Speaker 1: Hey everybody, Hey, me and TJ here and we have
Speaker 1: a special first of the year episode of our podcast
Speaker 1: Here for You that is actually inspired by Ava Monroe.
Speaker 2: Yes, my daughter, Yes, twenty one years old actually now,
Speaker 2: and she is a very wise young woman. She always
Speaker 2: has been. And she showed me yesterday that she made
Speaker 2: a list. She actually put it up on Instagram things
Speaker 2: I've learned this past year. And her list was very
Speaker 2: very cool. It went from being insightful we can't necessarily
Speaker 2: choose how we will react, but we can choose how
Speaker 2: we will respond things like that, and then I think
Speaker 2: she ended it with always jump in the water, even
Speaker 2: when it's cold. But it was a cute list that
Speaker 2: made us all think, and so we thought we might
Speaker 2: come up with our own list and encourage other people
Speaker 2: to do the same a list.
Speaker 1: Yes, we've had a hell of a year. I guess
Speaker 1: we should say, first of all, to everybody, a happy
Speaker 1: New Year Year carry twenty twenty four. That has happened
Speaker 1: so a lot of people turning the page. At a
Speaker 1: part of turning that page sometimes you do have to
Speaker 1: look back and take those lessons with you into the
Speaker 1: new year. So, based on and again inspired by Aba Munroe.
Speaker 1: We had some other ideas we were throwing around about
Speaker 1: this podcast, but we kind of liked that when and
Speaker 1: we got plenty of lessons we learned the past year
Speaker 1: that we could pass along or things were going to
Speaker 1: take with us. But we both made lists, but we
Speaker 1: haven't seen each other's list. So Robock has a list
Speaker 1: of how many of you got?
Speaker 2: I think I have just under thirty.
Speaker 1: Okay, I was up to about thirty seven.
Speaker 2: You won.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a competition, but it was, but if it was.
Speaker 1: But these are all so we haven't seen each other,
Speaker 1: so I am very curious to how this is going
Speaker 1: to go. So you want to kick things off, we'll
Speaker 1: just go back and forth.
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't even know which one to start with.
Speaker 2: But choosing love is always worth it, and it's always
Speaker 2: worth it.
Speaker 1: Okay. My first was there are some friendships I lost
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty three that will never come back, and
Speaker 1: I need to deal with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an important lesson to learn. I learned. Seeing
Speaker 2: my daughters happy is my greatest joy. Seeing them sad
Speaker 2: is my deepest pain.
Speaker 1: Good Lord, and I have seen that. I don't know
Speaker 1: how many people, maybe your parents outside of me. I
Speaker 1: have seen what it means to you when those two
Speaker 1: aren't okay, and even worse when they aren't okay and
Speaker 1: you think you're responsible for them not being okay. I
Speaker 1: have seen that, so definitely that's true.
Speaker 2: And we've ended on a very high note. Yes, I
Speaker 2: have to say my greatest joy. I just want to
Speaker 2: add that this season has been seeing my daughters happy again.
Speaker 1: Yes, and you all have been bouncing off the walls
Speaker 1: for the past couple of weeks, and that's been great.
Speaker 1: It's been great to see you. Actually, it kind of
Speaker 1: built up after the trip, the Thanksgiving trip yep, that
Speaker 1: you all took, so you all have. It's been very
Speaker 1: fun to watch you girls. My next one here is
Speaker 1: limiting access to you doesn't make you arrogant. It makes
Speaker 1: you purposeful and means you're intentional. It's okay to be
Speaker 1: discerning about who's around you. It's not you being arrogant.
Speaker 1: It's okay.
Speaker 2: I like that, all right. I learned that friendship companionship
Speaker 2: is as important, if not more important, than chemistry, Okay.
Speaker 1: I learned in twenty twenty three that just because you're busy,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you're doing a good job, or that
Speaker 1: you're getting a lot done.
Speaker 2: That is true. I've learned that you don't really know
Speaker 2: someone until you divorce them.
Speaker 1: Moving on, My next one is I learned in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three that forgiveness has nothing to do with the
Speaker 1: other person. It has everything to do with me.
Speaker 2: I've learned in twenty twenty three that you can lose
Speaker 2: your job, you can lose your reputation, you can lose friends,
Speaker 2: and you can lose most of your worldly possessions and
Speaker 2: still be happy.
Speaker 1: Well, you lost most of your worthly I did.
Speaker 2: There was a lot of selling going on. Oh you
Speaker 2: a giving away.
Speaker 1: Oh it was a great yard cell. It was a
Speaker 1: great yard cell. My next and twenty twenty three, I
Speaker 1: learned that you should not let your bad days trick
Speaker 1: you into thinking you have a bad life.
Speaker 2: I like that. I learned that yellow roses make me smile.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I learned they make you smile too. They make
Speaker 1: me smile. Now, I love that story. We'll get back
Speaker 1: into that. We'll do a whole episode on the age
Speaker 1: of innocence. That's a whole episode on it. My next
Speaker 1: one in twenty twenty three, I learned that it's very
Speaker 1: difficult to find a bar that can make a good
Speaker 1: skinny marguerite. Oh you know what.
Speaker 2: On that note, I learned that April spritzes are even
Speaker 2: better when you skip the club soda.
Speaker 1: And I learned in twenty twenty three that Gay Beach
Speaker 1: in Portovararta will forever be one of my favorite places.
Speaker 1: This is I have ever visited on vacation.
Speaker 2: That is amazing. I learned in twenty twenty three that
Speaker 2: I actually like oysters.
Speaker 1: Ah, yes, I was there for that. I learned in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three that worry is not going to take
Speaker 1: away tomorrow's troubles. Rather, it's just going to take away
Speaker 1: today's peace.
Speaker 2: Wow. I learned that Prince has so many songs that
Speaker 2: I had never heard of before, and I like them all.
Speaker 1: And you are welcome for that. I learned in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three that people have a tendency to judge you
Speaker 1: for your worst actions, but they judge themselves by their
Speaker 1: best intentions. That is so true.
Speaker 2: I learned not to be invested in outcomes twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1: I learned you can't depend on karma being a bitch,
Speaker 1: because sometimes good things happen to bad people. Sorry, it's
Speaker 1: just the.
Speaker 2: Way it goes. I learned that it's you're gonna love
Speaker 2: this one. It's better to fall into like and then
Speaker 2: walk into love. Ah, God, should I deliver that with
Speaker 2: the appropriate cheesiness?
Speaker 1: So you fell in like and then walked in love.
Speaker 2: I chose love after falling into like. I couldn't help
Speaker 2: how much I liked you. I just always liked being
Speaker 2: around like.
Speaker 1: With me, I did. They kind of stumbled into love.
Speaker 2: I purposefully walked into love.
Speaker 1: Like you tripped.
Speaker 2: There was a stumble or two. I still love a bruises,
Speaker 2: but it's okay.
Speaker 1: I learned in twenty twenty three that the smartest person
Speaker 1: in the room is often the one who realizes just
Speaker 1: how little they know.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think Socrates has a quote saying the wisest
Speaker 2: man in the world is the man who knows he
Speaker 2: knows nothing.
Speaker 1: There it is.
Speaker 2: It's one of my absolute favorite quotes.
Speaker 1: Well, I've seen it play out a little more this
Speaker 1: past year.
Speaker 2: Yes, I hear you. I learned that I am apparently
Speaker 2: always off rhythm because I dance on the ones and threes.
Speaker 2: I snap my fingers on the ones in threes.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's actually on my list that I learned in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three that Robot dances to music on the
Speaker 1: one and three notes. This. Look, this is it's our thing.
Speaker 2: I want to expand it a little because it's not
Speaker 2: just me perhaps.
Speaker 1: No, it's all of you, No, a lot.
Speaker 2: This is fascinating to be there.
Speaker 1: It is, but you didn't know it until I started
Speaker 1: pointing it out. And it is. And people talk about
Speaker 1: white people can't dance, and white people off beat or
Speaker 1: off rhythm and all this, but it comes from ye.
Speaker 1: I've seen this happen as music's playing. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how banging of a hip hop hit it might be,
Speaker 1: and how dope the beat is. You are going on
Speaker 1: a one and a three, which is the exact opposite
Speaker 1: of me and a lot of people I know of
Speaker 1: black people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of a certain color, you're gonna say, you all
Speaker 2: dance on the twos and.
Speaker 1: Fours in it's a the clap, the beat, the rhythm,
Speaker 1: it's the two. It's natural. So when I tried to
Speaker 1: do a one in three with you, I was like,
Speaker 1: how in God's name are you doing this?
Speaker 2: And I feel the same way about the twos and fours.
Speaker 2: I've tried and I can't do it. It's so counterintuitive
Speaker 2: to me, and I never realized that that was the
Speaker 2: thing until you pointed it out. And so we've tested
Speaker 2: it on people, and it's kind of true.
Speaker 1: Just have you just had you watch the room and
Speaker 1: look at the beat that some of your folks were.
Speaker 2: That was a big lesson I learned.
Speaker 1: But we've had fun.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, was that yours then? So it's my
Speaker 2: turn again? All right? I've learned that wipe Out is
Speaker 2: perhaps the best show on television.
Speaker 1: The original older version version of you like the new
Speaker 1: John Cena version.
Speaker 2: I like them both, but old school's kind of cool
Speaker 2: because they said things and comment on things that would
Speaker 2: never be allowed now. I think you would actually get canceled.
Speaker 2: So it's kind of fun like you're watching something you
Speaker 2: shouldn't be. I enjoy it immensely.
Speaker 1: With a new version two they but I think maybe
Speaker 1: because they're on cable they can get away with some
Speaker 1: things as well. But I don't know why that show
Speaker 1: is just continues to do it for us. It delivers
Speaker 1: every time, all right?
Speaker 2: Me?
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty three, I learned that it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how many times I watch them. Elf and Love actually
Speaker 1: are just two movies. I am never going to be into.
Speaker 2: That is such a shame because those are two of
Speaker 2: my favorites. I know, And I'm still trying to get
Speaker 2: you to watch The Holiday. Well I did, Well, did
Speaker 2: you actually watch it? See you say you watch movies
Speaker 2: and then you don't.
Speaker 1: I'm remembering now, we watched it. It was on a
Speaker 1: plane and I didn't have the audio.
Speaker 2: All that's correct.
Speaker 1: I saw what was happening, and turns out I guessed
Speaker 1: every scene correctly.
Speaker 2: That's the thing with rom comms. They're predictable, and that's
Speaker 2: why people like them because they know what they're gonna get.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I tried, Yeah.
Speaker 2: You're there. Usually aren't twists to a rom pound like
Speaker 2: you know exactly that at the end they're going to
Speaker 2: get together. Right. In twenty twenty three, I learned that
Speaker 2: TJ's chimmy cherry sauce is the bomb.
Speaker 1: All right, Yeah, that's good, that's good stuff, all right.
Speaker 1: Twenty and twenty three I learned that sometimes people have
Speaker 1: to pretend you're a bad person just so they don't
Speaker 1: have to feel guilty about the things they.
Speaker 2: Do to you. Well, in twenty twenty three, I learned
Speaker 2: that I like holding hands. You just learned this right,
Speaker 2: because I think if you can remember, I used to
Speaker 2: say to you, and this was a joke. I wasn't
Speaker 2: a hugger and I didn't like the hold hands. And
Speaker 2: now I.
Speaker 1: Know about the hugging thing. Is everybody around you never
Speaker 1: wanted to hug anybody, given your own children.
Speaker 2: Stock Well, it's just I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 2: if you're born that way, if you grew up a
Speaker 2: certain family dynamic. But I just was never a big
Speaker 2: hugger and never a big handholder. And it doesn't mean
Speaker 2: that I didn't have strong feelings of love and friendship
Speaker 2: for people. It's just not how I expressed myself. But
Speaker 2: I now holding hands.
Speaker 1: Why but you said it has nothing to do with
Speaker 1: any level of love or affection. But why did some
Speaker 1: switch flip you?
Speaker 2: I like holding your hand.
Speaker 1: Because I moisturized? Is that what it is? I have
Speaker 1: very soft No.
Speaker 2: You made me feel safe. I don't know. I like
Speaker 2: holding your hand. So that was a big about pace
Speaker 2: and I learned that about myself. But maybe it was
Speaker 2: just I needed you in my.
Speaker 1: Life, all right. You are you always reach for my hand,
Speaker 1: even if my hand is in my pocket. You'll still
Speaker 1: put your arm I do, and interlock in some way.
Speaker 1: You do as everybody has seen, probably right.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure it's been documented.
Speaker 1: Twenty three.
Speaker 2: I learned.
Speaker 1: I learned that white people really love casseroles. I didn't
Speaker 1: know how much we do.
Speaker 2: And you know, I made a great one for Christmas
Speaker 2: for the girls. It's my mom's potato casserole. It's got
Speaker 2: hash browns, cream of chicken soup, canned Campbell's. Usually, it's
Speaker 2: got sour cream in it. It's got a lot of
Speaker 2: shredded cheese in it. And oh, one of the magical
Speaker 2: parts about it. You saute green onions in butter first,
Speaker 2: and you mix it all together. Then you squish it
Speaker 2: all into the castrole dish. And here is the other
Speaker 2: amazing part of it. You get some corn flakes, you
Speaker 2: crunch them all, you spread them all over the top,
Speaker 2: and then you melt butter and drizzle the butter over
Speaker 2: the corn flakes. You bake it in the oven at
Speaker 2: four hundred for forty minutes. Oh yeah, and you will
Speaker 2: not have tasted anything better in your life.
Speaker 1: Are there raisins in there somewhere in this one?
Speaker 2: Oh? Raisins are a staple and a lot of cash roles.
Speaker 2: I'm not a fan of that. To put that on
Speaker 2: the record.
Speaker 1: It's a weird. But there are another that you said that,
Speaker 1: the potato one, and there's a I swear there's another one.
Speaker 2: A lot of them have cans of soup in them.
Speaker 2: Oh I mean, oh, yes, I've made like a spaghetti
Speaker 2: casserole where you put it in and you've got the
Speaker 2: cheese on top, you melt it. My grandmother used to
Speaker 2: always make that. Okay, it's just it's a it's an
Speaker 2: easy dish that's tasty that you can serve up easily
Speaker 2: for a lot of people. The look on your.
Speaker 1: Face discussed No, I learned. I've never been a castle
Speaker 1: roll guy. I have never liked the castle role. I
Speaker 1: didn't grow up around crest castle roles at all. But
Speaker 1: to see you not just that you can make one
Speaker 1: or two or three, like your level of enthusiasm for
Speaker 1: a castlerole and you're like, oh, the girls are going
Speaker 1: to adjust did like they're begging for a castle role?
Speaker 2: Is they are? That's actually not an understatement, I know,
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: So I learned that I was going.
Speaker 2: To bring some over to you, but it was all
Speaker 2: gone The.
Speaker 1: Next year how when is Easter.
Speaker 2: I'll keep on the food theme because I learned this
Speaker 2: year that I can't always eat the way I do
Speaker 2: when I'm training for a marathon.
Speaker 1: Again, the running is just an excuse for how you
Speaker 1: want to eat.
Speaker 2: But when you're training for a marathons, sometimes you're running
Speaker 2: up to forty miles a week, so you can kind
Speaker 2: of eat almost anything and justify it because you need
Speaker 2: the fuel. You need to replenish the lycochen that was
Speaker 2: lost in your legs, et cetera. Now, I think if
Speaker 2: anyone out there has followed me for some time, they
Speaker 2: know that I was a hardcore keto head for a while,
Speaker 2: and I still like to not have carbs or at
Speaker 2: least get my only carbs for vegetables. But when i'm running, well,
Speaker 2: excuses anyway. The last month has taught me that I
Speaker 2: need to go back to my old way of being
Speaker 2: more healthy in my choices. But yes, that was a
Speaker 2: lesson learned.
Speaker 1: You know what are we going to do the New
Speaker 1: York City half?
Speaker 2: Well, that's up to you, because you learned that you
Speaker 2: don't like cold running in the cold.
Speaker 1: You know what, In fact, I think I'll skip down
Speaker 1: to one of these that I have on my list
Speaker 1: that has to do with the cold. Where is it here?
Speaker 1: It is? I learned in twenty twenty three that I
Speaker 1: hate running in the cold, but I hate running on
Speaker 1: a treadmill even more so. I hate the cold. Yes,
Speaker 1: we talked about it. That half marathon this year. I
Speaker 1: think it was in the teens when it started, and
Speaker 1: it was the worst run of my life, training run
Speaker 1: or actual race.
Speaker 2: It was the worst of my life and it was
Speaker 2: the best of my life. It actually was a personal
Speaker 2: record for me. But you could argue that it was
Speaker 2: because we just wanted it to be over so quickly.
Speaker 1: I sure did, but I was still following you the
Speaker 1: whole time. And man, it was great to get to
Speaker 1: the end. I get some water and a castle roll
Speaker 1: in me to replenish.
Speaker 2: All Right, more lessons learned coming up? All right, more
Speaker 2: lessons learned in twenty twenty three that hopefully we can
Speaker 2: put to good use in this new year. In twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three, I learned that my family is awesome. Like
Speaker 2: I already knew, they were mostly awesome, but they were
Speaker 2: extra awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this was a special year in a lot of ways,
Speaker 1: in those relationships. That's all that happen in unfold, so
Speaker 1: that is a good one. I learned in twenty twenty
Speaker 1: three that some of the best weight you can ever
Speaker 1: lose is the weight of other people's opinion of you.
Speaker 2: I like what you did there, that's very cool. I
Speaker 2: learned that there are more kind people in the world
Speaker 2: than me.
Speaker 1: I learned that multitasking is not something to be proud of.
Speaker 2: That. I learned that surrendering is powerful. It seems like
Speaker 2: it might be weak when you hear the word surrender,
Speaker 2: pull up the white flag. But when you really surrender
Speaker 2: to whatever is happening, that is where your true power lies.
Speaker 1: Got it tattooed on my arm surrender as a nice
Speaker 1: little reminder of what you just said. What else? I
Speaker 1: learned in twenty twenty three that it's not change that's
Speaker 1: actually painful, it's your resistance to it that causes you
Speaker 1: the pain.
Speaker 2: I learned that I never want to go back to
Speaker 2: the grind of morning television. And I learned that I
Speaker 2: don't miss the job. I miss the people agree with you.
Speaker 1: There. I learned in twenty twenty three that what other
Speaker 1: people think of you is actually none of yo damn business.
Speaker 2: I learned the horror movies actually help my mood when
Speaker 2: I'm down or sad, and I think the reasoning behind
Speaker 2: it is at least I'm not being possessed by a demon.
Speaker 2: I mean, it could be worse.
Speaker 1: I was following you. I didn't know you were going
Speaker 1: to go with some really twisted logic there at the end.
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling good today, Let's watch a slasher.
Speaker 2: Well have we not done that a lot?
Speaker 1: Well, we watched them anyway, we don't watch them mega
Speaker 1: selves feel better?
Speaker 2: Were we watching them every day before last year? No?
Speaker 1: Well, we were going to work.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we had structured days back then and probably
Speaker 2: didn't have time to watch horror movies.
Speaker 1: We have no structure.
Speaker 2: Now, do you have a few favorites from this year?
Speaker 1: Favorite horror movies?
Speaker 2: We've seen so many?
Speaker 1: Oh, the first thing out of your mouth has to
Speaker 1: be talked to me.
Speaker 2: That is what I have down to.
Speaker 1: It has to be the first thing out of that
Speaker 1: was so good, Oh my yead oscar worthy good? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is where I will skip down on my list.
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty three, I learned that I would be
Speaker 1: willing to campaign for Sophie Wild to get an Oscar
Speaker 1: nomination for her role in Talk to Me. If y'all
Speaker 1: haven't seen this movie, you get on it today.
Speaker 2: It is. There were so many good horror movies this year.
Speaker 2: Evil Dead Rise Ooh, that was brilliant. And I didn't
Speaker 2: even realize it was a whole and someone who watches
Speaker 2: and is considers herself a horror movie officianadn't. I did
Speaker 2: not even know it was a whole series. The dates
Speaker 2: back into the nineteen seventies.
Speaker 1: Even I think they've only made five still, five or
Speaker 1: six of them worth the weight O movie. Okay, that
Speaker 1: movie is amazing, but yeah, Sophie Wild and get to
Speaker 1: your point talk to Me, Oh, that is the movie
Speaker 1: of the year for me.
Speaker 2: I've learned, and I guess this goes back to my
Speaker 2: worldly objects losing most of them. But I've learned that
Speaker 2: material objects are meaningless.
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty three, I learned that tabloid stories aren't reported,
Speaker 1: they're planted. I got all education in this this year.
Speaker 2: That's a good one and very true. In twenty twenty three,
Speaker 2: I learned, and this was surprising to me, that I
Speaker 2: sleep better now that I'm living authentically. It actually has
Speaker 2: had a huge impact on my sleeping before, and I
Speaker 2: think you'll know this. I've talked about this. I was
Speaker 2: either taking melotonin sometimes I would take trazodone to try
Speaker 2: and sleep. I would have white noise blaring. I couldn't
Speaker 2: sleep unless it was on. And I had to play
Speaker 2: Candy Crush for like ten minutes before I tried to
Speaker 2: go to sleep, to quiet my brain and to just
Speaker 2: kind of numb myself in a way. I had to
Speaker 2: do all of those things sometimes together, but at least
Speaker 2: one of those things had to be in place for
Speaker 2: me to fall asleep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was familiar with your habits. It was
Speaker 1: any time if I needed a question or I need
Speaker 1: to text you at night, I knew say, hey, have
Speaker 1: you done Candy Crush yet, because once you do that,
Speaker 1: it's done.
Speaker 2: I'm done. But now I actually fall asleep on my
Speaker 2: own without any sort of drug or it's noise. I
Speaker 2: can sleep. I can sleep on planes. Now.
Speaker 1: I still have to read you a lullaby though every night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it's my favorite part of the night. But no,
Speaker 2: I slept on a plane the other day. I've never
Speaker 2: been able to sleep on a plane.
Speaker 1: That was an exceptional twenty four hours. You had previously.
Speaker 2: Still I can't recab I had my head on your shoulder.
Speaker 2: And also I'm like, wait, we landed.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, okay twenty twenty three? What else I learned?
Speaker 1: My list continues with I or learned that even the
Speaker 1: person treating you poorly is going through something. Give him
Speaker 1: a break.
Speaker 2: You've said that. You know, even with some of the
Speaker 2: photographers that were on us, that was very frustrating and
Speaker 2: could easily make someone angry or say something or do
Speaker 2: something that maybe they wouldn't want documented. You always took
Speaker 2: the kind approach and you would go up to them
Speaker 2: and say, who you're working for? Did you get your picture?
Speaker 2: Hope you have a good day, And you just said, hey,
Speaker 2: he might have a mouth to feed, and this is
Speaker 2: the only way he can he can work. Someone's rude
Speaker 2: on the subway. Maybe they're trying to get somewhere that
Speaker 2: you don't know what's happened to them. You don't know
Speaker 2: what their day has been like, you don't know what
Speaker 2: their life is like.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, and sometimes people are just jerks. So there
Speaker 1: are those folks out there. But I start with giving
Speaker 1: somebody the benefit of the doubt, because I know Goodhill
Speaker 1: well both of us. At some point you snapped at
Speaker 1: somebody or something small because of something they had nothing
Speaker 1: to do with, and just everybody's going me. Life can
Speaker 1: be really hard, so yeah, I give people a break.
Speaker 2: I love that. I learned in twenty twenty three that
Speaker 2: there are no horns where people don't hank their horns
Speaker 2: in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Yeah, we were really amazed.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's just our New York experience, but yeah.
Speaker 1: It was in those small Maybe it's against the law,
Speaker 1: maybe we should look that up.
Speaker 2: But it was remarkable. Traffic jams, people walking the street.
Speaker 2: We never once saw anyone honk their horn, which I
Speaker 2: loved and appreciated.
Speaker 1: And no, it's good to be home, back to New York.
Speaker 1: I learned in twenty twenty three that I will never
Speaker 1: understand why Sailing by Christopher Cross is considered such a
Speaker 1: great song. I won't understand it. I'm respecting it, fine,
Speaker 1: I just I don't get it.
Speaker 2: When you walked in the door, we were getting ready
Speaker 2: for New Year's Eve. I was getting ready for New
Speaker 2: Year's Eve, and I quickly raced to try and change
Speaker 2: the music because Sailing was on and I knew you
Speaker 2: were going to make fun of me. You were like,
Speaker 2: this is your get ready to go out music. I
Speaker 2: would say, sailing is good at any time of the day,
Speaker 2: in any experience. At that moment, yes, I was enjoying it.
Speaker 1: I came in hot, like I was ready. We had
Speaker 1: been separated for a couple hours during the day. It
Speaker 1: was time to get back together. We were going to
Speaker 1: start getting to clothes together. And I put the music on,
Speaker 1: get the drinks flowing, and I get down the hallway.
Speaker 2: Here sailing it completely changes your mood right for the better.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I learned in twenty twenty three that feeling misunderstood is
Speaker 2: one of the most difficult human experiences.
Speaker 1: I learned that girls grow into and out of style
Speaker 1: phases really quickly.
Speaker 2: That's true. And I've been able to kind of tell
Speaker 2: you what's coming next because it's so funny to watch
Speaker 2: the bean dress the way and Elise was dressing a
Speaker 2: couple of years ago. So yes, more to come.
Speaker 1: When is when does this one in the the I
Speaker 1: live on the streets, and.
Speaker 2: Yes, but it's chic and none of these clothes fit me.
Speaker 2: We call it yeah, yes, yes, I think that's what
Speaker 2: it is. Hobo chic I've never understood that it's kind
Speaker 2: of grunge on steroids, because I remember grunge in the nineties,
Speaker 2: but this is taking it to a whole new level
Speaker 2: where you actually are laughing at the clothes that they're
Speaker 2: wearing their like XXL.
Speaker 1: Sabine even laughed the other day that she grew out
Speaker 1: of a phase to where she had I don't even
Speaker 1: know what phases is where she would have her her
Speaker 1: pants hiked up so high but then have the shirt
Speaker 1: tucked in in the front. What is that.
Speaker 2: We be?
Speaker 1: She wanted to do that all the time, and it
Speaker 1: drove me crazy. She even was laughing about it the
Speaker 1: other day, like, I'm out of that one.
Speaker 2: Well, there could be a preppy phase. I saw Eva
Speaker 2: go through that. Then there can be what do they
Speaker 2: call it emo? All black.
Speaker 1: She's with the oversize.
Speaker 2: Yes, and it's black, black hoodie, back weatpants, oversized pants,
Speaker 2: black boots, everything. Yeah, well, she fits right in in
Speaker 2: New York.
Speaker 1: Drives me crazy, is the thing.
Speaker 2: I have learned that expectations are the root of almost
Speaker 2: all resentments future resentments. So I've learned that when you
Speaker 2: can and I don't ever want to lower my expectations,
Speaker 2: of myself. But when you lower expectations of things you
Speaker 2: cannot control, it's life is a lot easier.
Speaker 1: What about expectations of people? Should we not sell? Okay,
Speaker 1: this is where I learn into trouble. Sometimes I have
Speaker 1: an expectation of someone that I don't state, but then
Speaker 1: sometimes they state and give me an expectation I should
Speaker 1: now have with them, and they don't deliver on that.
Speaker 1: So where are you in the expectations you like?
Speaker 2: If you're looking for peace, if you just let people
Speaker 2: be who they are and accept them as they are,
Speaker 2: then you can choose whether or not you want to
Speaker 2: be around them. But if you think you're going to
Speaker 2: change them or that you can require something of them,
Speaker 2: I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment and yes, resentment.
Speaker 1: I learned in twenty twenty three that it takes a
Speaker 1: lot of trial and error to figure out your correct
Speaker 1: thc edible dosage. A lot of trial and error.
Speaker 2: How's that working for you?
Speaker 1: The thing is about trial and error when it comes
Speaker 1: to thac edibles. Even your errors are a good.
Speaker 2: Time and it really helps if you don't have a job,
Speaker 2: so you can have freedom to conduct those experiments and still, yes,
Speaker 2: live your life. What's your Have you found out what
Speaker 2: yours is?
Speaker 1: I'm giving you all I'm going to.
Speaker 2: Give you on this Topicay, I have learned in twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three that it's never too to start again, to
Speaker 2: start over.
Speaker 1: I learned in twenty twenty three that having a good
Speaker 1: travel partner is everything. And I got two people, you
Speaker 1: and being is a wonderful Sabine is a wonderful person
Speaker 1: to travel with one on one. She's just done it
Speaker 1: so much that she just gets it. She knows she's
Speaker 1: better than most adults in traveling. And you've of course
Speaker 1: traveled so much and we're always cutting up and clowning
Speaker 1: and liking the same things. And so it's been great
Speaker 1: traveling with you too.
Speaker 2: I agree, and Avan and Elz are also the most
Speaker 2: incredible travelers because I think what happens is and you know,
Speaker 2: when you're traveling sometimes it's I'm not trying to laugh
Speaker 2: at someone, but you see how miserable people are. You're
Speaker 2: going on vacation, and yeah, traveling sucks, though it does,
Speaker 2: but you know what it is. You have expectations that
Speaker 2: things are going to go right, that you're not going
Speaker 2: to hit traffic, that right but people are upset that
Speaker 2: things didn't go exactly the way they wanted them to.
Speaker 2: And so that's why, because they rarely do. When you travel,
Speaker 2: if you can bring along a little bit of levity,
Speaker 2: it makes a huge difference. And so if you go
Speaker 2: in with that attitude, you can laugh when everything goes wrong.
Speaker 2: I mean we had Sometimes when things go wrong, you
Speaker 2: end up having experiences you wouldn't have had otherwise. Oh,
Speaker 2: it can actually be a blessing.
Speaker 1: They can. But if you go in you're right knowing
Speaker 1: that we have seen everything in our traveling days. We've
Speaker 1: traveled so much, so this is very little you can
Speaker 1: throw at us and we'll go, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: can't believe this happened. So it's good to travel with
Speaker 1: somebody who has that same experience.
Speaker 2: I like that. I've learned that, while turning fifty is
Speaker 2: absolutely a privilege, I am very discouraged by this one thing.
Speaker 2: This is the thing that I have been most frustrated
Speaker 2: by getting older. And I've learned that your eyesight deteriorates
Speaker 2: no matter who you are, and I cannot see a menu.
Speaker 1: Now, So this is me. I'm going to get more
Speaker 1: and more attractive to you as your eyes.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's part of what nice. I'm serious biology, it
Speaker 2: might be actually being kinder so I can't see as
Speaker 2: well up close, So that's probably a good thing as
Speaker 2: we age.
Speaker 1: Right, No, but you might start finding other people more
Speaker 1: attractive too. That's a problem for me. But no, you're
Speaker 1: right about the eyes. It was yeah. Look I don't
Speaker 1: have that issue yet, but to see it now and
Speaker 1: how you deal with it, and it's in a different respect.
Speaker 2: Bought me reading glasses for Christmas, Yes, and I love them, but.
Speaker 1: You have some nice ones. All the ones you have
Speaker 1: are you know? They always disposable anyone who has.
Speaker 2: The same issue, anyone over the age of probably forty five,
Speaker 2: most people. I have so many reading glasses and they're
Speaker 2: all from CBS read so they're they're cheap, and they
Speaker 2: crack when you open them up and close them, and
Speaker 2: they might not look the best, but I lose them
Speaker 2: a lot.
Speaker 1: So but I wanted you to have a nice pair
Speaker 1: or two. So Warby Parker, thank you for this. Try
Speaker 1: try on at home, try on. But yes, you got
Speaker 1: nice classes. Now we'll see how long they last. But
Speaker 1: they look good on you.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: One point two five right.
Speaker 2: Right, But I'm I'm going to one point five pretty soon.
Speaker 1: How soon? I just got the classes.
Speaker 2: I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm fighting it, I'm fighting it.
Speaker 1: I have learned in twenty twenty three that Olivia Rodrigo
Speaker 1: is freaking awesome in concert. This young lady is amazing,
Speaker 1: and I really respect a live artist. So I learned
Speaker 1: that very recently, all.
Speaker 2: Right, in twenty twenty three, I have learned that true
Speaker 2: friends are those who are still there for you when
Speaker 2: you have nothing to give.
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty three, that cancer scares are constantly recurring
Speaker 1: for cancer survivors. Yeah, we all have somebody in our
Speaker 1: family or some a friend, or somebody by some that
Speaker 1: we're connected to that has dealt with cancer in one way,
Speaker 1: form or fashion. But we when you live with somebody
Speaker 1: and somebody you love every single day and there's like
Speaker 1: a daily conversation or a daily I feel this or
Speaker 1: daily I don't know about that or should I. There's
Speaker 1: like a constant reminder every day that something could go wrong.
Speaker 1: Like there's not just a six month or a one
Speaker 1: year checkup type of thing. It's a constant something that
Speaker 1: makes you think, ooh, could this be it.
Speaker 2: It's a lifetime of fear of recurrence, but it's also
Speaker 2: a lifetime reminding you that life is short and to
Speaker 2: live to your very full. So there's a there's a curson,
Speaker 2: a blessing with it. All right, our final lessons when
Speaker 2: we come back, all.
Speaker 1: Right, we got just a few more lessons learned in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three that we are going to pass along
Speaker 1: one more for me from twenty twenty three, I learned
Speaker 1: that I'm actually interested in getting married again. Look, it's
Speaker 1: nobody wants to be divorced once, and certainly nobody wants
Speaker 1: to be divorced twice. And I didn't turn me off
Speaker 1: to relationships. It turned me off kind of to the
Speaker 1: idea of getting married again. But here I am. So
Speaker 1: I learned that in twenty twenty three. I also learned
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty three, thanks to you, yacht rock is
Speaker 1: a thing, is what I learned. It's a real thing.
Speaker 2: It is, and it's enjoyed by many.
Speaker 1: I've learned that as well. I went to a yacht
Speaker 1: rock wedding recently.
Speaker 2: Oh it was amazing, it was. I've learned in twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three that if you go onto Spotify, you can
Speaker 2: find a playlist that says music that gets white people turned.
Speaker 1: You're welcome. You're welcome. And for anybody out there who
Speaker 1: needs to entertain white people, group.
Speaker 2: This.
Speaker 1: It's guaranteed hits.
Speaker 2: It's embarrassing how spot on it is.
Speaker 1: It's okay.
Speaker 2: I mean, I was confused while you were playing all
Speaker 2: the music I like that you never listened to, and
Speaker 2: so I actually asked you, what playlist is this, never
Speaker 2: expecting you to say music that gets white people turned.
Speaker 1: And they nailed it. Every single time.
Speaker 2: The nailed it.
Speaker 1: Also, on twenty twenty three, I learned that this two
Speaker 1: shell pass really is true. So many people told us that,
Speaker 1: and you don't believe it in the moment, but it's true.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it takes longer than you think it will, but
Speaker 2: it will pass. I love that I learned in twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three that people reflect back to you what you
Speaker 2: believe about yourself, and so it's important how you think
Speaker 2: of yourself, how you regard yourself, because that is what
Speaker 2: people will reflect back to you. And when you're feeling shame,
Speaker 2: when you're feeling blame, when you're feeling guilt, when you're
Speaker 2: feeling down, it matters how you think of yourself.
Speaker 1: That was some of the best I remember that quote
Speaker 1: not quote. It was a message from Candy Carter. I
Speaker 1: love you out there, Candy, But she sent this text
Speaker 1: to me. I know I shared it with you, but
Speaker 1: she said, you need to remember who you are. You're
Speaker 1: starting to believe what other people are saying about you,
Speaker 1: right like you're just some random viewer out there reading
Speaker 1: this stuff about TJ. Holmes. And she said, you actually
Speaker 1: are starting to believe what people saying about you. Yep,
Speaker 1: snap out of it.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: My next one twenty twenty three, I learned that it's
Speaker 1: not my fault that the sports brought inserts keep coming
Speaker 1: out during the wash. I didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 2: I have learned that I spend, in a like an
Speaker 2: absurd amount of time trying to get those inserts back
Speaker 2: in correctly not folded over. I need somebody to do
Speaker 2: better to make a sports braw where that is not
Speaker 2: a constant source of frustration.
Speaker 1: I just know I feel bad about it, but it
Speaker 1: turns out it's a thing and it's not my fault.
Speaker 2: That was a good one, baby, Yeah, that made me
Speaker 2: laugh all right in twenty twenty three, and I'm going
Speaker 2: to actually quote something that I learned. Gossip is one
Speaker 2: of the most rampant and pervasive evils in our culture today.
Speaker 2: Matthew Kelly wrote that in his book Life Is Messy,
Speaker 2: and one of the reasons he says it is that
Speaker 2: gossip can never be undone. It actually changes the perception,
Speaker 2: which becomes reality. And we've all done it to other people,
Speaker 2: and I think most of us have all been recipients
Speaker 2: of it. But I just want to remember how evil
Speaker 2: gossip is. I've learned that, and I've made a valiant
Speaker 2: effort to not participate in it.
Speaker 1: What's the there's a longer excerpt. There's a whole section
Speaker 1: he wrote in that book about gospel because you shared
Speaker 1: it with me a long time ago. But it's great.
Speaker 1: We should get into that and we'll put it out
Speaker 1: there for people to see at some point. But it's
Speaker 1: it's think of the times you've stood around a water cooler,
Speaker 1: you stood in the bathroom at work and started whispering
Speaker 1: or something about somebody passing something along that type of stuff.
Speaker 1: You think it seems so minor and you're not doing
Speaker 1: any harm. It is just awful.
Speaker 2: It's crushing.
Speaker 1: It is it is, But no that's a say his
Speaker 1: name again. His name is Matthew Kelly, and Life is
Speaker 1: Messy is the book and my last one here lesson
Speaker 1: from twenty twenty three. I learned that it's possible to
Speaker 1: spend a whole year with somebody and still miss them
Speaker 1: when they get up to go to the bathroom. All
Speaker 1: it's been we you and I have spent an exhort
Speaker 1: amount of time together.
Speaker 2: Absurd. I think we probably have spent enough time together
Speaker 2: that we should have been married for ten.
Speaker 1: Years, and that I don't think that's overstating. I don't
Speaker 1: neither the amount of time we got to spend together.
Speaker 1: You feel like you need a break from Oftentimes in relationships,
Speaker 1: you want to break from folks and you need to
Speaker 1: be away from them so then you can miss them.
Speaker 1: And I've just never had an experience like this. I'm
Speaker 1: happening with you and we were. Some would say curse,
Speaker 1: but also we could say blessed to have what we
Speaker 1: had the past year and to be where we are.
Speaker 1: So happy New Year to YouTube, Mama. I'll see you
Speaker 1: this year a.
Speaker 2: Lot, a lot. I'm not going anywhere, maybe do the
Speaker 2: bathroom a couple times.
Speaker 1: I'll miss you all right, really, folks, happy twenty twenty three,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four to you. Hope there's as excited as
Speaker 1: we are to turn the page on twenty twenty three,
Speaker 1: but also take some of those lessons with us into
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. You aren't going to give them the
Speaker 1: don't know where to find us? You remember people were saying, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I hope that we're not going to edit this out.
Speaker 1: We're going to keep this just like this. Look, some
Speaker 1: of you all complained, including some of our family members
Speaker 1: and friends, that yo, the podcast ends too abruptly. We
Speaker 1: don't like you're going going. We might even be into
Speaker 1: some and then boom, it stops. And so I just stopped,
Speaker 1: and I thought Robes was going to pick it back up,
Speaker 1: and she did.
Speaker 2: Sorry. We're usually really good at communicating with our eyes
Speaker 2: and I can pick up where you leave off and
Speaker 2: vice versa. But I just dropped the ball completely. So yes,
Speaker 2: as we wrap up the podcast, everyone, you can follow
Speaker 2: us on Instagram, AJ Roeboch and yours is official teachers.
Speaker 2: I don't even remember now maybe we should follow you,
Speaker 2: and then of course you can follow the podcast at
Speaker 2: Amy and TJ Podcast. We'll see you all a little
Speaker 2: bit later this week.
Speaker 1: We probably should have just let it into abruptly