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Speaker 1: To Teas in a Pod with Teddy Mellencamp and Camra Judge.

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Speaker 2: Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Two Teas and

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Speaker 2: a Pod with Teddy Mellencamp and Tamra Judge. You know what,

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Speaker 2: I didn't even change it. Even all this time, I

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Speaker 2: still said what you didn't want me to say? What? Hi,

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Speaker 2: another episode of Two Teas in a Pod and Teddy

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Speaker 2: Mellencamp and Tamra Judge.

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Speaker 3: You could say it all you want. I miss hearing

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Speaker 3: you say it.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to say something before we get into

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Speaker 2: all my shit? What are you doing? Tamera? I go,

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Speaker 2: I get some brain tumors, and then you decide to

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Speaker 2: quit the show. So Inburson, listen, listen, listen.

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Speaker 3: I'm doing the best I can do. I'm just at

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Speaker 3: a situation.

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Speaker 2: I'm just having a quitter I know.

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Speaker 3: And it's hard for me to say this to you

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Speaker 3: because you're going through something extremely hard and you're giving

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Speaker 3: me such motivation. But right now, all the things I'm

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Speaker 3: going through, and then on top of you, I'm just struggling. Wow,

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Speaker 3: I'm struggling.

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Speaker 2: We're going to unstruggle pretty soon because I can't be

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Speaker 2: you know, I can't be the one fighting here all

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Speaker 2: the time, doing all the things, and then not be

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Speaker 2: able to make fun of you when I recap o

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Speaker 2: see you next season, Like this is not fair, This

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Speaker 2: is rude of all the times to quit. Like, so

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Speaker 2: if me and Erica are going to recap the show

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Speaker 2: without you on it, and I'm gonna have to say

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Speaker 2: she's a quitter.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't ever want to be a quitter. But

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Speaker 3: sometimes your mental health is a little bit more important

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Speaker 3: than the daala.

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Speaker 2: Well weird because I'm here right now.

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Speaker 3: But you push through things and you continue to act

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Speaker 3: like everything's okay on when you do your stories, and

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Speaker 3: you tend to poke fun in joke of your situation

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Speaker 3: and act like I'm okay, And that's good because I

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Speaker 3: think that's the drive and desire you need moving forward

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Speaker 3: for sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think I can say I've had

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Speaker 2: some of my darkest, saddest days since the twelfth when

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Speaker 2: this happened. But leading up to it, it's so wild

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Speaker 2: what kind of transpired to kind of get us here,

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Speaker 2: Because I mean I was at a horse show. I

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Speaker 2: remember going to my friend of Cole. I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: have the worst migraine I've ever had in my entire life.

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Speaker 3: This is before we went to New Orleans.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is before we went to Newrth. We had

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Speaker 2: just done a pod where I was kind of like

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Speaker 2: all over the place, and I remember not being able

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Speaker 2: to remember how to say certain words, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: that's weird, you know, like I just kind of got

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Speaker 2: to that place. And then I went to my friend

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Speaker 2: of Cole, I'm like, I must have a micro I've

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Speaker 2: never had one, and she was like, oh, sometimes that

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Speaker 2: happens to people when they're going through menopause. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, how dare her? I was like, well, you

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Speaker 2: might be right. I'm like, but either way, do you

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Speaker 2: have any Because she always has migraines, I'm like, do

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Speaker 2: you have any migraine medication? And she's like yes. So

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Speaker 2: then I took it and then I started like shaking

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Speaker 2: really bad at the horse show. And then when I

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Speaker 2: was at the show, I was riding and I didn't

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Speaker 2: know where. I was like I would like when you're

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Speaker 2: going to like part of riding is finding the distance

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Speaker 2: and like picking exactly where you want your horse to leave.

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Speaker 3: By the way, it's very dangerous that you were riding

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Speaker 3: and weren't stable.

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Speaker 2: Well, I didn't know. I wasn't stable. And now it's

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Speaker 2: not dangerous because I'm in a good place, but I

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Speaker 2: just felt this weird way. I mean, I still I

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Speaker 2: remember being so pissed that I was second and third,

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Speaker 2: I was like, eh, I rode like crap, like what

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Speaker 2: is wrong with me? And so that was kind of

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Speaker 2: the start of it. And the next day I felt

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Speaker 2: the same. And then I came and met you and

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Speaker 2: we went to New Orleans. Yes we got in a fight.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes we got a little argument. I've noticed a

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Speaker 3: change in you in the past six months. I feel

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Speaker 3: you have pulled away a little bit. I thought you

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Speaker 3: were mad at me.

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Speaker 4: I noticed when we were doing.

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Speaker 3: Podcasts together you were very short. You wanted to get

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Speaker 3: through the rundown really quick. You didn't really want to

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Speaker 3: chat about it. And I called you and I asked you,

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Speaker 3: and you literally weren't even aware.

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Speaker 2: You're like what, Yeah, No, I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: I remember it's always very like patchy my memory at

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Speaker 2: this point. And then I was in such extreme I

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Speaker 2: remember being such extreme pain when we left for New Orleans.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how you pushed through that.

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Speaker 2: Like I could barely walk. I couldn't see every second

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Speaker 2: that we weren't, you know, filming, I was. I would

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Speaker 2: have to lay in the bed. I remember you were like,

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Speaker 2: why don't you want to go out? Why don't you

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Speaker 2: want to do this? I didn't want to do anything,

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Speaker 2: Like I was an extreme, excruciating pain in my head

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Speaker 2: and you were.

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Speaker 4: Taking advilt, yeah, and was working.

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Speaker 3: We you know, after we we had a tight schedule,

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Speaker 3: like we landed, we got there, we started podcasting, we

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Speaker 3: had guests, then we got glammed, and during glam you

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Speaker 3: hit a wall and You're like, I don't want to

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Speaker 3: do this. I want to do it, And I'm like what.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like I don't want to get anything party,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to do this.

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Speaker 4: I want to do this.

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Speaker 3: And I said, yeah, come on, you're going to do that? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And I was like, something's not right.

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Speaker 2: I was so I would say, I was so edgy.

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Speaker 2: And what ended up coming out was we got through

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Speaker 2: the weekend. We got through. We got through the weekend.

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Speaker 2: We had fun, and then I got home and I

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Speaker 2: went and like had plans with a friend. And that

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Speaker 2: night I was like, I feel terrible. I don't know

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Speaker 2: what to do. And then the next day I came

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Speaker 2: did we did the podcast together. And then the next day,

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Speaker 2: as we're starting the podcast, like I start crying to

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Speaker 2: you guys, and I'm like, I can't do it today.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: I told you I go you need to go to

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Speaker 3: the hospital. You need to go to the hospital. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And then Edwin took you to the hospital.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So then I honestly didn't know what to do

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Speaker 2: because clearly, you know, everything in my life is upside down.

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Speaker 2: And so I called my friend val actually and I

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Speaker 2: started like sobbing to her and I'm like, I need

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Speaker 2: you to take me to the hospital right now. I

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Speaker 2: think I'm dying. I can't see, I can't walk, I

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Speaker 2: can't even get out of bed Gary and she was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm with another friend at a doctor's appointment. So then

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Speaker 2: I called Edwin, and Edwin took me to the hospital.

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Speaker 2: At this point, I still thought they were going to

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Speaker 2: tell me you have migraines, like you have severe migraines.

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Speaker 2: Edwin had thought because one of his best friends had

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Speaker 2: had a brain hemorrhage, he thought that might have been

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Speaker 2: what it is. Because the part that's confusing to everybody

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Speaker 2: is I didn't complain about a headache to anybody but

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Speaker 2: my friend to call.

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Speaker 4: You in New Orleans.

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Speaker 3: You're telling me your ho is hurting. But prior to that,

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Speaker 3: I never heard a word about your head green.

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Speaker 2: But my head had been hurting for like six months.

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Speaker 2: But I was like, why.

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Speaker 3: Did you ignore it?

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Speaker 2: I think because so much, so much bad stuff was

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Speaker 2: going on right then that I didn't want to face

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Speaker 2: any of it. And I was like, I just need

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Speaker 2: to keep moving forward. And if I keep moving forward,

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Speaker 2: then everything's going to be fine.

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Speaker 3: Anywhere in you did you think that something was really

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Speaker 3: like the cancer had come back or.

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Speaker 2: No, Because I had just gone from my checkup, and

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Speaker 2: so I had gone for my checkup already and and

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Speaker 2: I was cleared and it was the first time in

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Speaker 2: three years that I didn't have any melanoma skin melanoma. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 2: So my skin check went well. Then I Edwin takes

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Speaker 2: me to the emergency room. He thinks it's a brain hemorrhage.

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Speaker 3: We wait, that makes sense because you kept telling me

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Speaker 3: why you're in the hospital, that.

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Speaker 4: Your brain was bleeding.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I'm like, where is she getting this from? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And then I think Edwin pushed for me to have

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Speaker 2: a CT scan. Right away, and that's when they realized

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Speaker 2: I have over seven tumors. There was four or that

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Speaker 2: were removed, but they weren't removed there, so there was

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Speaker 2: four really large tumors that essentially they said, it's been

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Speaker 2: happening for at least six months, and I didn't really

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Speaker 2: understand what it meant. So we left. They took out

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Speaker 2: my I V's. We left, We went to Cedars and

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Speaker 2: then and Beverly Hills and then it was all really

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Speaker 2: a blur, like I, well.

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Speaker 3: It happened so fast.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it really did.

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Speaker 3: Like the way you told me in the group, I

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Speaker 3: think it was. Yeah, it was just I don't know

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Speaker 3: if it's just me or I was in the group

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Speaker 3: text but you you said to me you all thought

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Speaker 3: I was mental, but actually I'm on my deathbed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I remember feeling like this is actually it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I remember texting you back and said, no,

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Speaker 3: you're not, because if you're on yours, then I'm on

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Speaker 3: mine because I can't live without you.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it was really really hard. And I got

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Speaker 2: there and the doctors immediately were able. I mean, this

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Speaker 2: is incredible, but there was a doctor immediately able to

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Speaker 2: give me. I had a craniotomy with tumor resection, which

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Speaker 2: is where they removed for tumors from my brain.

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Speaker 5: But what the hardest part is that nobody wanted to

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Speaker 5: tell me what was really happening because they were scared,

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Speaker 5: and so I didn't know what was happening.

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Speaker 6: Like I thought I was fine, Like I thought I

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Speaker 6: could go home the next day, and like once the

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Speaker 6: tumors are out, I.

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Speaker 2: Thought I would be done.

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Speaker 6: I can't even tell you, guys, like I really didn't

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Speaker 6: understand anything, and it was such a bummer. And then honestly,

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Speaker 6: it was like Gangbusters.

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Speaker 2: Every friend that I've had over the last twenty.

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Speaker 3: Years, I don't even high school friends, my high school friends.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, I never heard about that.

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Speaker 2: My dad, my sister, my brother.

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Speaker 4: I got to meet your dad.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, he was. He was a real jam you

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Speaker 2: looking at me, He's like, who are you? He wouldn't

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Speaker 2: he pretended he didn't know anybody's name. But he was

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Speaker 2: really a godsend during us because I was wretched in

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Speaker 2: the hospital, wretched.

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Speaker 3: I think some of my favorite lines were when your

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Speaker 3: sister said, can you see me, Teddy, can you see me?

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Speaker 3: This is after your surgery.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't there.

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Speaker 3: She just told me about it, and you said, you

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Speaker 3: opened your eyes and you go Unfortunately, well.

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Speaker 2: Guy, there was one day where I went deep down.

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Speaker 2: I think I might have been with my friend Kelly,

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Speaker 2: where I went deep down the rabbit hole where Ice

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Speaker 2: was telling everybody Heath Ledger is stocking me. He's here,

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Speaker 2: and he is after me. I'm seeing him every single night,

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Speaker 2: and it's just getting to be too much.

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Speaker 3: By the way, we was scaring the shit out of

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Speaker 3: all of us.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so I got transferred into the Neurow ICU after

226
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Speaker 2: so I guess your train was Yeah. So after I

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Speaker 2: had my brain surgery, I guess, and they took out

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Speaker 2: the tumors. What they wanted to happen didn't happen, So

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Speaker 2: then they had to transfer me into the ICU.

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Speaker 3: They took out some of the tumors.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but then I was put on all this medication

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Speaker 2: and it honestly, I couldn't freaking tell you who came,

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Speaker 2: who I spoke to, what happened.

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Speaker 3: I think it's also the trauma of you know, digging

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Speaker 3: around in your brain, like mess around in there, and

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Speaker 3: you get done with brain surgery, it takes a while

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Speaker 3: for your brain to heal, and you were having swelling

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Speaker 3: problems and they and fluid problems. So they went in

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Speaker 3: and they were going they put a drain in. And

240
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Speaker 3: then in ICU, your last day in ice, you we

241
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Speaker 3: all got the call, which was really hard that we

242
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,720
Speaker 3: were all in a group text must I should say,

243
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,839
Speaker 3: and it was they were going to put I think

244
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Speaker 3: a shunt or something in because of the swelling in

245
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Speaker 3: your brain and so it you kept seem like you're

246
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,320
Speaker 3: going backwards and not forward. And so we were all

247
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Speaker 3: like four o'clock in the morning, we all knew you

248
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,840
Speaker 3: were going to get a scan, seven o'clock, you're going

249
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Speaker 3: to go into surgery. And I woke up to the

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00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,400
Speaker 3: best news of my life that day when they said

251
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Speaker 3: she's turned a corner, like she's not having the surgery,

252
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Speaker 3: she's not having a shunt, the swelling's starting to go down,

253
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Speaker 3: and I'm like, thank you Jesus, Like we're finally because

254
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,440
Speaker 3: for I don't know, a week and a half, it

255
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:59,080
Speaker 3: was just all so scary and touchy, and sometimes we'd

256
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:03,120
Speaker 3: you know, I'd see you and you would be completely

257
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,440
Speaker 3: out in you. Every once in a while you'd hear

258
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,400
Speaker 3: conversations going around and you'd jump into the conversation or

259
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,320
Speaker 3: you were funny, or you're like, you know, Kyle was

260
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:16,400
Speaker 3: there one day and you say, Kyle goes. You hated

261
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,120
Speaker 3: the question what year is it?

262
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,960
Speaker 2: Oh? My gosh, guys hated it every single I swear

263
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:28,120
Speaker 2: this was like torture. Every single day. She'd come in

264
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:33,960
Speaker 2: and she'd go, Hi, Teddy, what's the date today? And

265
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 2: I'd be like, ask me things I know.

266
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,400
Speaker 3: Yes, ask me Angelina Jolie's kids' names. I said, ask

267
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:46,280
Speaker 3: me Angelina's kids' names, and then anything culture or housewives.

268
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,840
Speaker 3: I'm on it. I was like, I don't know how

269
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,960
Speaker 3: old I am. I may not know how old I

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00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,040
Speaker 3: am or what year.

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Speaker 2: And then I kept thinking it was nineteen ninety five.

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00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,240
Speaker 2: And then I started cheating and I would write down

273
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Speaker 2: the date on the wall.

274
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Speaker 3: They wrote it down advantage me, and they wouldn't update it,

275
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Speaker 3: so then I couldn't get the date again.

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Speaker 2: So then I was like and in my mind, even

277
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,200
Speaker 2: though I was wrong, because nobody was telling me, I

278
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,640
Speaker 2: thought that I could get out once I knew the date,

279
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,320
Speaker 2: and I would tell Kelly. I'd be like, once I

280
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,000
Speaker 2: get the date, they're going to let me out. And

281
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Speaker 2: the only day that I got the date right was

282
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Speaker 2: Dove's birthday. And then this one day I looked at whoever.

283
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 2: I mean, every day there was a friend with me.

284
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Speaker 2: I didn't spend one second alone.

285
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Speaker 4: You have a great group of girls, you really do.

286
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Speaker 2: But one day I was like, hey, I don't know

287
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,440
Speaker 2: why it feels so important, but I need to call

288
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,760
Speaker 2: my friend Brooke from third grade. I think it's her

289
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,640
Speaker 2: birthday today.

290
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Speaker 3: What And.

291
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,120
Speaker 2: At this point, I couldn't even die on my phone. Remember,

292
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,840
Speaker 2: I couldn't pick up, I couldn't call people.

293
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,200
Speaker 3: They purposely try to keep your phone away from me.

294
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,960
Speaker 2: They tried to keep my phone away from life. I

295
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:04,760
Speaker 2: will tell you this.

296
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Speaker 4: You don't know what day it was.

297
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,600
Speaker 2: You know what date it was.

298
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,960
Speaker 3: You were kind of in and out, but you wanted

299
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,800
Speaker 3: so badly to post on social media.

300
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 2: But I did. The weird part was is I knew that.

301
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 2: I was like, I got a call Brookes. So I

302
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:20,400
Speaker 2: called Brooke and I'm like, hey, I don't know if

303
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 2: I'm right because I haven't been right in fifteen days,

304
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,120
Speaker 2: but I think today's your birthday. And she started crying

305
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,920
Speaker 2: and she was like it is wow. She's like, you

306
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 2: are the one person that has always remembered it.

307
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Speaker 4: That is crazy.

308
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:39,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is just crazy. And then what happened I'm

309
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,920
Speaker 2: trying to think. Then a bunch of other shit went down,

310
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 2: and then there was also which I still have. There's

311
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 2: like I had I spray painted today, but like there's

312
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:53,160
Speaker 2: a big hole right here from your train from one

313
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,000
Speaker 2: of the surgeries, and like the back of my head

314
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,440
Speaker 2: right here there's a big, huge, long scar, two of them. Yeah,

315
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 2: and I kept wanting to touch them. So then they

316
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 2: put me in freakin' restraints, hand restraints, And I got

317
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,359
Speaker 2: to tell you, me and hand restraints, we're not friends.

318
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,639
Speaker 2: I didn't take the hand restraints well. I would try

319
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 2: to rip my hands out of them, and then I

320
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,119
Speaker 2: would I mean, there were guys. I know that I

321
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 2: make everything seem pretty good and peachy, but it was

322
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 2: a bad seventeen days for everyone in my life. And

323
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 2: the fact that my my dad helped me and that

324
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 2: he's still helping me, yeah, has really been a game changer.

325
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,440
Speaker 2: And then.

326
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Speaker 3: I graduated from restraints though, yeah, then boxing gloves think yeah.

327
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,320
Speaker 2: Then after I got the restraints off, then I got

328
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,560
Speaker 2: little boxing gloves which were a little like white things,

329
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 2: so that I could just kept like little mittens. They

330
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 2: weren't little. They were big. They were big.

331
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 3: They were big, looked like big old boxing gloves.

332
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:00,560
Speaker 2: But they were white.

333
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,960
Speaker 3: I mean, they could have come into color.

334
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 2: At least they could have like tie died them, I know.

335
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 2: I mean then then they told me I was getting out.

336
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:14,840
Speaker 2: So according to one of my nurses, what I was

337
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 2: being told and what I thought was going to happen

338
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 2: wasn't the same thing. So then I got really upset.

339
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,080
Speaker 2: I kept thinking I was going to be able to leave.

340
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,199
Speaker 2: I was really upset that I wasn't going to be

341
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,679
Speaker 2: home for Dev's birthday. I was really sick of being

342
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,679
Speaker 2: in the hospital. And this isn't a complaint. It's just

343
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,280
Speaker 2: like there's things you don't even think about that are

344
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,920
Speaker 2: happening in the hospital. Like there was a guy next

345
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,720
Speaker 2: to me, and every night he would scream help me,

346
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:51,719
Speaker 2: and I'd be like, I can't even help myself. I

347
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,359
Speaker 2: can't even help myself.

348
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 3: That's why maybe I see, you wasn't that bad because

349
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 3: you had your own room, your own nurse, and you

350
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,159
Speaker 3: had the you know, twenty four hour eyes on you.

351
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:03,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I was still had raged in the ICU

352
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 2: because I couldn't figure out how to use the TV

353
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,880
Speaker 2: or the phone, so I just laid there. And then

354
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,679
Speaker 2: every day I'd be like, do I get to go?

355
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 2: And I would harass the doctor because I had a

356
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,800
Speaker 2: cell number. Every day I'd be like can I go?

357
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 2: And people would say, if you pass this test, then

358
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 2: you can go. But I never passed the test. I

359
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,480
Speaker 2: was on a sodium trip. They made me take these

360
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,400
Speaker 2: disgusting sodium pills that I threw up every day when

361
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:29,800
Speaker 2: I chok.

362
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 3: Then it got to the point where the nurse says,

363
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,160
Speaker 3: we'd like to get you up to go to the bathroom.

364
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 3: No thank you scared, No thank you scared? And I

365
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,120
Speaker 3: went okay. So then four hours go by, I'm still there.

366
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 3: Then you go, you start ripping things off, and I go,

367
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,960
Speaker 3: what are you doing? You go? The nurse said I

368
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 3: have to get up, and I'm like, okay, but wait

369
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,159
Speaker 3: for her. You can't just get up. I have to

370
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,919
Speaker 3: go to the bathroom. And I'm like, okay, hold on,

371
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 3: hold on. So everybody leaves, shut the door and use

372
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 3: you yell and you start yelling that and I'm like, great,

373
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 3: but you go, but I can't pee.

374
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 2: I couldn't pee guys, I do not know why I

375
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 2: could not peece. So finally I just had to look

376
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 2: at them and I'm like, just put a catheter in.

377
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 2: I'm fine with it.

378
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,479
Speaker 3: And they were worried about doing that constantly because of

379
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 3: UTI and infection.

380
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't care about a UTI. I can't.

381
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, nothing you'd want on top of everything, listen.

382
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 2: At least I would have readily ready medication to clear

383
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 2: it up. But then we finally get out. Well, so

384
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:42,680
Speaker 2: then I get so upset that I started saying dramatic

385
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 2: things about why I needed to get out, and it

386
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 2: started concerning everybody. But nobody told me that they were

387
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 2: concerned because everybody was scared of me. I wonder what

388
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,920
Speaker 2: everyone was scared of me? And then one day, I

389
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 2: remember I had just thrown up like eighty five times

390
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 2: from the stupid salt pills that I hate that I

391
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 2: still had to take for two weeks after I got

392
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 2: out of the ICU. But essentially what happened was I

393
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 2: begged my dad. I'm like, Dad, can you please let

394
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 2: me go into like a postcare center, like where they

395
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 2: go when like people get plastic surgery, Like I'm not

396
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 2: doing an Yeah, like I'm not doing well in here,

397
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,440
Speaker 2: I'm coming unhinged, I'm losing sense of.

398
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 4: And you were in there.

399
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,880
Speaker 3: It was over two weeks, right, yeah, over two weeks

400
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 3: you were in there, and I think in the ICU

401
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 3: and between the two, yeah, between the two is over

402
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 3: two weeks.

403
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:47,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then once I got out of Cedars, then

404
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 2: I got to be with a nurse and like a

405
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 2: little hotel and things were a lot better. But I

406
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 2: got really really sad.

407
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 3: I think at that moment because I've talked to you

408
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 3: to that and you know, and saw you in the hospital.

409
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 3: But after you got to the hotel, we were able

410
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 3: to talk on the phone. It was like really the

411
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 3: first time. And I think it was then when your

412
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 3: your memory is coming back a little bit better, you're

413
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 3: really acknowledging what's going on. And that was the moment

414
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 3: that I was dreading because then you knew what was

415
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 3: going on with you, and.

416
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,120
Speaker 2: That once I understood, then I got really sad. And

417
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 2: then God bless all my friends, but everybody wanted to

418
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 2: come visit me, and like, I'm not somebody that likes

419
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 2: people to visit me, like I want to just h

420
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 2: So it was like every day I don't want to

421
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 2: be like I booked so and so to come and

422
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 2: I was like, I will honestly get out of this

423
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 2: bed somehow and kill you if you invite one more person.

424
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 4: I think everybody was afraid of you being alone.

425
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. So then when I was in the hotel, I

426
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 2: found out that I have two more tumors and my lungs,

427
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 2: one in each line, and then I had more in

428
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 2: my three more I think in my brain, but they

429
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 2: were too risky to remove. So then I was told

430
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 2: that I was going to have immunotherapy, and then so

431
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 2: I went and had my immune therapy yesterday, which I

432
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 2: feel absolutely terrible today, like I have the worst headache

433
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I feel back to how I felt

434
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 2: at the beginning. But what I learned, which I'm so

435
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 2: grateful for. One of my nurses she told me, the

436
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 2: fact that you are in pain right now is huge.

437
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 2: It's great because it means that it's attacking the cancer.

438
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 3: Yeah. I wanted you to cancel today. I didn't want

439
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 3: you to do this, and you insisted on you were

440
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,719
Speaker 3: going to be okay because I knew that last night

441
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 3: was tough on you. You didn't feel well at all

442
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 3: and I'm so worried because you don't know, you don't

443
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 3: know how to say no, and you just keep going.

444
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 3: You're the only person that I know that had brain surgery.

445
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 3: And three weeks later I was doing hot yoga and

446
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 3: walking on the treadmill. I had a damn forehead lift.

447
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 2: I couldn't do anything for two weeks.

448
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 4: I'm like, you.

449
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 3: Scare me because I want you to slow down, and

450
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 3: you so badly want to get back to normal life.

451
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 2: And I get that.

452
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 3: I get that completely, but we don't want you to

453
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 3: feel like you have to do this. Like your family

454
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 3: is here, your iHeart family is here, and they are

455
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 3: here for you. I am here for you as your friend,

456
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 3: like you don't have to push through. It's all right.

457
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 2: I think what you guys don't understand about me in

458
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:46,679
Speaker 2: general is what gives me life is doing things that

459
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 2: I love. Like I love riding horses, I love doing

460
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,679
Speaker 2: the podcast. I love being able to be with you.

461
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 3: You almost broke the damn internet riding the horse.

462
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:59,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I love working out, and I every single

463
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 2: thing that I've done, I've asked my doctor permission. I

464
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 2: know you know, but guess what I'm not allowed to do?

465
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 2: Not bummed about this. Not allowed to drive.

466
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 3: Oh, by the way, pre brain tumors, you shouldn't drive.

467
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 3: Let's be honest, nobody wants to drive with you.

468
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 2: Something a lot of people have been confused by when

469
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 2: they hear like brain tumors or lung tumors or anything

470
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 2: like that, is they're thinking it's something other than melanoma.

471
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 2: But what can actually happen is melanoma can metastasize and

472
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,919
Speaker 2: the organs to your other organs, and that's what happened

473
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 2: to me. So all of my tumors and whatnot are melanoma.

474
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 2: But yesterday is when I went and got my immunotherapy.

475
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 2: And as I'm sitting there, the doctor comes in and

476
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know whatever, trying to be nice, and

477
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 2: you know, I hate having small talk with people about

478
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,239
Speaker 2: my illness because I just want to feel better and

479
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 2: be back to normal. And he's like, so radiation starts

480
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 2: on Monday. And I was like, come again, I thought

481
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,120
Speaker 2: I was just doing I think.

482
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 3: You've been told about the radiation many times. I think

483
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 3: you just don't remember, because I knew way back when

484
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 3: that your treatment plan was going to be some kind

485
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 3: of immune therapy and radiation. So you also, like, in

486
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 3: the conversations I've had with you in the past week,

487
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 3: you've never once mentioned anything with your lungs. And I'm like,

488
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 3: I don't know if she remember. I'm not gonna be

489
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 3: the wane to ask her about it, but I don't know.

490
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: I think my memory about anything other than the surgery

491
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 2: is completely on point. So where the tumors and everything

492
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 2: were in my brain, it temporarily can you know, lack

493
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 2: of memory and those types of things. But where I'm

494
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 2: completely blessed and very very excited is that, like sometimes

495
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 2: this happens to people and they have to relearn to walk,

496
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,919
Speaker 2: they have to relearn to talk, none of that is

497
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 2: the case with me. I'm back to working out, I'm

498
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,239
Speaker 2: back to being with the kids. I'm allowed to do

499
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 2: everything but drive. So for me, that's huge and I'm

500
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 2: I need for me, I need to be doing these things,

501
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: Like going into the horse show with Slate was one

502
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 2: of the first times I felt happy in a long time. Yeah,

503
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 2: and being able to do this makes me happy. I

504
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 2: don't like not being able to like do my job,

505
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 2: but something that we've really been on top of because

506
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 2: we talk to the doctors every single day and believe me.

507
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,159
Speaker 2: My dad is freaking on it like no other. Is

508
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 2: that we're going to listen to the doctors on what's

509
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 2: too much, what's.

510
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,199
Speaker 3: Enough, And you're gonna listen to your body, and I'm

511
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 3: gonna listen to my body.

512
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 2: I mean, I think the fact that like I can

513
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 2: sit and have this conversation shows massive improvement.

514
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,959
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and you're getting better every day, like all

515
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 3: that is temporary from surgery, Like you're getting better. I'm like,

516
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: you are loads better right now than you were a

517
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 3: couple days ago. You know, we can sit on the

518
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 3: phone and have normal conversations on the phone.

519
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to talk on the phone to people.

520
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 2: My dad did not want to talk on the phone

521
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: to people. But yeah, that's where we are, guys. I'm

522
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 2: feeling really positive. I have radiation starting Monday for a week,

523
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 2: and then immune therapy is every three weeks. That's just

524
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 2: one day. They have to spread it out because immunotherapy.

525
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 2: I didn't realize this, but immune therapy can you a

526
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 2: little harder than radiation. But I mean, I know this

527
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 2: has been a long podcast and it's been heavy topics,

528
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 2: but the main point of this is I wish the

529
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 2: second that I felt those headaches. I wish the second

530
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 2: that I started not feeling like myself, I would have

531
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 2: gone to the doctor and gotten checked.

532
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 3: That's why you have to listen to your body.

533
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 2: You have to. But I think it's you know, when

534
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 2: you're going through a lot of different changes, you make

535
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 2: a lot of justifications. Well, life gets.

536
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: Busy and you know you don't want to take the

537
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 3: time to go into the doctor, or you know, it's

538
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 3: just it's just life in general, and going through divorce

539
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 3: and moving from house to house and doing all those things.

540
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 4: You didn't think about it. You thought you were just

541
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 4: going to push through.

542
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 2: It and it was going to be okay. I mean,

543
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 2: I think it's pretty cool though that I figured it out,

544
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 2: Like I if I would have waited any longer, god

545
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 2: knows what would have happened. You know, Like I knew

546
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 2: that day I needed to go, and then I had

547
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 2: surgery a day later, you know, like they Yeah, that

548
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 2: was when I got to the point where I couldn't

549
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 2: go anymore. I knew it, And so I'm really grateful,

550
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 2: and I think that moving forward, you know, I've I've

551
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 2: changed a lot of things and in my life.

552
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 3: I think that's a really big thing for you, yeah,

553
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 3: is that you have to take time for yourself and

554
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 3: you don't have to do everything. I know your schedule

555
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 3: is the most important thing in your life and you

556
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 3: want to be able to I'm doing this, this is

557
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 3: this is this, like right now, going through treatment, Like

558
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 3: it's okay to lay event, it's okay not to feel good.

559
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 3: I know you want to get back to normal life

560
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 3: and that your drive right there. You'll be fine, girl.

561
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 3: I have no doubt you are going to be fine

562
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 3: because you just keep going and you are probably the

563
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 3: strongest person I've ever met in my life. In my life,

564
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 3: I have not even been to the gym in four weeks,

565
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 3: and I can't eat, you know, and you're the one

566
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 3: going through it. So I just admire you, thank so

567
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 3: many levels, and I love you so much.

568
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 2: I love you too, and I've really really missed you.

569
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 2: And I I never freaking thought that I would be

570
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 2: sad not to talk about Shep's jacked up relationship with

571
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 2: the chick from Sienna. I cannot even from the hospital.

572
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 2: I had to text Shep. I was like, what are

573
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 2: you doing? This is embursing, This is embarrassing, and He's like,

574
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 2: you don't know the full story, and I go, I

575
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 2: don't need to know the full story because what I saw, No,

576
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 2: but I need to get back into recapping. I'm excited.

577
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 2: I still don't know the date today, do you know, Tam,

578
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 2: what's the eleventh? Maybe the twelfth? I'm not sure.

579
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, yeah, I know, and in all in due time,

580
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 3: you know, you just you don't know how you know?

581
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,959
Speaker 3: Tomorrow is so we are here for you. I am

582
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: here for you. You can get on the pod. I'll

583
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 3: be more than happy you get on the pod with you.

584
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 3: I can't wait to your back full time. But just

585
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 3: know that you don't have to push it.

586
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 2: You don't well you have to push it, oh God,

587
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 2: because I.

588
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 3: Why are you gonna come film with me?

589
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 2: I am not saying that. I say that I personally

590
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 2: I already get shipped for being biased. I don't want

591
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 2: to have to go through a whole season of justifying

592
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 2: why term mcqui because of fricking lunatics like no, no, no,

593
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 2: You're gonna have to get that together and I'll.

594
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 4: Figure it out.

595
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 3: I'm just it's not about me right now. What I'm

596
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 3: going through is what I'm going through.

597
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 2: It's about you. Huh uh oh jeez, no, no, here

598
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 2: we go. Listen, this is too teas in a pod

599
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 2: and we've talked a lot about me today, so I'm

600
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 2: going to mention.

601
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 3: I mean, definitely you haven't helped my situation out a

602
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 3: little bit.

603
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 2: But it's not all you.

604
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 3: It's it's a multitude of things that are going on

605
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 3: in my life right now that are making it really

606
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 3: hard for me to.

607
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 2: I'd like to a housewife, Well, I'd like to see

608
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 2: those things play out on camera, because that's the housewives

609
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 2: are about, is seeing things play out on camera when

610
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 2: times are tough. So Tam, yes, yes, you guys don't.

611
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 2: I don't know what's going to end up happening. But

612
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 2: if Tam goes back, everybody can send me flowers. You

613
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 2: also need to get back on the horse.

614
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 3: Yes, well, hey, wait a minute, how is this turning

615
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 3: on me?

616
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: Geez? Well, I told you I was feeling better.

617
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 3: I know, I know, I know, I know. Can I

618
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 3: ask you a serious question that we haven't really talked

619
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 3: about too much? Maybe, how are you really feeling? Like? Mentally?

620
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 4: Like are you? I know you're so strong on the exterior.

621
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 2: I know you are.

622
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 3: I know that's who you are. I'm somebody that acts

623
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,720
Speaker 3: like that all the time, and I'm just in the past.

624
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know.

625
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 3: A few weeks I'm crumbling inside.

626
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 2: I would say that I'm doing significantly better. It was

627
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 2: so I can't when I didn't have like my wits

628
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 2: about me, and I felt lost. I felt so alone

629
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: and so sad, and like I had moments of being like,

630
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 2: I don't know that anyone's like given me like a

631
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:41,360
Speaker 2: real hug, you know, like there's you know, I'm I

632
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 2: was really really sad. But I feel like right now

633
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 2: I'm starting to see the light and I'm starting to

634
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 2: think about the future, and I feel like for the

635
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: first time, I'm able to like set goals and for me,

636
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 2: a lot of shitty things have happened in my life

637
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 2: that I haven't talked about. You know, I'm not one

638
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 2: to like stew and like the past, but this definitely

639
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 2: was a wake up call. And you know, there's certain

640
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 2: things that I'm really grateful about, like you know, me

641
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 2: and Edwin being friends, being able to laugh, being able

642
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 2: to have him there. But also I would say, just

643
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 2: living in general, Yeah.

644
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 4: You're a fighter, You're gonna get through this.

645
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so too. Oh, I need my hair

646
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 2: to grow out.

647
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 4: I think you're rocking the ball.

648
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,359
Speaker 3: You're saying that as you And by the way, I'm

649
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 3: not gonna be that friend that's gonna shave my head

650
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 3: just because you did.

651
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 5: It.

652
00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 2: Ain't even doing some crazy shit recently. You're my Britney's fears.

653
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 3: Trust me, That's how I felt lately. No, I got

654
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,439
Speaker 3: I have a square head. I have a square head,

655
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 3: and I have a lot.

656
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 4: Of lumps and bumps, and oh.

657
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 2: You have a lot of lumps and bumps. I have

658
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,439
Speaker 2: like nine million stitches. I can't even feel this part

659
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: of my head. But I'm so sorry about your lumps

660
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 2: and bumps.

661
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,479
Speaker 3: And I think I have like horns that are trying

662
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:26,880
Speaker 3: to come out at the top of my head, but

663
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: they won't. A devil, I have facelift scar like I know, no, well,

664
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 3: I don't have that.

665
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 2: Face you have. Well, I definitely don't feel like I

666
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 2: have that face right now. That's the other thing that

667
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 2: we don't really talk about is like when your body

668
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:48,280
Speaker 2: and all those things change, like trying to give yourself

669
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 2: grace and being like it's okay that these things change

670
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 2: and you're you're gonna You're gonna go back to normal.

671
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 3: But you're on steroids right now, so the naturally you're complaining.

672
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 4: Okay, but you but you were complaining.

673
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:05,399
Speaker 3: I'm gaining weight.

674
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 2: I'm gaining weight.

675
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's good. You need some weight on you, Okay,

676
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,359
Speaker 3: But you told me. One of the things you said

677
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 3: to me was what is going on? I'm hearing all

678
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 3: these things on the internet. And I had a conversation

679
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 3: with Alex. You are gonna go back and you're gonna

680
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 3: do your job. If I have to gain weight and

681
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 3: be bald, you have to go and fight with bitches.

682
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 3: And I have never laughed so hard in my life.

683
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 3: Like Eddie's like, we were actually at the dinner. I

684
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 3: told him me and Teddy paying phone tag if she

685
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 3: calls an answer and deal with it because he hates

686
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 3: for me being on the phone. He's like, cool, yeah,

687
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 3: I get it.

688
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 2: So we're at dinner and.

689
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 3: I'm laughing so hard at the things you're saying to me,

690
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 3: and he looked at me and goes, I haven't seen

691
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 3: you laugh like that in so long.

692
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 2: Well, because someone needed to be honest with you. But no, no,

693
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 2: I m M, I'm gonna I can't even tell you

694
00:37:58,200 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 2: if I'm gonna make you do the pod with if

695
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:05,359
Speaker 2: you don't go back the list of people that I

696
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 2: have with you know what, I'm not ready anymore, guys.

697
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 2: I'm gonna need a little bit more of a break torture.

698
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: TAM's gonna pod with blah blah blah. I also, I

699
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 2: can't not say this how grateful I am for the

700
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 2: care team that I had at Cedars. They put up

701
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 2: a lot with me. I also had such an incredible

702
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 2: oncologist and neurologist, and my surgeon was absolutely unbelievable and

703
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 2: worked miracles. So I'm forever grateful. Oh and you know

704
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 2: my nurses and my friends that put up with me

705
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 2: through all of this. Yeah, thanks guys for listening to

706
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 2: another episode of to Teas and a Pod. It was

707
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 2: very uplifting. I'm sure.

708
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 3: Sorry about you drive home from work today, So if.

709
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 2: You want to get depressed, ask your friends to tune

710
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: in as well and give us five stars. And also

711
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 2: slide into Tamor's DMS and ask why when she quits,

712
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 2: she decided to do it with a pink background, even

713
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:24,240
Speaker 2: more embarrassing than all the other stuff she's done for

714
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 2: Peter's sake, Even tumored up, I was like, pink background.

715
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 2: It's the default one. God all right, thanks guys, we'll

716
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:37,439
Speaker 2: talk to you next week.