1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast, new listeners, old listeners. Wherever 6 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: you are in the world, it is so great to 7 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: have you here. Back for another episode another topic. As 8 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 1: we break down the psychology of our twenties today, we 9 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: are in for such a trait. I'm kind of kidding 10 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: because this is perhaps not the most exciting topic, but 11 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 1: I think it's one of the most valuable during this decade, 12 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 1: and that is how we can use psychology, science, even 13 00:00:56,360 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: sociology to build self discipline. I have biggest tips for 14 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: ensuring that you have all the tools to pursue your 15 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: goals successfully, whatever domain they're in, whether that's fitness, lifestyle changes, work, 16 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 1: creative projects, even just your daily tasks. I think that 17 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 1: discipline is such an interesting concept to me, especially in 18 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: our twenties, because it is seriously the secret ingredient to 19 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: achieving anything you want in life. Yet so many of 20 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: us treat it as optional or believe that it's too 21 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,839 Speaker 1: hard to achieve. I think that's because of a number 22 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 1: of misconceptions that we have about self discipline, the first 23 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: one being that if you are disciplined, you need to 24 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: be aiming for perfection. I think that belief keeps a 25 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: lot of us from ever even starting something, because we 26 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: truly do buy into this attitude until this belief that 27 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: we need to never make mistakes or experience setbacks in 28 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 1: order to get to our end goal. This is so 29 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: far from the true with anyone who has done anything 30 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: cool or interesting or amazing with their life will tell 31 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: you that part of the process is learning from the 32 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: times you almost gave up but kept pushing anyways, the 33 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: times that you stayed consistent you implemented your habits day 34 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: in and day out. Secondly, we tend to believe that 35 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: self discipline means sacrifice and giving up all the things 36 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: that we enjoy for our one major goal. Again, I 37 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: personally believe that that's incorrect. Sometimes there is a small 38 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: amount of sacrifice that is necessary, but mainly it just 39 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: means change. It just means substitution, swapping out one behavior 40 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: or habit for another one. And instead of viewing that 41 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: as a sacrifice, which I think creates a lot of 42 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: negative attitudes towards self discipline. We should instead be viewing 43 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: it as an investment in yourself that you just weren't 44 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: previously making. And finally, the negative belief that keeps us 45 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: from self discipline is that it's going to be this 46 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: hard forever. It's always going to be a struggle. I 47 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: actually think it's the opposite. Solely relying on on motivation 48 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: and inspiration that is a lot more difficult because you're 49 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: basing your efforts on something that is, let's be honest, 50 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 1: quite fickle and not always a constant. You're forcing yourself 51 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,520 Speaker 1: to do things when you have no incentive in the 52 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: moment to do them. That is what drains our energy. 53 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 1: But self discipline and consistency is our safety net in 54 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:34,079 Speaker 1: those situations. It is the thing that remains constant despite 55 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: our whims, despite our changing energy levels, despite our mood, 56 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: and you know, as time goes on. Discipline really creates 57 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: the habits that make any task a lot easier to do, 58 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: even when we don't want to do it. Here's the thing. 59 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,119 Speaker 1: We mostly need self discipline to do things that honestly, 60 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: we don't really want to do. You know, you don't 61 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: need self discipline to binge. Watch the entire season of 62 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: Mariative First Sight. You know, you don't need self discipline 63 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: to sleep in till eleven am every day. What we 64 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: do need it for is to get us into the 65 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: habits and the routines we know are going to get 66 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: us a better outcome. We know they're going to give 67 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: us a better life than what we currently have, even 68 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,679 Speaker 1: if they are the harder alternative. I think we often 69 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: set out to do something to change our life, to 70 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: change our career, to change our future, with a lot 71 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: of energy, and we have a lot of gusto, and 72 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: we are totally sure of the future that we want, 73 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 1: and we fantasize about the outcome, and we think it's 74 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: going to be super easy, that we'll always have this 75 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: level of motivation. The thing is, though, when we only 76 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: focus on the end goal and how great that's going 77 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: to feel, we often don't think about what it's going 78 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 1: to take to get us there, all the small daily steps. 79 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:53,840 Speaker 1: And self discipline is that bridge between wanting something and 80 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 1: realizing that thing, staying focused even when there are a 81 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 1: million other things that have your tension. And that's often 82 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 1: the case in our twenties. It's also about having the 83 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,280 Speaker 1: foresight to understand that there will be setbacks, but being 84 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: consistent having self control will allow you to overcome them. 85 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: It is one of our most valuable skills. It's very 86 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 1: much like a muscle, and it's one that we strengthen 87 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: over time and with consistency, and that we need to 88 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 1: train to get the most out of. So lucky for you, 89 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,919 Speaker 1: there is so much psychology out there in the world, 90 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: hidden in academic articles, hidden in research, that can really 91 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: enable us to be more committed to our long term 92 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: goals using self discipline. Rather than just encouraging you to 93 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: be disciplined and to be more consistent and to be 94 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,280 Speaker 1: more motivated and to have strong willpower, and just leaving 95 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 1: it at that, I want to actually give you five precise, 96 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: practical steps for building this skill in a manner that 97 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: is actually doable and will inevitably help you realize the 98 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: dream life that I think we all want. So I'm 99 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: going to cut to the chase, because I really don't 100 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: like when I listen to a podcast that's like five 101 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,359 Speaker 1: tips to do this, ten things you need to know 102 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: about X, and they don't give you the list at 103 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 1: the very top and then you kind of end up 104 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: getting a little bit lost in the weeds. But in 105 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,600 Speaker 1: this episode, we're going to talk about these five tips. 106 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: Understanding the psychology behind what motivates you, leveraging our social 107 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: desirability bias, building microhabits, creating invariable reward by manipulating your 108 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 1: own dopamine levels in response to gratification and challenges, Shifting 109 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: from a learned helplessness to a learned industriousness approach. And 110 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: then finally one bonus tip for those of you who 111 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: get to the very end. That is a very high 112 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: level list. There's going to be quite a bit of 113 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: science in this, but it's super digestible, I think, without 114 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 1: further ado, let's get into it and start with point 115 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:58,360 Speaker 1: number one, understanding what motivates you. You cannot force yourself 116 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 1: to do anything if you have no idea why you 117 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: want to do it. Sometimes we set these very obscure 118 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: goals like I want to be healthier, I want to 119 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: be more focused, And the thing is is that, yeah, 120 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: those are amazing goals, right, but they're actually too simple 121 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: to build self discipline around because it doesn't contain any 122 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: of the detail that we need to work with. It 123 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: doesn't get to the why. Why do you want to 124 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 1: be more focused and in what area of your life? 125 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: I see people do this a lot. I do this 126 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: a lot, especially with their fitness goals. You know, they 127 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: just say something like I want to run a ten 128 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: k or I want to get fitter. Those are amazing goals, 129 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: But what's your timeline here? Why do you want to 130 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: do that? What is motivating you towards this outcome? Self 131 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: discipline is created through detail, So how do we get 132 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: to that core ambition that's at the center of any 133 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: of our goals. Well, we need to examine behavioral change 134 00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 1: theory to really understand what motivates us towards something. Now, 135 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: this could be anything, right, It could be a sense 136 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: of accomplishment. Maybe you like the idea of winning, You 137 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 1: like impressing others, you like impressing yourself. Maybe you are 138 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: unhappy with where you are at currently and you want 139 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: to improve your life. Maybe you just want to be happier, 140 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: you just want to be healthier. These are all super valid, 141 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: high level reasons. But when you create a goal, I'm 142 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: going to use that ten k example again and say 143 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: I run a ten k, you need to include two 144 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 1: further details. Firstly, you need to include a timeline and 145 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: you need to include a motivator. So I want to 146 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 1: run a ten k in six months because I want 147 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: to show myself that I can do it. Or I 148 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 1: want to run a ten k in November this year 149 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: because doing so will make me fitter and improve how 150 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: I feel in my body. In those goals, you have 151 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 1: that those two additional pieces of information that make them actionable. 152 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: You have a timeline and you have a motivator, and 153 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 1: those two additional points will allow you to push yourself 154 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: and take action regardless of how you're feeling day to day. 155 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: And that is essentially the very definition of self discipline. 156 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: The reason why those details work is because they create 157 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: what we call smart goals. They are specific, they are measurable. 158 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: You know when you've achieved the goal. It's attainable. It 159 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: serves your overarching mission or ambition, which is maybe to 160 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: get fit, and there's a timeframe. Now, something I want 161 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 1: you to know is that you are a lot less 162 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: likely to be successful in building the necessary self discipline 163 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 1: to achieve a goal if your motivation for the goal 164 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 1: is external rather than internal. For example, if you're trying 165 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,680 Speaker 1: to accomplish something because you think it will make other 166 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 1: people happy, or that you're going to prove them wrong, 167 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: or to avoid some weird threat like a threat of 168 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 1: getting fired, it is going to be a lot less 169 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: effective than wanting to accomplish something for yourself. That is 170 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: because internal self discipline is self directed, self imposed, self managed. 171 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: It is not reliant on the possibility of a loss, 172 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: or the fear of external judgment or punishment or any 173 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 1: of those things. And what they've found time and time 174 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 1: again across multiple studies is that this sense of doing 175 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: something just for you is a lot more powerful and enjoyable. 176 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 1: So if your motivation is centered around the opinions of others, 177 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: trying to impress someone else to fulfill some social norm 178 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: or expectation, I think at this point it's really wise 179 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: to change that to an internal motivator, an internal reason, 180 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 1: or find a new goal, because in three months time, 181 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: when you've stopped thinking about that person and they're no 182 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: longer relevant in your life, you still want to be 183 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: able to stay on track in your journey to accomplishing anything, 184 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: to being disciplined. It's also important to keep coming back 185 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: to that. Why the reason this is effective is because 186 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 1: of what we call expectancy theory in psychology. The basic 187 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 1: premises of this theory is that you are more likely 188 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: to achieve your goals when you remember why you set 189 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: them and why they are important. This is because our 190 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,680 Speaker 1: motivation is based on how much we value a goal 191 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: and how much you believe you have the capacity to 192 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: achieve your goal. When you return regularly to why you're 193 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 1: doing this, the what, the why, the motivation, you highlight 194 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: the value of the goal to yourself, and you reiterate 195 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: that you're capable, that there is a future outcome there 196 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: that you want to be consistent for you can do 197 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: hard things. Some ways to kind of aid in that 198 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: active remembering of your motivator of your why is to 199 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: create a vision board for the outcome. To consume content 200 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 1: on social media, through podcasts and books that align with 201 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:06,079 Speaker 1: your goal, because these things act as cues and remind 202 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 1: us as to what you're working towards, so it's easier 203 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 1: for you to stay disciplined in the pursuit of this 204 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: sometimes far off objective. It's also important, I think, to 205 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: tell people about your goal for that additional accountability. Now, 206 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: this doesn't mean that you're doing it for them or 207 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: that you're reverting to external motivation more so that you're 208 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:34,680 Speaker 1: leveraging what we call social desirability bias in aid of 209 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 1: your goal. This leads me to my next big step 210 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: or tip for building self discipline. Enlist social support or 211 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:50,079 Speaker 1: even accountability. And this is effective because it leverages something 212 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: that we know about ourselves as humans, which is that 213 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: we are very social creatures and we want to make 214 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: others happy. We want to impress them. We don't want 215 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 1: to let them down. When we feel like we will 216 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 1: let someone down if we don't show up to a run, 217 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: or we don't get something done on time, or we 218 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,439 Speaker 1: cancel on them or we break a promise, this encourages 219 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 1: us to be more disciplined and you know, true to 220 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: our word because sometimes you know, it's super easy to 221 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 1: cancel on yourself. It's super easy to just say like, yeah, 222 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that today, because you are 223 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: both the enforcer and the doer. However, when we add 224 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 1: in a little sprinkle of social accountability, the weight of 225 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 1: not doing something we said we were going to do 226 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 1: becomes a lot heavier, meaning that we are more likely 227 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: to do that thing to avoid additional and secondary feelings 228 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 1: of shame or guilt. It's also the case that sometimes 229 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 1: we actually just perform better when other people are watching us. 230 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: This is called the social desirability bias. It's why people 231 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: will more likely to behave in a pro social way 232 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 1: when they know that cameras are on them or help 233 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: someone else out when they can see that other people 234 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:10,520 Speaker 1: are going to observe that. Now, this concept of social 235 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:15,360 Speaker 1: desirability bias. This was initially used to describe how people 236 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: like to overstate their positive traits and understate their negative 237 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: traits in social and clinical research, but we can now 238 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: apply it to this arena of goal setting. We want 239 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: others to think that we are good people. That is 240 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 1: a very basic human desire, and we know that attributes 241 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: like self discipline or hard work, they're very positively viewed. 242 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 1: They make us look like good people. So when we 243 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: have the chance to show that we possess these traits 244 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 1: in front of others, we are much more likely to 245 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 1: do so. How do we apply this knowledge in the 246 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: strengthening of the self discipline muscle. It's actually really really simple. 247 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: You just need to create opportunities for yourself to be 248 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: accountable to others in the pursuit of your goal. So 249 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some examples here. If you 250 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: want to be more focused at work, tell a colleague 251 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 1: your to do list and have them check in with 252 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 1: you at the end of the day and confirm what 253 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 1: you've done. If you want to run a ten k 254 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: oh no, I'm using this example quite a bit, but 255 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: sign up for a run club and make a commitment 256 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: to be there two days a week running with others. 257 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: Even better, sign up as an admin, sign up as 258 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: like an organizer. Then you have to be there. You 259 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: want to be more self disciplined when it comes to 260 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: a creative project or a side hustle, find someone else 261 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: who wants to do the same thing and carve out 262 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: two evenings, maybe even one, where you guys are committed 263 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: to getting on Zoom together or catching up in each 264 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 1: other's houses and just working. It's like having a standing appointment. 265 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: It increases your level of commitment and discipline to do 266 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 1: hard things by doing them alongside other people, build like 267 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: a solid work routine, a solid lifestyle routine around other 268 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,239 Speaker 1: people as well as yourself. It also just makes it 269 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 1: a lot more enjoyable. You know, I have an example 270 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 1: of how this is working for me. At the moment, 271 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 1: I'm trying to really prioritize my physical fitness. I went 272 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: traveling for two months, and I noticed that I lost 273 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: a bit of steam. I wasn't as fit as before, 274 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 1: and so I set myself a news resolution to exercise 275 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 1: four times a week. You know what, It would have 276 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: been really easy for me to have just made that 277 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: promise to myself, not told anyone, and quit after a 278 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: few weeks. But I leveraged social desirability and social accountability. 279 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: I told as many friends as I could about it. 280 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: I created ways to get other people involved to keep 281 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: me accountable. So every Sunday, I know that I go 282 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: for a rum with my friend k and I don't 283 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,359 Speaker 1: want to let her down by not showing up. On Tuesdays, 284 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: I go boxing with my friend Emily, I want to 285 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: show up. I want to keep the promise, not to 286 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 1: myself and my larger goal, but the promise to them 287 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: to do these weekly steps and activities that allow us 288 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 1: to also connect. Moving on to our third tip, let's 289 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:16,199 Speaker 1: talk about microhabits. Now. I'm gonna keep this one rather brief, 290 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,360 Speaker 1: because if you're interested in this topic, we actually did 291 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 1: a whole episode on this. It's episode fifty three, The 292 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: Power of microhabits. If you want to go and listen 293 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: to that, and I don't want to just be repeating myself, 294 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 1: but it is honestly such a life changing, amazing strategy. 295 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 1: So microhabits, if you haven't yet heard of this term, 296 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,920 Speaker 1: they are these small everyday actions or tiny itty bitty 297 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: routines that turn into automatic behaviors through repetition. The best 298 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:52,120 Speaker 1: thing about microhabits is that they're meant to be eagersy, 299 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: but as you build them up, they create self discipline. 300 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 1: Some examples of this are going outside at least once 301 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: a day, reading one page of a book before bed, 302 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: eating one server of vegetables with every meal, walking to 303 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: work instead of driving. Those things all seem super doable, right, 304 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 1: And that's the point. It's because they're meant to be. 305 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 1: They counteract that all or nothing thinking that gets a 306 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: lot of us stuck when we're starting out, you know, 307 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 1: we immediately think that big is best when it comes 308 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,919 Speaker 1: to getting started. We want to eat healthier, so we 309 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: throw out everything processed in our kitchen replace it with 310 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 1: foods that we just actually don't eat, that we're not 311 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: used to, and we're not giving ourselves time to adapt 312 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,120 Speaker 1: to a new routine and lifestyle, meaning that we're more 313 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,919 Speaker 1: likely to fail because we haven't adjusted. And it's not 314 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 1: sustainable when we don't have those habits down pat yet. 315 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,680 Speaker 1: We're just changing too much too soon. And some people 316 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 1: can do that, some people can go cold turkey or 317 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 1: all or nothing. But I actually think that it takes 318 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 1: a lot more effort. It puts a lot more strain 319 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 1: on your cognitive and physical resources when you apply micro 320 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: habits instead, you break down your big goal into super 321 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 1: manageable tasks that actually stop you from getting stuck in 322 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: the procrastination trap of not knowing where to start. It 323 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 1: stops you from feeling overwhelmed, and it helps you build 324 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 1: momentum so that it doesn't It's not that age old 325 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 1: story where you set some goal, you achieve it, and 326 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: then you go straight back to how you were six 327 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,119 Speaker 1: months before. It actually creates like a lifestyle change that 328 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,480 Speaker 1: is going to stay with you for a lot longer. Now, 329 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,680 Speaker 1: I want you to pause for a second and think 330 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 1: back to that goal that you are setting. What are 331 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:50,119 Speaker 1: three small microhabits you could do throughout your week that 332 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: would aid in achieving that goal? Make them super specific, 333 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,159 Speaker 1: but also make them easy. Now, what reasons do you 334 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 1: have to not do those things, even that they require 335 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 1: so little effort and investment. When you start with those 336 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 1: small microhabits, you train yourself to be more disciplined. Okay, 337 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,960 Speaker 1: we're going to take a small, short, little break for 338 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: a second, but when we return, we're going to talk 339 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 1: about those final two tips I have for you, and 340 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,160 Speaker 1: of course our bonus tip. We're going to be right 341 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:29,919 Speaker 1: back after this break, So I'm going to teach you 342 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 1: how to hack your brain and your motivational systems using 343 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 1: some of the most basic principles of neuroscience that create 344 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 1: some of the most non basic behavioral changes and habits 345 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: that I know for building your self discipline. This is 346 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 1: the thing about this science. It is so simple, but 347 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 1: it is so effective. So when it comes to building 348 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,640 Speaker 1: self discipline, the neurotransmitter we need to be most conscious 349 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: of is dopamine. Dopamine is often thought of as our 350 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: happy chemical, right. It's the thing that you get when 351 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 1: you have a tasty meal, when you drink caffeine, when 352 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,400 Speaker 1: you experience something pleasurable. But it's also so much more 353 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 1: than that. It's not just about pleasure and hedonism and enjoyment. 354 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,360 Speaker 1: It is also the neurotransmitter that is most crucial when 355 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:21,719 Speaker 1: it comes to motivational control because of the role that 356 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 1: it plays in reward guided learning and self discipline. When 357 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,119 Speaker 1: we do a task that we like, we get a 358 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 1: spike of dopamine. When we achieve a goal, again, we 359 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,880 Speaker 1: get dopamine that is going to drive us to keep 360 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 1: working towards our larger ambition, to keep performing those daily 361 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: and weekly actions that are necessary for cultivating success, progress 362 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:49,040 Speaker 1: and self discipline, and we can exploit the science behind 363 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 1: that to keep us consistent. So the biggest thing that 364 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:58,439 Speaker 1: stops us from having self control or being disciplined is 365 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:04,200 Speaker 1: buying into a mediate temptation and our whims. Of course, 366 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: it is going to feel so much better in the 367 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 1: moment to stay in bed and relax when you should 368 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,159 Speaker 1: really be doing your big to do list. Of course, 369 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:17,720 Speaker 1: it's going to feel momentarily better to procrastinate studying in 370 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:23,400 Speaker 1: favor of scrolling through social media, because those alternative activities 371 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 1: give us pleasure. However, what we're encountering in those moments 372 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 1: is what we call instant gratification, and that instant gratification 373 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 1: is actually just a quick dopamine shot that over time 374 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: lowers our dopamine baseline and it creates what we know 375 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 1: is the down regulation of pleasure. So this occurs when 376 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 1: the number of receptors in our brain for a neurotransmitter, 377 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,840 Speaker 1: in this case, dopamine, are decreased because of an increase 378 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 1: in that neurotransmitter is levels, meaning that we need less 379 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 1: points of impact, less points of connection to actually have 380 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 1: access to that same amount of pleasure because we have 381 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 1: so much of this chemical flooding our brain. So this 382 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:11,400 Speaker 1: is the downside of buying into instant gratification. Pleasure actually 383 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,719 Speaker 1: becomes less pleasant because there is so much of it, 384 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 1: but it's not at the same quality as the pleasure 385 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 1: and the satisfaction we would get from a long term goal. 386 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: But because we have fewer receptors, it also means that 387 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 1: that dopamine becomes less powerful in keeping us focused and 388 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: staying on track. So the alternative to this is to 389 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: hold off on instant gratification for a long term reward 390 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 1: that comes from self discipline. Obviously, this involves scheduling when 391 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 1: you're going to give yourself those small spikes, for example, 392 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,399 Speaker 1: only letting yourself sleep in once a week rather than 393 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: every day so that it becomes more special, or giving 394 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: yourself a break to scroll on your phone whilst you're 395 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:01,199 Speaker 1: studying once every two hours rather than once every thirty minutes. 396 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:07,440 Speaker 1: Because this increases our dopamine baseline, you are delaying gratification 397 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 1: for a better feeling later on. So by managing your 398 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 1: dopamine in this way, you experience more fulfillment because you're 399 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: not desensitizing yourself to all this pleasure. Another way to 400 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: utilize our dopamine systems to become more self disciplined is 401 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 1: to create a rewards schedule for yourself when it comes 402 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: to your long term goals. If you set out to 403 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,439 Speaker 1: get straight a's or hds in every course that you're 404 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 1: taking this semester, it is going to take a while 405 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 1: before you get to experience the rewards for your efforts. Instead, 406 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 1: what you need to do is create a schedule of 407 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:47,640 Speaker 1: positive reinforcement for yourself that is aligned directly to your 408 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 1: efforts and the small achievements that you're going to come 409 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: across in pursuit of your goal. So I'm going to 410 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,239 Speaker 1: keep using this academic example because I think it is 411 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,479 Speaker 1: such a great way of demonstrating this. If your end 412 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: goal is to get a four point zero by the 413 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 1: end of the semester. Break this into smaller goals. To 414 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 1: get that HD, you also need to get an A 415 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,400 Speaker 1: in your midsem and you also need to get an 416 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: A on your essay. Don't let those small accomplishments go 417 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 1: unnoticed or unrewarded. Give yourself a little treat, let yourself 418 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 1: have some dopamine in response, take yourself out for dinner, 419 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,440 Speaker 1: buy yourself something really nice, give yourself the day off. 420 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:33,680 Speaker 1: Managing our dopamine systems doesn't mean completely denying yourselves any 421 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,200 Speaker 1: dopamine that isn't associated with our long term goal, right. 422 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 1: It's about just making yourself or achieving a greater balance 423 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: so that when you want to use your dopamine. I 424 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: know that sounds quite strange, but like when you, yeah, 425 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 1: when you want to use your dopamine for the reasons 426 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 1: that important to you, you actually have access to it, 427 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 1: rather than feeling like there's this whole chemical process going 428 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,280 Speaker 1: on in your brain that means that you can't actually 429 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: set goals and meet them. So this thing that we're 430 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 1: talking about, this rewards schedule, there are a few caveats. 431 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,399 Speaker 1: The important thing is that we want to use a 432 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:14,199 Speaker 1: continuous reinforcement schedule, whereby every time we perform the target 433 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 1: behavior or achieve the target outcome, in this instance, achieving 434 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 1: a grade that contributes to a good overall GPA, you 435 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: need to be rewarded for that, so it therefore encourages 436 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,919 Speaker 1: us to keep doing those things. The thing is, you 437 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: might experience some boredom and displeasure during the transition, but 438 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 1: soon your quality of life actually increases, and it's shown 439 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 1: that we do have stronger self control, We are happier, 440 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 1: we do experience fewer negative emotions, and you actually appreciate 441 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 1: pleasure even more. I think doing hard things being self 442 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: disciplined is a shift from instant gratification. But you'll find 443 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: that when you delay reward, your satisfaction actually increases. You're 444 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,359 Speaker 1: going to show it more. You feel good about yourself, 445 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 1: rather than in those moments where you just live your 446 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 1: life based on short term pleasure and hedonism and giving 447 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 1: yourself anything that you want. You know, if you were 448 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 1: you know, I always think about this in the sense 449 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 1: of like being the parent to your inner child. You 450 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,439 Speaker 1: wouldn't let yourself like run around and eat sugar whenever 451 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,120 Speaker 1: you wanted it. You wouldn't let yourself stay up till 452 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:26,919 Speaker 1: four am if you were like a twelve if you 453 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 1: were like a six year old child. So why are 454 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 1: you letting your adult self do things that you know 455 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,440 Speaker 1: are self sabotaging your efforts for a bigger goal. That 456 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 1: is the main premise of using this reward scheduling. You 457 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 1: want to be in control of how you behave and 458 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,399 Speaker 1: when you want to stay motivated, when you want to 459 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: be focused, You want to make sure that you have 460 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 1: the resources and the passion and the energy available to 461 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:55,199 Speaker 1: you to do that. Our fifth tip for today is 462 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: possibly my favorite. That's why I saved it for last, obviously, 463 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: because I really never hear people talking about this, and 464 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 1: it's one of the most fascinating areas of motivational and 465 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 1: learning psychology. It is the principle of learned helplessness versus 466 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:14,960 Speaker 1: learned industriousness, and how shifting from one to the other 467 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,119 Speaker 1: can actually get us to enjoy doing difficult things, Which 468 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,479 Speaker 1: sounds great, right. Wouldn't it be great if you enjoyed 469 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: the hard things on your to do list? Let me 470 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 1: explain this a little bit further. So, learned helplessness occurs 471 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 1: when we feel like no matter what we do, we 472 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,919 Speaker 1: cannot escape bad outcomes or failures, and so we just 473 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 1: give up. Researchers, when they first discovered this, began to 474 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 1: observe it in animals, whereby they would keep them restrained 475 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 1: and then expose them to some really negative aversive condition 476 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,959 Speaker 1: like pain or an unpleasant noise. These animals couldn't escape, 477 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,239 Speaker 1: as sad as you know, it's pretty sad what they 478 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,840 Speaker 1: used to do back then. But what it showed was 479 00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 1: that even when they let the animals out, even though 480 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 1: when they removed the leash or the collar, they still 481 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: kept enduring the painful situation, even though now they could 482 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 1: get away from it. They had learned that they were 483 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:18,080 Speaker 1: helpless in changing their situation. And although a lot of 484 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 1: this initial research was conducted on animals, we can see 485 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: that in human behavior as well. No matter what you do, 486 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,600 Speaker 1: maybe you found that you just can't stick to a diet, 487 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: you can't stay focused on your work, you can't get 488 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,200 Speaker 1: the outcome you want, the growth you want, the numbers 489 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 1: you want because you're not seeing that correlation between action 490 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 1: and reward. You lose faith in your self discipline in 491 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 1: your actions, and you quit. So what is the alternative? 492 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: In those situations. Well, it's about shifting from a learned 493 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 1: helplessness mindset to a learned industriousness mindset. The difference here 494 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: is that learned industriousness focuses on the pleasure in the 495 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: action itself. We aren't just reliant on what we gain 496 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,400 Speaker 1: from the outcome, but just like the genuine sensation and 497 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:10,160 Speaker 1: good feelings that just come with working hard. I think 498 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 1: this is so so important to have an equal investment 499 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,400 Speaker 1: in your goal but also feel like you're getting something 500 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 1: out of the journey, that it's not just a slug, 501 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,480 Speaker 1: that there's nothing enjoyable about it. And I also think 502 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: that you can feel excited by how much you can 503 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 1: push yourself. You can romanticize the difficult times, the long nights, 504 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 1: the exhausting runs, the hours of studying, instead of just 505 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: romanticizing this future outcome that you're hoping for. And it 506 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: has a lot of benefits for self discipline. Individuals who 507 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 1: have high levels of industriousness they have a lot of 508 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:51,480 Speaker 1: history of applying greater efforts towards tasks. It's been demonstrated 509 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 1: that they have more task persistence. They're less likely to 510 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 1: quit when things get difficult because that difficulty is actually, 511 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 1: I don't want to say enjoyable, but it's fulfilling. So 512 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,680 Speaker 1: how can we train ourselves to do this? How do 513 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 1: we make that shift? What we need to do is 514 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: begin to reward our actions, not just our outcomes, through 515 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 1: pared reinforcement. So the gummy bear method is an excellent 516 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: example of this. If you have twenty pages you need 517 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,200 Speaker 1: to read for a class, after every page, you give 518 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,560 Speaker 1: yourself a gummy bear or something that you like, making 519 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: it so that you begin to associate hard work with 520 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 1: something pleasant. We can also do this by romanticizing our labor. 521 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: Instead of thinking, oh my god, I'm so exhausted, I 522 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,160 Speaker 1: don't want to work this hard, it would be so 523 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 1: much easier to quit. Switch that attitude by deliberately creating 524 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,960 Speaker 1: thoughts like it's actually really exciting to see how far 525 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 1: I can go. I think I'm going to look back 526 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 1: on these moments with a lot of fondness and pride. 527 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,720 Speaker 1: I'm so proud of myself for how I keep going. 528 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 1: It is thrilling and stimulating to be doing these things 529 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 1: that are difficult to push myself. We are reinforcing the 530 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 1: feeling of high effort. As we get better at this, 531 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,760 Speaker 1: the self discipline that is contained in that becomes a 532 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 1: valued part of our identity, whereby we begin to see 533 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,720 Speaker 1: ourselves as a hard worker, as someone with self control, 534 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,520 Speaker 1: as someone who is tenacious and passionate and kind of 535 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 1: willing to do things that others can't. And in this way, 536 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:27,480 Speaker 1: you've shifted your goal from not just being internally motivated, 537 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 1: but something that informs who you are and who you 538 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:35,040 Speaker 1: want to become, which is even more encouraging. Now, I 539 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 1: want to give you one final piece of advice when 540 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,640 Speaker 1: it comes to self discipline to finish off, and it 541 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:44,920 Speaker 1: may seem very contrary to the other things that we've 542 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:49,440 Speaker 1: talked about, but I think it's equally important. You need 543 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 1: to let yourself fail, sometimes make mistakes, have slip ups, 544 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 1: and still show yourself as much self compassion and love 545 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,920 Speaker 1: as you would if you were perfect at all times. 546 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 1: You just can't hate yourself into self discipline. I'm going 547 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: to say that again. You can't hate yourself into self 548 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 1: discipline because self discipline comes from a place of care 549 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 1: and investment in yourself. Time and time again, we see 550 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 1: research that shows that when you use shame as a motivator, 551 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 1: self blame, self hatred as a motivator. All that discipline 552 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 1: becomes so much harder to keep up because you're doing 553 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 1: it from a place of loathing and negativity. You can 554 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: make mistakes. In fact, I think that it's really useful 555 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,560 Speaker 1: to reflect and grow. You can start something new and 556 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 1: just not be the best at it. Not every day 557 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:48,760 Speaker 1: needs to be insanely productive. That's actually not sustainable. But 558 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: what you do need to do is just show up, 559 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: Just be consistent. Even if you're not being perfect, Even 560 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,080 Speaker 1: if you're only at the gym for ten minutes, you 561 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 1: still wet, and you still are repeating a patterner behaviors 562 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,600 Speaker 1: that are going to become routine. You know, I think 563 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 1: that if you're still listening right now, if you've made 564 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,759 Speaker 1: it this far, you're obviously super committed to yourself. You're 565 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:14,280 Speaker 1: obviously super committed to your goals. You're already miles ahead 566 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:18,279 Speaker 1: of everyone else who has already convinced themselves that even 567 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,799 Speaker 1: the first step in self discipline is too hard. And 568 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,120 Speaker 1: now I guess you also have the tools that you need. 569 00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,560 Speaker 1: You know what needs to be done, and to be 570 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,919 Speaker 1: completely honest, I'm just super proud of you for even 571 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,879 Speaker 1: caring enough about yourself and your future to be considering 572 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,840 Speaker 1: this change in your life, whatever that may be. I 573 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 1: think that self discipline is the secret ingredient. It is 574 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,800 Speaker 1: the master key to everything that you want in life. 575 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:49,120 Speaker 1: So I really hope that you have enjoyed this episode. 576 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,400 Speaker 1: I hope that you can apply this to your life, 577 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: that you have learned something. If there's someone else in 578 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,000 Speaker 1: your life who you think might enjoy this, who you 579 00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,440 Speaker 1: think might take something from this content, from this science 580 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 1: that we've shared, please feel free to forward it onto them. 581 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 1: Make sure that you are following and leave a five 582 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,120 Speaker 1: star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are listening 583 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:13,640 Speaker 1: to this right now. Of course, if there's an episode 584 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,280 Speaker 1: suggestion I say this at the end of every episode, 585 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,120 Speaker 1: please send it to me. You never know, I never 586 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,839 Speaker 1: know who else might relate to some of the things 587 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:23,399 Speaker 1: that are on your mind. And I take a lot 588 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,200 Speaker 1: of inspiration from what you guys are going through this 589 00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,640 Speaker 1: episode in itself. You guys voted on this one, So 590 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:33,080 Speaker 1: if there's anything that is in your thoughts that you 591 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,640 Speaker 1: feel other people could benefit from, please send it my 592 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:40,560 Speaker 1: way at that Psychology podcast or at GEMMASPEG. We will 593 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:44,400 Speaker 1: be back next week with a special guest episode. On Tuesday, 594 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:45,879 Speaker 1: so see then