1 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheekies, and you've reached the 2 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: voicemail box for dear Cheekies, I'm here to give you 3 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe 4 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,319 Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with 5 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how 6 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business. 7 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember 8 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,599 Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering 9 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from 10 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave 11 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beat. Hi, Cheekies, 12 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: I really hope you get to listen to my message. 13 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: I love you and I respect you as a business owner, 14 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: and I was hoping to get some an advice on 15 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: a situation that I'm in. I work full time, but 16 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: I also have a small freelance business going and recently 17 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: I've had a big opportunity to work with local business 18 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 1: here that has been freaking awesome. But the downside is 19 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: that they don't hold up to the end of the 20 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: deal when it comes to payment and what was agreed on. 21 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,480 Speaker 1: I really just want to cut ties because I've spoken 22 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,919 Speaker 1: up to the business owner about it, and at this point, 23 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: you know, I'm just realizing that this business has just 24 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: taken advantage of me, ripping me off, and it really 25 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 1: hurts because I talk to them face to face, they 26 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: see my face. We work together, but it's the payment 27 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: that they just don't deliver on and I don't work 28 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,320 Speaker 1: for free. I should really walk away because I don't 29 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: know when to owe them anything, but since I already 30 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: invested so much time, it hurts me that they keep 31 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: asking for more even though I could do it, but 32 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: I just know they'll never pay me for it. It 33 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: just sucks, and I'm pretty sure I'm just going to 34 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: walk away. But I was just hoping to get advice 35 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: on how to stop feeling guilty when something you really 36 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 1: want doesn't work out. Wow, this is such a great question. 37 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: I was just talking to my mentor about this yesterday, 38 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: how not to feel guilty. So this is perfect. Okay, 39 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: So first of all, yeah, you shouldn't and no one 40 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 1: should work for free unless you are like starting and 41 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: you are an intern. You know, you have your business 42 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: and they wanted to go into business with you for 43 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,679 Speaker 1: a reason, So there you have it. First of all 44 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: know that you have something special because they saw you 45 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 1: and wanted to be in business with you. And it 46 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: sucks because it's always like with money that friendships or 47 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: family or relationships. It's like, dude, like I did my end, 48 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: you did yours. Just be fair, and it sucks that 49 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: they're not being fair. I think if you've spoken to 50 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,119 Speaker 1: them time and time again, I would try one more 51 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: time to be like, hey, X, Y, and Z, you 52 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: need to pay me. If not, I would talk to 53 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: an attorney and try to send some type of letter. 54 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: It just sucks. It has to get to that point. 55 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,799 Speaker 1: But also, if you don't stop the bleeding, they're going 56 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: to deplete you literally, you know what I mean. Like, 57 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,519 Speaker 1: that's where it's you kind of have to say astacky 58 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: and it feels like you're there already. And basically you shouldn't. 59 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,359 Speaker 1: You should not feel guilty at all because at the 60 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: end of the day, this is not your fault. You 61 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 1: did everything you could. You have spoken up, you have 62 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: tried to save and salvage the business relationship and they're 63 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 1: just not holding their end of the bargain and that's 64 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: not cool and that's not your fault and you need 65 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: to stand up for yourself. No one's going to give 66 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 1: you your place unless you give yourself your place, and 67 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: you teach people to respect you bottom line. So if 68 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: you don't do this, they will take advantage over and 69 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: over and over and over and over, and you will 70 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 1: regret it if you don't do something sooner rather than later. 71 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: So don't feel guilty. This is not your fault. This 72 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: is not your fault. And they wanted you for a reason. Girl, 73 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: you have something special, and so does your business, so 74 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: hold on to that. It does not finish here. This 75 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: is just a little bump in the road, and we 76 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: have a bunch of those, you know. So I hope 77 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: I was able to help you. And next time, tell 78 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: me tell me your name, girl, tell me your name. Okay. 79 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,720 Speaker 1: Our next question comes from a lovely listener named Chris. 80 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: Let's see what he has to say. I first wanted 81 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: to say that I love your music. Your music has 82 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: shown me to be a great person, showed me to 83 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 1: live my life to the fullest and enjoy life truly. 84 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: And I have two questions. One, how do you deal 85 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: with parents who are very much hesta and that you've 86 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 1: told them and shown them multiple times that you don't 87 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,359 Speaker 1: want to be put in the box. And have you 88 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: ever thought about doing a concert here in New York? 89 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,919 Speaker 1: Because I know me and a bunch of other boss 90 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: Bees would love to see you here. Hi, Chris, I 91 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 1: love your voice. It's so sweet and it just makes 92 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: my heart feel fuzzy. I do want to go to 93 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 1: New York and do a show. I haven't gone there 94 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: in a while. I think the last show was in 95 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: the Bronx. I think like four years ago. But anyways, 96 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 1: you're right on my boss Bees from New York. I'm 97 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: working on it. I love you guys, and hopefully it'll 98 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: happen soon. I'll keep you guys updated. But as far 99 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 1: as your question, Chris, well, that's a toughie because I 100 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: don't know how old you are. You sound young, but 101 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I'm assuming you're living at home, 102 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: and yes, parents can be machistas. I'm very traditional. My 103 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 1: mom was very traditional in a lot of ways. It 104 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: just on the other end, it's kind of My mom 105 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: would always say, like, if you live in my home, 106 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: it's my rules. What I say goes. I pay the bills, 107 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,239 Speaker 1: and she was very much right. Now that i've gotten older, 108 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, well, I got to grow up. Now, 109 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: I grow up, and I'm making my own set of rules, 110 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 1: you know. So I don't know exactly what it is 111 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: that this question is pertaining to, but I think for 112 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,919 Speaker 1: sure I always respect your parents. They want the best 113 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 1: for you. First of all. It's a little hard to 114 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,480 Speaker 1: answer the question, but I think more than anything, respect them. 115 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: Try to have a conversation and say, Hi, I'm at 116 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: this age and I want you to respect me for 117 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: who I am and soy my individuality. And it's gonna 118 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: be tough because parents, some parents, especially Latin parents, want 119 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:13,040 Speaker 1: to just as lokay and I know what's best for you, 120 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: and yes, but you're also here to live your own 121 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,600 Speaker 1: life and learn from your own mistakes. But it's all 122 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: about having that conversation with them and saying, hey, at 123 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: least trying, can you please just see me as me? 124 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: And I'm not going to do things like you want 125 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: me to do them. I need to grow. I need 126 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: to grow and learn through my experiences. So hopefully that helps, Chris, 127 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: I mean hopefully that does, because it's a little hard 128 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,160 Speaker 1: to answer the question, but hopefully that helps. But I 129 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: always respect your parents, especially if you live under the roof. Okay, 130 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 1: now let's hear from Jocelyn my chinkies. How do I 131 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: let go of somebody that has caused me so much 132 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 1: pain over the last during and a half years. He 133 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 1: has moved on with his life or has tried, but 134 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,280 Speaker 1: he still wants to keep ahold of me. And that's 135 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: not fair as fucked up as it sounds. Excuse my language. 136 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: If he were to tell me, like, okay, let's fix this, 137 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: I would fix it with him. It's just been extremely 138 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: hard because we were friends, we got together, and he 139 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: had maybe with somebody else while on the relationship, and 140 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: now it's probably one of the hardest things that I've 141 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: got to endure. And I think he keeps a hold 142 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: of me by not giving things that belong to me back. 143 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: We have built together, and yeah, he doesn't want to 144 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: give nothing that belongs to me, that's all under my 145 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: name back, He wants to keep it. How do I 146 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: deal with that? Hi, Mama, I'm gonna be very much 147 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 1: try to be very nice as respectful as possible, But 148 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: this guy sounds like a total asshole, like a narcissist. 149 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: That's just my personal opinion. He probably real nice, but 150 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: he doesn't sound like he's being nice to you. And 151 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: guess who's allowed it, Jocelyn. Jocelyn has allowed it. Okay. 152 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: I have been in that position where I think we 153 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: all go through it where there's this guy that just 154 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: melts us and it doesn't matter what he does, and 155 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: it's just like we always just fall back to him. 156 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: But it's a very very toxic cycle. And if you 157 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: do not get yourself out of this situation, you're going 158 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 1: to look back ten years from now, you're gonna look older, 159 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 1: you're gonna look different. He's going to deplete you, he's 160 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: going to have I don't know how many other girls like. 161 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: It's just you're going to regret it so bad. So 162 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 1: what I would say, you gotta just stop this and 163 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: cut all ties, cut all ties, bills or whatever it is, 164 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,679 Speaker 1: if it's a car or whatever it is. It you 165 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: guys have together, and that is a string that he's 166 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: attaching to you. Because the thing is he's been used 167 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 1: to always being able to come in and out of 168 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 1: your life, so he's used to that. This is sad 169 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: to say, but he doesn't even respect, he doesn't value you, 170 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: and I can I can already see that. And if 171 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: you do not love and respect yourself first, Jocelyn. He 172 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: will never love and respect you the way that you deserve. 173 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: So I would say, you're gonna cry. It's gonna be 174 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: very hard to let go of this. It's gonna be 175 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:19,680 Speaker 1: very difficult. I'm not going to even make it seem 176 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 1: like it's going to be pretty. But you have to 177 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,079 Speaker 1: do this. You have to love yourself more and say no, Astaki, 178 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 1: he had a baby while you guys were in the relationship, 179 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: Like he just no no, no, no no, no, no, no no. 180 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 1: He wants his cake and he wants to eat it too, 181 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: and you're allowing it. Baby. So I am going to 182 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: pray for you because I know I have been there 183 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: where someone just takes complete advantage and takes me for granted. 184 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,319 Speaker 1: And then once you just like know who the fuck 185 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: you are, no one will ever do that to you again. 186 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 1: Like you just need to know what I have look 187 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: and who I am as a woman and how special 188 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: I am and how honored the person that is with 189 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: me should feel and should be, you know what I mean. 190 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,319 Speaker 1: So we got to work on that, Jocelyn. I'm sending 191 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: you a big hug and I'm gonna pray that this 192 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 1: guy just goes away, and honestly, you cut it first. 193 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 1: You need to cut it. It's gonna make you feel 194 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: better if you cut him off versus him doing it 195 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: to you. Okay, that's just a little ego thing, but 196 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 1: do it. You gotta do it. Jocelyn sending you a hug, Mama. 197 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: All right, Well, this is it for me today, guys. 198 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: For dear cheek ees Um, I want to say thank 199 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 1: you so much to my lovely listeners who submitted their 200 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: questions to me at speakpipe dot com slash Cheeks and 201 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: Chill podcast. Hearing from you guys really makes my heart 202 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: feel better. Honestly, it's my best part of the week. 203 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 1: It's like my favorite I promise thank you guys again. 204 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: I will see you next Wednesday. This is a production 205 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and the Michael Duda podcast Network. Follow us 206 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Michael Duda Podcasts and follow me cheekies. 207 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 1: That's see hi Quis. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit 208 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 209 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube.