WEBVTT - 7: Get A Leg Up 0:00:04.200 --> 0:00:06.200 There's a song from the mid nineties that I keep 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:09.400 coming back to. It's called Everything Falls Apart from a 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:11.000 band called Dog's Eye View. 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:17.560 Fall then Against the Shadow Food. 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:21.119 In fact, it's about being young and frustrated and a 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:24.040 little bit self destructive, which I for sure was at 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:26.800 the time. It came out in nineteen ninety five, right 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:30.360 when Sudden Impacts relationship with Michael Bivens was falling apart, 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:33.120 and its lyrics, whether or not the writer knew it 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:36.440 at the time, are ripped from real life. Dog's Eye 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:39.239 View was a band started by a guy named Peter Stewart. 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:41.720 Peter had always wanted to be a rock star, to 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:43.720 have a song on the radio, to have a video 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:47.360 in rotation on MTV. He'd seen that bon Jovi video 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.080 Wanted Dead or Alive, where they're touring the world in 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:53.600 private planes and playing to stadiums, and he said, that's 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:53.880 for me. 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:56.200 That will make me a whole person. 0:00:56.800 --> 0:00:59.279 And as Everything Falls Apart began to take off that 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:02.320 wish like it was just about to come true. He 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:06.080 remembers a moment in Paris during a European tour when 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:09.120 he heard what he had always dreamed of hearing. 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.920 So We're playing four nights there and maybe night two. 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:15.760 You know this is pre international cell phone, maybe night two. 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:20.240 I go down and there's a payphone downstairs, and I'm 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:22.039 told that my manager wants to talk to me. 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.040 Dog's eye View had toured with Counting Crows the year 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:28.240 Counting Crows blew up. Adam Duritz even wore a Dog's 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:30.600 Eye View T shirt on the cover of Rolling Stone. 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.720 But what Peter wanted for himself to have a video 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.040 on the air on MTV had remained just out of reach. 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:39.640 And so do do do? 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:39.840 Do? 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:40.160 Do? Do? 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:43.800 Call him up long distance and he says, I have 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:48.080 great news. MTV added you. You're in the buzz bin. 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:52.400 They're playing it six times, sixteen times a week. I 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:53.680 remember this clear as day. 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:54.000 Right. 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:57.320 The video for Everything Falls Apart didn't just get added 0:01:57.320 --> 0:02:00.960 to MTV's rotation. It got added to the buzz a 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.919 thing MTV did from nineteen eighty seven until it stopped 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:07.160 playing music videos. The buzzbind was a seal of approval 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:10.200 from the network, like a verified blue check mark that 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:12.440 said this is an artist to keep your eye on. 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:15.840 Other buzzband artists from around this time were Dave Matthews, 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:19.920 band Stone Temple, pilots, counting crows themselves. Dog's eye View 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:23.640 had arrived. Peter Stewart had gotten exactly what he wanted. 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:27.400 A video on MTV sixteen times a week. Guess what 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:32.320 happened next? And I said, wow, why not twenty of course? 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:34.680 Right? Yeah? Was it? 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:39.760 That was like there was no moment of jubilation. There 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:43.720 was no there wasn't like there was no arrival. It 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:49.079 was fucking devastating because it was like, I need more, 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:51.560 like that's not that's not enough. 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.120 I'm going to talk to Peter Stewart about the Dog's 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:57.440 Eye View experience, what was good, what fell apart, and 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.280 where he is now, and I will continue on my 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:03.480 quest to track down all of Sudden Impact, a group 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:06.120 for whom everything fell apart before it even had a 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:10.400 chance to come together. This is Waiting for Impact, a 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:32.680 Dave Holmes passion project. So here is where we stand. 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.400 I have spoken with Aaron Kane, the lead singer of 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:38.840 Sudden Impact, who started as Too Special and later became 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:41.480 White Guys, and then even later became the Outsiders and 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:44.640 then also became Outsiders for life. He has given me 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:47.240 his part of the Sudden Impact story that It all 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.840 started with a poster that they showed to Michael Bivins, 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:52.280 who signed them to Capitol Records and put them in 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:55.400 Boys to Men's Motown, Philly video before he even heard 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:58.680 them sing. I've spoken to Tim Byrd, the group's producer 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:01.360 and some say, the sixth member of Sudden Impact. He 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.760 confirms all of the above, which is wild, and he's 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.120 told me more of the story how the group left 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:09.800 Capital to go to Bivin's biv ten Records, who then 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:12.520 dropped them, and how they then got signed to Boys 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:16.839 to Men's label Stone Creek, which then folded entirely. Aaron 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:19.120 and his brother Noel left the group after that, and 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:22.160 two new members joined. I've tracked one of them down 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:23.680 and I'm going to see if he'll speak to me 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:26.720 about the whole thing. I also have an email into 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:30.839 Sudden IMPACT's main songwriter, Todd White. No answer yet, but 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:34.880 while we wait, let's get into Peter Stewart. I loved 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:37.560 Dog's Eye View in the mid nineties when I was 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.760 feeling very alone and very confused, Having his voice in 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.640 my ears honestly kept me going. He was alone and 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:46.000 confused too, and if he had found his place in 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:46.400 the world. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:48.280 That meant I could too. 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:51.800 Peter had dreams of stardom, he had plans, he had persistence. 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:55.000 But I think what I really connected to about him, 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:57.600 what really inspired me, was his ambition. 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:00.280 I'm in awe of people who just decid. 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:02.920 Guide what they want from life, no matter how unrealistic 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:06.400 or improbable, and don't let anything stop them from getting it. 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:10.160 I think it's why I'm attracted to the sudden Impact story. Honestly, 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:12.760 if I were those guys, I would have thrown in 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:14.160 the towel three names ago. 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:17.680 They kept pushing, and I admire that. So did Peter. 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:20.960 Peter got into music with a head full esteem, but 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:23.160 it was what was on his head that might have 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:23.960 made the difference. 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:27.400 This is where my entire life turns on Jewish hair. 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.880 Later in this episode you will learn how the sensible 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:34.240 Long Island buzz cut of Peter Stewart met the infamous 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:39.280 San Francisco hair extravaganza of Counting Crows Adam Duritz and 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:42.599 changed his life forever. But before that chance meeting with 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:46.200 a famous quoth, Peter was figuring himself out. He was 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:49.400 just out of Northwestern University, playing music, living in a 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:52.800 basement apartment in Chicago. That basement apartment, by the way, 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.240 with its high windows through which Peter had a view 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:58.240 of people's feet as they walked past, would eventually provide 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.560 the name he would go on to record under Dog's 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:02.800 Eye View, but at the time he had not yet 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.280 settled on a good name for the folky acoustic sound 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:06.039 he was developing. 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:10.240 I think we were either called the gravity Beavers at 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:14.200 that point or Monster, both terrible names for what we 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:17.560 were doing. Monster is a bad name in that I 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.200 think people think you're going to show up and be heavy, 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.400 and then you show up with an acoustic guitar and 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:28.520 and you know, it's sort of you look even less cool. 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:31.120 But yeah, So I was playing in bands and doing 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:33.120 a lot of I don't know if you ever did this, 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.600 a lot of putting like a mix of I think 0:06:36.600 --> 0:06:40.479 it was flour and water together and hanging posters on 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:44.240 light poles to you know, for your band, Like you know, 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:46.680 pre Internet, pre all that stuff. You'd literally go with 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:50.680 a bucket of this goop and hundreds of pieces of 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:53.160 paper and go around to all the light poles in 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:57.560 the neighborhoods in Chicago and put up these posters for 0:06:57.560 --> 0:06:59.719 for your band, and in winter in. 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.120 Chic that's a really cold option. That's a really cold 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:03.720 thing to do. 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:05.760 But you needed that kind of gumption if you were 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:07.680 going to make it in the early nineties, and as 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:09.679 we know from sudd An impact, if the right person 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:13.080 sees the right poster, this guy's the limit. After a 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:15.480 couple of years on his grind in Chicago, he determined 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:17.800 that he was ready for the big time. He packed 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:20.160 up and moved to New York with a pretty sweet 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:21.679 opportunity right off the bat. 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:24.360 I'd been talking to this woman at a record company 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:27.640 called Imago for months and she was, you know, yeah, 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:28.320 come to New York. 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:29.920 I'll get you a gig. Come to New York. I'll get 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:30.320 you a gig. 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:33.960 And she kept saying, you know, every every Tuesday. I 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:35.600 think it, well, I don't know if it's Monday or Tuesday. 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:38.160 Every xt day of the week. There's this guy named 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:41.120 Jeff Buckley. He plays at this place called Shane. I'll 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:44.840 get you a gig. Play before him. You'll see, you know, 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:47.480 you'll play to tons of people. He's the thing in 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:49.640 New York right now, right, I've never heard Jeff Buckley 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:52.680 at this point. Great, so I literally moved to New 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:56.440 York and she gives me this gig at Shane, and 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.040 I am, this is it right? 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:00.640 This is one of many? This is it? That we're 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:01.320 not it? 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:03.360 But I get there and my first night there, I 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:05.480 go down to Shnee. This is my big gig and 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:10.080 it's literally Shane who ran Shane, and like someone making 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:15.560 coffee and a person because for the first week ever, 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:20.040 Jeff's run has ended. Jeff had finished, he'd finished a 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.360 big finale the week before. He's done with Shane, and 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:26.760 he's moved on to greener pastors and off to make Grace. 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:30.680 So my first big gig was literally like thud. 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:44.200 Kiss that is last Goodbye from the classic album Grace 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:47.120 that Jeff Buckley had just left Shane to make. And 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:50.440 that voice is why Jeff Buckley influenced a whole generation 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:53.760 of singer songwriters, including Peter Stewart. We'll come back to 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:56.240 Jeff Buckley a bit later in the show, but for now, 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:58.760 like me in New York in the mid nineties, Peter 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.280 is tempting to pay the bill. He's getting some stage 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:04.120 time where he can, and what happens next is a 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:04.800 real ride. 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:08.640 A friend of mine called me and asked me to 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:12.600 open for a band, an Irish band called The Fat 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.280 Lady Sayings, And so I went down I can't even 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:17.280 remember where. It was, some tiny club and I went 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:22.160 down to open for them, and it was fine and 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:27.640 they were cool, but they were taking five to ten 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:30.520 minutes between every song to tune their guitars and like 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:33.560 get their shit together. And they were playing the next 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:38.720 night opening for of all people, Howard Jones at like 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:41.600 the Beacon or somewhere, and I was like, you guys 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.679 need some You need a roadie, You need someone to 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:47.360 hand you guitars and tune guitars. And they're like, oh, 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:48.160 that'd be great. 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:49.280 Can you do that? 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:51.560 I was like, yeah, absolutely, So I went up and 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:55.400 did that for them, and at the end of that show, 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.520 they were like, look, we're going off on this two 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:02.040 month tour of the state. We could use a roadie. 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:04.120 You can open gigs for us if you do it. 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:07.160 How about it? Yes? Absolutely. 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:10.360 The band and the sound guy and Peter tour the States. 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:15.280 Seven people, four of them chainsmokers, one van. The tour 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:16.400 is not boring. 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:20.320 They were sleeping on people's floors in Boston. They were 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:22.480 sleeping on floors of some people who are running guns 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:25.360 for the IRA, so there was a lot of weaponry around. 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:26.320 Terrific. 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:29.520 We came back to New York where they played Cafe 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:32.520 Wah as an Irish band opening for a funk band 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:39.000 on Funk Night, which was not great. The singer broke 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:43.160 his arm skiing in the middle of the tour, after 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:46.880 we'd had to send the road the sound guy home 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:52.720 because he had a mental break, full psychotic episode. Then 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:54.240 the singer broke his arm and I had to play 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:55.040 guitar for them. 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:58.360 It was a very exciting tour, but through. 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:00.160 All of it, Peter is listening to a cause that 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:02.120 of a record that hasn't been released yet. 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:05.480 I had had an advanced copy of the first Counting 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:08.599 Crows record, August and Everything after someone a friend of 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:11.640 mine who worked at Gefen, had given me a cassette 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:14.200 and I was obsessed with it. I loved it, and 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:16.320 it was before it had come out. I was just 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:18.840 it killed me right. It was right in my vein 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:20.520 of what I like to do and I like to hear. 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:23.320 And so in the middle of this Fat Lady Singhs 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:28.400 tour they were playing. They were the second opening act 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:35.080 for Counting Crows at St. Andrew's Hall in Detroit, and 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:39.760 it was Counting Crow's first ever headlining gig outside of California. 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:42.400 Peter is a big Counting Crows fan at this point, 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.080 he's dying to share a bill with them, So, like 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:47.319 Todd and Allen of Sudden Impact, with a dream in 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.680 their hearts and a poster in their hands, he takes 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:50.160 a chance. 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.280 I said, look, I know there are two other opening 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:55.319 acts I need to play on this gig. I love 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:58.400 this fucking band. Let me play on this gig. And 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:01.120 someone relented and said, you can play literally at seven 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:04.080 o'clock when the door's open, doors open, you play fifteen minutes. 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:04.640 So great. 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:07.760 I'm on the keg fifteen minutes of stage time at 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:10.920 seven pm, before anyone's even left their homes to come 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:14.199 to the venue, while the bartender is still cutting up limes. 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:16.640 But it's enough to give him a little swagger when 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:19.600 he has that important interaction that hinges on Jewish hair. 0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:23.640 So before the show, we're up in the dressing room. 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:25.880 Since just sort of one communal dressing room and Counting 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:29.400 Crows are not known at this point, there's been no 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:32.720 radio play, there's nothing. They're just building up and I 0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:37.679 see Adam from across the room, and I walked up 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:40.400 to him and I said, hey, how are you doing. 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:43.839 I'm the opening act, right, which is way better than 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:46.280 saying like I'm a big fan. So I said, hey, 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:46.920 I'm the opening act. 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:47.480 My name is Peter. 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:49.160 He's like, oh, hey, great, great, nice to meet. I 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:53.640 was like, listen, I've always wanted dreadlocks. How long did 0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:55.960 it take you to grow those? He was like about 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:56.760 like three hours. 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:58.200 Man. I was like, what do you mean. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.280 He's like, it's a weave, it's it's I was like, 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:04.400 all my life I could have had dreadlocks if I 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:06.320 just like spent money. 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:10.000 Peter and Adam Durrettz get friendly. They exchanged phone numbers, 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:12.120 and because this is a time in history when you 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:13.719 would talk on the phone, they do. 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:17.600 And a few weeks later they were coming to maybe 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.839 a month later, I'm not sure how long. They were 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:24.040 coming to New York to play a gig at Wetlands. 0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:27.960 The night before they played Saturday Night Live, and somehow 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:31.760 I was you know, I was pushy and doing a 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:33.880 lot of finaggling. So I basically said, hey, I have 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.800 a band, can we open for you at Wetlands? 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:39.040 It's like, you're sure open for us at Wetlands. That'd 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:41.400 be great. And I think what it may have even 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:42.240 been worse than that. 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.360 I think there was someone opening for them, and then 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:48.640 they played, and then we closed for them at Wetlands, right, 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:51.040 so after everybody left, we started playing. 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:52.760 But again it was one of those things like I 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:53.839 just want to be in the game. 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.240 A few days later, Peter's phone rings, and again, because 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.200 this is a time when people talk on their phones, 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:00.319 Peter picks up. 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:04.560 Adam called me or his manager called someone did and said, look, 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:07.760 we had an opening act for two weeks. You know, 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:09.400 we're going off on the Northeast tour. We had an 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:12.800 opening act. He just dropped out. Can you do two 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:15.840 weeks of touring with us solo? It's like, yeah, yes, 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:20.120 I can't. Yeah, absolutely it can. So I was along 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:23.080 for this ride where count Crows were this cool band 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.720 and there I loved their record, and they're playing the Wetlands, 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:29.960 which was a little club, and we played and and 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:31.360 I was going to go off on tour with him 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.200 the next you know, the day after Saturday Night Live, 0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:38.120 and they played Saturday Night Live and it just went. 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:42.520 It just changed, right, It immediately. You know. 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:44.440 I was on tour with them, and it went from 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:47.000 like playing the Wetlands to playing a bigger place to 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:51.840 the small place you're still booked in is packed and 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.240 everyone like, all of a sudden, you could feel this 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:55.040 thing rolling. 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:56.800 It's very rare. 0:14:56.680 --> 0:15:00.040 That a band has like a meteoric rise like the 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:00.680 Crows had. 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:04.040 And I rode that. I rode that whole thing. You know. 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:06.160 It was like they're on the cover of Rolling Stone, 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:08.560 They're on cover of Spin, They're on you know, all 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:11.200 these things they're doing, like these TV shows, and I 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:12.240 got to be along. 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:15.600 For all of it, right, and just like yeah, yeah, 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:18.080 And they're not just on the cover of Rolling Stone. 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.160 Adam Durretz is on the cover of Rolling Stone in 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:21.320 a Dog's Eye view T shirt. 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:25.960 Yes, which again goes to how annoyingly uh in it? 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:27.000 For myself I was. 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:30.800 I mean, I was just constantly pushing, like which I 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:32.800 think you have to do to some degree. But it's 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.080 like I'm the guy going, oh, well, what you need 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:36.480 is for me to come on the road and roady 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.320 for you and open for you, right, and and Adam's 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:41.920 about to go do the you know, his first ever 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.000 like magazine cover shoot, and I'm like, so, so you're 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:45.880 gonna wear my shirt? 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:46.200 Right? 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:49.160 Can you please wear my shirt? Well? 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:55.080 It worked, it did, but it's it's you know, okay, sure, yeah, 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:58.000 it's a little cringey in retrospect. But as we've learned 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.160 by now, even the least probable, even the wildest kind 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:05.800 of ambition, can pay off. Peter Stewart has found himself 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.000 in the right place at the right time, and that's 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:11.480 because he's made the decision to be everywhere. Roadying for 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:14.480 bands and playing for empty rooms brought him luck, but 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:17.760 it was luck that he manifested through bold action. And 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:19.920 this brings me back to an aspect of my own 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:22.960 personal story that still kind of scares me a little bit. 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:25.880 In nineteen ninety eight, I made the decision to show 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.600 up at fifteen fifteen Broadway to audition to be a 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:32.680 VJ on MTV. This is a decision that has fundamentally 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:34.840 changed the entire course of my life to the point 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.320 that I honestly don't know where or who I would 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.040 be if I hadn't gone. It gave me the life 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:42.760 I have now, and the thing that haunts me about it, 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:44.880 the thing that I think about at three am, when 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:47.080 I can't get back to sleep. Is how close I 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:50.480 came to not going. Here's the deal. The first day 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.120 of those auditions at MTV was the day after Easter. 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:55.440 I had spent Easter with my group of friends in 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:57.880 New York City, where we'd cooked bacon and eggs and 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:00.040 taken the Staten Island ferry back and forth because you 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:02.920 couldn't afford brunch in the circle line. I didn't tell 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:04.679 any of them what I was planning on doing. It 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.119 felt so foolish, like a thing a child would do. 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:09.600 I figured there would be a lot of big characters 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:11.720 showing up for this thing, so a guy like me, 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:15.000 kind of a low key everyman music nerd, would have 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:17.919 to be seen early before the casting people got tired 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:19.040 of faces and voices. 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:21.240 So I set an alarm for four AM. 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:23.919 And when that alarm clock screamed at me that morning, 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:28.520 those tall red digital letters spelling out four too, my 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:32.600 eyes burning and my body horizontal and cozy, I said. 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:36.200 What am I doing? I'm twenty seven, I have a job. 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:38.879 It's time for me to put aside childish things like 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:41.159 showing up and trying to be a VJ for a 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:44.200 network who's demographic I aged out of a month ago. 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.840 Who does this? How foolish? Go back to sleep and 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:50.600 then go to work like a man. I turned off 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:54.480 the alarm. I blinked a heavy, sleepy blink, and then 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:57.359 another longer one, a third blink, and I would have 0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:59.479 gone back to sleep. My eyes would have just stayed 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:01.680 closed until it was time to go to my regular job, 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:03.679 and I would have gone about the business of a 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:07.720 regular day. I would have missed my chance. I don't 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:09.040 know what it is that got me out of bed. 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:11.240 I know I didn't want to get out of bed, 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.800 but I did, and I showered, and I put on 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.000 a black, tunicy kind of shirt that I guess I 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:19.760 thought was trendy, and I took a taxi to Times Square, 0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:21.760 where I was one hundred and sixty eighth in line. 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.199 We got brought into the studio in groups of twelve, 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.400 and when my group was called in, I was at 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:29.639 audition Station seven, where the casting guy saw something in 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:31.520 me and sent me to another room where I talked 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:33.560 to more casting people for a half hour or so, 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:36.000 and then they told me they'd call by Tuesday at 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:38.080 midnight if I made the top ten. And they called 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:41.080 at eleven fifty seven pm on Tuesday, and I borrowed 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:43.160 a good going out shirt from one of my roommates, 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:45.040 and I showed up the next morning, and then I 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:47.040 made the top five and they gave me access to 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.159 the wardrobe room, where I got to wear some of 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:52.440 Matt Pinfield's bowling shirts for the rest of the process because. 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:53.280 We were the same size. 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.880 I got to practice Awards show podium banter on Live 0:18:56.920 --> 0:18:58.200 TV with Pauli Shore. 0:18:58.600 --> 0:18:59.919 I think I made a biodome jo. 0:19:00.960 --> 0:19:03.040 Kathy Griffin did a challenge where she was a different 0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:05.679 kind of difficult interview for each of us. We had 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.439 to run across the street to the Virgin Megastore and 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:10.720 grab our three favorite albums and defend them. 0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:13.720 Mine were the first Benfolds five record, day, Las Souls. 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:15.840 Three Feet High in Rising, and Tommy Keene's songs from 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:20.399 the film Perfect Now. It was obvious seeing Jesse Camp, 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:23.600 this tall, beautiful, eighteen year old weirdo, that he was 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:26.639 gonna win. He was a character, and that took the 0:19:26.680 --> 0:19:30.399 pressure off of me. I relaxed, I enjoyed myself. I 0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:33.000 bantered with Kurt Loder. I sasked him back when he 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:35.119 said he hated Paul McCartney in Wings? How can you 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:38.719 hate Paul McCartney in Wings? And the voters voted and 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:41.280 I lost, And I said, Dave, have your emotions about 0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:43.240 this later. Now it's time to put a smile on 0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:45.240 your face and go to the after party and start 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:47.600 trying to get in some other way. And I did, 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:50.840 and I pushed, and now I'm here. I wouldn't be here. 0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:53.199 I wouldn't be doing this right now, being in this 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:56.920 room talking into this microphone if I had blinked that 0:19:57.000 --> 0:19:57.600 third time. 0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:01.080 So I guess the moral here is say yes, get. 0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:03.439 Up early for that stupid audition, Print up your poster, 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.440 even if there's nothing for that poster to promote. Ask 0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:08.560 a famous friend to wear your T shirt, make a 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:10.240 T shirt, take a chance. 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:12.840 Success often really does. 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:14.359 Come down to being in the right place at the 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:16.840 right time, and there will never be a right time 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:30.760 for your right place to be bad. So Peter Stewart 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:33.479 and Dog's Eye View are on tour with Counting Crows, 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:36.440 the band that is becoming the biggest band in America, 0:20:36.920 --> 0:20:39.119 and the buzz is growing for Dog's Eye View as well. 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:43.159 What were you hoping? Was it fame that excited you. 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:46.399 Was it connection with an audience that excited you? What 0:20:46.560 --> 0:20:51.719 about your music, like, what was the impact you were 0:20:51.760 --> 0:20:52.400 hoping to make. 0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:55.359 Well, it's complicated, right, and I've had a lot of 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:57.840 time to think about it, so I'm not sure. At 0:20:57.880 --> 0:21:01.120 the time, it was a combination of a couple things, right, 0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:05.640 So in it, in the roots of it, it started 0:21:05.640 --> 0:21:09.480 with a combination of I was incredibly depressed, very lonely 0:21:10.040 --> 0:21:13.959 teenage boy, right, and I picked up the guitar. And 0:21:14.000 --> 0:21:18.399 the first thing that happened to me musically in a 0:21:18.400 --> 0:21:20.840 lot of ways was you know, my dad had died 0:21:20.880 --> 0:21:23.320 when I was really young. I had all this stuff 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:25.560 around it. I picked up a guitar and then someone 0:21:25.600 --> 0:21:28.080 turned me on to Cat Stevens and the song Father 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:30.480 and Son, and it was the first time I ever 0:21:30.520 --> 0:21:35.280 felt like heard and understood and and and music immediately 0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:38.280 became this thing where I felt less alone in the world, right, 0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:41.320 and I felt like I got. 0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:43.000 It and it moved me so deeply. 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:46.360 So part of it was wanting to participate in that, right, 0:21:46.440 --> 0:21:48.920 wanting to be moved by music, and wanting to move 0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:53.040 people and wanting to you know, explore that. And part 0:21:53.040 --> 0:21:56.840 of it was you know, sort of self therapy. Right, 0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:59.399 write sad songs about sad things I'm feeling, and I 0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:04.600 feel like less sad and if anyone, if it communicates 0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:05.480 with anyone, great. 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:09.400 That's mixed almost fifty to fifty with. 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:17.120 Being around at the inception of MTV, right and and 0:22:16.320 --> 0:22:22.040 I wish that this was less the case right for coolness. 0:22:22.080 --> 0:22:25.879 But part of it was the Wanted Dead or Alive 0:22:26.040 --> 0:22:27.600 music video by Bonchovi. 0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:28.240 Right. 0:22:28.800 --> 0:22:32.359 I was, you know, sitting in my room. I'm you know, 0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:36.880 I'm in high school or junior higher high school, and 0:22:37.000 --> 0:22:39.080 there are all these shots of like, you know, like 0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:42.919 guys getting into like limos and guys getting into planes 0:22:43.040 --> 0:22:46.159 and guys getting girls, and you know, I've seen a 0:22:46.160 --> 0:22:49.320 million faces and I've rocked them all. It's like, fuck yeah, 0:22:49.440 --> 0:22:51.080 fuck yes, that's what I want. 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:51.560 Right. 0:22:52.320 --> 0:22:55.440 So, so it's this weird combination of those two things. 0:22:57.320 --> 0:23:00.679 And on the darker side, which comes out, you know, 0:23:00.760 --> 0:23:04.199 sort of proves itself later, you know. So much of 0:23:04.240 --> 0:23:06.679 it was the chase, like I just want to get 0:23:06.720 --> 0:23:08.879 a record out, I just want people to hear me. 0:23:08.960 --> 0:23:13.000 I just want that thing. But there was some internal 0:23:13.119 --> 0:23:15.520 thing where I thought that that would fix me. Right, 0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:18.880 I thought that would make everything okay, And I really, 0:23:19.440 --> 0:23:22.040 you know, I couldn't have articulated that to you at 0:23:22.040 --> 0:23:26.240 that point, but there was this element of like, well, 0:23:26.400 --> 0:23:32.560 surely Jon bon Jovi stepping onto that plane, you know, 0:23:33.080 --> 0:23:35.399 or in his leather pants, or you know, seeing a 0:23:35.400 --> 0:23:37.520 million faces and I rocked them all on that stage 0:23:38.000 --> 0:23:44.080 has no problems, right, Totally, life is you know, heaven 0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:47.680 opens up and you feel amazing all the time. So 0:23:47.680 --> 0:23:49.919 so part of it was that, right, I really thought 0:23:50.000 --> 0:23:53.639 that if I had a record out and or a 0:23:53.720 --> 0:23:58.240 hit single, all problems solved, I would immediately become someone 0:23:58.280 --> 0:23:59.560 who is comfortable in their own. 0:23:59.400 --> 0:24:02.560 Skin and happy dog's eye view gets to play in 0:24:02.600 --> 0:24:05.760 bigger and bigger venues. Peter sees okay, maybe not a 0:24:05.760 --> 0:24:08.959 million faces, but certainly into the thousands of faces, and 0:24:09.000 --> 0:24:12.600 he rocks most of them softly. But most importantly, he's 0:24:12.600 --> 0:24:15.440 selling his homemade cassettes at his merch table and people 0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:18.880 are buying. He attracts the attention of Columbia Records, who 0:24:18.920 --> 0:24:20.840 fly him to New York to meet the big wigs. 0:24:21.440 --> 0:24:24.800 I literally the next week went to Columbia Records, and 0:24:24.840 --> 0:24:27.760 it was sort of like all the dreams. 0:24:27.440 --> 0:24:30.240 You would have of like, you know, Dylan or you 0:24:30.280 --> 0:24:31.520 know whoever. 0:24:31.600 --> 0:24:34.439 I went into a conference room at Columbia Records with 0:24:34.560 --> 0:24:37.680 Donnie Yner, the president of the Wibel and my manager 0:24:37.720 --> 0:24:41.320 at the time, Marty Diamond, and this guy Mitchell Cohen, 0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:46.320 and okay, play a few songs in the least acoustically 0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:49.040 friendly environment you've ever been in. Right, it's a fucking 0:24:49.280 --> 0:24:52.560 conference room that's deadened, and it's like you play guitar 0:24:52.600 --> 0:24:55.040 and goes yeah yeah. 0:24:54.640 --> 0:24:59.160 And totally adiseptic and clean and floresca and just just nothing. 0:25:00.000 --> 0:25:03.160 But you know, I remember playing the song. 0:25:03.000 --> 0:25:05.800 And just sort of like walking up a chair onto 0:25:05.840 --> 0:25:09.760 the table and playing it above them, and I remember going, oh, 0:25:10.200 --> 0:25:11.960 you know, I like this kid, I like this, And 0:25:12.600 --> 0:25:12.840 you know, a. 0:25:12.840 --> 0:25:15.959 Couple days later it was they're going to offer you 0:25:16.000 --> 0:25:16.359 a deal. 0:25:16.920 --> 0:25:20.040 The band records the album Happy Nowhere, which contains the 0:25:20.040 --> 0:25:22.600 single Everything Falls Apart and honestly about a half a 0:25:22.640 --> 0:25:26.400 dozen more bangers. But for a long time, Happy Nowhere 0:25:26.560 --> 0:25:29.399 sits on a shelf, waiting to be released and waiting 0:25:29.400 --> 0:25:32.119 some more. As we know by now, that happens a lot. 0:25:32.520 --> 0:25:36.520 Sometimes those albums never stop waiting. This feels like something 0:25:36.560 --> 0:25:41.159 Pixar should explore, and then a very strange gig changes everything. 0:25:41.560 --> 0:25:43.919 The record was either going to come out in ninety 0:25:43.960 --> 0:25:47.119 five or ninety six, right late late ninety five or 0:25:47.240 --> 0:25:50.600 ninety six, and it was unclear what was going to happen, 0:25:50.680 --> 0:25:53.600 and it wasn't necessarily you know, no one necessarily heard 0:25:53.600 --> 0:25:55.480 a big hit on it, and it wasn't necessarily a 0:25:55.520 --> 0:25:58.680 priority at Columbia. And I had a very weird gig 0:25:58.720 --> 0:26:02.320 come up, which I got asked, and this is before 0:26:02.359 --> 0:26:05.080 we were assigned, Yeah, I mean before we were the 0:26:05.119 --> 0:26:05.640 records out. 0:26:05.680 --> 0:26:07.800 There's no way people really knew about. 0:26:07.600 --> 0:26:10.840 Us, right, So someone reached out to me and said 0:26:10.840 --> 0:26:13.680 that Michael Eisner, the head of Disney at the time, 0:26:14.920 --> 0:26:17.919 his son is graduating from college and really wants you 0:26:18.000 --> 0:26:21.119 to play at his graduation. First of all, I know 0:26:21.400 --> 0:26:24.119 that they wanted Soul Coughing to play, or they wanted 0:26:24.200 --> 0:26:27.040 Cracker to play, or they wanted someone to play, and 0:26:27.160 --> 0:26:30.280 their dads had gone down the list to who's an 0:26:30.359 --> 0:26:33.199 artist who we can get to play? Right, There's no way. 0:26:33.440 --> 0:26:35.440 First of all, we weren't like a party band, and 0:26:35.720 --> 0:26:39.160 second of all, come on, it was a great foreshadowing 0:26:39.200 --> 0:26:44.639 of my entire career in music because they picked us 0:26:44.720 --> 0:26:48.120 up in New York City in a limo and took 0:26:48.200 --> 0:26:51.439 us to a private plane and flew us up to 0:26:51.640 --> 0:26:54.439 Cornell or wherever it was, and picked us up in 0:26:54.520 --> 0:26:57.040 a bedley and took us to the gig. 0:26:57.560 --> 0:27:00.879 It's a dual graduation party, Michael eisen Son and the 0:27:00.880 --> 0:27:03.000 son of Mickey Schuloff, who at the time was the 0:27:03.040 --> 0:27:06.280 president of Sony, which owned Columbia Records. It is a 0:27:06.400 --> 0:27:09.000 very weird and suddenly a very important gig. 0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:12.520 And then we set up and play and it's among 0:27:12.640 --> 0:27:14.520 the worst gigs you can play. 0:27:14.640 --> 0:27:14.800 Right. 0:27:14.920 --> 0:27:19.200 It is both of those families in a restaurant, an 0:27:19.200 --> 0:27:23.600 Italian restaurant, both of those extended families and grandparents and 0:27:23.760 --> 0:27:29.520 uncles and aunts and some teenagers, you know, and the 0:27:29.600 --> 0:27:32.440 kids graduating from college. And the first thing that happens 0:27:32.480 --> 0:27:35.879 we step on stage and it's just fucking squealing feedback, 0:27:35.960 --> 0:27:38.320 and you will just watch a bunch of old people eating, 0:27:38.960 --> 0:27:42.879 just grimace. And then we play some folk songs for 0:27:42.960 --> 0:27:46.600 these kids on their college graduation because their parents got 0:27:46.680 --> 0:27:50.880 us there. And then the very drunk son of what 0:27:50.960 --> 0:27:55.040 the eisnerer kid? Right, the very drunk kid. His dad 0:27:55.080 --> 0:27:57.159 pulls me aside says, my kid wants to jam with 0:27:57.200 --> 0:28:00.960 you guys, right, And I was like, we don't. 0:28:01.480 --> 0:28:03.280 I don't know. I'm not that kind of guy. I 0:28:03.320 --> 0:28:05.040 don't have songs to jam on. 0:28:05.080 --> 0:28:07.399 I don't and we don't have another guitar, so it 0:28:07.400 --> 0:28:10.720 wouldn't be appropriate, right, So I turned that down. And 0:28:10.760 --> 0:28:13.080 then they asked us to play a second set, and 0:28:13.160 --> 0:28:15.560 we do and some kids are like, you know, parents 0:28:15.560 --> 0:28:18.639 were like, oh, dance, dance, and we're like, play the 0:28:18.760 --> 0:28:21.440 most upbeat, sad folk song you can play. 0:28:21.640 --> 0:28:24.240 Thanks probably to an open bar, the gig is a 0:28:24.280 --> 0:28:27.760 success and Michael Eisner intervenes on Peter's behalf. 0:28:27.880 --> 0:28:30.040 And Michael Eisner goes, so, when is your record coming out? 0:28:30.040 --> 0:28:32.720 And I said, you know, I don't know. It might 0:28:32.760 --> 0:28:35.680 be it might be October, it might be next year. 0:28:35.720 --> 0:28:37.760 We're not sure. And he goes, no, It's coming out 0:28:37.800 --> 0:28:43.080 in October, Mickey October, and literally, like they get into 0:28:43.120 --> 0:28:47.200 this weird power play about when Sony's gonna put out 0:28:47.240 --> 0:28:51.080 the record, and the next day it got slated for October. 0:28:51.360 --> 0:28:55.240 So this single came out in like November of ninety five, 0:28:55.520 --> 0:29:00.720 and immediately, you know, immediately started getting traction and being 0:29:00.840 --> 0:29:02.080 a being a thing. 0:29:02.440 --> 0:29:04.520 You know what happens next, The video gets added to 0:29:04.600 --> 0:29:07.600 MTV's buzz bind, it gets played sixteen times a week, 0:29:07.960 --> 0:29:10.560 and the thing that Peter thought would fix him doesn't. 0:29:10.920 --> 0:29:14.800 That is very much in keeping with the character of 0:29:15.960 --> 0:29:18.920 the lyrics, you know, which I think at the time 0:29:19.000 --> 0:29:22.600 like listening to it. So if that if the album 0:29:22.600 --> 0:29:25.440 came out in ninety five, I would have been twenty four, 0:29:25.680 --> 0:29:29.240 and I was in New York and you know, sad 0:29:29.280 --> 0:29:31.880 and lonely and self destructive and self hating and all 0:29:31.960 --> 0:29:34.640 those things. So the record really spoke to me on 0:29:34.680 --> 0:29:38.200 a deep level in a sense that made me feel like, oh, 0:29:38.240 --> 0:29:40.520 I know this guy. I know this guy, and so 0:29:40.640 --> 0:29:42.240 to hear you say that, it's like, yeah, I know 0:29:42.320 --> 0:29:43.800 that guy would react that way. 0:29:44.320 --> 0:29:47.080 That record continued to grow and continued to be a 0:29:47.200 --> 0:29:50.400 hit single, but there was a there was definitely you know. 0:29:50.480 --> 0:29:53.520 Part of the reason I mentioned that the ascendancy of 0:29:53.600 --> 0:29:57.640 the Crows, right and that thing, is that that just 0:29:57.720 --> 0:29:59.360 never happened for us. 0:29:59.520 --> 0:30:03.080 Right, We by by by all. 0:30:02.880 --> 0:30:06.880 Accounts right as successful, like more successful than you could 0:30:06.920 --> 0:30:07.720 really hope to be. 0:30:08.040 --> 0:30:08.240 Right. 0:30:08.760 --> 0:30:11.800 You play a lot of shows, you get a record deal, 0:30:11.840 --> 0:30:16.480 you have a hit single, like that's that's dreams, right. 0:30:16.840 --> 0:30:21.719 Thirteen year old me is like yes, right, but there 0:30:21.800 --> 0:30:25.400 was a weird thing when it didn't progress to the 0:30:25.440 --> 0:30:27.880 next level, right, it didn't. You know, we went on 0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:32.840 Letterman and the next day was a day and there 0:30:32.880 --> 0:30:36.120 was this sort of slow realization that it was just 0:30:36.800 --> 0:30:39.160 it had gone really well and gone up and was 0:30:39.400 --> 0:30:41.440 blowing up and things are great and it's a hit 0:30:41.480 --> 0:30:44.440 record and now go do another one. 0:30:44.960 --> 0:30:47.920 And how are like, are you psychologically do you have 0:30:47.960 --> 0:30:51.880 the self knowledge to know that this is not this 0:30:51.960 --> 0:30:55.160 is not feeding you the way that you were hoping 0:30:55.240 --> 0:30:55.760 that it would. 0:30:55.960 --> 0:30:59.880 There was a lot of me trying to push it. 0:31:00.040 --> 0:31:01.680 I'd done so much to push. 0:31:01.440 --> 0:31:04.719 It uphill, right of like let me be Erodi, let 0:31:04.720 --> 0:31:07.320 me wear my shirt, let me do this. You know, push, push, push, 0:31:07.640 --> 0:31:10.479 and at a certain point you can't individually push the 0:31:10.520 --> 0:31:11.520 machinery anymore. 0:31:11.720 --> 0:31:14.400 Right, So it got to a. 0:31:14.400 --> 0:31:17.800 Point where you know, I would just I mean I 0:31:17.840 --> 0:31:21.880 had to, you know, really make amends to my manager 0:31:22.280 --> 0:31:25.480 years later because I realized, like I would just call 0:31:25.560 --> 0:31:27.760 him twenty times a day and going have you done this? 0:31:27.880 --> 0:31:29.640 Have you done this? Have you done this have you 0:31:29.680 --> 0:31:30.440 called this person? 0:31:31.160 --> 0:31:34.640 And so I spent a lot of time worrying about 0:31:35.120 --> 0:31:40.200 trying to push it forward and zero time enjoying the 0:31:40.240 --> 0:31:43.960 experience of it, the process of it. It didn't fix me, 0:31:44.120 --> 0:31:47.440 so it had to get bigger to fix me. Like 0:31:47.840 --> 0:31:51.080 I knew then, I knew that if the record sold 0:31:51.080 --> 0:31:54.400 a million records or we had a second hit, then 0:31:55.200 --> 0:31:56.960 you know, and I was playing bigger venues, then I 0:31:57.000 --> 0:31:57.800 would feel better. 0:31:58.280 --> 0:31:59.800 This speaks to a thing I've been thinking about a 0:31:59.840 --> 0:32:02.600 lot lately. Dreams are good for you. They can give 0:32:02.640 --> 0:32:06.520 your life purpose, direction, discipline. But the essential problem with 0:32:06.640 --> 0:32:08.880 dreams is that they don't make sense. 0:32:09.120 --> 0:32:10.440 When you set a big goal. 0:32:11.120 --> 0:32:13.240 You know, when there's like a dream you have for yourself, 0:32:14.960 --> 0:32:19.040 you imagine it happening, but it is happening to some 0:32:20.040 --> 0:32:24.400 future version of you who's like something has been fixed 0:32:24.720 --> 0:32:29.360 in between the dreaming and the event, and ultimately, you know, 0:32:29.440 --> 0:32:32.240 I've achieved a few of the goals that I hope 0:32:32.240 --> 0:32:34.920 to achieve, and it's like that just happens to you. 0:32:35.360 --> 0:32:38.120 It just happens to the dumb version of you who 0:32:38.160 --> 0:32:38.760 was there before. 0:32:39.800 --> 0:32:42.480 Yeah, it happens to the version of you that happened 0:32:42.520 --> 0:32:44.320 yesterday and you don't feel any different. 0:32:44.880 --> 0:32:55.280 Yeah, it's kind of incredible that Peter Stewart can write 0:32:55.320 --> 0:32:57.640 those lyrics I got what I wanted and now my 0:32:57.720 --> 0:33:00.440 life is just boring, and then be surprised when they 0:33:00.520 --> 0:33:03.920 end up being exactly true to his life. Self knowledge 0:33:03.960 --> 0:33:07.600 is a process. But Dog's Eye Views album Happy Nowhere 0:33:07.640 --> 0:33:10.520 stalls after everything falls apart as it's run on the charts. 0:33:10.800 --> 0:33:12.920 They don't even make a second video from that album, 0:33:13.320 --> 0:33:16.040 but they do go back and record a second album, Daisy. 0:33:16.560 --> 0:33:18.000 So that record there. 0:33:17.960 --> 0:33:20.720 Was a combination of things, right, first thing was that 0:33:20.760 --> 0:33:23.920 they weren't promoting it. Second, you know, it didn't have 0:33:23.960 --> 0:33:27.680 an obvious hit on it. Third, the initial the launch 0:33:27.720 --> 0:33:29.920 for that record was, you know, we were going to 0:33:30.000 --> 0:33:35.040 go tour Southeast Asia and Australia and New Zealand with 0:33:35.080 --> 0:33:38.640 Counting Crows, and like a week before, like that's the 0:33:38.640 --> 0:33:41.200 week before the record comes out, and a week before 0:33:41.240 --> 0:33:43.720 the tour, they were like, we're not going to do 0:33:43.800 --> 0:33:46.440 the tour, and they just canceled the tour. So we 0:33:46.440 --> 0:33:52.400 were scrambling. So it just things things weren't working and 0:33:52.400 --> 0:33:56.040 and part of what was happening was also I was 0:33:56.520 --> 0:34:01.080 I was a big periodic binge drinker the time, right, 0:34:01.240 --> 0:34:04.000 So I wasn't you know, I wasn't drinking all the time, 0:34:04.800 --> 0:34:08.560 but I definitely like the last show we did on 0:34:08.600 --> 0:34:11.880 the Happy Nowhere tour, we literally had all flown home, 0:34:12.520 --> 0:34:16.640 and then I landed in Seattle and someone someone caught 0:34:16.680 --> 0:34:19.640 me up and said, there's a radio show in Saint 0:34:19.680 --> 0:34:22.440 Louis tonight that everyone forgot about, so you need to 0:34:22.480 --> 0:34:25.719 fly back to Saint Louis and play. I think it 0:34:25.719 --> 0:34:27.680 was Mississippi Knights was the name of the club. 0:34:27.520 --> 0:34:28.480 Right, and play. 0:34:29.280 --> 0:34:34.040 And so we flew back and playing some radio station 0:34:34.520 --> 0:34:37.880 show for some radio station that wasn't playing us anymore. 0:34:38.160 --> 0:34:41.120 And it was the first time, one of the only times, 0:34:41.160 --> 0:34:46.000 but I got completely blackout drunk on stage. I was 0:34:46.000 --> 0:34:47.759 so pissed off to be there and so done with it. 0:34:48.200 --> 0:34:51.960 And I found out the next day that we that 0:34:52.000 --> 0:34:54.279 we did a three song encore that I had no 0:34:54.400 --> 0:34:57.000 memory of. I'd been on stage playing in a blackout. 0:34:57.320 --> 0:34:59.560 It's a little scary, but it's also a little rock 0:34:59.600 --> 0:35:04.040 and roll until it isn't. We played the DC Chili Cookoff, 0:35:04.280 --> 0:35:07.879 which is yet another you know gig that sounds as 0:35:07.880 --> 0:35:11.239 bad as it is played at noon on a hot 0:35:11.280 --> 0:35:15.760 stage in DC. I was wearing Vinyl motorcycle pants perfect 0:35:15.880 --> 0:35:19.320 and it was I was. I drank a bunch of 0:35:19.360 --> 0:35:24.000 tequila before noon, and during our last song, I jumped 0:35:24.000 --> 0:35:26.880 off an amp and landed, you know, like that classic 0:35:26.960 --> 0:35:30.000 Eddie Vedder thing, Like I grabbed the top of the stage, 0:35:30.680 --> 0:35:33.400 but I'm not strong enough to hang on and i 0:35:33.440 --> 0:35:37.439 can't lift myself up, so I'm literally just hanging there 0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:41.320 and slowly slipping off as I then fall to the 0:35:41.440 --> 0:35:45.080 stage and just crumple. 0:35:45.200 --> 0:35:47.800 Like that big Eddie Vetter stage move. The second album, 0:35:47.880 --> 0:35:52.440 Daisy does not quite land. Columbia Records drops him. Peter's 0:35:52.480 --> 0:35:53.400 on his own again. 0:35:53.719 --> 0:35:56.520 Matchbox twenty would take me out on a tour, playing 0:35:56.600 --> 0:36:00.640 second stages on their arena tour, like on their Amphitheater, right, 0:36:01.000 --> 0:36:03.440 So I would drive the eight hour Hump alone in 0:36:03.480 --> 0:36:05.960 a rental car and then play it two in the 0:36:06.000 --> 0:36:09.840 afternoon on the second stage and then watch my friends play, 0:36:10.320 --> 0:36:13.400 you know, the lights would go down and people and 0:36:13.480 --> 0:36:16.640 I watched them play and I'd think, I'm not this 0:36:16.760 --> 0:36:20.359 is not working, man. I'm not growing. I'm not like, 0:36:20.480 --> 0:36:22.959 I'm not developing as a human. I'm seeing the same 0:36:23.000 --> 0:36:24.080 places over and over. 0:36:24.760 --> 0:36:27.160 I was drinking more because I was miserable. 0:36:27.560 --> 0:36:30.560 Peter gets sober and he likes it. He begins to 0:36:30.560 --> 0:36:33.000 get work as a sober companion for actors who were 0:36:33.000 --> 0:36:35.960 trying not to relapse on set. He gets to travel 0:36:35.960 --> 0:36:37.960 the world, and his cover story is that he's the 0:36:38.000 --> 0:36:39.040 actor's assistant. 0:36:39.440 --> 0:36:41.879 I'm the assistant who in the person says, hey, get 0:36:41.880 --> 0:36:42.600 me a cup of coffee. 0:36:42.640 --> 0:36:42.880 I go. 0:36:43.160 --> 0:36:45.960 You can get your cup of coffee, get your own coffee. 0:36:46.360 --> 0:36:48.080 So when a director turned to me one day, he 0:36:48.120 --> 0:36:50.680 was like, you're the worst assistant I've ever seen. 0:36:50.840 --> 0:36:52.280 Something else is going on here. 0:36:53.480 --> 0:36:55.839 In the meantime, Peter has recorded an album under his 0:36:55.880 --> 0:36:58.879 own name, and the independent label he signed to wants 0:36:58.920 --> 0:37:00.480 him to go off on tour the way that he 0:37:00.520 --> 0:37:03.640 had been driving himself from town to town. But he's 0:37:03.680 --> 0:37:06.320 over that by now, so that album kind of fizzles. 0:37:06.719 --> 0:37:09.960 And it's a shame that Peter stewart solo album, Propeller 0:37:10.400 --> 0:37:13.200 is really good. It's on streaming services. 0:37:13.239 --> 0:37:15.480 Go listen. He'll get two millions of a penny. 0:37:15.840 --> 0:37:18.880 And the final indignity of my interface with the music 0:37:18.920 --> 0:37:23.120 business was literally so I was I had a publishing 0:37:23.160 --> 0:37:27.440 deal at the time, and the publishing deal owed me 0:37:28.120 --> 0:37:30.440 some money, and I didn't have a lot of money left. 0:37:30.840 --> 0:37:34.960 And the label had said, hey, you know what, We're 0:37:34.960 --> 0:37:36.799 going to put the record out, but we're just going 0:37:36.880 --> 0:37:40.120 to put it out digitally on our digital store. And 0:37:40.200 --> 0:37:42.160 I said, and I talked to the publishing company and 0:37:42.160 --> 0:37:45.239 they said, your contract stipulates that there has to be 0:37:45.360 --> 0:37:48.960 one physical record in one physical store or we. 0:37:48.920 --> 0:37:49.600 Don't pay you. 0:37:50.560 --> 0:37:52.880 So I had to get the record company to print 0:37:53.400 --> 0:37:56.680 a box of CDs and go put one at Amiba 0:37:56.760 --> 0:38:00.239 Records so that it was in a store that I 0:38:00.239 --> 0:38:02.799 could get paid. And I know they printed, you know, 0:38:02.880 --> 0:38:06.040 maybe I don't know, a couple hundred CDs and I 0:38:06.120 --> 0:38:07.279 have most. 0:38:07.040 --> 0:38:09.160 Of them in my garage. 0:38:10.120 --> 0:38:11.919 But it was just so like on the way out 0:38:11.920 --> 0:38:14.880 the door, it was like, here's the thing you gotta do. 0:38:15.000 --> 0:38:18.040 You gotta beg for them to print a CD so 0:38:18.080 --> 0:38:18.880 you can get paid. 0:38:19.239 --> 0:38:22.239 What had begun with high hopes and ambition ended with 0:38:22.480 --> 0:38:25.600 an errand and that was that for music as a profession. 0:38:26.040 --> 0:38:28.360 Peter went to graduate school to get his masters in 0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:32.360 clinical psychology. He worked in in patient substance abuse treatment 0:38:32.400 --> 0:38:34.800 for a few years and now he's in private practice 0:38:34.840 --> 0:38:36.840 as a therapist in Austin, Texas. 0:38:37.280 --> 0:38:40.920 Does that fill you in the way that you were 0:38:40.960 --> 0:38:47.719 hoping music? Would? You know? Yes? But other things do too. 0:38:48.160 --> 0:38:51.239 Right, if I was looking just to this job for fulfillment, 0:38:51.320 --> 0:38:54.200 it wouldn't be enough, you know. And similarly, you know, 0:38:54.280 --> 0:38:58.040 if I could go way back and have a life 0:38:58.200 --> 0:39:00.440 with other things in it when I was making music, 0:39:00.520 --> 0:39:03.440 maybe I would have been more fulfilled by music, right, 0:39:03.480 --> 0:39:07.080 But because all chips were in on how my record 0:39:07.160 --> 0:39:09.360 was doing on any given day, there was no fulfillment. 0:39:09.719 --> 0:39:13.239 And and now I mean I really not to be 0:39:13.280 --> 0:39:17.760 too cheesy about it, but being sober and really working 0:39:17.800 --> 0:39:21.680 on the underlying issues as a man right as a 0:39:21.760 --> 0:39:24.680 human being, and trying to figure out like trying realizing 0:39:24.760 --> 0:39:27.680 that there's no number of times that can play the 0:39:27.719 --> 0:39:30.880 song that's going to satisfy me. There's no there's nothing 0:39:30.880 --> 0:39:33.839 that's going to fill this void. I have to find 0:39:33.880 --> 0:39:38.160 contentment in other places. And so to me, doing all 0:39:38.200 --> 0:39:41.000 of that work and doing the work to find to 0:39:41.080 --> 0:39:45.879 be comfortable in my own skin and have contentment has 0:39:46.080 --> 0:39:48.319 allowed me to have a family, allowed me to have 0:39:48.320 --> 0:39:50.040 a relationship, and allowed me to have a job that 0:39:50.080 --> 0:39:52.960 I really love doing most of the time. But when 0:39:53.000 --> 0:39:55.120 I don't love doing it, I have other things that 0:39:55.239 --> 0:39:58.320 fill me up, whether it's running or my family. 0:39:58.080 --> 0:39:58.880 Or other things. 0:39:59.360 --> 0:40:01.360 As with a lot of people who decide to get sober, 0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:05.840 Peter's decision was motivated by a moment of clarity. And honestly, 0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:09.160 Peter's moment of clarity it's pretty fucking glamorous. 0:40:09.960 --> 0:40:12.840 You didn't ask this, but I'll answer it just for fun. 0:40:13.320 --> 0:40:16.120 I had a moment like part of my you know, 0:40:16.680 --> 0:40:21.120 moment of clarity, as it were, of deciding to get sober, 0:40:21.239 --> 0:40:23.960 thinking I might need to get sober. I was in 0:40:24.040 --> 0:40:27.399 Las Vegas for a wedding. My girlfriend at the time 0:40:27.440 --> 0:40:30.640 had just dumped me, and I was in Las Vegas 0:40:31.120 --> 0:40:34.200 on a boat on Lake Mead or whatever it's called 0:40:34.280 --> 0:40:38.560 lake whatever, the fake lake is out there sitting on 0:40:38.600 --> 0:40:43.319 the roof of the boat, tripping on ecstasy, and I 0:40:43.400 --> 0:40:46.400 had this, you know, I was on ecstasy sitting in 0:40:46.440 --> 0:40:46.800 the boat. 0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:47.960 I felt amazing. 0:40:48.040 --> 0:40:51.280 Everything was great, and my friend, who had a bunch 0:40:51.320 --> 0:40:54.600 of drugs with him, was swimming from the one boat 0:40:54.600 --> 0:40:57.160 to the other boat, and I knew he was bringing 0:40:57.200 --> 0:41:00.839 more drugs. And as I was to come down from 0:41:00.880 --> 0:41:04.880 the ecstasy. I started thinking, you know what, there's not 0:41:05.120 --> 0:41:07.719 enough ecstasy in the world to keep me feeling the 0:41:07.719 --> 0:41:11.160 way I'm feeling. And there's not enough there aren't enough 0:41:11.320 --> 0:41:13.759 women in the world or relationships in the world to 0:41:13.880 --> 0:41:16.840 keep me happy, and there's not enough money in the world. 0:41:17.280 --> 0:41:21.320 I have to fundamentally change everything and not be looking 0:41:21.360 --> 0:41:24.360 for something else to make me happy. And then and 0:41:24.400 --> 0:41:28.719 then I had this debate with myself where I said, 0:41:29.000 --> 0:41:32.360 what if and this is my big fear, Right, what 0:41:32.560 --> 0:41:35.959 if I get happy and I no longer have many 0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:37.839 songs to write? Right? 0:41:38.080 --> 0:41:39.040 What happens? Then? 0:41:39.200 --> 0:41:41.920 Am I willing to make that deal? And I didn't 0:41:41.960 --> 0:41:44.160 know that was going to happen. But if i'm what if? 0:41:44.200 --> 0:41:46.319 I what if it happens? Am I willing to make 0:41:46.360 --> 0:41:48.200 that deal? And I just had it. 0:41:48.200 --> 0:41:51.560 I was right. I was like, you know what, fuck it? 0:41:51.760 --> 0:41:55.239 If it's that, if I have to be If contentment 0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:57.839 and happiness means I never write another song, I'll take 0:41:57.880 --> 0:41:58.720 it because I can't. 0:41:59.120 --> 0:42:02.520 I'm so fucking miserable that I can't do that. 0:42:03.000 --> 0:42:05.080 And as it turned out, I feel like I wrote 0:42:05.080 --> 0:42:11.000 my best songs after I got sober. But in a way, 0:42:11.160 --> 0:42:13.960 later as as I've eased out of it. You know, 0:42:14.000 --> 0:42:16.840 I've written probably three songs in the last fifteen years 0:42:17.400 --> 0:42:20.840 because I don't have There's just nothing I want to 0:42:21.400 --> 0:42:22.799 I'm not in that pain, I'm not. 0:42:22.719 --> 0:42:23.560 In that turmoil. 0:42:24.080 --> 0:42:26.120 The day after I spoke with Peter, he emailed me, 0:42:26.280 --> 0:42:28.400 and I'm just going to read his email out loud. 0:42:29.239 --> 0:42:31.000 I woke up with a memory of something that I 0:42:31.040 --> 0:42:33.200 wished i'd said on the podcast. Don't know if you 0:42:33.200 --> 0:42:36.560 can add more later. Basic gist was this realization I had. 0:42:36.560 --> 0:42:39.160 And let's say two thousand and seven or so, I 0:42:39.239 --> 0:42:42.160 was doing a sober companion gig in Australia and I 0:42:42.200 --> 0:42:44.520 was running on a hotel treadmill, looking at the Sydney 0:42:44.560 --> 0:42:47.160 Harbor and thinking about my music career. I must have 0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:49.760 been listening to music, and suddenly I had the thought 0:42:49.960 --> 0:42:52.240 that at any point in the early to mid nineties 0:42:52.440 --> 0:42:55.040 I would have gladly traded my career and life for 0:42:55.080 --> 0:42:58.840 the critical acclaim and songwriting talent of Elliott Smith or 0:42:58.880 --> 0:43:02.399 the voice, critical ACA and success of Jeff Buckley. Yet 0:43:02.440 --> 0:43:04.920 here I was running with a beautiful view of Sydney 0:43:05.200 --> 0:43:06.440 and they were both dead. 0:43:07.560 --> 0:43:08.840 It's funny to think about. 0:43:08.640 --> 0:43:10.640 What we're sure we want at the time and how 0:43:10.719 --> 0:43:12.839 lucky we turn out to be not to get it. 0:43:14.360 --> 0:43:17.040 So I have some leads on the guys from Sudden Impact. 0:43:17.080 --> 0:43:20.120 Aside from Dave Smith, I have an interview request out 0:43:20.120 --> 0:43:23.080 to Michael Bivens. I am inching closer to finding out 0:43:23.120 --> 0:43:26.280 what happened to those guys. But as that story comes together, 0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:30.719 the other bigger mystery still eludes me. Why does this 0:43:30.760 --> 0:43:33.160 story have meaning for me? Why can't I stop thinking 0:43:33.200 --> 0:43:35.560 about it? As I often do when I'm in need 0:43:35.560 --> 0:43:37.840 of guidance. I call my friend Scott Gimpo and we 0:43:37.880 --> 0:43:38.880 talk about pop music. 0:43:39.400 --> 0:43:44.880 We grew up with records that stayed on the charts years, 0:43:46.239 --> 0:43:51.000 but I mean like kids that went once yeah. 0:43:50.560 --> 0:43:53.680 And now is it a volume game? 0:43:53.800 --> 0:43:56.759 Is it just there's so much stuff? It is? 0:43:56.960 --> 0:43:58.960 It's that there's so much stuff. And then it's also 0:44:00.280 --> 0:44:03.760 you buy something or no, actually you don't anymore? 0:44:04.320 --> 0:44:05.160 If you stream. 0:44:05.000 --> 0:44:08.080 Something, yeah, like it was, you know, you saved up 0:44:08.120 --> 0:44:10.280 a little bit of money and you bought the cassette 0:44:10.360 --> 0:44:12.880 or the CD, and then it was there to remind 0:44:12.880 --> 0:44:14.400 you that you had it, and you could listen to 0:44:14.440 --> 0:44:17.480 it right and play it in your car, and then 0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:19.040 that reminds your friend, Oh I got to pick I 0:44:19.080 --> 0:44:22.280 gotta get that too, And then that lasts like so now, 0:44:22.520 --> 0:44:25.319 even records that I that I stream when they come 0:44:25.360 --> 0:44:30.160 out and love the next day, I've completely forgotten and 0:44:30.160 --> 0:44:31.239 there's nothing to remind me. 0:44:31.320 --> 0:44:36.840 It's just stuff to keep me swimming forward. A simple 0:44:36.880 --> 0:44:40.960 prop to occupy your time, simple to occupy my time. 0:44:41.840 --> 0:44:46.200 You know, we've we've talked about sudden Impact for eighteen 0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:50.840 years now, right, and that's the thing that didn't happen, 0:44:51.040 --> 0:44:53.280 that stayed in our minds well. 0:44:53.640 --> 0:44:58.160 But there was enough of a repeater that of Motown, 0:44:58.200 --> 0:45:02.319 Philly that initially it was like what was that at 0:45:02.320 --> 0:45:04.880 the end, Like oh, wait, that thing's coming up at 0:45:04.880 --> 0:45:06.600 the end, to like oh I can't wait for that 0:45:06.600 --> 0:45:09.759 thing to come out of the end. Yeah, the repetition 0:45:09.840 --> 0:45:14.600 of the video engaged your imagination, and I think that 0:45:14.800 --> 0:45:16.320 seared it into our brain forever. 0:45:16.719 --> 0:45:19.600 And then in addition to that, it never being fulfilled. 0:45:19.960 --> 0:45:23.480 Yeah, the mystery of it never been satisfied. 0:45:24.120 --> 0:45:25.920 I don't have a good memory, but I know I'll 0:45:25.960 --> 0:45:29.320 remember that moment the rest of my life from that video, 0:45:29.360 --> 0:45:32.120 and I will never not take a moment to think 0:45:32.120 --> 0:45:36.359 about it. Even if you get closure, whatever the ending is, 0:45:37.120 --> 0:45:40.600 we know that that record didn't come out. It didn't 0:45:41.280 --> 0:45:44.080 there was no music video to follow that up, there 0:45:44.120 --> 0:45:48.480 was no additional move to the point point ended it. 0:45:49.120 --> 0:45:55.680 And thus it's just a prime example of ambition and potential. 0:45:55.800 --> 0:45:58.600 And I don't think it has a negative valance on it. 0:45:59.239 --> 0:46:02.680 I don't look upon its unfulfilled potential or anything like that. 0:46:03.320 --> 0:46:05.560 I just hold it up. I mean, it is amazing, 0:46:05.600 --> 0:46:11.240 but I hold it up as an example of audacious 0:46:11.320 --> 0:46:15.040 creative ambition that I want to aspire to. 0:46:15.600 --> 0:46:18.920 There, Scott has said a word that really resonates with me, 0:46:19.040 --> 0:46:20.960 a word that gets right to the point of what 0:46:21.000 --> 0:46:21.879 I'm trying to say here. 0:46:22.280 --> 0:46:25.840 That word just keeps on coming to mind. Audacious. Wouldn't 0:46:25.840 --> 0:46:27.319 want to be audacious like that? 0:46:27.960 --> 0:46:30.840 This is my moment of clarity. Audacity. 0:46:31.360 --> 0:46:34.280 That is what this show is about, people taking bold 0:46:34.320 --> 0:46:37.520 action and seeing their lives change because of it. If 0:46:37.560 --> 0:46:39.799 VT Nicole Brown showed up at a hotel lobby in 0:46:39.800 --> 0:46:42.160 the middle of the night and sang in her idol's face, 0:46:42.360 --> 0:46:45.120 so did Hayden. Todd and Allen ran up on a 0:46:45.120 --> 0:46:47.040 celebrity and asked him to sign a poster for a 0:46:47.080 --> 0:46:48.640 group that barely existed. 0:46:49.239 --> 0:46:51.120 Aaron Kane hit on someone's girlfriend. 0:46:51.880 --> 0:46:54.480 Audacity is what connects all of the people I have 0:46:54.600 --> 0:46:57.800 spoken to so far. Karen Kilgareth got up on stage 0:46:57.840 --> 0:47:00.720 to do something that scared her to death. Peter Stewart 0:47:00.800 --> 0:47:03.640 struck up a conversation about here Damien Fahe spent two 0:47:03.719 --> 0:47:06.799 hundred dollars its structure. It's why I connect to the 0:47:06.840 --> 0:47:09.440 story of Sudden Impact. The things in my life that 0:47:09.520 --> 0:47:12.680 I'm proudest of my book Esquire getting up at four 0:47:12.760 --> 0:47:15.480 am to do something embarrassing that bought me a new life, 0:47:15.640 --> 0:47:19.080 those are audacious. The things I'm ashamed of, flunking out 0:47:19.080 --> 0:47:21.080 of college because I was in a gay shame spiral 0:47:21.320 --> 0:47:24.880 are failures of audacity. And if I'm sometimes restless at 0:47:24.920 --> 0:47:28.160 this time in my life, if I sometimes find myself aimless, 0:47:28.400 --> 0:47:32.399 it's because I've forgotten my audacity, because we've talked about 0:47:32.400 --> 0:47:33.640 them so much in this episode. 0:47:33.680 --> 0:47:37.760 Let's put it in Counting Crowe's terms. Listen to this yeah. 0:47:40.160 --> 0:47:43.919 Yeah, That yeah is from the very end of rain King. 0:47:44.160 --> 0:47:47.560 From Counting Crowe's debut album August and everything after that 0:47:47.760 --> 0:47:52.000 is the yeah of enthusiasm. Of confidence, of optimism. That 0:47:52.120 --> 0:47:54.560 is Adam Durrett saying I'm gonna be famous and I 0:47:54.680 --> 0:47:55.480 cannot wait. 0:47:56.160 --> 0:47:58.600 That yeah is all of our best selves. 0:47:59.080 --> 0:48:01.960 But too often we get weighed down by self doubt, 0:48:02.200 --> 0:48:06.360 by insecurity, by fear or vanity or shame, and we 0:48:06.480 --> 0:48:12.960 end up like this, yeah, Yeah, that is the yeah 0:48:13.000 --> 0:48:16.360 that ends counting crows a long December just three years later. 0:48:16.960 --> 0:48:19.680 All of life can be summed up by those two yeahs. 0:48:20.440 --> 0:48:22.520 It's easy to be a long December at this time 0:48:22.560 --> 0:48:25.560 in history, but the world needs you at a rain King. 0:48:26.280 --> 0:48:28.040 Rain King is the one who gets out of bed 0:48:28.080 --> 0:48:30.520 when he wants to sleep, the one who goes out 0:48:30.520 --> 0:48:32.920 on a cold Chicago day to paced up flyers for 0:48:32.960 --> 0:48:36.000 his show, the one that goes clear across the country 0:48:36.040 --> 0:48:37.280 with a poster and a demo. 0:48:37.920 --> 0:48:41.799 Be rain King, Friends, I am getting the life lesson I. 0:48:41.800 --> 0:48:43.799 Didn't even know I needed, and I'm getting it from 0:48:43.840 --> 0:48:47.520 Adam Duritz and Sudden Impact. Next time, I'm going to 0:48:47.560 --> 0:48:49.719 talk to a guy who joined Sudden Impact in their 0:48:49.760 --> 0:48:54.000 final form, the one that actually finally released music. And 0:48:54.200 --> 0:48:56.479 because I am going rain King from here on out, 0:48:56.760 --> 0:48:58.800 I'm going to track down one of the most famous 0:48:58.800 --> 0:49:02.520 faces in music via history, A guy who inspired a 0:49:02.600 --> 0:49:05.800 million swoons, and I know that because about four hundred 0:49:05.880 --> 0:49:07.160 thousand of them came from me. 0:49:08.120 --> 0:49:11.160 Baby, Baby, you do not want to miss the next. 0:49:10.920 --> 0:49:19.320 Episode of Waiting for Impact, a Dave Holmes passion project. 0:49:20.719 --> 0:49:24.160 This has been an exactly Right production written by me 0:49:24.480 --> 0:49:29.680 Dave Holmes, produced by Hannah Kyle Crichton, recorded, mixed and 0:49:29.840 --> 0:49:34.239 sound designed by Andrew Epen. Additional engineering and assembly by 0:49:34.239 --> 0:49:39.880 Analise Nelson. Music by Ben Wise, artwork by Garrett Ross. 0:49:40.719 --> 0:49:45.160 Executive produced by Karen Kilgareff, Georgia hard Stark and Danielle Kramer. 0:49:46.080 --> 0:49:49.920 Follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at exactly 0:49:50.040 --> 0:49:54.000 right and follow me at Dave Holmes. For more information, 0:49:54.080 --> 0:49:58.240 go to Exactlyrightmedia dot com. Binge The show ad free 0:49:58.360 --> 0:50:01.840 on Stitcher Premium for a free month. Head to Stitcher 0:50:01.880 --> 0:50:05.800 Premium dot com slash impact and enter promo code Impact 0:50:05.840 --> 0:50:09.680 when you select a monthly plan, listen, subscribe and leave 0:50:09.760 --> 0:50:13.320 us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you 0:50:13.440 --> 0:50:16.720 get your podcasts