WEBVTT - Robyn Stern and Body Dysmorphic Disorder

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, gorgeous. I want to do it kind of like

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<v Speaker 1>Heather McDonald's Hello and Welcome to give them a la

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<v Speaker 1>podcast That was really good?

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<v Speaker 2>Was it?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I listened to her podcast on the way home

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<v Speaker 1>from Newport and I was just rowling. I was rolling,

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<v Speaker 1>not rolling like that like the cool kids, the cool

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<v Speaker 1>kids rolling laughing.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think a lot of people know how good

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<v Speaker 3>you are at impressions. It's like a I would call

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<v Speaker 3>it a hidden talent.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait really, no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 3>You're amazing at impressions of like your friends, of like.

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<v Speaker 1>My mom goes sucker in her mouth.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, girl, we have Lisa in the office today. Love,

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<v Speaker 3>love the energy.

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<v Speaker 1>You're the right side of my body, Jess, and my

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<v Speaker 1>mom is.

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<v Speaker 3>The l last and oh is the heart.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh is the whole beat the heart. Sweeten out of

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<v Speaker 1>my face. Baby, she's so stink and cute. Can I

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<v Speaker 1>tell you? Yeah? I just so. We've done this a

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<v Speaker 1>few times now, but she's getting to that age where

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<v Speaker 1>she like really is enjoying girl time. Likes she knows

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<v Speaker 1>that it's girl time. She does, so I'll put her

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<v Speaker 1>in the bed, okay, and we'll start a movie and

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<v Speaker 1>we'll make like a treat and she'll sit in the

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<v Speaker 1>middle and watch the movie and she's digging into all

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<v Speaker 1>the treats and eating and watching and laughing. She is, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's the cutest thing you'll ever see.

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<v Speaker 3>It's you, your mom and oh it's the three of you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's like it's girl time. Everyone in the bed.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's make a snack and you can tell little girl.

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<v Speaker 3>Now do you watch kid shows or does she not

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<v Speaker 3>really care about the movie. She just cares that she's

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<v Speaker 3>sitting there, so you maybe watch more of an adult

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<v Speaker 3>mover or.

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<v Speaker 1>No, we watched Monsters Inc. Yeah, okay, Monsters University Fun.

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<v Speaker 1>She's in to Monsters Inc. Right now. Oh that's cute. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>loves it. I've shown her like older movies like Lion

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<v Speaker 1>King and stuff, and she there's just something about the

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<v Speaker 1>Monsters Inc. That she is like honed in on. Would

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<v Speaker 1>you know I love animated movies?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you know Disney disney Land has a Monster's Ink Ride.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if it'd be too scary for her,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's like you basically just like sit in a

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<v Speaker 3>cart and you go through the Monster's Inc. World.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I think she'd love it, you do? Yeah? I

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<v Speaker 1>want to take her to Disneyland. Yeah, I have to

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<v Speaker 1>do that. We got to put that on the schedule. Mom. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so there was that. This weekend was Labor Day weekend. Sunday,

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<v Speaker 1>I went out on a boat with my friends. It

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<v Speaker 1>was absolutely spectacular.

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<v Speaker 3>It looked amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>They played fifty cent in the club like all day

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<v Speaker 1>for me, and I was like torking my flat ass

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<v Speaker 1>all over that yacht.

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<v Speaker 3>That I saw it on your stories. You had like

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<v Speaker 3>a did you have like a light.

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<v Speaker 1>Green, like a lime lime green?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, looked so fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone else wasn't black. I was like, you should have

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<v Speaker 1>told me, because now I look so out of place

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<v Speaker 1>in these photos. No, you did it.

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<v Speaker 3>You loved who was on? Was it just like a

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<v Speaker 3>bunch of friends? Was it? Did you know everyone?

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<v Speaker 1>It was Sheena's Sheena's group okay that she so kindly

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<v Speaker 1>introduced me to when we all just really hit it off.

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<v Speaker 1>We actually hit it off when we went on the

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<v Speaker 1>boat in Mexico for Sheena's like bachelorette day.

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<v Speaker 3>Got it okay?

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<v Speaker 1>You know? And I you know I have I have

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<v Speaker 1>social anxiety. I don't think many people would know that

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<v Speaker 1>just because of the way I come across but when

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<v Speaker 1>you tell me we're going somewhere with a group of

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<v Speaker 1>people that I don't know, and it's like I start

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<v Speaker 1>getting triggered, Like safe place, Nope, nope, hotel room sounds safe? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>rooms sound safe.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Not that these people have ever done anything to me.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just I get nervous and I don't have alcohol

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else to kind of like calm the thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>in my head, which is great. I don't want that.

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<v Speaker 1>But these women were amazing. They're all moms, and we

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<v Speaker 1>just hit it off. And they said come out for

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<v Speaker 1>Labor Day and I said I will.

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<v Speaker 3>Be there, so fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And then the next so we went out on

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<v Speaker 1>the boat on Sunday. My mom brought Ocean down that night,

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<v Speaker 1>and Monday we went to their fabulous home. It's like

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely stunning. All of Ocean's little friends were there.

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<v Speaker 3>So swimmy. I saw, do the babies get along? I

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<v Speaker 3>think I've asked you this before, but I just asked

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<v Speaker 3>as like a babysitter who used to like babysit babies,

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<v Speaker 3>and I would always have to be watching the ones

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<v Speaker 3>I babysat because they were constantly going after kids.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what. They're really sweet with each other, and

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<v Speaker 1>they do know each other. Okay, second Ocean sees summer

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<v Speaker 1>Moon or Hartford or Cruisy, and there were other little

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<v Speaker 1>kids there, and Ocean is just so sweet and she

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<v Speaker 1>knows like, you're a baby, I'm a baby. Let's be friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's get in the kidti pool together, have a heyday.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's just beyond que.

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<v Speaker 3>That house where we were was beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>It's beyond stunning.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean the view of the ocean, and Ocean.

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<v Speaker 1>Was obsessed with looking at the ocean. She kept taking

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<v Speaker 1>making me take her to the edge of the pool

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<v Speaker 1>to look out at it, and she'd point and then

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<v Speaker 1>look at me and go cute little smile Stacy. We

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<v Speaker 1>were with her last week and she goes la la.

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<v Speaker 1>She literally doesn't have a thought without smiling. And so

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<v Speaker 1>I was watching, oh, and she would stop have a

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<v Speaker 1>thought laugh. I was like, oh my gosh, she does.

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<v Speaker 3>She's the happiest, sweetest baby.

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<v Speaker 1>She's so stinking cute and easy. And I'm biased because

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<v Speaker 1>she's mine, but I'm like, your perfection, yeah, like this

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<v Speaker 1>is what perfection is.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So they had a blast. You know. I love when

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<v Speaker 1>I can get Ocean together with her little friends. I

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<v Speaker 1>think it's important for her, and like, how lucky am

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<v Speaker 1>I that she has like a little built in friend group.

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<v Speaker 1>And then all of the moms are friends too. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's adorable.

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<v Speaker 3>It's her friends for life, just like Olivia said.

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<v Speaker 1>And Olivia, yes, because our moms are friends. Now, then

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<v Speaker 1>we're friends, and now we have babies together that are

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<v Speaker 1>five months apart, they're friends.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, right, Candace and Chris, it's so cute.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the whole vibe.

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<v Speaker 3>You're kind of living the dream.

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<v Speaker 1>So you know that I go savage when ocean goes

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<v Speaker 1>down for a nap on ig. And when I say savage,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't mean like I start trolling, but I start

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<v Speaker 1>looking up content and I go to one page to

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<v Speaker 1>the next page. I'm like, how the hell did I

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<v Speaker 1>end up on this person's page from Wisconsin? And now

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<v Speaker 1>she's living in Dubai and looking at her man who's

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<v Speaker 1>super rich, and now I'm on his mom's page.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like the best we all do.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd go right into the as. But anyway, I was

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<v Speaker 1>looking at this page and this woman had posted something

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<v Speaker 1>and in the background or the song that was playing

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<v Speaker 1>was Seven Rings by Ariana Grande. Okay, and the part

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<v Speaker 1>where she says, whoever said money can't solve your problems

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<v Speaker 1>must not have had enough money to solve them, And

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, that is so true. Yeah, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know why it made me go into this, like, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, money can so solve your problems. I've lived

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<v Speaker 1>in Hollywood way too long. I see these rich, powerful

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<v Speaker 1>people solving problems and silencing people with their money for

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<v Speaker 1>a long fucking time.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, So what they mean to say, Jess is

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<v Speaker 1>money cannot buy you happiness, cannot buy you security in

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<v Speaker 1>the sense if you're an insecure person, it can't quiet

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<v Speaker 1>that down. But problems. I've seen people pay off their

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<v Speaker 1>problems in a hot second. Right, Yeah, So I went

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<v Speaker 1>into that whole thing literally as I'm listening to it

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<v Speaker 1>watching it, and I was like, wait, I've seen this

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<v Speaker 1>short circuits plug in. I never you know, it's like

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<v Speaker 1>so true. Yeah, are Grande speaking mad? Truth in seven rings?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, yes, that's the world we live in, unfortunately

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<v Speaker 3>most of the time. Unfortunately sometimes fortunately, because there are

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of problems in the world that can be

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<v Speaker 3>solved by money, like through charities and stuff like that.

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<v Speaker 3>But on the other hand, there's a lot of problems.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean the world we live in. If you are

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<v Speaker 3>rich enough, you can kind of do anything. Or yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>shut anyone up.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's Tom's Girardi and his mistress. He had three

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<v Speaker 1>hundred thousand dollars. She's a freaking judge in the court. Sy, Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>and you want me to feel comfortable being in the

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<v Speaker 1>court system when I'm watching stuff like this happen a

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<v Speaker 1>rich guy coming in. Yeah, or you got on the

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<v Speaker 1>flip side that I've experienced many times. Hey, girl, be quiet,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll get you a chanel bag. That bitch silence is

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<v Speaker 1>herself real quick. Yeah all right, So Ariana Grande was

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<v Speaker 1>onto something. But speaking true, it cannot buy you happiness.

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<v Speaker 3>True, it can't buy you happiness, but I always do

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<v Speaker 3>say money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy

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<v Speaker 3>quote unquote buy you time. And for me, I like

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<v Speaker 3>to spend time with my loved ones, so indirectly money

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<v Speaker 3>could buy me happiness, but it can't directly buy me happiness.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Well, I want to hear what you guys think,

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<v Speaker 1>So go my my podcast page and the number is

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<v Speaker 1>on there. Call in and leave me a message, because

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<v Speaker 1>you know I just bumped up on this I just

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<v Speaker 1>spew what I think. But it's just what I think.

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<v Speaker 3>Lala Cronde.

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<v Speaker 1>They give them La La podcast The next Savage Thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Sephany Frankle okay posting about the Kardashians.

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<v Speaker 3>On TikTok or did you see it on TikTok?

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<v Speaker 1>I saw it, no, because you remember I see everything late,

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<v Speaker 1>oh late, because I only look at Instagram. People send

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<v Speaker 1>me things on TikTok and I'm like, my assistant runs

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<v Speaker 1>my TikTok. I can't even get into it. I would

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<v Speaker 1>don't know the password, I don't know what it's saying.

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<v Speaker 1>Screen record it, send it to me. You can't.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't say that now because she hasn't posted in

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<v Speaker 3>a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>But we'll get it back up.

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<v Speaker 3>But anyway, a lot of work, it's a lot Well,

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<v Speaker 3>when when the season ten of vander Pump starts, we've

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<v Speaker 3>got great content like that then will be posted.

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<v Speaker 1>So basically once a year you'll get good content from TikTok.

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<v Speaker 1>But no, I'm seeing people I won't mention names at

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<v Speaker 1>the pool party yesterday who have already put reels up,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, who has the time. I know, who

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<v Speaker 1>has the patience and the energy, like you literally capture

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<v Speaker 1>every single moment. Did you even enjoy yourself? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Lisa says it's kind of a talent too, and I.

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<v Speaker 1>Agree, definitely a talent.

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<v Speaker 3>But we just talked about this. Remember, it's like it

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<v Speaker 3>made me sad when I was like out with girlfriends

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<v Speaker 3>and then a couple of them were spending literally the

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<v Speaker 3>whole night shooting content, and then when we were at dinner,

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<v Speaker 3>they were editing the content, and then I just never

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<v Speaker 3>talked to them the whole night. It was sad. But

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<v Speaker 3>it is also a talent. And if it's your full

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<v Speaker 3>time job, then like or your job at all, you're

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<v Speaker 3>making an income, do you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, By the way, I may not understand it, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but like I can respect it. Yeah. I wish I

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<v Speaker 1>was doing that because my one point seven would be

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<v Speaker 1>at one point eight if I gave a damn. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I posted like three times in like two weeks, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm killing it. I know, killing it, mom.

0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:51.680
<v Speaker 1>I know whose phone is on?

0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:52.079
<v Speaker 2>Is that you?

0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:56.600
<v Speaker 1>If you're a rookie, turn it off. You can turn

0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:57.640
<v Speaker 1>the sound off.

0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:01.200
<v Speaker 3>Because I'm charging it.

0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:04.080
<v Speaker 1>This is what happens. And then she'll put it in

0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.360
<v Speaker 1>the kitchen at night, Yeah, and not turn it off.

0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:12.600
<v Speaker 1>I'll be like Lisa, turn off the phone and it's

0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:13.680
<v Speaker 1>a barking noise.

0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:15.720
<v Speaker 3>I know it's a barking ring tone.

0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.960
<v Speaker 1>It's ring tone, not even a text. So it continues

0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:20.680
<v Speaker 1>to bark until the person hangs up.

0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:23.840
<v Speaker 3>By the way, Lise, I love your hair today. She

0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:26.640
<v Speaker 3>has her hair and like that the clip you wear

0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:28.319
<v Speaker 3>it like this too, Lala, I need to start. It's

0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:31.640
<v Speaker 3>a very like Y two K hairstyle that's back. But

0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:35.480
<v Speaker 3>it's like the big clock clips. They're so cute. But wait,

0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:37.080
<v Speaker 3>let's go back to Bethany Frank.

0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.960
<v Speaker 1>Bethany Frankel gets on whether it was TikTok. I saw

0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:43.760
<v Speaker 1>it on her Instagram. She's talking about the Kardashians, and

0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.960
<v Speaker 1>she's like, what are we teaching people? Take it all,

0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:51.760
<v Speaker 1>don't stop until it's all yours. If there's a scandal,

0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:56.120
<v Speaker 1>do charity to cover up the plastic surgery? Are we

0:11:56.160 --> 0:12:01.080
<v Speaker 1>teaching like, have plastic surgery until you feel confident. She

0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:03.120
<v Speaker 1>just was on a rampage and you know how she

0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:06.240
<v Speaker 1>goes like, I love Bethany Frankel so much, like there's

0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:08.840
<v Speaker 1>not many people I look up to in this world.

0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:12.800
<v Speaker 1>I look up to her, maybe because it's I watched

0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:15.760
<v Speaker 1>her since the beginning, and just like where she came from,

0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:18.280
<v Speaker 1>what she built, she kept her eye on the prize

0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:23.560
<v Speaker 1>the entire time. She went through a horrific relationship and

0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:26.400
<v Speaker 1>then to top it all off, this is a crisis

0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:29.400
<v Speaker 1>her be strong. It was just like the whole package

0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:32.400
<v Speaker 1>for me is like that. I want that. Yeah, Like

0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.080
<v Speaker 1>I will listen to Bethany Frankel. Right, we've talked about

0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:37.800
<v Speaker 1>this before. If people are giving you advice and they

0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:39.960
<v Speaker 1>don't have what you want, But however, if they're giving

0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:44.360
<v Speaker 1>you advice based on experiences that they've had, listen to

0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:46.800
<v Speaker 1>them as well. Because I remember talking to James and

0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.560
<v Speaker 1>he said to me, why would I listen to you? Like,

0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:51.920
<v Speaker 1>look at where you are, And I'm like, that's why

0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.640
<v Speaker 1>you should listen to me. Right, I'm telling you what

0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:58.760
<v Speaker 1>not to do what I've learned from. Correct, listen to me.

0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:01.719
<v Speaker 1>And by the way, look at the ship I've been

0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.680
<v Speaker 1>through and where I am right now. Listen to me.

0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:08.840
<v Speaker 1>My word is worth gold. You can take that ship

0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:11.040
<v Speaker 1>to the bank, all right, they'll put it in a

0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:15.760
<v Speaker 1>vault for you. It's worth something. Yeah, So listen to me. Yeah,

0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:18.400
<v Speaker 1>because I don't want to waste my precious gold on

0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:20.160
<v Speaker 1>you if you're not gonna listen.

0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.480
<v Speaker 3>You know, it's a shame that we don't have video

0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:26.079
<v Speaker 3>because that's when Lala goes out in her rants and

0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:27.319
<v Speaker 3>the hands start going.

0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.520
<v Speaker 1>That's like, just watch vander Pump and there we see

0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:35.440
<v Speaker 1>what the two fingers go up. Yeah, you shut your

0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:42.000
<v Speaker 1>filthy fucking mouth as kiddy. Yeah, we literally hear that.

0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:46.440
<v Speaker 1>It's the whole thing today that I love her. She

0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:48.760
<v Speaker 1>takes all this sense in the world to me, and

0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:52.600
<v Speaker 1>I think she's hysterical. And she always starts every video

0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:54.839
<v Speaker 1>when she goes on a tangent where it's like, cancel me.

0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:58.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't care. This is what it is, this is

0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.280
<v Speaker 1>how I feel, and it's like I don't don't think

0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:04.199
<v Speaker 1>she ever gets canceled because she's like I don't care. Yeah,

0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.760
<v Speaker 1>and she's like worth a lot of fucking money. Yeah,

0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:07.760
<v Speaker 1>you know that's why.

0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:11.000
<v Speaker 3>And she's so honest and she'll I just love it

0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:13.679
<v Speaker 3>her product reviews. I mean I love it for everything.

0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:16.880
<v Speaker 3>I followed her a while ago, but she does the

0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:19.680
<v Speaker 3>most honest product reviews and she'll say is this worth

0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:20.120
<v Speaker 3>your money?

0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:20.600
<v Speaker 1>Is this not?

0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:22.040
<v Speaker 3>And there are some products that.

0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:25.560
<v Speaker 1>Have been shadow band though for a lot of her reviews. Yeah, yeah,

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:28.680
<v Speaker 1>she talked about it. She's like, I know, Chris Jenner

0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.880
<v Speaker 1>runs the media. I got it. I we're sick of it.

0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:35.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm being water Kardashian waterboarded. We all are. I know.

0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:37.560
<v Speaker 1>Even the media is like, are you fucking kidding me?

0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:41.520
<v Speaker 1>I gotta cover this again, I gotta cover this family again. Yeah.

0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:45.160
<v Speaker 1>But it's like, I want to be a Kardashian, Lisa.

0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:49.000
<v Speaker 1>Start running the fucking media, all right, Helle, trying to

0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:52.880
<v Speaker 1>hit one point eight? All right, come on, really, I

0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:54.960
<v Speaker 1>don't care that much. All I want to do is

0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:56.880
<v Speaker 1>be in the bed and watch Jersey Shore. I know.

0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.920
<v Speaker 1>And Lisa had never seen Game of Thrones before, so

0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:04.080
<v Speaker 1>you're rewatching it with rewatching it, and everyone's like, you

0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:07.040
<v Speaker 1>don't need to watch that to watch house. Is it

0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:09.440
<v Speaker 1>House of the Dragon or House of Dragons? I don't know,

0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:11.440
<v Speaker 1>it's House of the Dragon. I think, okay, well the

0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.680
<v Speaker 1>new one. And I'm like, but you kind of do

0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:16.360
<v Speaker 1>because I think it's about the Targarian it is, and

0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.000
<v Speaker 1>you want to be invested, Like, why do I care

0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:21.560
<v Speaker 1>about these Targarians if I've never seen Game of Thrones. Yeah,

0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:22.560
<v Speaker 1>she's fully.

0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:25.160
<v Speaker 3>Invested, and you are, wait, have you gotten to the

0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:27.920
<v Speaker 3>little Kid? I don't even know what season this was,

0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:31.880
<v Speaker 3>the little boy who's like the tyrant king. Yeah you have.

0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:36.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're waiting for him to die. Okay, Jeffrey Geoffrey, Non.

0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:40.760
<v Speaker 3>Was it Jeoffrey? There's another one? Okay, Okay, I'm not

0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:42.320
<v Speaker 3>gonna say there's another one.

0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:45.280
<v Speaker 1>And he's like trigger playing with your nails. She's she's

0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 1>gonna tell me the story.

0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.920
<v Speaker 3>Wine, there's another one. And all I'm gonna say is

0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:50.960
<v Speaker 3>for the listeners who are like, who's she talking about?

0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.880
<v Speaker 3>Hole in the ground, That's all I'm gonna say.

0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:56.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I don't think we're there. Yeah, okay, I don't know. See,

0:15:56.120 --> 0:16:00.720
<v Speaker 1>I've seen it, but I've kind of forgotten, like I remember, yeah,

0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.520
<v Speaker 1>like the Red Wedding. Yes, don't tell her that's my

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:04.240
<v Speaker 1>next episode.

0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:07.640
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god. Yeah, I'm actually that's great that you

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:09.680
<v Speaker 3>get to experience this with her. That's awesome.

0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.800
<v Speaker 1>I know. Stacy was like, I'm so jealous that you've

0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.000
<v Speaker 1>never experienced it and you're getting to right now. Because

0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:19.320
<v Speaker 1>Stassy's obsessed. Mom, Yeah, no, obsessed. People call her Kalisi

0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:21.080
<v Speaker 1>because she's so obsessed.

0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:26.640
<v Speaker 3>Oh, Kalisi the Dragon Queen, Queen of Dragons, the Mother

0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:28.920
<v Speaker 3>of Dragons, Mother of Dragons, something like that.

0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:34.400
<v Speaker 1>The best show ever. I am really excited as well

0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:39.960
<v Speaker 1>as feeling very very honored because I was asked if

0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:44.440
<v Speaker 1>it was okay, which I was like, beyond okay to

0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:49.280
<v Speaker 1>be honored at the Brent Shapiro Foundation event this year,

0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.680
<v Speaker 1>which for those of you who are not familiar, it

0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:57.480
<v Speaker 1>is Robert Shapiro's and Robert and Linnelle Shapiro's foundation that

0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:02.200
<v Speaker 1>they started. I want to say they said maybe fifteen

0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:07.399
<v Speaker 1>years ago, maybe longer. Okay, they lost their son, drugs

0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:12.200
<v Speaker 1>and alcohol were involved, and so they started this foundation

0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:18.080
<v Speaker 1>where there's an incentive for people to stay sober, okay,

0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:23.080
<v Speaker 1>not pick up, not drink, not use, and they give

0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:27.560
<v Speaker 1>away scholarships. Wow, it's incredible. I have chills just talking

0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:30.240
<v Speaker 1>about it. And they are honoring me this year on

0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:33.520
<v Speaker 1>Saturday for my sobriety.

0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:38.159
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this is so exciting. It's gonna be so beautiful.

0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:45.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, she's got tears in her eyes. Now, how are

0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:46.840
<v Speaker 3>you gonna be when you're giving a speech.

0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:49.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be a sobbing mice I really hope that

0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.320
<v Speaker 1>I can keep it together because you know, these kids

0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:55.399
<v Speaker 1>that have stayed sober, they're getting money to go to

0:17:55.480 --> 0:18:01.080
<v Speaker 1>college and have a bright, right future, and I don't

0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:05.760
<v Speaker 1>think people realize, well, maybe they do. I'm extremely passionate

0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:09.760
<v Speaker 1>about my sobriety. It's the proudest thing I've ever done

0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:14.240
<v Speaker 1>in my whole life. I can be around drinking. I

0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:18.600
<v Speaker 1>can't say that a lot of people that are sober,

0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:21.440
<v Speaker 1>you know, that can be triggering for them. My own

0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:25.879
<v Speaker 1>personal experience, which I'm grateful for, because it's not lost

0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:27.919
<v Speaker 1>on me that sobriety can be taken from you like

0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:30.040
<v Speaker 1>that just by you picking up. You could be sober

0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:32.400
<v Speaker 1>thirty years and it's gone in thirty seconds and you're

0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:37.280
<v Speaker 1>a newcomer again. So I'm extremely I will hit four

0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:39.520
<v Speaker 1>years but again one day at a time on October

0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:43.880
<v Speaker 1>twenty second, and it's just beyond you know. I can

0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:46.280
<v Speaker 1>be around it. I don't feel triggered, and I thank

0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:48.240
<v Speaker 1>God every day because it is one day at a time.

0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:53.040
<v Speaker 1>But it's just it's amazing, and it's not an easy path,

0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:56.639
<v Speaker 1>especially with the environment that I'm in, you know, filming

0:18:56.680 --> 0:19:01.119
<v Speaker 1>a reality TV show. I constantly battle staying true to

0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:05.359
<v Speaker 1>my program and also going into a reality TV space

0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:08.359
<v Speaker 1>where your opinions and your thoughts are heard. They matter,

0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:11.000
<v Speaker 1>But you also want to be soft and delicate. So

0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:15.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm just because you're in the program does not mean

0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:18.680
<v Speaker 1>that you turn into Jesus or you know, the person

0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:21.480
<v Speaker 1>who's turning the other cheek and doing all of those things.

0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:23.919
<v Speaker 1>We're still human. There's still a lot of amends that

0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:27.520
<v Speaker 1>I have to make on a daily basis, and I'm

0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:31.840
<v Speaker 1>okay with that. I am very, very honored to be

0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:38.040
<v Speaker 1>honored this year at the Brent Shapiro Foundation event on Saturday. Yay. Yeah,

0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:40.080
<v Speaker 1>So those of you who have not heard of this,

0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:44.600
<v Speaker 1>please look it up. It's going to be spectacular. It is, Yeah,

0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:47.400
<v Speaker 1>it is, And I have to give a speech. It's

0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:49.960
<v Speaker 1>gonna be great, and it's gonna be thank you Mom,

0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:53.119
<v Speaker 1>and it's gonna be after the kids who you know,

0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:56.760
<v Speaker 1>get their scholarships. I'm gonna be a hot mess.

0:19:57.000 --> 0:20:00.119
<v Speaker 3>But you know what is so amazing is that they

0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:03.320
<v Speaker 3>everyone who works with the branch a Her Foundation is

0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.080
<v Speaker 3>incredible and it's a very small group of people that

0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:10.040
<v Speaker 3>makes huge stuff happen. But they had offered like, hey,

0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:14.240
<v Speaker 3>we'll send you Lalla an outline, and Lalla I was like, yeah,

0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:16.160
<v Speaker 3>let's do that. And Lala was like, you know, I'm

0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:17.720
<v Speaker 3>just gonna go up there and speak from my heart.

0:20:18.040 --> 0:20:20.880
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, I was very taken aback by that,

0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:23.840
<v Speaker 3>because someone like me would be like, give me bullet points.

0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:26.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm reading from a prompter. But you're just gonna hop

0:20:26.440 --> 0:20:28.040
<v Speaker 3>up there and speak from your heart. And I think

0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.960
<v Speaker 3>it's going to be so much more impactful and special.

0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:32.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm very excited for that.

0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm excited too. I am a little nervous though you're

0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:38.080
<v Speaker 1>gonna do, right, I'm very nervous. There's this person also

0:20:38.200 --> 0:20:40.360
<v Speaker 1>that I found on the gram who is fine as

0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:43.080
<v Speaker 1>it gets. His name is Darren Waller. By the way,

0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:45.040
<v Speaker 1>if he has a girlfriend, can you guys just let

0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:48.800
<v Speaker 1>me know she's totally fine disengage. But I'm telling you sober,

0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:53.600
<v Speaker 1>fine tattoos. Yeah my type of dude. I just like

0:20:53.680 --> 0:20:57.800
<v Speaker 1>it all all right from what the gram portrays. Yeah. Yeah,

0:20:58.000 --> 0:20:59.520
<v Speaker 1>But I'm like, how does one get in touch with

0:20:59.560 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 1>this human?

0:21:01.160 --> 0:21:03.879
<v Speaker 3>This is a good Maybe someone will DM you and

0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:06.119
<v Speaker 3>be like hey, I I work with Darren, or I

0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:09.199
<v Speaker 3>wrap him or whatever. He's not very active on the

0:21:09.200 --> 0:21:12.040
<v Speaker 3>ground because I think you mentioned him once. I tried

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:14.400
<v Speaker 3>to cyber stop him and I was like, huh, he's

0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:17.560
<v Speaker 3>not very active on that, or or maybe his people are.

0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:20.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know who knows. If he has a girlfriend,

0:21:20.040 --> 0:21:23.040
<v Speaker 1>he better treat her right. I respect it and good

0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:27.720
<v Speaker 1>for him, good for her too. If not, like where yet,

0:21:28.280 --> 0:21:30.919
<v Speaker 1>where yet? Slid in the DM. I'm very active in

0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:35.320
<v Speaker 1>the DM. You know, come one, come all, No one's safe.

0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:40.400
<v Speaker 1>No one's safe once you pass that PI check. Come one,

0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:44.399
<v Speaker 1>come all into my house. What do you want? I

0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:50.640
<v Speaker 1>don't care. Lay it down, baby. No. He went from

0:21:50.680 --> 0:21:55.800
<v Speaker 1>honoring me at sobriety. So DM, we have a good

0:21:55.800 --> 0:21:59.080
<v Speaker 1>guest today. She slid in my DM. I saw it.

0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:05.040
<v Speaker 1>She wanted to shed light on body dysmorphia BDD is

0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:09.280
<v Speaker 1>what it's called body dysmorphic disorder, and I wanted her

0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:12.000
<v Speaker 1>to shed light Like what she said in her DM,

0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:14.320
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I gotta have you on the podcast.

0:22:14.800 --> 0:22:18.879
<v Speaker 1>Her name is Robin Stern. We are having her on

0:22:18.920 --> 0:22:22.960
<v Speaker 1>the podcast to talk about BDD, which is body dysmorphic disorder.

0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:25.399
<v Speaker 1>I did have people slide in the DM on the

0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:27.439
<v Speaker 1>podcast page and say that I need to start doing

0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:30.800
<v Speaker 1>trigger warnings. I apologize if you've ever listened to one

0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:34.159
<v Speaker 1>of my podcasts and been triggered by it. That was

0:22:34.359 --> 0:22:37.320
<v Speaker 1>never my intention. So going forward, if I have anything

0:22:37.359 --> 0:22:41.160
<v Speaker 1>that I feel is we're deep diving into some deep stuff,

0:22:41.560 --> 0:22:43.560
<v Speaker 1>I will let you know. So here it is. This

0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:48.400
<v Speaker 1>is your trigger warning, my loves, and I hope this helps, right,

0:22:49.000 --> 0:22:56.399
<v Speaker 1>I love you guys. We have Robin Stern up next. First,

0:22:56.680 --> 0:22:59.280
<v Speaker 1>for our listeners, I kind of want them to know

0:22:59.480 --> 0:23:02.440
<v Speaker 1>what it is that you do, Like you slid in

0:23:02.520 --> 0:23:04.479
<v Speaker 1>my DM and said you wanted to talk about some

0:23:04.560 --> 0:23:08.440
<v Speaker 1>things that Obviously it resonated with me because here we are,

0:23:08.800 --> 0:23:11.040
<v Speaker 1>so just kind of break it down for my listeners.

0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:15.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So I am a therapist. I specialize in body

0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:17.680
<v Speaker 2>justs morphic disorder and I do work in New York,

0:23:17.720 --> 0:23:21.879
<v Speaker 2>California or Florida, New Jersey. And I myself have body

0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:25.159
<v Speaker 2>dismorphic disorder and I've struggled with it probably since my lateeens.

0:23:25.160 --> 0:23:28.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm forty two, we'll got to be forty two. And

0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:32.440
<v Speaker 2>so body dysmorphic disorder is a distortion and how one

0:23:32.480 --> 0:23:36.879
<v Speaker 2>sees themselves and they focus on perceived defects in their

0:23:36.880 --> 0:23:39.920
<v Speaker 2>appearance that no one else sees, and it affects them,

0:23:39.960 --> 0:23:42.040
<v Speaker 2>cut to the core of who they are, and it

0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:44.480
<v Speaker 2>makes them hard for them to live life and to

0:23:44.560 --> 0:23:47.960
<v Speaker 2>engage in friendships, and they tend to, you know, want

0:23:48.000 --> 0:23:51.320
<v Speaker 2>to get plastic surgery or cosmetic procedures, but ultimately it

0:23:51.400 --> 0:23:53.840
<v Speaker 2>leads them to feeling very depressed, could leave them to

0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:58.040
<v Speaker 2>using substance abuse. And so yeah, and so this is

0:23:58.119 --> 0:24:00.840
<v Speaker 2>just such an important platform. And I think resonated with

0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:04.360
<v Speaker 2>me with your particular platform as your honesty, and I

0:24:04.440 --> 0:24:08.280
<v Speaker 2>think that as celebrity being honest about whatever it is

0:24:08.320 --> 0:24:10.159
<v Speaker 2>you do. I think people that are vulnerable to that

0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:13.800
<v Speaker 2>really appreciate that, because there's a lot of people that

0:24:14.240 --> 0:24:16.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, are posting and they're acting like I look

0:24:16.320 --> 0:24:19.400
<v Speaker 2>like this out of nowhere, and it's it's very detrimental

0:24:19.440 --> 0:24:21.680
<v Speaker 2>to people that are struggling because they're looking at these

0:24:21.680 --> 0:24:23.760
<v Speaker 2>pictures and they're like, why don't I look this way?

0:24:24.040 --> 0:24:24.159
<v Speaker 3>Right?

0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:27.960
<v Speaker 2>And so I think, you know, I don't tell people

0:24:28.000 --> 0:24:30.119
<v Speaker 2>like you shouldn't filter, you shouldn't do those things. I

0:24:30.160 --> 0:24:31.840
<v Speaker 2>think it's great, but I love like I think you

0:24:31.920 --> 0:24:34.600
<v Speaker 2>posted the other day like like you love the filter,

0:24:34.640 --> 0:24:37.399
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, yes, thank you for being honest, like

0:24:37.600 --> 0:24:41.480
<v Speaker 2>thank you for being real, because clients that come see

0:24:41.520 --> 0:24:45.199
<v Speaker 2>me are devastated when they're looking at pictures and they're like,

0:24:45.280 --> 0:24:47.679
<v Speaker 2>why don't I look this way? Like why can I

0:24:47.760 --> 0:24:51.040
<v Speaker 2>look this way? And it's like they don't look this way.

0:24:51.040 --> 0:24:54.160
<v Speaker 1>Right well, and I feel like it doesn't even you.

0:24:54.160 --> 0:24:56.640
<v Speaker 1>You look at these women who you know, because I've

0:24:56.640 --> 0:24:58.919
<v Speaker 1>even been there where I'm scrolling the gram and I'm like,

0:24:59.040 --> 0:25:02.520
<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, this person is so stunning and it

0:25:02.560 --> 0:25:04.919
<v Speaker 1>looks very natural, and Lord knows that they were in

0:25:04.960 --> 0:25:07.480
<v Speaker 1>all the apps that I'm going into as well. But

0:25:07.560 --> 0:25:09.800
<v Speaker 1>I feel like even those people that have the stunning

0:25:09.880 --> 0:25:13.679
<v Speaker 1>photos are looking at other people's instagrams thinking the exact

0:25:13.760 --> 0:25:14.320
<v Speaker 1>same thing.

0:25:14.760 --> 0:25:17.840
<v Speaker 3>It's so funny. We were just talking about this, just

0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:21.679
<v Speaker 3>the harm that it does when people aren't honest. Do

0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:25.960
<v Speaker 3>you think it affects young people when they're just starting

0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:30.160
<v Speaker 3>to get on socials a little more than more mature people,

0:25:30.280 --> 0:25:32.200
<v Speaker 3>or it kind of affects everyone differently.

0:25:32.480 --> 0:25:35.000
<v Speaker 2>I definitely think the young people are more aware that

0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:37.520
<v Speaker 2>I do think there's a sense of when you're younger,

0:25:37.560 --> 0:25:40.760
<v Speaker 2>your appearance does impact how you see yourself in relation

0:25:40.840 --> 0:25:43.040
<v Speaker 2>to other people, but I think it affects all people

0:25:43.040 --> 0:25:45.680
<v Speaker 2>across the board, and I think it's just again, I'm

0:25:45.680 --> 0:25:47.840
<v Speaker 2>all about like looking good and if you want to

0:25:47.960 --> 0:25:50.480
<v Speaker 2>use those filters in grit, but I think the honesty

0:25:50.560 --> 0:25:53.080
<v Speaker 2>has to be there, and I think there's so little

0:25:53.119 --> 0:25:56.440
<v Speaker 2>honesty with that and it's so detrimental. I mean, what's

0:25:56.440 --> 0:25:59.080
<v Speaker 2>scary about this disorder is that one in four people

0:25:59.080 --> 0:26:02.600
<v Speaker 2>attempt suicide and eighty percent of people have suicidal ideation.

0:26:02.840 --> 0:26:06.000
<v Speaker 2>And that's severe. Like we're talking and this is a

0:26:06.080 --> 0:26:09.840
<v Speaker 2>diagnosis that most people don't talk about, Like I didn't

0:26:09.840 --> 0:26:13.239
<v Speaker 2>talk about it, like I didn't know about it. I

0:26:13.320 --> 0:26:16.639
<v Speaker 2>literally walked through like my college life like I'm just ugly,

0:26:16.720 --> 0:26:19.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm just gross, like I don't deserve to be alive.

0:26:19.240 --> 0:26:21.440
<v Speaker 2>And this is how it felt. And this is before

0:26:21.800 --> 0:26:24.960
<v Speaker 2>social media, right, so this is just like I so honestly,

0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:29.800
<v Speaker 2>I can't even imagine what kids now who have access

0:26:29.840 --> 0:26:33.119
<v Speaker 2>to all of this, what they feel like it's just

0:26:33.160 --> 0:26:37.040
<v Speaker 2>a lot of pressure. Ironically, living in LA didn't feel pressure.

0:26:37.080 --> 0:26:39.200
<v Speaker 2>I can't explain that. I don't know if it's because

0:26:39.480 --> 0:26:41.399
<v Speaker 2>and I lived like in West Hollywood. I don't know

0:26:41.480 --> 0:26:44.840
<v Speaker 2>if it's just a little bit different living there versus

0:26:44.880 --> 0:26:48.240
<v Speaker 2>what people put on social media. But yeah, I do

0:26:48.320 --> 0:26:50.840
<v Speaker 2>think it affects kids, and I think it affects them

0:26:50.880 --> 0:26:54.199
<v Speaker 2>wanting to get work done earlier, and this notion of

0:26:54.320 --> 0:26:57.840
<v Speaker 2>like I need to look perfect or look fake to

0:26:58.000 --> 0:26:59.640
<v Speaker 2>be happy and okay.

0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:03.000
<v Speaker 3>Member a time when you were younger that you maybe

0:27:03.040 --> 0:27:06.040
<v Speaker 3>felt okay and there was a specific time where you're like,

0:27:06.080 --> 0:27:09.199
<v Speaker 3>wait a second, I'm somebody made fun of you or anything.

0:27:09.240 --> 0:27:10.560
<v Speaker 3>Do you remember that moment?

0:27:10.840 --> 0:27:11.680
<v Speaker 1>What was that moment?

0:27:11.880 --> 0:27:13.959
<v Speaker 2>So for me, it's funny. I got the diagnosis when

0:27:14.000 --> 0:27:15.879
<v Speaker 2>I was twenty two, but I was bullied since the

0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:19.040
<v Speaker 2>age of nine. I have curly hair, I'm Jewish, and

0:27:19.359 --> 0:27:21.240
<v Speaker 2>when I was younger, people made front of my hair

0:27:21.400 --> 0:27:24.159
<v Speaker 2>every single day. And what was crazy was that it

0:27:24.200 --> 0:27:27.399
<v Speaker 2>was a group of eight girls that were my best friends.

0:27:27.800 --> 0:27:30.080
<v Speaker 2>So it's like one thing to be bullied, but it's

0:27:30.080 --> 0:27:32.720
<v Speaker 2>like another thing. It's like when your girls are bullying you,

0:27:33.280 --> 0:27:36.479
<v Speaker 2>and it was like it was just at that point.

0:27:36.600 --> 0:27:38.960
<v Speaker 2>I think it's just I always talk as a therapist

0:27:39.080 --> 0:27:41.919
<v Speaker 2>like your formative years, right, so being like a twelve

0:27:42.040 --> 0:27:44.119
<v Speaker 2>year old and you're trying to figure out who you

0:27:44.160 --> 0:27:47.360
<v Speaker 2>are in relation to other people. And your friends are like,

0:27:47.520 --> 0:27:50.159
<v Speaker 2>you're not good enough, Like my friends went and they

0:27:50.160 --> 0:27:52.320
<v Speaker 2>would make fun of me. Every day at lunch, I

0:27:52.359 --> 0:27:54.880
<v Speaker 2>would go to the nurse's office, like they didn't even

0:27:54.920 --> 0:27:56.920
<v Speaker 2>pick it up. At school, I was getting like twenties

0:27:56.960 --> 0:28:00.320
<v Speaker 2>on tests, like they didn't figure it out. And then

0:28:00.400 --> 0:28:02.119
<v Speaker 2>like they would go to ice skating lessons and they

0:28:02.160 --> 0:28:06.080
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't include me, And it really took a toll. And

0:28:06.160 --> 0:28:08.679
<v Speaker 2>at that point I didn't know until years later, like

0:28:08.840 --> 0:28:10.800
<v Speaker 2>I did feel different. I was like, they don't want

0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:12.760
<v Speaker 2>to hang out with me because of my hair, so

0:28:12.800 --> 0:28:16.080
<v Speaker 2>then there's something wrong with me. And ironically that wasn't

0:28:16.119 --> 0:28:19.280
<v Speaker 2>the issue that became the focus of my BBB. But

0:28:19.359 --> 0:28:22.080
<v Speaker 2>I do believe that that was an experience where all

0:28:22.119 --> 0:28:24.439
<v Speaker 2>of a sudden, I went from feeling like this happy

0:28:24.480 --> 0:28:28.240
<v Speaker 2>little girl to this girl that like shouldn't even be here.

0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:30.960
<v Speaker 2>And I grew up in a family that like loved me,

0:28:31.119 --> 0:28:33.240
<v Speaker 2>and there was definitely a lot of focus on appearance,

0:28:33.880 --> 0:28:35.840
<v Speaker 2>but it was like I was accepted and then all

0:28:35.880 --> 0:28:39.120
<v Speaker 2>of a sudden, like just rejected and not rejected on

0:28:39.360 --> 0:28:42.120
<v Speaker 2>rejected based upon how it looked, you know, growing up

0:28:42.160 --> 0:28:43.760
<v Speaker 2>on Long Islands. I don't know if you know anything

0:28:43.800 --> 0:28:46.760
<v Speaker 2>about that in New York, it's like it's next. It's

0:28:46.760 --> 0:28:48.480
<v Speaker 2>like almost as bad as well. It's like NXT.

0:28:49.280 --> 0:28:54.440
<v Speaker 1>I really like it's very much about the outer appearance.

0:28:54.680 --> 0:28:58.400
<v Speaker 2>It's like keeping up with the Joneses. It's like ridiculous.

0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:01.920
<v Speaker 2>It is a Now you know, I'm a single mom,

0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:03.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm having two and a half year old boy, and

0:29:03.360 --> 0:29:05.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I need to get out of here, Like

0:29:05.240 --> 0:29:08.360
<v Speaker 2>I do not want to raise my kid in this obviously,

0:29:08.480 --> 0:29:10.520
<v Speaker 2>I'll be honest, I have a little PTSD. I'm in

0:29:10.560 --> 0:29:13.960
<v Speaker 2>my hometown, so like being back here is like very

0:29:14.040 --> 0:29:16.640
<v Speaker 2>surreal for me. I lives in LA for eleven years,

0:29:16.680 --> 0:29:18.680
<v Speaker 2>and so the idea of him going to the schools

0:29:18.680 --> 0:29:22.000
<v Speaker 2>that I went to. I definitely work through it in therapy,

0:29:22.120 --> 0:29:24.360
<v Speaker 2>but it's still very like it's triggering.

0:29:24.720 --> 0:29:28.640
<v Speaker 1>Yes, anything that that when people say that they're triggered,

0:29:28.680 --> 0:29:31.360
<v Speaker 1>it means that you're taking them back to a place

0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:35.800
<v Speaker 1>that they've been before that was not a happy experience

0:29:35.880 --> 0:29:38.160
<v Speaker 1>or moment, and those moments are hard to work through.

0:29:38.240 --> 0:29:40.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, even me at the age of thirty two,

0:29:40.080 --> 0:29:44.120
<v Speaker 1>there are still things that you know, I remember from

0:29:44.120 --> 0:29:46.680
<v Speaker 1>a child that people would make fun of, where it's

0:29:46.720 --> 0:29:50.200
<v Speaker 1>like I even though yes I'm older now and I've

0:29:50.280 --> 0:29:53.800
<v Speaker 1>learned to love every part of me, there are things

0:29:53.840 --> 0:29:56.040
<v Speaker 1>that happen sometimes where I'm like, this is taking me

0:29:56.080 --> 0:29:58.120
<v Speaker 1>back to a place that is way too familiar and

0:29:58.200 --> 0:29:58.960
<v Speaker 1>not enjoyable.

0:29:59.120 --> 0:30:02.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, so it's it's hard. I mean, and

0:30:02.880 --> 0:30:05.440
<v Speaker 2>and you asked that question. And honestly, they never asked

0:30:05.480 --> 0:30:07.720
<v Speaker 2>that question when I was diagnosed, and so that was

0:30:07.840 --> 0:30:10.120
<v Speaker 2>never important for them to I always say, like hear

0:30:10.200 --> 0:30:12.400
<v Speaker 2>my story. It was never important for them to know

0:30:12.520 --> 0:30:14.760
<v Speaker 2>my story. They just were like you have buy it's

0:30:14.800 --> 0:30:17.800
<v Speaker 2>warm for a disorder. They didn't necessarily tie it back

0:30:18.360 --> 0:30:21.840
<v Speaker 2>to like what possibly could have caused it. There is

0:30:21.920 --> 0:30:25.120
<v Speaker 2>genetic components to it, but definitely being bullied like that

0:30:25.240 --> 0:30:28.360
<v Speaker 2>and because of my appearance, and it was in multiple areas,

0:30:28.400 --> 0:30:30.960
<v Speaker 2>like it was in Sleepway Camp. It was like five

0:30:31.040 --> 0:30:33.280
<v Speaker 2>boys at first, and then it was again when you're

0:30:33.400 --> 0:30:38.400
<v Speaker 2>close friends do that too. It's I can't. I still

0:30:38.400 --> 0:30:40.480
<v Speaker 2>struggle with it today. I'll be honest, I have a

0:30:40.600 --> 0:30:43.760
<v Speaker 2>very hard time keeping female friendships. And I know what

0:30:44.280 --> 0:30:47.160
<v Speaker 2>like I you know, they were my friends, they were

0:30:47.160 --> 0:30:49.280
<v Speaker 2>my best friends. And what's messed up is like I

0:30:49.360 --> 0:30:52.160
<v Speaker 2>hung out with them after I confronted them, Like, so

0:30:52.200 --> 0:30:54.760
<v Speaker 2>I stayed close with like my bullies.

0:30:54.760 --> 0:30:57.560
<v Speaker 1>Right, they were your safe place and they were like

0:30:57.800 --> 0:31:01.840
<v Speaker 1>ultimately like your your mental abuse users. And that happens

0:31:01.840 --> 0:31:06.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot where people are, you know, whatever type of

0:31:06.120 --> 0:31:10.479
<v Speaker 1>abuse they're experiencing, they become comfortable in that situation and

0:31:10.520 --> 0:31:11.880
<v Speaker 1>that's why you stick around.

0:31:12.200 --> 0:31:14.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I will say I wish my therapist would

0:31:14.760 --> 0:31:16.800
<v Speaker 2>have worked on that because it ended up trickling into

0:31:16.800 --> 0:31:20.400
<v Speaker 2>my adult life with every man that I dated that

0:31:20.520 --> 0:31:24.720
<v Speaker 2>ended up being toxic like no other. So I also

0:31:24.840 --> 0:31:28.560
<v Speaker 2>related to you there been there, done that with the narcissist,

0:31:29.240 --> 0:31:32.320
<v Speaker 2>and it's a lot of that was because I didn't

0:31:32.320 --> 0:31:35.600
<v Speaker 2>feel worth it. And I'm still struggling with that, you know,

0:31:35.880 --> 0:31:38.800
<v Speaker 2>like what I lost not only to disorder, but like

0:31:39.200 --> 0:31:42.760
<v Speaker 2>how even in my recovery, like what the typical treatment is,

0:31:42.800 --> 0:31:46.040
<v Speaker 2>which is like not engaging in mirror checking and not

0:31:46.160 --> 0:31:49.400
<v Speaker 2>engaging and like getting cosmetic procedures, but they didn't like

0:31:49.480 --> 0:31:52.560
<v Speaker 2>help me like figure out like it's okay to be

0:31:52.720 --> 0:31:55.080
<v Speaker 2>me and like to love myself. And so what ended

0:31:55.160 --> 0:31:58.960
<v Speaker 2>up happening was I ended up not like not being

0:31:58.960 --> 0:32:01.040
<v Speaker 2>able to truly love myself and then I ended up

0:32:01.200 --> 0:32:03.880
<v Speaker 2>attracting like the worst of the worst.

0:32:03.960 --> 0:32:07.719
<v Speaker 1>Right, it trickles into every aspect of your life. So

0:32:07.760 --> 0:32:11.920
<v Speaker 1>then how how does someone know if they have BDD?

0:32:12.200 --> 0:32:15.480
<v Speaker 1>Because like, Lord knows, I love me some injections, love

0:32:15.520 --> 0:32:18.440
<v Speaker 1>the boattos, give me a little lip, But like I

0:32:18.440 --> 0:32:20.840
<v Speaker 1>feel like I dig myself. You know, I've grown out

0:32:20.880 --> 0:32:22.720
<v Speaker 1>of a lot of my insecurities where I'm like, you

0:32:22.760 --> 0:32:24.680
<v Speaker 1>know what, it works, and I'm going to be grateful

0:32:24.720 --> 0:32:27.280
<v Speaker 1>for it, but I do like my ear. I could

0:32:27.280 --> 0:32:30.760
<v Speaker 1>not get past the ear. I've been subconscious about it

0:32:30.800 --> 0:32:32.920
<v Speaker 1>since I was a child, and I knew that there

0:32:32.960 --> 0:32:34.480
<v Speaker 1>was something I could do about it, so I went

0:32:34.520 --> 0:32:36.800
<v Speaker 1>and fixed it. But at what point do you say, Okay,

0:32:37.200 --> 0:32:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I have body dysmorphic disorder, or like I just want

0:32:41.360 --> 0:32:44.560
<v Speaker 1>a little thing to amp up what I already got,

0:32:44.760 --> 0:32:46.760
<v Speaker 1>Like where's where's the line.

0:32:46.400 --> 0:32:48.400
<v Speaker 3>That is such a I was thinking that too, because

0:32:48.440 --> 0:32:50.880
<v Speaker 3>it's like I feel like most of my friends growing up,

0:32:50.920 --> 0:32:54.840
<v Speaker 3>including myself, we all picked apart ourselves constantly. But at

0:32:54.840 --> 0:32:58.480
<v Speaker 3>this point in time, I definitely don't think I have BDD,

0:32:58.640 --> 0:33:01.840
<v Speaker 3>and I'm sure people who might say, oh I have,

0:33:02.000 --> 0:33:05.480
<v Speaker 3>It's like the OCD you know, and the people who go, oh,

0:33:05.520 --> 0:33:08.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm the OCD went to one, you're not.

0:33:09.200 --> 0:33:11.880
<v Speaker 2>It makes me nuts as somebody who has had like

0:33:12.000 --> 0:33:14.880
<v Speaker 2>four medical leaves. I had to miss my first semester

0:33:14.960 --> 0:33:17.600
<v Speaker 2>of my senior of college, like I couldn't leave my house.

0:33:17.760 --> 0:33:20.320
<v Speaker 2>So like that drives me nuts. But I think what

0:33:20.480 --> 0:33:24.320
<v Speaker 2>to say is so example, someone let's say, who likes

0:33:24.320 --> 0:33:27.160
<v Speaker 2>to get those that stuff done like photops or Fellers,

0:33:27.160 --> 0:33:29.840
<v Speaker 2>that's great, but person with B to D feels like

0:33:30.360 --> 0:33:32.520
<v Speaker 2>if I need to get it done for me to

0:33:32.560 --> 0:33:35.600
<v Speaker 2>be okay in this world or otherwise like I can't function,

0:33:36.240 --> 0:33:38.520
<v Speaker 2>I am not okay, like no one's gonna love me.

0:33:38.960 --> 0:33:42.040
<v Speaker 2>I am Like the core belief is like I am defective,

0:33:42.520 --> 0:33:46.000
<v Speaker 2>I am disgusting, I am worthless, and only if I

0:33:46.080 --> 0:33:48.520
<v Speaker 2>get those things done then I'm going to be okay.

0:33:49.000 --> 0:33:52.600
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's where like, yes, I think they

0:33:52.680 --> 0:33:55.360
<v Speaker 2>use this word like body dysmorphia and it's really not

0:33:55.600 --> 0:33:57.480
<v Speaker 2>the real word, but it's the same thing as saying

0:33:57.520 --> 0:34:00.600
<v Speaker 2>like you're a little OCD. It's more related to body

0:34:00.640 --> 0:34:03.680
<v Speaker 2>image issues, right, But when you're looking at the true disorder,

0:34:03.920 --> 0:34:06.760
<v Speaker 2>you're looking how does it disrupt functioning? So that's where

0:34:06.800 --> 0:34:09.920
<v Speaker 2>the difference is. You may not love what you look like,

0:34:09.960 --> 0:34:12.239
<v Speaker 2>but it's like okay, for instance, like you know, you

0:34:12.280 --> 0:34:14.600
<v Speaker 2>may not have loved your ear, but was it like

0:34:14.800 --> 0:34:18.040
<v Speaker 2>stopping you from like making friends or going out or

0:34:18.120 --> 0:34:20.600
<v Speaker 2>living your life? And now there's a continuum, you know

0:34:20.640 --> 0:34:23.200
<v Speaker 2>with people with BDD, there's some people that literally are

0:34:23.200 --> 0:34:26.759
<v Speaker 2>housebound they can't leave, and then there's people that can

0:34:26.760 --> 0:34:29.240
<v Speaker 2>function that like are thinking about it twenty four seven.

0:34:29.520 --> 0:34:31.680
<v Speaker 2>But the ultimate thing is most of them kind of

0:34:31.840 --> 0:34:33.719
<v Speaker 2>will resonate with this notion of like when I get

0:34:33.719 --> 0:34:36.600
<v Speaker 2>these procedures done, like I'm going to be okay. Like

0:34:36.640 --> 0:34:39.480
<v Speaker 2>I had a former client, like his notion this is

0:34:39.520 --> 0:34:42.560
<v Speaker 2>before he saw me. He went and got a nose job,

0:34:42.719 --> 0:34:44.239
<v Speaker 2>and in his mind he's like, I'm going to be

0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:46.920
<v Speaker 2>famous after like my life's going to be so different.

0:34:47.000 --> 0:34:49.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be this other person. And I'm like, okay,

0:34:49.320 --> 0:34:51.479
<v Speaker 2>if that's what you think you're going to get from,

0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:54.960
<v Speaker 2>like whatever procedure, we need to look at that, like

0:34:55.000 --> 0:34:57.799
<v Speaker 2>if you think you're going to become a totally different individual,

0:34:58.360 --> 0:35:00.719
<v Speaker 2>Because I hear this all the time, like oh, with

0:35:00.800 --> 0:35:03.080
<v Speaker 2>all these people, the Kardashi, and they must have BEDD

0:35:03.160 --> 0:35:06.040
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, no, they don't like no, And I'll

0:35:06.040 --> 0:35:09.320
<v Speaker 2>tell you why because I don't. I was literally catching

0:35:09.400 --> 0:35:11.040
<v Speaker 2>up because you got me into like catching up with

0:35:11.080 --> 0:35:13.960
<v Speaker 2>these old shows. What I've never watched them, and I'm

0:35:13.960 --> 0:35:17.760
<v Speaker 2>watching like crti astually one and I'm like, wow, Chloe

0:35:17.800 --> 0:35:20.719
<v Speaker 2>looks so different and power to her like I'm all

0:35:20.760 --> 0:35:24.280
<v Speaker 2>about doing you. But I'm like, let's keep the narrative

0:35:24.400 --> 0:35:27.000
<v Speaker 2>like real and that's it again. But I totally reside.

0:35:27.320 --> 0:35:31.080
<v Speaker 2>So the difference is someone with BDD wouldn't feel comfortable

0:35:31.080 --> 0:35:35.279
<v Speaker 2>probably one being on television, and two wouldn't probably go

0:35:35.480 --> 0:35:38.040
<v Speaker 2>back to the places where they've been where they looked

0:35:38.120 --> 0:35:41.040
<v Speaker 2>completely different. So she, like it, tends and goes to

0:35:41.080 --> 0:35:42.840
<v Speaker 2>every place she's been to when she looks like a

0:35:42.840 --> 0:35:45.719
<v Speaker 2>completely different person ten to fifteen years ago as she

0:35:45.840 --> 0:35:49.879
<v Speaker 2>goes to today. So I think, you know, how would

0:35:49.920 --> 0:35:52.400
<v Speaker 2>you really tell the difference between someone with BDD and

0:35:52.840 --> 0:35:56.600
<v Speaker 2>just body image issues? Do they like I hate to say,

0:35:56.680 --> 0:35:59.920
<v Speaker 2>like really hate themselves? Do they feel defective? That was

0:36:00.200 --> 0:36:03.680
<v Speaker 2>huge thing with me, Like I felt de effective, like

0:36:03.960 --> 0:36:06.040
<v Speaker 2>to the core to the core of who I was.

0:36:06.400 --> 0:36:10.720
<v Speaker 2>It made no logical sense. I mean, it was horrible

0:36:10.760 --> 0:36:13.880
<v Speaker 2>and truthfully, you know, this notion For me, it was

0:36:13.920 --> 0:36:15.759
<v Speaker 2>my skin. So this notion of like if I had

0:36:15.800 --> 0:36:18.640
<v Speaker 2>clear skin, like like I was like, i'll have a boyfriend,

0:36:18.719 --> 0:36:21.680
<v Speaker 2>I'll have this all my best life, Like skin isn't

0:36:21.719 --> 0:36:24.279
<v Speaker 2>supposed to give you that. That's not to say you

0:36:24.360 --> 0:36:27.359
<v Speaker 2>don't people with BDD shouldn't take care of themselves, but

0:36:27.520 --> 0:36:29.799
<v Speaker 2>none of your physical attributes should be able to give

0:36:29.800 --> 0:36:31.600
<v Speaker 2>you the quality of life that you think it's going

0:36:31.680 --> 0:36:34.359
<v Speaker 2>to be. And that's I think the biggest difference. And

0:36:34.400 --> 0:36:37.280
<v Speaker 2>again why I respect your platform. It's like you're honest,

0:36:37.400 --> 0:36:40.239
<v Speaker 2>like you're taking us in with you to get good.

0:36:40.719 --> 0:36:43.160
<v Speaker 2>But there's so many people that are not honest. And

0:36:43.200 --> 0:36:46.160
<v Speaker 2>I get privacy and I respect that. I do, I

0:36:46.320 --> 0:36:49.520
<v Speaker 2>understand that, but I think as you know, matter as

0:36:49.520 --> 0:36:51.840
<v Speaker 2>a public figure, it's like people are looking to you

0:36:52.480 --> 0:36:54.840
<v Speaker 2>and they're like they're like you know, and if you

0:36:54.880 --> 0:36:57.680
<v Speaker 2>have people being like no, like I got nothing done,

0:36:58.080 --> 0:37:00.959
<v Speaker 2>like nothing done, and I'm just like really, like there's

0:37:00.960 --> 0:37:03.960
<v Speaker 2>only so much like filters and stuff that's good, you

0:37:04.000 --> 0:37:06.920
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean. But it's like, you know, my

0:37:07.040 --> 0:37:10.520
<v Speaker 2>message is never about not getting things done, it's about understanding,

0:37:10.840 --> 0:37:13.399
<v Speaker 2>Like for people with BDD, like they're looking at people

0:37:13.440 --> 0:37:15.279
<v Speaker 2>and thinking like they're supposed to wake up and look

0:37:15.320 --> 0:37:19.680
<v Speaker 2>this way, right, and and that you know, the message

0:37:19.719 --> 0:37:22.640
<v Speaker 2>is like I've gotten like you know, even Jlow, like

0:37:22.760 --> 0:37:26.120
<v Speaker 2>I mean I love like you know what's like you know,

0:37:26.239 --> 0:37:28.680
<v Speaker 2>whether she has or has And it's like people think like,

0:37:28.719 --> 0:37:30.680
<v Speaker 2>oh so if I put all of oil on my face,

0:37:30.760 --> 0:37:34.640
<v Speaker 2>like I'm gonna get botox. I mean okay, Like and again,

0:37:34.680 --> 0:37:36.279
<v Speaker 2>I think when you go back to what people with

0:37:36.360 --> 0:37:40.520
<v Speaker 2>BDD really struggle with, they just they feel different. They

0:37:40.520 --> 0:37:44.000
<v Speaker 2>feel like almost like a monster. They don't feel like

0:37:44.080 --> 0:37:46.120
<v Speaker 2>I used to just feel like I just didn't look

0:37:46.160 --> 0:37:48.360
<v Speaker 2>like everybody else like and I don't mean that like

0:37:48.400 --> 0:37:50.279
<v Speaker 2>in a way that like we all look different, Like

0:37:50.360 --> 0:37:52.640
<v Speaker 2>I literally just felt like so like.

0:37:52.719 --> 0:37:55.000
<v Speaker 1>Odd, Yeah, you felt just out of place, like you

0:37:55.040 --> 0:38:00.799
<v Speaker 1>didn't belong. I can't even image and where you would

0:38:00.840 --> 0:38:04.480
<v Speaker 1>start with someone who has like I guess it would

0:38:04.520 --> 0:38:07.440
<v Speaker 1>be like self loathing, like doesn't feel good enough, nothing

0:38:07.560 --> 0:38:09.759
<v Speaker 1>is good. They think things will fix them if they

0:38:09.760 --> 0:38:11.880
<v Speaker 1>get a little boat box or filler, but it's it's

0:38:11.960 --> 0:38:15.239
<v Speaker 1>obviously an internal thing that they're battling. How do you

0:38:15.360 --> 0:38:16.920
<v Speaker 1>bring someone out of that well.

0:38:16.960 --> 0:38:20.319
<v Speaker 2>I always, especially with my narrative, my personal story, I'll

0:38:20.320 --> 0:38:22.920
<v Speaker 2>always kind of go back to that initially and be like, look,

0:38:23.000 --> 0:38:25.640
<v Speaker 2>I've been where you've been, so let's try to build

0:38:25.640 --> 0:38:28.000
<v Speaker 2>that rapport and trust that and then kind of bring

0:38:28.080 --> 0:38:31.800
<v Speaker 2>back to you have this disorder. And out of UCLA

0:38:31.800 --> 0:38:35.200
<v Speaker 2>they've done like MRI studies, So actually, my brain lights

0:38:35.239 --> 0:38:37.600
<v Speaker 2>up differently, let's say, than your brains because you don't

0:38:37.640 --> 0:38:39.920
<v Speaker 2>have it. And so what they've seen and the research

0:38:40.000 --> 0:38:43.839
<v Speaker 2>is people with med their spatial processing is different, so

0:38:43.960 --> 0:38:46.719
<v Speaker 2>how they interpret their image is different than somebody that

0:38:46.800 --> 0:38:48.440
<v Speaker 2>doesn't have it. So I give them a lot of

0:38:48.480 --> 0:38:51.919
<v Speaker 2>psycho education about what this disorder is. I also try

0:38:51.960 --> 0:38:55.520
<v Speaker 2>to tell them, look, if what your concerns are are

0:38:55.560 --> 0:38:58.879
<v Speaker 2>real and valid, you wouldn't meet criteria for the diagnosis.

0:38:58.920 --> 0:39:02.239
<v Speaker 2>And I mean that, of course, it's could be, you know,

0:39:02.320 --> 0:39:05.120
<v Speaker 2>feel detrimental when someone has sistic acne all over their

0:39:05.120 --> 0:39:08.120
<v Speaker 2>face or if they have some birth defects, it can

0:39:08.120 --> 0:39:10.000
<v Speaker 2>take a toll on how they feel mentally and how

0:39:10.040 --> 0:39:12.840
<v Speaker 2>they navigate through the world. But in the same respect,

0:39:12.920 --> 0:39:15.520
<v Speaker 2>if the person is staring at me and there's nothing

0:39:15.640 --> 0:39:18.200
<v Speaker 2>going on, then I'm like, you need criteria for this

0:39:18.280 --> 0:39:22.080
<v Speaker 2>disorder because it's a perception of a small or non

0:39:22.080 --> 0:39:26.000
<v Speaker 2>existent defect that nobody sees, right, So it's like they

0:39:26.040 --> 0:39:28.880
<v Speaker 2>say it, but nobody else does. So we start there

0:39:29.120 --> 0:39:31.520
<v Speaker 2>and then we start to pull away the layers. And

0:39:32.040 --> 0:39:34.959
<v Speaker 2>I think the hardest part is that most people, both

0:39:34.960 --> 0:39:36.360
<v Speaker 2>of you, I'm sure, know what it is that you

0:39:36.480 --> 0:39:40.360
<v Speaker 2>look like, and people with BBB they're not going to.

0:39:41.000 --> 0:39:43.480
<v Speaker 2>And that is a hard thing that you have to

0:39:43.520 --> 0:39:45.920
<v Speaker 2>tell people. Even myself, like I've come to terms with

0:39:46.600 --> 0:39:48.279
<v Speaker 2>don't really know what it is that I look like.

0:39:48.719 --> 0:39:50.479
<v Speaker 2>And I have to kind of sit with that because

0:39:50.520 --> 0:39:53.040
<v Speaker 2>if I go back to like where I was, where

0:39:53.040 --> 0:39:54.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like going in and out of the mirror

0:39:54.640 --> 0:39:56.279
<v Speaker 2>wanting to look a certain way, like I had no

0:39:56.360 --> 0:39:59.040
<v Speaker 2>quality of life. And so I have to kind of

0:39:59.080 --> 0:40:02.920
<v Speaker 2>tell clients like we need to make your parents can matter,

0:40:03.200 --> 0:40:04.799
<v Speaker 2>but it also can't be your.

0:40:04.719 --> 0:40:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Focus can't be the end all be all right, So.

0:40:07.040 --> 0:40:08.920
<v Speaker 2>It has to be like like you're a good friend,

0:40:09.000 --> 0:40:11.480
<v Speaker 2>you're a good mother, like you know, if like you're

0:40:11.520 --> 0:40:14.640
<v Speaker 2>a good son, like student with all these other attributes,

0:40:14.920 --> 0:40:18.320
<v Speaker 2>and nine times out of ten, if not really tenants

0:40:18.400 --> 0:40:21.080
<v Speaker 2>and every client that comes in ninety percent of their

0:40:21.160 --> 0:40:24.480
<v Speaker 2>value and worth is their appearance. So you start off

0:40:24.640 --> 0:40:28.480
<v Speaker 2>with like you have nothing like to work like you

0:40:28.520 --> 0:40:30.880
<v Speaker 2>really there's some people have zero insight. They'll come in

0:40:30.920 --> 0:40:33.440
<v Speaker 2>and be like no, like don't you know, Robin, Like

0:40:33.680 --> 0:40:35.400
<v Speaker 2>if I have a bad hair day, like how do

0:40:35.440 --> 0:40:37.920
<v Speaker 2>you go out? I'm like, no, that's not like a

0:40:38.040 --> 0:40:41.080
<v Speaker 2>normal thing. Do you understand that? Like you can have

0:40:41.120 --> 0:40:43.000
<v Speaker 2>a bad hair day, but like you still have to

0:40:43.040 --> 0:40:46.759
<v Speaker 2>function like your hair. Like I remember with my skin,

0:40:46.880 --> 0:40:49.319
<v Speaker 2>like my dot, my therapist would be like, Robin, that's

0:40:49.360 --> 0:40:51.680
<v Speaker 2>not what skin was designed. Skin was not designed for

0:40:51.719 --> 0:40:53.920
<v Speaker 2>it to be clear. Like my thing was like acne

0:40:54.200 --> 0:40:57.160
<v Speaker 2>and you know obviously as I got older, like it

0:40:57.200 --> 0:40:59.520
<v Speaker 2>was like fine lines and stuff like that, and my

0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:02.120
<v Speaker 2>thing was what my therapist was like, it's not supposed

0:41:02.120 --> 0:41:04.799
<v Speaker 2>to be designed to be clear, Like you've placed that

0:41:05.000 --> 0:41:08.160
<v Speaker 2>attribute on that. But your skin is just the largest

0:41:08.239 --> 0:41:11.280
<v Speaker 2>organ of your body that's protecting you. Like people place

0:41:11.640 --> 0:41:15.000
<v Speaker 2>with BDD like like a power and a relationship on

0:41:15.040 --> 0:41:19.600
<v Speaker 2>their appearance part and no one's supposed to have it.

0:41:19.640 --> 0:41:21.959
<v Speaker 2>And we start there and we start to remove because

0:41:22.000 --> 0:41:25.480
<v Speaker 2>oftentimes there's behaviors they're asking for reassurance they're doing a

0:41:25.520 --> 0:41:27.360
<v Speaker 2>ton of checking, so they'll go in and out of

0:41:27.400 --> 0:41:30.120
<v Speaker 2>the mirror. They'll take like three hundred selfies in like

0:41:30.160 --> 0:41:34.640
<v Speaker 2>twenty minutes. They'll do like videos of themselves, they'll avoid

0:41:34.719 --> 0:41:38.120
<v Speaker 2>going out in bright lights, they'll do a lot of camouflage.

0:41:38.160 --> 0:41:40.640
<v Speaker 2>And there's so many different behaviors. So we start to

0:41:40.680 --> 0:41:43.600
<v Speaker 2>remove some of the behaviors. The thoughts are very hard,

0:41:44.160 --> 0:41:47.439
<v Speaker 2>you know, the thoughts of because usually what it tends

0:41:47.480 --> 0:41:50.560
<v Speaker 2>to happen is as you move the appearance concern a way,

0:41:50.920 --> 0:41:53.880
<v Speaker 2>you really are left with that. They feel horrible as even.

0:41:53.760 --> 0:41:59.080
<v Speaker 3>Being it sounds like BDD, it's accompanied by other things

0:41:59.080 --> 0:42:01.719
<v Speaker 3>a lot of times or not it's OCD, because when

0:42:01.760 --> 0:42:04.360
<v Speaker 3>you say things like taking three hundred selfies checking the

0:42:04.400 --> 0:42:07.359
<v Speaker 3>mirror all day every day, I don't know if that's

0:42:07.400 --> 0:42:09.520
<v Speaker 3>a common thing, but it sounds like it could be

0:42:09.840 --> 0:42:15.239
<v Speaker 3>particularly a battle because maybe it's not just BDD, but

0:42:15.320 --> 0:42:18.239
<v Speaker 3>also OCD or addiction. I don't know if addiction to

0:42:18.320 --> 0:42:23.400
<v Speaker 3>exercise or and I had I saw a video about

0:42:23.480 --> 0:42:27.719
<v Speaker 3>you saying you at one point stayed inside for thirty days.

0:42:28.160 --> 0:42:31.239
<v Speaker 3>What what was that about? I mean, what what was

0:42:31.280 --> 0:42:31.920
<v Speaker 3>that from?

0:42:31.960 --> 0:42:35.839
<v Speaker 2>And how it's crazy? So I've never spoken company about

0:42:35.840 --> 0:42:38.719
<v Speaker 2>it with an outlet. So I was on acutine and

0:42:39.000 --> 0:42:41.040
<v Speaker 2>back in the day, and it led to like some

0:42:41.080 --> 0:42:42.960
<v Speaker 2>facial hair growth, so I felt like I needed to

0:42:43.000 --> 0:42:47.080
<v Speaker 2>get electrialsis and she like like gave me like full likeulitis.

0:42:47.080 --> 0:42:48.840
<v Speaker 2>So I like broke out all over my neck and

0:42:48.880 --> 0:42:52.760
<v Speaker 2>I could not That was like my biggest trigger. But again,

0:42:52.960 --> 0:42:56.160
<v Speaker 2>do I think somebody would be uncomfortable with a breakout? Absolutely?

0:42:56.520 --> 0:42:58.279
<v Speaker 2>Do I think it would get them to the point

0:42:58.280 --> 0:43:00.200
<v Speaker 2>where it's like I had like these eight am and

0:43:00.200 --> 0:43:02.480
<v Speaker 2>friends in college and lived in a house like I

0:43:02.560 --> 0:43:06.040
<v Speaker 2>had like my life there, did I like intellectually now,

0:43:06.040 --> 0:43:08.120
<v Speaker 2>do I think they would reject me as a friend?

0:43:08.239 --> 0:43:10.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean, granted that's what happens to me as a kid,

0:43:10.920 --> 0:43:14.400
<v Speaker 2>but no, I just couldn't leave my house, like I

0:43:14.640 --> 0:43:18.040
<v Speaker 2>literally I was like and my parents didn't know what

0:43:18.040 --> 0:43:19.839
<v Speaker 2>to do with me. I was like on and off

0:43:19.880 --> 0:43:23.400
<v Speaker 2>different medications and I just ended up taking the semester

0:43:23.480 --> 0:43:26.080
<v Speaker 2>off and was in some type of like group therapy

0:43:26.120 --> 0:43:30.000
<v Speaker 2>at that point. Didn't get the diagnosis of bad and

0:43:30.120 --> 0:43:32.400
<v Speaker 2>was basically told like I need to look at the

0:43:32.440 --> 0:43:34.800
<v Speaker 2>person next to me because he just lost his wife.

0:43:34.840 --> 0:43:37.520
<v Speaker 2>For fifty you just can't get out of the mirror

0:43:37.560 --> 0:43:40.200
<v Speaker 2>and you just don't like your skin. And I'm like, okay,

0:43:40.480 --> 0:43:43.200
<v Speaker 2>like you don't get like this has kind of been

0:43:43.680 --> 0:43:45.440
<v Speaker 2>And then I think that's also what makes it harder,

0:43:45.520 --> 0:43:47.800
<v Speaker 2>is like you hear people talk about their parents and

0:43:47.840 --> 0:43:51.719
<v Speaker 2>you're like, oh, you're vain, Like no, like this isn't

0:43:51.760 --> 0:43:54.960
<v Speaker 2>a bad manity, like I didn't want to live, Like

0:43:55.080 --> 0:43:58.439
<v Speaker 2>that's serious. And I actually did not get the diagnosis

0:43:58.480 --> 0:44:00.759
<v Speaker 2>till route a year and a half after that, so

0:44:00.840 --> 0:44:04.799
<v Speaker 2>I was walking around after that like not knowing. I

0:44:04.840 --> 0:44:06.960
<v Speaker 2>still just thought this was an appearance issue, like I'm

0:44:07.040 --> 0:44:09.000
<v Speaker 2>just ugly and grows. And then it was like a

0:44:09.080 --> 0:44:11.399
<v Speaker 2>year and a half later my mom found somebody who

0:44:11.440 --> 0:44:14.640
<v Speaker 2>gave me the diagnosis at that point. But yeah, I mean,

0:44:14.880 --> 0:44:17.840
<v Speaker 2>people do stay house down. I mean, and I have

0:44:18.000 --> 0:44:21.919
<v Speaker 2>clients that you know, really won't leave or won't even

0:44:21.920 --> 0:44:24.839
<v Speaker 2>attempt to do therapy until they get their procedures done

0:44:25.680 --> 0:44:28.200
<v Speaker 2>or and it's and it's a really hard thing because

0:44:28.480 --> 0:44:30.480
<v Speaker 2>you know it would be great if like people assessed

0:44:30.480 --> 0:44:34.040
<v Speaker 2>for it, but the reality is gerrmatologists and best surgeons

0:44:34.080 --> 0:44:35.320
<v Speaker 2>won't all effect their income.

0:44:35.840 --> 0:44:40.600
<v Speaker 1>Correct, Ye, No, at all they like us coming in. Yeah,

0:44:40.640 --> 0:44:43.720
<v Speaker 1>I relate to I relate to the skin thing because

0:44:43.960 --> 0:44:46.760
<v Speaker 1>when everyone was like going through, you know, their awkward

0:44:46.800 --> 0:44:50.920
<v Speaker 1>phase of like hitting puberty, breaking out, getting braces. Like

0:44:51.040 --> 0:44:53.319
<v Speaker 1>I got my braces off right before I went into

0:44:53.400 --> 0:44:55.680
<v Speaker 1>the seventh grade, so I was looking all snatched right

0:44:55.840 --> 0:44:59.400
<v Speaker 1>for the for the eighth graders with my straight teeth.

0:45:00.080 --> 0:45:03.560
<v Speaker 1>And I really didn't have skin issues until after high school.

0:45:03.840 --> 0:45:06.560
<v Speaker 1>And I'm telling you what the amount of things I

0:45:06.640 --> 0:45:10.040
<v Speaker 1>missed out on because I would not leave the house

0:45:10.120 --> 0:45:11.960
<v Speaker 1>and I would obsess in the mirror. I would go

0:45:12.040 --> 0:45:14.880
<v Speaker 1>back hundreds of times to see if the breakout was

0:45:14.920 --> 0:45:17.560
<v Speaker 1>still happening. I would wake up in the morning and

0:45:17.600 --> 0:45:20.880
<v Speaker 1>be so depressed that the morning had come because I

0:45:21.000 --> 0:45:24.480
<v Speaker 1>had to deal with my skin again and it wouldn't stop.

0:45:24.640 --> 0:45:26.960
<v Speaker 1>You know. It was like the hormonal breakout where it's like,

0:45:27.080 --> 0:45:30.239
<v Speaker 1>how do I get this under control. I Also, it

0:45:30.320 --> 0:45:32.319
<v Speaker 1>wasn't accutane that I went on, because I think that

0:45:32.360 --> 0:45:35.160
<v Speaker 1>they like moved that off because of a lot of

0:45:35.920 --> 0:45:39.360
<v Speaker 1>right side after side effects. But I did something different

0:45:39.400 --> 0:45:42.040
<v Speaker 1>and it did clear my skin up. But I'm telling you,

0:45:42.080 --> 0:45:44.680
<v Speaker 1>the skin was debilitating for me, wasn't it.

0:45:44.680 --> 0:45:46.920
<v Speaker 2>In your book. Also, like when you were talking about

0:45:46.920 --> 0:45:49.200
<v Speaker 2>like yeah, that guy and you were like going to

0:45:49.239 --> 0:45:52.000
<v Speaker 2>sleep with the makeup on and see.

0:45:52.280 --> 0:45:55.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, it was horrific. And this was before you

0:45:55.520 --> 0:45:58.520
<v Speaker 1>could like go and and I didn't have social media

0:45:58.520 --> 0:45:59.920
<v Speaker 1>because I was like why would I post? You can

0:46:00.280 --> 0:46:02.640
<v Speaker 1>edit photos, you could pay someone to edit them for you,

0:46:03.000 --> 0:46:04.680
<v Speaker 1>but you didn't have like the quick app that you

0:46:04.680 --> 0:46:08.040
<v Speaker 1>could just like swipe face tune clear that SHITEP real quick.

0:46:08.680 --> 0:46:13.440
<v Speaker 1>So I totally relate. The difference is is once my

0:46:13.600 --> 0:46:17.560
<v Speaker 1>skin got clear, like I did start feeling like I

0:46:17.600 --> 0:46:20.720
<v Speaker 1>could go out, and like it didn't. I don't feel

0:46:20.719 --> 0:46:24.560
<v Speaker 1>like it was something where I hated myself. I hated

0:46:24.640 --> 0:46:28.799
<v Speaker 1>my fucking breakout. I needed it to end because there

0:46:28.840 --> 0:46:30.560
<v Speaker 1>was no amount of makeup in the world that could

0:46:30.640 --> 0:46:33.960
<v Speaker 1>like fix the texture, you know, with lighting. Like I

0:46:34.000 --> 0:46:36.160
<v Speaker 1>didn't want to go out in the daylight. That was

0:46:36.200 --> 0:46:39.200
<v Speaker 1>the worst thing. I remember going outside in the daylight

0:46:39.520 --> 0:46:43.600
<v Speaker 1>and seeing my reflection in the in the the window

0:46:44.320 --> 0:46:47.640
<v Speaker 1>and I was like just depressed about it. It was

0:46:47.680 --> 0:46:50.359
<v Speaker 1>like I don't want to leave. I'll drive around with

0:46:50.400 --> 0:46:52.600
<v Speaker 1>my mom. She would go and get take out for us.

0:46:52.640 --> 0:46:54.560
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't go in with her because I was so

0:46:55.400 --> 0:46:57.000
<v Speaker 1>self conscious about it.

0:46:57.040 --> 0:47:01.120
<v Speaker 3>Is there a way, like let's say someone young or

0:47:01.120 --> 0:47:03.799
<v Speaker 3>not even young, starts going in that direction and it

0:47:03.880 --> 0:47:07.880
<v Speaker 3>starts getting a little more inside. They're staying inside more there,

0:47:08.360 --> 0:47:13.279
<v Speaker 3>and it starts interfering with their everyday lives. Is there

0:47:13.480 --> 0:47:17.000
<v Speaker 3>something that people can start doing that might help pull

0:47:17.040 --> 0:47:19.640
<v Speaker 3>them out of that so it doesn't start to maybe

0:47:19.680 --> 0:47:20.400
<v Speaker 3>take control.

0:47:20.680 --> 0:47:22.719
<v Speaker 2>So I think it's having like an honest dialogue of

0:47:22.760 --> 0:47:24.520
<v Speaker 2>being like, Okay, I know we live in an appearance

0:47:24.560 --> 0:47:26.839
<v Speaker 2>focused world, but like we also need to have other

0:47:26.880 --> 0:47:29.359
<v Speaker 2>things about ourselves. And so with kids, it's just it's

0:47:29.440 --> 0:47:32.279
<v Speaker 2>just having that conversation. It's understanding where they are with

0:47:32.320 --> 0:47:35.279
<v Speaker 2>the breakouts, explaining I understand how you feel. It would

0:47:35.280 --> 0:47:38.319
<v Speaker 2>also from a behavioral perspective would be like like your

0:47:38.360 --> 0:47:40.359
<v Speaker 2>mom and I know, like I mean, fortunately it didn't

0:47:40.360 --> 0:47:42.120
<v Speaker 2>turn into anything. It would be like, Okay, your mom's

0:47:42.160 --> 0:47:43.440
<v Speaker 2>gonna be like you need to go out and get

0:47:43.440 --> 0:47:45.560
<v Speaker 2>the takeout food yourself, Like I'm not going to like

0:47:45.640 --> 0:47:47.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna wait, like you're not waiting in the park.

0:47:47.719 --> 0:47:51.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, we're like you know what I mean, Like

0:47:52.120 --> 0:47:54.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and or would be like you're not going

0:47:54.040 --> 0:47:57.360
<v Speaker 2>out with makeups today, like but slowly going, you know,

0:47:57.600 --> 0:48:00.520
<v Speaker 2>and again does everybody. I think that's the thing. There's

0:48:00.600 --> 0:48:04.040
<v Speaker 2>clients that I see, especially young, where like it's questionable

0:48:04.080 --> 0:48:06.480
<v Speaker 2>if they have it or not right because there is

0:48:06.600 --> 0:48:09.480
<v Speaker 2>normalcy of like being self conscious with how you look,

0:48:09.560 --> 0:48:12.319
<v Speaker 2>I mean at all actually all aspects of life. But

0:48:12.360 --> 0:48:15.560
<v Speaker 2>I think it's about if there's any avoidant behaviors you

0:48:15.680 --> 0:48:18.680
<v Speaker 2>kind of push And I was gonna say, actually bad

0:48:18.800 --> 0:48:21.719
<v Speaker 2>is considered an OCD spectrum to swear, but there are

0:48:21.760 --> 0:48:25.360
<v Speaker 2>a lot of kind of similarities with like the obsessive

0:48:25.360 --> 0:48:28.200
<v Speaker 2>component and the compulsive component. The little bit of the

0:48:28.280 --> 0:48:30.520
<v Speaker 2>biggest difference is that people with b D kind of

0:48:30.760 --> 0:48:33.520
<v Speaker 2>still have a lot more trauma associated So there could

0:48:33.560 --> 0:48:37.080
<v Speaker 2>be abuse associated with it. There could be like bullying, teasing,

0:48:37.120 --> 0:48:39.840
<v Speaker 2>which is my thing. It could be like a poor

0:48:39.880 --> 0:48:42.400
<v Speaker 2>family dynamics. We don't see that as much in OCD.

0:48:42.760 --> 0:48:45.040
<v Speaker 2>We see that more with BDD. But again, if you

0:48:45.040 --> 0:48:48.040
<v Speaker 2>start to notice, like younger things where maybe like they're

0:48:48.080 --> 0:48:49.759
<v Speaker 2>taking a lot of pictures, you might want to say

0:48:49.800 --> 0:48:53.280
<v Speaker 2>like means you know, or like I'm constantly taking social

0:48:53.360 --> 0:48:57.000
<v Speaker 2>media breaks constantly. It's just to me, I mean, I

0:48:57.040 --> 0:48:59.200
<v Speaker 2>give you you have to be on social media, but

0:48:59.280 --> 0:49:02.319
<v Speaker 2>to me it's rot Like I just sometimes feel like

0:49:02.320 --> 0:49:04.480
<v Speaker 2>what am I even doing? I'll end up on somebody's

0:49:04.520 --> 0:49:06.399
<v Speaker 2>page that I don't even know, Like I don't even

0:49:06.440 --> 0:49:09.879
<v Speaker 2>know what I'm doing, and I'm like, what am I doing?

0:49:09.880 --> 0:49:12.399
<v Speaker 2>Like where do I get any Like I have a kid,

0:49:12.520 --> 0:49:14.960
<v Speaker 2>Like what am I doing here? Like? And so sometimes

0:49:15.040 --> 0:49:17.440
<v Speaker 2>I just have to go offline and I need like

0:49:17.520 --> 0:49:19.800
<v Speaker 2>that like sense of coming back into the real world.

0:49:20.080 --> 0:49:22.120
<v Speaker 2>And so I always like that could be one thing,

0:49:22.200 --> 0:49:26.360
<v Speaker 2>like maybe come off social media and just really having

0:49:26.440 --> 0:49:29.480
<v Speaker 2>like an honest dialogue. Let's say, if we're going to dermatologists,

0:49:29.480 --> 0:49:32.239
<v Speaker 2>like be honest with the dermatologist, Like be honest with

0:49:32.280 --> 0:49:35.040
<v Speaker 2>saying like, look, this is how I'm feeling. Again, what

0:49:35.160 --> 0:49:38.120
<v Speaker 2>you notice people with BD is this very well or nothing?

0:49:38.440 --> 0:49:41.160
<v Speaker 2>Thought process? Like I need to look a certain way

0:49:41.200 --> 0:49:43.399
<v Speaker 2>for me to be okay, and if not, like I

0:49:43.480 --> 0:49:45.880
<v Speaker 2>just don't deserve to be, like truly don't deserve to

0:49:45.920 --> 0:49:50.040
<v Speaker 2>be in this world. And it's sad, it's heartbreaking. There's

0:49:50.040 --> 0:49:53.200
<v Speaker 2>been a lot of suicide loss to it, and there

0:49:53.280 --> 0:49:57.080
<v Speaker 2>is a lot of comorbidity with addiction because they self

0:49:57.120 --> 0:50:00.480
<v Speaker 2>medicate right, and so instead of talking about it, they

0:50:00.560 --> 0:50:04.080
<v Speaker 2>go and numb out. And so you see the combination

0:50:04.200 --> 0:50:06.040
<v Speaker 2>of both. And I've had a lot of clients like

0:50:06.080 --> 0:50:09.319
<v Speaker 2>with both, and usually recommend is treat the substance use

0:50:09.360 --> 0:50:11.800
<v Speaker 2>first and then go in and do the media work

0:50:12.040 --> 0:50:15.120
<v Speaker 2>because that's obviously the most crucial part of you know.

0:50:15.800 --> 0:50:18.279
<v Speaker 2>And I have a ton of people in recovery, which

0:50:18.320 --> 0:50:19.880
<v Speaker 2>I have so much respect for you, and I have

0:50:19.920 --> 0:50:25.560
<v Speaker 2>to say this, they find recovery easier than this work. Wow,

0:50:25.680 --> 0:50:29.000
<v Speaker 2>it blew my mind. I had about twenty five percent

0:50:29.080 --> 0:50:33.279
<v Speaker 2>of my clients with comorbid like substance abuse, and they

0:50:33.320 --> 0:50:36.120
<v Speaker 2>were in like living their best life, like ten years sober,

0:50:36.200 --> 0:50:39.160
<v Speaker 2>I had twenty eight years. They could not get on

0:50:39.280 --> 0:50:41.040
<v Speaker 2>this train that I was doing with them, and I'm like,

0:50:41.320 --> 0:50:44.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to understand. I'm like, you do the hardest

0:50:44.000 --> 0:50:47.720
<v Speaker 2>thing day in day out, but it's like the thought

0:50:47.840 --> 0:50:50.600
<v Speaker 2>of letting go of like who they saw themselves to be,

0:50:50.680 --> 0:50:52.920
<v Speaker 2>it was just so hard, and they just it was

0:50:53.160 --> 0:50:55.600
<v Speaker 2>it was just almost impossible with some of them. And

0:50:55.640 --> 0:50:57.080
<v Speaker 2>I just and I was like, can we look at

0:50:57.080 --> 0:50:59.359
<v Speaker 2>the strength that you have from being sober and what

0:50:59.440 --> 0:51:02.120
<v Speaker 2>that takes to really like dig deep to do that,

0:51:02.200 --> 0:51:05.200
<v Speaker 2>because that you have to be a strong person to

0:51:05.320 --> 0:51:08.759
<v Speaker 2>be sober. I'm sorry, it's a literally strong person. So

0:51:08.800 --> 0:51:10.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm like to use some of that strength. And it

0:51:10.640 --> 0:51:12.759
<v Speaker 2>was it was interesting to see that it was not

0:51:13.080 --> 0:51:16.040
<v Speaker 2>They couldn't really transfer it for whatever reason. It was harder.

0:51:16.360 --> 0:51:20.080
<v Speaker 1>So on that note, because you know, you always hear

0:51:20.280 --> 0:51:23.719
<v Speaker 1>people struggling with addiction, they always say I'm in recovery

0:51:23.800 --> 0:51:26.080
<v Speaker 1>because the fact of the matter is you will never

0:51:26.160 --> 0:51:31.239
<v Speaker 1>be recovered, you know. It's it's one disease that you

0:51:31.360 --> 0:51:33.360
<v Speaker 1>have to work at every single day. You'll never be

0:51:33.480 --> 0:51:37.240
<v Speaker 1>cared from it. Is that how it is with BDD,

0:51:37.600 --> 0:51:40.120
<v Speaker 1>Like you have to work at it pretty much every day.

0:51:40.440 --> 0:51:44.520
<v Speaker 2>Yes, one, so I have it. I like stam in recovery.

0:51:44.880 --> 0:51:47.160
<v Speaker 2>But I always tell my clients like I can equally

0:51:47.200 --> 0:51:49.680
<v Speaker 2>be right back with where you're at, Like if I

0:51:50.080 --> 0:51:52.439
<v Speaker 2>end up doing something like it's funny like I went

0:51:52.480 --> 0:51:54.560
<v Speaker 2>in I wanted to get a facial And I'll always

0:51:54.800 --> 0:51:58.320
<v Speaker 2>say this, if you can answer these three questions, please

0:51:58.360 --> 0:52:00.160
<v Speaker 2>do whatever it is you want. If you could be

0:52:00.200 --> 0:52:02.080
<v Speaker 2>okay that it looks the same when you come out,

0:52:02.239 --> 0:52:03.840
<v Speaker 2>go get it done. If you could be okay that

0:52:03.920 --> 0:52:06.120
<v Speaker 2>it looks better, get it done. If you could be

0:52:06.120 --> 0:52:08.759
<v Speaker 2>okay it looks worse, get it on. The worst is

0:52:08.800 --> 0:52:11.120
<v Speaker 2>when no one can answer that, and then I'm like,

0:52:11.160 --> 0:52:13.000
<v Speaker 2>well then you can't go in. And I was like,

0:52:13.040 --> 0:52:14.640
<v Speaker 2>you can't if you're not gonna be okay that it

0:52:14.640 --> 0:52:17.680
<v Speaker 2>could possibly look worse then you So like I went

0:52:17.719 --> 0:52:20.279
<v Speaker 2>into like to talk about getting a facial and it

0:52:20.360 --> 0:52:23.239
<v Speaker 2>was so interesting. I'm so honest about it. I'm like, hey,

0:52:23.440 --> 0:52:26.759
<v Speaker 2>s YI have body this work disorder. So probably never

0:52:26.800 --> 0:52:29.080
<v Speaker 2>going to get a laser because I've gotten one before

0:52:29.120 --> 0:52:32.359
<v Speaker 2>and it blew up my whole life, like my kids

0:52:32.400 --> 0:52:35.440
<v Speaker 2>do not. I ended up in three weeks of intensive

0:52:35.480 --> 0:52:39.440
<v Speaker 2>therapy because I got a laser on Moral Canyon and

0:52:39.520 --> 0:52:42.720
<v Speaker 2>I told that PA that I have BDD and he's like, okay,

0:52:42.840 --> 0:52:44.919
<v Speaker 2>let's see head to toe what we can do for you.

0:52:45.360 --> 0:52:48.239
<v Speaker 2>And I couldn't handle the redness after an IPL and

0:52:48.280 --> 0:52:49.759
<v Speaker 2>it like set me into a fold.

0:52:49.800 --> 0:52:51.880
<v Speaker 1>Even though you knew the redness would go away, I

0:52:51.960 --> 0:52:54.600
<v Speaker 1>guess I couldn't. You couldn't put it this way.

0:52:55.080 --> 0:52:59.440
<v Speaker 2>The emotional thing with made the redness not go away,

0:52:59.680 --> 0:53:03.920
<v Speaker 2>so so anxious that it literally was not going away.

0:53:04.120 --> 0:53:06.160
<v Speaker 2>And I like this, I like lost it and I

0:53:06.200 --> 0:53:07.799
<v Speaker 2>was like I ended up like having to take a

0:53:07.840 --> 0:53:10.960
<v Speaker 2>medical leave for my job. It was like the worst

0:53:11.080 --> 0:53:13.839
<v Speaker 2>two hundred dollars spent and it like ended me up

0:53:13.920 --> 0:53:16.520
<v Speaker 2>in like six thousand dollars worth the therapy and like

0:53:16.920 --> 0:53:20.280
<v Speaker 2>it was like so it was just it's so interesting

0:53:20.280 --> 0:53:21.880
<v Speaker 2>to me, Like when I went to this person and

0:53:21.880 --> 0:53:24.360
<v Speaker 2>she's like, oh, you can go get a consult for filler,

0:53:24.440 --> 0:53:26.759
<v Speaker 2>and and I'm like, did you just hear what I

0:53:26.880 --> 0:53:31.160
<v Speaker 2>told you? Like? Am I like? And I think sometimes

0:53:31.160 --> 0:53:34.279
<v Speaker 2>like truthfully, even if you tell somebody, they look at

0:53:34.320 --> 0:53:35.919
<v Speaker 2>it as like you're a cash cow like.

0:53:35.840 --> 0:53:39.120
<v Speaker 1>One then they're like, oh, this person's coming back day

0:53:39.160 --> 0:53:41.840
<v Speaker 1>after day to get filled up to the brim.

0:53:41.960 --> 0:53:44.760
<v Speaker 2>But on the flip side, there was an amazing dermatologist

0:53:44.880 --> 0:53:47.360
<v Speaker 2>like right by, like what is it like Century City

0:53:47.400 --> 0:53:49.760
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, Robin, there's no amount of money

0:53:49.800 --> 0:53:51.400
<v Speaker 2>that I will take for me to give you botox

0:53:51.400 --> 0:53:55.000
<v Speaker 2>because you will call me every single day and not happy.

0:53:55.239 --> 0:53:56.359
<v Speaker 1>Right, It's not worth it.

0:53:56.440 --> 0:53:58.400
<v Speaker 2>He's like, not worth it. He's like I don't want

0:53:58.520 --> 0:54:00.640
<v Speaker 2>He's like I like you, but like never going to happen.

0:54:00.640 --> 0:54:03.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm not touching your face and I was like, okay,

0:54:03.719 --> 0:54:05.640
<v Speaker 2>and I really respect that, but you don't find that

0:54:06.239 --> 0:54:09.600
<v Speaker 2>and so that's no, that's the problem with people with BDD.

0:54:09.719 --> 0:54:12.080
<v Speaker 2>It's like you'll have people like I had a client

0:54:12.120 --> 0:54:13.879
<v Speaker 2>with a nose job, where like there are a ton

0:54:13.920 --> 0:54:16.640
<v Speaker 2>of doctors that said no, but you will find the

0:54:16.640 --> 0:54:20.080
<v Speaker 2>doctor that will say yes. You know somebody who wants

0:54:20.080 --> 0:54:23.279
<v Speaker 2>hair transplant, they said no before the age of twenty five,

0:54:23.840 --> 0:54:26.839
<v Speaker 2>and sure enough they'll find someone that will do it.

0:54:27.160 --> 0:54:30.239
<v Speaker 2>So it's like it's really hard for like, you know

0:54:30.280 --> 0:54:32.360
<v Speaker 2>myself and naturally, like I speak a lot about it,

0:54:32.360 --> 0:54:34.480
<v Speaker 2>is because I have it. Like I'm not just somebody

0:54:34.520 --> 0:54:36.400
<v Speaker 2>that like read a book about it, Like right, this

0:54:36.480 --> 0:54:37.280
<v Speaker 2>is their life.

0:54:37.400 --> 0:54:39.799
<v Speaker 1>You specialize in it, you've had it, you relate to it.

0:54:40.080 --> 0:54:41.879
<v Speaker 1>I think that's the most powerful thing.

0:54:42.080 --> 0:54:45.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know. And but to answer a question, I

0:54:45.239 --> 0:54:49.479
<v Speaker 2>think I'm in recovery every day. I think as there's

0:54:49.520 --> 0:54:51.799
<v Speaker 2>times where it's a lot easier, there's times where it's

0:54:51.800 --> 0:54:55.160
<v Speaker 2>slightly can be harder. You know. I'm very like I'm

0:54:55.239 --> 0:54:58.040
<v Speaker 2>always like analyzing myself, I guess as a therapist, and

0:54:58.080 --> 0:55:00.279
<v Speaker 2>I'll be like, oh my god, like this is hits

0:55:00.320 --> 0:55:02.600
<v Speaker 2>me in all aspects of life. And I think that's

0:55:02.640 --> 0:55:05.800
<v Speaker 2>a newer piece that most therapists who treat this disorder

0:55:05.960 --> 0:55:08.360
<v Speaker 2>don't do, Like they'll do the behavioral work, like it

0:55:08.400 --> 0:55:10.719
<v Speaker 2>knows I specialize also in o SK and they'll do

0:55:11.120 --> 0:55:14.080
<v Speaker 2>the behavioral work, but they won't look at like what

0:55:14.120 --> 0:55:17.200
<v Speaker 2>are your core beliefs about yourself? So like no one

0:55:17.239 --> 0:55:19.040
<v Speaker 2>sat there and asked me, like, Robin, how do you

0:55:19.040 --> 0:55:21.040
<v Speaker 2>feel about yourself? And I would have been like, I

0:55:21.080 --> 0:55:23.640
<v Speaker 2>feel like I am the most worthless human being, like

0:55:23.760 --> 0:55:26.719
<v Speaker 2>beyond just my skin. And maybe if they would have

0:55:26.719 --> 0:55:28.920
<v Speaker 2>done that, they could have saved me three relationships that

0:55:28.960 --> 0:55:31.120
<v Speaker 2>I definitely didn't need to be in, and like my

0:55:31.200 --> 0:55:33.320
<v Speaker 2>life would have been a lot different. But of course,

0:55:33.440 --> 0:55:35.840
<v Speaker 2>like they just were like, oh, if she could stop

0:55:35.880 --> 0:55:39.040
<v Speaker 2>the behavior, she's fine, and that was not the case.

0:55:39.160 --> 0:55:42.000
<v Speaker 2>And so I like strive, like with my clients to

0:55:42.000 --> 0:55:44.680
<v Speaker 2>see them as a whole person. I want, I want

0:55:44.719 --> 0:55:47.279
<v Speaker 2>to like know their story. I want to know, like

0:55:47.520 --> 0:55:49.640
<v Speaker 2>really get into the nitty gritty. And I think that

0:55:49.640 --> 0:55:53.759
<v Speaker 2>that's a newer thing because usually with therapy, they want

0:55:53.840 --> 0:55:56.920
<v Speaker 2>like evidence these practices, and they want things like super

0:55:56.960 --> 0:56:00.719
<v Speaker 2>clean and more intense intense, like cite with therapy is

0:56:00.760 --> 0:56:03.040
<v Speaker 2>like you can't measure that, so they're not as interested

0:56:03.080 --> 0:56:05.880
<v Speaker 2>in it. But it needs to happen. And so you know,

0:56:06.840 --> 0:56:08.920
<v Speaker 2>recovery is not easy. I mean, you know, it's just

0:56:08.920 --> 0:56:11.759
<v Speaker 2>not it's not. But I think we all go through

0:56:12.000 --> 0:56:14.360
<v Speaker 2>through things, and I think that's what is reality to

0:56:14.400 --> 0:56:16.920
<v Speaker 2>this world. I think unless you've like lived under a

0:56:17.040 --> 0:56:20.200
<v Speaker 2>rock like you've been, something has happened to you and

0:56:20.760 --> 0:56:24.200
<v Speaker 2>either you've had the coping to work through it or

0:56:24.719 --> 0:56:27.080
<v Speaker 2>or sometimes you don't have good coping to work through it,

0:56:27.120 --> 0:56:29.920
<v Speaker 2>and that's what lands you into possibly needing for support.

0:56:30.160 --> 0:56:33.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm beyond thrilled that I that we found each other

0:56:33.239 --> 0:56:37.200
<v Speaker 1>because I think this needs to be a grander topic.

0:56:38.120 --> 0:56:40.919
<v Speaker 1>And I won't even lie I've thrown I mean, I've

0:56:40.920 --> 0:56:42.440
<v Speaker 1>had friends where they look in the mirror and they

0:56:42.480 --> 0:56:44.160
<v Speaker 1>talk about their bodies, and I've told them, you have

0:56:44.200 --> 0:56:46.560
<v Speaker 1>body dysmorphia because I'm like, I'm looking at you. You

0:56:46.640 --> 0:56:50.640
<v Speaker 1>look fucking fire, but like you really have shed a

0:56:50.680 --> 0:56:53.160
<v Speaker 1>lot of light. And I think my listeners are going

0:56:53.200 --> 0:56:56.319
<v Speaker 1>to be very appreciative. Where can they find you? On

0:56:56.400 --> 0:56:57.360
<v Speaker 1>social media?

0:56:57.480 --> 0:56:59.879
<v Speaker 2>So you could find me at the badd and OC

0:57:00.360 --> 0:57:04.680
<v Speaker 2>Therapist that's on Instagram, and then you could also find

0:57:04.680 --> 0:57:08.880
<v Speaker 2>my website which is Rlsterntherapy dot com.

0:57:09.120 --> 0:57:11.600
<v Speaker 3>Is it Instagram handle all once? So it's the b

0:57:11.760 --> 0:57:13.960
<v Speaker 3>D D and ot D Therapist. Okay, got it.

0:57:14.040 --> 0:57:16.880
<v Speaker 1>I love it. Keep spreading the word, keep doing amazing work.

0:57:16.920 --> 0:57:18.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm so proud of you, and I'm so happy that

0:57:18.680 --> 0:57:19.440
<v Speaker 1>we found each other.

0:57:19.640 --> 0:57:22.400
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much, guys, thank you for having me.