Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big
Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast, new listeners, old listeners. Wherever
Speaker 1: you are in the world, it is so great to
Speaker 1: have you here. Back for another episode another topic. As
Speaker 1: we break down the psychology of our twenties today, we
Speaker 1: are in for such a trait. I'm kind of kidding
Speaker 1: because this is perhaps not the most exciting topic, but
Speaker 1: I think it's one of the most valuable during this decade,
Speaker 1: and that is how we can use psychology, science, even
Speaker 1: sociology to build self discipline. I have biggest tips for
Speaker 1: ensuring that you have all the tools to pursue your
Speaker 1: goals successfully, whatever domain they're in, whether that's fitness, lifestyle changes, work,
Speaker 1: creative projects, even just your daily tasks. I think that
Speaker 1: discipline is such an interesting concept to me, especially in
Speaker 1: our twenties, because it is seriously the secret ingredient to
Speaker 1: achieving anything you want in life. Yet so many of
Speaker 1: us treat it as optional or believe that it's too
Speaker 1: hard to achieve. I think that's because of a number
Speaker 1: of misconceptions that we have about self discipline, the first
Speaker 1: one being that if you are disciplined, you need to
Speaker 1: be aiming for perfection. I think that belief keeps a
Speaker 1: lot of us from ever even starting something, because we
Speaker 1: truly do buy into this attitude until this belief that
Speaker 1: we need to never make mistakes or experience setbacks in
Speaker 1: order to get to our end goal. This is so
Speaker 1: far from the true with anyone who has done anything
Speaker 1: cool or interesting or amazing with their life will tell
Speaker 1: you that part of the process is learning from the
Speaker 1: times you almost gave up but kept pushing anyways, the
Speaker 1: times that you stayed consistent you implemented your habits day
Speaker 1: in and day out. Secondly, we tend to believe that
Speaker 1: self discipline means sacrifice and giving up all the things
Speaker 1: that we enjoy for our one major goal. Again, I
Speaker 1: personally believe that that's incorrect. Sometimes there is a small
Speaker 1: amount of sacrifice that is necessary, but mainly it just
Speaker 1: means change. It just means substitution, swapping out one behavior
Speaker 1: or habit for another one. And instead of viewing that
Speaker 1: as a sacrifice, which I think creates a lot of
Speaker 1: negative attitudes towards self discipline. We should instead be viewing
Speaker 1: it as an investment in yourself that you just weren't
Speaker 1: previously making. And finally, the negative belief that keeps us
Speaker 1: from self discipline is that it's going to be this
Speaker 1: hard forever. It's always going to be a struggle. I
Speaker 1: actually think it's the opposite. Solely relying on on motivation
Speaker 1: and inspiration that is a lot more difficult because you're
Speaker 1: basing your efforts on something that is, let's be honest,
Speaker 1: quite fickle and not always a constant. You're forcing yourself
Speaker 1: to do things when you have no incentive in the
Speaker 1: moment to do them. That is what drains our energy.
Speaker 1: But self discipline and consistency is our safety net in
Speaker 1: those situations. It is the thing that remains constant despite
Speaker 1: our whims, despite our changing energy levels, despite our mood,
Speaker 1: and you know, as time goes on. Discipline really creates
Speaker 1: the habits that make any task a lot easier to do,
Speaker 1: even when we don't want to do it. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: We mostly need self discipline to do things that honestly,
Speaker 1: we don't really want to do. You know, you don't
Speaker 1: need self discipline to binge. Watch the entire season of
Speaker 1: Mariative First Sight. You know, you don't need self discipline
Speaker 1: to sleep in till eleven am every day. What we
Speaker 1: do need it for is to get us into the
Speaker 1: habits and the routines we know are going to get
Speaker 1: us a better outcome. We know they're going to give
Speaker 1: us a better life than what we currently have, even
Speaker 1: if they are the harder alternative. I think we often
Speaker 1: set out to do something to change our life, to
Speaker 1: change our career, to change our future, with a lot
Speaker 1: of energy, and we have a lot of gusto, and
Speaker 1: we are totally sure of the future that we want,
Speaker 1: and we fantasize about the outcome, and we think it's
Speaker 1: going to be super easy, that we'll always have this
Speaker 1: level of motivation. The thing is, though, when we only
Speaker 1: focus on the end goal and how great that's going
Speaker 1: to feel, we often don't think about what it's going
Speaker 1: to take to get us there, all the small daily steps.
Speaker 1: And self discipline is that bridge between wanting something and
Speaker 1: realizing that thing, staying focused even when there are a
Speaker 1: million other things that have your tension. And that's often
Speaker 1: the case in our twenties. It's also about having the
Speaker 1: foresight to understand that there will be setbacks, but being
Speaker 1: consistent having self control will allow you to overcome them.
Speaker 1: It is one of our most valuable skills. It's very
Speaker 1: much like a muscle, and it's one that we strengthen
Speaker 1: over time and with consistency, and that we need to
Speaker 1: train to get the most out of. So lucky for you,
Speaker 1: there is so much psychology out there in the world,
Speaker 1: hidden in academic articles, hidden in research, that can really
Speaker 1: enable us to be more committed to our long term
Speaker 1: goals using self discipline. Rather than just encouraging you to
Speaker 1: be disciplined and to be more consistent and to be
Speaker 1: more motivated and to have strong willpower, and just leaving
Speaker 1: it at that, I want to actually give you five precise,
Speaker 1: practical steps for building this skill in a manner that
Speaker 1: is actually doable and will inevitably help you realize the
Speaker 1: dream life that I think we all want. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to cut to the chase, because I really don't
Speaker 1: like when I listen to a podcast that's like five
Speaker 1: tips to do this, ten things you need to know
Speaker 1: about X, and they don't give you the list at
Speaker 1: the very top and then you kind of end up
Speaker 1: getting a little bit lost in the weeds. But in
Speaker 1: this episode, we're going to talk about these five tips.
Speaker 1: Understanding the psychology behind what motivates you, leveraging our social
Speaker 1: desirability bias, building microhabits, creating invariable reward by manipulating your
Speaker 1: own dopamine levels in response to gratification and challenges, Shifting
Speaker 1: from a learned helplessness to a learned industriousness approach. And
Speaker 1: then finally one bonus tip for those of you who
Speaker 1: get to the very end. That is a very high
Speaker 1: level list. There's going to be quite a bit of
Speaker 1: science in this, but it's super digestible, I think, without
Speaker 1: further ado, let's get into it and start with point
Speaker 1: number one, understanding what motivates you. You cannot force yourself
Speaker 1: to do anything if you have no idea why you
Speaker 1: want to do it. Sometimes we set these very obscure
Speaker 1: goals like I want to be healthier, I want to
Speaker 1: be more focused, And the thing is is that, yeah,
Speaker 1: those are amazing goals, right, but they're actually too simple
Speaker 1: to build self discipline around because it doesn't contain any
Speaker 1: of the detail that we need to work with. It
Speaker 1: doesn't get to the why. Why do you want to
Speaker 1: be more focused and in what area of your life?
Speaker 1: I see people do this a lot. I do this
Speaker 1: a lot, especially with their fitness goals. You know, they
Speaker 1: just say something like I want to run a ten
Speaker 1: k or I want to get fitter. Those are amazing goals,
Speaker 1: But what's your timeline here? Why do you want to
Speaker 1: do that? What is motivating you towards this outcome? Self
Speaker 1: discipline is created through detail, So how do we get
Speaker 1: to that core ambition that's at the center of any
Speaker 1: of our goals. Well, we need to examine behavioral change
Speaker 1: theory to really understand what motivates us towards something. Now,
Speaker 1: this could be anything, right, It could be a sense
Speaker 1: of accomplishment. Maybe you like the idea of winning, You
Speaker 1: like impressing others, you like impressing yourself. Maybe you are
Speaker 1: unhappy with where you are at currently and you want
Speaker 1: to improve your life. Maybe you just want to be happier,
Speaker 1: you just want to be healthier. These are all super valid,
Speaker 1: high level reasons. But when you create a goal, I'm
Speaker 1: going to use that ten k example again and say
Speaker 1: I run a ten k, you need to include two
Speaker 1: further details. Firstly, you need to include a timeline and
Speaker 1: you need to include a motivator. So I want to
Speaker 1: run a ten k in six months because I want
Speaker 1: to show myself that I can do it. Or I
Speaker 1: want to run a ten k in November this year
Speaker 1: because doing so will make me fitter and improve how
Speaker 1: I feel in my body. In those goals, you have
Speaker 1: that those two additional pieces of information that make them actionable.
Speaker 1: You have a timeline and you have a motivator, and
Speaker 1: those two additional points will allow you to push yourself
Speaker 1: and take action regardless of how you're feeling day to day.
Speaker 1: And that is essentially the very definition of self discipline.
Speaker 1: The reason why those details work is because they create
Speaker 1: what we call smart goals. They are specific, they are measurable.
Speaker 1: You know when you've achieved the goal. It's attainable. It
Speaker 1: serves your overarching mission or ambition, which is maybe to
Speaker 1: get fit, and there's a timeframe. Now, something I want
Speaker 1: you to know is that you are a lot less
Speaker 1: likely to be successful in building the necessary self discipline
Speaker 1: to achieve a goal if your motivation for the goal
Speaker 1: is external rather than internal. For example, if you're trying
Speaker 1: to accomplish something because you think it will make other
Speaker 1: people happy, or that you're going to prove them wrong,
Speaker 1: or to avoid some weird threat like a threat of
Speaker 1: getting fired, it is going to be a lot less
Speaker 1: effective than wanting to accomplish something for yourself. That is
Speaker 1: because internal self discipline is self directed, self imposed, self managed.
Speaker 1: It is not reliant on the possibility of a loss,
Speaker 1: or the fear of external judgment or punishment or any
Speaker 1: of those things. And what they've found time and time
Speaker 1: again across multiple studies is that this sense of doing
Speaker 1: something just for you is a lot more powerful and enjoyable.
Speaker 1: So if your motivation is centered around the opinions of others,
Speaker 1: trying to impress someone else to fulfill some social norm
Speaker 1: or expectation, I think at this point it's really wise
Speaker 1: to change that to an internal motivator, an internal reason,
Speaker 1: or find a new goal, because in three months time,
Speaker 1: when you've stopped thinking about that person and they're no
Speaker 1: longer relevant in your life, you still want to be
Speaker 1: able to stay on track in your journey to accomplishing anything,
Speaker 1: to being disciplined. It's also important to keep coming back
Speaker 1: to that. Why the reason this is effective is because
Speaker 1: of what we call expectancy theory in psychology. The basic
Speaker 1: premises of this theory is that you are more likely
Speaker 1: to achieve your goals when you remember why you set
Speaker 1: them and why they are important. This is because our
Speaker 1: motivation is based on how much we value a goal
Speaker 1: and how much you believe you have the capacity to
Speaker 1: achieve your goal. When you return regularly to why you're
Speaker 1: doing this, the what, the why, the motivation, you highlight
Speaker 1: the value of the goal to yourself, and you reiterate
Speaker 1: that you're capable, that there is a future outcome there
Speaker 1: that you want to be consistent for you can do
Speaker 1: hard things. Some ways to kind of aid in that
Speaker 1: active remembering of your motivator of your why is to
Speaker 1: create a vision board for the outcome. To consume content
Speaker 1: on social media, through podcasts and books that align with
Speaker 1: your goal, because these things act as cues and remind
Speaker 1: us as to what you're working towards, so it's easier
Speaker 1: for you to stay disciplined in the pursuit of this
Speaker 1: sometimes far off objective. It's also important, I think, to
Speaker 1: tell people about your goal for that additional accountability. Now,
Speaker 1: this doesn't mean that you're doing it for them or
Speaker 1: that you're reverting to external motivation more so that you're
Speaker 1: leveraging what we call social desirability bias in aid of
Speaker 1: your goal. This leads me to my next big step
Speaker 1: or tip for building self discipline. Enlist social support or
Speaker 1: even accountability. And this is effective because it leverages something
Speaker 1: that we know about ourselves as humans, which is that
Speaker 1: we are very social creatures and we want to make
Speaker 1: others happy. We want to impress them. We don't want
Speaker 1: to let them down. When we feel like we will
Speaker 1: let someone down if we don't show up to a run,
Speaker 1: or we don't get something done on time, or we
Speaker 1: cancel on them or we break a promise, this encourages
Speaker 1: us to be more disciplined and you know, true to
Speaker 1: our word because sometimes you know, it's super easy to
Speaker 1: cancel on yourself. It's super easy to just say like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that today, because you are
Speaker 1: both the enforcer and the doer. However, when we add
Speaker 1: in a little sprinkle of social accountability, the weight of
Speaker 1: not doing something we said we were going to do
Speaker 1: becomes a lot heavier, meaning that we are more likely
Speaker 1: to do that thing to avoid additional and secondary feelings
Speaker 1: of shame or guilt. It's also the case that sometimes
Speaker 1: we actually just perform better when other people are watching us.
Speaker 1: This is called the social desirability bias. It's why people
Speaker 1: will more likely to behave in a pro social way
Speaker 1: when they know that cameras are on them or help
Speaker 1: someone else out when they can see that other people
Speaker 1: are going to observe that. Now, this concept of social
Speaker 1: desirability bias. This was initially used to describe how people
Speaker 1: like to overstate their positive traits and understate their negative
Speaker 1: traits in social and clinical research, but we can now
Speaker 1: apply it to this arena of goal setting. We want
Speaker 1: others to think that we are good people. That is
Speaker 1: a very basic human desire, and we know that attributes
Speaker 1: like self discipline or hard work, they're very positively viewed.
Speaker 1: They make us look like good people. So when we
Speaker 1: have the chance to show that we possess these traits
Speaker 1: in front of others, we are much more likely to
Speaker 1: do so. How do we apply this knowledge in the
Speaker 1: strengthening of the self discipline muscle. It's actually really really simple.
Speaker 1: You just need to create opportunities for yourself to be
Speaker 1: accountable to others in the pursuit of your goal. So
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some examples here. If you
Speaker 1: want to be more focused at work, tell a colleague
Speaker 1: your to do list and have them check in with
Speaker 1: you at the end of the day and confirm what
Speaker 1: you've done. If you want to run a ten k
Speaker 1: oh no, I'm using this example quite a bit, but
Speaker 1: sign up for a run club and make a commitment
Speaker 1: to be there two days a week running with others.
Speaker 1: Even better, sign up as an admin, sign up as
Speaker 1: like an organizer. Then you have to be there. You
Speaker 1: want to be more self disciplined when it comes to
Speaker 1: a creative project or a side hustle, find someone else
Speaker 1: who wants to do the same thing and carve out
Speaker 1: two evenings, maybe even one, where you guys are committed
Speaker 1: to getting on Zoom together or catching up in each
Speaker 1: other's houses and just working. It's like having a standing appointment.
Speaker 1: It increases your level of commitment and discipline to do
Speaker 1: hard things by doing them alongside other people, build like
Speaker 1: a solid work routine, a solid lifestyle routine around other
Speaker 1: people as well as yourself. It also just makes it
Speaker 1: a lot more enjoyable. You know, I have an example
Speaker 1: of how this is working for me. At the moment,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to really prioritize my physical fitness. I went
Speaker 1: traveling for two months, and I noticed that I lost
Speaker 1: a bit of steam. I wasn't as fit as before,
Speaker 1: and so I set myself a news resolution to exercise
Speaker 1: four times a week. You know what, It would have
Speaker 1: been really easy for me to have just made that
Speaker 1: promise to myself, not told anyone, and quit after a
Speaker 1: few weeks. But I leveraged social desirability and social accountability.
Speaker 1: I told as many friends as I could about it.
Speaker 1: I created ways to get other people involved to keep
Speaker 1: me accountable. So every Sunday, I know that I go
Speaker 1: for a rum with my friend k and I don't
Speaker 1: want to let her down by not showing up. On Tuesdays,
Speaker 1: I go boxing with my friend Emily, I want to
Speaker 1: show up. I want to keep the promise, not to
Speaker 1: myself and my larger goal, but the promise to them
Speaker 1: to do these weekly steps and activities that allow us
Speaker 1: to also connect. Moving on to our third tip, let's
Speaker 1: talk about microhabits. Now. I'm gonna keep this one rather brief,
Speaker 1: because if you're interested in this topic, we actually did
Speaker 1: a whole episode on this. It's episode fifty three, The
Speaker 1: Power of microhabits. If you want to go and listen
Speaker 1: to that, and I don't want to just be repeating myself,
Speaker 1: but it is honestly such a life changing, amazing strategy.
Speaker 1: So microhabits, if you haven't yet heard of this term,
Speaker 1: they are these small everyday actions or tiny itty bitty
Speaker 1: routines that turn into automatic behaviors through repetition. The best
Speaker 1: thing about microhabits is that they're meant to be eagersy,
Speaker 1: but as you build them up, they create self discipline.
Speaker 1: Some examples of this are going outside at least once
Speaker 1: a day, reading one page of a book before bed,
Speaker 1: eating one server of vegetables with every meal, walking to
Speaker 1: work instead of driving. Those things all seem super doable, right,
Speaker 1: And that's the point. It's because they're meant to be.
Speaker 1: They counteract that all or nothing thinking that gets a
Speaker 1: lot of us stuck when we're starting out, you know,
Speaker 1: we immediately think that big is best when it comes
Speaker 1: to getting started. We want to eat healthier, so we
Speaker 1: throw out everything processed in our kitchen replace it with
Speaker 1: foods that we just actually don't eat, that we're not
Speaker 1: used to, and we're not giving ourselves time to adapt
Speaker 1: to a new routine and lifestyle, meaning that we're more
Speaker 1: likely to fail because we haven't adjusted. And it's not
Speaker 1: sustainable when we don't have those habits down pat yet.
Speaker 1: We're just changing too much too soon. And some people
Speaker 1: can do that, some people can go cold turkey or
Speaker 1: all or nothing. But I actually think that it takes
Speaker 1: a lot more effort. It puts a lot more strain
Speaker 1: on your cognitive and physical resources when you apply micro
Speaker 1: habits instead, you break down your big goal into super
Speaker 1: manageable tasks that actually stop you from getting stuck in
Speaker 1: the procrastination trap of not knowing where to start. It
Speaker 1: stops you from feeling overwhelmed, and it helps you build
Speaker 1: momentum so that it doesn't It's not that age old
Speaker 1: story where you set some goal, you achieve it, and
Speaker 1: then you go straight back to how you were six
Speaker 1: months before. It actually creates like a lifestyle change that
Speaker 1: is going to stay with you for a lot longer. Now,
Speaker 1: I want you to pause for a second and think
Speaker 1: back to that goal that you are setting. What are
Speaker 1: three small microhabits you could do throughout your week that
Speaker 1: would aid in achieving that goal? Make them super specific,
Speaker 1: but also make them easy. Now, what reasons do you
Speaker 1: have to not do those things, even that they require
Speaker 1: so little effort and investment. When you start with those
Speaker 1: small microhabits, you train yourself to be more disciplined. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're going to take a small, short, little break for
Speaker 1: a second, but when we return, we're going to talk
Speaker 1: about those final two tips I have for you, and
Speaker 1: of course our bonus tip. We're going to be right
Speaker 1: back after this break, So I'm going to teach you
Speaker 1: how to hack your brain and your motivational systems using
Speaker 1: some of the most basic principles of neuroscience that create
Speaker 1: some of the most non basic behavioral changes and habits
Speaker 1: that I know for building your self discipline. This is
Speaker 1: the thing about this science. It is so simple, but
Speaker 1: it is so effective. So when it comes to building
Speaker 1: self discipline, the neurotransmitter we need to be most conscious
Speaker 1: of is dopamine. Dopamine is often thought of as our
Speaker 1: happy chemical, right. It's the thing that you get when
Speaker 1: you have a tasty meal, when you drink caffeine, when
Speaker 1: you experience something pleasurable. But it's also so much more
Speaker 1: than that. It's not just about pleasure and hedonism and enjoyment.
Speaker 1: It is also the neurotransmitter that is most crucial when
Speaker 1: it comes to motivational control because of the role that
Speaker 1: it plays in reward guided learning and self discipline. When
Speaker 1: we do a task that we like, we get a
Speaker 1: spike of dopamine. When we achieve a goal, again, we
Speaker 1: get dopamine that is going to drive us to keep
Speaker 1: working towards our larger ambition, to keep performing those daily
Speaker 1: and weekly actions that are necessary for cultivating success, progress
Speaker 1: and self discipline, and we can exploit the science behind
Speaker 1: that to keep us consistent. So the biggest thing that
Speaker 1: stops us from having self control or being disciplined is
Speaker 1: buying into a mediate temptation and our whims. Of course,
Speaker 1: it is going to feel so much better in the
Speaker 1: moment to stay in bed and relax when you should
Speaker 1: really be doing your big to do list. Of course,
Speaker 1: it's going to feel momentarily better to procrastinate studying in
Speaker 1: favor of scrolling through social media, because those alternative activities
Speaker 1: give us pleasure. However, what we're encountering in those moments
Speaker 1: is what we call instant gratification, and that instant gratification
Speaker 1: is actually just a quick dopamine shot that over time
Speaker 1: lowers our dopamine baseline and it creates what we know
Speaker 1: is the down regulation of pleasure. So this occurs when
Speaker 1: the number of receptors in our brain for a neurotransmitter,
Speaker 1: in this case, dopamine, are decreased because of an increase
Speaker 1: in that neurotransmitter is levels, meaning that we need less
Speaker 1: points of impact, less points of connection to actually have
Speaker 1: access to that same amount of pleasure because we have
Speaker 1: so much of this chemical flooding our brain. So this
Speaker 1: is the downside of buying into instant gratification. Pleasure actually
Speaker 1: becomes less pleasant because there is so much of it,
Speaker 1: but it's not at the same quality as the pleasure
Speaker 1: and the satisfaction we would get from a long term goal.
Speaker 1: But because we have fewer receptors, it also means that
Speaker 1: that dopamine becomes less powerful in keeping us focused and
Speaker 1: staying on track. So the alternative to this is to
Speaker 1: hold off on instant gratification for a long term reward
Speaker 1: that comes from self discipline. Obviously, this involves scheduling when
Speaker 1: you're going to give yourself those small spikes, for example,
Speaker 1: only letting yourself sleep in once a week rather than
Speaker 1: every day so that it becomes more special, or giving
Speaker 1: yourself a break to scroll on your phone whilst you're
Speaker 1: studying once every two hours rather than once every thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: Because this increases our dopamine baseline, you are delaying gratification
Speaker 1: for a better feeling later on. So by managing your
Speaker 1: dopamine in this way, you experience more fulfillment because you're
Speaker 1: not desensitizing yourself to all this pleasure. Another way to
Speaker 1: utilize our dopamine systems to become more self disciplined is
Speaker 1: to create a rewards schedule for yourself when it comes
Speaker 1: to your long term goals. If you set out to
Speaker 1: get straight a's or hds in every course that you're
Speaker 1: taking this semester, it is going to take a while
Speaker 1: before you get to experience the rewards for your efforts. Instead,
Speaker 1: what you need to do is create a schedule of
Speaker 1: positive reinforcement for yourself that is aligned directly to your
Speaker 1: efforts and the small achievements that you're going to come
Speaker 1: across in pursuit of your goal. So I'm going to
Speaker 1: keep using this academic example because I think it is
Speaker 1: such a great way of demonstrating this. If your end
Speaker 1: goal is to get a four point zero by the
Speaker 1: end of the semester. Break this into smaller goals. To
Speaker 1: get that HD, you also need to get an A
Speaker 1: in your midsem and you also need to get an
Speaker 1: A on your essay. Don't let those small accomplishments go
Speaker 1: unnoticed or unrewarded. Give yourself a little treat, let yourself
Speaker 1: have some dopamine in response, take yourself out for dinner,
Speaker 1: buy yourself something really nice, give yourself the day off.
Speaker 1: Managing our dopamine systems doesn't mean completely denying yourselves any
Speaker 1: dopamine that isn't associated with our long term goal, right.
Speaker 1: It's about just making yourself or achieving a greater balance
Speaker 1: so that when you want to use your dopamine. I
Speaker 1: know that sounds quite strange, but like when you, yeah,
Speaker 1: when you want to use your dopamine for the reasons
Speaker 1: that important to you, you actually have access to it,
Speaker 1: rather than feeling like there's this whole chemical process going
Speaker 1: on in your brain that means that you can't actually
Speaker 1: set goals and meet them. So this thing that we're
Speaker 1: talking about, this rewards schedule, there are a few caveats.
Speaker 1: The important thing is that we want to use a
Speaker 1: continuous reinforcement schedule, whereby every time we perform the target
Speaker 1: behavior or achieve the target outcome, in this instance, achieving
Speaker 1: a grade that contributes to a good overall GPA, you
Speaker 1: need to be rewarded for that, so it therefore encourages
Speaker 1: us to keep doing those things. The thing is, you
Speaker 1: might experience some boredom and displeasure during the transition, but
Speaker 1: soon your quality of life actually increases, and it's shown
Speaker 1: that we do have stronger self control, We are happier,
Speaker 1: we do experience fewer negative emotions, and you actually appreciate
Speaker 1: pleasure even more. I think doing hard things being self
Speaker 1: disciplined is a shift from instant gratification. But you'll find
Speaker 1: that when you delay reward, your satisfaction actually increases. You're
Speaker 1: going to show it more. You feel good about yourself,
Speaker 1: rather than in those moments where you just live your
Speaker 1: life based on short term pleasure and hedonism and giving
Speaker 1: yourself anything that you want. You know, if you were
Speaker 1: you know, I always think about this in the sense
Speaker 1: of like being the parent to your inner child. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't let yourself like run around and eat sugar whenever
Speaker 1: you wanted it. You wouldn't let yourself stay up till
Speaker 1: four am if you were like a twelve if you
Speaker 1: were like a six year old child. So why are
Speaker 1: you letting your adult self do things that you know
Speaker 1: are self sabotaging your efforts for a bigger goal. That
Speaker 1: is the main premise of using this reward scheduling. You
Speaker 1: want to be in control of how you behave and
Speaker 1: when you want to stay motivated, when you want to
Speaker 1: be focused, You want to make sure that you have
Speaker 1: the resources and the passion and the energy available to
Speaker 1: you to do that. Our fifth tip for today is
Speaker 1: possibly my favorite. That's why I saved it for last, obviously,
Speaker 1: because I really never hear people talking about this, and
Speaker 1: it's one of the most fascinating areas of motivational and
Speaker 1: learning psychology. It is the principle of learned helplessness versus
Speaker 1: learned industriousness, and how shifting from one to the other
Speaker 1: can actually get us to enjoy doing difficult things, Which
Speaker 1: sounds great, right. Wouldn't it be great if you enjoyed
Speaker 1: the hard things on your to do list? Let me
Speaker 1: explain this a little bit further. So, learned helplessness occurs
Speaker 1: when we feel like no matter what we do, we
Speaker 1: cannot escape bad outcomes or failures, and so we just
Speaker 1: give up. Researchers, when they first discovered this, began to
Speaker 1: observe it in animals, whereby they would keep them restrained
Speaker 1: and then expose them to some really negative aversive condition
Speaker 1: like pain or an unpleasant noise. These animals couldn't escape,
Speaker 1: as sad as you know, it's pretty sad what they
Speaker 1: used to do back then. But what it showed was
Speaker 1: that even when they let the animals out, even though
Speaker 1: when they removed the leash or the collar, they still
Speaker 1: kept enduring the painful situation, even though now they could
Speaker 1: get away from it. They had learned that they were
Speaker 1: helpless in changing their situation. And although a lot of
Speaker 1: this initial research was conducted on animals, we can see
Speaker 1: that in human behavior as well. No matter what you do,
Speaker 1: maybe you found that you just can't stick to a diet,
Speaker 1: you can't stay focused on your work, you can't get
Speaker 1: the outcome you want, the growth you want, the numbers
Speaker 1: you want because you're not seeing that correlation between action
Speaker 1: and reward. You lose faith in your self discipline in
Speaker 1: your actions, and you quit. So what is the alternative?
Speaker 1: In those situations. Well, it's about shifting from a learned
Speaker 1: helplessness mindset to a learned industriousness mindset. The difference here
Speaker 1: is that learned industriousness focuses on the pleasure in the
Speaker 1: action itself. We aren't just reliant on what we gain
Speaker 1: from the outcome, but just like the genuine sensation and
Speaker 1: good feelings that just come with working hard. I think
Speaker 1: this is so so important to have an equal investment
Speaker 1: in your goal but also feel like you're getting something
Speaker 1: out of the journey, that it's not just a slug,
Speaker 1: that there's nothing enjoyable about it. And I also think
Speaker 1: that you can feel excited by how much you can
Speaker 1: push yourself. You can romanticize the difficult times, the long nights,
Speaker 1: the exhausting runs, the hours of studying, instead of just
Speaker 1: romanticizing this future outcome that you're hoping for. And it
Speaker 1: has a lot of benefits for self discipline. Individuals who
Speaker 1: have high levels of industriousness they have a lot of
Speaker 1: history of applying greater efforts towards tasks. It's been demonstrated
Speaker 1: that they have more task persistence. They're less likely to
Speaker 1: quit when things get difficult because that difficulty is actually,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say enjoyable, but it's fulfilling. So
Speaker 1: how can we train ourselves to do this? How do
Speaker 1: we make that shift? What we need to do is
Speaker 1: begin to reward our actions, not just our outcomes, through
Speaker 1: pared reinforcement. So the gummy bear method is an excellent
Speaker 1: example of this. If you have twenty pages you need
Speaker 1: to read for a class, after every page, you give
Speaker 1: yourself a gummy bear or something that you like, making
Speaker 1: it so that you begin to associate hard work with
Speaker 1: something pleasant. We can also do this by romanticizing our labor.
Speaker 1: Instead of thinking, oh my god, I'm so exhausted, I
Speaker 1: don't want to work this hard, it would be so
Speaker 1: much easier to quit. Switch that attitude by deliberately creating
Speaker 1: thoughts like it's actually really exciting to see how far
Speaker 1: I can go. I think I'm going to look back
Speaker 1: on these moments with a lot of fondness and pride.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of myself for how I keep going.
Speaker 1: It is thrilling and stimulating to be doing these things
Speaker 1: that are difficult to push myself. We are reinforcing the
Speaker 1: feeling of high effort. As we get better at this,
Speaker 1: the self discipline that is contained in that becomes a
Speaker 1: valued part of our identity, whereby we begin to see
Speaker 1: ourselves as a hard worker, as someone with self control,
Speaker 1: as someone who is tenacious and passionate and kind of
Speaker 1: willing to do things that others can't. And in this way,
Speaker 1: you've shifted your goal from not just being internally motivated,
Speaker 1: but something that informs who you are and who you
Speaker 1: want to become, which is even more encouraging. Now, I
Speaker 1: want to give you one final piece of advice when
Speaker 1: it comes to self discipline to finish off, and it
Speaker 1: may seem very contrary to the other things that we've
Speaker 1: talked about, but I think it's equally important. You need
Speaker 1: to let yourself fail, sometimes make mistakes, have slip ups,
Speaker 1: and still show yourself as much self compassion and love
Speaker 1: as you would if you were perfect at all times.
Speaker 1: You just can't hate yourself into self discipline. I'm going
Speaker 1: to say that again. You can't hate yourself into self
Speaker 1: discipline because self discipline comes from a place of care
Speaker 1: and investment in yourself. Time and time again, we see
Speaker 1: research that shows that when you use shame as a motivator,
Speaker 1: self blame, self hatred as a motivator. All that discipline
Speaker 1: becomes so much harder to keep up because you're doing
Speaker 1: it from a place of loathing and negativity. You can
Speaker 1: make mistakes. In fact, I think that it's really useful
Speaker 1: to reflect and grow. You can start something new and
Speaker 1: just not be the best at it. Not every day
Speaker 1: needs to be insanely productive. That's actually not sustainable. But
Speaker 1: what you do need to do is just show up,
Speaker 1: Just be consistent. Even if you're not being perfect, Even
Speaker 1: if you're only at the gym for ten minutes, you
Speaker 1: still wet, and you still are repeating a patterner behaviors
Speaker 1: that are going to become routine. You know, I think
Speaker 1: that if you're still listening right now, if you've made
Speaker 1: it this far, you're obviously super committed to yourself. You're
Speaker 1: obviously super committed to your goals. You're already miles ahead
Speaker 1: of everyone else who has already convinced themselves that even
Speaker 1: the first step in self discipline is too hard. And
Speaker 1: now I guess you also have the tools that you need.
Speaker 1: You know what needs to be done, and to be
Speaker 1: completely honest, I'm just super proud of you for even
Speaker 1: caring enough about yourself and your future to be considering
Speaker 1: this change in your life, whatever that may be. I
Speaker 1: think that self discipline is the secret ingredient. It is
Speaker 1: the master key to everything that you want in life.
Speaker 1: So I really hope that you have enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 1: I hope that you can apply this to your life,
Speaker 1: that you have learned something. If there's someone else in
Speaker 1: your life who you think might enjoy this, who you
Speaker 1: think might take something from this content, from this science
Speaker 1: that we've shared, please feel free to forward it onto them.
Speaker 1: Make sure that you are following and leave a five
Speaker 1: star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are listening
Speaker 1: to this right now. Of course, if there's an episode
Speaker 1: suggestion I say this at the end of every episode,
Speaker 1: please send it to me. You never know, I never
Speaker 1: know who else might relate to some of the things
Speaker 1: that are on your mind. And I take a lot
Speaker 1: of inspiration from what you guys are going through this
Speaker 1: episode in itself. You guys voted on this one, So
Speaker 1: if there's anything that is in your thoughts that you
Speaker 1: feel other people could benefit from, please send it my
Speaker 1: way at that Psychology podcast or at GEMMASPEG. We will
Speaker 1: be back next week with a special guest episode. On Tuesday,
Speaker 1: so see then