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Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. I want to do it kind of like

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Speaker 1: Heather McDonald's Hello and Welcome to give them a la

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Speaker 1: podcast That was really good?

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Speaker 2: Was it?

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Speaker 1: Because I listened to her podcast on the way home

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Speaker 1: from Newport and I was just rowling. I was rolling,

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Speaker 1: not rolling like that like the cool kids, the cool

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Speaker 1: kids rolling laughing.

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Speaker 3: I don't think a lot of people know how good

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Speaker 3: you are at impressions. It's like a I would call

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Speaker 3: it a hidden talent.

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Speaker 1: Wait really, no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: You're amazing at impressions of like your friends, of like.

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Speaker 1: My mom goes sucker in her mouth.

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Speaker 3: Yes, girl, we have Lisa in the office today. Love,

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Speaker 3: love the energy.

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Speaker 1: You're the right side of my body, Jess, and my

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Speaker 1: mom is.

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Speaker 3: The l last and oh is the heart.

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Speaker 1: Oh is the whole beat the heart. Sweeten out of

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Speaker 1: my face. Baby, she's so stink and cute. Can I

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Speaker 1: tell you? Yeah? I just so. We've done this a

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Speaker 1: few times now, but she's getting to that age where

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Speaker 1: she like really is enjoying girl time. Likes she knows

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Speaker 1: that it's girl time. She does, so I'll put her

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Speaker 1: in the bed, okay, and we'll start a movie and

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Speaker 1: we'll make like a treat and she'll sit in the

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Speaker 1: middle and watch the movie and she's digging into all

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Speaker 1: the treats and eating and watching and laughing. She is, yes,

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Speaker 1: and it's the cutest thing you'll ever see.

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Speaker 3: It's you, your mom and oh it's the three of you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's like it's girl time. Everyone in the bed.

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Speaker 1: Let's make a snack and you can tell little girl.

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Speaker 3: Now do you watch kid shows or does she not

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Speaker 3: really care about the movie. She just cares that she's

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Speaker 3: sitting there, so you maybe watch more of an adult

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Speaker 3: mover or.

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Speaker 1: No, we watched Monsters Inc. Yeah, okay, Monsters University Fun.

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Speaker 1: She's in to Monsters Inc. Right now. Oh that's cute. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: loves it. I've shown her like older movies like Lion

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Speaker 1: King and stuff, and she there's just something about the

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Speaker 1: Monsters Inc. That she is like honed in on. Would

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Speaker 1: you know I love animated movies?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Do you know Disney disney Land has a Monster's Ink Ride.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if it'd be too scary for her,

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Speaker 3: but it's like you basically just like sit in a

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Speaker 3: cart and you go through the Monster's Inc. World.

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Speaker 1: No, I think she'd love it, you do? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: want to take her to Disneyland. Yeah, I have to

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Speaker 1: do that. We got to put that on the schedule. Mom. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so there was that. This weekend was Labor Day weekend. Sunday,

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Speaker 1: I went out on a boat with my friends. It

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Speaker 1: was absolutely spectacular.

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Speaker 3: It looked amazing.

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Speaker 1: They played fifty cent in the club like all day

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Speaker 1: for me, and I was like torking my flat ass

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Speaker 1: all over that yacht.

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Speaker 3: That I saw it on your stories. You had like

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Speaker 3: a did you have like a light.

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Speaker 1: Green, like a lime lime green?

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Speaker 3: Yes, looked so fun.

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Speaker 1: Everyone else wasn't black. I was like, you should have

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Speaker 1: told me, because now I look so out of place

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Speaker 1: in these photos. No, you did it.

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Speaker 3: You loved who was on? Was it just like a

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Speaker 3: bunch of friends? Was it? Did you know everyone?

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Speaker 1: It was Sheena's Sheena's group okay that she so kindly

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Speaker 1: introduced me to when we all just really hit it off.

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Speaker 1: We actually hit it off when we went on the

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Speaker 1: boat in Mexico for Sheena's like bachelorette day.

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Speaker 3: Got it okay?

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Speaker 1: You know? And I you know I have I have

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Speaker 1: social anxiety. I don't think many people would know that

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Speaker 1: just because of the way I come across but when

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Speaker 1: you tell me we're going somewhere with a group of

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Speaker 1: people that I don't know, and it's like I start

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Speaker 1: getting triggered, Like safe place, Nope, nope, hotel room sounds safe? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: rooms sound safe.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Not that these people have ever done anything to me.

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Speaker 1: It's just I get nervous and I don't have alcohol

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Speaker 1: or anything else to kind of like calm the thoughts

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Speaker 1: in my head, which is great. I don't want that.

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Speaker 1: But these women were amazing. They're all moms, and we

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Speaker 1: just hit it off. And they said come out for

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Speaker 1: Labor Day and I said I will.

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Speaker 3: Be there, so fun.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And then the next so we went out on

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Speaker 1: the boat on Sunday. My mom brought Ocean down that night,

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Speaker 1: and Monday we went to their fabulous home. It's like

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Speaker 1: absolutely stunning. All of Ocean's little friends were there.

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Speaker 3: So swimmy. I saw, do the babies get along? I

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Speaker 3: think I've asked you this before, but I just asked

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Speaker 3: as like a babysitter who used to like babysit babies,

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Speaker 3: and I would always have to be watching the ones

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Speaker 3: I babysat because they were constantly going after kids.

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Speaker 1: You know what. They're really sweet with each other, and

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Speaker 1: they do know each other. Okay, second Ocean sees summer

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Speaker 1: Moon or Hartford or Cruisy, and there were other little

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Speaker 1: kids there, and Ocean is just so sweet and she

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Speaker 1: knows like, you're a baby, I'm a baby. Let's be friends.

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Speaker 1: Let's get in the kidti pool together, have a heyday.

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Speaker 1: So it's just beyond que.

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Speaker 3: That house where we were was beautiful.

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Speaker 1: It's beyond stunning.

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Speaker 3: I mean the view of the ocean, and Ocean.

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Speaker 1: Was obsessed with looking at the ocean. She kept taking

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Speaker 1: making me take her to the edge of the pool

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Speaker 1: to look out at it, and she'd point and then

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Speaker 1: look at me and go cute little smile Stacy. We

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Speaker 1: were with her last week and she goes la la.

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Speaker 1: She literally doesn't have a thought without smiling. And so

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Speaker 1: I was watching, oh, and she would stop have a

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Speaker 1: thought laugh. I was like, oh my gosh, she does.

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Speaker 3: She's the happiest, sweetest baby.

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Speaker 1: She's so stinking cute and easy. And I'm biased because

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Speaker 1: she's mine, but I'm like, your perfection, yeah, like this

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Speaker 1: is what perfection is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So they had a blast. You know. I love when

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Speaker 1: I can get Ocean together with her little friends. I

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Speaker 1: think it's important for her, and like, how lucky am

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Speaker 1: I that she has like a little built in friend group.

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Speaker 1: And then all of the moms are friends too. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's adorable.

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Speaker 3: It's her friends for life, just like Olivia said.

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Speaker 1: And Olivia, yes, because our moms are friends. Now, then

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Speaker 1: we're friends, and now we have babies together that are

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Speaker 1: five months apart, they're friends.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, right, Candace and Chris, it's so cute.

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Speaker 1: I love the whole vibe.

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Speaker 3: You're kind of living the dream.

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Speaker 1: So you know that I go savage when ocean goes

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Speaker 1: down for a nap on ig. And when I say savage,

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Speaker 1: I don't mean like I start trolling, but I start

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Speaker 1: looking up content and I go to one page to

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Speaker 1: the next page. I'm like, how the hell did I

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Speaker 1: end up on this person's page from Wisconsin? And now

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Speaker 1: she's living in Dubai and looking at her man who's

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Speaker 1: super rich, and now I'm on his mom's page.

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Speaker 3: It's like the best we all do.

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Speaker 1: I'd go right into the as. But anyway, I was

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Speaker 1: looking at this page and this woman had posted something

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Speaker 1: and in the background or the song that was playing

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Speaker 1: was Seven Rings by Ariana Grande. Okay, and the part

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Speaker 1: where she says, whoever said money can't solve your problems

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Speaker 1: must not have had enough money to solve them, And

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Speaker 1: I was like, that is so true. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: know why it made me go into this, like, you

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Speaker 1: know what, money can so solve your problems. I've lived

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Speaker 1: in Hollywood way too long. I see these rich, powerful

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Speaker 1: people solving problems and silencing people with their money for

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Speaker 1: a long fucking time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: All right, So what they mean to say, Jess is

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Speaker 1: money cannot buy you happiness, cannot buy you security in

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Speaker 1: the sense if you're an insecure person, it can't quiet

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Speaker 1: that down. But problems. I've seen people pay off their

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Speaker 1: problems in a hot second. Right, Yeah, So I went

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Speaker 1: into that whole thing literally as I'm listening to it

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Speaker 1: watching it, and I was like, wait, I've seen this

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Speaker 1: short circuits plug in. I never you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: so true. Yeah, are Grande speaking mad? Truth in seven rings?

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Speaker 3: I mean, yes, that's the world we live in, unfortunately

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Speaker 3: most of the time. Unfortunately sometimes fortunately, because there are

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Speaker 3: a lot of problems in the world that can be

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Speaker 3: solved by money, like through charities and stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: But on the other hand, there's a lot of problems.

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Speaker 3: I mean the world we live in. If you are

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Speaker 3: rich enough, you can kind of do anything. Or yeah,

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Speaker 3: shut anyone up.

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Speaker 1: And it's Tom's Girardi and his mistress. He had three

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Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars. She's a freaking judge in the court. Sy, Yes,

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Speaker 1: and you want me to feel comfortable being in the

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Speaker 1: court system when I'm watching stuff like this happen a

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Speaker 1: rich guy coming in. Yeah, or you got on the

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Speaker 1: flip side that I've experienced many times. Hey, girl, be quiet,

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Speaker 1: I'll get you a chanel bag. That bitch silence is

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Speaker 1: herself real quick. Yeah all right, So Ariana Grande was

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Speaker 1: onto something. But speaking true, it cannot buy you happiness.

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Speaker 3: True, it can't buy you happiness, but I always do

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Speaker 3: say money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy

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Speaker 3: quote unquote buy you time. And for me, I like

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Speaker 3: to spend time with my loved ones, so indirectly money

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Speaker 3: could buy me happiness, but it can't directly buy me happiness.

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Speaker 1: All right, Well, I want to hear what you guys think,

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Speaker 1: So go my my podcast page and the number is

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Speaker 1: on there. Call in and leave me a message, because

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Speaker 1: you know I just bumped up on this I just

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Speaker 1: spew what I think. But it's just what I think.

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Speaker 3: Lala Cronde.

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Speaker 1: They give them La La podcast The next Savage Thing.

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Speaker 1: Sephany Frankle okay posting about the Kardashians.

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Speaker 3: On TikTok or did you see it on TikTok?

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Speaker 1: I saw it, no, because you remember I see everything late,

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Speaker 1: oh late, because I only look at Instagram. People send

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Speaker 1: me things on TikTok and I'm like, my assistant runs

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Speaker 1: my TikTok. I can't even get into it. I would

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Speaker 1: don't know the password, I don't know what it's saying.

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Speaker 1: Screen record it, send it to me. You can't.

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Speaker 3: You can't say that now because she hasn't posted in

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Speaker 3: a little bit.

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Speaker 1: But we'll get it back up.

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Speaker 3: But anyway, a lot of work, it's a lot Well,

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Speaker 3: when when the season ten of vander Pump starts, we've

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Speaker 3: got great content like that then will be posted.

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Speaker 1: So basically once a year you'll get good content from TikTok.

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Speaker 1: But no, I'm seeing people I won't mention names at

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Speaker 1: the pool party yesterday who have already put reels up,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, who has the time. I know, who

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Speaker 1: has the patience and the energy, like you literally capture

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Speaker 1: every single moment. Did you even enjoy yourself? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Lisa says it's kind of a talent too, and I.

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Speaker 1: Agree, definitely a talent.

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Speaker 3: But we just talked about this. Remember, it's like it

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Speaker 3: made me sad when I was like out with girlfriends

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Speaker 3: and then a couple of them were spending literally the

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Speaker 3: whole night shooting content, and then when we were at dinner,

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Speaker 3: they were editing the content, and then I just never

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Speaker 3: talked to them the whole night. It was sad. But

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Speaker 3: it is also a talent. And if it's your full

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Speaker 3: time job, then like or your job at all, you're

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Speaker 3: making an income, do you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, By the way, I may not understand it, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but like I can respect it. Yeah. I wish I

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Speaker 1: was doing that because my one point seven would be

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Speaker 1: at one point eight if I gave a damn. You know,

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Speaker 1: I posted like three times in like two weeks, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm killing it. I know, killing it, mom.

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Speaker 1: I know whose phone is on?

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Speaker 2: Is that you?

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Speaker 1: If you're a rookie, turn it off. You can turn

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Speaker 1: the sound off.

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Speaker 3: Because I'm charging it.

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Speaker 1: This is what happens. And then she'll put it in

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Speaker 1: the kitchen at night, Yeah, and not turn it off.

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Speaker 1: I'll be like Lisa, turn off the phone and it's

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Speaker 1: a barking noise.

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Speaker 3: I know it's a barking ring tone.

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Speaker 1: It's ring tone, not even a text. So it continues

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Speaker 1: to bark until the person hangs up.

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Speaker 3: By the way, Lise, I love your hair today. She

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Speaker 3: has her hair and like that the clip you wear

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Speaker 3: it like this too, Lala, I need to start. It's

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Speaker 3: a very like Y two K hairstyle that's back. But

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Speaker 3: it's like the big clock clips. They're so cute. But wait,

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Speaker 3: let's go back to Bethany Frank.

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Speaker 1: Bethany Frankel gets on whether it was TikTok. I saw

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Speaker 1: it on her Instagram. She's talking about the Kardashians, and

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Speaker 1: she's like, what are we teaching people? Take it all,

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Speaker 1: don't stop until it's all yours. If there's a scandal,

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Speaker 1: do charity to cover up the plastic surgery? Are we

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Speaker 1: teaching like, have plastic surgery until you feel confident. She

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Speaker 1: just was on a rampage and you know how she

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Speaker 1: goes like, I love Bethany Frankel so much, like there's

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Speaker 1: not many people I look up to in this world.

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Speaker 1: I look up to her, maybe because it's I watched

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Speaker 1: her since the beginning, and just like where she came from,

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Speaker 1: what she built, she kept her eye on the prize

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Speaker 1: the entire time. She went through a horrific relationship and

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Speaker 1: then to top it all off, this is a crisis

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Speaker 1: her be strong. It was just like the whole package

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Speaker 1: for me is like that. I want that. Yeah, Like

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Speaker 1: I will listen to Bethany Frankel. Right, we've talked about

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Speaker 1: this before. If people are giving you advice and they

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Speaker 1: don't have what you want, But however, if they're giving

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Speaker 1: you advice based on experiences that they've had, listen to

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Speaker 1: them as well. Because I remember talking to James and

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Speaker 1: he said to me, why would I listen to you? Like,

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Speaker 1: look at where you are, And I'm like, that's why

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Speaker 1: you should listen to me. Right, I'm telling you what

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Speaker 1: not to do what I've learned from. Correct, listen to me.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, look at the ship I've been

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Speaker 1: through and where I am right now. Listen to me.

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Speaker 1: My word is worth gold. You can take that ship

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Speaker 1: to the bank, all right, they'll put it in a

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Speaker 1: vault for you. It's worth something. Yeah, So listen to me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to waste my precious gold on

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Speaker 1: you if you're not gonna listen.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's a shame that we don't have video

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Speaker 3: because that's when Lala goes out in her rants and

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Speaker 3: the hands start going.

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Speaker 1: That's like, just watch vander Pump and there we see

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Speaker 1: what the two fingers go up. Yeah, you shut your

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Speaker 1: filthy fucking mouth as kiddy. Yeah, we literally hear that.

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Speaker 1: It's the whole thing today that I love her. She

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Speaker 1: takes all this sense in the world to me, and

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Speaker 1: I think she's hysterical. And she always starts every video

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Speaker 1: when she goes on a tangent where it's like, cancel me.

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Speaker 1: I don't care. This is what it is, this is

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Speaker 1: how I feel, and it's like I don't don't think

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Speaker 1: she ever gets canceled because she's like I don't care. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and she's like worth a lot of fucking money. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know that's why.

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Speaker 3: And she's so honest and she'll I just love it

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Speaker 3: her product reviews. I mean I love it for everything.

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Speaker 3: I followed her a while ago, but she does the

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Speaker 3: most honest product reviews and she'll say is this worth

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Speaker 3: your money?

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Speaker 1: Is this not?

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Speaker 3: And there are some products that.

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Speaker 1: Have been shadow band though for a lot of her reviews. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she talked about it. She's like, I know, Chris Jenner

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Speaker 1: runs the media. I got it. I we're sick of it.

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Speaker 1: I'm being water Kardashian waterboarded. We all are. I know.

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Speaker 1: Even the media is like, are you fucking kidding me?

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Speaker 1: I gotta cover this again, I gotta cover this family again. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But it's like, I want to be a Kardashian, Lisa.

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Speaker 1: Start running the fucking media, all right, Helle, trying to

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Speaker 1: hit one point eight? All right, come on, really, I

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Speaker 1: don't care that much. All I want to do is

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Speaker 1: be in the bed and watch Jersey Shore. I know.

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Speaker 1: And Lisa had never seen Game of Thrones before, so

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Speaker 1: you're rewatching it with rewatching it, and everyone's like, you

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Speaker 1: don't need to watch that to watch house. Is it

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Speaker 1: House of the Dragon or House of Dragons? I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's House of the Dragon. I think, okay, well the

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Speaker 1: new one. And I'm like, but you kind of do

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Speaker 1: because I think it's about the Targarian it is, and

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Speaker 1: you want to be invested, Like, why do I care

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Speaker 1: about these Targarians if I've never seen Game of Thrones. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's fully.

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Speaker 3: Invested, and you are, wait, have you gotten to the

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Speaker 3: little Kid? I don't even know what season this was,

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Speaker 3: the little boy who's like the tyrant king. Yeah you have.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're waiting for him to die. Okay, Jeffrey Geoffrey, Non.

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Speaker 3: Was it Jeoffrey? There's another one? Okay, Okay, I'm not

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Speaker 3: gonna say there's another one.

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Speaker 1: And he's like trigger playing with your nails. She's she's

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Speaker 1: gonna tell me the story.

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Speaker 3: Wine, there's another one. And all I'm gonna say is

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Speaker 3: for the listeners who are like, who's she talking about?

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Speaker 3: Hole in the ground, That's all I'm gonna say.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I don't think we're there. Yeah, okay, I don't know. See,

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Speaker 1: I've seen it, but I've kind of forgotten, like I remember, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like the Red Wedding. Yes, don't tell her that's my

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Speaker 1: next episode.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yeah, I'm actually that's great that you

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Speaker 3: get to experience this with her. That's awesome.

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Speaker 1: I know. Stacy was like, I'm so jealous that you've

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Speaker 1: never experienced it and you're getting to right now. Because

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Speaker 1: Stassy's obsessed. Mom, Yeah, no, obsessed. People call her Kalisi

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Speaker 1: because she's so obsessed.

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Speaker 3: Oh, Kalisi the Dragon Queen, Queen of Dragons, the Mother

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Speaker 3: of Dragons, Mother of Dragons, something like that.

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Speaker 1: The best show ever. I am really excited as well

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Speaker 1: as feeling very very honored because I was asked if

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Speaker 1: it was okay, which I was like, beyond okay to

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Speaker 1: be honored at the Brent Shapiro Foundation event this year,

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Speaker 1: which for those of you who are not familiar, it

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Speaker 1: is Robert Shapiro's and Robert and Linnelle Shapiro's foundation that

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Speaker 1: they started. I want to say they said maybe fifteen

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Speaker 1: years ago, maybe longer. Okay, they lost their son, drugs

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Speaker 1: and alcohol were involved, and so they started this foundation

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Speaker 1: where there's an incentive for people to stay sober, okay,

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Speaker 1: not pick up, not drink, not use, and they give

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Speaker 1: away scholarships. Wow, it's incredible. I have chills just talking

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Speaker 1: about it. And they are honoring me this year on

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Speaker 1: Saturday for my sobriety.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is so exciting. It's gonna be so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's got tears in her eyes. Now, how are

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Speaker 3: you gonna be when you're giving a speech.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a sobbing mice I really hope that

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Speaker 1: I can keep it together because you know, these kids

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Speaker 1: that have stayed sober, they're getting money to go to

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Speaker 1: college and have a bright, right future, and I don't

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Speaker 1: think people realize, well, maybe they do. I'm extremely passionate

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Speaker 1: about my sobriety. It's the proudest thing I've ever done

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Speaker 1: in my whole life. I can be around drinking. I

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Speaker 1: can't say that a lot of people that are sober,

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Speaker 1: you know, that can be triggering for them. My own

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Speaker 1: personal experience, which I'm grateful for, because it's not lost

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Speaker 1: on me that sobriety can be taken from you like

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Speaker 1: that just by you picking up. You could be sober

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Speaker 1: thirty years and it's gone in thirty seconds and you're

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Speaker 1: a newcomer again. So I'm extremely I will hit four

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Speaker 1: years but again one day at a time on October

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Speaker 1: twenty second, and it's just beyond you know. I can

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Speaker 1: be around it. I don't feel triggered, and I thank

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Speaker 1: God every day because it is one day at a time.

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Speaker 1: But it's just it's amazing, and it's not an easy path,

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Speaker 1: especially with the environment that I'm in, you know, filming

385
00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:01,119
Speaker 1: a reality TV show. I constantly battle staying true to

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Speaker 1: my program and also going into a reality TV space

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00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 1: where your opinions and your thoughts are heard. They matter,

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Speaker 1: But you also want to be soft and delicate. So

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Speaker 1: I'm just because you're in the program does not mean

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00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 1: that you turn into Jesus or you know, the person

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Speaker 1: who's turning the other cheek and doing all of those things.

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Speaker 1: We're still human. There's still a lot of amends that

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Speaker 1: I have to make on a daily basis, and I'm

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Speaker 1: okay with that. I am very, very honored to be

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Speaker 1: honored this year at the Brent Shapiro Foundation event on Saturday. Yay. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So those of you who have not heard of this,

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Speaker 1: please look it up. It's going to be spectacular. It is, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is, And I have to give a speech. It's

399
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Speaker 1: gonna be great, and it's gonna be thank you Mom,

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00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,119
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be after the kids who you know,

401
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 1: get their scholarships. I'm gonna be a hot mess.

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Speaker 3: But you know what is so amazing is that they

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Speaker 3: everyone who works with the branch a Her Foundation is

404
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 3: incredible and it's a very small group of people that

405
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 3: makes huge stuff happen. But they had offered like, hey,

406
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 3: we'll send you Lalla an outline, and Lalla I was like, yeah,

407
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,160
Speaker 3: let's do that. And Lala was like, you know, I'm

408
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Speaker 3: just gonna go up there and speak from my heart.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, I was very taken aback by that,

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00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 3: because someone like me would be like, give me bullet points.

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Speaker 3: I'm reading from a prompter. But you're just gonna hop

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Speaker 3: up there and speak from your heart. And I think

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Speaker 3: it's going to be so much more impactful and special.

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Speaker 3: I'm very excited for that.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited too. I am a little nervous though you're

416
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Speaker 1: gonna do, right, I'm very nervous. There's this person also

417
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,360
Speaker 1: that I found on the gram who is fine as

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Speaker 1: it gets. His name is Darren Waller. By the way,

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Speaker 1: if he has a girlfriend, can you guys just let

420
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Speaker 1: me know she's totally fine disengage. But I'm telling you sober,

421
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 1: fine tattoos. Yeah my type of dude. I just like

422
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 1: it all all right from what the gram portrays. Yeah. Yeah,

423
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 1: But I'm like, how does one get in touch with

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Speaker 1: this human?

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00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,879
Speaker 3: This is a good Maybe someone will DM you and

426
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Speaker 3: be like hey, I I work with Darren, or I

427
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,199
Speaker 3: wrap him or whatever. He's not very active on the

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Speaker 3: ground because I think you mentioned him once. I tried

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Speaker 3: to cyber stop him and I was like, huh, he's

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Speaker 3: not very active on that, or or maybe his people are.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who knows. If he has a girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: he better treat her right. I respect it and good

433
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 1: for him, good for her too. If not, like where yet,

434
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,919
Speaker 1: where yet? Slid in the DM. I'm very active in

435
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 1: the DM. You know, come one, come all, No one's safe.

436
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 1: No one's safe once you pass that PI check. Come one,

437
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 1: come all into my house. What do you want? I

438
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:50,640
Speaker 1: don't care. Lay it down, baby. No. He went from

439
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 1: honoring me at sobriety. So DM, we have a good

440
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 1: guest today. She slid in my DM. I saw it.

441
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 1: She wanted to shed light on body dysmorphia BDD is

442
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 1: what it's called body dysmorphic disorder, and I wanted her

443
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 1: to shed light Like what she said in her DM,

444
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 1: I was like, I gotta have you on the podcast.

445
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 1: Her name is Robin Stern. We are having her on

446
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 1: the podcast to talk about BDD, which is body dysmorphic disorder.

447
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 1: I did have people slide in the DM on the

448
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 1: podcast page and say that I need to start doing

449
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 1: trigger warnings. I apologize if you've ever listened to one

450
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,159
Speaker 1: of my podcasts and been triggered by it. That was

451
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 1: never my intention. So going forward, if I have anything

452
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: that I feel is we're deep diving into some deep stuff,

453
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 1: I will let you know. So here it is. This

454
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:48,400
Speaker 1: is your trigger warning, my loves, and I hope this helps, right,

455
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 1: I love you guys. We have Robin Stern up next. First,

456
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: for our listeners, I kind of want them to know

457
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 1: what it is that you do, Like you slid in

458
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,479
Speaker 1: my DM and said you wanted to talk about some

459
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,440
Speaker 1: things that Obviously it resonated with me because here we are,

460
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: so just kind of break it down for my listeners.

461
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 2: Okay, So I am a therapist. I specialize in body

462
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 2: justs morphic disorder and I do work in New York,

463
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,879
Speaker 2: California or Florida, New Jersey. And I myself have body

464
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 2: dismorphic disorder and I've struggled with it probably since my lateeens.

465
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 2: I'm forty two, we'll got to be forty two. And

466
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 2: so body dysmorphic disorder is a distortion and how one

467
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 2: sees themselves and they focus on perceived defects in their

468
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 2: appearance that no one else sees, and it affects them,

469
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 2: cut to the core of who they are, and it

470
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 2: makes them hard for them to live life and to

471
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 2: engage in friendships, and they tend to, you know, want

472
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 2: to get plastic surgery or cosmetic procedures, but ultimately it

473
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 2: leads them to feeling very depressed, could leave them to

474
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 2: using substance abuse. And so yeah, and so this is

475
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 2: just such an important platform. And I think resonated with

476
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,360
Speaker 2: me with your particular platform as your honesty, and I

477
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 2: think that as celebrity being honest about whatever it is

478
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,159
Speaker 2: you do. I think people that are vulnerable to that

479
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 2: really appreciate that, because there's a lot of people that

480
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 2: you know, are posting and they're acting like I look

481
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 2: like this out of nowhere, and it's it's very detrimental

482
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 2: to people that are struggling because they're looking at these

483
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 2: pictures and they're like, why don't I look this way?

484
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 3: Right?

485
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 2: And so I think, you know, I don't tell people

486
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 2: like you shouldn't filter, you shouldn't do those things. I

487
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 2: think it's great, but I love like I think you

488
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: posted the other day like like you love the filter,

489
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,399
Speaker 2: and I'm like, yes, thank you for being honest, like

490
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 2: thank you for being real, because clients that come see

491
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:45,199
Speaker 2: me are devastated when they're looking at pictures and they're like,

492
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 2: why don't I look this way? Like why can I

493
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 2: look this way? And it's like they don't look this way.

494
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,160
Speaker 1: Right well, and I feel like it doesn't even you.

495
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 1: You look at these women who you know, because I've

496
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 1: even been there where I'm scrolling the gram and I'm like,

497
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this person is so stunning and it

498
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: looks very natural, and Lord knows that they were in

499
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: all the apps that I'm going into as well. But

500
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: I feel like even those people that have the stunning

501
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 1: photos are looking at other people's instagrams thinking the exact

502
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 1: same thing.

503
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 3: It's so funny. We were just talking about this, just

504
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 3: the harm that it does when people aren't honest. Do

505
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 3: you think it affects young people when they're just starting

506
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 3: to get on socials a little more than more mature people,

507
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 3: or it kind of affects everyone differently.

508
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 2: I definitely think the young people are more aware that

509
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 2: I do think there's a sense of when you're younger,

510
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 2: your appearance does impact how you see yourself in relation

511
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 2: to other people, but I think it affects all people

512
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 2: across the board, and I think it's just again, I'm

513
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 2: all about like looking good and if you want to

514
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 2: use those filters in grit, but I think the honesty

515
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: has to be there, and I think there's so little

516
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: honesty with that and it's so detrimental. I mean, what's

517
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: scary about this disorder is that one in four people

518
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 2: attempt suicide and eighty percent of people have suicidal ideation.

519
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 2: And that's severe. Like we're talking and this is a

520
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 2: diagnosis that most people don't talk about, Like I didn't

521
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,239
Speaker 2: talk about it, like I didn't know about it. I

522
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 2: literally walked through like my college life like I'm just ugly,

523
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 2: I'm just gross, like I don't deserve to be alive.

524
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 2: And this is how it felt. And this is before

525
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 2: social media, right, so this is just like I so honestly,

526
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine what kids now who have access

527
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 2: to all of this, what they feel like it's just

528
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 2: a lot of pressure. Ironically, living in LA didn't feel pressure.

529
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 2: I can't explain that. I don't know if it's because

530
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,399
Speaker 2: and I lived like in West Hollywood. I don't know

531
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 2: if it's just a little bit different living there versus

532
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 2: what people put on social media. But yeah, I do

533
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 2: think it affects kids, and I think it affects them

534
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 2: wanting to get work done earlier, and this notion of

535
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 2: like I need to look perfect or look fake to

536
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,640
Speaker 2: be happy and okay.

537
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 3: Member a time when you were younger that you maybe

538
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 3: felt okay and there was a specific time where you're like,

539
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 3: wait a second, I'm somebody made fun of you or anything.

540
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 3: Do you remember that moment?

541
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 1: What was that moment?

542
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,959
Speaker 2: So for me, it's funny. I got the diagnosis when

543
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 2: I was twenty two, but I was bullied since the

544
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 2: age of nine. I have curly hair, I'm Jewish, and

545
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 2: when I was younger, people made front of my hair

546
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 2: every single day. And what was crazy was that it

547
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,399
Speaker 2: was a group of eight girls that were my best friends.

548
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 2: So it's like one thing to be bullied, but it's

549
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 2: like another thing. It's like when your girls are bullying you,

550
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,479
Speaker 2: and it was like it was just at that point.

551
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 2: I think it's just I always talk as a therapist

552
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,919
Speaker 2: like your formative years, right, so being like a twelve

553
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 2: year old and you're trying to figure out who you

554
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,360
Speaker 2: are in relation to other people. And your friends are like,

555
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 2: you're not good enough, Like my friends went and they

556
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 2: would make fun of me. Every day at lunch, I

557
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 2: would go to the nurse's office, like they didn't even

558
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 2: pick it up. At school, I was getting like twenties

559
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 2: on tests, like they didn't figure it out. And then

560
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 2: like they would go to ice skating lessons and they

561
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 2: wouldn't include me, And it really took a toll. And

562
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 2: at that point I didn't know until years later, like

563
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 2: I did feel different. I was like, they don't want

564
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 2: to hang out with me because of my hair, so

565
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 2: then there's something wrong with me. And ironically that wasn't

566
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 2: the issue that became the focus of my BBB. But

567
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 2: I do believe that that was an experience where all

568
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 2: of a sudden, I went from feeling like this happy

569
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 2: little girl to this girl that like shouldn't even be here.

570
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 2: And I grew up in a family that like loved me,

571
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 2: and there was definitely a lot of focus on appearance,

572
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 2: but it was like I was accepted and then all

573
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 2: of a sudden, like just rejected and not rejected on

574
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 2: rejected based upon how it looked, you know, growing up

575
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 2: on Long Islands. I don't know if you know anything

576
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 2: about that in New York, it's like it's next. It's

577
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: like almost as bad as well. It's like NXT.

578
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: I really like it's very much about the outer appearance.

579
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 2: It's like keeping up with the Joneses. It's like ridiculous.

580
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 2: It is a Now you know, I'm a single mom,

581
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 2: I'm having two and a half year old boy, and

582
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, I need to get out of here, Like

583
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 2: I do not want to raise my kid in this obviously,

584
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 2: I'll be honest, I have a little PTSD. I'm in

585
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 2: my hometown, so like being back here is like very

586
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 2: surreal for me. I lives in LA for eleven years,

587
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: and so the idea of him going to the schools

588
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 2: that I went to. I definitely work through it in therapy,

589
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 2: but it's still very like it's triggering.

590
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: Yes, anything that that when people say that they're triggered,

591
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: it means that you're taking them back to a place

592
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 1: that they've been before that was not a happy experience

593
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: or moment, and those moments are hard to work through.

594
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: I mean, even me at the age of thirty two,

595
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: there are still things that you know, I remember from

596
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: a child that people would make fun of, where it's

597
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 1: like I even though yes I'm older now and I've

598
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: learned to love every part of me, there are things

599
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: that happen sometimes where I'm like, this is taking me

600
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 1: back to a place that is way too familiar and

601
00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 1: not enjoyable.

602
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, so it's it's hard. I mean, and

603
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 2: and you asked that question. And honestly, they never asked

604
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 2: that question when I was diagnosed, and so that was

605
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 2: never important for them to I always say, like hear

606
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 2: my story. It was never important for them to know

607
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 2: my story. They just were like you have buy it's

608
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 2: warm for a disorder. They didn't necessarily tie it back

609
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 2: to like what possibly could have caused it. There is

610
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 2: genetic components to it, but definitely being bullied like that

611
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 2: and because of my appearance, and it was in multiple areas,

612
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 2: like it was in Sleepway Camp. It was like five

613
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 2: boys at first, and then it was again when you're

614
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 2: close friends do that too. It's I can't. I still

615
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 2: struggle with it today. I'll be honest, I have a

616
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 2: very hard time keeping female friendships. And I know what

617
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 2: like I you know, they were my friends, they were

618
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 2: my best friends. And what's messed up is like I

619
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 2: hung out with them after I confronted them, Like, so

620
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 2: I stayed close with like my bullies.

621
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: Right, they were your safe place and they were like

622
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: ultimately like your your mental abuse users. And that happens

623
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: a lot where people are, you know, whatever type of

624
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,479
Speaker 1: abuse they're experiencing, they become comfortable in that situation and

625
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 1: that's why you stick around.

626
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I will say I wish my therapist would

627
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 2: have worked on that because it ended up trickling into

628
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 2: my adult life with every man that I dated that

629
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: ended up being toxic like no other. So I also

630
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 2: related to you there been there, done that with the narcissist,

631
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 2: and it's a lot of that was because I didn't

632
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 2: feel worth it. And I'm still struggling with that, you know,

633
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 2: like what I lost not only to disorder, but like

634
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 2: how even in my recovery, like what the typical treatment is,

635
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 2: which is like not engaging in mirror checking and not

636
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 2: engaging and like getting cosmetic procedures, but they didn't like

637
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: help me like figure out like it's okay to be

638
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 2: me and like to love myself. And so what ended

639
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 2: up happening was I ended up not like not being

640
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 2: able to truly love myself and then I ended up

641
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 2: attracting like the worst of the worst.

642
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,719
Speaker 1: Right, it trickles into every aspect of your life. So

643
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: then how how does someone know if they have BDD?

644
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: Because like, Lord knows, I love me some injections, love

645
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 1: the boattos, give me a little lip, But like I

646
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 1: feel like I dig myself. You know, I've grown out

647
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 1: of a lot of my insecurities where I'm like, you

648
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: know what, it works, and I'm going to be grateful

649
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 1: for it, but I do like my ear. I could

650
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 1: not get past the ear. I've been subconscious about it

651
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: since I was a child, and I knew that there

652
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 1: was something I could do about it, so I went

653
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 1: and fixed it. But at what point do you say, Okay,

654
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: I have body dysmorphic disorder, or like I just want

655
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: a little thing to amp up what I already got,

656
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: Like where's where's the line.

657
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 3: That is such a I was thinking that too, because

658
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 3: it's like I feel like most of my friends growing up,

659
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 3: including myself, we all picked apart ourselves constantly. But at

660
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 3: this point in time, I definitely don't think I have BDD,

661
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 3: and I'm sure people who might say, oh I have,

662
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 3: It's like the OCD you know, and the people who go, oh,

663
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 3: I'm the OCD went to one, you're not.

664
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 2: It makes me nuts as somebody who has had like

665
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 2: four medical leaves. I had to miss my first semester

666
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: of my senior of college, like I couldn't leave my house.

667
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 2: So like that drives me nuts. But I think what

668
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 2: to say is so example, someone let's say, who likes

669
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 2: to get those that stuff done like photops or Fellers,

670
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 2: that's great, but person with B to D feels like

671
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 2: if I need to get it done for me to

672
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: be okay in this world or otherwise like I can't function,

673
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 2: I am not okay, like no one's gonna love me.

674
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 2: I am Like the core belief is like I am defective,

675
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 2: I am disgusting, I am worthless, and only if I

676
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: get those things done then I'm going to be okay.

677
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 2: And I think that's where like, yes, I think they

678
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 2: use this word like body dysmorphia and it's really not

679
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 2: the real word, but it's the same thing as saying

680
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 2: like you're a little OCD. It's more related to body

681
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 2: image issues, right, But when you're looking at the true disorder,

682
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 2: you're looking how does it disrupt functioning? So that's where

683
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 2: the difference is. You may not love what you look like,

684
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 2: but it's like okay, for instance, like you know, you

685
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 2: may not have loved your ear, but was it like

686
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 2: stopping you from like making friends or going out or

687
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 2: living your life? And now there's a continuum, you know

688
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 2: with people with BDD, there's some people that literally are

689
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 2: housebound they can't leave, and then there's people that can

690
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,240
Speaker 2: function that like are thinking about it twenty four seven.

691
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 2: But the ultimate thing is most of them kind of

692
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 2: will resonate with this notion of like when I get

693
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 2: these procedures done, like I'm going to be okay. Like

694
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 2: I had a former client, like his notion this is

695
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 2: before he saw me. He went and got a nose job,

696
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 2: and in his mind he's like, I'm going to be

697
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 2: famous after like my life's going to be so different.

698
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to be this other person. And I'm like, okay,

699
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,479
Speaker 2: if that's what you think you're going to get from,

700
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 2: like whatever procedure, we need to look at that, like

701
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 2: if you think you're going to become a totally different individual,

702
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 2: Because I hear this all the time, like oh, with

703
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 2: all these people, the Kardashi, and they must have BEDD

704
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, they don't like no, And I'll

705
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 2: tell you why because I don't. I was literally catching

706
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 2: up because you got me into like catching up with

707
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 2: these old shows. What I've never watched them, and I'm

708
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,760
Speaker 2: watching like crti astually one and I'm like, wow, Chloe

709
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 2: looks so different and power to her like I'm all

710
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,280
Speaker 2: about doing you. But I'm like, let's keep the narrative

711
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 2: like real and that's it again. But I totally reside.

712
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 2: So the difference is someone with BDD wouldn't feel comfortable

713
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 2: probably one being on television, and two wouldn't probably go

714
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 2: back to the places where they've been where they looked

715
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 2: completely different. So she, like it, tends and goes to

716
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 2: every place she's been to when she looks like a

717
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 2: completely different person ten to fifteen years ago as she

718
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,879
Speaker 2: goes to today. So I think, you know, how would

719
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 2: you really tell the difference between someone with BDD and

720
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 2: just body image issues? Do they like I hate to say,

721
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 2: like really hate themselves? Do they feel defective? That was

722
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 2: huge thing with me, Like I felt de effective, like

723
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 2: to the core to the core of who I was.

724
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:10,720
Speaker 2: It made no logical sense. I mean, it was horrible

725
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 2: and truthfully, you know, this notion For me, it was

726
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 2: my skin. So this notion of like if I had

727
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 2: clear skin, like like I was like, i'll have a boyfriend,

728
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 2: I'll have this all my best life, Like skin isn't

729
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 2: supposed to give you that. That's not to say you

730
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,359
Speaker 2: don't people with BDD shouldn't take care of themselves, but

731
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 2: none of your physical attributes should be able to give

732
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: you the quality of life that you think it's going

733
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 2: to be. And that's I think the biggest difference. And

734
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,280
Speaker 2: again why I respect your platform. It's like you're honest,

735
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 2: like you're taking us in with you to get good.

736
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 2: But there's so many people that are not honest. And

737
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 2: I get privacy and I respect that. I do, I

738
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 2: understand that, but I think as you know, matter as

739
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,840
Speaker 2: a public figure, it's like people are looking to you

740
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 2: and they're like they're like you know, and if you

741
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 2: have people being like no, like I got nothing done,

742
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,959
Speaker 2: like nothing done, and I'm just like really, like there's

743
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: only so much like filters and stuff that's good, you

744
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 2: know what I mean. But it's like, you know, my

745
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 2: message is never about not getting things done, it's about understanding,

746
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,399
Speaker 2: Like for people with BDD, like they're looking at people

747
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 2: and thinking like they're supposed to wake up and look

748
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 2: this way, right, and and that you know, the message

749
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 2: is like I've gotten like you know, even Jlow, like

750
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 2: I mean I love like you know what's like you know,

751
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 2: whether she has or has And it's like people think like,

752
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 2: oh so if I put all of oil on my face,

753
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna get botox. I mean okay, Like and again,

754
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 2: I think when you go back to what people with

755
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 2: BDD really struggle with, they just they feel different. They

756
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 2: feel like almost like a monster. They don't feel like

757
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 2: I used to just feel like I just didn't look

758
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 2: like everybody else like and I don't mean that like

759
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 2: in a way that like we all look different, Like

760
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 2: I literally just felt like so like.

761
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: Odd, Yeah, you felt just out of place, like you

762
00:37:55,040 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 1: didn't belong. I can't even image and where you would

763
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: start with someone who has like I guess it would

764
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 1: be like self loathing, like doesn't feel good enough, nothing

765
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 1: is good. They think things will fix them if they

766
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 1: get a little boat box or filler, but it's it's

767
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 1: obviously an internal thing that they're battling. How do you

768
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 1: bring someone out of that well.

769
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 2: I always, especially with my narrative, my personal story, I'll

770
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 2: always kind of go back to that initially and be like, look,

771
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 2: I've been where you've been, so let's try to build

772
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 2: that rapport and trust that and then kind of bring

773
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,800
Speaker 2: back to you have this disorder. And out of UCLA

774
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 2: they've done like MRI studies, So actually, my brain lights

775
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 2: up differently, let's say, than your brains because you don't

776
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 2: have it. And so what they've seen and the research

777
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 2: is people with med their spatial processing is different, so

778
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 2: how they interpret their image is different than somebody that

779
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 2: doesn't have it. So I give them a lot of

780
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,919
Speaker 2: psycho education about what this disorder is. I also try

781
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 2: to tell them, look, if what your concerns are are

782
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,879
Speaker 2: real and valid, you wouldn't meet criteria for the diagnosis.

783
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 2: And I mean that, of course, it's could be, you know,

784
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 2: feel detrimental when someone has sistic acne all over their

785
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: face or if they have some birth defects, it can

786
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 2: take a toll on how they feel mentally and how

787
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 2: they navigate through the world. But in the same respect,

788
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 2: if the person is staring at me and there's nothing

789
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 2: going on, then I'm like, you need criteria for this

790
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 2: disorder because it's a perception of a small or non

791
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 2: existent defect that nobody sees, right, So it's like they

792
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 2: say it, but nobody else does. So we start there

793
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 2: and then we start to pull away the layers. And

794
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,959
Speaker 2: I think the hardest part is that most people, both

795
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 2: of you, I'm sure, know what it is that you

796
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 2: look like, and people with BBB they're not going to.

797
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 2: And that is a hard thing that you have to

798
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 2: tell people. Even myself, like I've come to terms with

799
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 2: don't really know what it is that I look like.

800
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:50,479
Speaker 2: And I have to kind of sit with that because

801
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 2: if I go back to like where I was, where

802
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 2: I was like going in and out of the mirror

803
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 2: wanting to look a certain way, like I had no

804
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 2: quality of life. And so I have to kind of

805
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 2: tell clients like we need to make your parents can matter,

806
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 2: but it also can't be your.

807
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: Focus can't be the end all be all right, So.

808
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 2: It has to be like like you're a good friend,

809
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 2: you're a good mother, like you know, if like you're

810
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 2: a good son, like student with all these other attributes,

811
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 2: and nine times out of ten, if not really tenants

812
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 2: and every client that comes in ninety percent of their

813
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 2: value and worth is their appearance. So you start off

814
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 2: with like you have nothing like to work like you

815
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 2: really there's some people have zero insight. They'll come in

816
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 2: and be like no, like don't you know, Robin, Like

817
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 2: if I have a bad hair day, like how do

818
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 2: you go out? I'm like, no, that's not like a

819
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: normal thing. Do you understand that? Like you can have

820
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 2: a bad hair day, but like you still have to

821
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 2: function like your hair. Like I remember with my skin,

822
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 2: like my dot, my therapist would be like, Robin, that's

823
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 2: not what skin was designed. Skin was not designed for

824
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 2: it to be clear. Like my thing was like acne

825
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 2: and you know obviously as I got older, like it

826
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 2: was like fine lines and stuff like that, and my

827
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 2: thing was what my therapist was like, it's not supposed

828
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 2: to be designed to be clear, Like you've placed that

829
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 2: attribute on that. But your skin is just the largest

830
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,280
Speaker 2: organ of your body that's protecting you. Like people place

831
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 2: with BDD like like a power and a relationship on

832
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 2: their appearance part and no one's supposed to have it.

833
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,959
Speaker 2: And we start there and we start to remove because

834
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 2: oftentimes there's behaviors they're asking for reassurance they're doing a

835
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 2: ton of checking, so they'll go in and out of

836
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 2: the mirror. They'll take like three hundred selfies in like

837
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 2: twenty minutes. They'll do like videos of themselves, they'll avoid

838
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 2: going out in bright lights, they'll do a lot of camouflage.

839
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 2: And there's so many different behaviors. So we start to

840
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 2: remove some of the behaviors. The thoughts are very hard,

841
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,439
Speaker 2: you know, the thoughts of because usually what it tends

842
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 2: to happen is as you move the appearance concern a way,

843
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 2: you really are left with that. They feel horrible as even.

844
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 3: Being it sounds like BDD, it's accompanied by other things

845
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 3: a lot of times or not it's OCD, because when

846
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 3: you say things like taking three hundred selfies checking the

847
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,359
Speaker 3: mirror all day every day, I don't know if that's

848
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 3: a common thing, but it sounds like it could be

849
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 3: particularly a battle because maybe it's not just BDD, but

850
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 3: also OCD or addiction. I don't know if addiction to

851
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 3: exercise or and I had I saw a video about

852
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 3: you saying you at one point stayed inside for thirty days.

853
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 3: What what was that about? I mean, what what was

854
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 3: that from?

855
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,839
Speaker 2: And how it's crazy? So I've never spoken company about

856
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 2: it with an outlet. So I was on acutine and

857
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 2: back in the day, and it led to like some

858
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 2: facial hair growth, so I felt like I needed to

859
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 2: get electrialsis and she like like gave me like full likeulitis.

860
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 2: So I like broke out all over my neck and

861
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:52,760
Speaker 2: I could not That was like my biggest trigger. But again,

862
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 2: do I think somebody would be uncomfortable with a breakout? Absolutely?

863
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 2: Do I think it would get them to the point

864
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 2: where it's like I had like these eight am and

865
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 2: friends in college and lived in a house like I

866
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 2: had like my life there, did I like intellectually now,

867
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 2: do I think they would reject me as a friend?

868
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 2: I mean, granted that's what happens to me as a kid,

869
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 2: but no, I just couldn't leave my house, like I

870
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 2: literally I was like and my parents didn't know what

871
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:19,839
Speaker 2: to do with me. I was like on and off

872
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 2: different medications and I just ended up taking the semester

873
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 2: off and was in some type of like group therapy

874
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 2: at that point. Didn't get the diagnosis of bad and

875
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 2: was basically told like I need to look at the

876
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,800
Speaker 2: person next to me because he just lost his wife.

877
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 2: For fifty you just can't get out of the mirror

878
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 2: and you just don't like your skin. And I'm like, okay,

879
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 2: like you don't get like this has kind of been

880
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 2: And then I think that's also what makes it harder,

881
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,800
Speaker 2: is like you hear people talk about their parents and

882
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, you're vain, Like no, like this isn't

883
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: a bad manity, like I didn't want to live, Like

884
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,439
Speaker 2: that's serious. And I actually did not get the diagnosis

885
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 2: till route a year and a half after that, so

886
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 2: I was walking around after that like not knowing. I

887
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 2: still just thought this was an appearance issue, like I'm

888
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 2: just ugly and grows. And then it was like a

889
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,399
Speaker 2: year and a half later my mom found somebody who

890
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 2: gave me the diagnosis at that point. But yeah, I mean,

891
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 2: people do stay house down. I mean, and I have

892
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,919
Speaker 2: clients that you know, really won't leave or won't even

893
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,839
Speaker 2: attempt to do therapy until they get their procedures done

894
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: or and it's and it's a really hard thing because

895
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 2: you know it would be great if like people assessed

896
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 2: for it, but the reality is gerrmatologists and best surgeons

897
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 2: won't all effect their income.

898
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 1: Correct, Ye, No, at all they like us coming in. Yeah,

899
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,720
Speaker 1: I relate to I relate to the skin thing because

900
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,760
Speaker 1: when everyone was like going through, you know, their awkward

901
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 1: phase of like hitting puberty, breaking out, getting braces. Like

902
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 1: I got my braces off right before I went into

903
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 1: the seventh grade, so I was looking all snatched right

904
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 1: for the for the eighth graders with my straight teeth.

905
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: And I really didn't have skin issues until after high school.

906
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you what the amount of things I

907
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 1: missed out on because I would not leave the house

908
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 1: and I would obsess in the mirror. I would go

909
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 1: back hundreds of times to see if the breakout was

910
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 1: still happening. I would wake up in the morning and

911
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 1: be so depressed that the morning had come because I

912
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 1: had to deal with my skin again and it wouldn't stop.

913
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 1: You know. It was like the hormonal breakout where it's like,

914
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 1: how do I get this under control. I Also, it

915
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 1: wasn't accutane that I went on, because I think that

916
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: they like moved that off because of a lot of

917
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,360
Speaker 1: right side after side effects. But I did something different

918
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: and it did clear my skin up. But I'm telling you,

919
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: the skin was debilitating for me, wasn't it.

920
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 2: In your book. Also, like when you were talking about

921
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 2: like yeah, that guy and you were like going to

922
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 2: sleep with the makeup on and see.

923
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it was horrific. And this was before you

924
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 1: could like go and and I didn't have social media

925
00:45:58,520 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 1: because I was like why would I post? You can

926
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: edit photos, you could pay someone to edit them for you,

927
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 1: but you didn't have like the quick app that you

928
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 1: could just like swipe face tune clear that SHITEP real quick.

929
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 1: So I totally relate. The difference is is once my

930
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: skin got clear, like I did start feeling like I

931
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,720
Speaker 1: could go out, and like it didn't. I don't feel

932
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: like it was something where I hated myself. I hated

933
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,799
Speaker 1: my fucking breakout. I needed it to end because there

934
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 1: was no amount of makeup in the world that could

935
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 1: like fix the texture, you know, with lighting. Like I

936
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: didn't want to go out in the daylight. That was

937
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 1: the worst thing. I remember going outside in the daylight

938
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 1: and seeing my reflection in the in the the window

939
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 1: and I was like just depressed about it. It was

940
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,359
Speaker 1: like I don't want to leave. I'll drive around with

941
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: my mom. She would go and get take out for us.

942
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 1: I wouldn't go in with her because I was so

943
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: self conscious about it.

944
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 3: Is there a way, like let's say someone young or

945
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,799
Speaker 3: not even young, starts going in that direction and it

946
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 3: starts getting a little more inside. They're staying inside more there,

947
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 3: and it starts interfering with their everyday lives. Is there

948
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 3: something that people can start doing that might help pull

949
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 3: them out of that so it doesn't start to maybe

950
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 3: take control.

951
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 2: So I think it's having like an honest dialogue of

952
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 2: being like, Okay, I know we live in an appearance

953
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 2: focused world, but like we also need to have other

954
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,359
Speaker 2: things about ourselves. And so with kids, it's just it's

955
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 2: just having that conversation. It's understanding where they are with

956
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 2: the breakouts, explaining I understand how you feel. It would

957
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,319
Speaker 2: also from a behavioral perspective would be like like your

958
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 2: mom and I know, like I mean, fortunately it didn't

959
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 2: turn into anything. It would be like, Okay, your mom's

960
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 2: gonna be like you need to go out and get

961
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 2: the takeout food yourself, Like I'm not going to like

962
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna wait, like you're not waiting in the park.

963
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're like you know what I mean, Like

964
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 2: I mean, and or would be like you're not going

965
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 2: out with makeups today, like but slowly going, you know,

966
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 2: and again does everybody. I think that's the thing. There's

967
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 2: clients that I see, especially young, where like it's questionable

968
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 2: if they have it or not right because there is

969
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 2: normalcy of like being self conscious with how you look,

970
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 2: I mean at all actually all aspects of life. But

971
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 2: I think it's about if there's any avoidant behaviors you

972
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 2: kind of push And I was gonna say, actually bad

973
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 2: is considered an OCD spectrum to swear, but there are

974
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 2: a lot of kind of similarities with like the obsessive

975
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 2: component and the compulsive component. The little bit of the

976
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 2: biggest difference is that people with b D kind of

977
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 2: still have a lot more trauma associated So there could

978
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 2: be abuse associated with it. There could be like bullying, teasing,

979
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,840
Speaker 2: which is my thing. It could be like a poor

980
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 2: family dynamics. We don't see that as much in OCD.

981
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 2: We see that more with BDD. But again, if you

982
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 2: start to notice, like younger things where maybe like they're

983
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 2: taking a lot of pictures, you might want to say

984
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,280
Speaker 2: like means you know, or like I'm constantly taking social

985
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 2: media breaks constantly. It's just to me, I mean, I

986
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 2: give you you have to be on social media, but

987
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 2: to me it's rot Like I just sometimes feel like

988
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 2: what am I even doing? I'll end up on somebody's

989
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 2: page that I don't even know, Like I don't even

990
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 2: know what I'm doing, and I'm like, what am I doing?

991
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 2: Like where do I get any Like I have a kid,

992
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 2: Like what am I doing here? Like? And so sometimes

993
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 2: I just have to go offline and I need like

994
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,800
Speaker 2: that like sense of coming back into the real world.

995
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 2: And so I always like that could be one thing,

996
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:26,360
Speaker 2: like maybe come off social media and just really having

997
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 2: like an honest dialogue. Let's say, if we're going to dermatologists,

998
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 2: like be honest with the dermatologist, Like be honest with

999
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 2: saying like, look, this is how I'm feeling. Again, what

1000
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 2: you notice people with BD is this very well or nothing?

1001
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 2: Thought process? Like I need to look a certain way

1002
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,399
Speaker 2: for me to be okay, and if not, like I

1003
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 2: just don't deserve to be, like truly don't deserve to

1004
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 2: be in this world. And it's sad, it's heartbreaking. There's

1005
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 2: been a lot of suicide loss to it, and there

1006
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 2: is a lot of comorbidity with addiction because they self

1007
00:49:57,120 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 2: medicate right, and so instead of talking about it, they

1008
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 2: go and numb out. And so you see the combination

1009
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 2: of both. And I've had a lot of clients like

1010
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 2: with both, and usually recommend is treat the substance use

1011
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 2: first and then go in and do the media work

1012
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 2: because that's obviously the most crucial part of you know.

1013
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 2: And I have a ton of people in recovery, which

1014
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:19,880
Speaker 2: I have so much respect for you, and I have

1015
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 2: to say this, they find recovery easier than this work. Wow,

1016
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 2: it blew my mind. I had about twenty five percent

1017
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 2: of my clients with comorbid like substance abuse, and they

1018
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 2: were in like living their best life, like ten years sober,

1019
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 2: I had twenty eight years. They could not get on

1020
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 2: this train that I was doing with them, and I'm like,

1021
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 2: I'm trying to understand. I'm like, you do the hardest

1022
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,720
Speaker 2: thing day in day out, but it's like the thought

1023
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 2: of letting go of like who they saw themselves to be,

1024
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 2: it was just so hard, and they just it was

1025
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 2: it was just almost impossible with some of them. And

1026
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 2: I just and I was like, can we look at

1027
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,359
Speaker 2: the strength that you have from being sober and what

1028
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 2: that takes to really like dig deep to do that,

1029
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 2: because that you have to be a strong person to

1030
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 2: be sober. I'm sorry, it's a literally strong person. So

1031
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 2: I'm like to use some of that strength. And it

1032
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 2: was it was interesting to see that it was not

1033
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 2: They couldn't really transfer it for whatever reason. It was harder.

1034
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 1: So on that note, because you know, you always hear

1035
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 1: people struggling with addiction, they always say I'm in recovery

1036
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 1: because the fact of the matter is you will never

1037
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:31,239
Speaker 1: be recovered, you know. It's it's one disease that you

1038
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,360
Speaker 1: have to work at every single day. You'll never be

1039
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:37,240
Speaker 1: cared from it. Is that how it is with BDD,

1040
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 1: Like you have to work at it pretty much every day.

1041
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 2: Yes, one, so I have it. I like stam in recovery.

1042
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 2: But I always tell my clients like I can equally

1043
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 2: be right back with where you're at, Like if I

1044
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,439
Speaker 2: end up doing something like it's funny like I went

1045
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 2: in I wanted to get a facial And I'll always

1046
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:58,320
Speaker 2: say this, if you can answer these three questions, please

1047
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 2: do whatever it is you want. If you could be

1048
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 2: okay that it looks the same when you come out,

1049
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:03,840
Speaker 2: go get it done. If you could be okay that

1050
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 2: it looks better, get it done. If you could be

1051
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 2: okay it looks worse, get it on. The worst is

1052
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 2: when no one can answer that, and then I'm like,

1053
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 2: well then you can't go in. And I was like,

1054
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 2: you can't if you're not gonna be okay that it

1055
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: could possibly look worse then you So like I went

1056
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 2: into like to talk about getting a facial and it

1057
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:23,239
Speaker 2: was so interesting. I'm so honest about it. I'm like, hey,

1058
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 2: s YI have body this work disorder. So probably never

1059
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 2: going to get a laser because I've gotten one before

1060
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:32,359
Speaker 2: and it blew up my whole life, like my kids

1061
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 2: do not. I ended up in three weeks of intensive

1062
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:39,440
Speaker 2: therapy because I got a laser on Moral Canyon and

1063
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:42,720
Speaker 2: I told that PA that I have BDD and he's like, okay,

1064
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,919
Speaker 2: let's see head to toe what we can do for you.

1065
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 2: And I couldn't handle the redness after an IPL and

1066
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 2: it like set me into a fold.

1067
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 1: Even though you knew the redness would go away, I

1068
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 1: guess I couldn't. You couldn't put it this way.

1069
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 2: The emotional thing with made the redness not go away,

1070
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:03,920
Speaker 2: so so anxious that it literally was not going away.

1071
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 2: And I like this, I like lost it and I

1072
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:07,799
Speaker 2: was like I ended up like having to take a

1073
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 2: medical leave for my job. It was like the worst

1074
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 2: two hundred dollars spent and it like ended me up

1075
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:16,520
Speaker 2: in like six thousand dollars worth the therapy and like

1076
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:20,280
Speaker 2: it was like so it was just it's so interesting

1077
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:21,880
Speaker 2: to me, Like when I went to this person and

1078
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 2: she's like, oh, you can go get a consult for filler,

1079
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 2: and and I'm like, did you just hear what I

1080
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 2: told you? Like? Am I like? And I think sometimes

1081
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 2: like truthfully, even if you tell somebody, they look at

1082
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 2: it as like you're a cash cow like.

1083
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: One then they're like, oh, this person's coming back day

1084
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,840
Speaker 1: after day to get filled up to the brim.

1085
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,760
Speaker 2: But on the flip side, there was an amazing dermatologist

1086
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 2: like right by, like what is it like Century City

1087
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,760
Speaker 2: And he was like, Robin, there's no amount of money

1088
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:51,400
Speaker 2: that I will take for me to give you botox

1089
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 2: because you will call me every single day and not happy.

1090
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:56,359
Speaker 1: Right, It's not worth it.

1091
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 2: He's like, not worth it. He's like I don't want

1092
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 2: He's like I like you, but like never going to happen.

1093
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 2: I'm not touching your face and I was like, okay,

1094
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 2: and I really respect that, but you don't find that

1095
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 2: and so that's no, that's the problem with people with BDD.

1096
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 2: It's like you'll have people like I had a client

1097
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:13,879
Speaker 2: with a nose job, where like there are a ton

1098
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 2: of doctors that said no, but you will find the

1099
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 2: doctor that will say yes. You know somebody who wants

1100
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 2: hair transplant, they said no before the age of twenty five,

1101
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 2: and sure enough they'll find someone that will do it.

1102
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:30,239
Speaker 2: So it's like it's really hard for like, you know

1103
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 2: myself and naturally, like I speak a lot about it,

1104
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:34,480
Speaker 2: is because I have it. Like I'm not just somebody

1105
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 2: that like read a book about it, Like right, this

1106
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:37,280
Speaker 2: is their life.

1107
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,799
Speaker 1: You specialize in it, you've had it, you relate to it.

1108
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:41,879
Speaker 1: I think that's the most powerful thing.

1109
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:45,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. And but to answer a question, I

1110
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:49,479
Speaker 2: think I'm in recovery every day. I think as there's

1111
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,799
Speaker 2: times where it's a lot easier, there's times where it's

1112
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 2: slightly can be harder. You know. I'm very like I'm

1113
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:58,040
Speaker 2: always like analyzing myself, I guess as a therapist, and

1114
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh my god, like this is hits

1115
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 2: me in all aspects of life. And I think that's

1116
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,800
Speaker 2: a newer piece that most therapists who treat this disorder

1117
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,360
Speaker 2: don't do, Like they'll do the behavioral work, like it

1118
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:10,719
Speaker 2: knows I specialize also in o SK and they'll do

1119
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 2: the behavioral work, but they won't look at like what

1120
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 2: are your core beliefs about yourself? So like no one

1121
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 2: sat there and asked me, like, Robin, how do you

1122
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 2: feel about yourself? And I would have been like, I

1123
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 2: feel like I am the most worthless human being, like

1124
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 2: beyond just my skin. And maybe if they would have

1125
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 2: done that, they could have saved me three relationships that

1126
00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 2: I definitely didn't need to be in, and like my

1127
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,320
Speaker 2: life would have been a lot different. But of course,

1128
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,840
Speaker 2: like they just were like, oh, if she could stop

1129
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 2: the behavior, she's fine, and that was not the case.

1130
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 2: And so I like strive, like with my clients to

1131
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 2: see them as a whole person. I want, I want

1132
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 2: to like know their story. I want to know, like

1133
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:49,640
Speaker 2: really get into the nitty gritty. And I think that

1134
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 2: that's a newer thing because usually with therapy, they want

1135
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 2: like evidence these practices, and they want things like super

1136
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 2: clean and more intense intense, like cite with therapy is

1137
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 2: like you can't measure that, so they're not as interested

1138
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 2: in it. But it needs to happen. And so you know,

1139
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 2: recovery is not easy. I mean, you know, it's just

1140
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,759
Speaker 2: not it's not. But I think we all go through

1141
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 2: through things, and I think that's what is reality to

1142
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 2: this world. I think unless you've like lived under a

1143
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 2: rock like you've been, something has happened to you and

1144
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 2: either you've had the coping to work through it or

1145
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 2: or sometimes you don't have good coping to work through it,

1146
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 2: and that's what lands you into possibly needing for support.

1147
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm beyond thrilled that I that we found each other

1148
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 1: because I think this needs to be a grander topic.

1149
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,919
Speaker 1: And I won't even lie I've thrown I mean, I've

1150
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 1: had friends where they look in the mirror and they

1151
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:44,160
Speaker 1: talk about their bodies, and I've told them, you have

1152
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 1: body dysmorphia because I'm like, I'm looking at you. You

1153
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 1: look fucking fire, but like you really have shed a

1154
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 1: lot of light. And I think my listeners are going

1155
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,319
Speaker 1: to be very appreciative. Where can they find you? On

1156
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: social media?

1157
00:56:57,480 --> 00:56:59,879
Speaker 2: So you could find me at the badd and OC

1158
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 2: Therapist that's on Instagram, and then you could also find

1159
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:08,880
Speaker 2: my website which is Rlsterntherapy dot com.

1160
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 3: Is it Instagram handle all once? So it's the b

1161
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 3: D D and ot D Therapist. Okay, got it.

1162
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 1: I love it. Keep spreading the word, keep doing amazing work.

1163
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you, and I'm so happy that

1164
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:19,440
Speaker 1: we found each other.

1165
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, guys, thank you for having me.