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Speaker 1: I'm Bradley Johnson with one eight hundred duy away. Not

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Speaker 1: getting behind the wheel after drinking is the best choice,

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Speaker 1: But if you're pulled over, the next best choice it's

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Speaker 1: to call one eight hundred duy away. Time for your

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Speaker 1: brand new phone tap. It's broken Juble in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Don't forget. Jose will be performing at the Tacoma Comedy

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Speaker 1: Club tonight. There's two shows free show, so go to

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Speaker 1: Tacoma Comedy Club dot com if you want to spend

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Speaker 1: your Thanksgiving Eve with Jose getting hammered at the Tacoma

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Speaker 1: Comedy Club and for your phone tap. It's a tradition

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Speaker 1: the day before Thanksgiving on this show that we call

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Speaker 1: the Butterball hot Line. If you don't know what that is,

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Speaker 1: it's a call center full of people who are just

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Speaker 1: waiting to help you with your Turkey related emergencies. So

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Speaker 1: my producer and I thought it would be fun to

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Speaker 1: have the helpless and indecisive man named Duncan give the

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Speaker 1: Butterball hot Line a call and see if they can

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Speaker 1: be nice enough to help him no matter what he's

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Speaker 1: talking about. And if you know anything about Duncan, it's

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Speaker 1: really hard to be nice to him and you'll hear

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Speaker 1: it in your phone tap right now, it's another Jube

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Speaker 1: the twenty. Welcome to to be connected to our Turkey

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Speaker 1: talk line for information on Turkey preparation and cooking assistance.

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Speaker 1: Press or say three. Please remain on the line and

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Speaker 1: a Turkey expert will be with you as quickly as possible.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for going, Tricia, How may help you? Umlec tri show.

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Speaker 1: My name is Duncan. I'm calling you because I think

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Speaker 1: I have a Thanksgiving emergency, and so I hear that

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Speaker 1: this is like the place to call to deal with that.

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Speaker 1: So what's your emergency exactly? Um? Okay, So I'll give

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Speaker 1: you a little bit of BACKSTORYM. My parents divorced when

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Speaker 1: I was a baby. Um, and so I don't know

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Speaker 1: my dad very well. And then my stepdad he came

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Speaker 1: into the picture like it was a pretty cool guy. Um.

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Speaker 1: His name is Arthur, by the way, and everybody calls

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Speaker 1: him Artie. So Artie's pretty pretty awesome, pretty sweet dude. Um, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know you called the wrong hotline. This is

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Speaker 1: for Turkey. Yes, I'll get to that in a second.

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Speaker 1: I know that this is the Turkey hotline. That's why

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Speaker 1: I'm calling. But anyway, you need to know that I

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Speaker 1: told already this year that I was going to find

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Speaker 1: my real dad and spend Thanksgiving with him, and so already,

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Speaker 1: being like the cool guy here is to give me

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Speaker 1: the thumbs up, and he was like, okay, go get

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Speaker 1: them ducking all right. What is your emergency? Um? Well, okay,

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to surprise my biological dad, which, by

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Speaker 1: the way, that's a pretty cool tim if you think

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Speaker 1: about it. I just learned it recently. Biological cool time.

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Speaker 1: I guess it is. We're really flooded over here, so

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Speaker 1: I food. No, No, we're flooded with collars. Oh okay.

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Speaker 1: I thought maybe the office where you're sitting out was flooding,

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Speaker 1: and I was going to be like, wow, that sounds

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Speaker 1: like really, thank you for your concern, And no, there

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Speaker 1: is no flood. There's just a lot of people on

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Speaker 1: the other line. Yeah, I just need you to get

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Speaker 1: to your emergency quicker. Yes, And that's what I was doing.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, I showed up my biodad's house a few

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Speaker 1: hours ago to surprise him. And if you're wondering, it's

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Speaker 1: been kind of quiet over here, like his family isn't

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Speaker 1: really that talkative, although I thought they would be. Um, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so duntan either this is an emergency about a turkey

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Speaker 1: or not. But I don't really have much time right

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Speaker 1: now to deal with this. Okay, y'all all get to

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Speaker 1: the turkey. So did you get enough of the backstory

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Speaker 1: though about my and then my biodad? Okay, yeah, so

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Speaker 1: I'm glad we're on the same page then. Um, anyway,

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Speaker 1: so Thanksgiving us tomorrow it is, and everybody, um like

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Speaker 1: went out to the park or something today and then

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Speaker 1: they left me here. So I thought that I could

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Speaker 1: like maybe surprise them and cook the turkey early. So

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Speaker 1: I went ahead and started cooking at So we're cooking

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Speaker 1: their turkey? Did they know that you're cooking in Well,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be a surprise where when they come back,

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Speaker 1: because like it's been sort of awkward over here, like

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Speaker 1: I was saying, So I want to like be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: surprise turkey. Do you have any questions about the turkey? Yeah? Well,

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Speaker 1: did I mention to you that I'm hypoglycemic, which means

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Speaker 1: I need to keep my sugar at a certain level? Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I'm happlic I see Max, sound really hungr right now,

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Speaker 1: and I need to eat. Um, what can I help

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Speaker 1: you with the turkeys? All I'm qualified to deal with? Okay,

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Speaker 1: So really what I want to do is cook it

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Speaker 1: really quickly. Um, that's why I originally put it in

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Speaker 1: the oven at five hundred and seventy five degrees. Don't

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Speaker 1: do that? Well, yeah, that's what I thought, because like

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Speaker 1: there was all kinds of smoke and stuff. So then

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Speaker 1: I googled it and I found a few mom blogs

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Speaker 1: on it said the high heat was a bad idea.

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Speaker 1: Still smoking, is it? Well no, because I take it

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Speaker 1: out of the oven, and then I tried to put

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Speaker 1: it in the microwave, but like, um, I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you know this one all, but a big turkey.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't really fit very well in the microwave. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it didn't fit. You can't microwave turkey. Well no,

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Speaker 1: because I am microwaving it right now, so you can,

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Speaker 1: and I'm watching it. Can actually do that, but it

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Speaker 1: doesn't make it safe. Okay, So in twenty minutes, when

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Speaker 1: the microwave is done, it'll be ready to go. Is

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Speaker 1: that what you're saying. No, it's not gonna be done

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Speaker 1: at all. If anything, you'll just get sticking and a

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Speaker 1: b oh. Okay, So if I just burn it, then

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Speaker 1: it'll be good to you because it's been sitting out

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Speaker 1: for a while. Now, what you're telling me is that

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Speaker 1: you were left to your own devices in this house

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Speaker 1: and then you decided to cook your biological families turkey. Yeah, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: y'all you burnt it and then try to force it

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Speaker 1: into a microwave. Well, yeah, pretty much? Then happy about this?

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Speaker 1: Well yeah, you know what? Um. Also, I think I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna go ahead and leave because I noticed there's

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Speaker 1: like a grease fire starting on the microwave right now. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you should call the fire Okay, I'll do that after

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Speaker 1: we get off the phone. Call them now, y'all, Quali

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Speaker 1: Fire Department. I'll do that because I think you're taking

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Speaker 1: up a lot of my time now and I need

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Speaker 1: to go on the phone department. Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for calling letter. Well you have things okay, I have

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Speaker 1: a good things going okay, all right, bye, okay bye.

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Speaker 1: Wake up every morning with weekday mornings on the twenties

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Speaker 1: point five