1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry letter to Steve ARVEFM dot com. We 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air, just 5 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,919 Speaker 1: like we're going to read this one right here, right now, 6 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours. It could 7 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: be yours, ladies, gym, is time for a Strawberry letter. 8 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: My good friend, Shirley straw Berry. Thank you, my good 9 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 1: friend Junior. Subject smoke and Mirrors. Dear Stephen, Shirley, I'm 10 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 1: in a long distance relationship with a man that my 11 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: daughter hooked me up with. He's a bodybuilder, and my 12 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: daughter met him at her gym. She said. She was 13 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: looking in the mirror working out when he came and 14 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: stood in front of her to see himself in the mirror. 15 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: She said, Other than being vain, he's extremely quiet and nerdy. 16 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: He and I talked a lot in the beginning, and 17 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: it was fun to have someone to talk to. I 18 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: overlooked the fact that every time we talked he was 19 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: smoking weed, or had just had some weed, or was 20 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,759 Speaker 1: planning to smoke weed at any minute. After a few 21 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: months of doing video chats he wanted to see me. 22 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: I told him he could come visit me at my house, 23 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 1: but he insisted that I come visit him, especially since 24 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: my daughter lives in the same city. He bought me 25 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: a ticket and asked me to stay at his house. 26 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: I planned to stay in his guest room, but I 27 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: left after he told me what he had planned for 28 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: the weekend. As he showed me around his house, I 29 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: saw condoms on his nightstand and I was totally turned 30 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 1: off by the floor to ceiling mirrors in his bedroom. 31 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: He asked what I was into sexually, and I was 32 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 1: shocked because we'd never talked about fetishes and role playing. 33 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: He told me what he wanted to do to me sexually, 34 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: and he said we could watch ourselves in the mirrors 35 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: while we did it. I got an uber right away 36 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: and went to my daughter's apartment. He hasn't called or 37 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: texted me since, but he told my daughter I am 38 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: too shy and hard to get along with. Should I 39 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: explain the smoke and mirrors to my daughter or let 40 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: her keep thinking that the breakup was all my fault? 41 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: Please help? Who cares what he says? That's what I say? 42 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,239 Speaker 1: Who cares? And Why do you feel compelled to tell 43 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: your daughter anything because she introduced you to this loser. 44 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: That still doesn't make you obligate it. It's simply not 45 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: her business. You can just say that it didn't work 46 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: out and keep it moving. What I don't get is 47 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: why you didn't stay at your daughter's house instead of 48 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,359 Speaker 1: what the man you hardly knew. I mean, you say 49 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,119 Speaker 1: you're in a long distance relationship with him, but you're 50 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,119 Speaker 1: not in it. You just talked to this guy. You're 51 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: not in a relationship with this man. You know. You 52 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 1: only know a couple of things about this guy. One 53 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 1: is Eddie smokes weed all of the time. Your daughter's 54 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 1: house would have been the choice. That would have been 55 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: a safer, smarter situation for you to be in since 56 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: you were traveling, And I'm glad you got out of 57 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: this house when you did, because that could have been 58 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: it could have worked out crazy for you, could have 59 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,920 Speaker 1: been dangerous. You don't know. Then you get to his 60 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: house and realized he only wanted sex from you, and 61 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: that's it, really, mom, I think you need to slow down, says, 62 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 1: because you don't know what you want. I mean, you're 63 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: insulted with the mirrors and the condoms on the nightstand. 64 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: I mean, he could have at least put those up, 65 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: but he didn't. You didn't. You didn't do enough homework 66 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:17,520 Speaker 1: or research on this guy to know what it was 67 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: gonna be, what was gonna be waiting for you when 68 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: you got off that plane. You went from video chatting 69 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 1: with him, thinking you're in some sort of long distance 70 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 1: relationship with this guy, to staying at his house. I mean, 71 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: it sounds a little crazy, and I don't want you 72 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: out here acting desperate in these streets because this is 73 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: what you can end up with. Wall to wall mirrors, 74 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: condoms on the nightstand, and a man saying to you 75 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: that you can watch yourselves while you have sex. What 76 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: you don't You don't even know him like that. Again, 77 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: I'm glad you left early. I hope you learned what 78 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: not to do in the future. Steve, Well, it's a 79 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: lot to unpack here, but really nothing to unpack. This 80 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: is a woman. See I'm interested in what she's not saying, 81 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: so let's go. I mean, a long distance relationship with 82 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: a man that my daughter hooked me up with. He's 83 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: a bodybuilding My daughter met him at her gym. She 84 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,119 Speaker 1: said she was looking in the mirror at herself working out. 85 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: He came stood in front of her to see himself 86 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:20,239 Speaker 1: in the mirror. She said, other than being vain, he's 87 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 1: extremely quiet and nerdy. Okay, other than being vain, he's 88 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: extremely quiet and nerdy. Dude, that makes sense to you, 89 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 1: not at all. It just don't go together at all. Therefore, 90 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,359 Speaker 1: I think your daughter gave you initially a bad read, 91 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: but you took the time to start talking in facetiming 92 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,840 Speaker 1: and stuff, and you gotta even worse read on this guy. 93 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: You said, he and I talked a lot in the beginning. 94 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: It was fun to have someone to talk to. Let's 95 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: stop for a minute. What did you just say? You 96 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: heard it? It was fun to have someone to talk to. 97 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: Where have you been in Where have you been locked away? 98 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 1: Have you been in disposed? Have you been at a convent? 99 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,919 Speaker 1: Have you been up in their mountains at a retreat? 100 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,279 Speaker 1: Have you just retired from being a monk in a 101 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: Buddhist temple? What did you get? It was nice to 102 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: have somebody to talk to. So what she's not saying 103 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: is she was lonely. I think that's what the hook 104 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:54,799 Speaker 1: up was. I overlooked the fact that every time we talked, 105 00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:03,679 Speaker 1: he was smoking weed or had just all right, hello, 106 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 1: he was smoking weed, or had just smoked weed, or 107 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,359 Speaker 1: was planning to smoke weed at any minute. The point 108 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: is it didn't make no sense to me. Who look 109 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: the fact that every time we talked people smoking weed 110 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: had just handsome weed. I was planning the smoke weed 111 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: at any minute. Smokey the nerd, that's vain, loves himself, quiet, nerdy, 112 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 1: weed all the damn all the time, all the time. 113 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 1: That's all she knew about him. All right, we'll have 114 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: part two of your response coming up, Steve. To today's 115 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: letter at twenty three minutes after the hour. The subject 116 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: is smoking Maras. We'll be back right after this. You're listening, 117 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: all right, Steve. Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. 118 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 1: This subject smoke and mirrors. Here's a woman who is 119 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: obviously extremely lonely. Her daughter lives out of state. Meets 120 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: this man at the gym. She was working out, looking 121 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: at herself in the mirror. He came and stood in 122 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: front of her. They met each other. She introduced him 123 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: to her mom, saying, other than being vain, he's really 124 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: quiet and nerdy. That don't go together. Vain people are 125 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: very rarely quiet or nerdy. Your daughter does not know 126 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: how to assess people. You meet the man, y'all get 127 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: on the phone, y'all started talking. He and I talked 128 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: a lot in the beginning, and it was fun to 129 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: have someone to talk to. What what so? Who are you? 130 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: It was fun to have someone to talk to. Okay, 131 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: damn where you being? Lady? I overlooked the fact that 132 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 1: every time we talked he was smoking weed or had 133 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: just had some weed. Always planning in the smoke weed 134 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: at any minute. Why is the dirty quiet personne hard 135 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 1: talk when you're smoking that damn much? Yeah, and hell, 136 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: he might not be quiet, he might yet be sleepy 137 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:17,679 Speaker 1: a lot. After a few months of doing video chats, 138 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: he wanted to see me. I told him he could 139 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: come visit me at my house, but he insisted that 140 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: I come visit him, especially since my daughter lives in 141 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 1: the same city. Okay, that kind of makes sense. He 142 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: bought me a ticket and asked me to stay at 143 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: his house. I planned to stay in his guest room. 144 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 1: What anybody flew you out here for that? All right? 145 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: Who flew you out there to stay in the guest room? 146 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: If you're gonna stay in the guest room. We can 147 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 1: just stayed keep on new these video chats, because at 148 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,479 Speaker 1: least I can talk to you while we're in this bedroom. 149 00:08:53,520 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: All right, all right? Oh hell, I guess I'll come 150 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: on and go then. But I left after he told 151 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: me what he had planned for the weekend. As he 152 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: showed me around this house, I saw condoms on his 153 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: nightstand and I was totally turned off by the floor 154 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 1: to ceiling mirrors in his bedroom. Well, I don't see 155 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: what's wrong with that. Yeah, daughter told you he was vain. 156 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: He abought it, build he got to see itself when 157 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: he gets up. But he has some other plans for you. Now, 158 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: you turned off by the flow of ceiling mirrors in 159 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 1: the bedroom. I kind of like that myself. I have it. 160 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: But and the concu He asked me what I was 161 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: into sexually, and I was shocked because we never talked 162 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: about fetish is and role playing. Well, but you have 163 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 1: talked about sex. See, that's what she didn't put in that. 164 00:09:55,120 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 1: Y'all just didn't discuss fetishes in role playing but everything else. Yeah, 165 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: but you're lying if you think all the video chats 166 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: and sex ain't come up that's not true. He told 167 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: me what he wanted to do to me sexually, and 168 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 1: he said we could watch ourselves in the mirror while 169 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: we did it. That's what the flow of ceiling mirrors is. Fault. 170 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: That's what the condoms is on that table phone. Yourdsey 171 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: was in new draws though. See you ain't even see that, 172 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey, there's some stuff in that draws though. I 173 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 1: got an uber right away and went to my daughter's 174 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: apartment where you should have been in the first place. 175 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 1: He hasn't called a text me since then. Well, what 176 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: are he gonna say? So should I explain this? Okay, 177 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: hold on, he ain't called and text me since then. 178 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: But he told my daughter I'm too shy and hard 179 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: to get along with. Wait a minute, this is the 180 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: quiet nerd that just told your daughter that you too 181 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: shy and hard to get along with. Your daughter has 182 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 1: a poor assessment of men. But, like Shirley said, what 183 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 1: do you care what the hell he thinks or what 184 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 1: your daughter think? Yeah, let your daughter dat him. She 185 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: liked going to the gym, she liked looking at herself 186 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: in the mirror. I don't really see what you want 187 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: us to do, So should I let my daughter keep 188 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: thinking that the breakup was all my fault. Please help, 189 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: just really, you really don't have a problem. You're not 190 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 1: going back up there. You're not into fetishes and role playing. 191 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,959 Speaker 1: You don't like looking at yourself in the mirror because 192 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,679 Speaker 1: you probably get out the bed and you know, I 193 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: like cool walking towards it, But when you turn sideways 194 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 1: and that float of ceiling mirror, who could throw your 195 00:11:53,960 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: ass into something so stupid? That's what she don't like 196 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 1: to Did you be walking to me and being right now, 197 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 1: then you turn to the side and you go it'd 198 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:21,839 Speaker 1: be like just creep out. It's just you shocking. It 199 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,040 Speaker 1: is shocking, and so that's what it is. And so 200 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,679 Speaker 1: you know, I don't know what to tell you, lady. 201 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: You really don't have a problem. I tell my daughter 202 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,720 Speaker 1: the truth. Actually I flew out here. We had discussed sex, 203 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:40,560 Speaker 1: but we didn't discuss fetishes and role playing obviously. Uh, 204 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:45,400 Speaker 1: big big boy over here, Well, big boy wanted to 205 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 1: put some straps on me and have me swinging back 206 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 1: and forth. And every time I swung into him, you 207 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: knew what was gonna happen. Now listen, leave your comments 208 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter at Instagram, at Steve the FM, 209 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: and child I didn't think was big enough on demand. 210 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: Coming up next, Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, 211 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: you're listening to The Stave Harvey Morning Show