Speaker 1: So the dating pod has been sort of back alive,
Speaker 1: and I've been dabbling. I'm a dating dabbler. Now, I'm
Speaker 1: a dating dabbler. And once you get one person who's
Speaker 1: very interested in you that you sort of like, it's like,
Speaker 1: that's when your burner gets going. That's when the Viking
Speaker 1: stove has something on boil, something you took off, something simmering,
Speaker 1: something on the middle, something just waiting to be put
Speaker 1: on the stove, and something just waiting to be taken off.
Speaker 1: So I'm a big believer, and get your burners going
Speaker 1: and don't lock anything down. That being said, it is
Speaker 1: almost worse when someone likes you more than you like them,
Speaker 1: because they're so great and so nice and such a
Speaker 1: good pursuer and so persistent. But if you don't love it,
Speaker 1: you don't like it. If you don't know, yes, it's no,
Speaker 1: And you don't want to like put someone in the
Speaker 1: friend zone, and you don't want to make some and
Speaker 1: feel bad. And it's definitely something to navigate when someone
Speaker 1: really likes you much more than you like them. So
Speaker 1: be mindful, be respectful, be kind, And you have to
Speaker 1: find that sweet spot between blowing someone out because you
Speaker 1: just think that you definitely don't like them, because in
Speaker 1: the past there have been people that you don't love,
Speaker 1: so you don't like. But there are so many stories
Speaker 1: if someone people weren't into but then it surprised them.
Speaker 1: Maybe they had sex with them and then it all
Speaker 1: came alive. Maybe they saw the way they handled when
Speaker 1: you were sick. Maybe they dealt with your child in
Speaker 1: a certain way. Maybe they're super compassionate. So you gotta
Speaker 1: find the delicate balance. But it is almost more difficult
Speaker 1: when they like you more than you like them. Hold
Speaker 1: face signing someone is a fucking assault. Hold face signing
Speaker 1: someone is a hate card. I love people that I
Speaker 1: don't speak too often. Text me out of the blue
Speaker 1: sometimes that's jarring. Calm me out of the blue, that's
Speaker 1: way more.
Speaker 2: Oh, FaceTime me. Are you a sociopath? Lunatic? Are you
Speaker 2: in your fucking mind?
Speaker 1: It is like someone giving me a rectal exam mid day, Like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing?
Speaker 2: No, get off my phone.
Speaker 1: It's freaking me out that if I accidentally hit this,
Speaker 1: you're gonna like.
Speaker 2: See my face right now, like immediately. No. And likewise,
Speaker 2: I the someone.
Speaker 1: Try to date me and we're just on the phone
Speaker 1: and then they all of a sudden hit face time
Speaker 1: like no, I want to No, I don't want to
Speaker 1: see you right now? Okay, seeing is not talking and texting.
Speaker 1: It's so annoying. And that's related to the ick. You
Speaker 1: get the ick when you're dating someone. Even if you
Speaker 1: get a half a knick fucking over, there's nothing. The
Speaker 1: ick is so incredibly icky. It is so icky. And
Speaker 1: and love bombing is icky. And I've been getting like
Speaker 1: sort of version of love bombing and it's like so
Speaker 1: and when someone slathers something on and you didn't ask
Speaker 1: for it, and then they slather it on more, you're like,
Speaker 1: I didn't ask for the slaughter the first time.
Speaker 2: I didn't want the first swath of butter or cream teaste.
Speaker 2: Why you doubling down?
Speaker 1: If I didn't respond to it and say, oh I
Speaker 1: love a slatter, I want more frostic. If I didn't
Speaker 1: say that, don't fucking give me more. People like try
Speaker 1: to like keep going with the love bombing and the comments,
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, now I can ever seek you again.
Speaker 1: It's the worst.
Speaker 2: Any version of it is the biggest stick in the world.
Speaker 1: Do not gaslight yourself because someone seems nice and I
Speaker 1: like you so much with the.
Speaker 2: Gross run ick is icky no way.
Speaker 1: I got invited to the Sports Illustrated Swim Show. I
Speaker 1: had no idea what to expect. I thought what they
Speaker 1: were doing was interesting with different types of women from
Speaker 1: the outside peripherally, I didn't really understand it. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna pretend I knew everything about it. I didn't know
Speaker 1: ninety eight percent of the women there. But I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you, guys, do not let people tell you.
Speaker 2: Now. I'm being serious. Listen, if you say.
Speaker 1: I want to be a brain surgeon and you are
Speaker 1: a baker, I think that you should be told no.
Speaker 2: But I'm just telling you. I have ten examples.
Speaker 1: I have ten examples of emphatically being told no to
Speaker 1: things that I knew were yes, okay, so green means go.
Speaker 1: I was told emphatically by someone on my team, you
Speaker 1: TikTok is not for you. It's for eight to eleven
Speaker 1: year olds, and that's not for you. I was told
Speaker 1: emphatically in writing by someone on my team. Sports Illustrated
Speaker 1: would not want you. Everybody's already seen you in a
Speaker 1: bathing suit a bunch of times. That's a hard no.
Speaker 1: I was told things about Forbes magazine is a hard No.
Speaker 1: I was told Skinny Girl was not a fuck you
Speaker 1: idea that I thought it was, and to just go
Speaker 1: back and focus on reality TV. I was told no,
Speaker 1: not to do The Housewives by everybody, and I was
Speaker 1: told not to come back to the Housewives when I
Speaker 1: came back. I was told, I was told, I was told,
Speaker 1: I was told. I was told, no, do not listen
Speaker 1: to other people. Put up your guardrails. It is dangerous
Speaker 1: because what happens is people are told and most people listen.
Speaker 2: I say fuck off.
Speaker 1: I was told, no, you can't cancel today on HSN
Speaker 1: when you don't want to sell the those bathing suits
Speaker 1: to people because you think they look like shit on everybody.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna do that to people. Let me remind
Speaker 1: you all, because it's because I just did a swim show.
Speaker 1: I was launching bathing suits. We had spent sixty thousand
Speaker 1: dollars on these bathing suits and we were launching them.
Speaker 1: Ww D had written an article I was going on
Speaker 1: live on HSN to sell bathing suits. Tried them on
Speaker 1: after we'd done many reviews and designer zooms during a
Speaker 1: pandemic to change them they were ill fitting, they fit
Speaker 1: like shit.
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1: My business manager said, you have to do it, yelling
Speaker 1: at me. We sent all this money, HSN, et cetera.
Speaker 1: I called it just then. I said, I'm not going on.
Speaker 1: HSN understood. It wasn't perfect or convenient, but they understood
Speaker 1: because they don't want to sell ship bathing suits. And
Speaker 1: my business manager said, we'll sell them to like off
Speaker 1: price stores, meaning like a Marshal's or something that like
Speaker 1: sells for less. I go, so, we're gonna let poor
Speaker 1: people look like shit like I was. So I did
Speaker 1: not go on and sell them. I don't listen or
Speaker 1: what other people say if I know it's right, and
Speaker 1: neither should you. You do not let people determine your boundaries. Okay,
Speaker 1: you do not, because I walk that runway and that
Speaker 1: person on my team was wrong, and I have been
Speaker 1: so tempted to just say I can't believe.
Speaker 2: I almost listen to you, but there's no upside. It
Speaker 2: doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: But that person told me no, and they were wrong,
Speaker 1: and they should call me now and say I was wrong,
Speaker 1: and they know who they are. So I have had
Speaker 1: a struggle with long lost family because some people say
Speaker 1: that they love their friends more than their family. And
Speaker 1: just because someone's your blood doesn't mean they're your family
Speaker 1: because you don't know them and you haven't had a
Speaker 1: relationship with them. And over the years, I've had long
Speaker 1: lost family reach out to me. And it's because I
Speaker 1: had a family of my fathers for years reach out
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: I never knew them.
Speaker 1: And like, I'm a very I came from a very dysfunctional,
Speaker 1: very guarded, very abusive, insane child like household. Like it's
Speaker 1: hard to believe and it seems insane if you even
Speaker 1: tell somebody what my child who was like. And I'm
Speaker 1: not looking for any sort of sympathy whatsoever. I don't
Speaker 1: like to talk about it. And when I go out
Speaker 1: on a date and someone asks me, like where are
Speaker 1: you from?
Speaker 2: What's this? Where religion are you? Where did you grow up?
Speaker 2: What about your parents? I cringe.
Speaker 1: I wither. I just want to I want to die.
Speaker 1: And so I don't trust people.
Speaker 2: I try.
Speaker 1: I have the same friends from high school. I don't
Speaker 1: trust people. You're in or you're out, I'm loyal to you,
Speaker 1: or I couldn't give a shit, like I don't really
Speaker 1: have I'm a loyal person, meaning in business, I don't
Speaker 1: fuck people over and if I say it, I mean it.
Speaker 1: I never betray someone's trust. I never tell anyone's secret.
Speaker 1: I have secrets on people from like the bravosphere that
Speaker 1: I don't speak to nor care for. But I would
Speaker 1: never divul to text or something someone told me. I
Speaker 1: am in the Witness Protection program. And that's sort of
Speaker 1: like another code too of growing up with like mafia
Speaker 1: ties and the racetrack, Like it's just like, don't fuck around.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm extremely hardcore and loyal and you always know what's
Speaker 1: going on with me. You always know where you stand
Speaker 1: with me. And that can be frightening to people that said,
Speaker 1: I'm not really touchy feeling and I'm not looking for
Speaker 1: a lot of new friends.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm really not. So when long lost family.
Speaker 1: Reaches out to me, it's not comfortable and it's cringe
Speaker 1: cringe to me, and I don't want to do it
Speaker 1: because I don't know them and other people and in
Speaker 1: Hallmark films they say, like, it's your family and wouldn't
Speaker 1: that be nice and bring could have cousins and all
Speaker 1: this stuff because they have kids, But like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to meet new people, and I really don't trust people.
Speaker 1: And some of the people have been slightly more persistent
Speaker 1: since I've been a well known person, and that could
Speaker 1: also because they've seen me more publicly and it's reminded
Speaker 1: them of it, but it could also not, And like,
Speaker 1: I just don't know how to go back. And even
Speaker 1: if you have a family member that was like a
Speaker 1: father or a mother or a stepfather that you didn't
Speaker 1: speak to for like ten or twenty years, for me,
Speaker 1: like it's impossible. I can't do it, and I'm upset
Speaker 1: with myself. I kind of want to know what you
Speaker 1: guys think about this, because I get upset with myself
Speaker 1: and I think about it and I try to be
Speaker 1: nice to them and like say something nice to them
Speaker 1: to make them feel good. But I'm like that with
Speaker 1: friends that I was within friends with in high school
Speaker 1: and college too. If I lost touch with you for
Speaker 1: twenty years, I don't want you to reach out to
Speaker 1: me and like ask me for things or like get
Speaker 1: together because I'm paranoid and I think you're with me
Speaker 1: for the wrong reasons because we haven't spoken for twenty years,
Speaker 1: but you were friends of me years ago when I
Speaker 1: wasn't anybody. But it's just like my circle's closed, and
Speaker 1: it's kind of sad, not because I'm lonely or not,
Speaker 1: it's just my circles closed. And I don't know what
Speaker 1: you guys think of that, Like do you think we
Speaker 1: should be opening up the circle? I mean new people
Speaker 1: through business that I get together with. I mean new
Speaker 1: people through dating that I get together with. I have
Speaker 1: new friends that I've met through dating. It's just sort
Speaker 1: of in the former friends and very distant family that
Speaker 1: I have no relationship with. And also it's connected to
Speaker 1: my mother or father, which represents such a dysfunctional household
Speaker 1: that people that are connected to them or all want
Speaker 1: to talk about it. Like someone reached out to me
Speaker 1: about my stepfather the other day by social media, and
Speaker 1: they want to tell stories about the racetrack. But like
Speaker 1: I'm traumatized for my childhood. I don't want to go
Speaker 1: back there. My mother died, I went back there, you know,
Speaker 1: I cried on the internet. I did like an hour
Speaker 1: long thing about death and her and what it was,
Speaker 1: and it like I had to heal. I don't want
Speaker 1: to go back, and maybe that's wrong, and maybe I
Speaker 1: have a blind spot and I'm missing something like that.
Speaker 1: I should be going back, but I just feel like
Speaker 1: you're fifty. Your your fifty is like, what are we doing?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: So like people want to reach out and they think that, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I used to know your dad, I used to.
Speaker 2: Know your mom. I was your mom's brothers whatever.
Speaker 1: They used to say this about you, or they used
Speaker 1: to do to do this at the racetrack, or this
Speaker 1: happened I die same thing in third grade, Like, oh
Speaker 1: I was in your third grade class. Hi, I remember this,
Speaker 1: and there was a sadness in you and this about
Speaker 1: your parent. I don't want to go back there. And
Speaker 1: therapists probably want you to crack it open. And actually
Speaker 1: this is what I have to talk to my therapist
Speaker 1: about because I just don't want to do it. And
Speaker 1: it's like it's just trauma and it's trauma associated and
Speaker 1: it's triggering. And I guess I've answered my own question,
Speaker 1: but I just don't know if there's something that's there
Speaker 1: that like I don't know, and I'm making a mistake.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Every time it happens, I punt it. I'm very grateful
Speaker 1: that my daughter begged me to meet my mother. Because
Speaker 1: then the box got to be checked. She met my mother,
Speaker 1: but I didn't. I went back there and saw my
Speaker 1: mother when my daughter was cause I wasn't gonna have
Speaker 1: them just be had my daughter be with her alone.
Speaker 1: But like, I didn't feel anything like I felt anger
Speaker 1: and triggered. I didn't feel like a movie like opened
Speaker 1: up and like you're my mom.
Speaker 2: Like I didn't feel that at all. I felt triggered.
Speaker 1: And like heightened, and I had to control myself and
Speaker 1: control my emotions in the way that I felt because
Speaker 1: there's no upside and I'm.
Speaker 2: Very good at regulating myself.
Speaker 1: But I didn't feel like I wanted to like piece
Speaker 1: everything back together after twenty thirty years of having no relationship,
Speaker 1: but just it doesn't seem realistic. So I just don't
Speaker 1: know what you guys think, and you might know something different,
Speaker 1: but it's certainly it's certainly not what they say in
Speaker 1: the movies.