1
00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359
Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

2
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:12,600
Speaker 1: High Friend, High Friend. We have a friend who's not

3
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,600
Speaker 1: here because she's in Alaska. I'm really proud of her. Yeah,

4
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,040
Speaker 1: it seems like I haven't contacted I wished her. Well,

5
00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,000
Speaker 1: did you say anything? Have you talked to her? Have

6
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,960
Speaker 1: texted with her? And you know, replied to her. The

7
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,760
Speaker 1: the excursions she's doing, it looks like she's having a

8
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,360
Speaker 1: lot of fun. She did say something about how she

9
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,480
Speaker 1: wishes like it's better if maybe not on a boat

10
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,640
Speaker 1: doing it. Okay, So I don't know if they're not

11
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,400
Speaker 1: like seeing as much stuff. I'm not really sure, but

12
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:43,240
Speaker 1: we'll get the we'll get the details. I did write

13
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,280
Speaker 1: to her before she left, and I said, I'm really

14
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,120
Speaker 1: proud of you. This is going to be great and

15
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,120
Speaker 1: have sex. I want her to have the time of

16
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,120
Speaker 1: her life. And she crawled inside her skin. She did

17
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:57,360
Speaker 1: inside a boat all as well. What's going on? Friend?

18
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,160
Speaker 1: Anything you want chat about? I just don't know how much.

19
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,120
Speaker 1: Just one want to unpin on wine down is the

20
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,000
Speaker 1: big rhetorical Well, it causes no problems when you do,

21
00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:10,800
Speaker 1: only when you do or okay, no, I just have

22
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:15,200
Speaker 1: a lot I think, I don't even know where this goes,

23
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,959
Speaker 1: so let me just throw it at you and you

24
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,480
Speaker 1: can organize my life for me. That would feel really great, actually,

25
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,200
Speaker 1: And these times I forget we're recordings. I'm trying to

26
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,479
Speaker 1: be careful, but we've got a little drama on. I've

27
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,319
Speaker 1: got a little drama on the school side of life.

28
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,400
Speaker 1: For us, we only go to a two two day

29
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:35,920
Speaker 1: a week tutorial, and then through that tutorial we also

30
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,440
Speaker 1: do like cheerleading, so there's like it's all kind of

31
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,480
Speaker 1: getting messy and noisy. I don't know if I've told

32
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,240
Speaker 1: you this and all of our ketchups, but I'm the

33
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,160
Speaker 1: president of the cheer Booster Club and so my new

34
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,520
Speaker 1: title is very involved, I guess. And I took that

35
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,320
Speaker 1: not thinking it would be I took it knowing that

36
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,800
Speaker 1: I would be in charge of communication between all entities,

37
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,040
Speaker 1: and I felt like I could do that well, and

38
00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,720
Speaker 1: no one else volunteered, so I ran on a post

39
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,200
Speaker 1: and now I'm just really in the thick of a lot.

40
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,960
Speaker 1: And I think it's that constant kind of like I

41
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,720
Speaker 1: think it's a time dilemma, but specifically in mom life,

42
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,080
Speaker 1: where anything we say yes too, we're saying no to

43
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,520
Speaker 1: something else. Yeah, So when I get to my phone

44
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,960
Speaker 1: and I have several voice memos five minutes long, and

45
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, when is there going to be a good

46
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,160
Speaker 1: time for me to dive into that and to use

47
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:26,519
Speaker 1: my energy. So I feel a little tired. I'll try

48
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,400
Speaker 1: to detach so I don't get emotional. But this time

49
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,360
Speaker 1: of the summer is just hard. So this past weekend

50
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,920
Speaker 1: would be four years to the day that my dad

51
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,359
Speaker 1: passed away, and so July used to be my favorite,

52
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,440
Speaker 1: and it's just kind of sneakily gotten, like a little

53
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:45,240
Speaker 1: calendar landmine. There's just a couple things in July that

54
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,440
Speaker 1: feel kind of like ugh, you know, like you have

55
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:51,080
Speaker 1: to face them, so I feel and then always in July,

56
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,040
Speaker 1: Preston is gone, like the most he could be gone.

57
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:58,440
Speaker 1: So it's just a slow pile up in my little world.

58
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,720
Speaker 1: I think it's hard because there's there's so many things,

59
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,040
Speaker 1: Like you said, when when it revolves around to death

60
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:09,320
Speaker 1: or other pieces that are hard, you then go, Okay,

61
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,080
Speaker 1: that's July, like that used to be, yeah, and I

62
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,640
Speaker 1: don't want it to be. I'm fighting to keep it, yeah,

63
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,639
Speaker 1: because I actually still really love it. Sure, and there's

64
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:21,440
Speaker 1: so many good things happening. Yeah, but it's a weird

65
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,280
Speaker 1: and I don't have like a tradition about like losing

66
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:26,640
Speaker 1: my dad, but like it is wild because you go

67
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,800
Speaker 1: back to the day you got the phone call, you know,

68
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:34,639
Speaker 1: like it, and just life from then on. But I

69
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:38,080
Speaker 1: think four years ago Christen is different from four years now.

70
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:42,360
Speaker 1: So how you may be handled that grief, then maybe

71
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,760
Speaker 1: you need to maybe you skipped a few steps. Yeah,

72
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,680
Speaker 1: I just I feel like maybe not, maybe not. Maybe

73
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,600
Speaker 1: you have to sometimes like retroactively go back. Keep it's

74
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,920
Speaker 1: something like with this is wildly different. But like my

75
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,840
Speaker 1: domestic abuse pass, I've talked in circles around that, but

76
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,880
Speaker 1: only where I wanted to, I think, talk about it.

77
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,320
Speaker 1: I kept it kind of in a little bit of

78
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,680
Speaker 1: a box. And then when I started doing therapy with Amy,

79
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,680
Speaker 1: she's like, I think we should revisit this piece, and like,

80
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,480
Speaker 1: I've talked about it so much, But I realized I

81
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,920
Speaker 1: was closing off certain pieces of it because I didn't

82
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,440
Speaker 1: want to reopen it because it was too hard for

83
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,120
Speaker 1: me to talk about, too hard for me to feel

84
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:23,400
Speaker 1: again experience. But it was until I walked through the

85
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:27,400
Speaker 1: pieces of that trauma that then got me to feeling

86
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,479
Speaker 1: lighter on the other side of it, not saying you

87
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,280
Speaker 1: didn't do that, yeah, no, no no, but sometimes in

88
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,599
Speaker 1: that grief, in that trauma, you kind of box up

89
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,800
Speaker 1: and go, oh no, no, fine, I'm fine, and I will, yeah,

90
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,400
Speaker 1: like dealt with that time and then you move on. Yeah,

91
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,279
Speaker 1: it's more I think too, like and I think all

92
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,040
Speaker 1: grief is grief, So I think that that does apply.

93
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:49,440
Speaker 1: Like that situation. It's grieving the loss of anyone, whether

94
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,080
Speaker 1: they're alive or I think when they're alive, it's maybe

95
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,840
Speaker 1: sometimes harder in my experience, And so I think that's

96
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,960
Speaker 1: also tricky because now we have this new mom relationship.

97
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,760
Speaker 1: So it's just like a lot of things and I

98
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,960
Speaker 1: feel like a lot being asked of me and very

99
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,880
Speaker 1: seldom and I'm just saying this as nicely as I can.

100
00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:10,279
Speaker 1: There's not like a whole lot of checking in on me.

101
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,320
Speaker 1: I have to do that for myself. Yeah, And how

102
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,159
Speaker 1: often am I doing that? Well? Not enough, because we

103
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,320
Speaker 1: have our babies that we put in the forefront. Yeah,

104
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,839
Speaker 1: you know, but I will say that, you know, the

105
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,039
Speaker 1: grieving people that are still alive, that is a very

106
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,200
Speaker 1: hard one. I mean, I remember that even just with

107
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:32,039
Speaker 1: my divorce, because you still have to see the person

108
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,239
Speaker 1: and it's grieving the loss of something and the idea

109
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,280
Speaker 1: and then it's a different person in front of you.

110
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,479
Speaker 1: It's I mean, it's just it's it's traumatic. It's a

111
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,240
Speaker 1: lot of healing and it takes years. Yeah, and then

112
00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,400
Speaker 1: it's almost like the further you get down the road,

113
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,280
Speaker 1: there's another piece to unlock that you haven't even thought

114
00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:52,640
Speaker 1: about yet, and because you shoved it way down and yeah,

115
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,080
Speaker 1: that's why. That's why it bothers me when people are like,

116
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,120
Speaker 1: how are you not healed yet? It's like healing is

117
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:02,039
Speaker 1: not just linear. It's not like it's it's up and down.

118
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,680
Speaker 1: And then you forgre like, oh god, I totally forgot

119
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,000
Speaker 1: about that, but now I remember this, and this triggers

120
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,760
Speaker 1: that or and it's in weird things you'll t pieces yeah,

121
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,280
Speaker 1: Like I can be loading a dishwasher and something will

122
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,960
Speaker 1: hit me and then I have to like quickly. It's

123
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,560
Speaker 1: almost like how fast can you do paperwork? In my brain,

124
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, how can I shuffle through this because

125
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,520
Speaker 1: in about forty five seconds I have to be back

126
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,000
Speaker 1: to like making quinoa or something. Well, I think the

127
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:32,040
Speaker 1: response to those triggers and traumas you're the healing helps

128
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,000
Speaker 1: you recover faster. Yes, in most cases, let's pray, yeah,

129
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,760
Speaker 1: and not compartmentalize. But I don't know. I think there

130
00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,960
Speaker 1: might be something to go back to with when it

131
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,839
Speaker 1: comes to because you don't want July to always be

132
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:50,640
Speaker 1: that doomsday coming up, right, So maybe there is something

133
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,680
Speaker 1: with I don't know. Do you think there's pieces of

134
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:57,960
Speaker 1: your dad's death that you have to go backwards in? Yeah?

135
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,680
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to get really candid. It's probably

136
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,159
Speaker 1: the most I've said about family dynamics on here, But like,

137
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:10,440
Speaker 1: I think the hardest part for me is I deal

138
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,720
Speaker 1: with I try to deal and I think that there's

139
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,680
Speaker 1: just so much avoidance in my family still that it's

140
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,559
Speaker 1: almost like we have two separate families now, because one

141
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:27,760
Speaker 1: is one is really living inside of an old narrative

142
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:35,160
Speaker 1: and I am living inside of a reality narrative. And

143
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,880
Speaker 1: I know everyone has their own realities and very respectful

144
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:42,440
Speaker 1: of that, but I can't pretend, and so I get

145
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,920
Speaker 1: kind of stuck, and it's it is difficult because I

146
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,240
Speaker 1: don't like my husband both has both of his parents

147
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,000
Speaker 1: and Pressen's fifty and he gets to have both of

148
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,960
Speaker 1: his parents, so I don't know, like there's things coming up.

149
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just it all gets a little messy.

150
00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,320
Speaker 1: And then it gets what Amy is refric too, is

151
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,680
Speaker 1: like I get a little grid locked because it's like

152
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,120
Speaker 1: I'd love to fix something, but almost to fix something

153
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,000
Speaker 1: you have to fix something else, or in order to

154
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,560
Speaker 1: heal this, you'd have to go heal that. It's just

155
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,760
Speaker 1: like I get okay, and then by then that time,

156
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,680
Speaker 1: my forty five seconds of alone time is over and

157
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,640
Speaker 1: I'm back to the dishwasher. Yeah you know, I'm grieving

158
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:20,560
Speaker 1: in pockets. I'm sorry, friend. Yeah, it's okay. It's a lot.

159
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:26,160
Speaker 1: It's weird. We're going to celebrate neutilized though. Yes, I

160
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,040
Speaker 1: love you. With Amy, it's going be fun. A couple's

161
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:44,720
Speaker 1: intensive view and me, I have something that's it Is

162
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:49,560
Speaker 1: it lighter? Jesus name? Do you want as I'm like over,

163
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,839
Speaker 1: you're just like under the pressure of the world. No,

164
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:57,720
Speaker 1: But I think it's relatable for people because we always

165
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,880
Speaker 1: want to be at the night level, right, We're always

166
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,600
Speaker 1: striving for something. I was watching actually that Quarterback show.

167
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:09,160
Speaker 1: It's like you there's no perfection, but you're striving to

168
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 1: get to the top, right, And you know, in March,

169
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,760
Speaker 1: I got a call on a vacation and I booked

170
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,400
Speaker 1: a movie and it was great. I was so excited

171
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:26,720
Speaker 1: this past vacation with Alan and our anniversary. I tested

172
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,880
Speaker 1: got really close on a show. It was one of

173
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,079
Speaker 1: those shows that were just like for example, and I

174
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,600
Speaker 1: think it's all kind of like hitting me at once.

175
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,960
Speaker 1: So I tested for The Hunting Wives and got pinned

176
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,920
Speaker 1: for it. It was a Showtime show. But now it's

177
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,640
Speaker 1: on Netflix, so I'm now I'm seeing that, Okay, the

178
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,760
Speaker 1: trailer and the previews everywhere, and it's like that show.

179
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:49,640
Speaker 1: It's really hard, like in this industry to test. It's

180
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,960
Speaker 1: so hard to get to that place. Even you know auditions,

181
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,920
Speaker 1: It's like there's so many people that audition, so I

182
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,720
Speaker 1: mean so many things to get to a place where

183
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,959
Speaker 1: you test and get pinned. Like this is like they

184
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,120
Speaker 1: I want you. You're like on deck. If you're pinned, right,

185
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,719
Speaker 1: you pinned is like you're available. They're pinning you. They

186
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,600
Speaker 1: want you. You're saving those dates, like you are this

187
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,280
Speaker 1: close to tasting it. Okay, last time I thought that

188
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,000
Speaker 1: was with Mayans and Kurtzutter and I mean devastated when

189
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,200
Speaker 1: I didn't get it, and then hunting wives, I mean

190
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,880
Speaker 1: I was I cried for like three days, was so upset.

191
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,520
Speaker 1: But again, so I'm like seeing and I'm obviously so

192
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,480
Speaker 1: happy for and I understand that everything always happens like

193
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,920
Speaker 1: for a reason. I get that, and my mom starts

194
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,559
Speaker 1: to wear us out too a little. That's the thing.

195
00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:35,360
Speaker 1: It's like that this is so silly that storyline is.

196
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,240
Speaker 1: I think what wears me down is like, yes, this

197
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,600
Speaker 1: is so stupid to be trying about it. And it's

198
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,240
Speaker 1: realized because I am. I am incredibly blessed for everything

199
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,280
Speaker 1: I am a working actress I have done for like

200
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm on my fourth movie this year. I'm so excited

201
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,840
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful. It's just the narrative that is,

202
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,640
Speaker 1: like I have been trying so hard to get back

203
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,320
Speaker 1: on a show once I've went full force back into acting,

204
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,880
Speaker 1: Like I left One Tree Hill to do music, and

205
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,959
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that I pursued that for as many

206
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,880
Speaker 1: years as I did. But to get back on a

207
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,679
Speaker 1: show is so much harder than people think, and like

208
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,120
Speaker 1: I've gotten so close so many times. But it's like

209
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,280
Speaker 1: that so I had a really good feeling about this

210
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,080
Speaker 1: last one, and it's a I don't want to say

211
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,760
Speaker 1: what it is yet, but it is a show we've

212
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,200
Speaker 1: actually talked about the creator on the show before. It

213
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,000
Speaker 1: would have been a huge spin off show for me

214
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,800
Speaker 1: to get. I was in the mix, you know, the

215
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:29,079
Speaker 1: whole thing, and I was I'm on a horse, which

216
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,440
Speaker 1: is ironic for the show that it is. And I

217
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,160
Speaker 1: got the text from my manager being like, hey, their

218
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,240
Speaker 1: offer is out to this person. If they don't accept,

219
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,240
Speaker 1: like like you're next. But I'm like, so for people

220
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,560
Speaker 1: it's going to accept. So for people that aren't in

221
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,200
Speaker 1: this world, is it often that someone wouldn't accept this person?

222
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,320
Speaker 1: I know their show just got canceled, and like they're

223
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,040
Speaker 1: perfect for the role. And I've been up against her

224
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,280
Speaker 1: a few times for things, so I was like, of

225
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,560
Speaker 1: course it is, and like I'm happy for it, like

226
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,840
Speaker 1: you know, it's a great role. Like I'm like, this

227
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,040
Speaker 1: is awesome for her. But it was one of those

228
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,960
Speaker 1: moments where I was like when will it be? Like

229
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,440
Speaker 1: I've worked so hard, Like when will it be? Like

230
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,520
Speaker 1: my because I'm like I want this. I want to

231
00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:10,960
Speaker 1: be back on a show again, Like that is like

232
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,720
Speaker 1: my dream and like I know it's gonna happen, and

233
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,240
Speaker 1: I'm so sick of saying that thing. And everyone's like

234
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,040
Speaker 1: and my manager's like, it's you're You're right there, like

235
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,400
Speaker 1: you're gonna get it. And I was like, and I've

236
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,400
Speaker 1: been saying this for twenty years, like fifteen years since

237
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,640
Speaker 1: I've been off One Tree Hill, so I think this

238
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,400
Speaker 1: is actually this is But I know people deal with

239
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,720
Speaker 1: this no, no, like with they of course they do,

240
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,480
Speaker 1: but also like it's okay for us just not be

241
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,360
Speaker 1: okay sometimes, and I think that's like maybe where I'm

242
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,960
Speaker 1: at too crazy different situations, I know, but like it's

243
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,559
Speaker 1: okay to just be like I am struggling with this

244
00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:43,959
Speaker 1: and I don't want to sugarcoat it for once, like

245
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,200
Speaker 1: like I did all the affirmations I said, like I said,

246
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,640
Speaker 1: I get it, like I've wrote it every day, like

247
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm booking the show like you know, and I'm going

248
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,320
Speaker 1: to get one this year. It's like I've said all

249
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,160
Speaker 1: those things. I'm like, when does it? And I know

250
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,720
Speaker 1: God's plan and I'm so grateful for everything, and Okay,

251
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,520
Speaker 1: I know this wasn't the one and I always know

252
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,679
Speaker 1: they always make sense and it's been how many years? Well,

253
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:05,800
Speaker 1: and I've getten this so close? I'm like, what is it?

254
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,800
Speaker 1: Is it? Just do I am I not that good?

255
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,520
Speaker 1: Is it? Like? I know I'm good enough to This

256
00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,520
Speaker 1: is why I feel I'm good enough to get to

257
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,880
Speaker 1: the final three, But why am I not like good

258
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:21,040
Speaker 1: enough to get it? So I I think it's probably

259
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,760
Speaker 1: again the answer you don't want to hear, which is

260
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:26,400
Speaker 1: just timing or there's something that's been like fifteen years. No,

261
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,600
Speaker 1: I know, And I'm dealing with this on the artist's

262
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,480
Speaker 1: side at my house, where we're like, you know, Presson's

263
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,480
Speaker 1: been at it for twenty five years and not nominated,

264
00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:37,080
Speaker 1: and it gets frustrated, stupid with the tears. No, no, no, no.

265
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,960
Speaker 1: But I think people just think it's like no, I

266
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,600
Speaker 1: think you also just need to get it out so

267
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,240
Speaker 1: grateful and it's freaking hard. It's frustrating. I think they

268
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,800
Speaker 1: do need to hear this though, because I actually was

269
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,800
Speaker 1: just driving the other day. You had sent a note

270
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,400
Speaker 1: that like there's a potential for us to be able

271
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,080
Speaker 1: to come visit you on set, and I was like,

272
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,360
Speaker 1: just so proud of you that you keep going because

273
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,959
Speaker 1: your world is ruthless, like and I really mean that.

274
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,840
Speaker 1: And so the perception for all of us, even the

275
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,800
Speaker 1: ones close to you, is like, we know you're trying,

276
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,400
Speaker 1: but you're still getting stuff. And to me, being a

277
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,440
Speaker 1: working actress is like crazy, Like I'm like that it

278
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,520
Speaker 1: has to speak volumes to your talent that people are

279
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 1: still hiring you, and and I'm grateful for it. I

280
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,280
Speaker 1: know you, and I want the opportunity that I know

281
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,760
Speaker 1: that I haven't. I think people need to hear this

282
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 1: because I would. I think the assumption is that because

283
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,960
Speaker 1: you're a working actress, this is you probably have all

284
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,240
Speaker 1: the things you've ever wanted, you know. And there's a

285
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 1: piece of it too that tables when you become a

286
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,760
Speaker 1: mom or a wife, and like I have shared that

287
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,960
Speaker 1: with you throughout our entire friendship and not really with listeners,

288
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,200
Speaker 1: that I have pinned a lot of big dreams that

289
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,640
Speaker 1: I've had to be able to allow my husband to

290
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,480
Speaker 1: go chase his Like he's performing at the White House,

291
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,480
Speaker 1: he's flying with the Thunderbirds, he's doing all of that

292
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,480
Speaker 1: while I'm home holding it down. And I wouldn't change that,

293
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:58,040
Speaker 1: and I still miss myself. Yeah, so I think it's

294
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,680
Speaker 1: okay for us to just say it and for us

295
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,160
Speaker 1: to not. I don't know. I think I've said this

296
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,920
Speaker 1: to you before, but I had a therapist once tell

297
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,800
Speaker 1: me that attaching a judgment to the feelings what gets dangerous. Yeah,

298
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,200
Speaker 1: so just have the feeling and don't judge yourself for

299
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,520
Speaker 1: having it right. It's just so hard when you have

300
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,160
Speaker 1: the outside noise too of people either in comment boxes

301
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,240
Speaker 1: or whatever, being like, well, she's not even that good

302
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,400
Speaker 1: of an actress. You start to believe some of the

303
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,440
Speaker 1: you know, and I know, I'm I don't, I don't

304
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,160
Speaker 1: believe that, but it wouldn't those moments where you are, well,

305
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,640
Speaker 1: why aren't I you know what is? It is? It is?

306
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,360
Speaker 1: I don't know that part of that world. Yeah, I

307
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 1: mean a lot of our world is, you know. So,

308
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,600
Speaker 1: but it's just you know, and again I know, and

309
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:45,600
Speaker 1: it's like, I mean, politically not republican, I know, just

310
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,720
Speaker 1: like the I always send the things like right there,

311
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 1: it's like I have like I'm literally I'm just sick

312
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,680
Speaker 1: of the narrative and I understand the timing of things,

313
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,880
Speaker 1: so I get that. But I just for anyone else

314
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,200
Speaker 1: that is frustrated and they're not exactly where they want

315
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,400
Speaker 1: to be, but grateful for where they are. It's like,

316
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,360
Speaker 1: that's fair. I think it's okay to be in that

317
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,360
Speaker 1: space too. I do too, and I feel it actually

318
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 1: to my core right now. So we're grateful that we

319
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 1: have a house that music built, and we miss our dad.

320
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 1: We want a data it's exhausting. Yeah yeah, and that's

321
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:21,800
Speaker 1: okay to be not okay sometimes, yeah, okay. Here we

322
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,600
Speaker 1: are here, we are decently not okay, but also blessed,

323
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,840
Speaker 1: and that is a fair thing to want. I also

324
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,800
Speaker 1: really quickly will share this. I always think of it

325
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:35,280
Speaker 1: this way. If Love and Legend and Lion all wanted

326
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:39,040
Speaker 1: something desperately that I had, and I'm happy to give

327
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,880
Speaker 1: to them, but I didn't know that they wanted, wouldn't

328
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 1: I want them to just say it out loud and

329
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,560
Speaker 1: we could just why would they want to have to

330
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,640
Speaker 1: carry that around? I could just give that to them, right, So,

331
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,040
Speaker 1: I think it's okay to just pray boldly and he

332
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,160
Speaker 1: already knows the desires of your heart, but sometimes saying

333
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 1: out loud. I prayed out loud. Finally I was stopped

334
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:59,080
Speaker 1: being afraid to pray for a third baby, and I

335
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 1: just boldly said it. And now look at me, elder mom.

336
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 1: We love her, remove the blocks. Kelly Rippa dishes on

337
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 1: why she finds husband Mark consuelos preference for mourning sex

338
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,359
Speaker 1: to be disgusting. First of all, I love other people

339
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 1: making headlines and saying things I really love. Kelly Rippa,

340
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:31,399
Speaker 1: on the latest episode of the Not So Skinny but

341
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,320
Speaker 1: Not Fat podcasts Alive with Kelly and Marcos, revealed that

342
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,920
Speaker 1: she and Consuelos don't always see eye to eye when

343
00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,639
Speaker 1: when to have sex. I don't know about you and

344
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 1: your marriage, but I'm going to be personal. Are you

345
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,800
Speaker 1: an evening person or a morning person? Ripa asked the host.

346
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,600
Speaker 1: She said, definitely not mourning. Do not breathe on me

347
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:53,159
Speaker 1: in the morning. The personality noted men are mourning people.

348
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,000
Speaker 1: Despite Ripa finding it disgusting, she claimed her husband of

349
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,280
Speaker 1: twenty six years wants to have sex only in the morning.

350
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 1: He'll never learn, she jokingly added, he's a guy thoughts.

351
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,000
Speaker 1: I think it's crazy after twenty six years that we

352
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 1: haven't found some sort of I mean, can we just

353
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:10,119
Speaker 1: meet in the afternoon? Call it a split? That's wild. Listen,

354
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 1: I will never be a morning person while we're home, Sames.

355
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:19,880
Speaker 1: If we're on vacation, like he for example, oh boy,

356
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,040
Speaker 1: when we were on vacation this last not this last time,

357
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 1: at the time before that, like one day in the Bahamas.

358
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,359
Speaker 1: You know, he's like, whoa, you're not a morning person.

359
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, I am when there's not responsibility or kids. Yeah, agreed,

360
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:35,480
Speaker 1: But besides that, like, no, I want to sleep in

361
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,679
Speaker 1: as late as I can, and you're he's usually up

362
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,119
Speaker 1: before me anyways, but I yeah, I don't want to

363
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,240
Speaker 1: be touched in the morning. Yeah. I also think that's

364
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:49,760
Speaker 1: like kind of fun to have that to save for vacation. Yeah,

365
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 1: like that's the fun extra. But you also can't get

366
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 1: me past ten o'clock. So I'm a I'm a I'm

367
00:18:55,640 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 1: gonna wait afternoon, like you know, after the kids get

368
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 1: put to bed, but like after ten, don't touch me.

369
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,600
Speaker 1: I'm tired. Yeah. Yeah, i'd agree. I'm not afraid of

370
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,879
Speaker 1: the morning. But also I just have children. There's just

371
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 1: so many children once you hit three few six. So

372
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,640
Speaker 1: do you have a preferred time to have sex. Yeah,

373
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 1: I actually really love afternoon with him. Afternoon. Yeah, but

374
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,359
Speaker 1: that's how that's what got us that third baby with

375
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 1: naked Tuesdays Boop did it. I just think it's funny

376
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: after twenty six years, that that's still his preference and

377
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 1: that's not her preference, and that they're still just stuck

378
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 1: with that. I mean, I don't think I think they're like,

379
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 1: they're doing fine. But I'm just saying, he'll never learn

380
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,919
Speaker 1: she's saying, and he still really loves it. Again. I

381
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 1: love this overshare because I'm an oversharer. We've got Alison

382
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 1: Brie clips husband Dave Franco's toenails during picnic in the park.

383
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 1: They were spotted enjoying a romantic park picnic on Tuesday,

384
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 1: July fifteenth. According to the social media footage circulating, Franco

385
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 1: was scrolling his phone while Brie was spotting giving her

386
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 1: husban Than some personal attention by clipping his toenails and

387
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 1: throwing them in the grass. Okaz, thought starter, here we go?

388
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 1: Is this fine or disgusting? I'm sorry, I wouldn't. I mean,

389
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,879
Speaker 1: listen more powerty, Allison. I would never cut my I

390
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 1: for some reason, find toenail clippings. Gross. I don't like

391
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,680
Speaker 1: I'm very careful about. I used to know someone who

392
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,360
Speaker 1: would just like clip their toenails and just let them

393
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 1: fly wherever and it's like, please collect them, yeah, and

394
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,520
Speaker 1: then toss them either in the sink or in the trash.

395
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,440
Speaker 1: We do I do all of the kids outside. Yes,

396
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 1: that feels fair, but this is outside. I just don't

397
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 1: think I would do it in public. Yeah, I'm just like,

398
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 1: is there something we can just say for like, I

399
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,480
Speaker 1: don't know, the half bath at home or something like that.

400
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: That's a little I really I have clipped my husband's

401
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 1: toenails before in public, not in public. And then I

402
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 1: also got to the point where I'm like, well, you're

403
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 1: able body. No, I know, it's weird because they're like

404
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 1: they're like God's little hardware, you know, So they're just

405
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 1: so strong, and so I also just don't want them

406
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 1: in public. Grass. I don't know why it bothers me

407
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,120
Speaker 1: that they're in public grass your own law, and maybe

408
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: I think having said that, though, have you ever had

409
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 1: your man help you shave while you're pregnant? No? No,

410
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,640
Speaker 1: you have, well, not like I don't remember, no, because

411
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: Alan it's like by the third baby you're kind of

412
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: like knowing what you're doing. But I mean I don't.

413
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 1: I definitely don't think that's weird because that's like helping

414
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,919
Speaker 1: and I don't even think the toenail thing. I think

415
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 1: it could actually be sweet if that matters to someone.

416
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 1: I think that could be like an active service. But

417
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: at home, Yeah, it's the public toenail for me. I mean, listen,

418
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 1: that sound like they were out to like a restaurant

419
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 1: doing it. I think being in a park is fine. Yeah.

420
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: I guess the part of the story that I really

421
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 1: love the most though, is just that they're just comfortable

422
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: out in the wild. Yes, love that because I wonder

423
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 1: if they were strangers, would we I think I'd still

424
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 1: feel the same. It's to be like, wow, a tone

425
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,880
Speaker 1: a public tonnail clipping. It's kind of like seeing someone's

426
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: foot on an airplane. I don't need to see anyone's

427
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: toes on airplane, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, when

428
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 1: they take their socks off or they take their shoes off,

429
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 1: and then you see their foot, it's like they sandal

430
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: on an airplane, to be honest, sand Yeah, example, so

431
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: sandal and then they put their foot up on the

432
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: chair and then I look to my right and I

433
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,120
Speaker 1: see it like a dude's nail. I don't I don't

434
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 1: want to see it. Please put it away. That's so fair,

435
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 1: and it really truly like I know that everybody I know,

436
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: they could do anything. Yeah, does my foot right now

437
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 1: bother you? No? But I mean my feet you know,

438
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,199
Speaker 1: toenails are out too. But I would I bother you

439
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,880
Speaker 1: if I start clipping them right now? Yeah, I would

440
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 1: be bothered by that. I'd also do a well check

441
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: because that doesn't seem like cam but that's fine. Shana

442
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 1: Shay says husband brock Davy's cheated on her while she

443
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: was pregnant. She's got a memoir out my good Side

444
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: that her husband brock Davy's cheat on her when she

445
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 1: was pregnant with the couple's daughter, Summer Moon Now for

446
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 1: Davi's admitted to the adultery in twenty twenty three, after

447
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 1: the news broke of the scandaval, the infamous cheating scandival

448
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: between Tom and Rachel. Shay wrote that one night she

449
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: sat down to watch the latest episode of The Real Houses,

450
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 1: New Jersey. According to the thing She's right before I

451
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: press play, Brock told me to put down the remote

452
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 1: because he needs to talk to me about something important.

453
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 1: I thought he was joking at first, but then I

454
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: noticed his face was serious, and my heart began beating

455
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 1: against my chest. What could possibly go wrong? She said,

456
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: Her body froze. Her husband told her he cheated on

457
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: me two years prior, when we were living in San

458
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,439
Speaker 1: Diego during the pandemic, when I was pregnant with Summer.

459
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 1: She recalled, completely stick to my stomach. He was scared

460
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 1: about being a father again. They chose to deal with

461
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 1: it by sleeping with someone else. We might be able

462
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 1: to interview her at some point about this, you know.

463
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 1: She also said too that she's aware that some fans

464
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: will be quick to throw her past affair with the

465
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 1: then married Eddie in her face. It felt like I

466
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: got my karma. But you know, does that what comes

467
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 1: over your body when you read that? Because this feels

468
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 1: like very close to home for you. I mean, yeah,

469
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 1: I mean my ex cheated on me when I was

470
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 1: pregnant with Jolie and Jason. But he wasn't saying I

471
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 1: have something to tell you. Well, that's different to me.

472
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 1: And that's a piece where it's like it doesn't make

473
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: it right at all, like at all, the cheating part,

474
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 1: that's awful, No, no, no, But there's a piece of

475
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 1: accountability that I appreciate when a cheater does admit wrongdoing before, yes,

476
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 1: I think they found out. It does not make it right,

477
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: It does not make it okay. It's none of that.

478
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 1: But there is a that is a different person to

479
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 1: me as opposed to the person that is only semi honest,

480
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: because I will never believe again, just from my own

481
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: personal trauma, that someone who cheated then got caught is

482
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 1: then going to be honest poe about what happened. Because

483
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 1: of my personal past, it was always there was always

484
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: something more, There was always another lie, which is why

485
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 1: when I talk to a lot of women in my

486
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 1: DMS and they say like, well, how do I believe?

487
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 1: And I'm like, most cases, there is always more if

488
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: you found out, because they're going to be hiding something else.

489
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 1: They don't want you to know. That's right. In more cases.

490
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: In my case that was also it. So when someone

491
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: does come forward like that, it does show a different

492
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: type of person. Again, not condoning, not saying any of

493
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 1: it was okay, but that is kind of what came up.

494
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 1: It's like there is a piece of like I would

495
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 1: have loved that little ounce of respect because the act

496
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 1: itself is so disrespectful, and the discovery is awful and

497
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,479
Speaker 1: everything past that. But I do find I do have

498
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 1: an ounce of respect for a man that can actually

499
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 1: come and say I messed up. I agree, and I

500
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 1: feel like I could trust that person more. Yeah, I

501
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: just I just don't think that there is a woman

502
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: alive that can unfeel the moment they discover something like that,

503
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,199
Speaker 1: like it is the worst all of us can go

504
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:13,439
Speaker 1: back in a millisecond, Yeah, to the moment where they

505
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 1: were we were the bottom fellow, and I like immediately

506
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: feel that six stomach and I feel though, yeah, hm,

507
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: tricky it is. I also hate this because there's the

508
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,719
Speaker 1: public aspect of just everything for them, So it's the

509
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 1: show and it's everything that went around it, and the

510
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 1: scandal and the It just is hard enough. And I've

511
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: always said this even to you, like hard enough to

512
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: have to deal with it, harder to have to deal

513
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: with it publicly. The public facing side is just unfortunate.

514
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 1: And her new book is her telling her side from

515
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 1: my understanding, So I'll also say too, I'm not one

516
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: to jump on the bandwagon of internet people saying oh, well,

517
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 1: she had an affair with the married man, so that

518
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 1: this is karma, because I think hurt people hurt people,

519
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:05,639
Speaker 1: and it's I don't think it's I don't know karma.

520
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: It's something that I I don't like to play with

521
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: because I don't want karma to ever come back on things.

522
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 1: Do you think you have? Like, do you believe in that?

523
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: That was one of my promotions. I think who you

524
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,679
Speaker 1: are comes back around if you don't change who you are,

525
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 1: I would, I would one hundred percent agree with that.

526
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,959
Speaker 1: If you don't heal pieces of you, you're karma. But

527
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 1: I will say your past will come back. Yeah, if

528
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: that is how, that's how I kind of look at karma,

529
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 1: where if you are the same person, it will come

530
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: back not because you did X, but because you didn't

531
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 1: do Y and Z right the recovery, the work. Yeah,

532
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: that feels really fair and honest. So I'm not one

533
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 1: to be like, well she deserved it, because then it's

534
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: like I don't think anyone do. Yeah, I don't think

535
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: anyone deserves anything. I don't think what he did was right.

536
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,160
Speaker 1: I don't think what he did was right, and let's

537
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: fix that to not repeat the cycle of it happening again.

538
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: I also just think, and this is by no means

539
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: me excusing, ever, I just have been married before, and

540
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: I just know some people are just not meant for recovery.

541
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: Some people are not meant for it to continue as

542
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 1: honest as they could get as much as they do.

543
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: Some people bring out the worst in each other, so

544
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: even if there was no any extra anything, they're just

545
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: gonna continue to just clash. And I sometimes I feel

546
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 1: like these affairs are like that, like the eruption that

547
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: just makes it like okay, so now it's just all done.

548
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 1: It's just all blown up, you know, like burn it down.

549
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: And I hate that, especially when there's kids involved. But man, yeah,

550
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: and some people are just not gonna well. And I

551
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: think some people can. I don't want to say some

552
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 1: people can change for other people. But some people, like

553
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: you said, are just oil and water. Yeah, so where

554
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: they might be oil and water in a marriage, they

555
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 1: will be different. Like I know, I have a different

556
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: Allen than his ex his ex wife, right, I am

557
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: different than who MI had. We have different experiences, right,

558
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 1: and we have changed because of what we either learned

559
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: or grown through or healed through whatever. And then I

560
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 1: also think there are other people that are just who

561
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: they are and will be that way, and we'll cheat

562
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: on next people's relationships because that's just who they are

563
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: and they had not done the work to heal the

564
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 1: pieces of it. I mean, I'm not even the same

565
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 1: wife I was nine years ago. Yeah, we're coming up

566
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 1: on ten years this year, and I'm just I've been

567
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: like kind of thinking back to just even the husband

568
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 1: I have in the last three years and how different

569
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: he is. I mean, it's it's just really But then

570
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 1: you have to add the public microscope to everything too,

571
00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: and the child layer, and it's exhausting. Yeah. I have

572
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: an amazing eight year old daughter. Her dad and I

573
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: have been divorced for about three years, and while things

574
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: started off fairly amicable, we've hit a rough patch when

575
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 1: it comes to co parenting. The biggest issue right now

576
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: is consistency. I try really hard to keep routines and

577
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 1: boundaries at my house, like bedtime, screen time, and chores,

578
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 1: but when she goes to her dad's, all of that

579
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 1: goes out the window. She comes back exhausted, over stimulated,

580
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: and upset when I try to re establish any structure.

581
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 1: I've tried talking to him about it, but he just

582
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: says I'm being controlling or that kids need to have fun.

583
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the boring, strict parent while

584
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: he gets to be the fun one. And more importantly,

585
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: I feel like it's starting to affect our daughter's emotional stability.

586
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 1: How do I navigate this without making things worse between

587
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: us or putting my daughter in the middle? Thank you? Yeah,

588
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: if I feel like you'd be more of an expert

589
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: on this. And this is so hard. This is the

590
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 1: part so hard. I have a girlfriend. I'm making this fast,

591
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: but I have a girlfriend who we've talked about like

592
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 1: turbulent times with our husband, and every time she just

593
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 1: goes back to I would rather fight here than have

594
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: to try to do exactly what's happening to this woman.

595
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: And that's not me saying that there's sometimes it just

596
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 1: has to happen. I just cannot imagine specifically the control freak.

597
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 1: I'll say it high strung if you will, kind of

598
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: mom that I am having to deal with this, so

599
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: I is always off to the co parenting parents of

600
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: the world. It's not easy. I can't. I literally can't

601
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: and don't want to have to imagine. Yeah, it's it's hard,

602
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: and it's I've tried to have the conversations and where

603
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: I feel like at times we've made progress. We can't

604
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: control what foods they eat there. We can't control, like

605
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: I all I know what I can do is what

606
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: I can control in our house, and I think that's

607
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: what I have to keep coming back to. When I

608
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 1: unpack lunches and I'm like I said, I don't want

609
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: them eating this. I it's takes more energy to then

610
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 1: call and be like I thought we talked that we're

611
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: not going to give them red dye in this. You know,

612
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 1: it's it's more energy to go to to not to

613
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: to go do that instead of just going, Okay, what

614
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: does that phone call do? He already isn't going to

615
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: do whatever he wants to do. He's already then when

616
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: I call, going to feel controlled, because that's the that's

617
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,479
Speaker 1: his narrative in our marriage so or in our past marriage.

618
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: So I can only control what I can control here.

619
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: I know that I'm not going to pack those for

620
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 1: those lunches, and that's all that I can do. When

621
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: it comes to the overstimulation and being tired, I mean,

622
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: it's you know, again we there are times where you

623
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: know we might not put them to bed at the

624
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: same time, but again, you just have to go to

625
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: being consistent in your home is the best thing for

626
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: your kid. I think it's so. The part that I

627
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 1: can what is the word relate to is I'm the

628
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: say your prayers and mind your manner's parents legend in

629
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 1: love so pleasantly put it. Data tries too, but like

630
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 1: I'm the one with the structure, with the rules, with

631
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 1: the you know, brain, and I can that part does get.

632
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 1: I don't know an answer for that other than we

633
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: parent for the long game, and we parent for the

634
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 1: moment where it clicks, like I am may not make sense,

635
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: but a parent for the moment where love is like

636
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: thirty and she says, if I only knew, like thinking back,

637
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 1: it all just clicks. And I think about the long

638
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: runs into Nashville for a ballet class to try, or

639
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: the exhausted like you fall asleep in my bed and

640
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: then you didn't get to watch your shit it's like,

641
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: or the short temper. I just know that there will

642
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: be a time, whether it's here Heaven, that it all

643
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: will rectify and doesn't make me a better parent or anything,

644
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,720
Speaker 1: just that they'll see it for what it is. I

645
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: think there's that, but I think there's also, like what

646
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: I've tried to do like it. I know they're going

647
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: to get more technology over it at Dad's house. I

648
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: know they're going to watch more TV, they're gonna play

649
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: the video games, they're going to do all that, And

650
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: I have made piece of that. I don't like it,

651
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: but I've made peace of it because I know that

652
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: I can't control an piece of that. What I make

653
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 1: sure of is when they come here, it's we're outside,

654
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: we're playing, we're doing this, we're playing, we're going to

655
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: the park, we're walking, we're riding bikes. And I help

656
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: educate them why when they want to, because they'll be like, well,

657
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 1: why can we don't get to watch like here? And

658
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, can I can I tell you the reasons

659
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: why this isn't always great for your sweet little brains,

660
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 1: you know, so one day that they can go actually, no,

661
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 1: instead of TV. I want to do this so that

662
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: they might then make the choice to go this isn't

663
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 1: the best option, the choice that I should be doing

664
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 1: right now. I want to go play outside instead. Yep,

665
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 1: that's kind of what I hope for and be like, no,

666
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I'm gonna rather eat this instead of this. Well,

667
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: and the memories are just so much sweeter. Yes, but again,

668
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 1: I think it's about just picking your battles and going, Okay,

669
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: are they happy or they loved? Bottom bottom line, that's

670
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 1: that's what the it's over that then fighting about if

671
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: they have jolly ranchers. Yeah, and eight is tricky, but

672
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 1: I bet you'll see the fruits of your labor and

673
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 1: the good habits start to roll over into that house

674
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 1: because there'll be people that kind of make those choices

675
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 1: eventually to stay consistent and love. That's it all right, Well,

676
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 1: that was fun and emotional. Bye bye,