WEBVTT - But Doc, It Hurts When I Do This!

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<v Speaker 1>But Doc, it hurts when I do that. It's one

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<v Speaker 1>more thing. I'm strong and getty. One more thing. First,

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to mention this.

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<v Speaker 2>We ran out of time on the radio show to

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<v Speaker 2>get this news story on the Colorado cake baker one again.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe you know his name, if you've been following this

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<v Speaker 2>story for the past dozen years, Jack Phillips. He's a

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<v Speaker 2>cake decorator in Lakewood, Colorado. You decide to do that,

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<v Speaker 2>you like to bake, and you're a little artistic, and

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<v Speaker 2>you think, you know, I'm not going to change the

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<v Speaker 2>world here, but it's what I like to do, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'll be happy with my own little niche in life.

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<v Speaker 2>And then you end up being the focus of Supreme

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<v Speaker 2>Court cases and that sort of thing for a dozen years.

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<v Speaker 1>How annoying.

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<v Speaker 3>We've spent an entire career poking the bear jabbing the

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<v Speaker 3>powerful courting controversy and this guy gets, you know, five

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<v Speaker 3>hundred times more attention because he didn't want to have

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<v Speaker 3>two dudes on the cake. Because he's a Christian. He

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<v Speaker 3>he's not down with.

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<v Speaker 2>That, right, going back to twenty twelve, twelve years ago,

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<v Speaker 2>dozen years ago, he wouldn't bake a custom wedding cake

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<v Speaker 2>for a gay couple, and it became a thing, and

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<v Speaker 2>it went all the way up to the Supreme Court,

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<v Speaker 2>and finally, in twenty twenty eighteen, six years later, the

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<v Speaker 2>Supreme Court ruled narrowly for mister Phillips, finding that they

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<v Speaker 2>had acted with particular animus toward his faith. So anyway, Katie,

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<v Speaker 2>at the.

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<v Speaker 3>Time we referred to the cake as a gake, a gig.

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<v Speaker 2>But he had to think at that time, finally, this

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<v Speaker 2>nightmare is over. As a guy who just wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>bake cakes and as a Christian, I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>make your cake. And obviously the answer from people like

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<v Speaker 2>us was go get your kick baked something somewhere else.

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<v Speaker 2>Why are you gonna make such a big point out

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<v Speaker 2>of this, He doesn't want to make your cake. Plenty

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<v Speaker 2>of people, will you know, give him a bad Ye'll

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<v Speaker 2>preview if you want, and uh, but only pretending to

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<v Speaker 2>be offended and put upon. If I want to have

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<v Speaker 2>like a some sort of up with Israel cake, I

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<v Speaker 2>go to my local baker.

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<v Speaker 3>He says, Hey, I'm Palestinian American. I'm kind of an

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<v Speaker 3>activist on you know, Israel's being too cruel to my people.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna say, okay, I can respect that. Thanks anyway,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not going to pretend that he's done me some

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<v Speaker 3>sort of horrific crime.

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<v Speaker 1>A joke, Yes, kidny, this.

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<v Speaker 4>From the Babylon be millions of gay people die of hunger.

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<v Speaker 4>Is one bakery in Colorado no longer forced to bake

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<v Speaker 4>them wedding cakes?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Right, So he thought he was out of the woods,

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<v Speaker 2>his long national nightmare was over. But no, an attorney,

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<v Speaker 2>of course it was an attorney called him. Didn't even

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<v Speaker 2>go into the store a couple of years ago to

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<v Speaker 2>request another custom cake. This one's celebrating a gender transition.

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<v Speaker 2>Were not same, Poor baker, I couldn't put into you know,

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<v Speaker 2>gay had gotten settled, gay marriage's law of the land, everybody,

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<v Speaker 2>poles had moved whatever. Now you gotta do gender transition.

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<v Speaker 2>So a lawyer calls you up in order to cake,

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<v Speaker 2>and you say, I'm not going to make a gender

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<v Speaker 2>transition cake, and boom, it becomes a court case once again.

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<v Speaker 4>You think they just remembered that this baker had gone

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<v Speaker 4>through this once before and said, hey, let's try this

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<v Speaker 4>guy again.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I think you know, why did they choose the

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<v Speaker 2>same guy just because they.

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<v Speaker 1>Knew he would re publicity.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Phillips declined again on religious free exercise grounds. The

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<v Speaker 2>attorney sued. This is the lawsuit that the Colorado Colorado

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<v Speaker 2>Supreme Court dismissed this week on grounds that it wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>filed correctly. So it was really a technicality. But at

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<v Speaker 2>least for now it is, he's out of the woods.

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<v Speaker 1>I assume somebody's picking up his legal costs. God, I

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<v Speaker 1>hope so, I certainly hope.

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<v Speaker 3>So I want that lawyer to be found, taken into custody,

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<v Speaker 3>perhaps bound, perhaps a force fed cake until he explodes.

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<v Speaker 2>And so what if they had won, what would their

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<v Speaker 2>big victory be? What's your story forcing.

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<v Speaker 3>Creative people to exercise their creativity for.

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<v Speaker 1>Any cause that you make them.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's not It was always used as an example,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's not exactly like having to sit in the

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<v Speaker 2>back of the bus, or not allowed to stay in

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<v Speaker 2>the hotel because you're black, or a variety of other

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<v Speaker 2>things that you can you don't think of. It's not

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<v Speaker 2>the same thing. Go over there and get a cake

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<v Speaker 2>with somebody who doesn't care.

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<v Speaker 3>And what bothers me is a free speech advocate of

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<v Speaker 3>First Amendment advocate is compelled speeches. Every bit is odious

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<v Speaker 3>as forbidden speech in its own way. And again, you

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<v Speaker 3>can't force me to write a song saying we should

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<v Speaker 3>exterminate the Jews.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't make me do that. I find it abhorrent.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, maybe what this guy finds abhorrent is different than

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<v Speaker 3>what I find abhorrent. Nonetheless, I'm picturing one of those

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<v Speaker 3>icing piping things. You stick it down the guy's throat

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<v Speaker 3>and you just squeezing, squeeze and squeeze. I don't I

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<v Speaker 3>should be quiet.

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<v Speaker 5>Now, That's what I was thinking. If I'm forced to

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<v Speaker 5>make a cake, I make it taste like foot. That's

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<v Speaker 5>just the worst tasting cake you've ever had.

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<v Speaker 2>Joe's on punishing the lawyer. So you put a funnel

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<v Speaker 2>in his mouth with sprinkles. So many sprinkles, you're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>choke on these sprinkles. You on icing, you on custom izing.

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<v Speaker 2>Here you go. So that lawyer, who again called, wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>even bother to go into the store because he knew

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<v Speaker 2>what he was gonna get out of it, wanted one

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<v Speaker 2>cake celebrating a gender transition, and also requested a second

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<v Speaker 2>cake depicting Satan smoking marijuana. Oh, come, on. They were

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<v Speaker 2>totally setting this up. Of course they were, which is

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<v Speaker 2>often the case. I mean, Plusy versus vierguson, Rosa Parks.

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<v Speaker 2>Those were all on purpose to get an outcome, to

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<v Speaker 2>get a court case, to finally get a sling on

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<v Speaker 2>these things.

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<v Speaker 1>But this is but they were right. He's wrong, He's

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<v Speaker 1>completely wrong. Oh God, So there's that.

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<v Speaker 2>Got that out of the way, and then, uh, do

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<v Speaker 2>you know the joke, okatie, It's one of my favorite

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<v Speaker 2>old timey jokes. Doctor it hurts when I do this,

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<v Speaker 2>and the doctor says, then don't do that. Okay, fair,

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<v Speaker 2>it's an easy out.

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<v Speaker 1>Then you go home. It's classic.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm getting a I'm getting something done today that is

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<v Speaker 2>going to involve pain, and I'm I've been deciding to

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<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about it on the air or not.

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<v Speaker 2>It's one of your more funny things you can get done.

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<v Speaker 5>You'll feel better if you do talk about it.

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<v Speaker 6>Are you finally transitioning?

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<v Speaker 2>Always, always, Michael's role is to say, sure, go ahead

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<v Speaker 2>and talk about it. I'm not going to for a

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<v Speaker 2>variety of reasons involving my personal life and kids, but

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<v Speaker 2>it'd be a funny procedure to talk about it's it's

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<v Speaker 2>a common procedure. It's it's it's it's it's ripe with

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<v Speaker 2>humor possibilities.

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<v Speaker 1>You could you probably guess getting a third arm.

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<v Speaker 2>You could probably guess, if you took like three guesses,

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<v Speaker 2>you would get I'm not letting I guess, because I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna you're you're gonna guess.

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<v Speaker 5>Fair.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll respect it.

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<v Speaker 6>We'll stick with breast implants.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, stick with that.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, it's going to involve pain and uh and some

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<v Speaker 2>pain management at least for a little while. And I

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<v Speaker 2>came across this. Almost ninety percent of health care providers

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<v Speaker 2>surveyed reported that their patients prefer to manage pain without

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<v Speaker 2>a prescribed opioid. Yeah, but that wasn't true. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know however many years ago. Really, this is a testament

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<v Speaker 2>to just you know, the word getting out. This is

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<v Speaker 2>a bad idea. It's easy to get hooked. Don't do it.

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<v Speaker 2>So almost ninety percent of people say, I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>any opioids to deal with this pain.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, well, good good.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm glad to hear that, you know, speaking of pain,

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<v Speaker 3>and I I have hesitated to even talk about this

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<v Speaker 3>because I don't want it to sound like complaining or

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<v Speaker 3>some sort of request for sympathy. But I'm in pain

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<v Speaker 3>all the time, and it's sometimes it's pretty bad, but

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<v Speaker 3>I've learned to deal with it mentally. And I read

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<v Speaker 3>something who was it, Oh, somebody writing about chronic pain.

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<v Speaker 3>But there's counseling you can do to change your mindset

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<v Speaker 3>about it. And one of their principles is if you

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<v Speaker 3>were born today feeling like you feel, you would just think, Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>This is life. Now I'm going to go about my business.

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<v Speaker 1>And it works. It's not like you enjoy it or anything,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's, uh, it's interesting what you can get used to. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't. I'm not afraid of it.

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<v Speaker 3>There's no fear because one of the main components of

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<v Speaker 3>pain is fear, which is the reason it hurts me

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<v Speaker 3>to get a shot. Everybody every bit as much as

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<v Speaker 3>it hurts six year old. But the six year old

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<v Speaker 3>is terrified. Yeah, and I'm just thinking how soon is

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<v Speaker 3>this over?

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<v Speaker 2>And then like if you get a procedure done, the

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<v Speaker 2>pain usually what's frightening about is like am I about

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<v Speaker 2>to rip this open or something right, as opposed to

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<v Speaker 2>if it's it's okay, it's just gonna be here, which

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<v Speaker 2>isn't pleasant. But I remember there's somebody I knew who

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<v Speaker 2>had I forget what their pain was, but that like

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<v Speaker 2>really bad, horrifying pain that they had, and they talked

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<v Speaker 2>about the psychological thing that they had learned of being

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<v Speaker 2>able to walk inside the pain like it was a

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<v Speaker 2>room and observe it from inside or something. Oh, I've

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<v Speaker 2>never heard that before, but they said it worked for him.

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<v Speaker 2>How I've never been able to I've never Luckily, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't have like I have zero pain, and I've never

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<v Speaker 2>had to apply that, oh, you're pain to others. So

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<v Speaker 2>there's suggestion. Yeah, I cause other people pain. I will

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<v Speaker 2>have pain starting at four fifteen this afternoon for a

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<v Speaker 2>couple of days. Here's my hint, and everybody'll know what

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<v Speaker 2>it is. But I'm not going to talk about it.

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<v Speaker 2>The pain management includes a bag of frozen peas.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so not under or not overrated.

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<v Speaker 2>Enough sense, but I'm not gonna talk about but yet.

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<v Speaker 2>So I need to get frozen piece. I don't have

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<v Speaker 2>any yet. I don't want to forget, because I'd be

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<v Speaker 2>a bad thing to forget. Don't forget, I've often wondered, though,

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<v Speaker 2>not you, because you have actual pain, but even for

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<v Speaker 2>like people that feel good like me. I'll bet though

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<v Speaker 2>I've gotten used to certain things that if I could,

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<v Speaker 2>like go back to being eighteen for a day, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Think, oh wow, I didn't realize how bad I felt.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I have this fantasy of playing one round of

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<v Speaker 3>golf as a thirty five year old again, just to

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<v Speaker 3>get a time machine. I don't want to meet Jesus.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to have lunch with Abraham Lincoln. I

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<v Speaker 3>just want to play one round of golf as a

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<v Speaker 3>thirty five year old again.

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<v Speaker 2>Not even like a twenty five have lunch with Abraham Lincoln.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna hit the links as a young man instead.

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<v Speaker 1>Also the eating situation, to be younger and eat again.

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<v Speaker 1>We just eat whatever the.

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<v Speaker 2>Hell you want.

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<v Speaker 1>What happens you already do? Jack? What are you talking about?

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<v Speaker 2>But I pay the price of being not twenty years old.

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<v Speaker 2>I do eat whatever I want, but just.

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<v Speaker 1>To eat and then you're fine. Here you're two minutes later,

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<v Speaker 1>you still feel great.

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<v Speaker 5>I used to be an hour later, sit down and

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<v Speaker 5>eat a large pizza to myself, Oh yeah, crush that thing,

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<v Speaker 5>or do you know what?

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<v Speaker 3>You know? The inevitable part of every guy's golf trip

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<v Speaker 3>is you go out for steaks, you know, three out

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<v Speaker 3>of four of them, that is what you do, or,

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<v Speaker 3>in the case of the one I'm going to do

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<v Speaker 3>next week, you cook him at home.

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<v Speaker 1>But I used to be.

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<v Speaker 3>Able to hammer down a hunk of meat the size

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<v Speaker 3>of a house cat.

0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:44.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean it was. I enjoyed the last bite as

0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:50.080
<v Speaker 1>much as the first. Now I feel like a little lady.

0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:54.120
<v Speaker 1>I'll take the petit philet. Oh, go ahead and get

0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:55.840
<v Speaker 1>the New York strip, and I take half.

0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:56.120
<v Speaker 3>Of it home.

0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:59.000
<v Speaker 1>Do you get mocked by your friends? I don't know,

0:11:59.080 --> 0:11:59.920
<v Speaker 1>because they're old.

0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:03.800
<v Speaker 2>Who lady, Lady, Lady's like a very mockable thing. You

0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:06.120
<v Speaker 2>get the tiny little does your husband order steak?

0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:10.360
<v Speaker 3>I mean, come on, So I was rooming with another

0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.560
<v Speaker 3>guy in this last trip. I took it, and I

0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:14.920
<v Speaker 3>was putting a steak in the fridge in the hotel room.

0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:19.040
<v Speaker 3>I said, what percentage of the time do hotel room

0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.800
<v Speaker 3>fridge steaks actually get consumed? The next morning?

0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:25.520
<v Speaker 1>He said zero? Yeah, fair enough.

0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:27.720
<v Speaker 2>I forgot it was even in there, very sellable. There's

0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.520
<v Speaker 2>the forgetting. Then there's a realizing I don't have any

0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:32.960
<v Speaker 2>of you utensils necessary to eat a steak, even though

0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:35.920
<v Speaker 2>I've got this really great, expensive steak here. So sometimes

0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:38.199
<v Speaker 2>I have been in my hotel room holding the steak

0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:40.440
<v Speaker 2>in my hand like an apple eating holes.

0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:41.400
<v Speaker 1>That's going to say, it's just.

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:44.320
<v Speaker 6>Wasted forks at the end of your arms. They're called hands.

0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:49.280
<v Speaker 1>Oh that needs to be on a T shirt.

0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:55.480
<v Speaker 5>That may be the greatest saying ever. Katie, Well, I

0:12:55.520 --> 0:13:00.120
<v Speaker 5>guess that's it.

0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:02.640
<v Speaker 1>That's pretty funny, ah,