WEBVTT - From Vision To Reality Through Grateful Anticipation (Outweigh) 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.520 I won't let my body out be outwait everything that 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:08.119 I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change. 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.520 I'm learning love who I am. 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:15.640 Aga, I stan, I feel free. I know every part 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:15.880 of me. 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:18.680 It's beautiful. 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:24.439 And that will always out way if you feel it. 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.560 But she'll some love to the vio. 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:32.040 Why get there sage day Ana? Did you and die 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:37.800 out way? Happy Saturday? Outweigh. This is Leanne and I'm 0:00:37.840 --> 0:00:42.320 back with the amazing Suzanne. Hello, Hi, it's great to 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:46.040 be here. Yes, if you missed the past few weeks, 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.760 we have had some powerhouse conversations. First and foremost, this 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:54.800 series is called Unfiltered Confidence Navigating self discovery within Recovery, 0:00:55.200 --> 0:00:56.960 and if you've listened to the past few weeks, you'll 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:58.960 know exactly why we called it that, because there are 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:03.200 so many beautiful discoveries that can take place within the 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:06.280 context of your recovery journey that have nothing to do 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:09.800 with food and your body, but then also everything to 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:12.080 do with food in your body, even if it seemingly 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:15.679 doesn't right. So our first episode we talked about navigating 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:19.560 life beyond the checklist. Then we got into owning your 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.600 worth in the face of haters and when there's other 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:25.679 people that don't know your worth. And then we talked 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:29.360 about last week a powerful conversation of self compassion beyond 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:32.039 the reflection, having nothing to do with what you look like, 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:34.960 and really learning self compassion almost like it's a new 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:37.800 language or a new skill. And then a couple weeks ago, 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:41.880 Suzanne mentioned a journaling exercise that I taught her, and 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:44.520 we're actually going to talk about that in specificity on 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:48.320 today's episode. Today are episodes called from Vision to Reality 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:52.360 through Grateful Anticipation. And I love this topic. And to 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:54.400 some people it might seem a little bit woo woo, 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:57.440 but to me, it really just aligns with how our 0:01:57.480 --> 0:02:01.440 brains create neuro associations. We are all always either positively 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:06.919 anticipating or negatively anticipating our future, and so negative anticipation 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.919 is the one that typically takes over most of our brains. 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:13.680 Where it's worry, it's fear, it's projecting the worst or 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:17.959 maybe just not projecting the best, and it's anxiety, and 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:20.600 it's all the things that we if we don't get 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:22.280 ownership of it or take a hold of it, we 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:24.359 are going to create it. We're going to create more 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:26.480 of it we create what we think about and what 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:31.280 we focus on versus positive anticipation. And I'll even say 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:34.400 grateful anticipation, which I'll talk about in a second, but 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.760 positively anticipating in the future. And it's not like the 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:41.360 roses and butterflies positive anticipation of like, oh, I'm so 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:43.160 glad I'm going to win the lottery, and I'm so 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:45.760 glad that I'm gonna, you know, all of a sudden, 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:47.800 my favorite movie star is going to show up my door. 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:49.920 I'm not talking about that kind of roses and butterflies. 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:53.320 I'm talking about seating the reality that you're already trying 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:56.840 to create, right, being grateful in advance for things that 0:02:56.919 --> 0:02:58.600 you want to show up in your life or that 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:00.720 you're committed to showing up in your life. And I 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:03.480 know that word manifestation is thrown around a lot, but 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:07.600 really what I believe in is the power of conscious creation. 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:10.480 Like you can create your life. And again, there's things 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:12.680 that are totally out of your control, but there's things 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:16.080 that you can absolutely influence. So, for example, one of 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:18.560 the main conversations I invite my clients into when they 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:20.960 first come to work with me is stepping into this 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:25.120 conversation of feeling freedom around food and freedom within their 0:03:25.160 --> 0:03:28.480 body and that self acceptance self image conversation. And to 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:31.079 them when they first meet me, it's like, LeAnn, that 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:32.840 sounds foreign to me. I don't even know what that 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.920 looks like. The concept of not dieting or not like 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:39.600 restricting or controlling or micromanaging what I eat sounds super 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:43.119 foreign and really scary. So they negatively anticipate it, right, 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:45.280 They negatively think like, oh my gosh, what's going to happen. 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.880 So we have to give them a new vision, a 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:50.000 positive anticipation, to replace the old. 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:50.320 Right. 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.160 And so, for example, when I talk about being grateful 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:55.600 in advance, so grateful in advance for what you're already 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:58.160 committed to. So if you are already committed to your freedom, 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:00.560 if you're already committed to stepping into a conversation of 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:04.040 self acceptance, an example simply just becomes I'm grateful in 0:04:04.080 --> 0:04:08.080 advance for my food freedom becoming more and more a 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:10.960 part of my brain every single day. I'm grateful in 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:15.120 advance for becoming the version of myself who practices less 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:18.800 self rejection and more self acceptance. So I'm meeting myself 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:21.520 in my doubt, but also bringing myself to belief and 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:25.440 seeding the reality. I'm creating it in advance by being 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:28.880 grateful in advance. Okay, so that's ways of being. But 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:32.160 also I know, for me, back before I met my husband, 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:34.000 when I was in the midst of my food and 0:04:34.040 --> 0:04:36.800 body struggles, I was grateful for things that had nothing 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:38.200 to do with food in my body as well. So 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:40.640 like I remember, I was grateful in advance for my 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:43.520 husband because he was doing the work on himself while 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:45.479 I was doing the work on myself too. And what 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:48.359 do you know, that's exactly what happened. My husband was 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.320 doing the work on himself, right. I remember being grateful 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:54.479 in advance for the women that needed me finding me, 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:56.760 and I swear the women that I work with, like 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.039 every single woman I work with, I'm like God put 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:01.440 them in my life, in their life for a reason. 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:04.520 It felt like this ordained thing. So it's not this 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:08.440 again magic wand magic, you know eight ball kind of 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.920 thing where you create everything and it magically happens and 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:14.240 the timing is not in your control. Sometimes you can 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:17.440 influence it more than others, but again it's about either 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:21.600 way you are positively anticipating your future or negatively anticipating 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.640 your future. It's happening either way. Most women are negatively 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.440 anticipating it. So that's why I just I and by 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.680 all my clients take radical ownership of that whatever you 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.560 have as a vision, bring it to reality, but by 0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:37.039 seeding it in your nervous system, creating the neuro associations, 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:39.279 so that when you do have it, it's actually a 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:42.240 part of your self image as well. Versus again, some 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:44.240 people create things and then they don't feel worthy of 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.800 having it and they end up unconsciously sabotaging it. So 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:50.839 this idea of being grateful in advance and creating your 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:54.760 life through grateful anticipation and bringing those visions to reality. 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:57.960 So that being said, Suzanne started to mention it a 0:05:58.000 --> 0:05:59.760 couple weeks ago when we were talking about owning your 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:02.200 work in the face of haters, and I just explained 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.400 the process, like it really is as simple as that, 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:07.440 like journaling I'm grateful in advance for I'm grateful in 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:11.080 advance that and also repetition, repetition, repetition, like I was 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:13.800 grateful in advance for my husband for years before I 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:17.159 met him. Right, But that being said, I want to 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:20.200 turn the microphone over to you, Suzanne, and can you 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:24.520 share a little bit about your experiences being grateful in advance, 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:28.400 how you created that grateful anticipation and brought some visions 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:31.480 in your life to reality. Let's just start the conversation there, 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:34.359 because there's so much we can unpack. Yeah. 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:39.599 I absolutely love this concept of being grateful in advance. 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.400 And you know, part of the journaling is looking back, 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:44.960 what are you grateful in your past and what are 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.160 you being grateful right now? And being grateful in advance 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:52.640 was a really new concept for me. And it's easy 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:56.320 to get stuck in fear and to go in that direction. 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:59.880 So this really helped me to start thinking in a 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:04.280 completely different way. I typically tend to be an optimistic person, 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:08.080 so being grateful in advance kind of matched up with 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:11.040 my internal wiring in a way that I didn't anticipate, 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:16.320 and it helped me to say, like, exactly what you said. 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.640 This is not like I'm going to win the lottery today, 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:21.320 but it helped me to say, like, what are the 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:25.280 things that I really really want to make true in 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:28.320 my life? And some of them were things like I 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:32.080 want to feel less tension in my body and I'm 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:34.240 going to be grateful in advance, that I find the 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:39.320 ways to allow myself to unwind or I want to 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:42.840 feel stronger. That helped me to identify, if I want 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:46.080 to feel I'm feeling grateful in advance for feeling stronger, 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:49.440 what does that look like for me? Is that physical strength? 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:52.240 Is it mental strength? Is it emotional strength? Like? What 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:56.000 does being stronger really look like? And it helped me 0:07:56.160 --> 0:08:00.160 to find that so that I could find ways my 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:05.120 life to exercise being stronger. And you know, one of 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:10.240 the things that was recurring in our conversations was about 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:16.560 allowing myself to love myself more and to offer love 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:22.120 and accept love. And that was a recurring theme in 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:25.840 my being grateful in advance. How I was going to 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:30.400 offer myself forgiveness, How I was offering myself compassion, How 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:35.040 I was celebrating the things that are unique to me, 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:39.800 all of my unique talents and gifts. How could I 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:42.760 be grateful in advance that I was letting my light 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:46.480 shine in a way that I hadn't permitted myself always 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:50.360 to do. And in doing that, I also started to 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:55.120 identify I hadn't dated in a while when we first 0:08:55.200 --> 0:08:59.400 started working together, and identifying like who do I want 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.600 to be a relationship And could I be grateful in 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:06.360 advance for the learning and the growing that I was 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:11.160 doing to prepare myself differently, to be ready to open 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:15.079 my heart and give love and accept love differently than 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:19.040 what I had been doing. And then I started identifying 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:22.640 what were qualities or characteristics that I would really want 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:26.840 in a romantic partnership. And truly, you know, part of 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:29.400 that was like, I'm looking for a partnership, and I'm 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:34.440 looking for somebody who is a great conversationalist and is 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.240 funny and kind and thoughtful and loving and consider it 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:41.720 and you know, and I was clearly articulating what I 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:45.000 was going to be grateful in advance for finding in 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:47.720 a partner and what did what did that look like? 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.080 What would feel really good for me? And it was 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:56.840 wonderful to think about finding those qualities, and that grateful 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:59.600 in advance helped me also to think through what would 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:03.240 I really want to have happen and make happen in 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:07.240 my life and make myself open and vulnerable to happening 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:11.960 in my life. It unfolded those pages for me in 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:16.440 a way that I hadn't allowed myself to think about 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:20.120 and It really did bring joy in anticipating all of 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:24.240 these great things in life are still out there to 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:29.559 be had and to experience and to create for myself, 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:35.760 and writing it down gave me you talk about breadcrumbs, 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:38.720 gave me the pieces to be able to go back 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:42.000 to at times when I needed a little boost in 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:47.160 self and put myself redirected on this path of learning 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:53.280 and growing and ended up really being this documentation for 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:58.040 myself of my own growth. And it came the documentation 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:00.600 of what it was that I said I wanted in 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:04.120 my life. So when it showed up, I recognized it 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:07.120 and was able to go back and say, oh, my goodness, 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:10.160 Like I was grateful in advance for all of these things, 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:13.120 and look how beautifully they showed up in my life. 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:17.200 Oh my gosh. You said so many important things, but 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:24.240 a couple things I just wanted to touch on. You know, 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:27.880 we talk about the specificity of what you're being grateful 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:29.840 in advanced for, and yes, you can be grateful for 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.119 your past, you can be grateful for your presence. Specifically, 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.120 we're talking about how to see this in your nervous 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.720 system so that you can you said it best, like 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:39.240 almost recognize it when it does appear because a lot 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:41.080 of times we have a bit of an identity crisis 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:43.680 if we don't like our self image hasn't played catch up. Right. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:46.360 It's one of the reasons that I lost so much 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:49.120 weight and then I still my self image still perceived 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:51.320 me as air quotes fat because that's the word I 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:53.200 was using, that's the word I had been practicing, and 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:56.040 that's the identity I created because I didn't teach my 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:59.120 brain how to receive feeling comfortable in my body and 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:02.240 calm in my body and comfortable in my own skin. 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:05.160 And I didn't teach my nervousness and the concept of 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:08.560 having a beautiful relationship with food and a beautiful relationship 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:10.840 with my body independent of appearance. So there's all of 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:13.360 those things that you can see in advance when you 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:16.240 are healing your relationship with food and your body. But 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.080 then there's also all this crossover, like it's not just 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:21.880 one dimensional, it's three dimensional. So first and foremost there's 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:24.840 the specificity factor. You really want to become grateful in 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.400 advance for specific So it's not like I'm grateful in 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:30.720 advance that I'm happy, right, I'm grateful in advance that 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:32.880 I'm peaceful and calm when I get out of bed 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.200 in the morning, or I know how to get myself 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:38.440 there right, and like, you're getting really nitty gritty specific. 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:41.760 So first and foremost, just to clarify, when Susanne and 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:43.640 I first met, what was it like? Had it been 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:45.640 like a decade? I think since you dated. 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:47.839 It had been quite a while. Yeah. I had had 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:53.200 some female health issues that had made me really feel 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:56.680 closed off and not want to spend my time and 0:12:56.840 --> 0:13:00.720 resources searching for a romantic part or that was part 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:04.360 of what I didn't want to spend my time in. 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:08.320 And I was feeling really great about myself. So in 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.120 order to have the type of relationship that I wanted, 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:14.839 that I needed to grow and learn my own self 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:19.360 forgiveness and self compassion and self endorsement and self love 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.640 so that I could offer to somebody else the kind 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:24.440 of love that I wanted to be able to track 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:25.560 back for myself. 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.360 Absolutely. Yeah, that was one of the first things that 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.040 we talked about. Not one of the first things, but 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:32.000 on our first call, I remember you said, like, Yeah, 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:33.640 one of the things I want most in this world 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.120 is to find love and companionship and have it be 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.720 in an amazing relationship, but you were very aware that 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.480 you needed to learn how to love and create that 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:45.439 for yourself first. And I was when you said that, 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:47.520 I was like, yes and amen, because so many people 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:49.640 think that the relationship is going to air quotes fix them, 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:51.520 or that's going to make them feel that way. So 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:53.400 that was one of the first things I remember you 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.680 reverse engineered, was like feeling worthiness of being love, like 0:13:56.720 --> 0:14:00.319 feeling worthy of receiving that love from others. Right, yes, way, 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:03.600 I'll link in the show notes Suzanne's testimony and story. 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:05.920 Did an interview a couple of years back where we 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:07.800 share a little bit more of that. There's actually a 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.040 part one and a part two, but it's so interesting 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:12.680 because I share a lot of what I've been through myself, 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:14.679 and like I said, this was my biggest kryptonite too, 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:16.920 was like not feeling worthy of love and receiving that. 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:21.240 And I did my own reverse engineering. And by the way, repetition, repetition, repetition. 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.240 I said it before, but like sometimes we need to 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:26.920 keep seeding something into our reality. And I remember, and 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:29.920 this is where that crossover conversation comes, Like, yes, I 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:32.920 made a grateful and advanced kind of declaration to myself 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:36.320 about attracting my husband into my life after I had obviously, 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:38.880 like just like Suzanne, first and foremost, I went through 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:41.440 the process of feeling worthy of receiving that, and then 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:43.800 I declared, Okay, what do I want to create to 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:44.640 receive it from others? 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:44.880 Right? 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.200 Just like Suzanne had shared, it needed to be both. 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.920 But it's interesting because my crossover or my list so 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:54.200 to speak, included things about my body, like somebody that 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:58.360 understood that I had a complicated relationship with my body 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.800 and that loved and appreciated my body as much as 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:02.840 I did. Like things like that that I would have 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:08.400 never known to even put in my relationship conversation because 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:10.360 I still was kind of in the dark when it 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:13.000 came to my own body stuff. And fun little fact 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:16.640 my husband and I we did. He's a very private person. 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:20.400 I can be very private personally. Obviously professionally I'm pretty 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:23.000 out out there. But we didn't want to do our 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:26.000 vowels in front of everyone at our wedding, so we 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:29.160 did something called vow Night where we exchanged vowels a 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:33.280 couple of nights before our wedding, and interestingly enough, my 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:36.840 list or my grateful in advance almost became part of 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:40.440 my vowels to him, because again, like Susanna was saying, 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:44.920 it's almost like written declaration of who I became and 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:46.920 who I was becoming, and a lot of it wasn't 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:49.240 there in the present. I was creating it and stepping 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.200 into it little by a little, piece by piece. It 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:54.480 was its gradual thing. But then it literally stood as 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:58.200 again like a written document and documentation of what I 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.320 had declared and what I was now also in inviting 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:04.160 him into and us into in our marriage. And so 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.120 I know, something kind of similar happened with you where 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:08.600 you look back at your list and you're like, oh 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:11.880 my gosh. So spoiler alert, Suzanne put herself out there. 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.440 She really feeled her relationship with herself, with her body, 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.040 and it's a dot dot dot continuing journey, just like 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.800 it is for all of us. But she did eventually 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:23.760 attract love and an amazing partner in her life. So 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:26.680 can you share a little bit about how like specificity 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:30.160 and writing it down in the documentation really did transfer 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:31.560 over to real life for you too. 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:35.400 Yeah, it was so amazing. It was within the first 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:39.200 year of having worked with you that I was doing 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:44.720 a lot of growth and learning and self acceptance and 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:49.120 really being specific about what did I want my life 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.640 to look like and what did I want in this 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:55.920 great partnership and how I could invite love into my life. 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:59.560 And you know, was very grateful that I met somebody, 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:03.240 and you know, we were dating for a couple of 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:07.280 weeks when I decided to go back through my journal 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:11.720 and circle the qualities that I had said that I 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:15.160 was looking for in a partner. And first of all, 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:18.560 I loved that I had this written account of what 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:21.719 I had declared that I wanted in my life and 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.880 that I was being grateful in advance for having it. 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:28.680 And it was so wonderful to circle every single thing 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.280 that I had said about a future partner and see 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:33.640 that all of those qualities had shown up in this 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:37.280 person that I met. It really, you know, reinforced me. 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:41.160 Like when you're specific in that way, it does help 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:45.200 you to recognize when it is there, because we can 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.440 go through life and just not be paying attention and 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:51.320 being able to reflect back and then see it actually 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:55.480 showing up was truly so remarkable. And that has happened 0:17:55.680 --> 0:18:00.600 in addition to romantic love. It's happened in and the 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:04.240 ways that I love myself too. Before I was as 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:08.600 accepting of who I am and appreciating who I am, 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:13.200 I was being grateful in advance for the day when 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.679 I felt that way, when I felt more comfortable in 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:18.400 my own body, and it had nothing to do with 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:22.639 shape or size, but everything to do with just acceptance. 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:25.480 And that is one of the things that I'm most 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:31.639 grateful for learning for myself has been acceptance and self 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:34.200 love so that it's opened my heart to be able 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:38.960 to give love differently and receive love in a much 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:41.200 more profound and special way. 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.439 Oh so good, so good, And yeah, it is like 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:47.120 a skill set once you learn the skill set of creation. 0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:50.000 Because again I'm here to remind you and there's no 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:53.640 shame either way, whichever camp you're in, but you're creating it. 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:57.960 Either way. You're either positively anticipating or negatively anticipating your 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:01.199 future and creating more of it least like blocking the 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:04.160 good from coming in or creating that resistance in your 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:07.080 nervous system. Right, it's literally a neurological state. And speaking 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:08.840 of that, you know a lot of people are like, well, 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:10.080 leanne can I just think it? 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:10.239 Can? 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:11.919 I just like think about it when I'm in the shower. 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:13.399 Can I just think about it when I'm on the 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:15.760 drive to work, And the answer is yes, you absolutely can. 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:19.600 But there's an extra level of neuro associative properties that 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:23.159 takes place. It's almost like more potent when you're writing 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:25.520 it down because you're also thinking it. But then there 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:28.679 is that there's like a tactile representation. It also like 0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:31.560 kind of slows you down you're writing it. There's just 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:35.360 a different sensory experience, A multiplication factor kind of takes 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:38.400 place when you're writing it down. But then also it's 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:40.359 the gift that keeps on giving. Just like Suzanne said, 0:19:40.359 --> 0:19:43.119 she now has something she can look back on and 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:46.520 you can update it, you can continue integrating it. But 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:49.760 then also it's literally like a mirror of what you declared, 0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:51.800 and it's a gift. So I definitely it's not that 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:54.920 you can't think about it. It will have power, for sure, 0:19:55.240 --> 0:19:57.160 but it's going to be that much more powerful if 0:19:57.200 --> 0:19:58.320 you also write it down. 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:01.040 Yeah, it was fun when you showed up and I 0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:03.800 was able to go back and say, oh my gosh, 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:07.320 he showed up exactly the way that I identified that 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:09.240 I wanted somebody to show up. 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:12.520 Yes, absolutely, and first and foremost, I just want to 0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:18.480 emphasize this. You were grateful in anticipation, right, for loving 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:21.800 yourself and that radical self acceptance before you could receive 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:25.359 it from others, specifically him, right, And then you took 0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:27.920 that and you put the power of specificity and writing 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:31.720 it down into practice, right, And then he showed up. 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:35.359 But so not only were you ready and your your mind, 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:37.600 your head, your heart, your nervous system was ready, willing 0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:40.720 and able to receive it, but then also recognize it like, no, 0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:42.600 this is exactly what I want and what I created. 0:20:42.640 --> 0:20:45.160 There was no confusion and really be able to bask 0:20:45.200 --> 0:20:47.719 in it. And this is it. It's transferable into every 0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:49.760 area of life, guys, for real. 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:53.600 I have seen it come to life in other relationships 0:20:53.640 --> 0:20:56.399 and in other areas of my life. And to be 0:20:56.440 --> 0:20:59.320 able to look back just say, oh, I asked for 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:03.280 abundance in this area and it has shown up. Has 0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:07.160 been so wonderful, And I think part of what I 0:21:07.240 --> 0:21:10.880 enjoy about this practice. There's so many things I enjoy 0:21:10.920 --> 0:21:13.480 about this practice. But somebody had taught me a long 0:21:13.520 --> 0:21:17.040 time ago that an experience without reflection is only half 0:21:17.080 --> 0:21:20.439