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Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and I Heart Radio podcast. Hello, everybody,

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Speaker 1: we are screwed. Everyone waved to no one, we're scrubbing in.

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Speaker 1: It's me, It's Tanya. We have Brad back in the

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Speaker 1: vide guys and Marks in here too, but he stepped

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Speaker 1: out the room for a reason. For some reason. Um,

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Speaker 1: we had a lot of request to have you back

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Speaker 1: on the show. Oh that's nice. Yeah, people are like,

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Speaker 1: really enjoyed your presence on the podcast. Well, I enjoyed

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Speaker 1: being here, so I'm happy I could come back today.

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Speaker 1: You have a really good energy about you. Vibes don't lie. Thanks, Thanks, guys,

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Speaker 1: they're vibing. They can feel my vibes through the radio waves. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think I feel like people can hear Tanya's vibes

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Speaker 1: through the radio, you know, Like I think I could

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Speaker 1: feel them when I when even like right as I

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Speaker 1: kind of met her, if I heard her on a

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Speaker 1: radio I told her I was like, there's something about

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Speaker 1: your voice that brings people in, and I think that's

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Speaker 1: what people really relate to a Tania, and I think

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Speaker 1: that they had the same thing with you when you

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Speaker 1: were on. Oh that's nice. Well, Hi everyone, I'm happy

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Speaker 1: to be back. I'm so scrubbed in right now, so

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Speaker 1: I couldn't. I was telling Becca that we should actually

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Speaker 1: get like some sort of like mask and like some

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Speaker 1: gloves to have people like when we have guests like

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Speaker 1: actually scrub in. Well, you can't have a mask because

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Speaker 1: then you wouldn't be able to hear people properly. Oh

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Speaker 1: just for like a photo or something just like photo,

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Speaker 1: you're like something to cover their mouths really hard to

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Speaker 1: hear them because if we don't get enough, you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes people are like I can't hear the volumes weird

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Speaker 1: or whatever. I'm like, imagine adding a surgical Um. Well,

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Speaker 1: the reason why we actually had you back on this

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Speaker 1: week is because um, as a lot of you know

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Speaker 1: in the news this last week. Um, it was actually

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Speaker 1: a really hard week for me personally because I know

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Speaker 1: Demilvado really well, and when all the news was going down,

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Speaker 1: when the news broke she um she was sent to

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Speaker 1: the hospital of an overdose. And I literally, when I

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Speaker 1: tell you that, my heart wasn't like my stomach. I

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Speaker 1: felt like my heart was in my stomach because at

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Speaker 1: that time I didn't know what was happening, if she

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Speaker 1: was going to be Okay, Like it sounded really really

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Speaker 1: bad and I don't know, you know, you're reading all

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Speaker 1: these updates and like my brain just goes to like

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Speaker 1: this scary space, and like I know that this is

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Speaker 1: something that she's been struggling with for a really long time.

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Speaker 1: She's been really open about it. She's been an advocate

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Speaker 1: about this for since I've known her, and so, um,

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Speaker 1: it's been a bit. It was in a really weird

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Speaker 1: spot last week, and I think it's been on a

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Speaker 1: lot of people's minds, um. And I know that you

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Speaker 1: have a really amazing story because you are also a

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Speaker 1: recovering addict and you deal with it daily still and

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Speaker 1: you've been seventeen years sober. And I wanted to have

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Speaker 1: you on because I thought it would be a good

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Speaker 1: way to talk about, um, what's going on, you know,

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Speaker 1: because it brought up a lot of It brought a

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Speaker 1: lot to light, you know, a lot of conversations that

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Speaker 1: people aren't necessarily having drug overdose. It's scary and it's real,

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Speaker 1: and it's happening to a lot of people in our lives.

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Speaker 1: It could be your brother, your mom, your sister, your

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Speaker 1: best friend, your coworker. Like a lot of people are

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Speaker 1: struggling with this, so I kind of wanted you to

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Speaker 1: open up about your story, and um kind of I

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Speaker 1: guess where do you start? Like how did it start

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Speaker 1: with you? Well, first and foremost, I'll just start off

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Speaker 1: by saying, I am not an expert on addiction. I'm

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Speaker 1: the thing that I can talk about is my experience

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Speaker 1: dealing with my addiction. Um, So where it started for

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Speaker 1: me was, Um, I've got sober when I was twenty

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Speaker 1: three years old and I've been sober for seventeen years.

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Speaker 1: May third is my sober birthday, and um, you know,

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Speaker 1: but things just got like very out of control for

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Speaker 1: me very quickly. I didn't think I had a drinking

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Speaker 1: problem at all. I thought I had a drug problem. Um.

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Speaker 1: I was a like a club rat in Toronto, Like

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Speaker 1: I you know, ecstasy, special K cocaine, those were kind

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Speaker 1: of mine. How does that just they just offer it

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Speaker 1: to you and then you're like okay, and then you

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Speaker 1: just kind of go from there. Um yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: you buy it from drug dealers. How accessible it is?

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean you know you can find anything

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Speaker 1: you're looking for, Like you'll find whatever it is that

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Speaker 1: that you know, whatever your drug of choices, you find

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Speaker 1: those people that have it or and you also create

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Speaker 1: groups of people. You surround yourself with people who are

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Speaker 1: doing the same thing. So, you know, I was young,

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Speaker 1: I was out like at clubs, like dancing like you

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Speaker 1: and I all we do, and um, but I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize that it was such a problem until

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Speaker 1: I started doing like everyday things and wanting to do

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Speaker 1: them high, so like normal things. Like near the end

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Speaker 1: of my using, I remember I was wrapping Christmas residence

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Speaker 1: and snorting lines of cocaine at the same time. So

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Speaker 1: it got like, you know, it got dark, and it

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Speaker 1: got dark really quickly because I think drugs helped to

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Speaker 1: bring me to my knees quote you know, faster, because um,

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Speaker 1: I didn't think I had a problem drinking, but drinking

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Speaker 1: was like the gateway to everything for me. So I

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Speaker 1: would drink first and then would get to a point

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Speaker 1: where I was feeling drunk, and then I would start

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Speaker 1: doing drugs so I could like and then I could

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Speaker 1: drink longer and like party and yeah, and then it

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Speaker 1: was like a crazy cocktail of like you know, I

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Speaker 1: would do. I would drink and then I would do cocaine,

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Speaker 1: and then I would do like go out dancing, and

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Speaker 1: then the ecstasy would come in, and then I would

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Speaker 1: do special k with the ecstasy. And it was just

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Speaker 1: like this constant chemical yeah, figuring it out. So at

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Speaker 1: what point, at what point in all of this, how

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Speaker 1: do you realize, like, I have a problem, I need

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Speaker 1: to stop. Well, I tried to kill myself, so I um,

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Speaker 1: I tried to uh kill myself with xanax. I took actually, sorry,

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Speaker 1: it was valium. I tried to take UM. I took

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Speaker 1: a bunch of valium and my boyfriend at the time

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Speaker 1: and I had gotten into a fight and the it

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Speaker 1: got a little violent and the cops. I called the

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Speaker 1: cops in like a totally manic state, and I called

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Speaker 1: my mom at the same time, and my mom drove

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Speaker 1: for like forty five minutes. At three o'clock in the morning,

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Speaker 1: the cops were there. I had, you know, was starting

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Speaker 1: to kind of doze off. I didn't really know what

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Speaker 1: was going on. My mom took me from the house,

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Speaker 1: the police left, and I basically like slept for two

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Speaker 1: days straight and when I woke up, they wanted to

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Speaker 1: put me in rehab, and I said that I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to go to rehab and um, I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't want to go. And I had a

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Speaker 1: friend who was in a a who I went to

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Speaker 1: school with, and she took me to my first meeting,

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Speaker 1: and um, I've been staying sober that way ever since. Wow.

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Speaker 1: So you never you never went into you have facility

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Speaker 1: or anything. And so you were twenty three when you

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Speaker 1: got so where how old were you when it started? Um?

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Speaker 1: I started dabbling with like um acid and marijuana and

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Speaker 1: booze in when I was about like sixteen. I was

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Speaker 1: like a rave baby, so I was going to like

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Speaker 1: raves and um, that's when I first tried ecstasy. I

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Speaker 1: definitely I went thousand percent. Remember the first night I

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Speaker 1: tried cocaine, and I knew that it was going to

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Speaker 1: be like downhill. I knew it was going to be

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Speaker 1: a problem. That's what a lot of people say is

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Speaker 1: like don't eat ever. I've never tried cocaine, but they're like,

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Speaker 1: don't try it because it's like that's it's the gate

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Speaker 1: It's like the gateway drug. Yeah, And there's like you're

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Speaker 1: always chasing your first line. Like nothing's as good as

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Speaker 1: like the first line. It's like somebody goes into your

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Speaker 1: brain and like sweeps it out. Like that's how it

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Speaker 1: felt to me. I felt like, oh my god, everything

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Speaker 1: is so clear and like, you know, no worries, no worries,

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Speaker 1: like I just it. But it it got so dark,

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Speaker 1: and you know, my family knew that things were happening,

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Speaker 1: Like my mom told me later on. I was in

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Speaker 1: at school. I got you know, almost expelled from school.

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Speaker 1: I was going to class and like high and like

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Speaker 1: falling asleep. I was put on academic probation like all

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Speaker 1: of this stuff. And and my parents knew that I

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Speaker 1: was on a slippery slope, but they um like they

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Speaker 1: would drive an hour and a half from where they

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Speaker 1: lived to Toronto to physically take me grocery shopping because

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Speaker 1: they were nervous about giving me cash. And I didn't

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Speaker 1: know this until like years after I got sober, but

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Speaker 1: like the trust level was not there anymore. That is

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Speaker 1: an interesting topic of it, because I feel like a

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Speaker 1: lot of people um in the in the Demi news,

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Speaker 1: there's they're blaming like her friends, like how can your

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Speaker 1: friends let you go down that you know, like you

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Speaker 1: be in this but coming from somebody like do you

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Speaker 1: listen to anybody around you. You're not listen anybody. My

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Speaker 1: addiction de never worked like that. Like it's it's the

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Speaker 1: thing that that that people I don't think can understand

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Speaker 1: about it is that it's it's and it says in

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Speaker 1: our literature, the Big Book, it says it's kind of

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Speaker 1: baffling and powerful, and that's like the best way to

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Speaker 1: describe it, because you just you can't control the feeling

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Speaker 1: when it comes up. And and there's really nobody in

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Speaker 1: my life that's responsible for my sobriety except for me.

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Speaker 1: It's why I still go to meetings at seven thirty

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Speaker 1: in the morning, It's why I still help other alcoholics

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Speaker 1: try to stay sober. It's you know, it's like a

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Speaker 1: daily uh, it's a daily exercise for me. Still. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: with everything that happened with Jimmy, I remember thinking, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you told Tony this and then

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Speaker 1: we were talking about it or but I just remember

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Speaker 1: hearing from somewhere like she's going to struggle with this.

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Speaker 1: This is going to be the rest of her life

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Speaker 1: of you know, it being a daily battle of yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I mean, I really you still go to a

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Speaker 1: like five times a week. I go as much as

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Speaker 1: I can yeah, but definitely like, yeah, it's close to that, definitely, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: four or five times a week stough in seventeen years,

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Speaker 1: that's not you know what I mean, It's not like

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Speaker 1: you just it's been like a year or two years,

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Speaker 1: like it's something that, yeah, it becomes. It's less about

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Speaker 1: like I don't really I'm not afraid of picking up

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Speaker 1: a drink or something like that. It's more about um

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Speaker 1: figuring out on a day to day basis, like trying

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Speaker 1: to live my life by some sort of spiritual principles

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Speaker 1: and like getting in touch with those every single day.

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Speaker 1: So I'm not like, you know, I have a great life.

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Speaker 1: My life is like incredible. I live a life literally

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Speaker 1: beyond my wildest dreams. But it's also like maintaining that

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Speaker 1: and how do I you know, there's a there's a

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Speaker 1: there's definitely a mental illness um component to I think,

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Speaker 1: to addiction and alcoholism that on a daily basis I

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Speaker 1: feel like I need to be in touch with because

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Speaker 1: some of the things that happen is hard to explain,

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Speaker 1: Like some of the things that I believe to be

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Speaker 1: real are things that are like not happening, you know,

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Speaker 1: like when you kind of create like a script in

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Speaker 1: your and about how things are going. Um, I've seen

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Speaker 1: you go down that path. Yeah, you've seen me, and

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Speaker 1: I have to check it. I have to like check

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Speaker 1: in and be like, this is not reality, this is

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Speaker 1: not what's actually happening right now. So, um I go.

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Speaker 1: I literally go every single day just so I can

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Speaker 1: be like the best person I could be on a

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Speaker 1: daily basis, because that's what that's what makes me feel

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Speaker 1: good now. So I'm interested. So when you got sober three,

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Speaker 1: when did you meet Gary? Literally? Like I did everything

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Speaker 1: wrong in my first year? Um I met Gary. I

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Speaker 1: got sober on May three, and I met him literally

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Speaker 1: almost two months later to the day. So was this

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Speaker 1: like a conversation that you had when you've met him?

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Speaker 1: Like you hit it? So I hit it. And then

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Speaker 1: we were away in Hawaii together about a month later

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Speaker 1: and he had this drink and he was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, you should just just taste it. It's so

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Speaker 1: like because you were just saying I don't drink, I

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Speaker 1: don't want Yeah, I like it whatever, and he I

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Speaker 1: was like, I have to be super honest with you

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Speaker 1: about something, and um, I told him, and I think

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Speaker 1: there it was a little bit like red flag for

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Speaker 1: him in a way. I don't want to put like

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Speaker 1: words in his mouth, but I think over time and

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Speaker 1: very quickly he became he's like so supportive and you know,

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Speaker 1: even sometimes now he'll say to me, you know, when's

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Speaker 1: the last time you went to a meeting? And um,

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Speaker 1: you know he's given me like cakes and he's very

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Speaker 1: very supportive of my sober journey. Um. But yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: technically I didn't. I was afraid of what his reaction

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Speaker 1: might have been, and which I think a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: I think people can relate to that, you know, because

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Speaker 1: you have and maybe not if it's not being sober,

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Speaker 1: but you have some something that you feel likes a um,

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Speaker 1: not insecurity, maybe it's an insecurity. It was something that's

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Speaker 1: like on your shoulders, and you feel like when you

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Speaker 1: nearly start dating somebody that like the way you project

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Speaker 1: that is going to be, you're scared of how it's

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Speaker 1: going to be perceived totally, and it's you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that I obviously all this time later, it's it's

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Speaker 1: so much a part of who I am and the

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Speaker 1: way that I live my life. And I think actually,

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Speaker 1: in a lot of instances, the things that I've learned

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Speaker 1: in in sobriety and in a a they just apply

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Speaker 1: so much to everybody's situations. You know, it doesn't necessarily

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Speaker 1: for me just apply to um not drinking or using drugs.

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Speaker 1: It applies to life, you know, it really applies to

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Speaker 1: like living life on life's terms. And also you know,

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Speaker 1: just like accepting the way that things are and also

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Speaker 1: kind of believing that there is uh being out there

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Speaker 1: that's greater than yourself. I think one of the things

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Speaker 1: that I love so much about you, and like there's

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Speaker 1: a lot obviously like you that the thing is like

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Speaker 1: a lot of people would have no idea that you've

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Speaker 1: had this in your past, Like that is a dark

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Speaker 1: dark Like that is some dark stuff. And the way

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Speaker 1: that you live your life now you're so fun and

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Speaker 1: care free and like you go like you're out of

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Speaker 1: clubs with us all the time, Like you're out till

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Speaker 1: one o'clock in the morning and we're you know, we're drinking,

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Speaker 1: and you're still having just as much fun. And I

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Speaker 1: think it's really cool and really admirable that you can

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Speaker 1: be social and like you have this life down you

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Speaker 1: work on yourself every single day, and that you have

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Speaker 1: had a really dark thing happened in your past, and

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Speaker 1: I think it's um, it's beautiful, and I think it's

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Speaker 1: awesome that you choose to share it, because I also

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Speaker 1: think a lot of it's a scary thing that a

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Speaker 1: lot of people don't want to talk about, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: shy away from. I remember the moment where I looked

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Speaker 1: at myself in the mirror, and you know, it was

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Speaker 1: like I knew that I either had to I was

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Speaker 1: either going to die and I was just going to

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Speaker 1: continue using drugs and eventually like dive an overdose or

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Speaker 1: potentially take my own life. But I knew that that's

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Speaker 1: not actually what I wanted. And so when I got sober,

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Speaker 1: I made a conscious and I've tried to make a

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Speaker 1: conscious effort to like really enjoy my life and like

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Speaker 1: live it to the fullest and be as much as

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Speaker 1: I can be a joy in other people's lives, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that's kind of why I'm in

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Speaker 1: the profession i'm in, and and just why I am

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Speaker 1: the way that I am, Like I'm always kind of

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Speaker 1: the same, I think, and I and you know, the

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Speaker 1: people that I work with are like, oh, you're so calm,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I'm not super dramatic, and um, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I just I I lived for so long

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Speaker 1: in a dark place, like not knowing that it was

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Speaker 1: a dark place that i'd really try to stay to

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Speaker 1: stay out of that now. I mean, I have so

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Speaker 1: many family members who have had addiction problems and have

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Speaker 1: fought it, you know, their whole lives and continue to

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Speaker 1: fight it. And so I think seeing someone like you

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Speaker 1: who who finally acknowledge that it was a problem and

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Speaker 1: decided like, I'm going to fix this because I don't

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Speaker 1: want this to be my life. It's like I think

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Speaker 1: having personal experience with people who have gone through this

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Speaker 1: and watching them continue to relap soon get back into it,

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Speaker 1: it's really encouraging, I think, to know that that you

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Speaker 1: can come out of it and that like there is

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Speaker 1: a light at the end of the dark tunnel, because

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Speaker 1: I think people get stuck in the darkness and don't

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Speaker 1: know how to get out of it, and I think

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Speaker 1: the people around them or feel helpless too of like

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Speaker 1: what can we do to fix this? And I think

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Speaker 1: that's a big struggle for people. Yeah, I think so too,

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Speaker 1: and you know we Um, I think that's why the community.

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Speaker 1: For me, of a A has worked is because it's

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Speaker 1: there's a language that addicts speak to one another that

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Speaker 1: I think only addicts can understand. Um, but I um,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's it's some for some people relapsing as

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Speaker 1: part of the journey, but that's can also be like

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Speaker 1: a really dangerous game, you know, because you can you

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Speaker 1: might not come back from an overdose. And I've had

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Speaker 1: people in my you know, my group who have who

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Speaker 1: have you know, other members of my group have found

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Speaker 1: them dead. Like it's like it's not we talk about

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Speaker 1: it being every every day like it's a life and

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Speaker 1: death thing. It's not something that you can you're playing

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Speaker 1: with fire, you know. It's it's definitely something that is

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Speaker 1: life threatening, and um, you know it should be treated

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Speaker 1: as such. When you were in that dark phase of

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Speaker 1: your like you were saying your parents don't want to

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Speaker 1: give you cash and things like like how did how

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00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 1: is your relationship with your sister and like how did

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00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 1: she my sister's you know, my sister told me in

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Speaker 1: high school when I told her that I started, uh

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Speaker 1: smoking pot, that she said to me, She's like this

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Speaker 1: is just at the beginning for you. Like she was

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Speaker 1: like not happy, and and she was totally right. But

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Speaker 1: you know, my sister and my family is and is

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Speaker 1: kind of amazing because they, um, they supported me as

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Speaker 1: much as they could and and and waited until the

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Speaker 1: moment and the moment that you know, I called them

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Speaker 1: that night. My sister was there and she stayed home

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Speaker 1: with me the whole time that I was like comatose

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Speaker 1: or like out from the valium. And um, I've been

349
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Speaker 1: really lucky that I I I and now I try

350
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,440
Speaker 1: you know, we call it a living amends, is that

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00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:08,040
Speaker 1: I try my best to be a good brother and

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Speaker 1: a good son to my mom, because I know my

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00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,800
Speaker 1: mom has had so many sleepless nights waiting for the

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Speaker 1: phone call to to see if like I was okay

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Speaker 1: or not. You know, she also say to me when

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Speaker 1: I was like going to Toronto, I'm going to go

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Speaker 1: to like this warehouse party, She'd be like, be careful,

358
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Speaker 1: someone doesn't slip anything into your drink. I'm like, that's

359
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Speaker 1: my dream. Like, are you crazy? Be careful someone doesn't

360
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Speaker 1: slip anything into my drink. I'm like, I'm praying for that, Mom,

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Speaker 1: Are you crazy? Come true? Oh? My god, your mother,

362
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Speaker 1: My poor mother. Oh she's I mean I put her

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Speaker 1: through it. I have put her through it, you know,

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Speaker 1: between like drug addiction. Uh, you know, coming out like

365
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Speaker 1: my crazy out. I mean my mom has like I

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Speaker 1: I oh like my mom and my dad like I

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00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 1: owe everything to them, Like I was not. I was

368
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Speaker 1: not an easy child. No, but you're such a joy.

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Speaker 1: How are you when you came out to your parents? Official? Well,

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Speaker 1: when I came out, I like literally when I came out,

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Speaker 1: I came out like I was basically born with a

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Speaker 1: pair of high heels. Um um officially came out. I

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Speaker 1: think I was like seventeen or eighteen. But what you're

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Speaker 1: saying is they weren't like let me just like third grade,

375
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Speaker 1: we had a talent show. I shut off all the lights.

376
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 1: Well you know this something that I shut off all

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Speaker 1: the lights in our portable and I used my lightbread

378
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 1: as a spotlight and I lip sync like a virgin,

379
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,879
Speaker 1: like that's who I have to my core, Like I

380
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 1: didn't want the fluorescent lighting in the portable. I wanted

381
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Speaker 1: the spotlight. I rolled around on the floor. Was wildly

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Speaker 1: inappropriate for a third class. What you're saying is they

383
00:19:56,119 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 1: were waiting. I was always a lady for Halloween always

384
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Speaker 1: always my dad, God bless him. Third grade, I was

385
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 1: obsessed with Madonna. I was Madonna for Halloween and he paraded.

386
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Speaker 1: He took me around the neighborhood dressed as Madonna like that,

387
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 1: like ten years. Can you imagine. Yeah, Actually, like my

388
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 1: dad just like was like okay, they just like fully

389
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 1: took me around, you know, very sweet, super sweet. But yeah,

390
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's the thing I didn't come from.

391
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 1: I can come from like a great family. I don't

392
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: really think I have any try like I don't. There's no,

393
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 1: there's nothing really to associated with drugs. Wasn't your outlet

394
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: to like a bad childhood. No, it's just I suffer

395
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 1: from believe it or not, Like I have social anxiety.

396
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 1: I like, you know, I it's hard for me, or

397
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 1: it was hard for me to connect with people, especially

398
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 1: when I was single and I was dating. Like it

399
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,879
Speaker 1: was just I was just like terrified rejection and and

400
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,959
Speaker 1: all of those things. And that just kind of like

401
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 1: loosened me up a bit. Sor to interrupt, we can

402
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:16,239
Speaker 1: continue this conversation with an actual expert that we have

403
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 1: Dr Drew Pinsky on the line to share his vast

404
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: knowledge on the subject. Dr Drew. Hi, great, how are you?

405
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,120
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being here. Thank you, We're

406
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,959
Speaker 1: so excited to have you. Um, we are talking about addiction,

407
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 1: and you know, with everything that's happened with Demi la

408
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,119
Speaker 1: Vado this last week, and UM, it's just something that

409
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 1: we wanted to bring up. Our guest here today is

410
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: Brad Garski and Hector Drew, and he's been telling us

411
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 1: his personal story, so and he he prefaced his story

412
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 1: with he is not an expert, so we have an expert,

413
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 1: and we just wanted to ask you some questions on

414
00:21:56,280 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: the topic. I was gonna let you with s. Yeah.

415
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,679
Speaker 1: I think for with with the Demi situation, UM, a

416
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 1: lot of people are kind of like getting upset with

417
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: her friends and saying like, how did her friends let her,

418
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 1: you know, slip down the slope And is this something

419
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: that friends can can come and kind of help with

420
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 1: or is this like, no, that's that's ridiculous. I mean,

421
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 1: certainly there's an issue with celebrities generally is that they

422
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,160
Speaker 1: tend to really mean Demi is not in this profile,

423
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 1: but you know, certain celebrities will insulate themselves from the

424
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,359
Speaker 1: world by create sort of an inner circle of friends

425
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: that are sycophantic and don't confront them on anything and

426
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 1: allow their addictions to spiral out of control. This is

427
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: not that. This is Demi who had tix years of

428
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 1: successful sobriety. She got it's hard work. There was something,

429
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: there's something wrong with the program she was maintaining. Who

430
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 1: knows what, she'll figure that out. It became tired of

431
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 1: them for her. It became sort of a white knuckling phenomenon.

432
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 1: And you know, sobriety is hard, and her songs she

433
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: told us she tired. I'm sorry, but I'm tired, okay,

434
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 1: and then she relapsed, and you know, people have to

435
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: do things on their own terms. Addicts always have to

436
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 1: convince themselves of their need for recovery, and this was

437
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,880
Speaker 1: part of what she needed to do to convince herself.

438
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,880
Speaker 1: And of course the consequences are worse when you relapse

439
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 1: at the progressive disease. And hopefully now she's ready to

440
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: do the work and then she'll be fine. She'll be fine,

441
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: and she will continue to be an inspiration for other people.

442
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: So if you are a friend or like a family

443
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: member of somebody that is going through an addiction r

444
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: here's what you do. You go to alan on work

445
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 1: your own program. That's really all you can really do

446
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,359
Speaker 1: is you. And I'm telling you, and I make this

447
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: recommendation hand over fist thousands of times a month, and

448
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 1: I'd say five or temperati at the time. People do it, uh,

449
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 1: and it changes the course of the identified patient. I'm

450
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 1: telling you it does. I'm not saying show up in

451
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 1: a meeting one afternoon and everything will be fine. I'm saying,

452
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 1: work a program of your own, and it will change

453
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: the dance you do with the addict, and that will

454
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 1: catch their attention. You can do that. So I can't

455
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 1: tell how many times people say to me I'll do anything.

456
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: I'll do anything. Probably sound I say, good, go to

457
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: an alan, I meaning tonight, Oh, well, what do I

458
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: need to do? Tell me stuff I need to do. No,

459
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,120
Speaker 1: I'm telling you that's what you do. Now. If you're

460
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 1: a parent or your position of authority or somehow leverage

461
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: over the identified patient, use that leverage. You know, if

462
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 1: you have a financial leverage, you have in your personal leverage,

463
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: and for some people it means leaving leaving lost is

464
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: part of the cumulative effects of addiction that does capture

465
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 1: the attention of the patient. Eventually enough pain and they'll

466
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: be willing to turn it around. So you're saying, like,

467
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 1: cut them off, that is one I said, that's one option. Now,

468
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 1: Now you don't do it out of hatred and anger

469
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 1: or out of love and the problem. You can't really

470
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,920
Speaker 1: do that unless you're working an allen On program, because

471
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,199
Speaker 1: people get angry and leave, and that's not how you

472
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: do it. You do it when you really have decided

473
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 1: that it's destructive for you to stay, and you do

474
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 1: so with the support and care of a of a

475
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 1: alan On team, and you say I love you and

476
00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:00,200
Speaker 1: I can't be part of this anymore, and that that

477
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 1: you that you know you can't control somebody's else addiction,

478
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 1: You can't do it. That's the people have to understand.

479
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: It's their disease, their addiction. And unfortunately there's no magic

480
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: potion that allows us to control the people jealnesss when

481
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 1: when those are brain diseases and particularly addiction. So when

482
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 1: you're saying if someone will get to they'll either get

483
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 1: to the point where they say, I said, go to Alana.

484
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: That's what I said, go to Alana and work a program.

485
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 1: I don't know much clearer I can be about that

486
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 1: that's what you need to do. If you actually care

487
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 1: about your friend or loved one, that's what you do. Yeah,

488
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 1: I think you know, as as somebody who goes to

489
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 1: uh to a A. I think, um, you know also

490
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: for addicts to go to alan On as well to

491
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: hear the other side, because you know, we we never

492
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: um consider how we're affecting other people, because our disease

493
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: is all about us. It's a it's a totally selfish disease.

494
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: So I I agree with you. However, early it can

495
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: be kind of evocative and and you never know what

496
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 1: you're gonna get in an all on meeting, You know

497
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 1: what get directed at at an addict. You know, some

498
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: newbies in there might direct some aggression towards them, and

499
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: so you want to make sure your sobriety is stable

500
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,919
Speaker 1: upset before you do that. But then I agree with

501
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 1: you underlying most addicts is a codependency to Yeah for sure. Yeah,

502
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 1: well mind's blown in here. Yeah. Yeah, it's a hard

503
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 1: thing I was telling them, Dr Drew, it's a hard

504
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: thing to um also to you know. The reason why

505
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: for me a A has worked so well is because

506
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 1: it's hard for people who don't suffer from addiction to understand,

507
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 1: you know, like when I heard about DEMI, I was like,

508
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 1: you know, I hear about it. I get it. You know,

509
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: I get it too. Yeah, I'm not angry with that.

510
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,439
Speaker 1: I mean that she has an illness. And you know,

511
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: here's a couple other piece of information, which is, on average,

512
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,719
Speaker 1: it takes four treatments in five years to get one

513
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: year of sobriety on average. My my friend about for

514
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: us to the guy patent and glasses I had separ

515
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 1: to rehab with, he had twenty two treatments and he

516
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like any one of them was a waste

517
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: of his time. Each one was was a cornerstone of

518
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: his recovery. It takes what it takes. It takes a

519
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: long time. It takes a lot of treatment, into a

520
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,680
Speaker 1: lot of effort. Occasionally people get well after a couple

521
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: of treatments. Occasionally that does happen and they can sustain it.

522
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: And occasionally there are things in the recovery or things

523
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: that life throws at the person who's in recovery. Look,

524
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 1: you wouldn't get mad at a diabetic who was on

525
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: their stable dose of insulin whose blood sugar went out

526
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,399
Speaker 1: of control. And needed adjustment of their insulin. It's the

527
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: exact same model with this brain disease we call addiction.

528
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 1: It's the exact same thing now in terms of twelve steps.

529
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 1: A guy named John Kelly was the head of the

530
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: Addiction Medicine program at the Departments of Country at Harvard

531
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 1: is about to publish a Cocker analysis that shows that

532
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: mutual aid societies or is good or better than any

533
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: professionally managed treatment out there. Therefore, we have available every

534
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: twenty all the time, free services that anyone struggling with

535
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 1: this disease or a family member with this disease can't access,

536
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 1: that is as effective as professionally managed treatment. Provided that

537
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: and brought you know this that you do the work. Yeah,

538
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: that's the hard part. Is there any truth to how

539
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 1: they how they say that if you have, like a

540
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 1: family member that has suffered from addiction? Like, are there

541
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: more people that are susceptible to becoming I've treated ten

542
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: tho addicts and I can only think of five that

543
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,880
Speaker 1: I couldn't see a clear genetic link. Oh really, Yeah,

544
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: I think it's a biological disorder with a genetic basis.

545
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 1: The hallmark is progressive use in the phase of adverse

546
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: consequence and denial. That's it that covers all addictions. But

547
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: it's always a genetic basis. So people, if they have

548
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 1: it in their family, they can be proactive if you know, well,

549
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can be. I mean even

550
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: when I was like in the throes of it, I

551
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: you know, is sitting in an a a meeting thinking

552
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: I just had a drug problem, I was like, oh,

553
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 1: I actually have been completely abusing alcohol for like ten

554
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: years and six month in recovery before you had that thought. Yeah,

555
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 1: it was a little while into it because I was

556
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 1: just trying to stop the drugs. When I stopped everything

557
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 1: and then I was like, oh my god, my my.

558
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: My alcohol use was never like watching somebody. You know,

559
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: my husband has maybe like a three quarters of a

560
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,959
Speaker 1: glass of wine and I'm like, how do you do that?

561
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 1: Like there's still a drop in there and then the

562
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: rest of the bottle, Like what kind of effect are

563
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: you getting off of it? Because the effect I want

564
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 1: is like not like not like taking the edge off.

565
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 1: The in fact I want is like fully checking out

566
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: Dr Drew. I have a question, and it's maybe so

567
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 1: simple that the answers are in front of me but

568
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 1: what's the difference between an addict or alcoholic and someone

569
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: who just drinks a lot? And often uh, genetics and consequences.

570
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 1: So if somebody has a fami of history within two

571
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: generations of alcoholism or addiction and they're having mounting consequences

572
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: a normally even a heavy drinking normally when they get

573
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 1: the d y, when they get delivered as these when

574
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 1: they grew up, a marriage will stop, an alcoholic will continue.

575
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: Oh that's fascinating. Yeah, well, thank you so much. We

576
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 1: really appreciate you taking the time just because you know,

577
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people that um that not just

578
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: are struggling with this, but have a lot of people

579
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: in their lives. So your perspective and I'm so amazed

580
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 1: that that people still have trouble getting their head around

581
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: this condition. It's it's given how the success so many

582
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 1: people who have in their recovery and how common it is,

583
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 1: how common the illness is, how common recovery is, and

584
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 1: it's it's a different brain and it's a different thing

585
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: than you're used to if you don't have it, and

586
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: you have to kind of open yourself to what this

587
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: thing is, and if you see it, it becomes very clear,

588
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: and it's it's always smart, wonderful, intelligent people that get

589
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: this damn thing. That's one other thing reasons I fight

590
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: so hard against it. And they can be returned to

591
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: a fully thriving life. But it's heartbreaking, and it takes

592
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 1: some of the best and the youngest and the brightest,

593
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: and it's a very very difficult disease. And particularly today's day,

594
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: when you know people are my profession is they're distributing

595
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: such incredibly powerful substances. Um, we have to get a

596
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,239
Speaker 1: handle on this. But thank you, thanks for having thank you.

597
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: So the thing about getting sober, and I think what

598
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: Dr Drew is saying about helping somebody or dealing with

599
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 1: somebody who is an addict is it's a program of action.

600
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: So there you have to take certain steps, like literally,

601
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 1: I think what he's saying is if you if you

602
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 1: want to help somebody, you have to go to alan On,

603
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: which is like taking time out of your day sitting

604
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: there and like actually getting some tools to deal with

605
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: somebody instead of saying like, well, how do I help.

606
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: How you can help is you can go and get

607
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: you know, a guideline and figure and and the way

608
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 1: to deal with an addict or an alcoholic through physically

609
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: going through Yeah, because I think I got scared a

610
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: little bit. Be could looked at me and was like

611
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 1: you asked the next question, like like I got you.

612
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: I was like scared to the question about, um, what's

613
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: the difference between like an alcoholic and someone who drinks

614
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: a lot? Which I feel like it's a great question.

615
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 1: I was like scared he was gonna be like you idiot, Well,

616
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: the difference is the way that the brain is actually

617
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 1: wired made up, Like you know, I know people who

618
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,719
Speaker 1: can go out for a night and get wasted and

619
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: then like not drink again for another week. But that

620
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 1: doesn't usually happen for most people who have a drinking problem.

621
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,719
Speaker 1: And it's like how Brad was saying how when he

622
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: was recovering he didn't realize until like four or five

623
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 1: months into it that oh wow, I'd have been having

624
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: this drinking problem for this many years until you know,

625
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: because you just think of drugs, hard drugs, like the addiction,

626
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: and then you don't realize, right, like the person who's

627
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 1: not the person who is just drinks a lot is

628
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: not necessarily going to like knows that if they're drinking

629
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 1: on a Sunday that they probably need to get to

630
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: work on Monday morning. The person who was an alcoholic

631
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: or an addict doesn't care about that, so it doesn't matter.

632
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 1: So it's like I could be drinking on a Sunday

633
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: and then not show up to work until Wednesday because

634
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 1: there's no kind of um acknowledgement of there being any consequence.

635
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: You're just doing what you're doing. I feel like I

636
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: like thinking about what doctors. I feel like he hears

637
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: these questions already, like what do we do to help?

638
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 1: How do we do to help? And he's probably tired

639
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 1: of hearing that. He's like, yeah, I definitely. My takeaway

640
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: from that was go to honestly like, wow, that was

641
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: definitely hammered in. Um. It was and it was like

642
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 1: like you were literally scared. That wasn't even like it

643
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 1: was like Tobecca And I was like, oh, she felt

644
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: the repercussion of me being like reprimanded. Um. But you

645
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: know what makes me happy? What Rath these shoes. I

646
00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:00,120
Speaker 1: love Rath these because you know why their style is

647
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: they're sustainable and they're comfortable enough for every day where anywhere. Yes, um,

648
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,399
Speaker 1: if you're ready to try on the most comfortable flat

649
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 1: you've ever worn. You can wear them all day, every

650
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 1: day you want your Raw the shoes. That's true. And

651
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 1: they're actually making flats from recycled plastic water bottles um,

652
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,720
Speaker 1: which I love. We just actually met a guy who

653
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: is taking plastic out of the oceans and turning it

654
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 1: into um prosthetic limbs for people I know, And I

655
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 1: think that's really awesome that that Rath he's doing this. Yeah. So,

656
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 1: Raw The's is everyday flat for life on the go.

657
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:37,760
Speaker 1: It's stylish, classic comfortable. Comes in three fashionable styles, the flat,

658
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:42,479
Speaker 1: the point, and the loafer, and an added bonus, their

659
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:47,240
Speaker 1: machine washable because let's face it, I put my shoes

660
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 1: in the washing machine a lot. Um. Well, yeah, because

661
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: your if your feet sweat, you need you need to

662
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: be able to wash. It's very hot in l A,

663
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 1: so it's hot everywhere. Telling you, I think, I think

664
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 1: we're all going through all. That's true, heat waved way. Um.

665
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: I love my Rath These the Um loafers are so cute,

666
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,839
Speaker 1: so comfortable, and right now, Rathy's has an amazing deal

667
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668
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669
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: returns and exchanges on your Rothy's shoe and trust me,

670
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: you won't return them. So go to rath These dot

671
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672
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Speaker 1: and enter Becca to get your shoes and free shipping. Yeah,

673
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Speaker 1: it's a no brainer. The shoes are that are comfortable,

674
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Speaker 1: stylish and sustainable and there's free shipping. So get yourself

675
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Speaker 1: appare today. That's roth These dot com promo code beck

676
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Speaker 1: co promo code BEECKA and get this deal. Well last,

677
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Speaker 1: once again, that's Rothy's dot com promo code Becca. Well

678
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: there we go. We have an expert and then the

679
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: non expert's opinion. Yeah, and at all and it's all

680
00:35:55,719 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 1: the same. You know, it's really the same information. I think.

681
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 1: I think the I think the really important thing Dr

682
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 1: Drew said to that I didn't really address is that

683
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 1: you know that the addict doesn't have any awareness of

684
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 1: the consequences of his actions. It's just about, you know,

685
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: it's about the party, it's about the it's about chasing

686
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 1: the high, it's about you know, everything. It doesn't you know,

687
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 1: there are people I know who have totally lost their families.

688
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: You know, they've lost their job, their families, and they're like,

689
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: how did I Yeah, I actually want to go with

690
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 1: you at a meeting. You love it? Yeah, you would

691
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 1: love it. Tony would be trying to chime in just

692
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 1: to yeah, I go to I go to my My

693
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: group is UM is an open format, so anybody's walking.

694
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: We have a lot of people come from uh U

695
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: c l A, like a lot of the med students

696
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: come down, and I just think it's such a like

697
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: for me, and I think, you Jesus, I don't have

698
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 1: anybody in my family that struggles with addiction. But I've

699
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 1: dealt with UM guys that I've dated in the past

700
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: that have dealt with addiction in their lives, and it's

701
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: been like kind of a little bit of a jarring

702
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: thing for me because I didn't like one. I remember

703
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: it was like a first date and he I was

704
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 1: like drinking wine and he didn't order wine, and I

705
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 1: was like, hmm, could I do this? And so I

706
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 1: think I'm just naive to the topic because I don't.

707
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: I thankfully I've never had to really deal with anybody

708
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: struggling with addiction like that on that personal of a level,

709
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,399
Speaker 1: you know, because like when I met you you were

710
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 1: on the other end of it. Yeah, I feel like

711
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: you though, like drinking is like so not. I don't know.

712
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 1: I feel like there are people who are like wine

713
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 1: lovers and that doesn't make you. But I'm interested. I'm

714
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: interested to go to an AA meeting and just be

715
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: like a little more like, get a little more information

716
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 1: because i do feel like I'm a little in the

717
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: dark on this topic. I feel like I have UM,

718
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:53,720
Speaker 1: like I said, a lot of it in my family.

719
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: So I feel like it's something I've seen and I've

720
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: watched people. I've watched the families, and I've watched people

721
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 1: suffer from it, the people who are going through it

722
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 1: and their loved ones. So are they sober or they

723
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 1: actively still using UM? Some of them are sober, and

724
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 1: then some of them are, some are some of them

725
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 1: are sober. But then you know, every now and then

726
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 1: there's a real lot you know, it's just and it's

727
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: more UM, you know, uh, painkillers and that kind of stuff.

728
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 1: It's not so much there's a lot of I mean,

729
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 1: hearing him say it is a genetic thing makes a

730
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: lot of sense because you do see it. I feel

731
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 1: like UM within families something that is a very healthy.

732
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 1: I don't have to do that switching gears exactly. We

733
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 1: have we have commercials to get to We don't have

734
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: to be cut transition because it doesn't work. But as

735
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 1: gonna say, a healthy, a healthy outlet to life is

736
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 1: working out. Yeah. I don't work out often, but honestly

737
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,400
Speaker 1: I don't. I always have this feeling of excitement and

738
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 1: happiness once I work out. Oh I'm my best self.

739
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: Post workout, You're like, you're like ringing out your sweagues

740
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: at Orange Theory, which I was so scared for you. Yeah,

741
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 1: I like love, I really do. I really feel like

742
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: you work after a workout. So I think I'm really

743
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: excited that we have Beach Body on Demand as a

744
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: sponsor of the podcast. Yes. Um, beach Body on Demand

745
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 1: is a streaming service with so many workouts, different trainers,

746
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 1: nutrition guides. It's a lot and you have multiple options. Yeah,

747
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: there's P nine t X Insanity, twenty one Day Fixed

748
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: which my friend Melissa just did, Um, Brazil Butt Lift, Yeah,

749
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: hip Hop Abs, three week Yoga Retreat, and more. My

750
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 1: girlfriend Melissa just did it is her favorite. She loves

751
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: shanty and it doesn't require any extra equipment and it's

752
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 1: only twenty five minutes a day, and I feel like

753
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: everyone at some point in their day has twenty five minutes, right,

754
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: I know I do for sure. That's the best part

755
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: of this is that you don't have to go anywhere

756
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: like I think the thing in that it's like you

757
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: have to drive, drive somewhere, get out of the car, pilka,

758
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 1: get back in the car, so you have everything takes longer.

759
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: But with this, it's you have it at the comfort

760
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: of your own home, so you don't You don't have

761
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: to have the drive time twenty five minutes. Everybody has

762
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,280
Speaker 1: the time, and it's you can do it on your tablet,

763
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 1: your smartphone, your TV. You can literally do beach Body

764
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: on demand anywhere that you have a device. Yeah, so

765
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 1: what in the world are you waiting for if you

766
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 1: haven't already join over one million people who are currently

767
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,399
Speaker 1: using beach Body on Demand. Yes, so right now, our

768
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 1: listeners can get a special free trial membership when you

769
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 1: text Becca to thirty thirty thirty, so you'll get full

770
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 1: access to the entire platform for free, all the workouts,

771
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:56,760
Speaker 1: the nutrition information, and the support. It's all free. Okay again,

772
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,760
Speaker 1: just texted back at the thirty thirty. That's three zero

773
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: zero three zero And what do you have to text? Becka? Wait,

774
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: didn't we do the three part last time? Mr Q.

775
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 1: We're gonna try that again. Text. We're going to text

776
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 1: and we're going to text promo code BUCKA. Wasn't our best,

777
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: but we'll do better on the next one. Al Right.

778
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: We have another expert joining us now. Her name is

779
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: Haley Hewitt, and let me activate that line. There we go,

780
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 1: Hi Haley, Hi there, Haley, Thank you so much for

781
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: being here, Thanks for having Yeah. So, um, we are

782
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 1: just touching on the topic of addiction today. Um. We

783
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 1: have Brad Garski in here, who is sober se it

784
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 1: teens congratulation, Thank you, and um we talked to Dr

785
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: Drew earlier and he gave us some advice, but we

786
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,360
Speaker 1: just had a few questions. I know that this is

787
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: part of your expertise and kind of what you deal

788
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 1: with on a regular basis. So um, we were kind

789
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 1: of curious for people to know if if someone has

790
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 1: a friend or a loved one and they see them

791
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: going down this path in the slippery slope of what

792
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 1: could become an serious addiction, like what do you do,

793
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:19,760
Speaker 1: how do you help? And how do you step in right? Yeah,

794
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,239
Speaker 1: being in community and being supported by loved ones and

795
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 1: family members is the remedy and so important in recovery.

796
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,840
Speaker 1: I think, you know, some psycho education is important, educating oneself,

797
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 1: just knowing the relapse rate is around fourty six and

798
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: individuals even who remain abstinent from drugs alcohol for five

799
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: years ten years can relapse I think one in five

800
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: percentage there. So having that compassion of understanding and normalizing

801
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,760
Speaker 1: that lap is a part of recovery is important. UM.

802
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,320
Speaker 1: And of course, you know, things like saying you messed

803
00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: up UM would make somebody working through addiction feel quite defensive.

804
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 1: So phrases like I'm worried about your health. I noticed

805
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 1: the difficult situations you've been facing lately. UM. Those are

806
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: sorts of statements that would be more helpful. UM. And

807
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,399
Speaker 1: just talking about the effect your friends drinking or drug

808
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: use has on whatever that person cares about, maybe career, children,

809
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 1: your friendship. UM. I think in the throes of addiction

810
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 1: it's hard to feel concerned about one's own situation for

811
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: whatever reason, whether it's you know, shame and guilt stigma. UM.

812
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 1: But I think especially women are wired for connection but anon,

813
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: we all are, and so reminding them of loved ones

814
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 1: and UM impact to tell them that it's important. Consistency

815
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 1: is crucial. So you say, you're discussing, you know, with

816
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: your friends how the drug addiction worries you, and then

817
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:57,840
Speaker 1: you're watching them partake in the activity sends mixed messages.

818
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: So I think not the present for their youth and

819
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: really removing theirselves is one way to help maintain consistency

820
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:13,800
Speaker 1: around the court and managing expectations. So I think friends

821
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: and family need to know, and all of us in

822
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 1: relationships that were responsible for our own self care and

823
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:25,439
Speaker 1: our own feelings, which means we're all, you know, practicing UM,

824
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: our hobby, healthy diet, we schedule, UM, really taking responsibility

825
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 1: for ourselves, and that's valuable modeling for those who are

826
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,720
Speaker 1: in active recovery. For somebody that's like, let's just say there,

827
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,800
Speaker 1: they have somebody new in their life, so they started

828
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 1: dating somebody or um, they just met somebody, and they

829
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: are a recovering addict. What is something that they should

830
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 1: know going moving forward with that relationship. Yeah, so I

831
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 1: think I would be curious about their community support. UM,

832
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 1: you know I would. I would be curious about what

833
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 1: brings them joy, what is meaningful to them. I think

834
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 1: addiction can be understood as a bind so in the

835
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: brain we become bound to these substances or addictions that

836
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 1: where they bound in life that is healthy and meaningful.

837
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: So I'd be interested to hear UM what sort of

838
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,799
Speaker 1: support did they already have and how they're maintaining their

839
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: recovery UM, and even if they're aware of UM, what

840
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:31,280
Speaker 1: sort of triggers could contribute to relapse. So that's important. Yeah,

841
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: like high stress periods UM and even like beginning a

842
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 1: new relationship, like communicating with them, you know, this could

843
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 1: be triggering. And I you know, I understand that some

844
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:46,720
Speaker 1: other triggers you know, could be UM boredom or mental

845
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 1: physical health concerns, UM, intimacy issues UM. And so I

846
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: was kind of assessed UM in the new relationship, And

847
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 1: it's all about communication if they're aware of some of

848
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,800
Speaker 1: these triggers UM, and on what they use for support

849
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 1: when the triggers come up. I'm like, even recovery milestone

850
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: can be re left trigger. You know of one near sobriety,

851
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 1: the fear around that and even increased self esteem. So

852
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 1: I think just referencing our warrior out for Demilovado right now,

853
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 1: her thinking that alcohol used is separate from her other

854
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: addictions and won't trigger the other addiction. Um, you know,

855
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: the increased off esteem may be feeling good can be

856
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: really common, but also a misconception. Um, it's all the

857
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 1: same mechanism in the brain. Even social media and texting

858
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:43,240
Speaker 1: can trigger that dopamine cycle of of real high highs

859
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: and then crashing loads and the rembed eats. That is sustainable,

860
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: meaningful connection and relationship rather than the quick fix that

861
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:59,319
Speaker 1: our culture property. Yeah, that's really interesting. Actually, I never

862
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 1: even thought about a lot of that stuff actually as

863
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: being triggers and having somebody that's so aware of themselves. Well,

864
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 1: that's also why you know, it's daily maintenance. Like it's

865
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:13,799
Speaker 1: not something that you can you can be like, oh

866
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm gonna take like you know, I graduated,

867
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 1: So the year milestone, the five year milestone, the ten

868
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 1: year milestone, it's like, no, the work, Like the work

869
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: has to continue because that you know, it's progress not perfection.

870
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: So it's like we're not it's it's every single day

871
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: like thinking for me, it's not like oh I did

872
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: all this bad yesterday or you know, it's every single

873
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: day for me. It's like, how can I like be

874
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 1: better in some way, shape or form? Is it do?

875
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 1: I is my mechanism for reaction to people and things

876
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 1: too big? Like how do I get back to a

877
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: place where you know, I'm not so worried about the

878
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 1: person cutting me off or taking my parking, like all

879
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 1: of those small things. When those things start bothering me,

880
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not good now, you know, Like I

881
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 1: need to kind of every single day check at least

882
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 1: if I can't physically make it into a meeting and share,

883
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:10,479
Speaker 1: I have to be checking in with other people who

884
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: are trying to stay sober for twenty four hours, and

885
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 1: checking in with myself right, checking in with the sensation

886
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 1: underneath the thoughts and the feeling. So really getting into

887
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 1: the body, whether it's just through meditation or yoga or dancing,

888
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 1: any sort of embodied presence practice is so important on

889
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,240
Speaker 1: a daily basis, as you're saying, to be in touch

890
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: with those urges, those you know, the monkey mind that

891
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:41,240
Speaker 1: is constantly flooding us with thoughts and feelings that perhaps

892
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 1: aren't even true, or perhaps we don't need to act

893
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: on UM, but kind of exploring the sensations underneath, which

894
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 1: we reference an addiction as urge surfing, So surfing out

895
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 1: the urge or the impulse, and like really studying the

896
00:48:56,880 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 1: sensation of it, which is valuable UM, A valuable tool

897
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: that we can really learn through the meditation and mindfulness

898
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: yoga practices UM in terms of programming the brain. So

899
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: we have an impulse and then we act on it,

900
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 1: but I think one can slow down enough and get

901
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:18,240
Speaker 1: into the sensory experience. We have the impulse, we witnessed

902
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: the sensations of it and watch it pass, and then

903
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: maybe we don't have to act on it exactly, give

904
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 1: it some space. Yeah. Awesome, Haley HEWITTT, thank you so

905
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 1: much for calling into We really appreciate you taking the time.

906
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 1: It's my pleasure. I have a license therapist up in

907
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:40,280
Speaker 1: the Bay area, so if you're interested in working together,

908
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 1: I'm at hewitt m FT dot com A T W

909
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 1: I T T, and I run groups and work with

910
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 1: individuals and families. Awesome, thanks for being here. Thank you

911
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 1: for having me shifting gearshift. I would like to talk

912
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: about another sponsor of this wonderful potare has nothing to

913
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 1: do with what we're talking about. Nothing, because it has

914
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 1: to do with our eyeballs. Okay, I like to see. Yeah,

915
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: you struggle to see. Do you wear context, girl, I'm

916
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: wearing glasses right now. I wore colored ones once, like

917
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: the ones that like they make their eyes sparkle. Wow. Anyway,

918
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 1: I think if you did wear switching gears, I think

919
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 1: that you would really enjoy Hubble contacts. Do you know

920
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: why because you get a new pair every single day. Yeah,

921
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 1: that's so you don't have to reuse them. Do you

922
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 1: know how people put them in those weird water containers

923
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 1: And it's like how I put my gum on my

924
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 1: phone when there's still flavor. Laugh. I would just be

925
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 1: wearing my contacts over and over. But this is like

926
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,919
Speaker 1: getting a new pair of new package of gum every

927
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:54,359
Speaker 1: every single time. And this is the best part. It's

928
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 1: sixty contacts for thirty three dollars. So you do the math,

929
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 1: that's barely like a dollar a day. That's spend a

930
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: dollar a day. Yeah, I don't know how that works.

931
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 1: Tony is not great at math, but it's more affordable

932
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: than any other brand. And all you have to do

933
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: is go to Hubble Contacts Dot com and you get

934
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:15,879
Speaker 1: your first two weeks for free. Rad Yeah, contacts are

935
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: really I don't know if you know that, but they

936
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: are really expensive because for companies control the market until

937
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:26,480
Speaker 1: Hubble came along. Yeah, so they can send you to

938
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 1: an optometris if you don't have a prescription, and it's

939
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: never been more convenient or affordable. You're not over paying,

940
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 1: You're not overwearing, which a lot of people do. And

941
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,919
Speaker 1: it's featured in Vogue, g Q, tech Crunch, and Mash Doable.

942
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,359
Speaker 1: So make sure you guys, go to Hubble contact dot

943
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,359
Speaker 1: com to get your first two weeks of lenses for free.

944
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:49,360
Speaker 1: That's fifteen pairs of lenses for free. Yeah, so go

945
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 1: to Hubble Contacts dot com and you'll see the difference.

946
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 1: Make sure to select scrubbing in with Beck at Tilly

947
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 1: at checkout. That's h U B B l E Contacts

948
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 1: dot com. And make sure you still like our show

949
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly at checkout. Um, we can't

950
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:11,720
Speaker 1: do a for this, but select scrubbing in with Bacca

951
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 1: pretty good. Just to put a period at the end

952
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,359
Speaker 1: of this conversation we've been having today. TMZ just had

953
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 1: an update the Demilovado is still in the hospital. Um

954
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,880
Speaker 1: she's very, very sick, it says here sources with firsthound

955
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 1: knowledge that she's suffering from extreme nausea and a high fever,

956
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:37,400
Speaker 1: among other things. These are among the complications related to

957
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 1: the overdose. It was so severe. Her life wasn't jeopardy.

958
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 1: She wasn't conscious when they arrived, and they gave her

959
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 1: the narkan to resuscitate her and antidote to the opioid

960
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 1: O D which we don't know exactly which one it was,

961
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:51,719
Speaker 1: but that doesn't really matter, I don't think. So that's

962
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: an update on that. That's just a few minutes ago

963
00:52:54,719 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 1: from TMZ. Prayers. Prayers, because like a long road, it's

964
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 1: a long long road, especially with so many eyes on

965
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 1: you and so many people talking about it, that's like

966
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 1: a lot. Oh, I'm not suffering, suffering in this situation,

967
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 1: being in this situation in general, I can't really grasp it,

968
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 1: but it being on every new side and every I mean,

969
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 1: she I feel like she's gotten so much support from it,

970
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 1: Like you know, it's not like people are like being

971
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 1: horrible to her, but it's it's like having to go

972
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:32,720
Speaker 1: through something so personal, so publicly so I'll never forget

973
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 1: she came out of I think she had come out

974
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:36,600
Speaker 1: of rehab. It was I don't know how many times

975
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: she has been in, because one of the times she

976
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: just came out of rehab and she came to the

977
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 1: morning show to do on it with Ryan Sea Christness

978
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: right after UM Give Your Heart a Break came out.

979
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 1: And it was the day after the song came out.

980
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:51,400
Speaker 1: It like leaked online or something, so I really had

981
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,879
Speaker 1: only had it for like twelve hours. And she came

982
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 1: in and like people around were saying, you know, she

983
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 1: was not not in like a little bit of a

984
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,239
Speaker 1: not I don't I don't know, not a good not

985
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 1: a good headspace, but like a more timid, you know,

986
00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:12,720
Speaker 1: like not Yeah. So she came in and I started

987
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 1: singing the song. We played the song back and I

988
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: started singing a song because I've listened to it on

989
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: repeat since it came out. I knew every single word

990
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 1: and like we had this like crazy, really weird connection.

991
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 1: And the people behind me were saying, like this this

992
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 1: is you don't have no idea like what this is

993
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: doing to her internally, like you know what I mean,

994
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: Like she's like to see just because she was struggling,

995
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 1: She was more subdued. Seeing your reaction to her music

996
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 1: brought her up. Brought her up. Yeah, I got her

997
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:42,400
Speaker 1: excited about this. I got her to focus on that

998
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 1: really wonderful thing in her life music. Yeah. But it's

999
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 1: like it's so hard because I feel like I really do,

1000
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 1: like even though she's not like she, I feel like

1001
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: she's been so much to so many people, you know

1002
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:58,359
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like her songs have gotten people out

1003
00:54:58,400 --> 00:54:59,839
Speaker 1: of it and they even started this hashtag. I can't

1004
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 1: rememb what the hashtag was, but it was like DEMI

1005
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 1: got me through and sort of this campaign um of

1006
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:07,879
Speaker 1: outpouring of love because I feel like she's probably been

1007
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 1: inundated and bombarded with just like news updates of like

1008
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:14,320
Speaker 1: this is what's new with what's going on in her

1009
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 1: state of health. And to be able to see fans

1010
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 1: and people like that reach out with like such positive

1011
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:25,319
Speaker 1: response and reinforcement I think is hopefully hopefully encouraging in

1012
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 1: some way to her. Well. I think she's helped so

1013
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 1: many people by being, you know, so honest about her triumphs,

1014
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 1: her struggles, and you know, I my you know, obviously,

1015
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:44,799
Speaker 1: my thoughts and prayers and Um, you know, I hope

1016
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,879
Speaker 1: she guess what she needs, and I'm sure she will

1017
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 1: once she gets out. And you know, she's one of

1018
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 1: the most I believe talented vocalist singers down out there

1019
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:59,800
Speaker 1: right now, and um has been for so many years,

1020
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:02,720
Speaker 1: and UM, you know, I just I hope she gets

1021
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:04,840
Speaker 1: I hope she gets what she needs and gets on.

1022
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:07,919
Speaker 1: I'm sure she'll. She'll be on a a great path.

1023
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 1: Think got herself, you know, rebooted again. Yeah. Shall we

1024
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:16,440
Speaker 1: wrap up with some emails today? Yeah? These are fun.

1025
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 1: You know, people have got stuff going on. We got

1026
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 1: to if we can have stuff going Ashley's a nanny.

1027
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 1: She's been with the current family for four and a

1028
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: half years. They have four kids. Shift today she noticed

1029
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 1: a camera has been placed in the living room, out

1030
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,320
Speaker 1: in the open. It's not hidden out in the open.

1031
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:34,440
Speaker 1: Do I bring it up to my boss or I

1032
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 1: ignore it? Some background, she's been in any for eight

1033
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 1: and a half years and she's very close with this family.

1034
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 1: She's traveled extensively with this family, lived with them part time.

1035
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,879
Speaker 1: Both parents are now stay at home, but she's still there.

1036
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 1: Is the nanny. What would you do in this situation?

1037
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 1: I love being on camera, So I'd be fine with it.

1038
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 1: I'd be like, how's the lighting? Uh, don't stress over it? Right?

1039
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,439
Speaker 1: What does she say it's weird? Yeah, I think it's

1040
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: super weird. But maybe it's not even for her. Maybe

1041
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 1: it's some other for the kids. Maybe the kids have

1042
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: been like acting like you guys, it's for it's to

1043
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:14,319
Speaker 1: see the interaction with her and the kids. That's all.

1044
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 1: You have a nanny camp, right, I suppose, Mark, Why

1045
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,200
Speaker 1: would you get a nanny camp if you were out

1046
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: I want to see what's going on with nanny when

1047
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 1: I'm out there. Yeah. It would also tell me that

1048
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 1: the kids maybe are complaining about the nanny or something.

1049
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 1: They want to see it before they say anything. Yeah,

1050
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 1: but if it's out in the open, I wonder if

1051
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 1: they have a dog, because sometimes I've thought about like

1052
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:40,480
Speaker 1: getting ab isn't it called pet cube? Well maybe it?

1053
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 1: Maybe it's Maybe it looks like a normal camera. But

1054
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,439
Speaker 1: it's just I'm just saying I felt about getting one

1055
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,440
Speaker 1: just to see what Phoebe's doing when I when I

1056
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 1: eventually leave her out and I tell you what she's doing?

1057
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 1: What sleeping? I don't know. I'm just saying, if they

1058
00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: have dogs, maybe it's for the dog. I personally would

1059
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 1: bring it up because I would be so like it

1060
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 1: would not like that either, especially after eight and a

1061
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 1: half years or sorry, four and a half years. I'd

1062
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 1: be like, something's up. I think it's worth saying. Is

1063
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:17,040
Speaker 1: there Do you have any concerns with me as your nanny?

1064
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,000
Speaker 1: Of course, and there's well, I know, where's the camera.

1065
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,520
Speaker 1: I just wanted to make sure that everything's fine with us. Oh,

1066
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 1: don't be silly. No, we have them in every room

1067
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 1: of the house. It's just on the security system or whatever. Yeah,

1068
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 1: that's what I would. I would bring it up because

1069
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,880
Speaker 1: they're not trying to catch her doing something inappropriate or stealing.

1070
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:33,439
Speaker 1: If it's just out in the open, that's correct, right, Yes,

1071
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:36,320
Speaker 1: she's not going to steal. If it's the guys and

1072
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: a plant and then watering the plants and found a camera,

1073
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 1: then I would be a little I just have issue

1074
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 1: with cameras in general for some reason, like with that

1075
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 1: type of stuff, Like I get like having one your

1076
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 1: front door, but I don't know, it's like, do you

1077
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 1: want to live your life just like watching videos of

1078
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:54,240
Speaker 1: people that you're supposed to be trusting, and like it

1079
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:57,440
Speaker 1: does get more every day. It seems like every doorbell

1080
00:58:57,480 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 1: and now was a video doorbell. Yeah. I don't know.

1081
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 1: It just seems like I don't know. I don't know.

1082
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,439
Speaker 1: I don't like it. Uri has been dating a guy

1083
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 1: for about three months. They met five months ago, and

1084
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 1: she found out there's a girl in his life. They've

1085
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:12,200
Speaker 1: been friends in high school. She's one of his best friends.

1086
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 1: Her name Uri. Okay, I'm trying to find the email.

1087
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 1: No problem, she said, no problem with a girl, best friend,

1088
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 1: No issue. But then he let on. At one point

1089
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 1: in their friendship, they did have a period of time

1090
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: where they hooked up. No no, no. Since then they

1091
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 1: both decided to just be friends. He was very honest

1092
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 1: with me. Wants me to feel comfortable with the idea

1093
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: for being back in his life. She doesn't lived here

1094
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 1: in l A, but she visits home from time to time.

1095
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 1: I do feel a little jealous. I do feel little threatened.

1096
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 1: I hate that I feel this way. I haven't stopped

1097
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 1: thinking about it since. Is this okay? I struggle. I

1098
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 1: feel like you're gonna say it's fine because you somehow

1099
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 1: have friends that you've hooked up with, or somehow you're

1100
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 1: friends with people that you've hooked up with in the past. Well,

1101
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 1: I'm friendly. I don't think I'm not like friends with

1102
00:59:55,240 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 1: people that because you are, oh my gosh, does not count.

1103
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 1: That's the autonomy of count. That's somebody that you've hooked

1104
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 1: up with that you're still friends with, you hang out

1105
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 1: with him. We did not hook up. What, yes, you did.

1106
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 1: We had a drunk kiss is not drunken kiss. Drunken

1107
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 1: kiss that's hooked up, right. No, we both acknowledged that

1108
01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 1: we were drunk and like it was didn't mean anything.

1109
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:30,920
Speaker 1: Did you touch stuff? Literally was like the most innocent.

1110
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 1: I think it's okay. I think first base is okay. Really,

1111
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 1: I think it's different. A drunken first base is more different.

1112
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 1: I think this is in your situation. I think that

1113
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:46,760
Speaker 1: was even the situation we brought up. I'm shocked, like

1114
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 1: it was irrelevant that whole thing. I wouldn't even I

1115
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 1: wouldn't even tell someone. Well, that's interesting because if they

1116
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 1: find out that that happened, even a drunken kiss, and

1117
01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 1: you didn't tell them, they're going to be upset. Yeah,

1118
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 1: but I would just be like it was so irrelevant

1119
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:02,440
Speaker 1: that I didn't even think I need to bring it

1120
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:04,560
Speaker 1: up to be an argument. I'd love to have love

1121
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 1: a good argument. I wouldn't have stopped that a drunken

1122
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 1: death like stuff would have been touched, definitely, stuff would

1123
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 1: have been touched during the kiss sees the carpet DM.

1124
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:20,200
Speaker 1: But in your situation, there's a period of time where

1125
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 1: they hooked up so multiple times. Who knows how far

1126
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 1: they're Because I got it, it is different. But I

1127
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 1: am going to say this is okay, I am too,

1128
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:31,800
Speaker 1: But I think that's like a super male perspective. Maybe

1129
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 1: it is, But is he now because he hooked up

1130
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 1: with this person once upon a time and is still

1131
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:37,959
Speaker 1: friends with her, he has two choices not be friends

1132
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 1: with her anymore because of that, or never date anyone again,

1133
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 1: or keep it a secret from them. Wait, there's a

1134
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 1: difference of being friends and yeah, there's a difference between

1135
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 1: friends and friendly. What am I like not getting this? Yeah,

1136
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just saying like being someone like

1137
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I think when you're in a

1138
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 1: relationship with someone, if you have a best female friend,

1139
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:06,600
Speaker 1: you have to acknowledge that they're not the main girl

1140
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:10,000
Speaker 1: in your life anymore, And especially when it's someone that

1141
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 1: you've hooked up with if his current if she's insecure

1142
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 1: and jealous, he needs to be very sensitive to that

1143
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 1: and hear what she's saying. Yes, he absolutely does, but

1144
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 1: he's been very honest with her about this. If she

1145
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 1: found out and he hadn't told her, but he's being

1146
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 1: very upfront about it because it's so far in the past.

1147
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:29,440
Speaker 1: I don't think he needs the scroll as the best friend.

1148
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying. I think you can be friends.

1149
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,080
Speaker 1: I don't think he needs her as a best friend.

1150
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 1: Are like people supposed to come to relationships without any

1151
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 1: sexual history, but you have to have like a best

1152
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 1: friend relationship, Like like, um, if I had hooked up

1153
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: a real hook up with this person and then I

1154
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 1: was dating someone else, I wouldn't be hanging out with

1155
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 1: him constantly make the other person insecure like I had

1156
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 1: that I was like cooking up with for like months

1157
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:03,800
Speaker 1: at a time, and after we ended things, I'm still

1158
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 1: friendly with him. When I see him at places, I'm like, hey,

1159
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 1: how are you Like You're not like going to the movies? Hell? No,

1160
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 1: I mean this is a good point. How many friends

1161
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 1: do need once you're in a relationship. I think you

1162
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:17,880
Speaker 1: do call to her a little bit in terms of friends,

1163
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 1: maybe the opposite sex. One's kind of that happens all

1164
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 1: my exes and tons of guys. She has been absent

1165
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:30,760
Speaker 1: from our lives. Like how people are so aggri about this.

1166
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:32,560
Speaker 1: They're like, you can't be friends with your eggs and

1167
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:34,400
Speaker 1: you can't, mamama if you have my boyfriend. It's like,

1168
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,640
Speaker 1: you know what, you can do, whatever you want, whatever

1169
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:40,640
Speaker 1: works for you, Like, come on, let's get an alignment

1170
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 1: and stay. Amy's peaceful today. Not knocked on my bar

1171
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:50,959
Speaker 1: tex a minute ago, but she's in. She came back.

1172
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:58,600
Speaker 1: Her chocolates are a line rank A ko. Yeah, yeah,

1173
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 1: I don't know that. No, no, ideo, what you're talking about? Okay,

1174
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:06,880
Speaker 1: all right. One more from Nikita left August. Her brother

1175
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,959
Speaker 1: got married after six weeks of dating and two months

1176
01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:11,720
Speaker 1: of being engaged. I was vocal about my concerns and

1177
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:14,919
Speaker 1: the red flags in the relationship. She left him two

1178
01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:17,360
Speaker 1: months later and stole his car and all the money

1179
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:21,000
Speaker 1: in his bank account within a week before filing for

1180
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,919
Speaker 1: an element. She started dating one of his old high

1181
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 1: school buddies. Eleven months later, she's engaged again to this

1182
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 1: friend and they're getting married next month. So her question

1183
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 1: is do I reach out to the new husband to

1184
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 1: be and let him know what she did to her brother,

1185
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 1: or do I hang back let nature run its course.

1186
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:42,160
Speaker 1: It's not my place, but if I was engaged with

1187
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:44,440
Speaker 1: someone like that, I'd want to know immediately. S Os,

1188
01:04:44,560 --> 01:04:48,919
Speaker 1: this is a tough one for me and you three

1189
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:52,680
Speaker 1: apparently because I'm getting silence. Well, Brad has a strong thought.

1190
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:55,520
Speaker 1: Brat immediately said, yes, tell her. Yeah, I would. I

1191
01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 1: would reach out and just like kind of give the

1192
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:00,960
Speaker 1: four one one on what happened, because that's like somebody

1193
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 1: who's like, it's like, um, what do you call those

1194
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:08,560
Speaker 1: scam Yeah, like like, yeah, totally both of those psycho

1195
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 1: path and scammer. One thing is you don't owe this

1196
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: girl anything, like it's not like you need to be

1197
01:05:13,760 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 1: sensitive to her feelings or her like future of what

1198
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:18,960
Speaker 1: could happen. So I would tell him. I would be like, listen,

1199
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:20,960
Speaker 1: this is what happened with my brother. I know it's

1200
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,200
Speaker 1: your your life, your decisions, but I just wanted to

1201
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:25,840
Speaker 1: let you know what happened with with that situation that

1202
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 1: I was that I witnessed she was she would go

1203
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:32,200
Speaker 1: for the friend of the guy. She did this clearly

1204
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:34,240
Speaker 1: he's going to know about this. It's interesting that to

1205
01:05:34,360 --> 01:05:36,760
Speaker 1: go to somebody so close to the guy that she

1206
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:40,720
Speaker 1: already ripped off. Yeah, that's not a good scam artist. Yeah.

1207
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:44,720
Speaker 1: It all seems really confusing and dark and weird, and

1208
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:46,520
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would want any part of it.

1209
01:05:47,520 --> 01:05:49,240
Speaker 1: I'd be like Taylor Swift and I'd be like, I

1210
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:51,080
Speaker 1: just want to be excluded from this narrative. I get

1211
01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 1: that too, I get to stay out of it. No, No,

1212
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 1: she didn't know this. It's like, what what does she have?

1213
01:05:58,560 --> 01:06:01,160
Speaker 1: But like you might like the girl might come back

1214
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:04,760
Speaker 1: and scam her. That's her. That's what she has to lose.

1215
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 1: But other than that, but not saying anything nothing. Yeah,

1216
01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:11,720
Speaker 1: but what does she ever lose by saying something? Right,

1217
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:14,440
Speaker 1: She's not gonna lose this either of these friendships. Yeah, Like,

1218
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 1: I don't feel like she's close to this guy like that,

1219
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:18,440
Speaker 1: she feels like she needs him in her life. She's

1220
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:20,040
Speaker 1: just like trying to give him a friendly warn. You

1221
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:26,080
Speaker 1: know what they say, lose lifts sink ships. That's that's

1222
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 1: actually good. That wasn't made up from you. I don't

1223
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:33,280
Speaker 1: think it's I don't know that it's appropriate. For this conversation.

1224
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:41,400
Speaker 1: But phrase, yeah, it has nothing to do with the situation. Nicated.

1225
01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:46,000
Speaker 1: That's not official advice. That's more like gossip. Yeah, this

1226
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:49,919
Speaker 1: isn't gossip. This was like all like life. I say

1227
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:53,280
Speaker 1: tell him, I say tell him to I say, Taylor Swift,

1228
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:57,440
Speaker 1: It okay, three one. Taylor Swift doesn't necessarily she wants

1229
01:06:57,480 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 1: to be excluded from the narrative, but she's still part

1230
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 1: of the arrative. Yeah, but because they're all still constantly

1231
01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:06,120
Speaker 1: writing songs about each other even though there's like no,

1232
01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:08,440
Speaker 1: I can't, I can't. Can you imagine if that was

1233
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 1: your way of getting back, if somebody was like, I'm

1234
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:16,080
Speaker 1: going to write a top ten single, you know, I

1235
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 1: legit wrote a song after my big, big, big bread up.

1236
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:24,400
Speaker 1: Legit wrote a song and it's called it was Actually so,

1237
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:26,680
Speaker 1: Demi Levato wrote a song that got me through my

1238
01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 1: breakup that was like it was called um Lion Heart. No,

1239
01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:33,720
Speaker 1: it's older than that. It was a song called um.

1240
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:35,800
Speaker 1: It's called in case. So she talks about how she

1241
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 1: keeps his jacket just in case he comes back like

1242
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:40,440
Speaker 1: this like song because I keep it just in case.

1243
01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:43,800
Speaker 1: I wrote the follow up to that. Demi Lovato song.

1244
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:47,680
Speaker 1: I actually told her about this too, by the way, No,

1245
01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 1: I think she loved him, but like probably weirded at

1246
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:53,360
Speaker 1: the same time. I do have this song that you

1247
01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:56,440
Speaker 1: could possibly sing for us next week. Yeah, I definitely

1248
01:07:56,480 --> 01:07:58,880
Speaker 1: have the lyrics. I definitely. It's not on this computer, writer,

1249
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:01,760
Speaker 1: so you own the public then you can sing it

1250
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:08,920
Speaker 1: on this Oh my god, what's a call? That's on

1251
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:10,920
Speaker 1: my other computer? But I literally wrote it, so it's

1252
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:12,919
Speaker 1: basically follow up to in Case. So if you've heard

1253
01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 1: in Case, it's the follow up. And I wrote it

1254
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 1: and it was like the best therapy. I wrote the lyrics.

1255
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:23,040
Speaker 1: Is there a melody as well? Now essentially a poem,

1256
01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:24,720
Speaker 1: but I was hoping one day to give it to

1257
01:08:24,800 --> 01:08:26,800
Speaker 1: like a songwriter and just like have them because I

1258
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:30,120
Speaker 1: would be so epic. I think that's all the teams

1259
01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 1: we need for next week. Next week's left, and we

1260
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:38,920
Speaker 1: also need to discuss Justin Justin Jason tart Jason Tartick,

1261
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:44,200
Speaker 1: I know it happened right before this podcast began. Yeah,

1262
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:55,200
Speaker 1: so good is it? Though? Mark, No, it's so annoying

1263
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:58,400
Speaker 1: because first of all, you were booing bobby bones. What's

1264
01:08:58,439 --> 01:09:08,639
Speaker 1: the bobby bones? You know what is that morning radio

1265
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:12,360
Speaker 1: hosted and I want to say Washington, d c NAE, Nashville, Tennessee.

1266
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:17,840
Speaker 1: I'll tell you about it when we do our thing today. Okay,

1267
01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:21,240
Speaker 1: it was a new choreograph dance. By the way, I

1268
01:09:21,280 --> 01:09:24,200
Speaker 1: was at a party on Saturday night and like so

1269
01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:26,559
Speaker 1: many people were, I was kept on taxing toy and like,

1270
01:09:26,760 --> 01:09:28,920
Speaker 1: people are asking me for another dance. And these aren't

1271
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:32,280
Speaker 1: just people, these are like Brad's dropping like major names here.

1272
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:35,879
Speaker 1: He's like vladi blah. Like I was like, okay, fans.

1273
01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:40,880
Speaker 1: What you're saying is the fans want more? Yeah, how

1274
01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:43,559
Speaker 1: are these people? Are we going to do? I'm stressed.

1275
01:09:44,080 --> 01:09:47,799
Speaker 1: I don't figure it out. Okay, So um our teasers

1276
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:49,519
Speaker 1: for next week. Tony is going to bring in her

1277
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,439
Speaker 1: song lyrics. That's a big one. Yeah. It's a follow

1278
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:55,040
Speaker 1: up to just in case or in case. It's called

1279
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:57,439
Speaker 1: in case o case, So brush up on that song

1280
01:09:57,520 --> 01:10:00,479
Speaker 1: if you haven't heard it, Batto in case. I'm brushed

1281
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:03,960
Speaker 1: up on that. Part two by rad is there is

1282
01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:06,920
Speaker 1: the title written on the paper that you should find

1283
01:10:06,920 --> 01:10:09,080
Speaker 1: with the lyrics. Yeah, it's like the word that you

1284
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:13,439
Speaker 1: just can't remember. I'm looking forward to it to be

1285
01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:16,320
Speaker 1: excited to see what the title is. Who could I

1286
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:19,679
Speaker 1: slip it to to like have them make us Jillian Michaels. Yeah, right,

1287
01:10:20,320 --> 01:10:23,360
Speaker 1: justin tranter or something. Yeah, so that is something to

1288
01:10:23,400 --> 01:10:25,720
Speaker 1: look forward to. We'll hear we'll have more of an

1289
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 1: update from the Jason thing because that segment will air

1290
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:34,400
Speaker 1: win it's already aired this morning, okay, but the mentel

1291
01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:36,519
Speaker 1: all is tonight, so we'll have more of an opinion

1292
01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:39,479
Speaker 1: on that whole thing. But wow, strong opinions from Mark

1293
01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:43,719
Speaker 1: over in the corner. I want what's best for like fat,

1294
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:46,760
Speaker 1: I'm like very I like this. I'll just say one

1295
01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:49,080
Speaker 1: more thing. I've worked with radio people for twenty years.

1296
01:10:49,439 --> 01:10:54,559
Speaker 1: Get out of the pool. You're someone with the wrong

1297
01:10:54,600 --> 01:11:02,400
Speaker 1: fish dark. No, he's being real. I like this quick

1298
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:04,720
Speaker 1: shout out before we go. Have you wrapped yet on

1299
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:08,120
Speaker 1: this show? Beca because you were promising a wrap I'm

1300
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:10,000
Speaker 1: just the worst. Can we tease that for next week

1301
01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:14,160
Speaker 1: or will that be an unfulfilled tease? Wow? Can someone

1302
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:16,599
Speaker 1: give me a song specifically to learn? Do you want

1303
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:19,800
Speaker 1: to go old school Tony? Give me a rap song

1304
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:25,920
Speaker 1: to learn? Big Sean, Big Sean um. No, I'm like, oh,

1305
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:30,160
Speaker 1: that would be kind of epic, which I got my

1306
01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:44,160
Speaker 1: teng I got that would be kind of amazing. So good, Okay, Okay,

1307
01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:50,160
Speaker 1: we do it, so good? Okay, today party. You could

1308
01:11:50,160 --> 01:11:55,280
Speaker 1: do Cardi? Well, yeah, I'll do I'll do Nikki. Yeah

1309
01:11:55,960 --> 01:12:04,400
Speaker 1: it seems appropriate, detailed, appropriate, Yeah, because like I did Cardi.

1310
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:10,599
Speaker 1: Kimber Ray as she listens to us right now, she's

1311
01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:14,639
Speaker 1: strolling around downtown Dallas in her lunch break. Kensie Claus

1312
01:12:14,760 --> 01:12:17,360
Speaker 1: love the name McKenzie Claus. She's laying by the pool

1313
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:19,640
Speaker 1: of Electing in Kentucky because she's a teacher. She has

1314
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:24,519
Speaker 1: summers off. There's another great name, Aspen van Atten. I

1315
01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:26,400
Speaker 1: like the name as a lot. Aspen is a very

1316
01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:28,720
Speaker 1: pretty name. She's moving to St. George. You ta to

1317
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:32,719
Speaker 1: live with her boyfriend. They've been long distance for four years. Oh,

1318
01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 1: we need to you need to have her on the show.

1319
01:12:34,760 --> 01:12:37,840
Speaker 1: We might want to talk to Aspen. McKenzie Richmond. She's

1320
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:40,120
Speaker 1: sitting in her car stipping coffee in Bakersfield because she

1321
01:12:40,120 --> 01:12:42,519
Speaker 1: gets her a M class an hour early to get

1322
01:12:42,520 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 1: a good parking spot. And then she listens that she's

1323
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:47,800
Speaker 1: scrubbing in before class starts. That's a very Bradsky move

1324
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:52,639
Speaker 1: and Shelby Sprite is getting ready for work in Pendleton, Oregon.

1325
01:12:52,760 --> 01:12:57,400
Speaker 1: Nor Shelby works a rodeo. She does, she works at

1326
01:12:57,400 --> 01:12:59,439
Speaker 1: the rodeo. She's getting ready for work right now. While

1327
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:01,519
Speaker 1: she listens to grubingg in with Becca and I guess

1328
01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:03,080
Speaker 1: you could. You can't say to her, I guess it's

1329
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:05,240
Speaker 1: not your first time at the rodeo. It's not her

1330
01:13:05,280 --> 01:13:10,920
Speaker 1: first literally not right, many many rodeos, because she's they're working, right,

1331
01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:13,400
Speaker 1: I got so it's not her first one, it's her

1332
01:13:13,439 --> 01:13:17,160
Speaker 1: first rodio. Yeah, she's so, she's like well seasoned, she's

1333
01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:20,560
Speaker 1: a season she's been to so many. You get it. Yeah,

1334
01:13:20,520 --> 01:13:27,360
Speaker 1: I'm glad. Alright. Well, on that note, yeah, thank you

1335
01:13:27,439 --> 01:13:29,840
Speaker 1: so much for coming in and sharing your story. That

1336
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:34,720
Speaker 1: was really it was heavy, but it was it was

1337
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:40,400
Speaker 1: very informative and enlightening and encouraging. Yeah, and I think

1338
01:13:40,439 --> 01:13:44,559
Speaker 1: relatable to so many people and helpful. I think I

1339
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:50,080
Speaker 1: was happy to share my story with you. Well. To

1340
01:13:50,240 --> 01:13:55,320
Speaker 1: be continued TBC, it's not my first time at the rodeo.

1341
01:13:55,800 --> 01:13:57,960
Speaker 1: I like how you're adding first time at the rodeo.

1342
01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:00,720
Speaker 1: It's just not my first rodio. But I like your

1343
01:14:00,720 --> 01:14:04,000
Speaker 1: extra added words in there? What is it? It's like,

1344
01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:06,519
Speaker 1: it's not my first rodeo, but you're like, it's not

1345
01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:12,320
Speaker 1: my first time at the rodeo. That's like when somebody

1346
01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:15,400
Speaker 1: says that's what he said last night instead of that's

1347
01:14:15,400 --> 01:14:20,519
Speaker 1: what he said exactly, because then you anyway, okay, you

1348
01:14:20,520 --> 01:14:33,720
Speaker 1: want to eleven seven, Well, then I don't know why

1349
01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:35,880
Speaker 1: I'm clapping, Like why am I clapping? I was like

1350
01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:37,880
Speaker 1: clapping at the end of a plane ride.