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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, where we

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Speaker 1: discussed all things mental health, personal development, and all the

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Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible

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Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information

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Speaker 1: and resources, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: dot com. And while I hope you love listening to

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Speaker 1: and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to

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Speaker 1: be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental

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Speaker 1: health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me

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Speaker 1: for session twenty of Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Before

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Speaker 1: we get started today, I just want to call your

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Speaker 1: attention to the new and improved Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: therapist directory. So we've had a little makeover and I

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Speaker 1: like for you to check it out. If you're looking

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Speaker 1: for a therapist in your neck out of the woods,

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Speaker 1: you can definitely head on over to Therapy for Black

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Speaker 1: Girls dot com backslash directory. Or if you are a

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Speaker 1: therapist and you're interested in getting your private practice or

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Speaker 1: agency listed in the directory, you can go to Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com backslash being listed all of

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Speaker 1: this information, of course, will be included in the show notes.

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Speaker 1: I'd also like to give a special shout out to

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Speaker 1: friend of the show, Killa Knight, who has been doing

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Speaker 1: an awesome job sharing the word about therapy for black

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Speaker 1: girls and getting the word out about the podcast. So

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Speaker 1: I really appreciate you, Keela. Today we have a special

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Speaker 1: on the Couch episode all about Monica from Love and Basketball.

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Speaker 1: I am joined today by special guest therapist, Dr Kensa Gunter.

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Speaker 1: Kinsa is a licensed clinical and sports psychologist. She works

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Speaker 1: in private practice in the metro Atlanta area, providing clinical

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Speaker 1: and sport performance psychology services to adolescent and adult populations. Additionally,

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Speaker 1: she offers consultation services to organizations and athletic personnel, including coaches,

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Speaker 1: certified athletic trainers, athletic administrators, and sports nutritionists. So we

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Speaker 1: definitely dive into a lot related to sports psychology, but

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Speaker 1: Dr guns Are also shared a wealth of information that

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Speaker 1: is applicable to your life, no matter whether you're an

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Speaker 1: athlete or have been an athlete in your former life.

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Speaker 1: So thank you so much for joining me on the

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Speaker 1: podcast today, Kansas. Thank you so much for having me.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited to be here. And talk to you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I think that this will be a great kind

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Speaker 1: of throwback Thursday episode. So tell us who you will

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Speaker 1: be talking with us about today. So my plan for

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Speaker 1: today is to talk about a character who is from

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Speaker 1: one of my absolute favorite movies, um, Love and Basketball.

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Speaker 1: And the character that I'll be discussing is Monica, right, yeah, definitely, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: So for or some of our listeners who may be

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Speaker 1: a little younger, you may not have been um kind

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Speaker 1: of at the movies when Loving Basketball came out, but

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Speaker 1: sure you've seen it like replay on the Aged One

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Speaker 1: or you know, in the movie marathons and stuff. So

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Speaker 1: and if you haven't, you should definitely check it out

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Speaker 1: because it is definitely a classic, certainly a classic movie. Right, So,

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Speaker 1: can you give us a little background about her character

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Speaker 1: maybe for people who are not familiar with the movie

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Speaker 1: or haven't seen it in a while. Yeah. So one

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Speaker 1: of the basketball is really, um, I want to say,

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Speaker 1: kind of a coming of age stories. So you have, um,

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Speaker 1: this middle class family who's moved. At the beginning, the

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Speaker 1: family two parents, older sister, younger sister. Monica happens to

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Speaker 1: be the younger sister in the pair, and the storage

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Speaker 1: travels or takes you through a journey of of her

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Speaker 1: development from I would say middle school, UM, high school

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Speaker 1: into college, but it follows her basketball career. Basketball is

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Speaker 1: kind of the anchor for her UM as when the

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Speaker 1: family moved at the beginning of the movie, she's playing

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Speaker 1: basketball UM and we kind of see her developed in

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Speaker 1: her skill level and the different levels of competitions throughout

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Speaker 1: the movie, in addition to following her basketball where we

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Speaker 1: also see what happens that she progresses as a person

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Speaker 1: in life throughout that same time. So it really is

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Speaker 1: kind of traveling through one's UM life journey UM, and

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Speaker 1: it's anchored by their love, passion identity with basketball. Perfect.

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Speaker 1: So the perfect character for a sports psychologist to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Definitely the perfect character because I think, you know, a

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Speaker 1: lot of people just focus on the athletics part of

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Speaker 1: one's identity when they think about sports psychology. But really,

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Speaker 1: for me, UM, I come from a place of working

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Speaker 1: with a total person and and I feel like if

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Speaker 1: you don't if you have a healthy person, you'll have

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Speaker 1: a healthy athlete. So I think Monica is a really

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Speaker 1: good character to look at and think about in terms

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Speaker 1: of looking at the holistic picture of someone who happens

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Speaker 1: to place for God to you, that's a very nice

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Speaker 1: um kind of vantage points to come from for sure.

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Speaker 1: Air mm hm. So you did mention like lots of

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Speaker 1: transitions and lots of things kind of you know, we

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Speaker 1: see her um go through throughout the movie. Um, So

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Speaker 1: at what point and what do you think would have

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Speaker 1: led Monica into therapy? So you know, the movie itself

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Speaker 1: is actually broken down into quarters, and so I recently

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Speaker 1: rewatched it just to kind of familiarize myself with some

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Speaker 1: of the nuances that I may have forgotten, being that's

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Speaker 1: been a while since I've seen it. And I think

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Speaker 1: at different points in her life there could have been

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Speaker 1: um different things that prompted her to get into therapy

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Speaker 1: and prompted her to seek therapy. So in the first

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Speaker 1: quarter of her life, which is when the family has

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Speaker 1: just moved to a new city, she doesn't really have

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Speaker 1: a lot of friends. Um, that could have been a point.

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Speaker 1: Because transition is generally difficult for people in general, and

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Speaker 1: for kids it can be hard because that means the

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Speaker 1: loss of familiarity with friends, the lass of familiarity with school,

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Speaker 1: and kind of activities that they may be involved in.

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Speaker 1: And what we see is from the very beginning of

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Speaker 1: the movie, Monica used this basketball as her way to

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Speaker 1: connect and try to find her place even in this

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Speaker 1: new environment. And so I think it's a good thing

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Speaker 1: that she had that I can use that, But if

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Speaker 1: it were not pushed for or something else, that would

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Speaker 1: have allowed her to connect very quickly, just transitioning to

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Speaker 1: a new place and acclimating to a new environment, trying

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Speaker 1: to make new friends and being a new setting because

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Speaker 1: they were coming from Atlanta and moving to California, and

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Speaker 1: so that could have been a place where the family

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Speaker 1: as a home might have gone into therapy to help

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Speaker 1: the kids with that transition and and the idea of

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Speaker 1: letting go of what they had known and holding on

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Speaker 1: and trying to grab onto this new experience. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: what about anything in the second quarter? Yeah, so in

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Speaker 1: the second quarter, um, I think we see that she

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Speaker 1: is more sobbily solidly in her athletic identity and and

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Speaker 1: she's the start of the team, she's the captain of

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Speaker 1: the team. Um. But what we also see is she

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Speaker 1: has some trouble with emotional control on the court. I

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Speaker 1: mean they highlight them really well in the movie, where

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Speaker 1: if a call, it's the referee makes a call on

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Speaker 1: her her she will kind of act out on court,

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Speaker 1: and it was also her being pulled and put on

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Speaker 1: the bench, and so her inability to kind of control

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Speaker 1: her reactions and her emotions are affecting her ability to

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Speaker 1: perform and actually be on the court and do what

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Speaker 1: she loves. So that too, could be a time where

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Speaker 1: working with the sports psychologist to help her learn how

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Speaker 1: to manage those emotions and channel that feeling in a

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Speaker 1: positive way that helps her performance rather than something that

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Speaker 1: gets in the way of her performance. Could have been

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Speaker 1: an opportunity for her to talk to someone and maybe

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Speaker 1: developed some additional skills. As we move into the third

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Speaker 1: quarter when she goes to switch again, we're back to

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Speaker 1: that transition point and when there are times to transition again,

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Speaker 1: as I said before, people have to let some things

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Speaker 1: go and grab something new. But beyond just kind of

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Speaker 1: transitioning to college from the high school environment, her role

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Speaker 1: in basketball is changing as well. So she's going from

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Speaker 1: being the star, the captain, the one that everybody looks

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Speaker 1: to in order to make things happen and kind of

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Speaker 1: put the team on their back and pulling through to

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Speaker 1: being a rookie right, a new player on the team,

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Speaker 1: new teammates, new coaches, and she doesn't have the status

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Speaker 1: at all. She's riding the bench, she's the backup um

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Speaker 1: and get a lot of playing time. And for a

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Speaker 1: lot of athletes kind of making that transition, especially from

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Speaker 1: high school to college, when they're used to being the star,

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Speaker 1: going to a different role can be a real shock

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Speaker 1: and a jolt to the system because their athletic identity

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Speaker 1: can take a hit. Um athletic identity is one of

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Speaker 1: those unique identities that typically formed early in one's life,

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Speaker 1: and like I said, Monica used for it from a

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Speaker 1: very young age to help her cope with transitions and difficulties,

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Speaker 1: and so her identity as an athlete was developed really

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Speaker 1: really early and solidified really really earlier. I mean, there's

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Speaker 1: a team where they show a glimpse of her room

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Speaker 1: at home, and it fills the certificates and the trophies

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Speaker 1: and pictures and metals all related to the success in basketball.

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Speaker 1: So to transition to college where she still has some

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Speaker 1: skills and as a part of the team, but is

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Speaker 1: not nearly the big fish in the small pond she

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Speaker 1: was in high school, could really be an adjudgment. Um.

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Speaker 1: I happened to work with some college athletes and have

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to do that, and sometimes that can be

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Speaker 1: a real challenge for them, beyond just the rigors of

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Speaker 1: college life, managing the responsibility, the independence, and the requirements

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Speaker 1: that it takes. That the responsibilities that I should say

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Speaker 1: of being a student athlete, but also that change from

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Speaker 1: being a stard to just being a role player on

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Speaker 1: the team. So that's the time when she could have

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Speaker 1: potentially used some help in in adjusting to the newness

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Speaker 1: of that role in that experience. And then in the

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Speaker 1: fourth quarter, UM still related to her basketball, UM, she

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Speaker 1: ends up going overseas to play. And although at the

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Speaker 1: time that was one of the only opportunities that women

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Speaker 1: had for continuing to play beyond college, to go to

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Speaker 1: the seas, the w n b A was not really

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Speaker 1: created at that time. It didn't get created until nine,

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Speaker 1: So prior to that, overseas play was all that an

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Speaker 1: athlete had in terms of an options for female professional

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Speaker 1: basketball players. But there's such a onliness and isolation that

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Speaker 1: can come with being in a new country, new language.

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Speaker 1: You don't know anybody, All of your friends are back

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Speaker 1: at home, all your families back at home. It can

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Speaker 1: be a real sacrifice to think about how do I

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Speaker 1: continue to pursue my dream while letting go again of

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Speaker 1: everything that I know. So I think the thing that

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Speaker 1: you may hear is transition. There's transition at every level,

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Speaker 1: right and at every level. There could have been something

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Speaker 1: that happened in merger came up that that um Monica

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Speaker 1: could have benefited from talking to someone about. Yeah, canc,

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Speaker 1: you have given us like a million different ways we

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Speaker 1: can go with this. Um So two of the know

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Speaker 1: it's perfect. It's perfect because two of the things I

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Speaker 1: really would like for you to highlight and maybe talk about,

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Speaker 1: like what you would have done if she had come

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Speaker 1: to you at that point. UM one, going back to

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Speaker 1: the explosion that she had on the court, So like,

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Speaker 1: how do you work with your athletes to teach them

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Speaker 1: emotional control? And then how do you work with athletes

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Speaker 1: like maybe as they moved to the collegiate um level

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Speaker 1: and they're not the story anymore, Like what kinds of

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Speaker 1: things would you do with them? Yeah, So going to

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Speaker 1: the emotional control piece, I mean, athletics and sports in

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Speaker 1: general is such a passionate endeavor, right, Like people invest

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Speaker 1: a lot of time energy families, and that money for

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Speaker 1: people and kids used to have an opportunity to participate

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Speaker 1: in sports that they love. And a lot of people

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Speaker 1: see sports as an avenue and halfway for success and

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Speaker 1: and for a lot of people, they see it as

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Speaker 1: a way to get out of difficult situations that they've

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Speaker 1: been And so I get where there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: emotion wrapped up in the sport. I completely understand that,

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Speaker 1: and I think, um, it's really important to help athletes,

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Speaker 1: um understand and the mental side of the game. Right,

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Speaker 1: So physical skills, people work on that from the time

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Speaker 1: that they're three. Everybody focuses on teaching and developing the

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Speaker 1: physical aspects and the physical skills of the game. But

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Speaker 1: I think the mental skills and the mental part of

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Speaker 1: the game, which ends up being that edge that people

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Speaker 1: get that that separates good from great. Really sometimes it

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Speaker 1: is neglected, especially if you think about high school and younger.

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Speaker 1: So when I think about emotional control, I think about

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Speaker 1: how do we harness that passion and that energy that

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Speaker 1: you have. I don't want to take it away because

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Speaker 1: I think it's important to have that passion that's what

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Speaker 1: allows you to make that sacrifice and to keep that

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Speaker 1: determination and to continue grinding and working hard to perfect

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Speaker 1: one's craft. But I do think it's important to help

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Speaker 1: athletes in terms of thinking about channeling that passion, controlling themselves,

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Speaker 1: and making sure that they are channeling all their energies

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Speaker 1: in a way that helps their performance. So so be passionate,

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Speaker 1: also be smart with it. So with a lot of

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Speaker 1: my athletes, I talked about controlling what they can A

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Speaker 1: lot of times, if you think about basketball, there are

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Speaker 1: some things that are beyond their control. Right. The athletes

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Speaker 1: don't have an opportunity to control who the coaches put

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Speaker 1: in the games. They don't control the calls that the

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Speaker 1: rest make, they don't control what the fans might say.

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Speaker 1: So one of the things that we talked about when

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Speaker 1: we talk controlling emotions, focusing on what you actually can control,

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Speaker 1: and that's yourself. You can control what you think, you

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Speaker 1: can control what you do, You can control um how

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Speaker 1: you feel, and so helping athletes to stay present, present,

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Speaker 1: focus in in in what's happening now and what do

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Speaker 1: I need to do next? Right, because sometimes the emotionlessly

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Speaker 1: again of a bad call, has them focused on the

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Speaker 1: past and what just happened, and we got to keep

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Speaker 1: moving forward. So we'll do some relaxation and emotional control strategies.

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Speaker 1: Deep breathing with the technique that I often use with

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Speaker 1: athletes to help them kind of bring themselves down and

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Speaker 1: regulate their emotions and their arousal in the moment. You

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Speaker 1: can do it very quickly on the court. So once

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Speaker 1: they've learned how to to engage in deep breathing, that

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Speaker 1: can be a tool that they can use anywhere they

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Speaker 1: kind of regulate them bring them down so they can

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Speaker 1: then refocus. Um. I think self talk is also another

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Speaker 1: big strategy that I use. We constantly have chatter going

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Speaker 1: on in our minds, and so having an athlete to

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Speaker 1: be able to use that self talk in a constructive

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Speaker 1: way that if something happens on the court, if you

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Speaker 1: make a mistake, if if the other two team is

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Speaker 1: on a run, if the rest are making calls that

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Speaker 1: you don't agree with, whatever the case may be. In

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Speaker 1: yourself talk, you constantly focus on what it is that

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Speaker 1: you need to do next in order to give yourself

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Speaker 1: and your team the best opportunity to succeed in the

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Speaker 1: next play, and then in the next play, and then

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Speaker 1: in the next play and those if you do that,

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Speaker 1: focusing on right here in this moment, what do we

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Speaker 1: do to get this stop or to make this offensive

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Speaker 1: possession beneficial to get some points, then focusing on the moment,

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Speaker 1: and also then kind of stringing those moments together through

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Speaker 1: being being president UM, managing yourself couch, I'm using your

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Speaker 1: teammates um sometimes. You know, individual sports team sports are different.

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Speaker 1: But with team sports, I'll encourage people. If you feel

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Speaker 1: like you're getting frustrated at what's going on around you,

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Speaker 1: focus on encouraging your team because the only way you

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Speaker 1: all win is together. So I think the three things

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Speaker 1: that I do and I typically work with emotional control

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Speaker 1: and try to help athletes with that is self talk,

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Speaker 1: deep breathing UM to help them control the physical avioval um,

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Speaker 1: and also kind of team based communication, making sure that

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Speaker 1: they are communicating with their teams so that they can

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Speaker 1: all work together to keep themselves focused employs during difficult moments. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so it really sounds like, especially um with the some

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Speaker 1: of the self talk, you're really helping them to kind

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Speaker 1: of slow down, even though it may be a very

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Speaker 1: fast piece kind of environment that they're in. Yeah. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: like slow down and focus on what it is that

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Speaker 1: you need to do again, what can you control in

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Speaker 1: this moment? What action can you take next in order

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Speaker 1: to help bring about some success in that play? And

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Speaker 1: like I said, string those plays together and then you have, UM,

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Speaker 1: a performance that you're in control of where you're channeling

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Speaker 1: your energy to help your team be successful. Wonderful. So

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Speaker 1: what about UM, some of the issues related to kind

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Speaker 1: of going to college and not being the star anymore. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think the transition from high school to college is

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Speaker 1: really an interesting one because there's so much newness involved.

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Speaker 1: I mean, sure, you're still playing your sport, you're still

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Speaker 1: going from school to a different schools just harder classes,

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Speaker 1: more classes. UM. But but any time we're in a

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Speaker 1: transition and you have to let something that's familiar go

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Speaker 1: to grab something new, that can be challenging for anybody.

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Speaker 1: And so again to your point, how do they adjust

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Speaker 1: to having a new role? I think, quite frankly, it's

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Speaker 1: being honest about that UM and kind of proactively talking

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Speaker 1: to them about your role may change, you know, I

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Speaker 1: know there's UM recruiting efforts starts so early now. I

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Speaker 1: think it used to be recruits would only show up

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Speaker 1: at high school games, but now recruits show up even

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Speaker 1: at middle school games for college athletics, and so I

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Speaker 1: think in the recruiting process, kind of being very honest

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Speaker 1: with athletes about what you see in terms of the

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Speaker 1: talent and why you think they could be a great

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Speaker 1: addition to your team, but also very candidly talking about

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Speaker 1: how roles may shift, because even though she's no longer

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Speaker 1: to star, her role is very important. And so when

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Speaker 1: I have an opportunity to talk with athletes about that

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Speaker 1: that role that's changed, I try to stress that every

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Speaker 1: role on a team is like a pubgle piece, and

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Speaker 1: every piece of the puzzle is needed in order to

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Speaker 1: have a complete puzzle. And even if your puzzle piece

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Speaker 1: is not an edge or the main picture of the puzzle,

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Speaker 1: it's necessary for the public to be complete. So helping

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Speaker 1: them to understand that the role that they're in, whether

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Speaker 1: they're the main star, whether they are sitting on the bench,

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Speaker 1: whether they are even injured at the moment, is a

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Speaker 1: vital role to the team because it takes all parts

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Speaker 1: to work together. So I think, you know, one of

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Speaker 1: the things I do is trying to be very honest

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Speaker 1: when I'm working with people, and so Not only do

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Speaker 1: you talk about the reality of the role change, and

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Speaker 1: that's a part of it, but we also talk about

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Speaker 1: some of the loss that might go along with not

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Speaker 1: being the stuff anymore um and feeling like the role

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Speaker 1: that they had has now been diminished, because that's a

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Speaker 1: real feeling that they may have. And so talking through

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Speaker 1: that and talking about well, how is this new role

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Speaker 1: a challenge and an opportunity for you to grow rather

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Speaker 1: than looking at it as a demotion or looking at

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Speaker 1: it as something that's a setback to their career, how

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Speaker 1: can we look at this new opportunity with this new

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Speaker 1: role UM as being a chance to develop some new skills,

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Speaker 1: both physical and mental skills and even leadership skills that

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Speaker 1: will allow you to continue on your journey to success. Um.

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Speaker 1: I think people feel like success of the straight line,

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Speaker 1: and it's not that at all. There are a lot

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Speaker 1: of ebbs and flows, curves and ups and downs that

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Speaker 1: go along with the process of being successful and adapting

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Speaker 1: to a new role and and and navigating that successfully

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Speaker 1: can be a part of that journey. So kind of

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Speaker 1: empathize and offers and support around the loss of the

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Speaker 1: role that they had, but really focusing on the importance

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Speaker 1: of the role that they've been given and talking to

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Speaker 1: them about how they can thrive in this new assignment.

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Speaker 1: So setting goals become really important so that they have

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Speaker 1: something that they're focused on UM, that they're working for

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Speaker 1: that allows them to see their growth, so they can

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Speaker 1: check off when they've accomplished goals to see that even

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Speaker 1: though this is a role that they might not have

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Speaker 1: seen themselves being in, it's a role in which they

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Speaker 1: can grow looking at how that role impacts the overall

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Speaker 1: team's success and continuing to set goals for themselves that

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Speaker 1: helps them to develop. Because as in the movie, what

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Speaker 1: we see with Monica is she was on the bench,

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Speaker 1: but the starter got injured and she was called up.

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Speaker 1: And so I think the other thing to help athletes

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Speaker 1: understand when it comes to the different roles that they

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Speaker 1: play is even though you're in a different role, you

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Speaker 1: have to be ready and you want to be ready

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Speaker 1: when your name is called to step in and fulfill

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Speaker 1: whatever role is needed. And Monica was able to do that,

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Speaker 1: and so I think what we see in the movie

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Speaker 1: is not only her working hard at practice UM and

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Speaker 1: learning how to be a good support player and role

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Speaker 1: player from the bench but there's a scene where you

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Speaker 1: see her working in the gym by herself. Teams are

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Speaker 1: not there, which is not there, it's not a practice,

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Speaker 1: But clearly she has set a goal for herself to

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Speaker 1: develop her skills and to continue poning her craft so

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Speaker 1: that if and when her name is called and her

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Speaker 1: opportunity comes, she can step in and fulfill um a

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Speaker 1: more visible role similar to the one that she had

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Speaker 1: when she was in high school. So I think, you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you gotta stay ready, and you gotta embrace whatever role

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Speaker 1: you happen to be in and thrive there, because that's

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Speaker 1: what then becomes your stepping stone for getting new roles

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Speaker 1: that might be more similar to that star role that

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Speaker 1: you're used to have. Yeah, so that's when you would

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Speaker 1: have that saying, um, stay ready so you don't have

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Speaker 1: to get ready. Yeah, exactly, yes, ma'am, stay ready, right,

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Speaker 1: so when the name is called, you don't have to

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Speaker 1: wonder why they're calling. You can just step up and

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Speaker 1: say I'm here, put me in, coach. And that's what

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Speaker 1: she was able to do, you know, put me in

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Speaker 1: and she was Yeah, she was able to do that

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Speaker 1: and earn herself a starting position simply by working hard

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Speaker 1: in the role in which have been assigned. So something

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Speaker 1: that you didn't mention, um, when you talk about that

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Speaker 1: athletic identity piece, what an injury does to the athletic identity.

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Speaker 1: I can take that a couple of different ways. So

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Speaker 1: so I'll speak from what happens when the athlete gets injured,

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Speaker 1: and then I'll speak from what happens when there's something

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Speaker 1: going on in your personal life that may affect how

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Speaker 1: you're feeling and how that trips on to the court.

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Speaker 1: So um in general, when an athlete is injured, Uh,

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Speaker 1: depending on the severity of the injury, it can be

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Speaker 1: yes another blows of their athletic injury out of their

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Speaker 1: athletic identity. I'm sorry, because it takes them away from

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Speaker 1: the sports that they love. And on the college level,

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Speaker 1: it's such a competitive environment and so there's always be

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Speaker 1: concerned about playing time and and being healthy and the

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Speaker 1: opportunity to show what you actually can do. An injury

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Speaker 1: typically take you off the court. So if it's a

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Speaker 1: mile injury that allows you to come back quickly, then

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Speaker 1: you you know, athletes typically can bounce back from that

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Speaker 1: pretty easily. If it's a more um significant injury, that

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Speaker 1: keeps you away from the sport for a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 1: That too, can be a very hard adjustment for an

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Speaker 1: athlete to go from feeling like they're contributing to now

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Speaker 1: feeling like they're not even really a hard team. So again,

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Speaker 1: kind of being very real about those feelings and the

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Speaker 1: loss that may be associated with kind of navigating that injury.

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Speaker 1: But one of the things I do when I like

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Speaker 1: with my athletes who are injured is talk to them

436
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 1: about your rehab is now your training process. So again,

437
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,639
Speaker 1: I always try to keep it in the context of

438
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 1: you are still an important puzzle piece and we still

439
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 1: need you to do everything you can do UM to

440
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 1: get healthy and to get back into the role um

441
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: that the team needs you to be in, or the

442
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:44,400
Speaker 1: role that you have before. So UM, it becomes very

443
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,679
Speaker 1: important to follow through with all the recommendations of the

444
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 1: medical professionals and to do the rehab with the same rigor,

445
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 1: intensity and passion that you have done any other training UM,

446
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 1: helping them to understand the injury if it's not career

447
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 1: ending again, but that out sidebar injury is generally temporary,

448
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,719
Speaker 1: and so working hard this is a temporary state that

449
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: you're in let's help you work really hard so you

450
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 1: can get back on the court doing what you love. Um. So,

451
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 1: injury is a part of sport um and so normalizing

452
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: injury I think is also a big thing to do

453
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 1: for athletes because sometimes they haven't really experienced a major

454
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 1: injury until they get to to college, if they experience

455
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,199
Speaker 1: one at all. Um and again, it's just really important

456
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 1: to normal life that's a sport process. This is one

457
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 1: of those setbacks that you that's unexpected. But we can

458
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 1: overcome this as well. With the same grid, drive and

459
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,679
Speaker 1: determination that you use to become successful, you can be

460
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 1: successful in coming back from your injury. So and then

461
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 1: helping them build with some of the uh anxiety that

462
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 1: they may experience with return the competition is also something

463
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 1: that we would talk about with injured athletes because sometimes

464
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,120
Speaker 1: there's the fear of being re injured when they come back,

465
00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:00,040
Speaker 1: and so managing those feelings as these are parents to

466
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: return to sport is another big part of the work

467
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,919
Speaker 1: that I do with injured athletes. And again, depending on

468
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 1: the severity of the injury, that level of anxiety could

469
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 1: be lower or higher. It depends on the individual and

470
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,199
Speaker 1: what they're going through. But those are some of the

471
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 1: common things that I see when working with those who

472
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,159
Speaker 1: are injured. And I've worked with injured athletes who are

473
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 1: able to come back and thrive even better than they

474
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: were prior to the injury. So certainly that does not

475
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 1: have to be the period on anybody's sports story. Um.

476
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's more of a semicolon. But helping them navigate

477
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,880
Speaker 1: that pause, do what they need to do in terms

478
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: that we have and getting back, it's certainly something that

479
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:39,640
Speaker 1: that can be done and that can be navigated very well. Um.

480
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,439
Speaker 1: Now to the other point, because I said earlier, I

481
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: like to when I work with athletes, working up from

482
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: a holistic perspective. So, yes, they are an athletes, but

483
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 1: they're also a person. And I think throughout Monica stories

484
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 1: in the movie, we see different things going on and

485
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: he personal life as well to your part about the

486
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 1: injury and and her boyfriend getting injured and the this

487
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: is in the third quarter of the movie when she's

488
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: in college. They both happen to go to the same college.

489
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 1: But one thing we see is while her her athletics

490
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: are is rising in college, his is going down. There's

491
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 1: some sames happening in his personal life UM that are

492
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,920
Speaker 1: really shaking him to the core and really challenging him,

493
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 1: and in her effort to try to be a support

494
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 1: system for for him, she has to make a decision

495
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 1: between pursuing her dreams, following through with kirfew rules that

496
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: the coaches put in place, are being a support for him.

497
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times athletes have to

498
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,679
Speaker 1: figure out a way to balance and integrate the demands

499
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,640
Speaker 1: of their personal life and the demands of their sport life.

500
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: And so I think that too could be another reason

501
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 1: that might prompt somebody to seek services UM. Anything that

502
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 1: that UM happens in the family issues, relationship concerns, UM,

503
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: academic issues, any of that has the potential to impact

504
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: an athlete performance, and so offering them support around life issues,

505
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,479
Speaker 1: in my mind, is a performance enhancement technique just as

506
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 1: much as teaching them goal setting herself talk. So with

507
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: Monitor's case, I think, in addition to have been a

508
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: really good example of of you know, the person and

509
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 1: the athlete of a person, kind of both of those together,

510
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 1: I think she's also a really good example of someone

511
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 1: who doesn't necessarily appear to be in any distress. And

512
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: I don't think there's any point where she really is

513
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 1: in any distress. But mental health is a continuum, and

514
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,199
Speaker 1: you don't always have to be in significant distress in

515
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: order to receive and seek support. So a lot of

516
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,159
Speaker 1: the times in which I think Monica could have received support,

517
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: it really just would have been to get support for

518
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 1: what she was going through and also to help her surlive. Right,

519
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: So I think she was on that coping to thriving

520
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 1: in of the mental health continuum, and I think seeing

521
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: somebody just could have helped her to feel like she

522
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 1: had an outlet for things that might have been stressful.

523
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 1: That again, given having an outlet breeze people up to

524
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 1: then go and perform and do what they do well,

525
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 1: regardless of the venue. So um, I think that's one

526
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 1: of the things that could have been helpful as well

527
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 1: for her. It is just to seek support as she

528
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: is navigating life as a young young adult kind of

529
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,159
Speaker 1: trying to figure out who she is and trying to

530
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: pursue her dreams. Support is hopeful for anybody at any time.

531
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be only in times of major

532
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 1: insignificant distress. Yes, thank you so much for sharing that

533
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: kinds of because I do think we often think that

534
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: only in times of christis this ship we reach out

535
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: for therapy, when, like you mentioned, we could be having

536
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,479
Speaker 1: much more optimal lives if we actually reached out, you know,

537
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 1: when things were just a little bit not okay, or

538
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 1: we just wanted to thrive in a particular area, right,

539
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 1: or when it just when we're just overwhelmed, right, Like

540
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,360
Speaker 1: I have things going on it for Monica, she had

541
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 1: things going on that school, things going on in the family.

542
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: I mean, there was some family dynamics that they portrayed

543
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: in the movie in terms of her relationship with her mom. Again,

544
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 1: not thing was was bad, It just feel like that

545
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: she didn't think that her mom understood her, right. Her

546
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: mom was portrayed as this very demure, um prim and

547
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:13,479
Speaker 1: proper Southern woman, and here's Monica, this tom boy who

548
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 1: would much rather be out playing basketball than doing anything

549
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: domestic at all. And I think there were many times

550
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 1: in the movie where she just feel like her mom

551
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: didn't understand who she was as a person, and she

552
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: didn't necessarily feel supported by her mom and her support

553
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: And that comes out in the conversation that they had

554
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,239
Speaker 1: later in the movie as well. And so um, if

555
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 1: She's struggling with those feelings of knowing her mom loves her,

556
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: cares about her, is constantly there, but still not feeling

557
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: that Mom supports her in this part of her identity

558
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: as much as she would like. Just having someone to

559
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: talk about that with could be very helpful. Again, not

560
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: to say that it's extremely problematic, but just voicing her concerns,

561
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: her feelings, her thoughts about it. Having someone validates um

562
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: her experience could be a very helpful thing to continue

563
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 1: to allow her to manage all the responsibilities that she

564
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: has and keep moving forward and thrive. Yes. Absolutely, m hm.

565
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: So what kinds of tips or things might you be

566
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: able to offer to our audience for people who may

567
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: be struggling with like similar kinds of things? I mean,

568
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 1: you definitely already offered a lot um. I think a

569
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: lot of what you've already shared could be applicable to

570
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 1: any kind of situation. But are there other tips and

571
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: strategies that you work with your athletes on that you

572
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: feel like even non athletes could benefit from. Yeah? So,

573
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 1: I mean the first thing is, I think it's very

574
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 1: courageous to ask for help, right, So, in the world

575
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: of athletics, UM asking for help is often seeing as

576
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: a sign of weakness. I mean, that's just kind of

577
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: a part of the belief system that goes along with

578
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 1: the sport culture. UM. I think we're seeing some of

579
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 1: that start to shift a little bit, and I'm really

580
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 1: glad about that. UM. But I do think that historically

581
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 1: is this idea of no pain, no gain, all this

582
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: wrong survived survival of the fit is like all of

583
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: these cliches and slogans that we have that communicate this

584
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 1: message of you should be able to handle everything on

585
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: your own, by yourself and and do it successfully. Really, um,

586
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 1: it's not helpful, um, just for people who are trying

587
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 1: to navigate this unpredictable journey called life. So I think

588
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: the first thing is asking for help is a courageous thing, um.

589
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: And so don't be afraid to ask for helping you

590
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: need it. I think that's the first thing I think.

591
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 1: But as I think about performance enhancement and and that's

592
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: kind of what the world of sports psychology is, I

593
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: think anybody could benefit from engaging in and and really

594
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 1: working on things like goal settings. Be very clear about

595
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: what you want in life and how you want to

596
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 1: get there, like creating a plan I'll even say for

597
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 1: myself when I graduated from when I completed my doctoral programs,

598
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: my goal was find a job, and and I found

599
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: my job once I finished my doctoral program, and then

600
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: I didn't have any other goals after that. I mean,

601
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: I was kind of like, find a job and then

602
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: you'll be set. Um. But even as I look back

603
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: and reflect, even at that point in my life, finding

604
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: a job was great, and I'm very glad I landed

605
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: one and Accountflant Center, which is where I wanted to be.

606
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: But I don't think you should ever stop dreaming. I

607
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: still should have been thinking about what do I want

608
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: like to look like in the next year, in the

609
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: next two years, in the next five years. And even

610
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 1: if for me that had been working at the same

611
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: place doing similar things that I was doing, that's fine.

612
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 1: But I think having a goal keeps us directed and

613
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: keeps us focused on where we're trying to go. It

614
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: helps to promote our growth because when we're when we're

615
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: working towards something that gives us motivation, that feels our passion,

616
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 1: that gives us purpose. And so setting goals I think

617
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: is good positive self talk and trying to figure out

618
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 1: a way um and I say that intentionally because I

619
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 1: think it's it's different for different people how they figure

620
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: out how to do this, but finding out a way

621
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: to to quiet that inner critics and to enhance your

622
00:31:55,480 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: inner cheerleader or your inner advocate is huge. UM. I'm

623
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: a quote person, so I have quotes in my office

624
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: that I will actually give to clients. If we're talking

625
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 1: about something and I feel like a particular quote speaks

626
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 1: to what we've discussed that day, or I think it

627
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 1: really applies to their situation, I will absolutely give them

628
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 1: a copy of that quote on their way out the door.

629
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 1: Because I don't think we always have to come up

630
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 1: with the positive words ourselves, but surrounding ourselves that positive

631
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 1: environment can go a long way towards us managing that

632
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: internal critic that we all have. So quote journaling. I'm

633
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: a big fan of journaling because I really do think

634
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: that that is one of those things that provides an

635
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: outlet for people. UM. And when I say journaling, it

636
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be the traditional you know, sit down

637
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: and write a narrative, UM online paper. It can be

638
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: UM an artistic journalist. You're an artist, get you a

639
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 1: sketch book and just draw. But give yourself an opportunity

640
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: to have an outlet, an outlet that you can have

641
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: that's just to you, where you can express not only

642
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,240
Speaker 1: challenges and stresses that you may be going through, but

643
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 1: that you can also express good things that have happened.

644
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 1: I'm a fan of gratitude journals, or at least taking

645
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 1: note of the things that you're grateful for. I think

646
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: focusing on those things sometimes helps to balance out the

647
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: stresses and the challenges that we may sometimes be consumed with.

648
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: So setting some goals UM, engaging in positive self talk,

649
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: and developing strategies to help you kind of keep that

650
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,479
Speaker 1: critic at bay, developing your internal advocate as of how

651
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: I like to describe it UM, and then mindfulness techniques.

652
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 1: I'll be completely honest. Mindfulness and relaxation is extremely hard

653
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: for me to do UM, but I think it's one

654
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: of the skills that, if practiced and cultivated, really helps

655
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,240
Speaker 1: to make a difference in people's lives because it gets

656
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: some focus on the here and now, and as I've

657
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 1: talked about as it relates to sport, and as it

658
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: relates to emotional control when I was talking about Monica earlier, UM,

659
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: life happens in the here and now, and so many times,

660
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 1: especially for my athletes, they're either focused on something that

661
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: happened in the past, some mistake, some error, some glitch

662
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: that occurred in their performance, or they're so focused on

663
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: the outcome what's coming in the future and they have

664
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,919
Speaker 1: to get this win or they have to to reach

665
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 1: this hallmark achievement, whatever the case may be, that they

666
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: miss out on the present and the present moment is

667
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: where you have your control. So teaching them strategies to

668
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,800
Speaker 1: help them stay focused on the present moment so that

669
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 1: they can control and create the life that they want

670
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: rather than worrying about the fears life that they don't want,

671
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 1: I think really becomes important as well. UM. Those are

672
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 1: probably the read strategies that I use most often with people. UM,

673
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: goal setting, self talk, UM, and that was kind of

674
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: mindfulness stay strategies to help them stay focused on the

675
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: present moment. UM. Another UM issue I would say that

676
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 1: comes up a lot is perfectionism. And I think with

677
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 1: perfectionism we certainly see some negative and when we think

678
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 1: about athletes, UM, you have to have a certain level

679
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 1: of of obsessiveness and a certain level and a certain

680
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: desire to to reach perfection, I think in order to

681
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 1: excel really in anything. And so I know that that's

682
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: going to be present in my athletes. But what I

683
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: stressed for them is instead of striving for perfection, less

684
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 1: drive for excellence, because perfection is something that doesn't really exist.

685
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: We've heard this time and time again, nobody's perfect. I

686
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: ask them, do you know an athlete in your sport

687
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 1: that's perfect? I would have asked, Monica, do you know

688
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 1: an athlete anywhere in your sport that's perfect? You know?

689
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 1: And in the first the second quarter of life, she

690
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 1: missed the game winning shots, right, So that was very

691
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:40,439
Speaker 1: devastating for her. I mean she went to the bench,

692
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,879
Speaker 1: sat down and immediately started ex spying. You could tell

693
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 1: that that was impactful for her. She missed her moments right,

694
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: the moment to win the championship for her team, and

695
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 1: she blew it um. And so I think there's this

696
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,879
Speaker 1: idea that that she's gonna make every shot, she's gonna

697
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: hit all those game winners. She's going to bias to

698
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: the occasion everything time, and that's just not how life happens,

699
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 1: certainly not how sport happens. So I think focusing on

700
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: excellence and making sure that you're doing the best you

701
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 1: can with what you have in every given situation or

702
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: in a majority of situations. Really because the focus because

703
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 1: everybody can achieve a level of excellence, and that excellence

704
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 1: can exist independent of what anybody else is doing. UM.

705
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: And so having them again through setting their goals, UM,

706
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: managing their self talk and and and encouraging themselves and

707
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:38,280
Speaker 1: defining what excellence looks like for them becomes really important

708
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: in managing those perspectionistic tendencies. Understanding that failure is a

709
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: part of the process. So so a part of excellence

710
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:50,320
Speaker 1: includes learning how to fail, learning how to deal with

711
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 1: disappointments and set back, learning how to get up and

712
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 1: sail forward if you will, UM, so that they can

713
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 1: grow from those experiences, learn from them, and use them

714
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:05,240
Speaker 1: to continue on their journey towards success. Wilkins, you dropped

715
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 1: some real gems in there. I feel like I'm all

716
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: over the place, but like I just, you know, I

717
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 1: don't know, it's it's UM. I'm really passionate about working

718
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 1: with the athletic population because I also think there's a

719
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 1: misconception that the athletes kind of have it all right. UM.

720
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,760
Speaker 1: I've had the fortune the good fortune and the blessing,

721
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 1: I should say, of being able to work with athletes

722
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: and a number of different levels, from high school to

723
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: college to Olympic hopeful to professional ranks, um and. And

724
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 1: it's interesting because they are in this public um domain,

725
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: and there's so much scrutiny and so much attention and

726
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: so much evaluation and so much criticism and opinion that's

727
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 1: kind of put on them from everybody else, you know,

728
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 1: And and at the end of the day, what we're

729
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: talking about is people, people who have ups and downs,

730
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: people who have challenges, people who are trying to live life,

731
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 1: people who are trying to pursue their dreams, um and,

732
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 1: people who need support and need assistance just like anybody else.

733
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: And so um, I think Monica's She Really is a

734
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 1: good example of how somebody manage their personal life and

735
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: and their their sports, like their their life as an

736
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,439
Speaker 1: athlete really really well. Um I think She the movie

737
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,359
Speaker 1: depicts her doing a really good job of balance and both.

738
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: But I think it's important to remember that at the

739
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 1: end of the day, there are people too, Especially when

740
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: I think about professional athletes, and you know, we often think, well,

741
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 1: they have money, they have opportunity, they have access to

742
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: repor through what problems? Could they possibly have the same

743
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: problems as anybody else UM, but but even sometimes more

744
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 1: problems because their money sometimes and their status and their

745
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 1: visibility UM can create this uh distorted perception of who

746
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: they are so that it becomes hard for them to

747
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,280
Speaker 1: just be people because people see them as this image,

748
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 1: this entity. And so from me, it's important to humanize

749
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: the athletes UM And I tell them everyone I work with,

750
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 1: I am invested and I am interested in you as

751
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:13,320
Speaker 1: a person who plays your sport will get to the performer.

752
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 1: I need to know who you are as a person first,

753
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: because that's who I'm working with. Whether we're talking about

754
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 1: the four issues, whether we're talking about family issues, whether

755
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: we're talking about retirement from four issues, whatever, you are

756
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 1: a person first, and that's who I'm working with. Yeah,

757
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 1: and as you're talking cancer, I can't imagine that. You know,

758
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 1: if an athlete is working with you, you may be

759
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:38,399
Speaker 1: one a few, if not the only person UM who

760
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 1: exists in this in this athletes life, who like they

761
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: can maybe take off some of those masks with and

762
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 1: you know, really be honest about some stuff that you

763
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 1: know because of this public perception they may not be

764
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 1: able to share anywhere else. That's exactly right. UM. I mean,

765
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: I've had athletes at times tell me that they're sharing

766
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 1: things with me that they've never said to anyone UM,

767
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: and I've I take that as a huge responsibility. It's

768
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,400
Speaker 1: a it's a it's a privilege and an honor period,

769
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 1: regardless athlete or not. For me, I think it's a

770
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 1: privilege and an honor to be able to be invited

771
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,399
Speaker 1: to step into somebody's world and to try to help

772
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: them to walk to any degree in their life journeys.

773
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,800
Speaker 1: That So being a therast therapist to me so like

774
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: a tremendous privilege and honor. But certainly to be charged

775
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 1: with the responsibility of holding things that they may not

776
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: have shared with anyone, I think that's important. And I

777
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: think it's important as therapist practitioners, countless clinicians for us

778
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 1: to take care of that, um and to to really

779
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: hold that and to value that because that's a rare

780
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: and unique gift that they're giving. And so I think

781
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 1: it's it's the least that I we can do is

782
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,359
Speaker 1: to try to give back to them and to help them,

783
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 1: to allow them to take off that mask UM and

784
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: to help them UM and in managing whatever it is

785
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: they're dealing with and so that they can get to

786
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 1: that point of thriving and and being okay and being okay. Yes, yes,

787
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 1: So do you have any resources or UM like books, podcasts, blogs,

788
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 1: articles that you really enjoy that you think UM our

789
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:22,359
Speaker 1: audience might enjoy checking out? UM. So I think I've

790
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 1: talked about positive self talking and silence to that and

791
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,800
Speaker 1: a critical lot and so a podcast that I really like,

792
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: it's called The School of Greatness UM. Another podcast that

793
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 1: I really enjoy it is called a Good Life Project UM.

794
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 1: A book that I try to read at least once

795
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 1: a year. It's called The Four Agreements UM by Don

796
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 1: Miguel Ruise UM, and I think it's just his book

797
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: just provides a really good reminder UM. And those four

798
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 1: agreements are being tepcable with your word, UM, don't take

799
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: it personally, don't make assumptions, and always do your best.

800
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: And I think that's a recipe for living a life

801
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: that's within your control UM and maximizing UM, your skills,

802
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: your strength so that you can pursue excellent That's that's

803
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 1: kind of how I feel like those four agreements in

804
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 1: some what they what they communicate, the overall message that

805
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 1: they communicate. UM. In terms of books, another book, a

806
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,839
Speaker 1: sports specific book that I really like, is called Mind Jim.

807
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: Very short chapters, but each chapter talks about a different

808
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,919
Speaker 1: part of the mental game. UM, and give some quick

809
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: nuggets and quick tips on things that you can do

810
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: to develop certain aspects of the mental side of your

811
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: performance or the mental side of who you are. UM.

812
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 1: Those are those are some of my go toes off

813
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 1: the top of my head that I can think of.

814
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: Greed and please tell people where we can find you online. Yeah,

815
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: so my website is www dot dr Kansas so d

816
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 1: r K e n s A dot com UM and

817
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 1: you can find out information about me there and how

818
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 1: to contact me UM. That information is included on the

819
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 1: page as well. On Twitter, my handle is at dr

820
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: Kensa again d r K and s A perfect And

821
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 1: all of this information, including the resources, will be shared

822
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: in the show note so everybody can easily access that

823
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: perfect All right, KINDSA, Well, thank you so much for

824
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: sharing all this knowledge with us today. I really appreciate it.

825
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: Where you're so welcome. Thank you for the opportunity. I

826
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 1: hope it was helpful, UM, and and kudos to you

827
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 1: for even having this platform. I really think it's outstanding, UM,

828
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 1: to have the opportunity to to just share a kind

829
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 1: of what we do and and and to offer this

830
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: information and this the things that we know, the things

831
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 1: that we've learned. I appreciate you allowing this platform and

832
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 1: the space for us to share. So thank you, absolutely,

833
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 1: thank you. So if you haven't watched Love in Basketball,

834
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: I know that listening to this episode will definitely make

835
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 1: you want to go and check it out. Or if

836
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: you haven't seen it in a while, then you'll definitely

837
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:09,359
Speaker 1: want to revisit it. All of the information that Dr

838
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 1: Gunter shared is included in the show notes. You can

839
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 1: find that at Therapy for Black Girls dot com backslash

840
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: Session twenty and as always, we love to hear your

841
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 1: thoughts about the episode on social media. Make sure to

842
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:26,359
Speaker 1: use the hashtag tv G in session. You can find

843
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 1: us on Twitter at Therapy for the Number four be Girls,

844
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 1: and you can find us on Instagram and Facebook at

845
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls. And make sure to share this

846
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 1: episode with a friend who you think would be interested.

847
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: We love to have them join the party. I'm looking

848
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,319
Speaker 1: forward to continue in this conversation with you all real

849
00:44:44,480 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 1: soon take get care. I doctor doctor, I actor doctor

850
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 1: doctor doctor