1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: Hey, listeners, this is Laura. If you love listening to 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,920 Speaker 1: best of both worlds, you might like gathering with us 3 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 1: in November to set goals for the next year. We'll 4 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: be co hosting Best Lead Plans Live Together this year 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: in Fort Lauderdale from November seventh through ninth, twenty twenty four. 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: Come join us for planning and time management workshops and 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: a lot of fun. Visit the shoebox dot com slash 8 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: b LP live to learn more and to sign up. 9 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: That's t h E s h u box dot com 10 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: slash b LP Live. 11 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 2: We'd love to see you there. 12 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, 13 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: and speaker. 14 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 2: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer, 15 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 2: and course creator. We are two working parents who love 16 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 2: our careers and our families. 17 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about 18 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,759 Speaker 1: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, 19 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. 20 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:15,399 Speaker 1: We want you to get the most out of life. 21 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds, This says Laura. This 22 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 1: episode is airing in early March. Of twenty twenty four, 23 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,559 Speaker 1: Sarah's going to be interviewing Meggie Smith. Doctor Meggie Smith, 24 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: who is a reproductive indocronologist. She works in the fertility industry. 25 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: She will talk about how she went through her own journey, right, Sarmon, 26 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: you can tell us a little bit more about it. 27 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 3: What does she talk about? 28 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, so she talks about kind of two steps of it. 29 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 2: First the choice to freeze her eggs while she was 30 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 2: in her reproductive endocrinology fellowship, and then her choice to 31 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 2: use those eggs. And I won't give away all the details, 32 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 2: but it was a very intentional path, very thought through, 33 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 2: and unlike some going through she was extremely knowledgeable about 34 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 2: all of the nuts and bolts of these procedures as 35 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 2: well as different risks and different chances. 36 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 3: So it was really cool to hear it from her perspective. 37 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, if we sound a little bit different, it's because 38 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: we're sitting in a hotel room together here in Naples, Florida. 39 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: Sarah and I are recording a couple episodes live. We're 40 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: doing the intro in Q and A for this one, 41 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: which she recorded with Meggie at another point. But we're 42 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: enjoying a little time together. But all right, So Sarah, 43 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: given what Meggie did, she froze her eggs and used 44 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 1: them on her own, is this something you would have 45 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: ever considered if you hadn't gotten married, you know, when 46 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:35,399 Speaker 1: you did. 47 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,519 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so, I mean, and similar to her, 48 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 2: I don't know. You know, there's two options, right, you 49 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: could just go straight with a donor, or you could 50 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,679 Speaker 2: do the freezing and then have a donor. I don't 51 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 2: know which I would have picked. I mean, I felt 52 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 2: very strongly pold to start a family by thirty, and 53 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 2: so maybe I wouldn't have done the freezing stuff. It's 54 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 2: kind of hard to know, especially because I finished my fellowship, 55 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 2: you know, my early thirties. There stillould have been lots 56 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 2: of fertility left when I was starting my first quote 57 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 2: unquote real job and had more resources. So I do 58 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 2: think this would have been something I would have considered. 59 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 2: And listeners know, long time listeners know my sister went 60 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 2: down a similar path. My niece is now four. She 61 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 2: is the smartest, cutest little thing. And I mean, that's 62 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 2: just a totally different story and a different path and 63 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 2: a different lifestyle. But now I see two great examples 64 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 2: of how that can work so well, So yeah, I 65 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 2: think I would have done it. 66 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard to know, because I mean, I would 67 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: want to have kids, So I don't know what I 68 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: would have done if I had approached age thirty five 69 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: or whatever and that wasn't looking like it was on 70 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:48,119 Speaker 1: the horizon for me. But yeah, I guess so good 71 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: in life that never had to come to that to 72 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: make that decision, because I think it's very challenging to 73 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 1: raise a child on your own, even if you have 74 00:03:55,760 --> 00:04:00,160 Speaker 1: all the resources in the world, and so undertaking that 75 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: road knowing that, I mean, I know a lot of 76 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: people wind up in that situation, whether they intended to 77 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: or not. But undertaking that on your own, knowing that's 78 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: what you're going into, I think would have been a 79 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: big thing to get my head around. 80 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, So it's kind of really cool to 81 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 2: listen to doctor Meggie Smith's journey, and I think she's 82 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 2: a very strong person, and yeah, let's hear from her all. 83 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: Right, here we go. 84 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 2: Well, I am so excited to welcome to best of 85 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:30,039 Speaker 2: both worlds. Doctor Meggie Smith, a reproductive endocrinologist and infertility 86 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 2: specialist at Nashville Fertility Center. We also have some kind 87 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 2: of long ago connections, and I emailed her by replying 88 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 2: from an email from like twenty twelve. So welcome Meggie. 89 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 3: Thank you. Yes, twenty twelve. I was still a medical 90 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 3: school at that time, which is crazy to think about. 91 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 3: And I guess were you a fellow at that time? 92 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 2: I think I was. Yes, I was a fellow in 93 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 2: twenty twelve, and I would have just had my first baby, 94 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 2: who is now, you know, about to be twelve, so 95 00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 2: that's crazy. 96 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,720 Speaker 3: Yes, thank you so much for having me. I really 97 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 3: appreciate it. 98 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 2: I'm so excited to have you on and to have 99 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 2: this chat and to hear more about your story. So 100 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 2: we also seem to have some like random connections and 101 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,159 Speaker 2: a running connection in common. But we are not going 102 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 2: to talk about running on this podcast. We have received 103 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 2: some feedback that people would prefer that not be the 104 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 2: main focus of it, although I'm always happy to nerd 105 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 2: out on it when we can. Yes, but Meggie, I 106 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 2: guess you can give us a background. You were like 107 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 2: an old school blogger back in the day, and you 108 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 2: still have quite a presence. 109 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 3: Yet, so I guess I can't remember when I started up. 110 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 3: It was when bloggs were popular. Josh like twenty eleven, 111 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 3: twenty twelve, between my third and fourth years of medical school, 112 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,239 Speaker 3: I did a year of research and so I believe 113 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 3: it was during that time because you know, didn't have 114 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 3: as much going on, didn't have as much going on 115 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 3: as you know did before the Actually it was like 116 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 3: a really great way to meet that Plus Twitter at 117 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 3: the time was a really great great way to meet people, 118 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 3: and that's how I ended up meeting Sony and my 119 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 3: friends in New York City at the time, and people 120 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 3: that I'm still friends with now and then also like 121 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 3: people that I maybe not don't talk to on a 122 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 3: regular basis. But it's really interesting to see where people 123 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,600 Speaker 3: have gone in their lives since that time, because very 124 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 3: few of us live in New York City anymore. But 125 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 3: it's interesting to see just kind of where people moved 126 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,920 Speaker 3: to what they did with their lives, you know, children, marriages, 127 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:27,839 Speaker 3: all that kind of stuff. 128 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 2: Awesome, which we are definitely going to talk about when 129 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 2: it comes to you. So, you did a bold thing 130 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 2: a number of years back, and I believe it was 131 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 2: on Instagram if you correct me if I have the 132 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 2: wrong platform, and you shared a story about freezing your eggs. 133 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 2: Can you talk about that? And also kind of where 134 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 2: you were in your career trajectory at the time. 135 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 3: Yes, so I was. So I was very fortunate that 136 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 3: my fellowship would actually let fellows freeze their eggs for 137 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 3: you know, basically very little we have pay for, you know, 138 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 3: medications things like that. But ultimately I was like, Wow, 139 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,320 Speaker 3: why wouldn't I do this? Because egg freezing for most people, honestly, 140 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 3: is mostly a financial decision. And if someone were having 141 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 3: a flash say on egg freezing, and said, hey, you 142 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 3: could do this for five hundred dollars, a lot of 143 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 3: people in their young thirties would certainly do it. So 144 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 3: I think, and I always you know, having done research 145 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 3: and reproductive intochronology and infertility, I just knew that probably 146 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 3: the best time really to freeze your eggs is in 147 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 3: your young thirties if you can. Obviously, not everybody can 148 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 3: or has that you know, wants to make that decision. 149 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 3: But I decided to share it because I feel like 150 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 3: there was a lot of like demystifying of the process. 151 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 3: I think, first of all, people think it takes months, 152 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 3: and it doesn't. And I think also that it really 153 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 3: takes like two to two and a half weeks for 154 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 3: most people, and also that like you're going to be 155 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 3: crazy or hormonal or the shots are terrible, and like 156 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 3: it's not like it's not the worst thing I've ever Like, 157 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 3: it's not that bad, like in my experience. The other thing, too, 158 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 3: is I think physically it's there parts of it it's hard. Emotionally, 159 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 3: there are parts of it that it's hard. I think 160 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 3: really what was most surprising to me at the time 161 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 3: is you kind of have to grieve the loss of 162 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 3: the life you thought you were going to live. Like, 163 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 3: no one comes into my office thinking I'm going to 164 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 3: have to freeze my eggs, I'm going to see a 165 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 3: fertility doctor, any of these things. And so I think 166 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 3: acknowledging and accepting that that, like, no one wants to 167 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 3: have to do this, you know. And I think that 168 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 3: was probably the most surprising hard part about it for me. 169 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 3: But I was just glad I was able to share it, 170 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 3: just to be like, hey, this isn't maybe the no 171 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 3: one really wants to do this, but you can get 172 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 3: through it. It's not so terrible, and yeah, so I 173 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 3: shared it. 174 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 2: I love that, and you shared like the nuts and 175 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 2: fults in all the specifics. Is that still available if 176 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 2: someone wants to like watch that story. 177 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's on highlights. Actually I saved it because I 178 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 3: did two cycles. Actually one when I was a first 179 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 3: year fellow, so I was thirty one and that's actually 180 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 3: the cohort of exit my daughter's from. And then I 181 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: did another cycle and when I was at the end 182 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 3: of my second year, and so I think I saved 183 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 3: more of that on highlights, like mixing the medications, giving 184 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 3: them to myself kind of, yeah, a little bit of everything. 185 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 2: So, and how long does that process take? You mentioned 186 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 2: it's not that bad, but like how many weeks. 187 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 3: From the start of injections to the egg retrieval is 188 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 3: about two to two and a half weeks, then about 189 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 3: a week till you get your next period, depending on 190 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,079 Speaker 3: how you trigger. So it's really not as I think 191 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,720 Speaker 3: people think, it's like a month's long process, and it 192 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 3: really isn't. Obviously there's a lot of lead up to it. 193 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 3: Potentially you go on birth control pills for scheduling purposes 194 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 3: and whatnot. But ultimately, like the time, it says, a 195 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 3: portion of your life is a lot less than people realize. 196 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 2: Very interesting. Well, I applaud your boldness and your your 197 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 2: willingness to share that journey because I agree. I do 198 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,440 Speaker 2: feel like you were one of the first people to 199 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 2: really talk about it, and the fact that it's a 200 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,440 Speaker 2: resource to still look at is amazing. So we're going 201 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 2: to fast forward a little bit. So what year was that? Actually? 202 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,080 Speaker 2: Tell us one more time, like what was the timeframe 203 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 2: that was? 204 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 3: Okay, So that was December twenty seventeen and April twenty 205 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 3: nineteen is when I froze my eggs, okay. 206 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 2: And then take us to your decision process when you 207 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,480 Speaker 2: decided to move forward with things, and I know that's 208 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,839 Speaker 2: it's sensitive and like, yeah, whatever you're willing to share. 209 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 3: Well, I think I always knew I wanted to have kids, 210 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 3: and by virtue of what I do, I have to say, like, 211 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 3: part of my job is being a fertility doctor. Part 212 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 3: of my job is being like a therapist sometimes a 213 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 3: marriage counselor relationship counselor. And so I guess at some 214 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 3: point Number one, fertility is not forever. And even though 215 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 3: I had frozen my eggs, you don't know how they're 216 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 3: going to do right, You don't know. And the other 217 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 3: thing is you know, yes you can carry it. You 218 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 3: know the ASRM recommendation as you can transfer to the 219 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 3: age of fifty four, but like, yeah, I mean I 220 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,679 Speaker 3: don't really want to be fifty years old with a newborn. 221 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 3: So energy is not infinite either. So I wanted to 222 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 3: at least have a child, like kind of within my 223 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 3: same group, you know, friends having children and everything. And 224 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 3: so I think the other thing that at least my 225 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 3: job actually helped me with was realizing that there are 226 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 3: a lot of imperfect relationship Like, there are a lot 227 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 3: of like that marriage isn't necessarily easy. And also I 228 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 3: started getting to the age where a lot of my 229 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,560 Speaker 3: friends got divorced, So I think kind of just seeing that, 230 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 3: a lot of it, I think a lot of it's 231 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:50,679 Speaker 3: like perception, right where what if I had just got 232 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 3: knocked up at some point, you know, like people just 233 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 3: kind of I think it's the perception how you look 234 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 3: at it. And ultimately I was like, I know, I 235 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 3: want children, and at the age at which I was, 236 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 3: so I'm now thirty eight, and I was like thirty 237 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 3: six when I made this decision to do this, thirty 238 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 3: seven when I transferred or just turned thirty seven, I 239 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 3: was like, I'm either going to get a husband or 240 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 3: children at this point in my life. But I probably 241 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 3: won't get both, and probably not in the timeline that 242 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 3: I'm going to want, or at least in that traditional 243 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 3: timeline of like marriage children. So I was sort of like, okay, 244 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 3: well what's more important to me? More important to me 245 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,719 Speaker 3: was having children just because I hate dating. I think 246 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 3: it's really online dating especially, it's just very like hard. 247 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 3: And I was like, well, the return on investment with 248 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 3: this is not great, but I can do this for 249 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 3: myself if this is what I want to do. And 250 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 3: I have patients that like are like, no, I would 251 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 3: never want to have a kid on my own, and 252 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 3: that's fine, but I knew that I even though it's 253 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 3: not going to be I don't think having children ever 254 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 3: is easy. And I also thought about it too when 255 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 3: I was thinking about like childcare and all these other things, 256 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 3: even if I had a husband, I was like, I'm 257 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 3: just still need all this help unless they were a 258 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 3: stay at home dad, you know. So I guess I 259 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 3: was kind of like, really, the only thing that having 260 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 3: a partner with change is a secondary and cub And 261 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,199 Speaker 3: at that point I was like, well, I have a 262 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 3: really good support system where I live. I'm now a 263 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:24,319 Speaker 3: fully fledged attending doctor kind of more settled in my practice, 264 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 3: and yeah, I was like, at some point if you 265 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 3: just if you don't do it, you're never going to 266 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,440 Speaker 3: do it. So I was like, let's just do it. 267 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I have so many questions. We're 268 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 2: going to take a very quick break and be right 269 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 2: back and I want to hear so much more. Okay, 270 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 2: we are back, and I think that all makes so 271 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 2: much sense. I loved your point about you don't know 272 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 2: what you're getting in a marriage anyway. So even though 273 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,840 Speaker 2: some people and you've kind of witnessed this, even in 274 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 2: your practice and couples trying to get pregnant, you've probably 275 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 2: seen some of those couples dissolve and so they're left 276 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 2: in the same place, or perhaps a much more awkward 277 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 2: place compress. 278 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 3: Well, And that's the I mean, that was the other 279 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 3: is like, sometimes, I mean I've seen great relationships, I've 280 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 3: seen relationships where they're not on the same page and 281 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 3: this is really becoming like a crossroads for them. I've 282 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 3: seen people, I mean, I've seen if it can happen, 283 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 3: I've seen it all. You know, I've even seen a 284 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 3: pation who came back to me one time for a 285 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 3: post IVF console, and at the time I thought, unfortunately, 286 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 3: their IVF cycle had gone terribly and you know, we 287 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 3: didn't actually have any embryos to freeze for them. But 288 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 3: as it turned out, when she came back in the interim, 289 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 3: she had learned I guess her husband had lived like 290 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 3: a total double life or something. So ultimately it was 291 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 3: like a good thing. 292 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 2: I was like, well, I. 293 00:14:56,600 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 3: Guess this is a new positive So I think everyone 294 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 3: like I applot people are like like who have in 295 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 3: marriages that have lasted a long time and it's wonderful. 296 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 3: But I just kind of realized that it wasn't. You know, 297 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 3: I have friends that are getting to Like Also, if 298 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 3: I got married just for the sake of getting married 299 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 3: to have children and then you know, got divorced in 300 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 3: ten years, that's not great right for me, Like that, 301 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 3: it's not great to go into a marriage to be 302 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 3: like I just need to get married so I can 303 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 3: have kids, and like this may work out, it may 304 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 3: not work out, Like I really this person needs to 305 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 3: add value to my life if I'm going to bring 306 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,240 Speaker 3: them along at this point, Like I was like, I'm 307 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 3: pretty happy in general by myself, so if they if 308 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,440 Speaker 3: I'm going to add somebody to it. They've got to 309 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 3: bring value to my life. So I think at that point, 310 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 3: I was just like, at some point, like life doesn't always. 311 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 3: I think it's a very different day and age. I always. 312 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 3: My daughter is actually named after the woman the black 313 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 3: teen ager or pretty much that raised my grandmother, and 314 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 3: I think of like her. And she had a couple 315 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 3: of broken engagements, got married, had three kids, soon divorced. 316 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 3: After my mom, you know, graduated high school. She I 317 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 3: don't think she can even have her own credit card. 318 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,840 Speaker 3: I'm not sure she could. I think my uncle had 319 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 3: to like coside out our house, like because she was 320 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 3: a woman, right, And so I just think of all 321 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 3: the advances that had come from that time, and how 322 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 3: lucky I was that I could do this on my 323 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 3: own if I wanted to, Like, I can have my 324 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 3: own credit card, I can buy a house as an 325 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 3: independent woman, you know all of these things. So I 326 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 3: felt like, really, if you kind of flip it, it's 327 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 3: a very positive thing. And as I tell my patients 328 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 3: all the time, a child that's wanted and loved, it 329 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 3: doesn't matter what the family structure might look like or 330 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 3: how that child comes to you. That's all that really matters, 331 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 3: I think at least, so I love that. 332 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 2: I love that. I mean, it sounds very empowered the 333 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 2: way you went about it. Yeah, Also, like I hear 334 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 2: the untethering between like, Okay, I want a partner in 335 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 2: a loving relationship and I want a kid, but like 336 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 2: I don't need those two to like be linked because 337 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,959 Speaker 2: the timing may not work out, and at the end 338 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,879 Speaker 2: of the day, like the timing of the child matters 339 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 2: more than the timing of the relationship, and thus let's go. Yes, 340 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,639 Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's great, and I think it 341 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 2: makes so much rational sense in an area where ration 342 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 2: may not may not govern everyone's actions. 343 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,399 Speaker 3: Correct. I think people are like scared to do it. 344 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,959 Speaker 3: I think that's the biggest fear. And actually what I 345 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 3: did was I told people about a year before I 346 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 3: did it, so in January of twenty two is what 347 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 3: I kind of like floated the idea to my parents, 348 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 3: I floated the idea to friends. And I'll have to say, 349 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 3: because I think you're like worried about what people will say. 350 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 3: Is it thing like like do you know what you're doing? 351 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 3: Kids are so hard, they're so expensive, and so then 352 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 3: they see how supportive people were. I was like, oh, okay, 353 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:04,160 Speaker 3: I will have to say, like I think ultimately people 354 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 3: are are. I like to believe in the good in people, 355 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 3: and they're just very people have been so supportive, so 356 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 3: encouraging about this process and like me doing this on 357 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 3: my own and very like interested too, which has been nice. 358 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 3: And I really haven't had anyone say like, well, do 359 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,399 Speaker 3: you know what you're doing? She's not gonna have a 360 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 3: dad like all this. You know, no one's really said 361 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,199 Speaker 3: anything along those lines to me. And you know, as 362 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 3: I like to say, if you're not excited, you're not invited. 363 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,800 Speaker 3: So if you're not gonna like bring joy or happiness, 364 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,919 Speaker 3: then we're not bringing that energy here. I love it. 365 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's move on to talking about logistics. 366 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 2: And I don't mean logistics of the cycles necessarily, although 367 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,159 Speaker 2: I'm sure yeah, you probably share that as well, especially 368 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 2: because it's your area of personal expert of professional expertise. Yes, yeah, 369 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 2: but like logistics of this, you knew you had to 370 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 2: support network. What are the things you thought about with 371 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 2: respect to childcare, finances, housing, all of those things as 372 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:03,439 Speaker 2: you decided to move forward. 373 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, so housing is interesting. I ended up actually buying 374 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:11,399 Speaker 3: a house in the year before I got pregnant, and 375 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 3: not because of actually having a child, to be honest, 376 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 3: because after living in New York City for so many years, 377 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,160 Speaker 3: I kind of realized, like people do it in these 378 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 3: tiny apartments so like you can, especially as like a 379 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 3: little baby, they don't require as like as much. Obviously, 380 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 3: like it was nice that I bought the house and 381 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,199 Speaker 3: moved into this house and all of this before I 382 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,120 Speaker 3: had a child, but I was not as concerned about 383 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 3: the housing part, just because I had seen what people 384 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 3: in New York City do obviously, like something down the 385 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:42,639 Speaker 3: road to consider was like backyard whatever. Childcare was my 386 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 3: biggest I guess stressor because there are so many ways 387 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 3: you can kind of go about childcare, but it's hard 388 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 3: to find a lot of times it's expensive and that 389 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 3: really I was like I almost need so I ended U. 390 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,880 Speaker 3: I looked into several different things in o pair, looked 391 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,080 Speaker 3: at a full time nanny. My nephews are in daycare, 392 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 3: and so at least having seen them be in daycare 393 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:13,440 Speaker 3: really like it. I felt good about that as well. 394 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 3: But then also they get sick, they're going to have 395 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 3: to come home from daycare, like today, I thought, so really, 396 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 3: actually My mom is the one who brought this up 397 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 3: to me. She's like, that's some article about something called 398 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 3: a family assistant. And what she would say is like, 399 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 3: you really need someone to do stuff for you so 400 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 3: that way, when you come home from work, you're able 401 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 3: to then spend time with your child, and which is 402 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 3: so true. So I ended up in rolling Scout getting 403 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 3: into daycare, which is very fortunate that I got into one, 404 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,360 Speaker 3: because I put myself on waitless before I got pregnant 405 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 3: and only got into one and it's crazy. So then 406 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,119 Speaker 3: and then I hire what's called a family I call 407 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 3: her my family assistant. She works twenty five hours a 408 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 3: week for me, and what she serves to do is 409 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 3: she comes during the bulk of the day where she'll 410 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 3: do stuff around my house, you know, take my dogs out, laundry, 411 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 3: all these little things like yesterday she picked up pictures 412 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 3: that my daughter her three lenthal pictures, and or like 413 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 3: go buy the birthday present, whatever it is. So but 414 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,560 Speaker 3: if Scout gets sick, like if I were at work today, 415 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 3: she could go pick her up and bring her back 416 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 3: to my house. And I'm very fortunate that I raged 417 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,399 Speaker 3: my schedule that my assistant ends at three but she 418 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,919 Speaker 3: could always go overtime or whatever. But when I end patience, 419 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 3: I could hopefully be home pretty quickly after. I would 420 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,119 Speaker 3: still have a document, probably call people and whatnot, but 421 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 3: I could do that either another day or later. My 422 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 3: biggest strussuer was figuring out the childcare piece and how 423 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 3: expensive it was going to be, and figuring out like 424 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 3: really what I could afford, and then just kind of 425 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,520 Speaker 3: like getting this lined up, how do I go about 426 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 3: finding this family assistant? Ultimately I used an agency, so 427 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 3: all of this was very is not cheap, is what 428 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 3: I will say, but I feel ultimately it worked out 429 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 3: well for me. I feel very fortunate to found good people. 430 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 3: And then even when you have all this lined up, 431 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,360 Speaker 3: you're still going to have that chaotic day or there's 432 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 3: a snowstorm, but no one could get anywhere where you're 433 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 3: just like I'm doing tellealth at home seeing patients with 434 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 3: my daughter in this swing, watching this Rachel and we're 435 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 3: just gonna have to live with it. 436 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 2: Yes, like sometimes there's just no perfect backup. I'm curious 437 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:31,159 Speaker 2: because one thing we've told people on this podcast is 438 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,200 Speaker 2: that it can be very difficult to find someone excited 439 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 2: to do part time work whereas you have found it 440 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 2: sounds like that unicorn and any special recruitment or I 441 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,200 Speaker 2: don't know what would you say if someone was having 442 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 2: trouble finding that. 443 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I worked with an agency and at first 444 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 3: I was going to hire this person for like forty 445 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 3: hours a week, but then realized a couple of things. 446 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,200 Speaker 3: Just logistically, I don't really have forty hours a week 447 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 3: of work for someone around my house. Like I'm sure 448 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 3: I could find thanks for them to do, but like 449 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 3: that's a lot to do. Then the other thing, too, 450 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 3: is at some point, if you exceed a certain number 451 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 3: of hours that you have this person employed, you're gonna 452 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,639 Speaker 3: have to pay taxes and what I like, it's a W 453 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 3: two employee, which is hard. But ultimately when I advertise 454 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 3: for it is like twenty to twenty five hours a week. 455 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 3: I said my hours were flexible because they're going to 456 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,959 Speaker 3: need a second job, right, And so it ended up 457 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,440 Speaker 3: working out great that the person who works for me, 458 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,119 Speaker 3: she actually does pick up and drop off for another 459 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 3: family so nearby, So she does like the morning pick 460 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 3: and dropping off at school, comes to me and then 461 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 3: leaves me and goes and picks up at school and 462 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,400 Speaker 3: brings back home and whatnot. So that kind of worked 463 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,159 Speaker 3: out well. And when I advertise, I also said, I'm 464 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,640 Speaker 3: very flexible on what hours this is with ther during 465 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 3: the day, so that way, at least should they need 466 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,919 Speaker 3: something else to do something else, which they will for 467 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,199 Speaker 3: the most part, that I could say, Okay, well this 468 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 3: is where I can flex it to be nine to 469 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 3: two or tend to three or whatever it was. Yeah, 470 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,359 Speaker 3: so that makes sense. 471 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, offering that flexibility I think is unique and 472 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 2: my change as your kids get older, because I'm picturing like, okay, 473 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 2: and then when they have to go to dance class, 474 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 2: you may not have that flexibility. But this is a 475 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 2: reminder that like we don't have to plan that many 476 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 2: years in advance, like figure out what works now. 477 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,120 Speaker 3: Yes, Like I was like, my assistant is like said, 478 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 3: we signed a contract for a year, and I told her, like, 479 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,919 Speaker 3: I would love for you to stay long term, obviously, 480 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 3: but I said, my needs will probably change as she 481 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 3: gets older. Right now, she's in daycare and that covers 482 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,719 Speaker 3: us of the workday, so she's kind of back up. 483 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 3: But as Scout gets older, you know, yeah, they'll be 484 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,440 Speaker 3: after school activities or all these things that then I'm 485 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 3: going to have to probably, you know, would have to 486 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 3: shift her, and that might look differently, but we can 487 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,199 Speaker 3: cross that bridge. We get there right now, she's not 488 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,280 Speaker 3: going to dance class. She can't sit up. 489 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 2: So yeah, I think that makes total sense. Yes, like 490 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 2: you're dealing with this and you'll keep your mind open. 491 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 2: But now that sounds awesome and actually not a solution 492 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 2: we've really talked about before. So I'm excited because we've 493 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 2: talked about a lot of different iterations. But having a 494 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,880 Speaker 2: part time wait what did you call it again? Home, 495 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:12,119 Speaker 2: I call our family family assistant a part time family assistant. 496 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,680 Speaker 2: It seems like it makes total sense in combination with daycare. 497 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 3: It's actually the best thing I've ever done because when 498 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,160 Speaker 3: I come home after work, I pick Scout up at daycare, 499 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 3: I come home, my house is clean, the counters are 500 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 3: wiped down, which is always like a wonderful thing to me. 501 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 3: The dishwasher's empty, the bottles are prepped for daycare the 502 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,600 Speaker 3: next day at least, like I'm not coming home to 503 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 3: complete chaos, and so that to me seems really nice. 504 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 3: And yeah, it just everything takes time, and you know 505 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:46,359 Speaker 3: time is your most important I guess resource and so yes, 506 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 3: could I go on my day off to go get 507 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 3: the birthday present for a birthday party? Yes, but maybe 508 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 3: I want to do something else with my you know 509 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,200 Speaker 3: what I mean, like if I can, you know, it's fine, 510 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 3: but like someone to go for me to drive, to 511 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 3: go fifteen minutes to the place to get it, you know, 512 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,720 Speaker 3: all of that. Just the more I can have someone 513 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 3: help me do stuff to then ultimately spend more time 514 00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 3: with my daughter or do something for myself like run 515 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,160 Speaker 3: or something, it's great. 516 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 2: Yes, just enjoy your life more, which you fully deserve 517 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,400 Speaker 2: and have worked really hard for. 518 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 3: Yes. 519 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 2: Tell me about going back to work. How did that go? 520 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 2: That reentry? 521 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,679 Speaker 3: Oh my god? So going back to work. So I 522 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 3: had a night nurse a good bit, which was great 523 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 3: because that was really what saved me probably the first 524 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,679 Speaker 3: two really the first two months almost three months of 525 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 3: her life. And so at some point financially, I was like, well, 526 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 3: I either go back to work or I give up 527 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,159 Speaker 3: the night nurse. And I was like, I want the 528 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:48,119 Speaker 3: night nurse. So because that just being able to sleep 529 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:52,720 Speaker 3: really was helpful. So going back, I think it was 530 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 3: hard because your brain, my brain just didn't function as 531 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,920 Speaker 3: fast anymore. And I used to see like eleven to 532 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 3: thirteen patients a day, and I was like, I'm gonna 533 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 3: see three a day, and that seemed like a lot. 534 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 3: The very first week, I was like, oh my gosh, 535 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 3: how did I use to do this like so much faster? 536 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,919 Speaker 3: So I think it took a couple of weeks to 537 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,640 Speaker 3: just like be And also then you're also figuring out 538 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 3: all the logistics of your new life daycare. You know, 539 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,359 Speaker 3: get what time she wakes up, feeding her daycare drop off, 540 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 3: then coming all of this stuff, and so it ended 541 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 3: up I would say by the time so I went 542 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,359 Speaker 3: back right before Thanksgiving, kind of by the time we 543 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,640 Speaker 3: got to the new year, and now I feel much 544 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 3: more in a routine. I'm kind of back up to 545 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,679 Speaker 3: my normal volume. So I thought, I really it was 546 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,199 Speaker 3: just giving myself time to kind of start slow and 547 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 3: ran it back up to my usual volume with that, 548 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 3: because it just takes you longer to get I was like, 549 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 3: and then figure out when you're gonna pump if you're 550 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,600 Speaker 3: doing that, you know, all of that, just all these 551 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 3: new logistics. And I just told my staff when I 552 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 3: was like making my templates for patients scheduling, said each 553 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 3: month just come back and revisit with me before we schedule. 554 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 3: Open it for the new month. Is open because this 555 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 3: is going to continue to evolve. So like, for instance, 556 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 3: I used to start at eight, Now I started eight 557 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,680 Speaker 3: thirty because I get to the office still at eight. 558 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 3: But I pumped first and then see my patience and 559 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 3: I don't actually need a break into lunch into it's 560 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,879 Speaker 3: a pump. So I'm like it just like everything, I 561 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 3: was like, just keep coming back to me because this 562 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,680 Speaker 3: is going to keep evolving. But yeah, really the brain 563 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,200 Speaker 3: not functioning quiet, I've been ire be like how did 564 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,160 Speaker 3: I type notes this fast? How did I do these? 565 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,240 Speaker 3: You know, all of that was hard. 566 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,919 Speaker 2: And that's awesome that you're at a place that allowed 567 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 2: you to do that ramp up because unfortunately, I'm not 568 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 2: sure that that's in a co netword medicine phenomenon. 569 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I mean I'm in a private practice which 570 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 3: we own, like where it's physician owned. So yes, we 571 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 3: can have that, which is really nice. That's very much 572 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 3: a luxury. I remember thinking as I got to twelve weeks, 573 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 3: I went back after nine weeks, twelve weeks, I would 574 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 3: have felt pretty good. I think getting would have felt 575 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,719 Speaker 3: like moly, Like, okay, going back, I think sixteen weeks 576 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 3: because at that point she was starting to sleep more 577 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 3: through the night. So I think, like, really, if if 578 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,280 Speaker 3: I were having to go back up full volume, I 579 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,600 Speaker 3: would have needed like sixteen weeks minimum. Really wish you'd 580 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 3: get more maternity leaf. But that's another conversation. 581 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 2: Yes, that could be another edition of the podcast. I'm 582 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 2: with you, Yes, yes, awesome. What would you say? Has 583 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,720 Speaker 2: been the most fun part of this journey so far 584 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 2: and the most challenging part. Let's get both flip sides. 585 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,000 Speaker 2: You can start with whichever you prefer. 586 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,640 Speaker 3: I think the most fun part has been seeing how 587 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,440 Speaker 3: excited my friends are actually for like friends and family, 588 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 3: that is, just seeing how excited everyone was and how 589 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:46,080 Speaker 3: everyone was really interested in wanting to take part. So like, actually, 590 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 3: two of my best childhood friends came to my induction. 591 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:51,479 Speaker 3: They were like, can we come? And I was like, 592 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 3: you do know, an induction takes a really long time, 593 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 3: Like I'm thinking of this with the perspective of a 594 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 3: former OGUIN resident, and I'm like, you want to sit 595 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 3: on labor and delivery all day because I'm just knowing 596 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 3: how long an induction takes and my duction started at 597 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 3: night and they didn't come to the next day and 598 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 3: I ended up having a C section, but they wanted 599 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,280 Speaker 3: to be and I was like, wow, that's so nice, 600 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 3: Like sure, Actually it was quite fun because after having 601 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 3: up a dural, I just sat there and we talked 602 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,720 Speaker 3: all day until I ended up having a C section. 603 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 3: So I think that has been the most like exciting 604 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 3: part and just everyone's overall excitement for me. Then, I 605 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 3: think the hardest part for me has been figuring out 606 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 3: like I have the work days figured out, but the 607 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,280 Speaker 3: non work days then being because I like always knew 608 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 3: I would need help on work days, but then not 609 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 3: having help on the non work days, I'm like, oh, 610 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,240 Speaker 3: I actually need to probably schedule some sort of babysitter 611 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,880 Speaker 3: or something so I can go on a run or 612 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 3: go to the office if I need to or whatever. 613 00:30:56,080 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 3: It is like acknowledging that just like if I don't 614 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 3: schedule it, essentially it's not going to happen. So if 615 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 3: I don't schedule and plan for my time to run 616 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 3: with either childcare or whatever it is, because naps are 617 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,600 Speaker 3: not quite solid enough yet to really know that's going 618 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 3: to work out, then it's not gonna happen. So I 619 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,800 Speaker 3: think that's been the biggest challenge, is like coming to terms. 620 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,800 Speaker 3: I knew I was always gonna need help, but I thought, 621 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 3: oh am I not workdays, I'll be fine. Then acknowledging like, 622 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,760 Speaker 3: oh no, you're gonna need help on the non work 623 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 3: days too. I will say the very beginning too, it 624 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,880 Speaker 3: was because you're changing all the diapers, right, I was like, 625 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 3: we really know if someone else can change a diaper. 626 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 3: But then I did think to myself, well, it would 627 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 3: be nice to have someone else to change diapers, but 628 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 3: it would also be worse if I had someone that 629 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 3: I was like, can you change the diaper? And I 630 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,479 Speaker 3: resent fulter to them having it, you know. So I 631 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,240 Speaker 3: was like, it may sound nice to say I have 632 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,239 Speaker 3: someone else to change a diaper, but you just don't know, 633 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,640 Speaker 3: you know again, how that might play out totally. 634 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 2: There could be complicated part that you are not having 635 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 2: to deal with, which can be a positive. That is 636 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 2: an awesome way to look at it, and I applaud 637 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,239 Speaker 2: your thought about getting some help on the weekends. I mean, 638 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 2: on this podcast we talk about either hiring that out 639 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 2: or figuring out some kind of swap with a co parent, 640 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 2: but since there is no co parent, then your answer 641 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 2: is to either a family member or a babysitter, and 642 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 2: either way your baby will be in loving hands and 643 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 2: you need a break. You're gonna need a break. 644 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,320 Speaker 3: So it's I mean, yeah, I mean I was like 645 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,160 Speaker 3: people that, like I remember as well, like which she 646 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 3: was really I was like, gosh, you really can't stay 647 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 3: home with it. I mean you can, but it's you'll go. 648 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 3: It's MinC numbing because also you're just living in this 649 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,640 Speaker 3: coustant three hour cycle of like eat, awake, sleep, and 650 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,560 Speaker 3: like all this stuff, and especially when they're like right now, 651 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,040 Speaker 3: she's still not quite the point where the naps are 652 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 3: very I know exactly what it's going to happen, how 653 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 3: long it's going to be, so on and so forth. 654 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,320 Speaker 3: And the other thing too that I found really hard 655 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 3: postpartum was like my life was so varied in terms 656 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,959 Speaker 3: of work, house renovation, redecorating, pregnancy, my friends, all this stuff, 657 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 3: and now it went to just this one thing where 658 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 3: it was like what's she going to eat? How much 659 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 3: did she eat? Did she you know, did we you know? 660 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:12,920 Speaker 3: All this other stuff, and I think it was just like, 661 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, now my entire being is consumed with 662 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,239 Speaker 3: this one thing, and especially the newborn sleep part of it. 663 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 3: That to me was really hard. I knew, I didn't 664 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:25,040 Speaker 3: know that newborns were such loud sleepers, and that like 665 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,520 Speaker 3: and the other thing too, is all I felt like. 666 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:31,120 Speaker 3: The sleep part just continued to evolve, like for a 667 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 3: while she could like lay on her back because she 668 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 3: had reflug. All of that was like, just you go crazy. 669 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 2: It's a lot. It's a lot, and it's a lot 670 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 2: to deal with with someone and probably even harder. I 671 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 2: hope you have a big tribe of like online or 672 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 2: real friends, like in real life friends, because yeah, the 673 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 2: number of hours I spent googling some sort of looking 674 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 2: for the internet like it was going to have some 675 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 2: magical sleep solution on there. Yes, like it's not on there, 676 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 2: Like I. 677 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,920 Speaker 3: Bought every book, asked everyone, did your child sound leaving? 678 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,000 Speaker 3: How do you do this sleep training? When can you 679 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 3: do that? And actually my daughter's kind of on the 680 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,960 Speaker 3: small side. She's eleven pounds sent five months, so she's 681 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,400 Speaker 3: kind of a petit thing. So you know, a function 682 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 3: of it is of weight, like and when they can. 683 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 3: But I think ultimately, like I remember I was really 684 00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,439 Speaker 3: like like could she have acid reflex medicine or whatever. 685 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,560 Speaker 3: My pediatrition was like, I just don't think she needs 686 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,880 Speaker 3: it like you can. But then she went through all 687 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 3: this stuff. Me, I was like, all right, you're right, 688 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,360 Speaker 3: but she was like, ultimately, it just takes time. She's like, 689 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,640 Speaker 3: they just have to get bigger. And then and she 690 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 3: was right, you know, I was like, you were right. 691 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 3: And then I just remember my two month appointment also 692 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,920 Speaker 3: asking her when am I going to have a bed 693 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 3: tech again? And she was like probably around three months, 694 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:44,920 Speaker 3: and she was right about the you know, now she 695 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,680 Speaker 3: pretty much consistently goes about a round seven and I'm like, okay, 696 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:51,040 Speaker 3: so it's very helpful to know, Okay, it's seven o'clock, 697 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 3: she's going to be in the bed and bed for 698 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 3: the night. She'll probably wake up somewhere between, you know, 699 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,960 Speaker 3: it's like five fifteen to six fifteen. And that to 700 00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,600 Speaker 3: me is like, okay, at Lisa, I know that I 701 00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 3: may not no naps yet, but yeah, ultimately, like I 702 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,399 Speaker 3: was like, time them getting bigger and just the only 703 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 3: cause that has changed right now essentially. 704 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 2: Totally, Oh my gosh, I'm having so many flashbacks. So 705 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,480 Speaker 2: before we close, I wanted to have you. Well two things. 706 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,239 Speaker 2: I hope she has to run back to daycare by 707 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 2: the way, everyone like she literally got called that her 708 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,759 Speaker 2: baby is a little sick and she has to head in. 709 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,719 Speaker 2: So this is very reality. But any advice you would 710 00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,960 Speaker 2: give to someone contemplating a similar journey. 711 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,719 Speaker 3: I think, and this is what I tell my pages too. 712 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,879 Speaker 3: You have to decide, like not to side, but think 713 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,120 Speaker 3: about what do you want for your life. Not what 714 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,200 Speaker 3: you think society was for your life, or what you 715 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,440 Speaker 3: think is quote right, but what do you want for 716 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 3: your life? And there's some people will say, my life 717 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 3: will not be complete without having biologically related children or 718 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,200 Speaker 3: a child in some way however it comes to you, 719 00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 3: whether it's through eg donation, every adoption, but if that's 720 00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,719 Speaker 3: something that's important to you. I think there's a lot 721 00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,120 Speaker 3: of things with you know, being in twenty twenty four, 722 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 3: social media, all these things, but one good thing about 723 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,800 Speaker 3: it is that and I don't want to say alternative lifestyle, 724 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,200 Speaker 3: but just like I feel like now it's great that 725 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:17,040 Speaker 3: like this whole people live a variety of different lives 726 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,480 Speaker 3: or ways of living. Like it's not just like the 727 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,120 Speaker 3: nuclear family of mom and dad. Two kids and all 728 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 3: of that, Like there's so many different types of families, 729 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,920 Speaker 3: and overall, I think people are very accepting of that 730 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:34,200 Speaker 3: and want to help. Actually, on my street, which is crazy, 731 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,440 Speaker 3: two houses down is another single mom by choice that 732 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,400 Speaker 3: she just and she's probably her son's like ten, so 733 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,359 Speaker 3: she's like older, you know, like this is a very 734 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,719 Speaker 3: different stage of life. So I think their thing is 735 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,279 Speaker 3: like I think a lot of people think it's going 736 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 3: to be easier if I have a partner, and I'm 737 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 3: sure there are parts of it that's easier, but I 738 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 3: think having children is hard in general, like just hard 739 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,800 Speaker 3: religious like it's good and it's hard, and so I 740 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 3: think just not letting the hard things scare you, because ultimately, 741 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 3: what I found, like through residency, fellowship, all these things, 742 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,920 Speaker 3: you figure out a way to rise to the occasion, 743 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 3: like you just figure it out. So that and then 744 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,279 Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't I think, don't be like 745 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,040 Speaker 3: afraid of public perception because that was one of my fears, 746 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 3: was like the fear of public perception, and no one 747 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,560 Speaker 3: cared really, which was good. So yeah, I think ultimately 748 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,759 Speaker 3: like just going if it's something you want, Like I 749 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,920 Speaker 3: think my saddest patients too. I have a lot of 750 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,480 Speaker 3: sad patients obviously, but I think some of my saddest 751 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 3: people that come in are like people who are like 752 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,279 Speaker 3: thirty eight, thirty nine, forty and they want to freeze 753 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,360 Speaker 3: their eggs because they haven't found the right person, but 754 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,440 Speaker 3: they want to have kids. And then I'm giving them 755 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,200 Speaker 3: the reality statistics of like what this looks like, and 756 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,239 Speaker 3: they realize that, like with egg freezing, their chances while 757 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:50,160 Speaker 3: they're not zero, they aren't as good as they thought 758 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 3: they were, and they're kind of just they're in a 759 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,960 Speaker 3: huge stage of grief. And so yeah, so I think 760 00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:00,920 Speaker 3: ultimately like deciding knowing that for is it forever and 761 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 3: if family is important to you, like you can make 762 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:03,560 Speaker 3: it happen. 763 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 2: I love it. Well with that, do you have. 764 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 3: To have one final point to Yeah, I have. I 765 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 3: also tell patients or some of friends of mine as well. 766 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 3: It's like, I think people think you have to be 767 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,840 Speaker 3: you must be a parent to have an impact on 768 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,640 Speaker 3: a child's life, and I tell people like I'd also 769 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,239 Speaker 3: come to terms with if I didn't have children, I 770 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,520 Speaker 3: have nephews, I could be a really great aunt and 771 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,360 Speaker 3: I could be really impactful in the lives of my 772 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,480 Speaker 3: nephews even without being their biologic parent. And so I 773 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,080 Speaker 3: think there are so many ways to be involved in 774 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,840 Speaker 3: a child's life outside of biologic parenthood. And not to 775 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,320 Speaker 3: discount that. So, oh, that's beautiful. 776 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,080 Speaker 2: Would you have a love of the week to share 777 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:41,840 Speaker 2: with our audience? 778 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,799 Speaker 3: So I have a couple of things that So outsourcing 779 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,440 Speaker 3: is my number one. Is my like outsourcing once it 780 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,960 Speaker 3: became an attend Yeah, outsourcing is where I was like 781 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,880 Speaker 3: once it became an attending and even just very recently, 782 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, you know what, Like one of my older 783 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,040 Speaker 3: partners in my practice said this to me. He's like, Meggie, 784 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,920 Speaker 3: there are certain things that only you can do as 785 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:05,359 Speaker 3: a reproductive This is with prospective work. He's like, and 786 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,440 Speaker 3: there are certain things that someone else in your practice 787 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,400 Speaker 3: can do for you, like colleing patients about their normal CBC. 788 00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,279 Speaker 3: He was like, you don't need to do that. He's like, 789 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,239 Speaker 3: that's nice that you want to do that, but you 790 00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:17,879 Speaker 3: can only do certain things. So and I think that's 791 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,680 Speaker 3: I look at like my life as well. There are 792 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 3: only certain things I can do, but there are certain 793 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:26,200 Speaker 3: things I can outsource. So I like that, and I 794 00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,520 Speaker 3: think and to that end as well, like just making 795 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,560 Speaker 3: that like outsourcing slash, finding that time to do whatever 796 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 3: it is you need for you, whether it's two to 797 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,560 Speaker 3: three hours, that's like like embracing help. Even if you think, 798 00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 3: like in my mind, I'm like, am I getting too 799 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,719 Speaker 3: much help? I'm I'm spending too much enough time with her? 800 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,359 Speaker 3: And it's like, no, you spend a lot of time 801 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,240 Speaker 3: with her. It's fine. Like if you need a babysit 802 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,400 Speaker 3: for three hours, you can run, shower, do whatever. Like 803 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,359 Speaker 3: there's three hours, Like she might be napping for part 804 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:54,960 Speaker 3: of that. It's fine. She won't know the difference. 805 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,520 Speaker 2: She will not know the difference. I guarantee it. Even 806 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:03,160 Speaker 2: if those four hours, thank you exact that window if 807 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,439 Speaker 2: you if you decide to train for a marathon, which 808 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,480 Speaker 2: we're not going to talk about on this podcast, but 809 00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,279 Speaker 2: I love it. Those are awesome. So outsourcing, did you 810 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,800 Speaker 2: say you had more? Or is it just all the 811 00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:13,719 Speaker 2: types of outsourcing? Is there love of the one? All 812 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:15,600 Speaker 2: the types of outsourcing? I was trying to give anything else. 813 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:19,319 Speaker 3: I love this week. Oh I still really love like 814 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:23,440 Speaker 3: paper planning, like and you'll be I know you'll like yeakay, 815 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:28,360 Speaker 3: So that to be I really enjoy. So I have 816 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,720 Speaker 3: this family pad thing that I have from Sugar Paper 817 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,640 Speaker 3: La and that is one of my best purchases of 818 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,560 Speaker 3: twenty twenty four. And that's how my assistant I communicate 819 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,440 Speaker 3: and everything it has by day and I can make 820 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:44,080 Speaker 3: all these check marks and boxes and all the to 821 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,600 Speaker 3: do lists all this stuff. But yeah, I think that 822 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,719 Speaker 3: is like on my love list for sure of Like 823 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:53,080 Speaker 3: I have multiple paper planning things, but that like week 824 00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,880 Speaker 3: to week family planning pad is one of my loves 825 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:57,520 Speaker 3: of the week. 826 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,279 Speaker 2: If you send me the exact link, I will it 827 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,680 Speaker 2: in the show notes. All of the week this week 828 00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,560 Speaker 2: is wide let is wide leg pants because I'm just 829 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,520 Speaker 2: embracing the like new silhouette I feel cool and my 830 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 2: wild life pants, Like I don't know why it took 831 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,680 Speaker 2: me so long, but I feel like I'm into it. 832 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,400 Speaker 2: So yeah, that's my love of the week. Great, I 833 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,160 Speaker 2: love it. Thank you so much for coming on. This 834 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,080 Speaker 2: was so much fun. We have to talk more yes 835 00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,400 Speaker 2: offline of the podcast, and maybe if we ever do 836 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,799 Speaker 2: like another like IVF theme show or some kind of 837 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,000 Speaker 2: like repro endo show, we would love to have you 838 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,920 Speaker 2: back to talk more about like those medical specifics you 839 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 2: would not be the first obgi N to appear on 840 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,560 Speaker 2: our podcast, and we've had some ENDO chronologists as well. 841 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:43,040 Speaker 2: But you know, these are very salient topics for our listeners, 842 00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:44,280 Speaker 2: So thank you again. 843 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:45,440 Speaker 3: Thank you. 844 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,759 Speaker 2: Oh and where can they find you? Where can they 845 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,480 Speaker 2: find you? Sorry? Last question? 846 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:54,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I probably changed my handle. It's MBS. Thanks. I 847 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:56,480 Speaker 3: used to have a website somehow got like hacked by 848 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,360 Speaker 3: some sort of Russian things. So I'll have to re 849 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,880 Speaker 3: figure that out. That happened right I was delivering and 850 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,160 Speaker 3: I was like, I don't have the brain space for 851 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:07,000 Speaker 3: this right now. So there. And then also my practice 852 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,400 Speaker 3: is Natural Fertility Center and that's where I see patients. 853 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,680 Speaker 2: Awesome, Well, thank you so much for coming on. 854 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:14,759 Speaker 3: Well we were back. 855 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:18,680 Speaker 1: Sarah was interviewing doctor Meggie Smith about various aspects of 856 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,680 Speaker 1: fertility and her own fertility journey raising a child on 857 00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:27,360 Speaker 1: her own. So coming to another related question with pregnancy 858 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,760 Speaker 1: and things like this, Sarah, you want to read this one? 859 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:31,040 Speaker 3: Sure? Okay? 860 00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,800 Speaker 2: So this is yes, very much on theme for the episode, 861 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,040 Speaker 2: and it comes from a listener who says she is 862 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:39,000 Speaker 2: thirty and the podcast serves as a big sister or 863 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:40,680 Speaker 2: mentor of sorts. So I just wanted to share that 864 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,280 Speaker 2: part because it made me really really happy, super cool. 865 00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:46,799 Speaker 2: I love having listeners actually in every part of the 866 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,040 Speaker 2: kind of age and career journey spectrum, because we have 867 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,120 Speaker 2: others who have kids out of the house. All Right, 868 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:53,360 Speaker 2: I'll get to the question, but I just thought that 869 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,080 Speaker 2: was super sweet. Okay, So she writes, I am recently pregnant, 870 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,960 Speaker 2: but really struggling with first trimester nausea and fatigue, especially 871 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,200 Speaker 2: when it comes to work stamina. I work full time 872 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,120 Speaker 2: and I have a clinical type rule in hospital. I'm 873 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,080 Speaker 2: eight weeks in and I don't know how to navigate 874 00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,400 Speaker 2: addressing these symptoms, especially at work since I haven't told anyone, 875 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,680 Speaker 2: and I'm extremely active and struggling with how these symptoms 876 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:18,360 Speaker 2: impact my energy and motivation to do my usual physical 877 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,200 Speaker 2: activities like running and strength training. So do you and 878 00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:24,839 Speaker 2: Laura have tips or old post etsc For navigating this 879 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,719 Speaker 2: difficult period in the first trimester when it's really symptomatic 880 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 2: but maybe not out in the open. 881 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, just thoughts go out to you, because 882 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:39,240 Speaker 1: the first trimester is often terrible, and this is something 883 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:42,000 Speaker 1: that I think it comes as a psychological shock to 884 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,200 Speaker 1: a lot of folks, because I mean, a we don't 885 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,360 Speaker 1: know that many people who are in their first trimesters, 886 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:49,640 Speaker 1: because a lot of people do keep it secret for 887 00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,360 Speaker 1: various reasons, which makes sense. I mean, I've miscarried in 888 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,359 Speaker 1: the past, and so I understand why you don't want 889 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,680 Speaker 1: to tell people and then have to tell them again. 890 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,120 Speaker 1: But it does, in fact feel terrible. And you've gone 891 00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:04,960 Speaker 1: from being this healthy, active woman doing everything and then 892 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you know, a couple weeks later, 893 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,680 Speaker 1: you are on your back, unable to move like half 894 00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:11,040 Speaker 1: the time. 895 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,320 Speaker 3: You're so tired, you're. 896 00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:16,040 Speaker 1: Nauseous, you feel awful, and I think people are just like, WHOA, like, 897 00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,759 Speaker 1: how did this happen? Is this you know eternal? Am 898 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 1: I now like screwed for life? And the truth is no, generally, 899 00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:28,759 Speaker 1: not for the majority of people, the symptoms are going 900 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:32,920 Speaker 1: to get quite a bit better by about thirteen fourteen weeks, 901 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,839 Speaker 1: so you can hold out hope for then maybe you'll 902 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:39,440 Speaker 1: make yourself a little calendar, like an advent calendar of 903 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,600 Speaker 1: when my symptoms will get better. Are there's some percentage 904 00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:44,160 Speaker 1: of people who don't, but obviously, if you're suffering from 905 00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:47,000 Speaker 1: severe nausea or something like that, you can probably get 906 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:50,879 Speaker 1: some medical treatment for that too, So consider that. As 907 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,640 Speaker 1: for your responsibilities, I mean, really just take it down 908 00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:57,080 Speaker 1: to the stuff you absolutely have to do. You can 909 00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:01,680 Speaker 1: cancel things like you can strategically take sick days if 910 00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:04,319 Speaker 1: you need to. I mean, this is the time you 911 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:08,120 Speaker 1: call it in and go from there. 912 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, if you are flat out feeling miserable, 913 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,799 Speaker 2: I guarantee you it's not in your head. If you're 914 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,600 Speaker 2: in your first trimester, like you probably really do feel 915 00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 2: terrible if you're having all those symptoms. So please be 916 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:23,320 Speaker 2: easy on yourself because you're probably a very hard worker. 917 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,080 Speaker 2: It sounds like you are from what you've written, and 918 00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,360 Speaker 2: so this is a perfect time to just coast a 919 00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,480 Speaker 2: little to the essential. And I will address the exercise 920 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,520 Speaker 2: portion of this as well to tell you that it 921 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,839 Speaker 2: is totally okay to kind of go off and on 922 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:38,840 Speaker 2: with exercise during pregnancy. There were definitely periods where I 923 00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,640 Speaker 2: did much, much, much less, or really even maybe stop 924 00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:43,919 Speaker 2: for a week or two just because I didn't feel 925 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,560 Speaker 2: it and then was able to pick it back up. 926 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:49,040 Speaker 2: And really the intensity that you exercise during a pregnancy, 927 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,000 Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. I mean, in retrospect, like I'm sure 928 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:53,960 Speaker 2: I sort of cared about it at the time, like, oh, 929 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,160 Speaker 2: I'm still running, But like if I had been inclined 930 00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,319 Speaker 2: walking or like moving really slowly on a bike, or like, 931 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,480 Speaker 2: you know whatever, or it probably wouldn't have made a 932 00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,680 Speaker 2: big difference. I mean, as long as you're doing something, 933 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,880 Speaker 2: what you feel up to is probably what you should 934 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:08,160 Speaker 2: be doing. 935 00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:09,239 Speaker 3: Because honestly, these. 936 00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,719 Speaker 2: Are probably your body signals telling you that it wants 937 00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,360 Speaker 2: to take it a little bit easy right now. So 938 00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,719 Speaker 2: I would honor that and don't assume it doesn't mean 939 00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 2: you won't be able to buy those a lot of negatives, 940 00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,680 Speaker 2: but pick it back up when the second and third 941 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:21,279 Speaker 2: try come along. 942 00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:25,239 Speaker 1: Yeah. I would also say that you do have the 943 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,160 Speaker 1: choice to tell some people if you think that would 944 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,319 Speaker 1: be helpful in your situation, if you think people would 945 00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:35,319 Speaker 1: be more understanding, and you're okay with the idea that 946 00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:38,799 Speaker 1: if something went wrong you could go back and tell 947 00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,799 Speaker 1: them again. But if you think it would buy you 948 00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,520 Speaker 1: some more understanding, then it might not be a horrible 949 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:48,920 Speaker 1: idea to tell a few trusted folks about it. And 950 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,239 Speaker 1: I would say, I mean, from my personal experience, if 951 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 1: you are really, really sick, it may mean that it's 952 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:59,479 Speaker 1: really really taken. So I'm not saying things won't go wrong, 953 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:02,440 Speaker 1: but I mean and hopefully not. But that's often a 954 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:06,399 Speaker 1: sign that you're well on your way. So anyway, we're 955 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:10,200 Speaker 1: really cheering for you, hoping that everything goes well, and yeah, 956 00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,080 Speaker 1: that you'll be back to your usual self soon enough. 957 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:13,759 Speaker 3: Yeah. 958 00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,200 Speaker 2: I always said I'd rather be forty weeks pregnant than seven, 959 00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:17,319 Speaker 2: So it's gonna be better. 960 00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,600 Speaker 1: It's gonna be better, we hope. All right, Well, this 961 00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,160 Speaker 1: has been best of both worlds. Sarah is interviewing doctor 962 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:26,520 Speaker 1: Meggie Smith about her fertility journey and freezing her eggs 963 00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,200 Speaker 1: having a baby on her own. We will be back 964 00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,840 Speaker 1: next week with more on making work and life fit together. 965 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,800 Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 966 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:41,200 Speaker 2: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 967 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:42,040 Speaker 2: and you. 968 00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:46,200 Speaker 1: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This 969 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,520 Speaker 1: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join 970 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,320 Speaker 1: us next time for more on making work and life 971 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:53,120 Speaker 1: work together.