1
00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,320
Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.

2
00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,920
Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

3
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,440
Speaker 2: a terrible throatfle.

4
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:14,840
Speaker 3: Guess what you've got decisions, You've got decisions.

5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,720
Speaker 2: Welcome back, y'all, Happy hump Day or whatever day you're

6
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,680
Speaker 2: listening to one of my favorites. I really actually rejected

7
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:22,880
Speaker 2: this segment.

8
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:23,480
Speaker 1: I was like, well, we.

9
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,479
Speaker 2: Already have home mail, but now that I know your lives,

10
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,720
Speaker 2: this home mail, I know. But now that I know

11
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,480
Speaker 2: that their lives are way more fucked up than mine currently,

12
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,040
Speaker 2: I feel a little bit better because, like when I

13
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,479
Speaker 2: be having issues and sometimes whole mail would come in,

14
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,680
Speaker 2: I'd be like, yeah, it's just ain't even close to

15
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:39,400
Speaker 2: what I'm going through.

16
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, they'd be having some maybe having some issues. I

17
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,760
Speaker 1: ain't even gonna ho yeah I need Oh well, we

18
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:44,520
Speaker 1: all have them.

19
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,400
Speaker 2: I have an update from did we talk about on

20
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,199
Speaker 2: YGD my friend that was going through a breakup and

21
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,280
Speaker 2: I had to help her.

22
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,240
Speaker 1: Move, or that I was Patreon that's page Oh.

23
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,320
Speaker 2: Well, y'all, I would give y'all that tea on Patreon.

24
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,680
Speaker 2: Y'all got to go and check out this week's episode

25
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,520
Speaker 2: because I definitely did some feeling on that that was Hey.

26
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,760
Speaker 3: Honie, Okay, yeah, we gotta we gotta, we gotta hear

27
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,399
Speaker 3: that what I do like And how we're gonna start

28
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,199
Speaker 3: this episode this week though? Is I love y'all sending

29
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,319
Speaker 3: us these appreciation emails, and so I want to start

30
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,839
Speaker 3: off by that because the last one had me crying,

31
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,480
Speaker 3: but I was on my period. This one, I feel

32
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,959
Speaker 3: like I could get through it without tears, So I

33
00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:23,039
Speaker 3: did want to start off with this.

34
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:24,959
Speaker 1: Hi, Mandy and Weezy.

35
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,080
Speaker 3: I just had to take a moment to give you

36
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,039
Speaker 3: both some flowers and share my appreciation for decisions decisions.

37
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 3: Your podcast has been with me through so many seasons

38
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,479
Speaker 3: of my life, both in my pro dating era when

39
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,760
Speaker 3: I was exploring relationships and in my conscious dating era,

40
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 3: when I've chosen to be single, deeply in tune with

41
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,080
Speaker 3: myself and not actively pursued by the men in the

42
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,200
Speaker 3: dating pool. Somehow, your voices continue to set the tone

43
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,200
Speaker 3: for me rising to my highest self and pure form.

44
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,080
Speaker 3: Tuning in each week from the main episode to the

45
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,960
Speaker 3: bonuses has felt like having trusted companions along my journey.

46
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,640
Speaker 3: You make me laugh, reflect and sometimes challenge myself, and

47
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,240
Speaker 3: it's truly special to grow alongside you both. Your book

48
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,880
Speaker 3: No Holds Barred is hands down my favorite book and

49
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,440
Speaker 3: audiobook ever. I was literally I was literally cheering. My

50
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,560
Speaker 3: girls did that. I felt like a proud mom witnessing

51
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:23,880
Speaker 3: your brilliance. I've officially graduated from dating, yet I remain

52
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,280
Speaker 3: hopeful for my dangerously sexy ideal Guide and somehow listening

53
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,280
Speaker 3: to your podcast keeps that energy alive in the best way.

54
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,640
Speaker 3: Thank you for creating a space that is entertaining, honest,

55
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,440
Speaker 3: and thought provoking. You've had a real impact on my

56
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,679
Speaker 3: personal growth, and I just wanted to make sure you

57
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:44,880
Speaker 3: knew how much you're appreciated with love and gratitude. Maya

58
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:51,120
Speaker 3: thank you so much. She did also ask when it

59
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,639
Speaker 3: is our next tour live event. Follow our Instagram and

60
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,720
Speaker 3: you will know there if not on Patreon, but you

61
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,320
Speaker 3: listen really nice, So yeah, thank you for that.

62
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,040
Speaker 1: I really love that, really really loved that.

63
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,200
Speaker 3: And also, if you're listening to this and you haven't

64
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,720
Speaker 3: gotten your book No Holds Barred yet, if you go

65
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,680
Speaker 3: to the Simon and Schuster site, you can now get

66
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:18,040
Speaker 3: an exclusive signed edition of that book. So head on

67
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,680
Speaker 3: over to Simon and Schuster dot com. You'll be able

68
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,559
Speaker 3: to get the signed version over there on their website.

69
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,000
Speaker 2: You know, I never really think of a podcast as

70
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,359
Speaker 2: a place where I could find hope and things like that,

71
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,800
Speaker 2: but I find most of it in books. Like for me,

72
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,640
Speaker 2: like reading a book and like that's just like my

73
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,560
Speaker 2: consumption of like new information. And honestly, I feel like

74
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,480
Speaker 2: I would could go up to three authors right now

75
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,760
Speaker 2: and like say the same thing. It's really important though,

76
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,800
Speaker 2: for us to hear these and for you to let

77
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,400
Speaker 2: us know, Like I love when people write me about

78
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,160
Speaker 2: a situation they overcame, like it just feels really sure

79
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,920
Speaker 2: and knowing that we're authors too, so like you, even

80
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,240
Speaker 2: feeling that impact from the book and the podcast, it

81
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,400
Speaker 2: just means a lot because while we were writing it,

82
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:03,080
Speaker 2: it definitely it's feeling like ooh, juict fun. But knowing

83
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,280
Speaker 2: that we had to put some lessons learned in there

84
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,839
Speaker 2: was very important as well.

85
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,320
Speaker 1: I agree.

86
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:14,000
Speaker 3: Well, this letter comes from a trusted patron member. Again,

87
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,640
Speaker 3: if you want to watch this full video or have

88
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,960
Speaker 3: your letters boost it up to the top for us

89
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,120
Speaker 3: to read and give you our advice, head on over

90
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,680
Speaker 3: to patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible Decisions, If if you

91
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,479
Speaker 3: want to send in your letter, send it to decisions

92
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:35,600
Speaker 3: pod at gmail dot com. All right, follow me here.

93
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,440
Speaker 3: It's a little chunky, but we'll get through it. This

94
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 3: one is asking for advice on learning to trust again,

95
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,719
Speaker 3: as they provided background, Hi.

96
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,520
Speaker 1: Mandy and Weezy. Sorry this is long.

97
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,880
Speaker 3: I'm writing this in hopes that you guys maybe I

98
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,760
Speaker 3: have some advice for me. So for background, I'm twenty

99
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,040
Speaker 3: six years old, I live in Atlanta, and I lost

100
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 3: my virginity at twenty two. I had never even kissed

101
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:03,039
Speaker 3: a guyun ttil earlier that year. Growing up, I was

102
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 3: very sheltered and hadn't had a lot of opportunities to

103
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:10,160
Speaker 3: become experienced. I'm a longtime listener, so trust me, I

104
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,600
Speaker 3: had the urges, just not the right chances. The guy

105
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,479
Speaker 3: I lost my virginity too, was great. He understood my

106
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:21,520
Speaker 3: goal was to lose the infamous be card, did it

107
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,880
Speaker 3: the first time and never did it again. This isn't

108
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,000
Speaker 3: about him, It's about the guy after him. We met

109
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,120
Speaker 3: at work and I was maybe twenty one or twenty

110
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,680
Speaker 3: two at the time, and he was forty one, working

111
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:37,880
Speaker 3: the same job, same position, big red flag. He pursued

112
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,960
Speaker 3: me for months spending money on me, offering to help me,

113
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:46,159
Speaker 3: showing me attention I had never experienced before, so I

114
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,560
Speaker 3: fell for it after months of fighting it. The sexual

115
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,320
Speaker 3: attension could be felt in the room, and I saw.

116
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,800
Speaker 1: Him as an opportunity to have some.

117
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,520
Speaker 3: Fun and experience of things I had only played out

118
00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:00,200
Speaker 3: in my mind. I was blinded by lust girl. He

119
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,440
Speaker 3: was where I really started to explore what sex could be.

120
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,599
Speaker 3: I naively trusted him with my body and my health,

121
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:11,720
Speaker 3: and he ended up giving me herpees. I was very careful,

122
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,119
Speaker 3: but there was some slips. I didn't find out until

123
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,200
Speaker 3: a year later, and I hadn't been with anyone else.

124
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,880
Speaker 3: We had ended it by then, but to say I

125
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,679
Speaker 3: was devastated is an understatement. My trust was broken because

126
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,760
Speaker 3: he knew he had it.

127
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:28,599
Speaker 1: And didn't tell me.

128
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,040
Speaker 3: Knew he knew he had it and didn't tell and

129
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:39,599
Speaker 3: didn't tell her. Ooh, bitch, with this, here we go.

130
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,560
Speaker 3: My heart was broken because I thought I loved him.

131
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,520
Speaker 3: The delusion got me, and I was scared of what

132
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,120
Speaker 3: this meant for my future. It took me a long

133
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,560
Speaker 3: time to open up, and I'm still afraid of trusting

134
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,240
Speaker 3: men sexually. I started dating someone else casually maybe two

135
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:59,159
Speaker 3: years after. I didn't want anything. He was just very persistent,

136
00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:02,120
Speaker 3: so I gave him a trice chance. We never had sex,

137
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,000
Speaker 3: just fooled around, and I never intended on having sex

138
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,640
Speaker 3: with him, just wanted to be around a man. I

139
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,240
Speaker 3: didn't want to do anything until I told him about

140
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,800
Speaker 3: the HSB we were playing I'm curious to.

141
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,360
Speaker 1: Know, Oh, come on, shout out cocktails.

142
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:20,000
Speaker 3: When the question came up about STDs, I didn't tell

143
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,440
Speaker 3: him in that moment because I never intended on having

144
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,560
Speaker 3: sex with him, and I was scared of the judgment

145
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,600
Speaker 3: that would come with it, which is why we didn't

146
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,600
Speaker 3: go all the way. A few days after, I felt

147
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,160
Speaker 3: so bad, I called him over and I told him.

148
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,680
Speaker 3: He called me a liar and told me he was

149
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:39,440
Speaker 3: disgusted by the way. I've never had an outbreak. This

150
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,640
Speaker 3: was about nine months ago and I haven't been with

151
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,280
Speaker 3: anyone since, and I recently here he's been.

152
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,280
Speaker 1: Telling people about me and what happened.

153
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,840
Speaker 3: How do I navigate dating when trust was broken for

154
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,760
Speaker 3: me really early and I haven't had a lot of.

155
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,160
Speaker 1: Positive experiences since.

156
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,240
Speaker 3: Scared to trust and I'm scared no one will want

157
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,920
Speaker 3: me the same way. It's like I was tainted before

158
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,680
Speaker 3: I ever got the chance. I've also told no one

159
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,000
Speaker 3: about my diagnosis except for him. My friends and family

160
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,480
Speaker 3: are always asking what am I going to get serious

161
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,480
Speaker 3: and bring someone home? I really don't date. I'm scared

162
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,840
Speaker 3: to be vulnerable again. Hopefully you can help. Sincerely, a

163
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,440
Speaker 3: lonely lover girl.

164
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,760
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm about to give you this advice based off

165
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,680
Speaker 2: of something that is actually currently happening in my life

166
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,160
Speaker 2: as a friend of mine who realized she had HSV

167
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:33,640
Speaker 2: during her pregnancy, and it was so fucking sad, Okay,

168
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,800
Speaker 2: and she was like really going through it because she

169
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:41,560
Speaker 2: basically figured out she had she had getten tested a

170
00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:44,080
Speaker 2: few months before pregnancy in her relationship and then figured

171
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,240
Speaker 2: out she had HSV during the pregnancy, and so that

172
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,200
Speaker 2: just already led to issues with trust, being emotional. She

173
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,840
Speaker 2: joined a support group in New York, and there's one

174
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,240
Speaker 2: in each city. But also, you need guidance on how

175
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:03,120
Speaker 2: to tell somebody you have hs There's a national STD hotline.

176
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,560
Speaker 2: It's eight hundred two two seven eight nine to two

177
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,320
Speaker 2: to two. It's twenty four hours a day, all day. Okay,

178
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,280
Speaker 2: you can get on that line and basically role play

179
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,840
Speaker 2: with the person. Oh wow, on how you tell somebody

180
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:21,599
Speaker 2: what you have, on how to have better language around transmission,

181
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,280
Speaker 2: about your own safety, like, hey, if you have sex

182
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,040
Speaker 2: with me, XYZ won't happen. Like I feel so bad

183
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,600
Speaker 2: for this person because I can't imagine to know you

184
00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:32,520
Speaker 2: fucked somebody that had it and new Day had it

185
00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:33,240
Speaker 2: and just anability.

186
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,760
Speaker 3: So here's the other part that I want to share too,

187
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,560
Speaker 3: because transmission becomes a tricky conversation.

188
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,160
Speaker 1: You said that he slipped up.

189
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,840
Speaker 3: You slipped up a couple times with him, and I

190
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:55,000
Speaker 3: assume that means that you had sex unprotected. You can

191
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,720
Speaker 3: transfer it skin to skin contact, So if there's any

192
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:02,400
Speaker 3: sort of like cells even like on his balls or

193
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,800
Speaker 3: something like, if there's anything that's just skin to skin,

194
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,240
Speaker 3: you could literally get it. You can get herpes with

195
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 3: the use of a condom. Also, something that's really interesting

196
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,680
Speaker 3: and I hope that you have looked into it. There's

197
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,560
Speaker 3: HSB one, there's HSB two. Those are the main ones,

198
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,440
Speaker 3: but there's like eight different forms of HSB. But you

199
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,400
Speaker 3: could get You could have HSB in your fucking armpit,

200
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:26,000
Speaker 3: little do you know. I don't know, Yes, girl, HSB

201
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,200
Speaker 3: can be in different places.

202
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,000
Speaker 1: On your body where you can get outbreaks. So you

203
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,760
Speaker 1: have to do you have to fuck in the armpit?

204
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,880
Speaker 3: Oh, it's because bro, if it's a skin disease, that's

205
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 3: where you're out like. So the other thing that's really interesting,

206
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:42,959
Speaker 3: and what most people don't realize is a rebrand. Guess

207
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:47,600
Speaker 3: what got a rebrand? HSB one, which is a cold sore.

208
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,400
Speaker 3: And so even though people may feel like, oh, I'm

209
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,680
Speaker 3: just gonna go get some you know, a breva for

210
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:59,120
Speaker 3: this cold store, if you actually allow someone to give

211
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:04,480
Speaker 3: you oral sex while there's in their mouth, you could

212
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:09,280
Speaker 3: then get HSB two because now you've been exposed in

213
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,680
Speaker 3: your vaginal region for that.

214
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,079
Speaker 1: So I think that's the other interesting thing.

215
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,080
Speaker 3: It's a skin disease, there's a rebrand around it with

216
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,840
Speaker 3: HSB one, and everyone just says, oh couldsore. Oh my

217
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,360
Speaker 3: immune system is down. But that's another thing too. With outbreaks,

218
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,160
Speaker 3: a lot of it is tied to your immune system.

219
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,280
Speaker 3: So I would be interested. And it's why I tell everybody,

220
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,640
Speaker 3: if you're gonna go down and suck some dick, you

221
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,480
Speaker 3: better look underneath, look in and around all that thing,

222
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,920
Speaker 3: because an outbreak could be really really small, or it

223
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:40,440
Speaker 3: can look nasty, like it's really hard to tell. Also,

224
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,320
Speaker 3: one of the things that I suggest you to do

225
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,439
Speaker 3: is find someone who is mature.

226
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:53,679
Speaker 1: And having conversations around sex in general. I think it what.

227
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,240
Speaker 2: Could you date somebody?

228
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,480
Speaker 1: But HSD yes you could.

229
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:02,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get cold sort so to me, like, bitch,

230
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,600
Speaker 3: my sister had cold stores before she even started fucking

231
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,440
Speaker 3: like people get cold.

232
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,880
Speaker 2: Soors what about HSP too, now bumps on the dick.

233
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I'm assuming she has HSB too.

234
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:15,680
Speaker 1: That's what I'm assuming too.

235
00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:19,600
Speaker 3: Now I don't know, because that's not something where I

236
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,319
Speaker 3: want to risk me getting outbreaks. However, it is also

237
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:28,120
Speaker 3: only transferable during an outbreak. So to me, this kind

238
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,720
Speaker 3: of conversation leads you to be with someone who is

239
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:37,719
Speaker 3: sexually intelligent, emotionally intelligent, and has no fear in communicating

240
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:41,480
Speaker 3: about what's happening with their bodies. And so for me, bro,

241
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,840
Speaker 3: you know, if you have an outbreak, don't have sex

242
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:45,800
Speaker 3: while you have an outbreak.

243
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,040
Speaker 1: Like, I don't think herpes is transferable.

244
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:53,479
Speaker 3: Let me ask my husband, hold on, is herpes transferable

245
00:12:53,520 --> 00:13:00,199
Speaker 3: without an outbreak? Sorry y'all, because to me, I don't

246
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,680
Speaker 3: want to deal with a bumpy did. But if it's

247
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:09,560
Speaker 3: something that is like goes undetected or or what's it called, Like,

248
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,560
Speaker 3: what's it called? When it doesn't like flare up, when

249
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,720
Speaker 3: it's just dormant. If it's something that's dormant and you're

250
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:20,120
Speaker 3: not getting constant outbreaks, then I don't think anything's wrong

251
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:20,520
Speaker 3: with it.

252
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,240
Speaker 2: So, I mean, there's there's a thing like that I've

253
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:29,120
Speaker 2: been realizing to women that have HPV and it's churning

254
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,880
Speaker 2: up as genital words.

255
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,839
Speaker 3: Like okay, by the way, oh, I didn't want to

256
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:37,360
Speaker 3: add this real quick, So it can be transmitted, but

257
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,880
Speaker 3: the risk is much lower when there isn't an outbreak,

258
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:47,440
Speaker 3: and that's because of asymptomatic shedding, so presence of it

259
00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:51,600
Speaker 3: being in the skin, so it can be present on

260
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,880
Speaker 3: the skin or the mucosa without causing sores. During this time,

261
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,080
Speaker 3: it can still spread through skin to skin contact.

262
00:13:58,559 --> 00:13:58,719
Speaker 2: Bro.

263
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,960
Speaker 3: I feel like, bro, if you go to a goddamn

264
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,200
Speaker 3: diner and your server got goddamn and you should, I mean.

265
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,160
Speaker 2: That's not necessary too. But you can get herpes through condoms,

266
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:07,800
Speaker 2: Like that's the.

267
00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:09,560
Speaker 1: One you can't get. You can't get them through condoms.

268
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,800
Speaker 1: You can't. Right, I'm not gonna front.

269
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:16,480
Speaker 2: I know how you feel because I'm here to say,

270
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,600
Speaker 2: and I don't want to make you feel worse.

271
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,040
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could do it well. Here

272
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,680
Speaker 1: is some reassurance.

273
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:29,040
Speaker 3: While heartbeas is very compident, very common, it's often mild,

274
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,080
Speaker 3: and many people who have it don't know they have it,

275
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:37,760
Speaker 3: but transmiss transmission risk is manageable, and many couples with

276
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,560
Speaker 3: one HSB positive partner can never transmit it to the other.

277
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,280
Speaker 1: It's possible that you could have.

278
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,880
Speaker 3: It and not transmit it to your partner, and I

279
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,600
Speaker 3: think that that's just going to take again the maturity

280
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,520
Speaker 3: of having conversations around it and making sure you're following

281
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,600
Speaker 3: whatever steps you need to.

282
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:56,640
Speaker 1: That's great news too.

283
00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:00,600
Speaker 2: The person that I know that recently contracted HSP, who's

284
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:05,160
Speaker 2: still pregnant, told me that she had absolutely seen no signs.

285
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,080
Speaker 2: She's been sleeping with the same partner for two years

286
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,680
Speaker 2: and to this day does not see any kind of

287
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,640
Speaker 2: words or signs of HSV. So there were even moments

288
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,560
Speaker 2: where he was like, oh, maybe you fucking around, because

289
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,520
Speaker 2: she had it and he didn't. So I think it

290
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,200
Speaker 2: just comes down to being able to manage and know

291
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,160
Speaker 2: your own body's symptoms at so most of the times

292
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,080
Speaker 2: when people are, you know, getting an outbreak or a reaction.

293
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:32,720
Speaker 1: They can feel it.

294
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:33,480
Speaker 2: They can feel it being it.

295
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:37,360
Speaker 3: Literally says that here it says that you want to

296
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:42,080
Speaker 3: avoid contact during warning signs. So warning signs, and maybe

297
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,720
Speaker 3: since you're new to this, maybe you're unaware. Warning signs

298
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,680
Speaker 3: include tingling, itching, and pain. So even if there's no sores,

299
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,000
Speaker 3: if you have a little tingly itch and sensation, it

300
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,040
Speaker 3: could be, you know, a sign that you're about to

301
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 3: have an outbreak.

302
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,880
Speaker 1: Also, I think again it's important to know.

303
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,800
Speaker 3: That there are anti daily anti viral medications that you

304
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,920
Speaker 3: can take that significantly lower viral shutting.

305
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,920
Speaker 1: So again, there's medicine that you could take. I hate

306
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:12,280
Speaker 1: that you.

307
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:17,200
Speaker 3: Feel like you're like trash now, like that no one's

308
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 3: gonna want you, because that's just not that's that's just

309
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,920
Speaker 3: not true. And I think they said, like eighty percent

310
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,720
Speaker 3: of the fucking global population has some form of heartpees,

311
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 3: so maybe just find a nigga who gets it in

312
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,000
Speaker 3: his armpits.

313
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 1: Girl, I don't know what the advice was. Good, do

314
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 1: you on need to find another nigga?

315
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,320
Speaker 3: I mean you could no, why not two people with

316
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:37,800
Speaker 3: herpes should maybe be together.

317
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 2: Well, I mean the arms pit pit specific, but look

318
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,640
Speaker 2: up the support roots whenever you're feeling down, because they're

319
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,800
Speaker 2: gonna literally like my hunggirl was like, bitch, they're and

320
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,000
Speaker 2: they're showing off their kids, their family, celebrating living life,

321
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,160
Speaker 2: and I'm fucking worried about myself right now. So I

322
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,120
Speaker 2: think it's really just figuring out, like once you anybody

323
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 2: with any kind of infection or yeah, something that's incurable,

324
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,760
Speaker 2: they need to know life goes on.

325
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,680
Speaker 1: That their support life goes on.

326
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 3: And if you want to go all the way back

327
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:11,240
Speaker 3: to our first year of having horrible decisions, we had

328
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:15,359
Speaker 3: a girl come on and talk about sharing and being

329
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,919
Speaker 3: open about her herpes diagnosis, and she was really just

330
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 3: open about living with it. I think she talked about

331
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,199
Speaker 3: how she communicated with her partners. Listening to maybe that

332
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,360
Speaker 3: episode I think would really help you quite a bit.

333
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 1: So I hope that you I hope that you know

334
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,399
Speaker 1: that you are love, You're deserving it.

335
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,520
Speaker 3: Love and harpies ain't gonna stop it. There's a lot

336
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,399
Speaker 3: of niggas that will still fuck through the herpes.

337
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:45,160
Speaker 1: Believe an ATHM fucked to and you are okay, you are.

338
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,400
Speaker 3: I'm sorry that this man did that, and I do

339
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 3: have faith that you will find trust in a partner

340
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:58,320
Speaker 3: where you can be open and they can be you know, open.

341
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:03,000
Speaker 1: With you agreed. Good luck to you, Giry, best of luck.

342
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 3: If you want to send it your letter in send

343
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,520
Speaker 3: it to Decisions pod at gmail dot com. And also,

344
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,600
Speaker 3: if you want to watch the full video to our

345
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 3: You Got Decisions episodes, head on over to Patreon guess

346
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 3: patreon dot com backslash horrible decision. Fine you guys next

347
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:29,919
Speaker 3: week