Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff to Blow Your Mind, a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: Hi, my name is Robert Lamb and this is The
Speaker 2: Monster Fact, a short form series from Stuff to Blow
Speaker 2: Your Mind, focusing in non mythical creatures, ideas and monsters.
Speaker 2: In time, we have a special omnibus episode of The
Speaker 2: Monster Fact here for you this week, collecting four past
Speaker 2: episodes about miscellaneous creatures from the Dungeons and Dragons universe
Speaker 2: and the possible science behind them. This was actually a
Speaker 2: listener submitted idea, so we hope you enjoy the experiment
Speaker 2: up verst the Nosferatu. Countless variations of the vampire have
Speaker 2: emerged from our popular culture, fed by the blood of
Speaker 2: global myths, folk tales, and legends. Some are sparkly and sexy,
Speaker 2: others sinister and dangerous, others altogether monstrous. The Nosfaratu vampire
Speaker 2: has come into its own, a pale, emaciated body with
Speaker 2: ghoulish features, bat like ears, and a pair of elongated
Speaker 2: incisors for piercing the skin of their victims rather than
Speaker 2: the elongated canine teeth found in so many other vampire depictions.
Speaker 2: While not always completely devoid of humanity, they tend toward
Speaker 2: the purely monstrous end of the vampiric spectrum. They have
Speaker 2: been consumed by their unnatural thirst, and this may leave
Speaker 2: them in a primal state, or one in which their
Speaker 2: human memories have faded gossamer thin Naturally. This monster dates
Speaker 2: back to the nineteen twenty two silent German expressionist film Nosferatu,
Speaker 2: a symphony of harm, which in turn has been reimagined
Speaker 2: many times, including in the Werner Herzog nineteen seventy nine
Speaker 2: film Nosphora to the Vampire. I find the nosferatu particularly
Speaker 2: engaging in light of what we know of obligate sanguevares
Speaker 2: in the natural world, particularly vampire bats. It is a
Speaker 2: highly specialized diet blood and not at all an easy
Speaker 2: survival path. Unlike their insect and fruit eating relatives, vampire
Speaker 2: bats cannot hibernate or migrate. They lack the fat store,
Speaker 2: so instead they must feed every night, lapping up fifty
Speaker 2: percent of their body weight in order to survive. So, too,
Speaker 2: the Nosferatu seems shackled to its thirst. In the fifth
Speaker 2: edition of Dungeons and Dragons, the Nosfatu merits its own
Speaker 2: monster manual entry, separate from all the other blood drinkers
Speaker 2: with a level eight challenge rating. It's no pushover, but
Speaker 2: it's both powerful and in some ways fragile. Hyper sensitive
Speaker 2: to sunlight. It has a few different attack actions at
Speaker 2: its disposal, including blood disgorge, in which quote the nosferatu
Speaker 2: vomits blood in a fifteen foot cone. In doing this,
Speaker 2: it inflicts necrotic damage on any hapless hero in its way.
Speaker 2: In the natural world, scavenging vultures are known to disgorge
Speaker 2: their meals when threatened, perhaps to bribe the attacker or
Speaker 2: to lighten their load for an escape flight. This would
Speaker 2: be a fit in comparison for the Nosferatu, but the
Speaker 2: Texas horned lizard boasts an impressive defense as well. While
Speaker 2: its camouflage is generally quite effective, it can also shoot
Speaker 2: a stream of blood out of its eyelids with a
Speaker 2: range of up to five feet. According to the Oklahoma
Speaker 2: Department of Wildlife Conservation. The blood also contains a bitter chemical,
Speaker 2: possibly derived from ants and the lizard's diet, which predators
Speaker 2: such as coyotes find particularly distasteful. The lizard can use
Speaker 2: up to a third of its total blood supply in
Speaker 2: this counter attack, but it gets the Messa across, and
Speaker 2: now let's discuss the owl bear. The owl bear has
Speaker 2: a long history in the world of Dungeons and Dragons,
Speaker 2: dating all the way back to the gaming table of
Speaker 2: dn D pioneer Gary Gygax, who was allegedly inspired by
Speaker 2: the design of a Japanese Kaiju toy which he used
Speaker 2: as a mini on his gaming table. You can look
Speaker 2: up images of the toy, a slightly dirty beaked monster
Speaker 2: in yellow plastic, standing in the traditional stance of an
Speaker 2: old school t rex toy. Now you'll find various choices
Speaker 2: of dedicated owl bear miniature today, as the creature has
Speaker 2: become a standard of fantasy role playing adventures. A hulking,
Speaker 2: flightless owl beast that stalks the forests, hunting anything that
Speaker 2: moves and littering its layer with their bones. It is
Speaker 2: not an evil monster, but rather a neutral denizen of
Speaker 2: the fantastic forest. The fifth edition Monster Manual tells us
Speaker 2: that while the exact origins of the owl bear are unknown,
Speaker 2: there are two prevailing theories. Either a mad wizard spliced
Speaker 2: an owl and a bear together into a single beast,
Speaker 2: or it has simply always been a part of the
Speaker 2: fay wild, which I guess is basically like saying it's
Speaker 2: a naturally occurring organism. Fair enough, in the world of
Speaker 2: dungeons and dragons, magic has an objective reality, as do
Speaker 2: just about every god and devil you could possibly imagine.
Speaker 2: But what fascinates me about the owl bear is that
Speaker 2: none of that seems quite required. It feels highly probable.
Speaker 2: It's a whole different kettle of fish compared to something
Speaker 2: like a beholder or even a fire breathing dragon. It is,
Speaker 2: in essence, a large, flightless owl that has come to
Speaker 2: fill the ecological niche formally occupied by a bear. In
Speaker 2: the natural world, most bear species are omnivores, with pandas
Speaker 2: and polar bears representing the dietary extremes on either side
Speaker 2: herbivore and carnivore, respectively. It's implied that owlbears are carnivores,
Speaker 2: but I think we can easily imagine them obtaining nourishment. However,
Speaker 2: they can from freshly mauled adventures and scavenged corpses to
Speaker 2: elvin compost bins and maybe a few fresh berries. You
Speaker 2: might counter that owls, on the other hand, are certainly carnivorous,
Speaker 2: but the burrowing owl, which will chase its prey across
Speaker 2: the ground, consumes fruit and seeds in addition to various
Speaker 2: invertebrates and small vertebrates. The burrowing owl is still capable
Speaker 2: of flight and will swoop down on its prey, but
Speaker 2: its scampering tactics make it perhaps the closest thing to
Speaker 2: an actual owl bear in our world, despite its small size.
Speaker 2: A more fitting match from prehistoric times, however, it can
Speaker 2: be found in the giant Cuban owl or ornie megalonics,
Speaker 2: which thrived on the island of what is now Cuba
Speaker 2: during the late Plusticcene period. These owls measured three feet
Speaker 2: seven inches or one point one meters in height and
Speaker 2: were either flightless or nearly flightless. They are the largest
Speaker 2: owls known to have ever existed in the natural world.
Speaker 2: The giant Cuban owl and other large prehistoric birds, including
Speaker 2: the moa, thrived on islands and continents that land mammals
Speaker 2: hadn't reached yet. In these places, they filled niches typically
Speaker 2: filled by carnivorous mammals and megafauna. So, as far as
Speaker 2: my thinking goes, we don't need mad wizards to arrive
Speaker 2: at the owl bear. We just need an ecosystem isolated
Speaker 2: from mammals, in which some manner of ground hunting owl
Speaker 2: can steadily adapt toward filling the role traditionally occupied by bears.
Speaker 2: This would also work if some previously dominant organism had
Speaker 2: been wiped out and owls were able to move into
Speaker 2: that vacant niche. But of course, in the world of
Speaker 2: dungeons and dragons, dinosaurs and dragons coexists, so it's hard
Speaker 2: to imagine there being too many opportunities for evolving organisms
Speaker 2: like this, So maybe a mad wizard is required after all. Well,
Speaker 2: my son Sebastian, who actually just gave me an owl
Speaker 2: bear mini for Father's Day, suggests that it could have
Speaker 2: been the work of druids seeking not to release a
Speaker 2: ferocious monster on the world and challenge adventurers, but rather
Speaker 2: to bolster a challenged environment where perhaps adventurers had wiped
Speaker 2: out the bears and there was this lovely niche that
Speaker 2: needed filling. Well, why not the owl? Why not the
Speaker 2: owl bear? Thanks to my son Sebastian for chiming in
Speaker 2: on this one. Our third selection is the salt dragon.
Speaker 2: From green dragons to golden dragons, from solar dragons to
Speaker 2: lou dragons, the world of dungeons and dragons, as well
Speaker 2: a lot of dragons. One variety that hasn't officially seen
Speaker 2: the light of days since second edition is the salt
Speaker 2: dragon of the Forgotten Realms the setting. These pale, yellow
Speaker 2: and white dragons were said to inhabit salt encrusted lands,
Speaker 2: and their breath weapon was fittingly salt themed as well.
Speaker 2: They expelled a cone of salt crystals that could blind
Speaker 2: and wound enemies both above and beneath the water. While
Speaker 2: there are no true salt dragons in the natural world,
Speaker 2: we do have the Galapagos marine iguana, an endemic algae
Speaker 2: eating iguana species that adapted to thrive on the isolated
Speaker 2: islands of the Galactos. These are marvelous creatures to watch,
Speaker 2: sometimes comical and amusing as they bass on shore side
Speaker 2: rocks and landings, but utterly graceful in the water. Sure
Speaker 2: they frequently appear to sneeze, this is actually a means
Speaker 2: of clearing excess salt from their bodies via special glands
Speaker 2: at the nostrils. The resulting salt crystals sometimes encrust the
Speaker 2: thorny heads of the lounging creatures, giving them an even
Speaker 2: saltier appearance. Those horny protrusions on the head, by the way,
Speaker 2: help scrape algae away from the rocks during feeding. So
Speaker 2: for the marine iguana, salt sneezes are a means of
Speaker 2: removing excess levels of salt from the body, not a
Speaker 2: means of defense. Though even Charles Darwin in his book
Speaker 2: The Voyage of the Beagle described the act as follows quote.
Speaker 2: They do not seem to have any notion of biting,
Speaker 2: but when much frightened, they squirret a drop of fluid
Speaker 2: from each nostrul. First impressions surely, as the basting iguanas
Speaker 2: seem to regularly emit salt regardless of perceived fright Still,
Speaker 2: this curious feature allows us an avenue by which to
Speaker 2: imagine the physiology of a fantastic salt dragon. Instead of
Speaker 2: expelling all of its excess salt, perhaps the giant fantastic
Speaker 2: creature is able to safely store the crystals or concentrated
Speaker 2: saline solution inside its body for later use as a
Speaker 2: defensive or offensive breath weapon. And for a final selection,
Speaker 2: let's head into the cave. Nothing beats a good Dungeons
Speaker 2: and Dragons cave environment. Whether you're talking about an isolated
Speaker 2: cavern layer for a surface rampaging monster, or the dark
Speaker 2: subterranean kingdoms of the underdark. Either way, there's no shortage
Speaker 2: of exotic monsters to populate these environments, and at least
Speaker 2: two of them stand out for their mimicry of stalactites
Speaker 2: and stalagmites. First, let's refresh on the nature of stalactites
Speaker 2: and stalagmites. Stalactites derived from the Greek to drill is
Speaker 2: a mineral formation caused by dripping that forms on the ceiling.
Speaker 2: The corresponding formation on the floor of the cavern is
Speaker 2: a stalagmite. Some folks might keep the straight in their
Speaker 2: own heads by reminding themselves that stalactite has a C
Speaker 2: in it for ceiling and stalagmite has a G in
Speaker 2: it for ground. At any rate, let's start on the floor.
Speaker 2: Amid the stalagmites of D and D you'll find the
Speaker 2: occasional roper, a large, one eyed monster that mimics a
Speaker 2: silent cone of stone until an adventurer strays too close.
Speaker 2: Then its tentacles lash out and pull the victim in
Speaker 2: towards its deadly maw. Amid the stalactites, you'll find an
Speaker 2: even more fascinating creature, the piercer. This predatory mollusk has
Speaker 2: a sharp stalactite shaped shell, enabling it to blend in
Speaker 2: on a cavern ceiling until guess what, along comes another
Speaker 2: hand apless adventure and the piercer drops like the sword
Speaker 2: of Damocles and hopefully skewers the poor sap to the floor.
Speaker 2: If this is a success, the piercer or piercers, because
Speaker 2: sometimes they apparently live in groups, begin the feast. A fail, however,
Speaker 2: means the creature has to slowly crawl back up the
Speaker 2: wall to the ceiling in order to try its gravity
Speaker 2: assisted attack once more. The piercer is a fantastic monster concept,
Speaker 2: and both of these cave dwellers have been lashing out
Speaker 2: against adventurers since the first edition of Dungeons and Dragons. However,
Speaker 2: when we turn to the cave environments of the natural world,
Speaker 2: we don't find creatures that employ such tactics. While there
Speaker 2: are many amazing subterranean organisms with unique adaptations, you might
Speaker 2: well ponder over the seeming absence of stalactite and stalagmite mimics,
Speaker 2: as evolutionary developmental biologist William R. Jeffrey points out in
Speaker 2: his two thousand and nine paper Regressive evolution in a
Speaker 2: Dionacs cavefish quote. In surface dwelling animals, pigmentation is used
Speaker 2: for protection from sunlight, camouflage, mimicry, and species and sex recognition,
Speaker 2: all of which are irrevolent in the dark cave environment.
Speaker 2: Jeffrey is dealing chiefly with cavefish here in this paper,
Speaker 2: but I think we can safely apply this concept to
Speaker 2: other cave dwellers as well. Again, we have to remember
Speaker 2: that these are lightless worlds, where sight in the organs
Speaker 2: of sight lose their importance. Other senses become the coin
Speaker 2: of the realm in dungeons and dragons. However, we have
Speaker 2: to remember that these wholly fictional cave environments revolve entirely
Speaker 2: around the inevitable arrival of generally cited characters, and that
Speaker 2: they're often aided by magical vision lamps and or a
Speaker 2: plethora of bioluminescent fungi. And we have to remind ourselves
Speaker 2: that mimicry in the real world doesn't have to be visual.
Speaker 2: It can certainly be auditory. For instance, the greater mouse
Speaker 2: bat has been observed to mimic the sounds of buzzing
Speaker 2: hornets to scare away predatory owl species. Meanwhile, Chinese cicadas
Speaker 2: are also known to use intraspecific sexual mimicry that means
Speaker 2: males using female sounds in this case, which amounts to
Speaker 2: a similar sort of auditory deception. And hey, D and
Speaker 2: D has us covered there as well, with the Lucratum
Speaker 2: monstrous be said to lure in their victims by mimicking
Speaker 2: the voices of humans and other intelligent species, inspired by
Speaker 2: the half hyena half lion creatures described by Plenty of
Speaker 2: the Elder said to reside in Ethiopia, yet quote mimics
Speaker 2: the voices of men and cattle. Tune in for additional
Speaker 2: episodes of the Monster Fact each week. As always, you
Speaker 2: can email us at contact at stuff to Blow your
Speaker 2: Mind dot com.
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