WEBVTT - Where's the Ring? with Lexi Buchanan 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 How I Suck at Dating with de Ungler and Jared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:10.119 Haven and I heard radio podcast. All right, welcome to 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:13.399 an all new episode of help by Suck at Dating. 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:16.560 I'm Jared Haven joined by Dean Hunger. We have a 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:18.880 very special guest on the line, and we just heard 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:23.680 that it's her first podcast ever, and I'd argue she's 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:27.080 joining the greatest podcast of all time. It is Lexie 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:30.280 Buchanan from season twenty four, also known as Peter Webber 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:35.200 season of The Bachelor. Lexie, howaiya good? How are you guys? 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:38.360 I'm good? Oh, thanks for coming. So where are you 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:41.440 in the country right now? I'm gonna Ryland. Dean's in Vegas. 0:00:41.560 --> 0:00:47.199 I would imagine that's correct. Ye. I am in Arlington, Virginia, 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:53.320 so right outside of DC, and um, yeah, I've been 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:56.520 here for about two years now. So my wife actually 0:00:56.520 --> 0:01:01.040 is from Great Falls. Yeah, I M I probably just 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:04.400 tell people d C because no one really realizes that 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:08.880 for Arlington's right outside of it and I love it. 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:12.240 We like have a little house and I have my 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:16.679 own backyard and a driveway, so very different from New York. 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:23.800 Whenever I my fiance is from Fredericksburg. Really we create 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:29.880 a little triangle down there, which, um, that's interesting. I 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:31.559 like it out there too. I went out there last 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.160 year or two years ago for a Thanksgiving and I've 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:36.040 never been to d C or anywhere in that area 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:38.600 and it was nice. So, um, kutas to you. It 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:41.240 seems like a great place. Obviously if Ashley and Klin 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:43.760 can be from there, I don't see how anyone could 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:46.319 speak ill of it, right, No, I can think of 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:49.880 some things. Yeah, yeah, there's probably some things that aren't 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:52.720 so savory. Um. But Lexi, So it's your first podcast ever. 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:54.760 We're so honored to have you part of the experience 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:57.520 here with us um and as a co host then 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:01.440 the less so you we saw you on Peter season. Um, 0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:04.040 what have you been up to since then? Because that 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:05.880 was like, at this point, that was like three years 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:08.000 ago now, wasn't it was a long time ago? Yeah, 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:12.720 actually as of September it was three years ago. So yeah, 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:16.720 pre COVID It honestly feels like a lifetime ago. Um, 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:20.200 so much has changed, but I think I credit a 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:23.559 lot of it to going on the show. So, um, 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:27.560 you know, I'm in a very happy relationship. Um, that 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:31.640 kind of happened right after this show and from there 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:36.240 I moved to Arlington. Raham Now, I UM love my job. 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:39.840 I got a dog. That is my whole life. Like 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:41.960 I became one of those dog people. I guess it 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:44.080 just happens to you, whether you wanted to or not. 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:51.200 But I think when I went on this show, I 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.120 was in New York, I loved my life. I was 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:58.520 very single, dating a lot, like definitely looking for a relationship, 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:02.200 but I think I was I didn't know what I wanted. 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:04.640 I needed to find myself and I think the show 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:07.919 helped me find what I actually wanted in a relationship. 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:10.640 But I was looking for in a partner. Uh, just 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:14.360 kind of put some pieces together. And um, I mean 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:16.760 I personally don't think I was built for the show. 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:21.080 It was hard and I'm not a competitor when it 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:25.800 comes to dating. Like I loved the girls. I just 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:27.680 fell in love with all the girls and my friends, 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:30.360 and I saw how much they liked you know, Peter, 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:32.560 and I liked him too. But I was like, I 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:34.560 can tell you guys are connecting, Like I don't want 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:36.440 to get in the way of that, like I want 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.360 you to it seems like you guys really like it. 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:41.320 Just so I don't know it was I struggled with 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:45.080 the competitive aspect. I absolutely love it. I had the 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:47.520 best time and it was such a good experience. But 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:50.760 I think it helps me leaving the show know who 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:53.800 I was and what I wanted in a relationship and 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:57.160 just kind of set me up for success. To your 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:00.600 point about the other girls forming connections, I think maybe 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:04.240 that just makes you um less willing to lie on 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:06.280 TV about something, because I feel like a lot of 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:09.920 people will inflate their feelings towards the person that they're 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:11.840 supposed to be just makes a better human being at 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.040 the end of the day. Yeah, I mean that's good, 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.200 and I mean I I guess that's true. I was 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:22.479 very honest and I didn't realize that other maybe part 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:24.640 of it was kind of lying to yourself a little 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:28.720 bit too, maybe inflate that connection. But I mean we've 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:31.600 all been through it. You're so wrapped up in that 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:34.800 moment and those are your only thoughts and that's all 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:39.080 you really know, so it you know. I'm not saying 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:42.680 I didn't like Peter. I did. I really was trying 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:47.400 to find the point parts of us that connected, and 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:48.840 there were some things that I was like, oh, I 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:51.359 could actually see myself with this person, but I was 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:55.120 looking for more of a connection and not necessarily, um, 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:59.239 just a fiance, right, fiance for the sake of fiance. 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:01.599 So good for you, right, good for you? Yeah? And 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:03.440 then and then how did you meet your boyfriend? Was 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:06.320 there any type of like sliding into the d m 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:09.280 s afterwards? Because you say you credit a lot from 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:11.240 the show, and so I would imagine there has to 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:15.520 be some like connection there, right, Yes, Well, we actually 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:19.200 dated in college, so I knew him in college. We 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:22.080 moved to New York together, we were kind of together, 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:25.440 and about nine months in he broke up with me, 0:05:26.040 --> 0:05:30.760 and I was devastated, like beyond devastated. I really thought 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:33.320 that he was the person I was going to be with, 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:36.640 and it just kind of shocked me. But it ended 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.719 up being the best thing because we were best friends 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.720 and both of us being right out of college being 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:44.800 new to New York, like we needed the time to 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:48.640 be individuals and just experienced the city and focus on 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:53.039 career and our own wants and goals and um, not 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.800 that we couldn't do that together, but it was just 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:59.359 too early. So um, I like was shocked that he 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:01.320 broke up with I still tell them that where we're 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:03.240 together now and I'm like, I still can't believe you, 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:10.760 you know, did that, but uh, not to bring up 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:13.320 old wounds. But you know, now I'm curious. No, it's 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.440 not it's it's really not even a wound, because I 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:18.400 think it just part of our story now. But he 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:21.000 was like it was a little scary, it was all 0:06:21.040 --> 0:06:24.720 too much, too young. I wanted to focus on career 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.600 and and I, you know, I thanked him. We ran 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:29.720 into each other at a bar like nine months later, 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:32.000 and I was just like, you know, like, thank you. 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:35.400 I really appreciate you doing that, because I don't think 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:37.680 I had this strength to do it. But in hindsight, 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:40.480 it was what needed to happen. Um, neither of us 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:42.360 ever had a bad word to say about each other. 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:44.960 You know, we we kind of ran in the same 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.239 circles in New York, but never really crossed paths, which 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:51.400 was great. Um, but we both would hear, you know, well, 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:53.120 we only has good things to say about you, and 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.400 I would say the same, and then you know, I 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:58.800 was going on the show is really I think me 0:06:58.880 --> 0:07:03.240 putting that to bed, being like, okay, that relationship is over, 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:07.040 so that that ended in Like, I didn't go on 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:09.840 the show until so those three years I was just 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:14.760 you know, exploring the dating of New York, which is 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:21.320 way harder than The Bachelor. And yeah, people are career 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:23.360 focused and I like that. I think it's a city 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:27.960 for you know, focusing on work. And when I think 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.560 when I think of a guy in New York, I 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:33.800 think of a guy in a suit with slicked back hair, 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:36.880 clean shaven, on a scooter on his way to work. 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:41.360 I swear to God, like the amount of electric scooters. 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:46.080 I'm like, you're grown anyway, continue, But that's that I 0:07:46.080 --> 0:07:49.800 would assume is the dating pool in New York. Yeah, 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:52.200 I mean you get a mix of everybody in New York. 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:55.640 But I don't know, I think, um, you know, the 0:07:55.680 --> 0:08:00.760 breakup was definitely a pivotal point in my personal growth 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:02.960 of like, Okay, I'm going to be more of an individual. 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.440 I'm in New York. He it was hard, but he 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:07.400 really did do me a favor. So let me just 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:11.160 live my life and see what happens. Um. So I 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:15.160 did that. The show happened, and I end up going 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:18.640 on the show, and obviously, and then I get back, 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:21.600 I get my phone and I had a text message 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.240 from him, just really nice. We hadn't talked in years, 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:26.640 but it's like, so proud of you for putting yourself 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:28.560 out there. I think it's awesome. You're gonna make your 0:08:28.600 --> 0:08:32.600 family like. So it was just a really kind, nice message. 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.480 This person is my my best friend like for years. 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:38.480 So um it made me like emotional and I was like, 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:42.720 how can I be getting this emotionally, I haven't even 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.440 talked to you in years and no offense, But I 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.200 cared more about this person than like the experience that 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:51.320 I just did for six weeks. So it put things 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:54.040 in perspective for me of like, that was a connection 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:56.200 that I think I'll always have. I wanted the best 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:59.240 for him regardless, like let it go and maybe it'll 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:03.839 come back. And we started dating. I wasn't going to 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:06.080 go on paradise because I now have, you know, this 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:08.800 new relationship. And then COVID happened, so I didn't even 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:11.720 have to worry about that and here we are two 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.840 and a half years later. So for for all of 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:17.200 its flaws that the show has, I think one of 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:20.480 the great things about it is, um, if you're gone 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:22.800 long enough, you have the experience to like see what 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:25.480 it's like living life without your cell phone, right or 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.320 like other distractions. It's it's great, right. And then so 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:30.679 it like forces you to think of and focus on 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:34.000 things that maybe you wouldn't before or like dive deeper 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:38.760 into them. And I think it's interesting because I think 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:40.840 that there are a few people that have you know, 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:43.560 you're on the show, and while you're killing the hours 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:45.320 of downtime that you have, all you're doing is thinking 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:48.920 about like back home and people that you know and 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:51.280 all these things. Like I don't know, it just it 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:54.400 does kind of help provide some some clarity and other 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:57.800 assets or other places of your life. So I mean, 0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:01.960 I definitely it's so interesting. Is like you're like supposed 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:03.960 to be on the show dating a person, and like 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:05.280 even when I was on the show the first time, 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:07.480 I was thinking about my ex girlfriend and I was, 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:08.920 I don't know, it's just weird. It's like why am 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:10.520 I even thinking about this girl? And I'm supposed to 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:12.800 be doing this girl? But I don't know. I think 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.280 when you're in the on the show, like you have 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.960 to think about such serious things, like you're thinking about 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:22.800 how will our families you know, like each other when 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.199 they meet, or how will we build a life together? 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:27.880 Now now that you you know the person you're dating 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:29.840 on the show lives in X city and your ine 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.319 y city, Like, how will we make that work? You're 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:37.120 thinking about like real things, So I think, of course 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:41.079 you're going to reflect on past relationships. But I think 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:43.920 as far as my relationship, this was my big love 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:47.640 and I was really like, I thought that was really 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:50.360 gonna stick. So I went on the show and I 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:54.120 explored other options and it kind of just ended up 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:57.120 leading me back to that person. So for me, it worked, 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:00.800 just not the way normally. Doice. I also think going 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:05.360 on the show makes people confront the fact that their 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:09.000 significant other or their ex significant other has finally moved on. 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.560 I feel like I've heard a lot of stories about 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:14.880 people going on the show and then they're back together 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:19.959 with their X and it's interesting because I do I 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:24.560 went through a similar situation obviously much different because I'm 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.040 happily married with Ashley, but where there was an X 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:30.600 and I was on the show and it caused them 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:33.480 to come back into the picture. Because it's weird seeing 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:36.760 your ex date someone else, and really it's not even 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:39.720 just date someone else. It it makes you think like 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:42.000 they're they're done, they're over, like they have moved on 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:45.000 with their life. It is over between you two. And 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:48.680 I think that a lot of people have this negative 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:51.320 condemnation towards that, which I don't agree with, because I 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:53.719 think people are flawed and I think if you don't 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:56.280 think you're flawed, then you're full of crap. And I 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:57.920 think some people need to kick in the ass. And 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:01.160 I think sometimes people need a put to do, to 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:05.120 act or to follow their heart. And I'm not saying 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:08.040 I just I don't know. I don't think that that's 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:11.160 such a bad thing, you know, because like there'd be 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:13.240 I'm sure that when that guy reached out to you, 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.760 if you told your friends, your friends probably told that, 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:19.520 they were like, tell this guy to kick rocks. Get that, 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:21.000 like now you're on the show and he wants to 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:26.240 reach back out, and you know, in more words, yes, 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:29.400 a sense of oh he's only back because he went 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:32.600 on the show, But that genuinely wasn't like it just 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:35.400 knowing him, he's not really a person for the spotlight 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.560 in general, but like you said, he goes. I kind 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:40.240 of thought you could really be married, like you could 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:43.319 be engaged, and then that would be it and absolute really, 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:48.000 because you know, we had four years that we could 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:51.160 have tried it again and we really didn't. We really like, 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:55.160 we're just gonna let bygones and icons and just be 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.319 happy for each other and support ab of each other 0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:59.640 people with the classic Jared Haben out of his hat. 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:03.480 Damn right, he pops on instead of pulling a rabbit, 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.079 pulls a little patchy facial here boy pulling out of 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:09.160 the hat. Yeah yeah, he says, Oh, you're into someone 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:12.400 else not happening, So you're coming with me? Now the 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:16.000 time to act, right, I mean now, I mean we've 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.640 stood the test of time. I think there was definitely 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:22.120 some initial like are you sure you want to get 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:25.720 back into that? You know, like you you're you're on 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.640 the Bachelor. Why would you not go on Paradise? Why 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.559 would you say no to this? And I'm like, because 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:32.679 that's not what I care about. I'm like, I'm sorry, 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:37.160 I don't like I genuinely I cared more about finding Well, 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.920 did you like, do you make him sweat it out 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:42.319 for a little while? At least? I think that would 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.720 be like, actually made me sweat it out a couple 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:49.040 of months, not not too long. But it was funny 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.800 timing because we went like our first like we hung 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:57.720 out in New York in February, like around Valentine's Ish time, 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.000 and then New York shut down in March twenty one, 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:04.000 so like a month later COVID happened, we would have gone, 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.319 and we both never went back to New York. So 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:09.559 if we didn't, you know, like actually meet up or 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.240 hang out within that month of time, we may never have. 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:26.440 So it's it's just funny how timing works. So you 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.040 guys been together for two and a half years. You said, 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:31.760 is there any because and you guys aren't engaged, and 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:33.800 if you're not engaged, is there any talk of engagement 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.440 coming up? Yeah? I mean we we go to so 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:38.400 many weddings. I feel like all I've done this year 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:40.640 and go to friends weddings, and now it's to the 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:44.040 point where it's like, oh, any anything, Like we talked 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:47.640 about it, it's definitely in the cards, but I want 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:52.520 to be totally surprised, and I have not pressuring him whatsoever. Um, 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:56.160 so we'll see. We're we're definitely on the way there, 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.280 but how much longer? How long can you last without 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.160 eventually having to apply a little bit of pressure. It's 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:06.040 a good question. I'm almost thirty. I'll be thirty in June, 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.960 and I think that's what our birthdays or three days apart. 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:12.600 So we're planning some sort of big thirtieth birthday trip 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:17.280 and he's probably gonna watch this podcast later. So if 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.520 he wants to do it around my thirtieth birthday on 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:22.600 our big trip, that would be fine. That's then you 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:26.840 wouldn't be surprised. That's true. God, Jared, I don't know 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.640 anywhere around that, and we're in the thirties. I don't 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:31.440 want to be like a. I don't want to be 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:36.840 UM thirty three and you know, still be dating. I 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:39.400 think that's kind of my window. But now that you 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:41.960 have said it and you think he's not gonna do 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:43.720 because you want to be surprised, maybe now he's gonna 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:46.600 do it because it's like a like a reverse psychology 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.120 kind of thing, you know. I'm a I'm a big 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:53.680 advocate for for that idea solely because I want all 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:58.040 like um anniversaries to be on the same date. I 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.520 really want, like, like, if you guys have two birthdays 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.440 three days apart, why not just throwing engagement in there. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.680 On the same right around the same day. You guys 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.880 have the same type of life, you know, you have 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:12.120 the same moment here because he's like that was he 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.960 actually asked me to be his girlfriend right around our birthday, 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:21.840 so that could just all be one beegnd, I love it. Well, 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:24.360 I know you're recently engaged, and I know that was 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:28.600 you know, a long time coming. So congrats, thank you, 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:32.880 I appreciate it. But and that's where this she I 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:34.320 told her it was going to happen before the end 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:38.400 of so she uh, she claimed she didn't know, but 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:40.360 I think she did no more than she's putting on. 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:44.440 She was more angry than anything else. Yeah, yeah, I 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:48.760 gotta marry this guy now. But it's funny. Oh yeah, no. 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:50.480 I was talking more just spending the rest of her 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.360 life with this difference right here. But she's already signed 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:55.560 up for that, so it was the hike that she 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:58.160 probably didn't sign up for that day. Well, so we're 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:00.840 talking about our wedding and she was asking when I 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.160 wanted to get married, and I said, I want to 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.320 get married on the same day we got engaged. That way, 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:07.920 we could just like have one anniversary. But it turns 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.440 out the same day. Next year's on a Tuesday, And 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:12.360 I was like, great, let's get married on a Tuesday. 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:16.359 And obviously that's not gonna happen, so obviously going to happen. 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:21.240 Just I agree, I agree, but I don't know. I 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:26.399 don't have a Tuesday wedding be totally out of the box. Yeah, 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:30.480 that's my dream, but you celebrate all week after, so 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:33.960 you just have like a whole That sounds great. It's true. 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:37.000 I should do that. You should only try to base 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:40.119 your relationship in your wedding around content for this podcast, 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:44.000 and having a wedding on a Tuesday gives us talking points. 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:48.400 So on a Thursday, that's right, that's right. Um, if 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:49.840 if I had it my way, that's how we would 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:51.600 do it. But the thing is it's not it's not 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.720 my day, so it's mostly her column the shots, which 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:56.520 is fine. I'm fine with it. You know, I'm happy 0:17:56.520 --> 0:18:00.480 to come around a lot like I'm like, okay, I 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:03.000 kind of with you. Now, let's just celebrate our birthday 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:06.440 and our dating anniversary in one weekend. There's always a day, 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:09.840 there's always some listening. So Jared, let me ask you this. 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.320 So you now you started dating on a certain day, 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:13.840 you got engaged, on a certain day, you got married 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:15.920 on a certain day. You celebrate birthdays. Do you guys, 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.080 do something for every single one of those occasions? You 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:20.560 dropped them, Like, once you get married, you can drop 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:24.080 the engagement. So that's what I signed up for, but 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:29.359 apparently not because still every every year because my wife 0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:33.359 has a hundred and twenty thousand photos on her phone 0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:36.239 or whatever, so every day it's a constant reminder. This 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:38.040 is when we first said I love each other. This 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:39.720 is when you came out with your feelings. This is 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:41.760 when we first started dating. This is when we officially 0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:44.320 started first dating. This is when we got engaged. This 0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:46.119 is when I called my grandmother to tell her we 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:49.480 got engaged. This is my birthday, This is our wedding anniversary. 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:53.119 Now it's holidays, this is my nieces. Because the problem 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:57.439 is families got it. Literally every day is something sorry 0:18:57.480 --> 0:19:00.560 to like go on that tangent, but there's always like 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:02.639 that you needed to get that off your chest. So 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:04.840 I just need a lot of calendars. We didn't strike 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:07.080 a nerve, it seems like we have. You guys ever 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:10.840 seen the show Parks and Recreation. Yes, I love that 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:13.000 show too. Leslie, Nope. There's an episode where she's like, 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.399 she does that exact same thing. She's like, this is 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:18.000 the time that and and I first heard Taylor Swift together. 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:20.000 This is the time that we first ate our pancakes together. 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:22.399 That's that's kind of how actually comes across to me 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:25.159 in terms of celebrating annivers Its very sweet, but it 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:27.480 would make my life so much easier if I agree 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:29.040 with you both if it was just around the same time. 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:31.160 Granted five years ago, when I didn't have as much 0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:33.200 going on. Of course, I was the person saying, no, 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.520 get married on a different day, like have different days, 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:38.239 really enjoy it. But now there's just too much going on, 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:40.080 and it's like, let's just narrow this down as much 0:19:40.119 --> 0:19:43.000 as possible, so I you know, we can actually like 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:50.840 enjoy our lives a little bit anyway, anyway, um anniversaries, 0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:53.160 so you can just take a back seat, I would think, 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:57.280 I know I will. It's it's hard because he gets 0:19:57.320 --> 0:20:01.760 so much attention, rightfully, so um that like sometimes I'll 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:04.560 smother human attention and naturally's like I want attention, and 0:20:04.560 --> 0:20:10.040 I'm like I'm being a good father. Leave me alone, woman, Lexie, 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:11.720 do you see kids in the future for you guys, 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:14.680 if and when you end up getting married. Yeah, I 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:17.320 mean I'm part of a big family. I have five 0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:20.320 younger siblings, so I grew up like in a crazy 0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:24.320 household with tons of little kids turunning around. Um and 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:28.680 because of that, I want, like to max but um, no, 0:20:29.080 --> 0:20:31.560 I do have kids. Is this something you guys have 0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:33.760 talked about and it's like everyone knows, like all on 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:39.080 the same page and everything. Yeah, we talked about literally everything. Um. 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:41.760 We just like we like to plan, we like to 0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:46.440 talk about like how it will be, but we don't, Um, 0:20:46.480 --> 0:20:48.880 I don't know. We don't have like a set plan, 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:52.280 which I personally like. I like I said, I kind 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:54.760 of want to be surprised. But yeah, it's getting to 0:20:54.800 --> 0:20:57.879 the point where, like I said, I'm getting to thirty 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:01.159 and I know that's young, but it's to me a milestone. 0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:04.520 H I'm like, wow, I should probably being more of 0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:07.520 a planner. Well, especially if you want two kids. I mean, 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:10.080 it is young, but you do have your biological clock. 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:12.399