1 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: There's a song from the mid nineties that I keep 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:09,400 Speaker 1: coming back to. It's called Everything Falls Apart from a 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: band called Dog's Eye View. 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 2: Fall then Against the Shadow Food. 5 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,119 Speaker 1: In fact, it's about being young and frustrated and a 6 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: little bit self destructive, which I for sure was at 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 1: the time. It came out in nineteen ninety five, right 8 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: when Sudden Impacts relationship with Michael Bivens was falling apart, 9 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: and its lyrics, whether or not the writer knew it 10 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: at the time, are ripped from real life. Dog's Eye 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 1: View was a band started by a guy named Peter Stewart. 12 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: Peter had always wanted to be a rock star, to 13 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: have a song on the radio, to have a video 14 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 1: in rotation on MTV. He'd seen that bon Jovi video 15 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: Wanted Dead or Alive, where they're touring the world in 16 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 1: private planes and playing to stadiums, and he said, that's 17 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: for me. 18 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 2: That will make me a whole person. 19 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,279 Speaker 1: And as Everything Falls Apart began to take off that 20 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: wish like it was just about to come true. He 21 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: remembers a moment in Paris during a European tour when 22 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 1: he heard what he had always dreamed of hearing. 23 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 3: So We're playing four nights there and maybe night two. 24 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 3: You know this is pre international cell phone, maybe night two. 25 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 3: I go down and there's a payphone downstairs, and I'm 26 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 3: told that my manager wants to talk to me. 27 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,040 Speaker 1: Dog's eye View had toured with Counting Crows the year 28 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: Counting Crows blew up. Adam Duritz even wore a Dog's 29 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: Eye View T shirt on the cover of Rolling Stone. 30 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: But what Peter wanted for himself to have a video 31 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,040 Speaker 1: on the air on MTV had remained just out of reach. 32 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 2: And so do do do? 33 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 4: Do? 34 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 2: Do? Do? 35 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 3: Call him up long distance and he says, I have 36 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 3: great news. MTV added you. You're in the buzz bin. 37 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 3: They're playing it six times, sixteen times a week. I 38 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 3: remember this clear as day. 39 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 2: Right. 40 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: The video for Everything Falls Apart didn't just get added 41 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: to MTV's rotation. It got added to the buzz a 42 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,919 Speaker 1: thing MTV did from nineteen eighty seven until it stopped 43 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: playing music videos. The buzzbind was a seal of approval 44 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: from the network, like a verified blue check mark that 45 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: said this is an artist to keep your eye on. 46 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: Other buzzband artists from around this time were Dave Matthews, 47 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: band Stone Temple, pilots, counting crows themselves. Dog's eye View 48 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 1: had arrived. Peter Stewart had gotten exactly what he wanted. 49 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: A video on MTV sixteen times a week. Guess what 50 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: happened next? And I said, wow, why not twenty of course? 51 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,680 Speaker 2: Right? Yeah? Was it? 52 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 3: That was like there was no moment of jubilation. There 53 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 3: was no there wasn't like there was no arrival. It 54 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 3: was fucking devastating because it was like, I need more, 55 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 3: like that's not that's not enough. 56 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to talk to Peter Stewart about the Dog's 57 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 1: Eye View experience, what was good, what fell apart, and 58 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: where he is now, and I will continue on my 59 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: quest to track down all of Sudden Impact, a group 60 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 1: for whom everything fell apart before it even had a 61 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: chance to come together. This is Waiting for Impact, a 62 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 1: Dave Holmes passion project. So here is where we stand. 63 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: I have spoken with Aaron Kane, the lead singer of 64 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: Sudden Impact, who started as Too Special and later became 65 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: White Guys, and then even later became the Outsiders and 66 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: then also became Outsiders for life. He has given me 67 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: his part of the Sudden Impact story that It all 68 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: started with a poster that they showed to Michael Bivins, 69 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: who signed them to Capitol Records and put them in 70 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: Boys to Men's Motown, Philly video before he even heard 71 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: them sing. I've spoken to Tim Byrd, the group's producer 72 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: and some say, the sixth member of Sudden Impact. He 73 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: confirms all of the above, which is wild, and he's 74 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 1: told me more of the story how the group left 75 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: Capital to go to Bivin's biv ten Records, who then 76 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: dropped them, and how they then got signed to Boys 77 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 1: to Men's label Stone Creek, which then folded entirely. Aaron 78 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: and his brother Noel left the group after that, and 79 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: two new members joined. I've tracked one of them down 80 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: and I'm going to see if he'll speak to me 81 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: about the whole thing. I also have an email into 82 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: Sudden IMPACT's main songwriter, Todd White. No answer yet, but 83 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 1: while we wait, let's get into Peter Stewart. I loved 84 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: Dog's Eye View in the mid nineties when I was 85 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: feeling very alone and very confused, Having his voice in 86 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: my ears honestly kept me going. He was alone and 87 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: confused too, and if he had found his place in 88 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: the world. 89 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 2: That meant I could too. 90 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: Peter had dreams of stardom, he had plans, he had persistence. 91 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: But I think what I really connected to about him, 92 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: what really inspired me, was his ambition. 93 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,280 Speaker 2: I'm in awe of people who just decid. 94 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: Guide what they want from life, no matter how unrealistic 95 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: or improbable, and don't let anything stop them from getting it. 96 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 1: I think it's why I'm attracted to the sudden Impact story. Honestly, 97 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: if I were those guys, I would have thrown in 98 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,160 Speaker 1: the towel three names ago. 99 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 2: They kept pushing, and I admire that. So did Peter. 100 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: Peter got into music with a head full esteem, but 101 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,160 Speaker 1: it was what was on his head that might have 102 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: made the difference. 103 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 3: This is where my entire life turns on Jewish hair. 104 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: Later in this episode you will learn how the sensible 105 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: Long Island buzz cut of Peter Stewart met the infamous 106 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:39,280 Speaker 1: San Francisco hair extravaganza of Counting Crows Adam Duritz and 107 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,599 Speaker 1: changed his life forever. But before that chance meeting with 108 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: a famous quoth, Peter was figuring himself out. He was 109 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: just out of Northwestern University, playing music, living in a 110 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 1: basement apartment in Chicago. That basement apartment, by the way, 111 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: with its high windows through which Peter had a view 112 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: of people's feet as they walked past, would eventually provide 113 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: the name he would go on to record under Dog's 114 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: Eye View, but at the time he had not yet 115 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,280 Speaker 1: settled on a good name for the folky acoustic sound 116 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:06,039 Speaker 1: he was developing. 117 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 3: I think we were either called the gravity Beavers at 118 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 3: that point or Monster, both terrible names for what we 119 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 3: were doing. Monster is a bad name in that I 120 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 3: think people think you're going to show up and be heavy, 121 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 3: and then you show up with an acoustic guitar and 122 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 3: and you know, it's sort of you look even less cool. 123 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 3: But yeah, So I was playing in bands and doing 124 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 3: a lot of I don't know if you ever did this, 125 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 3: a lot of putting like a mix of I think 126 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:40,479 Speaker 3: it was flour and water together and hanging posters on 127 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 3: light poles to you know, for your band, Like you know, 128 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 3: pre Internet, pre all that stuff. You'd literally go with 129 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 3: a bucket of this goop and hundreds of pieces of 130 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,160 Speaker 3: paper and go around to all the light poles in 131 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 3: the neighborhoods in Chicago and put up these posters for 132 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,719 Speaker 3: for your band, and in winter in. 133 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 2: Chic that's a really cold option. That's a really cold 134 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 2: thing to do. 135 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: But you needed that kind of gumption if you were 136 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: going to make it in the early nineties, and as 137 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,679 Speaker 1: we know from sudd An impact, if the right person 138 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: sees the right poster, this guy's the limit. After a 139 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: couple of years on his grind in Chicago, he determined 140 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: that he was ready for the big time. He packed 141 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: up and moved to New York with a pretty sweet 142 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,679 Speaker 1: opportunity right off the bat. 143 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 3: I'd been talking to this woman at a record company 144 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 3: called Imago for months and she was, you know, yeah, 145 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 3: come to New York. 146 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 2: I'll get you a gig. Come to New York. I'll get 147 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 2: you a gig. 148 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 3: And she kept saying, you know, every every Tuesday. I 149 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 3: think it, well, I don't know if it's Monday or Tuesday. 150 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 3: Every xt day of the week. There's this guy named 151 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 3: Jeff Buckley. He plays at this place called Shane. I'll 152 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 3: get you a gig. Play before him. You'll see, you know, 153 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 3: you'll play to tons of people. He's the thing in 154 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 3: New York right now, right, I've never heard Jeff Buckley 155 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 3: at this point. Great, so I literally moved to New 156 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 3: York and she gives me this gig at Shane, and 157 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 3: I am, this is it right? 158 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 2: This is one of many? This is it? That we're 159 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 2: not it? 160 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 3: But I get there and my first night there, I 161 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 3: go down to Shnee. This is my big gig and 162 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 3: it's literally Shane who ran Shane, and like someone making 163 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 3: coffee and a person because for the first week ever, 164 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 3: Jeff's run has ended. Jeff had finished, he'd finished a 165 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 3: big finale the week before. He's done with Shane, and 166 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 3: he's moved on to greener pastors and off to make Grace. 167 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 3: So my first big gig was literally like thud. 168 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 1: Kiss that is last Goodbye from the classic album Grace 169 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: that Jeff Buckley had just left Shane to make. And 170 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 1: that voice is why Jeff Buckley influenced a whole generation 171 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: of singer songwriters, including Peter Stewart. We'll come back to 172 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: Jeff Buckley a bit later in the show, but for now, 173 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: like me in New York in the mid nineties, Peter 174 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: is tempting to pay the bill. He's getting some stage 175 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: time where he can, and what happens next is a 176 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: real ride. 177 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 3: A friend of mine called me and asked me to 178 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 3: open for a band, an Irish band called The Fat 179 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 3: Lady Sayings, And so I went down I can't even 180 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 3: remember where. It was, some tiny club and I went 181 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 3: down to open for them, and it was fine and 182 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 3: they were cool, but they were taking five to ten 183 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 3: minutes between every song to tune their guitars and like 184 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 3: get their shit together. And they were playing the next 185 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 3: night opening for of all people, Howard Jones at like 186 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 3: the Beacon or somewhere, and I was like, you guys 187 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,679 Speaker 3: need some You need a roadie, You need someone to 188 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 3: hand you guitars and tune guitars. And they're like, oh, 189 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 3: that'd be great. 190 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 2: Can you do that? 191 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, absolutely, So I went up and 192 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 3: did that for them, and at the end of that show, 193 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 3: they were like, look, we're going off on this two 194 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 3: month tour of the state. We could use a roadie. 195 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 3: You can open gigs for us if you do it. 196 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 2: How about it? Yes? Absolutely. 197 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: The band and the sound guy and Peter tour the States. 198 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: Seven people, four of them chainsmokers, one van. The tour 199 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: is not boring. 200 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 3: They were sleeping on people's floors in Boston. They were 201 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 3: sleeping on floors of some people who are running guns 202 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 3: for the IRA, so there was a lot of weaponry around. 203 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 2: Terrific. 204 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 3: We came back to New York where they played Cafe 205 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 3: Wah as an Irish band opening for a funk band 206 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 3: on Funk Night, which was not great. The singer broke 207 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 3: his arm skiing in the middle of the tour, after 208 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 3: we'd had to send the road the sound guy home 209 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 3: because he had a mental break, full psychotic episode. Then 210 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 3: the singer broke his arm and I had to play 211 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 3: guitar for them. 212 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 2: It was a very exciting tour, but through. 213 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 1: All of it, Peter is listening to a cause that 214 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: of a record that hasn't been released yet. 215 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 3: I had had an advanced copy of the first Counting 216 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,599 Speaker 3: Crows record, August and Everything after someone a friend of 217 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 3: mine who worked at Gefen, had given me a cassette 218 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,200 Speaker 3: and I was obsessed with it. I loved it, and 219 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 3: it was before it had come out. I was just 220 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 3: it killed me right. It was right in my vein 221 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 3: of what I like to do and I like to hear. 222 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,320 Speaker 3: And so in the middle of this Fat Lady Singhs 223 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 3: tour they were playing. They were the second opening act 224 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 3: for Counting Crows at St. Andrew's Hall in Detroit, and 225 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 3: it was Counting Crow's first ever headlining gig outside of California. 226 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: Peter is a big Counting Crows fan at this point, 227 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 1: he's dying to share a bill with them, So, like 228 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,319 Speaker 1: Todd and Allen of Sudden Impact, with a dream in 229 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 1: their hearts and a poster in their hands, he takes 230 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 1: a chance. 231 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 3: I said, look, I know there are two other opening 232 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,319 Speaker 3: acts I need to play on this gig. I love 233 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 3: this fucking band. Let me play on this gig. And 234 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 3: someone relented and said, you can play literally at seven 235 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 3: o'clock when the door's open, doors open, you play fifteen minutes. 236 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 2: So great. 237 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: I'm on the keg fifteen minutes of stage time at 238 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: seven pm, before anyone's even left their homes to come 239 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,199 Speaker 1: to the venue, while the bartender is still cutting up limes. 240 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 1: But it's enough to give him a little swagger when 241 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: he has that important interaction that hinges on Jewish hair. 242 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 3: So before the show, we're up in the dressing room. 243 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 3: Since just sort of one communal dressing room and Counting 244 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 3: Crows are not known at this point, there's been no 245 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,720 Speaker 3: radio play, there's nothing. They're just building up and I 246 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:37,679 Speaker 3: see Adam from across the room, and I walked up 247 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:40,400 Speaker 3: to him and I said, hey, how are you doing. 248 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,839 Speaker 3: I'm the opening act, right, which is way better than 249 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 3: saying like I'm a big fan. So I said, hey, 250 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 3: I'm the opening act. 251 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 2: My name is Peter. 252 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 3: He's like, oh, hey, great, great, nice to meet. I 253 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 3: was like, listen, I've always wanted dreadlocks. How long did 254 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 3: it take you to grow those? He was like about 255 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 3: like three hours. 256 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 2: Man. I was like, what do you mean. 257 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 3: He's like, it's a weave, it's it's I was like, 258 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 3: all my life I could have had dreadlocks if I 259 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 3: just like spent money. 260 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: Peter and Adam Durrettz get friendly. They exchanged phone numbers, 261 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: and because this is a time in history when you 262 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,719 Speaker 1: would talk on the phone, they do. 263 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 3: And a few weeks later they were coming to maybe 264 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,839 Speaker 3: a month later, I'm not sure how long. They were 265 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 3: coming to New York to play a gig at Wetlands. 266 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 3: The night before they played Saturday Night Live, and somehow 267 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 3: I was you know, I was pushy and doing a 268 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 3: lot of finaggling. So I basically said, hey, I have 269 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 3: a band, can we open for you at Wetlands? 270 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 2: It's like, you're sure open for us at Wetlands. That'd 271 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 2: be great. And I think what it may have even 272 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 2: been worse than that. 273 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 3: I think there was someone opening for them, and then 274 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 3: they played, and then we closed for them at Wetlands, right, 275 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 3: so after everybody left, we started playing. 276 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 2: But again it was one of those things like I 277 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:53,839 Speaker 2: just want to be in the game. 278 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 1: A few days later, Peter's phone rings, and again, because 279 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: this is a time when people talk on their phones, 280 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:00,319 Speaker 1: Peter picks up. 281 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:04,560 Speaker 3: Adam called me or his manager called someone did and said, look, 282 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 3: we had an opening act for two weeks. You know, 283 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 3: we're going off on the Northeast tour. We had an 284 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 3: opening act. He just dropped out. Can you do two 285 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 3: weeks of touring with us solo? It's like, yeah, yes, 286 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 3: I can't. Yeah, absolutely it can. So I was along 287 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 3: for this ride where count Crows were this cool band 288 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 3: and there I loved their record, and they're playing the Wetlands, 289 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,960 Speaker 3: which was a little club, and we played and and 290 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 3: I was going to go off on tour with him 291 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 3: the next you know, the day after Saturday Night Live, 292 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 3: and they played Saturday Night Live and it just went. 293 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 2: It just changed, right, It immediately. You know. 294 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 3: I was on tour with them, and it went from 295 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 3: like playing the Wetlands to playing a bigger place to 296 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,840 Speaker 3: the small place you're still booked in is packed and 297 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 3: everyone like, all of a sudden, you could feel this 298 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 3: thing rolling. 299 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 2: It's very rare. 300 00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:00,040 Speaker 3: That a band has like a meteoric rise like the 301 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 3: Crows had. 302 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 2: And I rode that. I rode that whole thing. You know. 303 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 3: It was like they're on the cover of Rolling Stone, 304 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 3: They're on cover of Spin, They're on you know, all 305 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 3: these things they're doing, like these TV shows, and I 306 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 3: got to be along. 307 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: For all of it, right, and just like yeah, yeah, 308 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 1: And they're not just on the cover of Rolling Stone. 309 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: Adam Durretz is on the cover of Rolling Stone in 310 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 1: a Dog's Eye view T shirt. 311 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 3: Yes, which again goes to how annoyingly uh in it? 312 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 2: For myself I was. 313 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 3: I mean, I was just constantly pushing, like which I 314 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 3: think you have to do to some degree. But it's 315 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 3: like I'm the guy going, oh, well, what you need 316 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 3: is for me to come on the road and roady 317 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 3: for you and open for you, right, and and Adam's 318 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 3: about to go do the you know, his first ever 319 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,000 Speaker 3: like magazine cover shoot, and I'm like, so, so you're 320 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 3: gonna wear my shirt? 321 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 1: Right? 322 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 2: Can you please wear my shirt? Well? 323 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: It worked, it did, but it's it's you know, okay, sure, yeah, 324 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: it's a little cringey in retrospect. But as we've learned 325 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 1: by now, even the least probable, even the wildest kind 326 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: of ambition, can pay off. Peter Stewart has found himself 327 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: in the right place at the right time, and that's 328 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: because he's made the decision to be everywhere. Roadying for 329 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 1: bands and playing for empty rooms brought him luck, but 330 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: it was luck that he manifested through bold action. And 331 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 1: this brings me back to an aspect of my own 332 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 1: personal story that still kind of scares me a little bit. 333 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: In nineteen ninety eight, I made the decision to show 334 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: up at fifteen fifteen Broadway to audition to be a 335 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 1: VJ on MTV. This is a decision that has fundamentally 336 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: changed the entire course of my life to the point 337 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: that I honestly don't know where or who I would 338 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: be if I hadn't gone. It gave me the life 339 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: I have now, and the thing that haunts me about it, 340 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,880 Speaker 1: the thing that I think about at three am, when 341 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 1: I can't get back to sleep. Is how close I 342 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 1: came to not going. Here's the deal. The first day 343 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 1: of those auditions at MTV was the day after Easter. 344 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: I had spent Easter with my group of friends in 345 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 1: New York City, where we'd cooked bacon and eggs and 346 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,040 Speaker 1: taken the Staten Island ferry back and forth because you 347 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 1: couldn't afford brunch in the circle line. I didn't tell 348 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,679 Speaker 1: any of them what I was planning on doing. It 349 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,119 Speaker 1: felt so foolish, like a thing a child would do. 350 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 1: I figured there would be a lot of big characters 351 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 1: showing up for this thing, so a guy like me, 352 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 1: kind of a low key everyman music nerd, would have 353 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,919 Speaker 1: to be seen early before the casting people got tired 354 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 1: of faces and voices. 355 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 2: So I set an alarm for four AM. 356 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,919 Speaker 1: And when that alarm clock screamed at me that morning, 357 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 1: those tall red digital letters spelling out four too, my 358 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: eyes burning and my body horizontal and cozy, I said. 359 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 2: What am I doing? I'm twenty seven, I have a job. 360 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,879 Speaker 1: It's time for me to put aside childish things like 361 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,159 Speaker 1: showing up and trying to be a VJ for a 362 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 1: network who's demographic I aged out of a month ago. 363 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 1: Who does this? How foolish? Go back to sleep and 364 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: then go to work like a man. I turned off 365 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,480 Speaker 1: the alarm. I blinked a heavy, sleepy blink, and then 366 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,359 Speaker 1: another longer one, a third blink, and I would have 367 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,479 Speaker 1: gone back to sleep. My eyes would have just stayed 368 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 1: closed until it was time to go to my regular job, 369 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,679 Speaker 1: and I would have gone about the business of a 370 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:07,720 Speaker 1: regular day. I would have missed my chance. I don't 371 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: know what it is that got me out of bed. 372 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: I know I didn't want to get out of bed, 373 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: but I did, and I showered, and I put on 374 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 1: a black, tunicy kind of shirt that I guess I 375 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 1: thought was trendy, and I took a taxi to Times Square, 376 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: where I was one hundred and sixty eighth in line. 377 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,199 Speaker 1: We got brought into the studio in groups of twelve, 378 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,400 Speaker 1: and when my group was called in, I was at 379 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 1: audition Station seven, where the casting guy saw something in 380 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,520 Speaker 1: me and sent me to another room where I talked 381 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 1: to more casting people for a half hour or so, 382 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: and then they told me they'd call by Tuesday at 383 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 1: midnight if I made the top ten. And they called 384 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: at eleven fifty seven pm on Tuesday, and I borrowed 385 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 1: a good going out shirt from one of my roommates, 386 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: and I showed up the next morning, and then I 387 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 1: made the top five and they gave me access to 388 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,159 Speaker 1: the wardrobe room, where I got to wear some of 389 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,440 Speaker 1: Matt Pinfield's bowling shirts for the rest of the process because. 390 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 2: We were the same size. 391 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,880 Speaker 1: I got to practice Awards show podium banter on Live 392 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,200 Speaker 1: TV with Pauli Shore. 393 00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,919 Speaker 2: I think I made a biodome jo. 394 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 1: Kathy Griffin did a challenge where she was a different 395 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,679 Speaker 1: kind of difficult interview for each of us. We had 396 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 1: to run across the street to the Virgin Megastore and 397 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,720 Speaker 1: grab our three favorite albums and defend them. 398 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,720 Speaker 2: Mine were the first Benfolds five record, day, Las Souls. 399 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: Three Feet High in Rising, and Tommy Keene's songs from 400 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: the film Perfect Now. It was obvious seeing Jesse Camp, 401 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 1: this tall, beautiful, eighteen year old weirdo, that he was 402 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 1: gonna win. He was a character, and that took the 403 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 1: pressure off of me. I relaxed, I enjoyed myself. I 404 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: bantered with Kurt Loder. I sasked him back when he 405 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,119 Speaker 1: said he hated Paul McCartney in Wings? How can you 406 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,719 Speaker 1: hate Paul McCartney in Wings? And the voters voted and 407 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: I lost, And I said, Dave, have your emotions about 408 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: this later. Now it's time to put a smile on 409 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: your face and go to the after party and start 410 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: trying to get in some other way. And I did, 411 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: and I pushed, and now I'm here. I wouldn't be here. 412 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,199 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be doing this right now, being in this 413 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 1: room talking into this microphone if I had blinked that 414 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 1: third time. 415 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 2: So I guess the moral here is say yes, get. 416 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,439 Speaker 1: Up early for that stupid audition, Print up your poster, 417 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 1: even if there's nothing for that poster to promote. Ask 418 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 1: a famous friend to wear your T shirt, make a 419 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: T shirt, take a chance. 420 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 2: Success often really does. 421 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 1: Come down to being in the right place at the 422 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: right time, and there will never be a right time 423 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 1: for your right place to be bad. So Peter Stewart 424 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,479 Speaker 1: and Dog's Eye View are on tour with Counting Crows, 425 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,440 Speaker 1: the band that is becoming the biggest band in America, 426 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,119 Speaker 1: and the buzz is growing for Dog's Eye View as well. 427 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 1: What were you hoping? Was it fame that excited you. 428 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,399 Speaker 1: Was it connection with an audience that excited you? What 429 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:51,719 Speaker 1: about your music, like, what was the impact you were 430 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:52,400 Speaker 1: hoping to make. 431 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,359 Speaker 3: Well, it's complicated, right, and I've had a lot of 432 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 3: time to think about it, so I'm not sure. At 433 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,120 Speaker 3: the time, it was a combination of a couple things, right, 434 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,640 Speaker 3: So in it, in the roots of it, it started 435 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 3: with a combination of I was incredibly depressed, very lonely 436 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:13,959 Speaker 3: teenage boy, right, and I picked up the guitar. And 437 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 3: the first thing that happened to me musically in a 438 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 3: lot of ways was you know, my dad had died 439 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 3: when I was really young. I had all this stuff 440 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,560 Speaker 3: around it. I picked up a guitar and then someone 441 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 3: turned me on to Cat Stevens and the song Father 442 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 3: and Son, and it was the first time I ever 443 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 3: felt like heard and understood and and and music immediately 444 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 3: became this thing where I felt less alone in the world, right, 445 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 3: and I felt like I got. 446 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 2: It and it moved me so deeply. 447 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 3: So part of it was wanting to participate in that, right, 448 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,920 Speaker 3: wanting to be moved by music, and wanting to move 449 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,040 Speaker 3: people and wanting to you know, explore that. And part 450 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 3: of it was you know, sort of self therapy. Right, 451 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 3: write sad songs about sad things I'm feeling, and I 452 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 3: feel like less sad and if anyone, if it communicates 453 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 3: with anyone, great. 454 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,400 Speaker 2: That's mixed almost fifty to fifty with. 455 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:17,120 Speaker 3: Being around at the inception of MTV, right and and 456 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 3: I wish that this was less the case right for coolness. 457 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 3: But part of it was the Wanted Dead or Alive 458 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 3: music video by Bonchovi. 459 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 2: Right. 460 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 3: I was, you know, sitting in my room. I'm you know, 461 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,880 Speaker 3: I'm in high school or junior higher high school, and 462 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 3: there are all these shots of like, you know, like 463 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,919 Speaker 3: guys getting into like limos and guys getting into planes 464 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,159 Speaker 3: and guys getting girls, and you know, I've seen a 465 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 3: million faces and I've rocked them all. It's like, fuck yeah, 466 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 3: fuck yes, that's what I want. 467 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 1: Right. 468 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 3: So, so it's this weird combination of those two things. 469 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,679 Speaker 3: And on the darker side, which comes out, you know, 470 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:04,199 Speaker 3: sort of proves itself later, you know. So much of 471 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 3: it was the chase, like I just want to get 472 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 3: a record out, I just want people to hear me. 473 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 3: I just want that thing. But there was some internal 474 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 3: thing where I thought that that would fix me. Right, 475 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 3: I thought that would make everything okay, And I really, 476 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 3: you know, I couldn't have articulated that to you at 477 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 3: that point, but there was this element of like, well, 478 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 3: surely Jon bon Jovi stepping onto that plane, you know, 479 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,399 Speaker 3: or in his leather pants, or you know, seeing a 480 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 3: million faces and I rocked them all on that stage 481 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 3: has no problems, right, Totally, life is you know, heaven 482 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 3: opens up and you feel amazing all the time. So 483 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,919 Speaker 3: so part of it was that, right, I really thought 484 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,639 Speaker 3: that if I had a record out and or a 485 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 3: hit single, all problems solved, I would immediately become someone 486 00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 3: who is comfortable in their own. 487 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,560 Speaker 1: Skin and happy dog's eye view gets to play in 488 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 1: bigger and bigger venues. Peter sees okay, maybe not a 489 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,959 Speaker 1: million faces, but certainly into the thousands of faces, and 490 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 1: he rocks most of them softly. But most importantly, he's 491 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 1: selling his homemade cassettes at his merch table and people 492 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,880 Speaker 1: are buying. He attracts the attention of Columbia Records, who 493 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 1: fly him to New York to meet the big wigs. 494 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 3: I literally the next week went to Columbia Records, and 495 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 3: it was sort of like all the dreams. 496 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 2: You would have of like, you know, Dylan or you 497 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 2: know whoever. 498 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,439 Speaker 3: I went into a conference room at Columbia Records with 499 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 3: Donnie Yner, the president of the Wibel and my manager 500 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 3: at the time, Marty Diamond, and this guy Mitchell Cohen, 501 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 3: and okay, play a few songs in the least acoustically 502 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 3: friendly environment you've ever been in. Right, it's a fucking 503 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 3: conference room that's deadened, and it's like you play guitar 504 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 3: and goes yeah yeah. 505 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 2: And totally adiseptic and clean and floresca and just just nothing. 506 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 2: But you know, I remember playing the song. 507 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 3: And just sort of like walking up a chair onto 508 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 3: the table and playing it above them, and I remember going, oh, 509 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 3: you know, I like this kid, I like this, And 510 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 3: you know, a. 511 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,959 Speaker 2: Couple days later it was they're going to offer you 512 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:16,359 Speaker 2: a deal. 513 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 1: The band records the album Happy Nowhere, which contains the 514 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: single Everything Falls Apart and honestly about a half a 515 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 1: dozen more bangers. But for a long time, Happy Nowhere 516 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,399 Speaker 1: sits on a shelf, waiting to be released and waiting 517 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 1: some more. As we know by now, that happens a lot. 518 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: Sometimes those albums never stop waiting. This feels like something 519 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:41,159 Speaker 1: Pixar should explore, and then a very strange gig changes everything. 520 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,919 Speaker 3: The record was either going to come out in ninety 521 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,119 Speaker 3: five or ninety six, right late late ninety five or 522 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 3: ninety six, and it was unclear what was going to happen, 523 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 3: and it wasn't necessarily you know, no one necessarily heard 524 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,480 Speaker 3: a big hit on it, and it wasn't necessarily a 525 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,680 Speaker 3: priority at Columbia. And I had a very weird gig 526 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 3: come up, which I got asked, and this is before 527 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 3: we were assigned, Yeah, I mean before we were the 528 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:05,640 Speaker 3: records out. 529 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 2: There's no way people really knew about. 530 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 3: Us, right, So someone reached out to me and said 531 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 3: that Michael Eisner, the head of Disney at the time, 532 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,919 Speaker 3: his son is graduating from college and really wants you 533 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 3: to play at his graduation. First of all, I know 534 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 3: that they wanted Soul Coughing to play, or they wanted 535 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,040 Speaker 3: Cracker to play, or they wanted someone to play, and 536 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 3: their dads had gone down the list to who's an 537 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,199 Speaker 3: artist who we can get to play? Right, There's no way. 538 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,440 Speaker 3: First of all, we weren't like a party band, and 539 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:39,160 Speaker 3: second of all, come on, it was a great foreshadowing 540 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:44,639 Speaker 3: of my entire career in music because they picked us 541 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:48,120 Speaker 3: up in New York City in a limo and took 542 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,439 Speaker 3: us to a private plane and flew us up to 543 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,439 Speaker 3: Cornell or wherever it was, and picked us up in 544 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 3: a bedley and took us to the gig. 545 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,879 Speaker 1: It's a dual graduation party, Michael eisen Son and the 546 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 1: son of Mickey Schuloff, who at the time was the 547 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 1: president of Sony, which owned Columbia Records. It is a 548 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 1: very weird and suddenly a very important gig. 549 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 3: And then we set up and play and it's among 550 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,520 Speaker 3: the worst gigs you can play. 551 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:14,800 Speaker 2: Right. 552 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:19,200 Speaker 3: It is both of those families in a restaurant, an 553 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 3: Italian restaurant, both of those extended families and grandparents and 554 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 3: uncles and aunts and some teenagers, you know, and the 555 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 3: kids graduating from college. And the first thing that happens 556 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,879 Speaker 3: we step on stage and it's just fucking squealing feedback, 557 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 3: and you will just watch a bunch of old people eating, 558 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,879 Speaker 3: just grimace. And then we play some folk songs for 559 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 3: these kids on their college graduation because their parents got 560 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,880 Speaker 3: us there. And then the very drunk son of what 561 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 3: the eisnerer kid? Right, the very drunk kid. His dad 562 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,159 Speaker 3: pulls me aside says, my kid wants to jam with 563 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 3: you guys, right, And I was like, we don't. 564 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm not that kind of guy. I 565 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 2: don't have songs to jam on. 566 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 3: I don't and we don't have another guitar, so it 567 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 3: wouldn't be appropriate, right, So I turned that down. And 568 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 3: then they asked us to play a second set, and 569 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 3: we do and some kids are like, you know, parents 570 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,639 Speaker 3: were like, oh, dance, dance, and we're like, play the 571 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,440 Speaker 3: most upbeat, sad folk song you can play. 572 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,240 Speaker 1: Thanks probably to an open bar, the gig is a 573 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 1: success and Michael Eisner intervenes on Peter's behalf. 574 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 3: And Michael Eisner goes, so, when is your record coming out? 575 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 3: And I said, you know, I don't know. It might 576 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 3: be it might be October, it might be next year. 577 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,760 Speaker 3: We're not sure. And he goes, no, It's coming out 578 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:43,080 Speaker 3: in October, Mickey October, and literally, like they get into 579 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:47,200 Speaker 3: this weird power play about when Sony's gonna put out 580 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 3: the record, and the next day it got slated for October. 581 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 3: So this single came out in like November of ninety five, 582 00:28:55,520 --> 00:29:00,720 Speaker 3: and immediately, you know, immediately started getting traction and being 583 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 3: a being a thing. 584 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 1: You know what happens next, The video gets added to 585 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 1: MTV's buzz bind, it gets played sixteen times a week, 586 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,560 Speaker 1: and the thing that Peter thought would fix him doesn't. 587 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 1: That is very much in keeping with the character of 588 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 1: the lyrics, you know, which I think at the time 589 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 1: like listening to it. So if that if the album 590 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: came out in ninety five, I would have been twenty four, 591 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 1: and I was in New York and you know, sad 592 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: and lonely and self destructive and self hating and all 593 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: those things. So the record really spoke to me on 594 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 1: a deep level in a sense that made me feel like, oh, 595 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,520 Speaker 1: I know this guy. I know this guy, and so 596 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 1: to hear you say that, it's like, yeah, I know 597 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 1: that guy would react that way. 598 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 3: That record continued to grow and continued to be a 599 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 3: hit single, but there was a there was definitely you know. 600 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 3: Part of the reason I mentioned that the ascendancy of 601 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 3: the Crows, right and that thing, is that that just 602 00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 3: never happened for us. 603 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,080 Speaker 2: Right, We by by by all. 604 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 3: Accounts right as successful, like more successful than you could 605 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 3: really hope to be. 606 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:08,240 Speaker 2: Right. 607 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 3: You play a lot of shows, you get a record deal, 608 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:16,480 Speaker 3: you have a hit single, like that's that's dreams, right. 609 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:21,719 Speaker 3: Thirteen year old me is like yes, right, but there 610 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 3: was a weird thing when it didn't progress to the 611 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 3: next level, right, it didn't. You know, we went on 612 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 3: Letterman and the next day was a day and there 613 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 3: was this sort of slow realization that it was just 614 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,160 Speaker 3: it had gone really well and gone up and was 615 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,440 Speaker 3: blowing up and things are great and it's a hit 616 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,440 Speaker 3: record and now go do another one. 617 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,920 Speaker 1: And how are like, are you psychologically do you have 618 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,880 Speaker 1: the self knowledge to know that this is not this 619 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: is not feeding you the way that you were hoping 620 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:55,760 Speaker 1: that it would. 621 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 2: There was a lot of me trying to push it. 622 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,680 Speaker 2: I'd done so much to push. 623 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,719 Speaker 3: It uphill, right of like let me be Erodi, let 624 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 3: me wear my shirt, let me do this. You know, push, push, push, 625 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,479 Speaker 3: and at a certain point you can't individually push the 626 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,520 Speaker 3: machinery anymore. 627 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 2: Right, So it got to a. 628 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 3: Point where you know, I would just I mean I 629 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 3: had to, you know, really make amends to my manager 630 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,480 Speaker 3: years later because I realized, like I would just call 631 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,760 Speaker 3: him twenty times a day and going have you done this? 632 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,640 Speaker 2: Have you done this? Have you done this have you 633 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:30,440 Speaker 2: called this person? 634 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 3: And so I spent a lot of time worrying about 635 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 3: trying to push it forward and zero time enjoying the 636 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,960 Speaker 3: experience of it, the process of it. It didn't fix me, 637 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 3: so it had to get bigger to fix me. Like 638 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:51,080 Speaker 3: I knew then, I knew that if the record sold 639 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 3: a million records or we had a second hit, then 640 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:56,960 Speaker 3: you know, and I was playing bigger venues, then I 641 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 3: would feel better. 642 00:31:58,280 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 1: This speaks to a thing I've been thinking about a 643 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 1: lot lately. Dreams are good for you. They can give 644 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,520 Speaker 1: your life purpose, direction, discipline. But the essential problem with 645 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,880 Speaker 1: dreams is that they don't make sense. 646 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 2: When you set a big goal. 647 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,240 Speaker 1: You know, when there's like a dream you have for yourself, 648 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:19,040 Speaker 1: you imagine it happening, but it is happening to some 649 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 1: future version of you who's like something has been fixed 650 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:29,360 Speaker 1: in between the dreaming and the event, and ultimately, you know, 651 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,240 Speaker 1: I've achieved a few of the goals that I hope 652 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,920 Speaker 1: to achieve, and it's like that just happens to you. 653 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 2: It just happens to the dumb version of you who 654 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 2: was there before. 655 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, it happens to the version of you that happened 656 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 3: yesterday and you don't feel any different. 657 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of incredible that Peter Stewart can write 658 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: those lyrics I got what I wanted and now my 659 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,440 Speaker 1: life is just boring, and then be surprised when they 660 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: end up being exactly true to his life. Self knowledge 661 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 1: is a process. But Dog's Eye Views album Happy Nowhere 662 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 1: stalls after everything falls apart as it's run on the charts. 663 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,920 Speaker 1: They don't even make a second video from that album, 664 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:16,040 Speaker 1: but they do go back and record a second album, Daisy. 665 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 2: So that record there. 666 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 3: Was a combination of things, right, first thing was that 667 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 3: they weren't promoting it. Second, you know, it didn't have 668 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 3: an obvious hit on it. Third, the initial the launch 669 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 3: for that record was, you know, we were going to 670 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 3: go tour Southeast Asia and Australia and New Zealand with 671 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 3: Counting Crows, and like a week before, like that's the 672 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,200 Speaker 3: week before the record comes out, and a week before 673 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 3: the tour, they were like, we're not going to do 674 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,440 Speaker 3: the tour, and they just canceled the tour. So we 675 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 3: were scrambling. So it just things things weren't working and 676 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 3: and part of what was happening was also I was 677 00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 3: I was a big periodic binge drinker the time, right, 678 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 3: So I wasn't you know, I wasn't drinking all the time, 679 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,560 Speaker 3: but I definitely like the last show we did on 680 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,880 Speaker 3: the Happy Nowhere tour, we literally had all flown home, 681 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 3: and then I landed in Seattle and someone someone caught 682 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,640 Speaker 3: me up and said, there's a radio show in Saint 683 00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,440 Speaker 3: Louis tonight that everyone forgot about, so you need to 684 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 3: fly back to Saint Louis and play. I think it 685 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 3: was Mississippi Knights was the name of the club. 686 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 2: Right, and play. 687 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 3: And so we flew back and playing some radio station 688 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,880 Speaker 3: show for some radio station that wasn't playing us anymore. 689 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,120 Speaker 3: And it was the first time, one of the only times, 690 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:46,000 Speaker 3: but I got completely blackout drunk on stage. I was 691 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,759 Speaker 3: so pissed off to be there and so done with it. 692 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:51,960 Speaker 3: And I found out the next day that we that 693 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 3: we did a three song encore that I had no 694 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,000 Speaker 3: memory of. I'd been on stage playing in a blackout. 695 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 3: It's a little scary, but it's also a little rock 696 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:04,040 Speaker 3: and roll until it isn't. We played the DC Chili Cookoff, 697 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,879 Speaker 3: which is yet another you know gig that sounds as 698 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:11,239 Speaker 3: bad as it is played at noon on a hot 699 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:15,760 Speaker 3: stage in DC. I was wearing Vinyl motorcycle pants perfect 700 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,320 Speaker 3: and it was I was. I drank a bunch of 701 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 3: tequila before noon, and during our last song, I jumped 702 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,880 Speaker 3: off an amp and landed, you know, like that classic 703 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,000 Speaker 3: Eddie Vedder thing, Like I grabbed the top of the stage, 704 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,400 Speaker 3: but I'm not strong enough to hang on and i 705 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:37,439 Speaker 3: can't lift myself up, so I'm literally just hanging there 706 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,320 Speaker 3: and slowly slipping off as I then fall to the 707 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 3: stage and just crumple. 708 00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,800 Speaker 1: Like that big Eddie Vetter stage move. The second album, 709 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:52,440 Speaker 1: Daisy does not quite land. Columbia Records drops him. Peter's 710 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:53,400 Speaker 1: on his own again. 711 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,520 Speaker 3: Matchbox twenty would take me out on a tour, playing 712 00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 3: second stages on their arena tour, like on their Amphitheater, right, 713 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,440 Speaker 3: So I would drive the eight hour Hump alone in 714 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 3: a rental car and then play it two in the 715 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,840 Speaker 3: afternoon on the second stage and then watch my friends play, 716 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 3: you know, the lights would go down and people and 717 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,640 Speaker 3: I watched them play and I'd think, I'm not this 718 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:20,359 Speaker 3: is not working, man. I'm not growing. I'm not like, 719 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,959 Speaker 3: I'm not developing as a human. I'm seeing the same 720 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,080 Speaker 3: places over and over. 721 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 2: I was drinking more because I was miserable. 722 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: Peter gets sober and he likes it. He begins to 723 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: get work as a sober companion for actors who were 724 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,960 Speaker 1: trying not to relapse on set. He gets to travel 725 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 1: the world, and his cover story is that he's the 726 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 1: actor's assistant. 727 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,879 Speaker 3: I'm the assistant who in the person says, hey, get 728 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:42,600 Speaker 3: me a cup of coffee. 729 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 1: I go. 730 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 3: You can get your cup of coffee, get your own coffee. 731 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,080 Speaker 3: So when a director turned to me one day, he 732 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,680 Speaker 3: was like, you're the worst assistant I've ever seen. 733 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,280 Speaker 2: Something else is going on here. 734 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,839 Speaker 1: In the meantime, Peter has recorded an album under his 735 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,879 Speaker 1: own name, and the independent label he signed to wants 736 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:00,480 Speaker 1: him to go off on tour the way that he 737 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,640 Speaker 1: had been driving himself from town to town. But he's 738 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,320 Speaker 1: over that by now, so that album kind of fizzles. 739 00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,960 Speaker 1: And it's a shame that Peter stewart solo album, Propeller 740 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,200 Speaker 1: is really good. It's on streaming services. 741 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 2: Go listen. He'll get two millions of a penny. 742 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,880 Speaker 3: And the final indignity of my interface with the music 743 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:23,120 Speaker 3: business was literally so I was I had a publishing 744 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 3: deal at the time, and the publishing deal owed me 745 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,440 Speaker 3: some money, and I didn't have a lot of money left. 746 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 3: And the label had said, hey, you know what, We're 747 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,799 Speaker 3: going to put the record out, but we're just going 748 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,120 Speaker 3: to put it out digitally on our digital store. And 749 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,160 Speaker 3: I said, and I talked to the publishing company and 750 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,239 Speaker 3: they said, your contract stipulates that there has to be 751 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 3: one physical record in one physical store or we. 752 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:49,600 Speaker 2: Don't pay you. 753 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,880 Speaker 3: So I had to get the record company to print 754 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,680 Speaker 3: a box of CDs and go put one at Amiba 755 00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,239 Speaker 3: Records so that it was in a store that I 756 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,799 Speaker 3: could get paid. And I know they printed, you know, 757 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 3: maybe I don't know, a couple hundred CDs and I 758 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:07,279 Speaker 3: have most. 759 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,160 Speaker 2: Of them in my garage. 760 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:11,919 Speaker 3: But it was just so like on the way out 761 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,880 Speaker 3: the door, it was like, here's the thing you gotta do. 762 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,040 Speaker 3: You gotta beg for them to print a CD so 763 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:18,880 Speaker 3: you can get paid. 764 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,239 Speaker 1: What had begun with high hopes and ambition ended with 765 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 1: an errand and that was that for music as a profession. 766 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,360 Speaker 1: Peter went to graduate school to get his masters in 767 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,360 Speaker 1: clinical psychology. He worked in in patient substance abuse treatment 768 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,800 Speaker 1: for a few years and now he's in private practice 769 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:36,840 Speaker 1: as a therapist in Austin, Texas. 770 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,920 Speaker 2: Does that fill you in the way that you were 771 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:47,719 Speaker 2: hoping music? Would? You know? Yes? But other things do too. 772 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,239 Speaker 3: Right, if I was looking just to this job for fulfillment, 773 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 3: it wouldn't be enough, you know. And similarly, you know, 774 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:58,040 Speaker 3: if I could go way back and have a life 775 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,440 Speaker 3: with other things in it when I was making music, 776 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,440 Speaker 3: maybe I would have been more fulfilled by music, right, 777 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,080 Speaker 3: But because all chips were in on how my record 778 00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,360 Speaker 3: was doing on any given day, there was no fulfillment. 779 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,239 Speaker 3: And and now I mean I really not to be 780 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:17,760 Speaker 3: too cheesy about it, but being sober and really working 781 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:21,680 Speaker 3: on the underlying issues as a man right as a 782 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,680 Speaker 3: human being, and trying to figure out like trying realizing 783 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 3: that there's no number of times that can play the 784 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,880 Speaker 3: song that's going to satisfy me. There's no there's nothing 785 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,839 Speaker 3: that's going to fill this void. I have to find 786 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:38,160 Speaker 3: contentment in other places. And so to me, doing all 787 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 3: of that work and doing the work to find to 788 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:45,879 Speaker 3: be comfortable in my own skin and have contentment has 789 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,319 Speaker 3: allowed me to have a family, allowed me to have 790 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,040 Speaker 3: a relationship, and allowed me to have a job that 791 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,960 Speaker 3: I really love doing most of the time. But when 792 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 3: I don't love doing it, I have other things that 793 00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,320 Speaker 3: fill me up, whether it's running or my family. 794 00:39:58,080 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 2: Or other things. 795 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,360 Speaker 1: As with a lot of people who decide to get sober, 796 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:05,840 Speaker 1: Peter's decision was motivated by a moment of clarity. And honestly, 797 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,160 Speaker 1: Peter's moment of clarity it's pretty fucking glamorous. 798 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,840 Speaker 3: You didn't ask this, but I'll answer it just for fun. 799 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,120 Speaker 3: I had a moment like part of my you know, 800 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:21,120 Speaker 3: moment of clarity, as it were, of deciding to get sober, 801 00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 3: thinking I might need to get sober. I was in 802 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:27,399 Speaker 3: Las Vegas for a wedding. My girlfriend at the time 803 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,640 Speaker 3: had just dumped me, and I was in Las Vegas 804 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 3: on a boat on Lake Mead or whatever it's called 805 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:38,560 Speaker 3: lake whatever, the fake lake is out there sitting on 806 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:43,319 Speaker 3: the roof of the boat, tripping on ecstasy, and I 807 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,400 Speaker 3: had this, you know, I was on ecstasy sitting in 808 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:46,800 Speaker 3: the boat. 809 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:47,960 Speaker 2: I felt amazing. 810 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:51,280 Speaker 3: Everything was great, and my friend, who had a bunch 811 00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,600 Speaker 3: of drugs with him, was swimming from the one boat 812 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 3: to the other boat, and I knew he was bringing 813 00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:00,839 Speaker 3: more drugs. And as I was to come down from 814 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,880 Speaker 3: the ecstasy. I started thinking, you know what, there's not 815 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,719 Speaker 3: enough ecstasy in the world to keep me feeling the 816 00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:11,160 Speaker 3: way I'm feeling. And there's not enough there aren't enough 817 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,759 Speaker 3: women in the world or relationships in the world to 818 00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,840 Speaker 3: keep me happy, and there's not enough money in the world. 819 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:21,320 Speaker 3: I have to fundamentally change everything and not be looking 820 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,360 Speaker 3: for something else to make me happy. And then and 821 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:28,719 Speaker 3: then I had this debate with myself where I said, 822 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,360 Speaker 3: what if and this is my big fear, Right, what 823 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,959 Speaker 3: if I get happy and I no longer have many 824 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,839 Speaker 3: songs to write? Right? 825 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:39,040 Speaker 2: What happens? Then? 826 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,920 Speaker 3: Am I willing to make that deal? And I didn't 827 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 3: know that was going to happen. But if i'm what if? 828 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,319 Speaker 3: I what if it happens? Am I willing to make 829 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,200 Speaker 3: that deal? And I just had it. 830 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,560 Speaker 2: I was right. I was like, you know what, fuck it? 831 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:55,239 Speaker 3: If it's that, if I have to be If contentment 832 00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,839 Speaker 3: and happiness means I never write another song, I'll take 833 00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:58,720 Speaker 3: it because I can't. 834 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,520 Speaker 2: I'm so fucking miserable that I can't do that. 835 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,080 Speaker 3: And as it turned out, I feel like I wrote 836 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 3: my best songs after I got sober. But in a way, 837 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,960 Speaker 3: later as as I've eased out of it. You know, 838 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,840 Speaker 3: I've written probably three songs in the last fifteen years 839 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,840 Speaker 3: because I don't have There's just nothing I want to 840 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:22,799 Speaker 3: I'm not in that pain, I'm not. 841 00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:23,560 Speaker 2: In that turmoil. 842 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,120 Speaker 1: The day after I spoke with Peter, he emailed me, 843 00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,400 Speaker 1: and I'm just going to read his email out loud. 844 00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,000 Speaker 1: I woke up with a memory of something that I 845 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,200 Speaker 1: wished i'd said on the podcast. Don't know if you 846 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,560 Speaker 1: can add more later. Basic gist was this realization I had. 847 00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,160 Speaker 1: And let's say two thousand and seven or so, I 848 00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:42,160 Speaker 1: was doing a sober companion gig in Australia and I 849 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,520 Speaker 1: was running on a hotel treadmill, looking at the Sydney 850 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,160 Speaker 1: Harbor and thinking about my music career. I must have 851 00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,760 Speaker 1: been listening to music, and suddenly I had the thought 852 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,240 Speaker 1: that at any point in the early to mid nineties 853 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,040 Speaker 1: I would have gladly traded my career and life for 854 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:58,840 Speaker 1: the critical acclaim and songwriting talent of Elliott Smith or 855 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:02,399 Speaker 1: the voice, critical ACA and success of Jeff Buckley. Yet 856 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,920 Speaker 1: here I was running with a beautiful view of Sydney 857 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,440 Speaker 1: and they were both dead. 858 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:08,840 Speaker 2: It's funny to think about. 859 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:10,640 Speaker 1: What we're sure we want at the time and how 860 00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:12,839 Speaker 1: lucky we turn out to be not to get it. 861 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,040 Speaker 1: So I have some leads on the guys from Sudden Impact. 862 00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:20,120 Speaker 1: Aside from Dave Smith, I have an interview request out 863 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:23,080 Speaker 1: to Michael Bivens. I am inching closer to finding out 864 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,280 Speaker 1: what happened to those guys. But as that story comes together, 865 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:30,719 Speaker 1: the other bigger mystery still eludes me. Why does this 866 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,160 Speaker 1: story have meaning for me? Why can't I stop thinking 867 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,560 Speaker 1: about it? As I often do when I'm in need 868 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,840 Speaker 1: of guidance. I call my friend Scott Gimpo and we 869 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:38,880 Speaker 1: talk about pop music. 870 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:44,880 Speaker 4: We grew up with records that stayed on the charts years, 871 00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:51,000 Speaker 4: but I mean like kids that went once yeah. 872 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,680 Speaker 2: And now is it a volume game? 873 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,759 Speaker 4: Is it just there's so much stuff? It is? 874 00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,960 Speaker 1: It's that there's so much stuff. And then it's also 875 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,760 Speaker 1: you buy something or no, actually you don't anymore? 876 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:05,160 Speaker 2: If you stream. 877 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,080 Speaker 1: Something, yeah, like it was, you know, you saved up 878 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,280 Speaker 1: a little bit of money and you bought the cassette 879 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,880 Speaker 1: or the CD, and then it was there to remind 880 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,400 Speaker 1: you that you had it, and you could listen to 881 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,480 Speaker 1: it right and play it in your car, and then 882 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,040 Speaker 1: that reminds your friend, Oh I got to pick I 883 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:22,280 Speaker 1: gotta get that too, And then that lasts like so now, 884 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,319 Speaker 1: even records that I that I stream when they come 885 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:30,160 Speaker 1: out and love the next day, I've completely forgotten and 886 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,239 Speaker 1: there's nothing to remind me. 887 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:36,840 Speaker 2: It's just stuff to keep me swimming forward. A simple 888 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,960 Speaker 2: prop to occupy your time, simple to occupy my time. 889 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:46,200 Speaker 1: You know, we've we've talked about sudden Impact for eighteen 890 00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:50,840 Speaker 1: years now, right, and that's the thing that didn't happen, 891 00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,280 Speaker 1: that stayed in our minds well. 892 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:58,160 Speaker 5: But there was enough of a repeater that of Motown, 893 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:02,319 Speaker 5: Philly that initially it was like what was that at 894 00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:04,880 Speaker 5: the end, Like oh, wait, that thing's coming up at 895 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:06,600 Speaker 5: the end, to like oh I can't wait for that 896 00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,759 Speaker 5: thing to come out of the end. Yeah, the repetition 897 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:14,600 Speaker 5: of the video engaged your imagination, and I think that 898 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,320 Speaker 5: seared it into our brain forever. 899 00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,600 Speaker 4: And then in addition to that, it never being fulfilled. 900 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, the mystery of it never been satisfied. 901 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:25,920 Speaker 4: I don't have a good memory, but I know I'll 902 00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:29,320 Speaker 4: remember that moment the rest of my life from that video, 903 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,120 Speaker 4: and I will never not take a moment to think 904 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:36,359 Speaker 4: about it. Even if you get closure, whatever the ending is, 905 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,600 Speaker 4: we know that that record didn't come out. It didn't 906 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,080 Speaker 4: there was no music video to follow that up, there 907 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:48,480 Speaker 4: was no additional move to the point point ended it. 908 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:55,680 Speaker 4: And thus it's just a prime example of ambition and potential. 909 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,600 Speaker 4: And I don't think it has a negative valance on it. 910 00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,680 Speaker 4: I don't look upon its unfulfilled potential or anything like that. 911 00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 4: I just hold it up. I mean, it is amazing, 912 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:11,240 Speaker 4: but I hold it up as an example of audacious 913 00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:15,040 Speaker 4: creative ambition that I want to aspire to. 914 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,920 Speaker 1: There, Scott has said a word that really resonates with me, 915 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,960 Speaker 1: a word that gets right to the point of what 916 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:21,879 Speaker 1: I'm trying to say here. 917 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,840 Speaker 4: That word just keeps on coming to mind. Audacious. Wouldn't 918 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:27,319 Speaker 4: want to be audacious like that? 919 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,840 Speaker 2: This is my moment of clarity. Audacity. 920 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,280 Speaker 1: That is what this show is about, people taking bold 921 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:37,520 Speaker 1: action and seeing their lives change because of it. If 922 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,799 Speaker 1: VT Nicole Brown showed up at a hotel lobby in 923 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,160 Speaker 1: the middle of the night and sang in her idol's face, 924 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,120 Speaker 1: so did Hayden. Todd and Allen ran up on a 925 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,040 Speaker 1: celebrity and asked him to sign a poster for a 926 00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,640 Speaker 1: group that barely existed. 927 00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,120 Speaker 2: Aaron Kane hit on someone's girlfriend. 928 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,480 Speaker 1: Audacity is what connects all of the people I have 929 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,800 Speaker 1: spoken to so far. Karen Kilgareth got up on stage 930 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,720 Speaker 1: to do something that scared her to death. Peter Stewart 931 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,640 Speaker 1: struck up a conversation about here Damien Fahe spent two 932 00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:06,799 Speaker 1: hundred dollars its structure. It's why I connect to the 933 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,440 Speaker 1: story of Sudden Impact. The things in my life that 934 00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:12,680 Speaker 1: I'm proudest of my book Esquire getting up at four 935 00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,480 Speaker 1: am to do something embarrassing that bought me a new life, 936 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:19,080 Speaker 1: those are audacious. The things I'm ashamed of, flunking out 937 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,080 Speaker 1: of college because I was in a gay shame spiral 938 00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,880 Speaker 1: are failures of audacity. And if I'm sometimes restless at 939 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:28,160 Speaker 1: this time in my life, if I sometimes find myself aimless, 940 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:32,399 Speaker 1: it's because I've forgotten my audacity, because we've talked about 941 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:33,640 Speaker 1: them so much in this episode. 942 00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:37,760 Speaker 2: Let's put it in Counting Crowe's terms. Listen to this yeah. 943 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:43,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, That yeah is from the very end of rain King. 944 00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:47,560 Speaker 1: From Counting Crowe's debut album August and everything after that 945 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:52,000 Speaker 1: is the yeah of enthusiasm. Of confidence, of optimism. That 946 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,560 Speaker 1: is Adam Durrett saying I'm gonna be famous and I 947 00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:55,480 Speaker 1: cannot wait. 948 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,600 Speaker 2: That yeah is all of our best selves. 949 00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:01,960 Speaker 1: But too often we get weighed down by self doubt, 950 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:06,360 Speaker 1: by insecurity, by fear or vanity or shame, and we 951 00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:12,960 Speaker 1: end up like this, yeah, Yeah, that is the yeah 952 00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,360 Speaker 1: that ends counting crows a long December just three years later. 953 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,680 Speaker 1: All of life can be summed up by those two yeahs. 954 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,520 Speaker 1: It's easy to be a long December at this time 955 00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,560 Speaker 1: in history, but the world needs you at a rain King. 956 00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,040 Speaker 1: Rain King is the one who gets out of bed 957 00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,520 Speaker 1: when he wants to sleep, the one who goes out 958 00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:32,920 Speaker 1: on a cold Chicago day to paced up flyers for 959 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:36,000 Speaker 1: his show, the one that goes clear across the country 960 00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:37,280 Speaker 1: with a poster and a demo. 961 00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:41,799 Speaker 2: Be rain King, Friends, I am getting the life lesson I. 962 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:43,799 Speaker 1: Didn't even know I needed, and I'm getting it from 963 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:47,520 Speaker 1: Adam Duritz and Sudden Impact. Next time, I'm going to 964 00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,719 Speaker 1: talk to a guy who joined Sudden Impact in their 965 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:54,000 Speaker 1: final form, the one that actually finally released music. And 966 00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,479 Speaker 1: because I am going rain King from here on out, 967 00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:58,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to track down one of the most famous 968 00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:02,520 Speaker 1: faces in music via history, A guy who inspired a 969 00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:05,800 Speaker 1: million swoons, and I know that because about four hundred 970 00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:07,160 Speaker 1: thousand of them came from me. 971 00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,160 Speaker 2: Baby, Baby, you do not want to miss the next. 972 00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:19,320 Speaker 1: Episode of Waiting for Impact, a Dave Holmes passion project. 973 00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:24,160 Speaker 1: This has been an exactly Right production written by me 974 00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:29,680 Speaker 1: Dave Holmes, produced by Hannah Kyle Crichton, recorded, mixed and 975 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:34,239 Speaker 1: sound designed by Andrew Epen. Additional engineering and assembly by 976 00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:39,880 Speaker 1: Analise Nelson. Music by Ben Wise, artwork by Garrett Ross. 977 00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:45,160 Speaker 1: Executive produced by Karen Kilgareff, Georgia hard Stark and Danielle Kramer. 978 00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,920 Speaker 1: Follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at exactly 979 00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:54,000 Speaker 1: right and follow me at Dave Holmes. For more information, 980 00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:58,240 Speaker 1: go to Exactlyrightmedia dot com. Binge The show ad free 981 00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,840 Speaker 1: on Stitcher Premium for a free month. Head to Stitcher 982 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:05,800 Speaker 1: Premium dot com slash impact and enter promo code Impact 983 00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:09,680 Speaker 1: when you select a monthly plan, listen, subscribe and leave 984 00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:13,320 Speaker 1: us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you 985 00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,720 Speaker 1: get your podcasts