WEBVTT - Liz Phair 0:00:02.120 --> 0:00:04.040 I got such an angry letter from a Liz Fir 0:00:04.120 --> 0:00:07.800 fan when you so kindly came and did backing. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:10.400 Vocals on So What one of my songs. 0:00:10.440 --> 0:00:12.120 One asked me to dance, and I got a letter 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:15.440 from a person going, don't advertise Liz Fair unless she's 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:18.200 going to actually be able to be heard in the mix. 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:20.959 How dare you mix her down? How dare she be 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:22.040 a backing vocalist? 0:00:22.160 --> 0:00:25.000 How dare you, Mini Driver, use Liz Fair as you 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:26.800 have used you use her own? 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:31.400 Oh God, and so you had on the other country. 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:32.440 I moved to England. 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:38.760 Hello, I'm Mini Driver. I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:43.000 was originally in nineteenth century parlor game, where players would 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:46.360 ask each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing the 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:50.280 other player's true nature. In asking different people the same 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:53.800 set of questions, you can make observations about which truths 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:54.920 appear to be universal. 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:57.960 And it made me wonder, what if these questions were 0:00:58.000 --> 0:00:58.880 just the jumping. 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:01.560 Off point, what great day would be revealed if I 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:05.959 asked these questions as conversation starters. So I adapted Pru's 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:08.680 questionnaire and I wrote my own seven questions that I 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:11.080 personally think are pertinent to a person's story. 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:14.480 They are when and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:18.000 the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:20.039 or fictionalized, defines. 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:20.160 Love for you? 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:24.319 What question would you most like answered? What person, place, 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:27.319 or experience has shaped you the most? What would be 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.959 your last meal? And can you tell me something in 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.600 your life that's grown out of a personal disaster? 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:34.960 And I've gathered a group. 0:01:34.920 --> 0:01:39.240 Of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:42.000 humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.240 may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:48.840 We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:53.160 their experience or the most surprising, or created the most 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:59.120 fertile ground to connect. My guest today on many questions 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.120 is the recording artist Liz Fair. 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:04.680 Liz is a unicorn. 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:07.640 By that, I don't mean that she's mythic, because she's 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:08.840 one of the realist people I know. 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:12.200 But she is rare and she carved out. 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:15.600 Space for herself where she roamed wild and free, and 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:19.680 from what I can tell, still does. Liz was an 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:23.120 iconic force right out of the gate. From initial recordings 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:25.880 under the Girly Sounds banner. She was then signed and 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:28.840 she released her first album, Exile in Guyville, in nineteen 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:32.400 ninety three. And girls just weren't singing and writing the 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:36.720 songs I heard on that record. They were honest and factual, 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:40.360 blunt and sexual. I just thought she was the coolest 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:43.280 kind of feminist, and she still is. She and I 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:47.560 share a similar sort of doomish wisdom, where we think 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:50.040 everything good comes out of some kind of dead end, 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:55.359 constantly reimagining artistry and continuing to explore life outside the box. 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:59.400 I am thrilled that my good friend Liz agreed to 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:01.960 come on the show today. 0:03:05.639 --> 0:03:08.880 So, Liz Fair, where and when were you happiest? 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:13.240 This is a dull answer, but it's when I'm on 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:16.640 vacation with friends and family. I love the feeling of 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:20.560 being suspended. I have a lot of trouble with rules 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:24.920 in society, although I'm also someone that appreciates order, so 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:28.600 it's a contradiction in me. But I really love taking 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:33.840 everyone I love out of context and being away where 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:37.120 you're outside of your norms, you're outside of your roles, 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:41.120 and you're together somewhere, and I feel a sense of 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:43.760 freedom there. And I don't think I ever feel more 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:47.880 like myself than when I'm on vacation, you know what 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:51.000 I mean, Like you just strip off all of society 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:53.280 and it just feels so good. So I think I'm 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:57.320 happiest and freest when I'm outside of the roles that 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:58.760 we're given, that we're scripted. 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:02.480 That's pretty wild given that you like the bell Weather 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:07.440 rock and roller creating her own reality literally a one 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.240 woman show band, Like how does that fit in? 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:10.520 Like what? 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:12.120 Because it's so funny the way that you made it 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:14.800 sounds like it's kind of corporate the world that. 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:15.840 You're escaping from. 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:19.080 You know, all these rules and regulations, like when you're 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:20.200 on the stage. 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:25.560 To do with your monitors down? What is it? 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:28.839 No, it makes sense, it's all of it. If I'd 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:30.880 come up now, maybe it would have been. But I 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.279 feel like when I came up in the music business, 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:37.240 every step was convincing someone that I could do it, 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:40.159 or just taking the step and then they're like, what 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:41.880 are you doing? You took a step? What did you 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:45.960 take a step for? I'm walking here, I'm walking, you know, 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:50.120 And so like every step along the way felt like 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:57.000 a bravery test. Wow, you know, like a fight for 0:04:57.080 --> 0:05:01.640 the right to be an art I know it sounds stupid, 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:02.920 but that's how I feel now. 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:05.279 It doesn't sound stupid at all. It doesn't sound stupid 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:05.640 at all. 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:09.400 The people that cut the path through the field, who 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:12.640 are up front with the machete so that everybody else 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:15.280 can travel down that pathway. Like I always feel like 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.760 you were one of those women. Thank you, I did that, 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:20.719 So no wonder you're tired and you want a bloody holiday. 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:30.520 And that's why right. 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:32.479 Down you're always on alert for the tigers. You know, 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:34.400 you don't know what you're cutting into. And a lot 0:05:34.400 --> 0:05:37.719 of times I know that in my career I've ruffled feathers. 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:41.839 Look my poor fans, are you know, haranguing you because 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:45.479 I haven't been positioned right? They also harangue me, you know, 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:47.560 if I haven't positioned myself correctly. 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:50.880 So can I just tell you that it's so crazy 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.919 because like hearing you say that, like it makes me 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:57.239 want to punch something. The idea of like being positioned 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:58.160 right because for me. 0:05:58.360 --> 0:05:59.960 You are. I can't. 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:05.599 It's important for all these female artists. If you hadn't 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.840 done that, they wouldn't exist. So but it's interesting that 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.840 you the way that you feel that you weren't positioned right. 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:16.119 I think you were positioned incredibly Like in my heart 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:18.520 and in so many millions of people's hearts, you are. 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:22.039 But I understand that of sort of hitting a wall 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:24.520 and going wow, they don't they don't get where I 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:25.760 want to take this next. 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:28.880 Well, you went into music, and you wrote a book, 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:30.760 a beautiful book, a beautiful memoir. 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:32.320 I've got to keep making. 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.440 All of those things are things that no one gave 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:37.880 you permission to do. You just said, this is what's 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.000 in me, and this is what I'm going to do next. 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:43.960 And I would imagine some of your agents were a 0:06:44.000 --> 0:06:46.640 little bit surprised at your musical detour. 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:51.280 Possibly, yeah, I mean they definitely were like, well, that's 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:54.279 it for you, love, If you're going to move to 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:58.880 Hawaii just like lat music, goodbye, good bye. 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:01.200 No one will remember you when you come back. 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:04.680 And largely they were sort of right, but I think 0:07:04.680 --> 0:07:09.120 theyde underestimated how much women are used to having to 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:12.920 insist on their space at the table, even if you've 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:15.960 left the table briefly for whatever your reasons are, mental health, 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:19.080 your soul, have a child, the fact that we can't 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:20.800 come back and go yeah, I'm going to sit back 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:21.880 down now. 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:24.040 Which is interesting. And you talk about roles. I mean, 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:26.880 until I moved to Hollywood, until I knew artists like you, 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:33.120 I didn't realize that acting was just another facet of 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:38.360 their artistry, That everyone who's an actor is also an artist. Yeah, 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:40.920 and so there's so much more to them that, you know, 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:43.960 Hollywood doesn't have a use for just do that acting thing, 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:50.040 look more beautiful, keep acting these people, these large souls 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:52.400 getting put into small roles. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.240 Yeah, or if you fall into the trip, the implied 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:59.120 insistence on youth and beauty, and that if you don't 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:02.880 subscribe to that and end up looking this weird, homogenized 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:06.200 way that a lot of women look now from having 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.400 bowed to that pressure, it doesn't work then either, because 0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:13.240 then in a way you're then punished for having given in. 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:15.400 You've made yourself replaceable. 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.760 Yeah, but I mean, you know, I feel like a 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:21.320 lot of people have felt that way about women aging anyway, 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.080 But I don't see women doing that. I see people 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:26.480 writing off ads about women doing that, But no one 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:29.080 I know does that. No woman I know over the 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:32.320 age of fifty is invisible. They are the vibrant, most 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:33.840 powerful versions of themselves. 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:37.120 I know, I don't understand that. It's almost like fear mongering. 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:39.440 I'll always look up from an article. I'll be like, 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:40.679 do I I don't feel in. 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:43.280 If they shout more at the articles that I read 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:47.920 about you know, women and aging and what it means 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:51.640 and aren't you worried about this? No, you're worried about it. 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:54.280 You're just getting the clickbait. And I suppose I did 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:55.439 click on it to read it. 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:58.080 Well, you always want to know what are they saying. 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:00.840 There is a sense of our people to talking about this. 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:04.920 But I mean I watched my grandmother remarried twice after 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:07.040 the age of seventy. So I watched her date. 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:10.960 I love that. Did she have a great time doing it? 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:14.360 She did? And there was one that she became like 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:17.480 a teenager giggly at the tate. We're like, what's up 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:21.800 with winky? Look at her? She's like like, you know, 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.080 like this laugh. This personality comes out of your grandmother 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:28.040 that you've never seen before. So I think I had 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:30.520 a good role model in the sense that it ain't 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:34.240 over until it's over, and it's such a brief life anyway, 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.320 you know, why on earth are you limiting yourself in 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:41.480 these seventy two hundred years in any way, shape or form. 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:44.440 Yeah, because you see it reflected back in the media, 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:47.040 and it's it's only like that if you say it 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:49.400 is like, the more I've thought about it, the more 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:53.040 I genuinely believe there is only the meaning that we 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:55.720 assign in this world, and it's what lives in the 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:58.440 same space. For me is you get what you say, 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:01.640 You get what you say you worth. I think you 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.440 have to tell the story that you want to live. 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:06.760 You really do that activity. 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.400 I have a great metaphor for this. At one point 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.120 in two thousand and three, two thousand and four, there 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:15.520 was a lot of money being poured into promoting me, 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:18.840 so I was everywhere I was like under Capitol Records, 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:23.440 and I was very visible, and so everywhere I went 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:26.839 there's this tension of if people recognized you. But I 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:31.080 realized something at my own shows that if I needed 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:33.960 to leave the venue or go meet someone and there's 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:38.199 a line of people outside my show waiting to see me, 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:41.839 if I walk like it's no big deal, Like I'm 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:46.360 just super casually walking back, nobody recognizes me. I can 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:50.040 walk past my own line casually strong. But if I 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.280 have like people around me that're like, okay, we got 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:55.560 to get her out of here, everybody notices. So I'm 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:59.240 literally creating my own reality by how I'm carrying myself 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:03.160 and how I see that situation, and it stuck with me. 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.960 How you carry yourself to a large degree does shape 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:11.280 how you experience it and what that means to you 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:16.360 later on, and how that sticks with you. So if 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.000 you want to be invisible as a woman, you can 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:23.000 carry yourself invisibly, or you can carry yourself loudly. 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:25.280 Yeah, it's one of the things that bothers me most 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:27.680 about the way in which middle aged women they speak 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:28.880 about this invisibility. 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:30.199 I bought into it. 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.040 I was like, oh, yeah, that does happen, doesn't it. 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:34.360 And I was like, no, it doesn't. I remember calling 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:38.200 my mother really sad, one like genuinely profoundly depressed, and going, 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:39.600 I'm so sad. 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:41.600 I don't know what to do. What do I do? 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:45.240 And she was like, oh, put on some lipstick, be seen, 0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:49.280 put your face on, act like it isn't what you 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:53.160 are saying is act like that and see what happens. 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:56.120 I remember being so annoyed with her put on. 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:59.720 Fucking red lipstick to act like I'm happy when I'm sad. 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:03.000 It was completely right, though when they say it visible, 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:05.400 what they're really just saying is men are not going 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.120 to try to run you down and conquer that for 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:08.839 such that is. 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.120 That is exactly that is exactly right. 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:13.560 But I don't want to be run down and conquered 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:14.320 for sex anymore. 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:17.240 So enough of that. Oh I'm sick of it. I'll 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:24.680 tell you what I've been I've been run over it anymore. Frankly, 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:25.600 it's you're right. 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:29.640 It is to do with a woman's worth being enforced 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:33.640 and tethered to this idea of desirability. 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.160 For sex specifically whatever. 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:37.640 Man, If that's really what it comes down to, just 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:41.000 like where you want to go and have sex. 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:42.800 Allow me to be invisible. 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.040 Let me maintain my invisibility, and I'll get on and 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:49.800 do all the really interesting shit that doesn't involve, you know, 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:52.120 ten minutes of sex with you. 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.679 Oh my god, thank you for putting such a fine 0:12:57.760 --> 0:12:58.480 point on that. 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:06.360 And now we can I'll tell you my visibility over 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:07.640 a swift turn with you. 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:08.480 Love. 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:15.480 The articles never explained that part of it. 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:19.800 They never do. What is it we're going to be 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:27.240 seen by a swift ten minutes. I don't, I really don't. 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:29.760 I don't go and google Sally Rooney and see what 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:32.160 she's writing next. Thank you off? 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:53.679 Oh God, what relationship, real or fictionalized? 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:55.800 Defind love for you? 0:13:57.640 --> 0:13:58.280 Okay? 0:13:58.640 --> 0:13:58.960 Tell me. 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.360 I never knew this. In my twenties and thirties, how 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:07.880 I felt in relationships was of paramount importance, and it 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.880 wasn't until I became a mother, and frankly, it took 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:16.000 fifteen years past that to really understand that if you 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.000 love a person, you want the best for them. You 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:23.040 want them to find their journey, you want them to 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:28.000 realize their potential. And that's the kind of love that 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:31.280 I think is the highest love. It's the best love. 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:35.120 It's the most rewarding love. It's really hard to find, 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:38.960 and it's really hard to give. But to love somebody 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:42.320 and to love yourself wanting the best for you and 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:47.600 wanting you to fulfill your highest potential, that's real love. 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:50.040 That's the kind of love that if you break up 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:52.160 and it's not right between you, you can still look 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:55.040 at the person and say, I admire this person. There 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:58.320 was a point at which a relationship was something that 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:03.040 fulfilled me, that I got something out of, and then 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:07.160 I morphed into someone that wants the best for the 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.000 other person and only wants to date someone that I 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:11.080 would feel that way about. 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:12.360 Hmmm. 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.560 So distill it to what defines love for you? 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:21.960 A lack of selfishness, a keen interest and admiration and 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:27.360 feeling for a real connection that you can't put into words. 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:33.080 But that doesn't just consume, that doesn't just say, oh great, 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:35.360 when can we be together? What can we do? But 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:39.200 that listens to what they want to do, What are 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.320 you trying to do with your life? What are your dreams? 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.680 And then supporting that. I guess it's about only dating 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:52.000 people that you really already respect and admire as people individuals, 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:56.160 not meshing, not going to that full mesh that I 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:58.680 did in my twenties. Do you know what I'm saying. 0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:01.000 About, Like, yeah, full mesh for the birds? 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:04.040 Well, I mean it was fine. Those are the epics 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.480 stories and the fights in the street and the like 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:10.200 ro Julia and the steaks or something. No, I'm not 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:10.680 into that. 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:12.560 I'm too tired for that. 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:14.920 But I also don't want I don't want ten minute sex. 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:17.440 But I also don't want that. I don't want I 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:21.440 don't want that screaming in the streets you to actualize. 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:23.480 I want you to have what you want in life, 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:24.760 and I want to be there for the ride. 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:30.240 But it's about respect, right, respect and recognition. And you're 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:33.400 right about liking who they are and that you support 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:35.320 that despite the compromise that it might be to your 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.720 own life, because you love them, because that's actually what 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:38.840 what love is. 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:41.560 I think that's interesting. 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:42.640 You want the best for them. 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:43.520 Have you got that? 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.320 No? And I remember a boyfriend telling me that that's 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.600 what it was, and I wanted to punch him. I 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:52.600 really did. I was like, take your Hallmark guard and 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:53.240 hit the road. 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:54.720 But he was right. 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.200 I hate it when someone tells you something that's right 0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:00.160 and then you know they were right, and then you 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:00.960 have to carry that around. 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:06.280 Yeah it is. I don't have the relationship back, but 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:07.440 I took the advice. 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:09.040 Then you profited from that. 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:10.440 No do I have that now? 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:10.679 No? 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:12.840 I do not. It's very hard to find. But I 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:17.040 also don't trifle with possibles. If I don't feel deep 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:20.800 compulsion that this person is connecting with me, I think 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:24.080 of it as chakras. If they're not lighting up five 0:17:24.119 --> 0:17:26.920 of those chakras at once. I'm not going to bother. 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:28.720 Oh my god, that's so great. It's like a traffic 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:33.040 light system. That's fantastic. Yeah, I'm sorry, and there's all 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:36.320 three lights are going. We don't have anything happening. Yeah, 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:41.720 that makes it very practical. You have an internal traffic. 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:45.159 And if you're friends, that can always change because you know, 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.920 you'll fall in love if it's not ten minutes, if 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:51.800 it's half an hour's eare and it's satisfying. 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:53.840 Listen, I'm giving ten minutes. I'm giving ten. 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:56.560 Minutes a bad app there's a good version of ten minutes. 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:58.959 It's just the people that are cooling women invisible over 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:01.040 the age of fifty, and not that people have a 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:02.000 good ten minute sex. 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:05.000 Okay, that's the that's the fucking deal right there. 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:10.800 But that fellow, But I'll take a good ten minutes. 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:12.280 This is all the truth you need. 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:14.200 I'll take a good ten minutes with my boyfriend any 0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:14.760 day of the week. 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:15.879 God damn right. 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:20.040 Yeah, but he's also probably a forty five minute or 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:22.280 a ten minute or a five minute or and any 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:22.800 sort of thing. 0:18:23.040 --> 0:18:28.320 He's all the minutes. Indy, Oh, the minutes I need. 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:33.320 I think we should drive a song. He's old minutes. 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:37.720 And we can even have parts of it. We're like 0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:42.080 fifteen minutes now, you know, No, it's like twenty minutes. 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:42.480 Now. 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:49.679 Hi, my name's twenty minutes and I'm a mid point 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:54.520 in your day. Hi, my name's two minutes. I'm a 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:56.040 knee trembling in the kitchen. 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:00.240 I'm your launch pray. 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:06.280 It's Friday, Sunday afternoon. 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:15.600 He's all minutes in the hour, so he's all a 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:16.280 minutes by me. 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.680 Oh my godnes on a Tuesday. By the way, I'm 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:21.960 definitely writing the song. I'm going to send it to you. 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:30.439 All right, Angel in your life, can you tell me 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:33.160 about something that has grown out of a personal disaster? 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:37.680 The knee jerk reaction is everything's grown out of personal disaster. 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:38.480 I like that. 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:45.120 Correct way to say is I see personal disaster as opportunities. 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:47.720 Not at the moment, but I always keep that in 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:51.040 the back of my mind. So if you consider the 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:53.720 fact that I was adopted, I came right out of 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:59.399 a personal disaster into a pretty good situation. And you know, 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:02.199 though I I wanted to be a visual artist, the 0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:07.000 personal disaster of me sort of having my I'm not 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.520 going to school anymore. I hate everything, I hate everyone. 0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:14.720 That personal disaster wrote Guyville, and so then the personal 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:18.240 disaster of oh god, now it's my job to perform 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:22.360 on stage that personal disaster. Or when I was having 0:20:22.440 --> 0:20:26.359 trouble with my record company, well, I have a college degree. 0:20:26.400 --> 0:20:30.119 I could write a book, you know. So everything comes 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:35.080 out of a dead end. For me. Everything that I've 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:38.920 done that has really impressed me about myself has come 0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:42.640 out of a dead end where something isn't working out. 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:46.840 And that may just be that I value those experiences 0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:51.040 more because I overcame something. But personal disaster for me 0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:55.280 equates with growth. So anytime I break something or someone 0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:58.240 breaks me, even in the depths of it, and trust me, 0:20:58.320 --> 0:21:00.200 I'm going to go hide in a cave for about 0:21:00.240 --> 0:21:03.399 six months. It's just been my experience on life like 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:06.520 that is what happens. Necessity is the mother of invention. 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:11.000 That is the truism. But it's true, and it's extremely 0:21:11.160 --> 0:21:14.520 useful in my life because otherwise there's no rhyme or 0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:17.320 reason to what I've done in my life. Young people 0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:19.000 should remember that exactly. 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:21.399 It's just like wait a minute, just let it breathe 0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:23.919 when it's really bad, give it a second. 0:21:29.440 --> 0:21:32.040 What person, place, or experience most altered your life. 0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:35.600 I'm so happy we have arrived at this question. Music, 0:21:36.440 --> 0:21:41.240