WEBVTT - "I'M ADDICTED TO MY CAT'S BREATH" 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.920 Hey, is this Jay Jay? What's going on with you? 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:04.000 What are you up to? 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:09.800 So? Yeah, there were some things that I've done as 0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:16.200 a child, like to get over and forgive myself for 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:17.799 for a long time, but it's been hard. 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:22.079 Okay. So you did some things as a child and 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:27.280 you're trying to forgive yourself for them. Listen throughout urs call. 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:28.800 You don't have to tell me what those things are. 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:35.280 But how old were you when you did them? 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:41.960 I'd say younger than twelve? Around twelve is when it stopped. 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.199 Okay. So you did some things as a child when 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:49.800 you were around twelve, and you're having trouble forgiving yourself. 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:53.840 Why do you believe you're having trouble forgiving yourself? 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:00.960 It's so fucked up shit, I don't know. 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:06.400 Is is this something you've ever talked to a real 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:09.600 therapist about? 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:11.560 No, I've never told anybody else. 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.000 You never told anybody about this stuff? 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:18.440 No, I don't know. It's way too like heavy. 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:22.640 Okay. And this was when you were when you were 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:23.399 twelve years old? 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:25.720 Yeah? 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:26.280 Wrong, man? 0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:32.840 Okay? And how old are you now? I'm Sony Files, 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:43.280 you're twenty five. What do you do now with your life. 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:49.360 Other than working at a dog daycare now much, man, 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:50.800 I'm just trunning in my life together. 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:58.240 Okay. I mean, listen, man, you know the nature of 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:02.760 what you did. Do you feel as though there's anything 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:09.400 that you can do in your adult life to kind 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:18.400 of offset what you have done in the past or 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:25.639 kind of help yourself contribute to a solution to any 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:27.640 problems you feel you might have caused. 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:36.920 That's the well. Yeah, I'd love to end up helping 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:42.520 people who like struggled with the same things I have. Yeah, 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:47.360 and like be a guidance that people dealt with some 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:50.640 of the things I have and help some of the 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:58.119 people that I guess need it because I don't know, ma'am. 0:02:59.520 --> 0:03:02.920 I'm doing it's all by myself, so I just I 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:06.120 know how hard it is. So I just love to 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:09.320 be there and help others. 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:10.080 M hm. 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:14.640 When you say you're doing this all by yourself, no, no, no, 0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:16.760 it's okay, man. I mean when you say you're doing 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:21.120 this all by yourself, what do you think would help you? 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:23.960 I mean, do you do you do you have friends 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:31.480 or family or significant other or any you know, professional 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:35.960 resources that they not have tapped into and any of 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:36.480 any of that. 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:42.200 Definitely never seen a therapist or anything like that. So 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:46.600 other than that, not really stuff I want to be 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:50.240 talking of family about because I feel like there's no 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:51.960 real understanding that. 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:58.840 Okay, okay, do you do you have the means to 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:01.520 go see a therapist? 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.400 Can you explain what means being sorry? 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.760 Like, uh, you know, I mean, look, it can be 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:11.440 it can be kind of a difficult thing. I know 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:19.120 that there's kind of various ways for people who feel 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:22.680 like they cannot afford it or find it to get well. 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.479 I have to talk about this, and I just I 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:27.760 just never try it, honestly. 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:30.440 Okay, because I look, again, I don't know what you did, 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:34.480 but it sounds as though you're beaten up about the 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:36.440 fact that you're well. It sounds as though you're beaten 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:39.760 up about the fact that you haven't even talked about 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:44.280 it with anyone or been able to process it. And 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:48.320 and you've been carrying it for thirteen years, you know, 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.080 and and and I feel like it would be helpful 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:54.720 for you to, you know, talk about it. 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:00.479 Yeah, just talking to you now is like helped me 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:06.560 to realize like how deep it is. So thank you 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:07.320 for packing up. 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:17.240 Man, for sure, Jay, I mean this idea of you 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:21.960 kind of accepting whatever it is. I mean, listen, I 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:24.520 don't know what you did when you were twelve, and 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:32.000 I'm imagining to me even the most horrible thing. I 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:35.200 I mean, if you were twelve years old, I don't 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:38.400 know what your upbringing was, I don't know what your 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:47.520 environment was like. But I can't imagine whatever it is 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:50.120 that that that that you did when you were twelve 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:57.760 to to to be affecting you, to to to be 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:05.640 justifiably defining your life for the rest of your days. Yeah, 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:08.680 and I don't. I don't think it should and I 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:10.280 don't even I don't even know what it is. 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:12.520 Uh, I agree with that. 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:14.760 I don't think it should define. 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:18.000 Can share your life, but if you'd rather me not share, 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:18.640 that's fine. 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:21.520 I don't think I don't think you should talk about 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:23.039 it on here. I think if this is something that 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.840 you haven't talked to with anyone about, I think you 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:27.919 should go and find a find a real therapist to 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:28.800 talk to about. 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:31.119 It, for sure. 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:35.000 But I don't think it should be something that defines 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:38.160 your life, because I mean, look, I'm talking to you 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:44.120 right now, you're twenty five. You as it stands currently 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:51.640 in the present, I have a desire to do good, 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.320 have a desire to help people, just like you said. 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:58.440 Just like you said, you have a desire to help 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:03.360 people who are struggling with things that you say you've 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:08.240 struggled with throughout your life. And so I think to 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:13.680 negate and throw away you as a person just because 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:16.080 of something you did when you were twelve, whatever it was, 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:22.560 would would be a waste of this positive energy that 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:27.000 you have that you desire to throw out there. I'll 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:31.440 say that much. And I think I think you should go. 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:34.640 I think you should go try to find a person 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:35.680 to talk through this with. 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:38.560 Yeah. 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:42.400 The only thing that's like held me from like seeking 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:48.880 help is just the fact that knowing that I'd probably 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:51.880 have to go through several therapists to find one that 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:52.600 I really liked. 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:55.040 Yeah, for sure, I've had a lot of people say 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:57.880 that that, you know, they had to they had to 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:00.240 kind of cycle through a whole bunch of people to 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:03.760 find someone that they, you know, trust and feel connected with. 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:11.640 As well as the other thing being that I don't 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:15.640 want to go see help when they throw me on mets, 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:18.800 so I'd just rather deal with the stuff on my own. 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:23.240 M How are you feeling right now, Jay? 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:23.360 You. 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:29.680 Okay, Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking about that a little bit, 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:33.199 bout some emotions up, but I'm getting over it. 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:38.080 Mmm. I'm you know, I'll say it again. I think 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:46.480 my main thesis here is that you have, like I said, 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:49.959 a positive intention with your life right now, and I 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:53.040 don't think you should throw that away because of you know, 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:55.720 whatever you did, whatever your life was like when you 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:56.240 were twelve. 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:02.760 Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go see some help. 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:07.880 Okay, good man. Is there anything else that you want 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:10.440 to say to people of the computer, or that you 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:12.839 wanted to say to me, or that you feel like 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:13.400 we didn't cover. 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:18.640 I'm sure there's a ton right now I'm blanking, But 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:21.680 to the viewers, if anybody's out there shogging or something, 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:25.360 I'm just want you to know that everything will pass. 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:29.440 You just got to ride the wave and keep fighting. 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:36.400 Hey, thank you for calling jam nice talking night. Man. 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.760 I like Jay. He's a good guy. I didn't want him. 0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:48.480 I don't know what he did. I'm not even going 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:53.319 to try to guess or imagine. I mean, look, if 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:59.880 the guy was twelve, and if the guy you know, 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:03.199 felt as though he was struggling with things in his 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:09.040 life or had a childhood that was not great. I 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:13.160 don't I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:19.200 but I am confident that who he is now in 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:26.160 the present is someone who wants to do good. And 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:29.920 I hope he does that because that's only really a 0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:34.680 net positive for society if he does. And I hope 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:39.520 he finds some kind of a help and way to 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:50.560 talk through that stuff. Hello. Hello, Hi, who is this? 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:53.160 You're talking to Tony? 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:56.200 I'm talking to Tony. What's going on? Tony? 0:10:58.000 --> 0:10:58.120 Now? 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:00.000 That's Tony mcarniy is the who name? 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:07.160 Tony Mcaroni? Yep, So Tony Macaroni? What's go? What's going 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:07.560 on with you? 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:08.800 Yeah? 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:10.280 Just eating eating? 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.120 Man, you're eating? What are you eating? 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:15.520 Cheeseburgers? 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:18.520 You're eating cheese? But how many cheeseburgers are you eating? 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:20.720 I got? 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:22.920 You have a few? How many is a few? I 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:24.840 feel like when people say a few, they mean at 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:25.520 least three. 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:30.600 I mean, I got, I got at least six. 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:35.839 Six is not a few? Six is I would I 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:38.880 don't know if I would consider that several. I wouldn't 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:40.640 consider it a handful because they're a little bit big 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:44.200 for the hand. But I think six several I would 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:48.040 say I I would say six is right on the 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.400 line of being several. I feel like seven would be 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:53.840 several because they both have the set. But six is 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:55.600 close to several cheeseburgers. 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:00.640 Yeah, I mean, you know wrong, man. 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:03.800 Look, I just went I just went down to the 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.560 cheeseburger store and I ordered some cheeseburgers. They handed me 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.760 a bag, and I'll eat cheeseburgers. 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:14.400 What do you mean the cheeseburger store? Is it called that? 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:21.000 Yeah? If you go down and get the cheeseburger, do. 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:23.680 They have anything else? Do they have chicken sandwiches or 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:26.319 fries or strictly cheese. 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:28.880 Cheeseburgers? 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:33.160 Okay? How often do you do visit the cheeseburger store? 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:37.320 A few times? 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:42.320 Once or twice, once or twice a day a week, 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:42.920 a month. 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:48.240 I don't know, man, probably a day. 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.800 Once a day. Okay. What so, Tony, When you're not 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:59.400 eating cheeseburgers, Tony, So, Tony Macaronie, When you're not eating cheeseburgers, 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:00.560 what do you do with your your life? 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:04.440 I'm usually just sitting there staring at the wall. 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:07.679 You sit and you stare at the wall. When you 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.080 sit and you stare at the wall. What do you 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:10.720 think about? 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:13.920 Think about cheeseburgers? 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:18.480 Man, you think about cheeseburgers. So you're telling me, Tony Macaroni, 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:29.240 that you are either eating cheeseburgers or thinking about them, yes, constantly? Okay? 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.080 Uh do you work? Do you go to school? How 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.360 do you make money to buy these cheeseburgers? 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:40.320 I don't know. 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.680 I gotta go, though, I think you don't know. 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:43.959 You don't. You don't have to know. You know, you 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:48.360 don't have Tony. You don't have to go, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:52.240 you are Tony. You do not have to go. We're 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:56.080 gonna We're gonna keep I'm not letting you. Don't be 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:58.800 a coward. Tony, sit in this with me. You have 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.880 created this, and you need to answer for this. 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:03.120 Okay. 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.400 You cannot just bail You cannot bail yourself out of this. 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:08.080 You cannot bail yourself out of this by saying you 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:11.080 have to go. Just Tony, for once in your life, 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:14.920 don't abandon a thing that you've created. Sit in it, 0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:18.400 see where it goes. It could this could turn into 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.640 something productive, Tony, if you just just don't abandon it. Okay, 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:24.040 will you agree to that. 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:26.480 I gotta go, man. 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:29.480 I know you, Tony. You don't have to go, Tony, 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:32.560 you do not have to go. Just you created this situation. 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:38.560 And I am telling you. He hung up. It could 0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:43.080 have gone somewhere. Folks, listen if you he bailed out. 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.440 He got scared and he bailed out. Why would you 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:49.560 do that, Tony, because you ran out of stuff. You. 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:53.080 Here's what Here's exactly what happened. Tony called in. I 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.200 don't whatever his name was. He called in with a 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:59.800 fake thing, and he was really nervous. And I s 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.680 sarted asking him questions about his fake thing, and he 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:06.240 kind of and he did have answers, but he knew 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.480 that he could only answer my questions with his fake 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:14.800 answers for so long before he would have to, like 0:15:14.920 --> 0:15:18.000 be pressed to think of more things. And that scared him, 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:22.880 and so he bailed. And it's so it's sad to 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:29.840 me because he it was such a play of low 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:37.640 confidence when he could have just sat in it. And 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:43.920 maybe if he stayed for a little bit longer than 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:47.640 when he wanted to bail, we could have gotten something interesting. 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:52.280 He could have learned about himself. Maybe he would tell 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.960 me what his actual name was. Maybe we could have 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:59.440 gotten him to speak about whatever's going on in his life. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.440 I don't. I don't know what would have happened. I 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:06.240 never will. He never will because he got scared and 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:09.720 he bailed. If you're listening to this, folks, don't get 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:14.840 scared and bailed. Just sitting it. It's all you feel 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:20.120 a little bit nervous for a second. It's fine if 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:23.640 you don't know what you're gonna say next Tony, but 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:29.520 just commit because you don't know what will happen. I 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:34.960 hope he calls back one day. I really do. Hello, Hello, 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:36.840 how are you? 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:40.000 Is this? 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:40.360 Gek? 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:48.400 Yeah? Who is this? I'm drib drib what's going on? 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:52.720 Drib nothing? 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:58.600 I'm just watching your streams? 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:02.840 Somebody? Are you? Where are you right now? Are here knocking? 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:04.320 And all kinds of stuff? 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:09.600 Yeah? Those are my brother knocking my door. I'm sorry, No. 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:10.119 What is it? 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:10.919 Should you open it? 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:11.159 Does he? 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:12.840 How do? Maybe he's in pain? 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:16.600 No, he came in here to get the bomb. 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:22.000 He came in here to get the bong. Yeah, are 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:23.359 you are you high right now? 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:25.480 No? I'm not. 0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:28.440 Going to And then I was like. 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:34.120 No, okay, I mean I feel like that's a good decision. 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:36.600 I don't get high while I'm doing this, because if 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:39.040 I were high while I'm doing this, I'd be I 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:42.479 would be double thinking about everything that I say. And 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:44.919 I feel like, to talk on a thing, you have 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:48.840 to be able to just say stuff without even without 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:52.440 even thinking about it, you know, or you get too anxious. 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.919 All right, driblet's is there anything in particular that you 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:59.119 called into to talk about? 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:10.320 Well, I was gonna tell a story about my dad 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:16.320 and stepmom that happened. They kind of kicked me out. 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:19.480 They kicked you out? What did they kick you out for? 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:28.760 So it was like a really like minor thing, but 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:35.080 it just got escalated into a huge thing. I was 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:40.760 never like best friends with my stepmom, and so I 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:43.960 one day like got into a little argument with her, 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:51.040 and it escalated pretty quickly because we were both kind 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:58.120 of childish and she was like in my face and 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:03.280 I didn't like that. So I took like my fingers 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.480 and like pushed your back a little. Like you pushed 0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:10.000 isn't even like a right word, because I mean what I. 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:12.760 Mean, drip, What what was it that you guys were 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:14.720 fighting about? Initially? What was the minor thing? 0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:24.320 My my dad earlier that morning was gonna let my 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.640 brothers stay home from school because I asked him too, 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:35.160 because my brother wasn't feeling well. And yeah, my dad 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:37.880 basically lied and was like, oh, I never said that, 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:42.639 and so my stepmom was to wake him up. 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:45.800 That's kind of that's kind of that's that's nice of 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:51.000 you to, uh, my guess act on behalf of your brother. 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:53.600 It sounds like, you know, between that and the bong, 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:55.160 you guys have a good relationship. 0:19:57.280 --> 0:19:59.560 Yeah, for sure. 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:01.679 Kay, your step mom goes to wake up the brother, 0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:04.760 You're like, oh, he was supposed to stay home from school, 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:07.720 blah blah blah. It's kind of a minor thing. You 0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:12.480 kind of push your step mom. Things get mildly physical. 0:20:13.080 --> 0:20:16.120 What how does this? How does this tumble? 0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:25.960 Well? I guess later on that day, without my knowledge, 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:37.399 she contacted the police. Oh really, and yeah, and they 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:42.560 like put a warrant out for me. But even before 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:47.320 like so it was a private warrant, so it wasn't 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:52.000 really public at the time, And before they even sought 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:55.199 out the warrant, my dad, without even talking to me 0:20:55.240 --> 0:20:59.679 about what happened, he basically was like, gonna send me 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:05.240 to a homeless shelter, and can. 0:21:05.119 --> 0:21:08.119 I ask what the deal is with your mother? 0:21:10.680 --> 0:21:16.840 She they're divorced and my mom had a boyfriend at 0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:21.960 the time that none of my siblings were really fond of, 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:26.320 so we barely went over to her house at all. 0:21:27.160 --> 0:21:33.159 Okay, So did your father and stepmom eventually end up 0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:33.840 kicking you out? 0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:39.000 Well, they brought up the homeless shelter thing to me, 0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:44.200 and before they could take me there, I ran away. Yeah, 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:48.920 and my sister picked me up, and then I was 0:21:49.240 --> 0:21:50.480 arrested at her house. 0:21:51.920 --> 0:22:01.679 Arrested at your sister's house for years for shoving your stepmom. Yes, wow, Okay, 0:22:01.760 --> 0:22:04.720 so they did they take you down to the station. 0:22:07.160 --> 0:22:11.120 Yeah. I stayed in a holding block for twelve hours 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:15.840 because it was considered as domessive violence case. And then 0:22:15.920 --> 0:22:18.640 my mom bailed me out and got me that night. 0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:25.880 Wow. So when was this? 0:22:25.880 --> 0:22:29.320 This was a year ago, but I've like, as of 0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:33.600 this year, a couple months ago, it's just gotten results 0:22:33.880 --> 0:22:34.879 in court. 0:22:35.840 --> 0:22:40.520 Really, so your mom picks you up and then how 0:22:40.680 --> 0:22:43.639 soon after that do you see your stepmom and father again? 0:22:46.400 --> 0:22:53.960 So they also got a temporary order of protection so 0:22:55.680 --> 0:22:58.920 I wasn't allowed to see them or contact them or 0:22:58.960 --> 0:23:05.600 even like relay a message through somebody really mm hmm. 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:10.200 And honestly, I don't want to speak to the middle 0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:12.399 so I'm not really upset about that. 0:23:13.160 --> 0:23:15.760 So have you? Okay? So are you? So you haven't 0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:17.760 spoken to them since this happened? 0:23:19.359 --> 0:23:20.159 No? I haven't. 0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:28.120 Wow. And your father was on board. It sounded as 0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:31.240 though your step mom was kind of the pilot for 0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:35.320 all of this and and was your father on board 0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:37.760 for all of her decisions. 0:23:40.920 --> 0:23:45.960 Yeah, I honestly think my dad kind of planted this 0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:48.440 seed in her head to get me arrested. 0:23:50.680 --> 0:23:56.840 But now your brother was living with your stepfather and 0:23:56.880 --> 0:24:03.240 mother too, right, yes, And have you gotten any information 0:24:03.440 --> 0:24:08.440 about them or from them or anything like that via him? 0:24:10.840 --> 0:24:16.120 No, he doesn't. He doesn't want to speak to them 0:24:16.160 --> 0:24:22.760 either because he was obviously on my side and that 0:24:22.960 --> 0:24:25.560 made them mad. So they kicked him out too, and. 0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:27.800 He wow, yeah. 0:24:27.920 --> 0:24:31.879 Yeah. They took like all of his stuff, like his clothes, 0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:35.400 his computer, They took all of his posters off his wall. 0:24:37.680 --> 0:24:39.480 They just took it. He hasn't gotten it back yet. 0:24:41.560 --> 0:24:46.240 No. There were some things that they left outside, like 0:24:46.280 --> 0:24:50.360 on a curb for him, but the majority of it 0:24:50.480 --> 0:24:52.160 they just sold I. 0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:55.479 Guess where are you living now? Are you with your 0:24:55.520 --> 0:24:57.280 parents or are you on your own? I mean with your 0:24:57.400 --> 0:24:58.440 mom or on your own. 0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:02.520 With my mom and my brother right now? 0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:06.520 Okay, is she still dating that guy that was kind 0:25:06.520 --> 0:25:07.560 of keeping you away from there? 0:25:09.600 --> 0:25:13.600 No, he's long gone. I would convince her to like 0:25:16.760 --> 0:25:20.240 he was like, okay, being not being fond of him 0:25:20.320 --> 0:25:25.800 is like lightly, he was kind of like he This 0:25:25.920 --> 0:25:29.960 sounds like okay, whatever. He was like running from a 0:25:30.080 --> 0:25:35.959 warrant for like eleven years of like an attempted murder charge. 0:25:37.000 --> 0:25:40.560 Ah, that you know what, that's a red flag, I 0:25:40.600 --> 0:25:47.320 would say in my in my hot dating advice, I 0:25:47.359 --> 0:25:51.000 would say running from a warrant for eleven years is 0:25:51.040 --> 0:25:52.280 a red flag. 0:25:54.400 --> 0:25:54.919 For sure. 0:25:56.160 --> 0:26:01.560 Okay, So how is how is living with your mom? 0:26:01.680 --> 0:26:06.520 It's pretty It's way better. My dad was kind of 0:26:06.600 --> 0:26:12.959 like a dictator. They were kind of like evangelist type people, 0:26:13.560 --> 0:26:18.040 super Christian in my mom's really chill. 0:26:19.800 --> 0:26:21.959 Yeah. I was kind of curious because you started your 0:26:22.000 --> 0:26:29.560 story at you getting disowned, and I'm curious what your 0:26:29.600 --> 0:26:35.600 relationship was like with him just throughout your life while 0:26:35.640 --> 0:26:39.080 you were growing up. If this was kind of like 0:26:40.080 --> 0:26:41.919 you know, if it was just years and years and 0:26:42.000 --> 0:26:44.760 years and years leading up to this, or was he 0:26:44.880 --> 0:26:50.199 cool and then stepmom came in and you know, brainwashed 0:26:50.280 --> 0:26:52.920 him or whatever? It is, Like, how do you feel 0:26:53.000 --> 0:27:03.520 as though the situation escalated to that point. 0:27:02.200 --> 0:27:10.080 He has I wouldn't say that he would get brainwashed. 0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:14.200 He's more of the person to do that to somebody else. 0:27:15.560 --> 0:27:22.080 And he's kind of not emotionally involved in anything. So 0:27:23.040 --> 0:27:26.880 we were close when I was a kid, but when 0:27:26.920 --> 0:27:30.679 I started growing up, like when I reached twelve, I 0:27:30.920 --> 0:27:36.439 just realized that he didn't really care. So it was 0:27:36.600 --> 0:27:40.159 kind of like an awkward tension of me not like 0:27:40.280 --> 0:27:43.840