1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to the NFL Legends Podcast, an NFL podcast for 2 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 1: the players, by the players. Here is your host, four 3 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:16,240 Speaker 1: teen year NFL veteran and Hall of Famer Anius Williams. 4 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to NFL Legist podcast. This is Anius Williams 5 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: hanging out now with Steven Jackson, who's probably has cut 6 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: off about at least five pounds off the top of 7 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: his head. We'll talk about that a little later. And 8 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,199 Speaker 1: then Ryan leafs, Ryan, so glad to be what you're 9 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 1: and Stephen and that's just a podcast where we just 10 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 1: have a conversation. We converse and we want legends from 11 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: the players to just be able to tune in and 12 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: learn from each other's story. A unique thing about us 13 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: as athletes, our transitions may all be different, but make 14 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: no mistake about it, we probably have all have similar emotions. Well, 15 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 1: we had a bank load of money or we left 16 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 1: the game with very little, and so just organically just 17 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 1: share your part. What how is it? What's your current status? 18 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: Like this current Starting with you, Ryan, what how would 19 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: you describe your current status? Well, my current status is 20 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: very good. I mean it's a peaceful and chaotic life, 21 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: which is you know something I strive for for a 22 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: long long time, but but but never could find. I 23 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:31,040 Speaker 1: didn't leave the NFL on the best of terms. I 24 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: was tired of being kind of beat up metaphorically and 25 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: and actually physically and not meeting my expectations of they 26 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 1: were pretty high. With what the draft does and everything 27 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,960 Speaker 1: like that. You get labeled these these certain things a 28 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: bust being one of them, and you just almost want 29 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: to run and hide. And I never felt like I 30 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: was valuable enough to want to be around former players. 31 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: I didn't think I fit in that group like I 32 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: just I wasn't successful in my eyes. So until this 33 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: Legends community revealed its self to me, I didn't think 34 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: I was worthy to be around guys that were successful 35 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: in that league. Where I am now because of what 36 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,839 Speaker 1: the Legends community has brought to me and how I've 37 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: effectively made different choices and changed my behavior as a 38 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: big reason why I'm able to sit in front of 39 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:21,239 Speaker 1: you and talk to you about this. The Legends community, How, 40 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: how did you connect? How did that happen? I had 41 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: no idea that it existed. I was going to an 42 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: NFL p a UM health screening up in San Francisco 43 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: at the Super Bowl two years ago to do one 44 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 1: of those free UM checkups two years ago. So before 45 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: two years ago, what was going on with Ryan? I 46 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: was in prison. Yeah for a while. UM, I had 47 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,679 Speaker 1: no connection with the NFL at all, or really my 48 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: union either. I just I distanced myself from it. And 49 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: I also resented the fact that no one had reached 50 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: out to me. I was like you, they weren't reaching 51 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: out to me. I wasn't going to ask for help myself. 52 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: And so when we were there in San Francisco, I 53 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: got done with the medical screening, they said, by the way, 54 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: there's this this event. They have a little lounge over 55 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,399 Speaker 1: here for just former players. Um, you should go check 56 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: it out. And I said, okay, and I went and 57 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 1: I walked into the room, and I immediately saw six 58 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: of my former teammates that from the different teams I 59 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: played at work done rocket Ishmael. These guys were in 60 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,920 Speaker 1: the room right there, and the light that lit up 61 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 1: on their face when they saw me, and the welcoming 62 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: nature of the whole room and everything just transformed my 63 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: that guard that was up of resentment of the NFL 64 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 1: or resentment of former players or and then like the 65 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: devaluation of who I was as a person immediately disappeared, 66 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: and I recognized that we were all just, you know, 67 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: still flawed, just flawed human beings who used to play 68 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: football in that moment now trying to be better and 69 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: better everything around us, and that that was a cosmic 70 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: shift for me on that day. I remember I was there. 71 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: I remember the buzzing the room. We were so excited 72 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: to see Ryan. I mean that was the initial reason 73 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: for the lounge. That guys were literally better come. Because 74 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 1: I talked about early in the earlier podcast, many times 75 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: guys separate, I mean, just get away from the very 76 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: thing that we've been a part of pretty much all 77 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: of our lives. Right. We grew up in team atmosphere, 78 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 1: and so it's count intuitive for us. So what good 79 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: could come out really of us really totally separating versus 80 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: finding a way to create the structure going on in 81 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 1: our lives of transition. I appreciate you sharing that, Steven, 82 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: is both of you guys also first round draft picks. 83 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: That's the other interesting thing, you know, number two picking 84 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: the draft, and then Stephen, you were number taking Marshal 85 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: falcon Eyes community locker that was empty prior to you 86 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: being drafted, and all of a sudden, he put this 87 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 1: rookie right next to us. Man, tell us a about 88 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: your story. Well, I think, like Ryan Um, I didn't. 89 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: I wasn't aware about the Legends community. The first time 90 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: I became aware of it, I was at actually ornandous 91 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,919 Speaker 1: Pace Hall of Fame induction, and I assume that that 92 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 1: was just something. That lounge that you're referring to was 93 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: for the Hall of Fame and the future and Hall 94 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 1: of Famers and and those people. I just really confused 95 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: the name, the term the Legends. That's why I've been 96 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: introduced to it. Still didn't think much of it. It's 97 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:31,159 Speaker 1: still didn't click to me. I'm not really attached the 98 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: league anymore, but like we both know, we grew up 99 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,479 Speaker 1: loving the sport, and it just felt so naked and 100 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 1: so isolated not to want to watch a game, not 101 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: to go to a practice. And when you do turn 102 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:46,280 Speaker 1: on the TV, and if the game's on and you 103 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: see someone you either play with or against for so 104 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: many years, you kind of get a bitter taste in 105 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 1: your mouth. You know, tell me about that, Well, I 106 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 1: better tasted that. Better tastes you start reflecting for me, 107 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: at least you start reflecting on your your decisions and 108 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,239 Speaker 1: your were you know, for so many years in St. Louis, 109 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 1: we were we were just bad. We're just awful, and 110 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: you feel like, you know, did I not speak up 111 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: enough for did I not actually traded? You know? Were 112 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,839 Speaker 1: I too loyal to someone or organization? And it wasn't 113 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:18,359 Speaker 1: necessarily probably loyal to me then, and that in my case, 114 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: after nine years i Sat Louis, I didn't move to 115 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: Atlanta to have the same losing taste that I thought 116 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 1: I was running away from, right, And so then you're like, man, well, 117 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: should I have just staying in Saint Louis. At least 118 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,159 Speaker 1: I know they'll give me the ball, you know, you know, 119 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,919 Speaker 1: it's just all those real things, you know, as competitors, 120 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 1: and it's people that not only you want to have, 121 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: you know, Grace and says individually, but ultimately it's the 122 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: ultimate team sport and the game of football. And I 123 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: just wasn't finding what I thought I was looking for. 124 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: So when my last season with Atlanta Falcons, I had 125 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 1: signed a three year contract and I was that was 126 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: in the year two of it, and Mike Smith and 127 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,919 Speaker 1: his staff got fired. So timately I didn't think my 128 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: last game was my last game. And I never got 129 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: a phone call that all season saying we're gonna let 130 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,159 Speaker 1: you go. I was on vacation. I said that, well, 131 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: if you could do me a favorite, let's hold off 132 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 1: and you know, making this formal while I'm on vacation. 133 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with the phone calls while 134 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: I'm overseas. And when I get back in the States, 135 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: you know, we can make a formal and you mean, 136 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: we can make it publicly known that I won't be 137 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 1: back with the Falcons. And you know, they did that 138 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: and that happened. So I didn't go into all states, 139 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: and not knowing I was gonna be picked up again, 140 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: it was just really difficult. My agent was sick, my 141 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: father was sick, and I was in and I was 142 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: in the days of what where to go next. Fast 143 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: forward to December of two thousands fifteen, I get a 144 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: phone call from Bill Belichick. Now I haven't played football 145 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: for a year, and I told him, knowing that initially, 146 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: I said, Coach Belichick, all due respect, I love you. 147 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: I've always dreamed of playing for you, but these guys 148 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: are in the tip top shape. Didn't get ready for 149 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: playoff time, and I'm sitting here shop before he goes Stephen, 150 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: this is how he this is like, I got to 151 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: take the plane, right he got Stephen. You all this 152 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: to yourself because ten fifteen years from now, you want 153 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: to look back on the couch and say, what if 154 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 1: I got on that plane and I took up his 155 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: offer and made the team and I had to do 156 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: the try out, made the team, and I had a 157 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: crazy six weeks, went to the SC Championship. I had. 158 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: That was my first playoff games. Is my rookie year 159 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: with you guys. So I had eleven year draft and 160 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,840 Speaker 1: not even being a playoff game, didn't go to the 161 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: FC Championship and lose and uh but you know what 162 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: I always say about that, I know it was so bitter. 163 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 1: I feel like God gave me closure because going into 164 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: that game, coming out that tunnel in Denver, I told myself, 165 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: when lose a draw, I know I'm saying goodbye. Wow, 166 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 1: I got I got cut on my honeymoon. Wow, it's 167 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: on the boat in the middle of the Usian waters 168 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: and I got released up. So you're going through this 169 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: this whirlwind, I mean, all the way from drafted, right, 170 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: you know, just remember interviews and all those things. How 171 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:15,439 Speaker 1: did you process this getting cuts, getting cut just the 172 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: whole well, we were we were, we were so unhappy 173 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,319 Speaker 1: in San Diego that it turned into even a bigger celebration. 174 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: Actually we ordered bottles of champagne and you know, we 175 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: thought a lot of popper bottles that may have been 176 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: the problem, right, you know. And then sure enough I 177 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: got claimed on waivers by coach Dungee the next day. 178 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: So it was yes, really really good news. I mean 179 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 1: it was life changing for me. It was taught me 180 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 1: how to be a professional really, So it was ended 181 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: up being really really really good news at that time. 182 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 1: But I also for a moment thought like am I 183 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 1: Am I ever going to play this game that I 184 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: wanted to do since I was four years old again? 185 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: And that that crossed my mind, like is it over? 186 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 1: Did it just ends like like this? And now I 187 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: have no saying what happens next, in which we all don't, 188 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 1: I mean, we never do. And I'm gonna say to 189 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: to Ryan's point, when you're young and healthy, right, I 190 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: always envisioned that when my last game or my last 191 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: season was because I was just battered and beat up, 192 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 1: I'm done I'm thrown in the town. But to walk 193 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 1: away and have the uncertainty and you're still healthy in 194 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 1: a sense of you know, sure, you know you can 195 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: do Yeah. Yeah, it's not multiple surgeries here, there and everywhere, 196 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 1: and they just have nobody to call your phone. It's 197 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: just yeah, it's you fear very like you're on You're 198 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: on an island. How did you deal with so? Looking 199 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:49,439 Speaker 1: back at your careers right is there? Did you how 200 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 1: did you deal with it? Did you ever have to 201 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: deal with regrets? What regrets? Yeah? I mean the regret 202 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: for me was, of course, didn't happen until long after 203 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: I've been gone out of the NFL, when I actually 204 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: found some found some self awareness. How did you find 205 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: self aware accountability? I think the understanding that the reason 206 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: why a lot of the situations didn't work wasn't because 207 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: of the the team or the media. It was it 208 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: was me and of how I behaved and the choices 209 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,319 Speaker 1: I made, And I just I blamed so many people 210 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: for the mistakes or the things that went poorly. I 211 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 1: never really looked at it and actually took full accountability 212 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,199 Speaker 1: for my part in it. Because you you can't control 213 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 1: what anybody else does. You can't control who cuts you, 214 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: the media, what they do with anything. You only can 215 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 1: control how you react to it or But I just 216 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 1: I couldn't see that forever. I just blamed so many 217 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: people when I played poorly and was criticized. I you know, 218 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: I got so defensive, and I would battle back against 219 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:46,199 Speaker 1: the media, and then that would turn relationships with teammates sour. 220 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,319 Speaker 1: And I I didn't just attach myself to Junior say 221 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 1: I and Rodney Harrison and follow them around and learned 222 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: how to be a professional and do it well, because 223 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 1: essentially the quarterback of the football team is is the 224 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:00,320 Speaker 1: CEO of like of a fortune company. And I didn't 225 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: approach it that way. I was so young as you, 226 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 1: as were you? I mean, I was twenty one when 227 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 1: I got drafted, and they gave me the second pick 228 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,199 Speaker 1: in the draft, twenty one, and they gave me thirty 229 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,319 Speaker 1: one million dollars. How were you, Stephen when my name 230 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: was called? I was twenty when I signed. Yeah, and 231 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: when I signed in July, my brother in July, I 232 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 1: just turned twenty one. So let's go back to this, 233 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:26,320 Speaker 1: because I was twenty four. What in the world it's 234 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: like at twenty one years old? Like your life changes, 235 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: like this is all the college, all that stuff is over, 236 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: everything you've been doing to get to this, and now 237 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: you're here. What in the world is that like for 238 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,839 Speaker 1: one year old? Well, I didn't, Uh. I didn't think 239 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,400 Speaker 1: money would change me. I was raised by a father 240 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: with a lot of character and integrity and being fruging. 241 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 1: For some reason, I thought I developed this idea that 242 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 1: like success was money, power and prestige. I just I 243 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: saw that and I thought that's what success was I 244 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: and I had it now, and so in turn, I 245 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,959 Speaker 1: was just like, Yeah, this is how it's supposed to be. 246 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,200 Speaker 1: This is what I've worked so hard for, this is 247 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,199 Speaker 1: where I'm supposed to be, and this is how it's 248 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: supposed to be. Uh. That was the mind sentence that 249 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,959 Speaker 1: of actually being grateful. I thought, you know, I had 250 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 1: the world at my feet right now, and that's what 251 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 1: it was gonna look like. And playing in the NFL 252 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: is very very difficult, and I just think plane in 253 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: the NFL is very very difficult. For whatever reason, I 254 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 1: thought I was going to be easy like it was 255 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 1: in college, you know, And then when things started to 256 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 1: when I started to stumble and struggle. I had never 257 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: like most of us who have made at that level 258 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: never really failed in our athletic careers, and that could 259 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: be very devastating for somebody who has never failed before. 260 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 1: And then, in my case, be out of the league 261 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 1: in five years where I thought I would have an 262 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: nineteen year career winning super Bowls and being the face 263 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: of a franchise that's gone. And it's because of the 264 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 1: personal choices I made. Just because you're a great football 265 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: player doesn't make you a good person. I think that 266 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,720 Speaker 1: that's I didn't really, I didn't see it that way. 267 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 1: I just I thought I was better than you because 268 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 1: I played this sport in that UM, I was this 269 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: famous and I was the second pick in the NFL 270 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: Drid just I thought I was better than you because 271 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: of that. And it took me a long time and 272 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: had to be humbled in a way that made me 273 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: understand that this was a was a um a gift 274 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 1: to be able to do what we were gonna get 275 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,640 Speaker 1: to do, and I didn't take advantage of it. So 276 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 1: that's my regret, right, I didn't. I didn't take advantage 277 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 1: of probably the greatest thing that we will ever have 278 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 1: happened to me, until, of course, when I figured out 279 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 1: later in life. But I mean, this was a unbelievable 280 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: opportunity and I and I wasted it. So that's my 281 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: that's my biggest regret. As I'm coming to you in 282 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: a second, the sun came to my mind for legends 283 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 1: that that do have regrets because you can't go back, 284 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: but you do need to get over it right. And 285 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: so one of things I would suggest any legends as 286 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: listening is probably write yourself a letter, and that letter 287 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 1: would include whatever you disappoint whenever you thought you should 288 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 1: have done that you didn't do, or if you got 289 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 1: distracted while playing and you thought your career ended because 290 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 1: of that, are you blaming others? As you said, write 291 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 1: yourself a letter admitting that, confessing that, and then at 292 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: the end of that letter said Okay, I acknowledge it 293 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: and I forgive you, and then sign off on it. 294 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 1: So the current players that are gonna hear this just 295 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 1: the other thing, Ryan and Stephen, the current players that 296 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 1: are going to hear this podcast, they are going to 297 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,720 Speaker 1: now get some wisdom from you guys. So Stephen, what 298 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: was it like in the first round of having the 299 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 1: money to mool out of Cheddar and the cheese. Yeah. 300 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: I think for me being that young, I grew up 301 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: and we had to share everything. So I just shared it. 302 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: And in the sense of not like entourage and a 303 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 1: lot of friends like um, it was more so. Both 304 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: of my sisters are thirteen and eleven years older than me, 305 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 1: and they're both for younger mothers. Right. So then my 306 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: mom and dad worked in the casinos in Las Vegas, 307 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: so they were always working around the shift. So to 308 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 1: have two young to have sisters that are young women 309 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: in their lives, but four children in peace, it's almost 310 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: like I stepped in the role of being a father 311 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 1: for my nieces and nephews. So I look up at one, 312 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:31,280 Speaker 1: I'm taking care of ten people. And then, like Ryan said, 313 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: you never think it's gonna end or you think that 314 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: this is just this is just what I deserve because 315 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: all the hard work got put in, and you know, godshine, 316 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: he smiled on me. Right, And when you do that, 317 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: I realized that what we think is a blessing tend 318 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 1: to be enabling and hampering others in their development as people. 319 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: And I think on my situation was a little different. 320 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: I surrounded myself with a lot of the boys right there, Yes, 321 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 1: man that would tell me how great I was. And 322 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 1: when I'd be messing up and not doing the right thing, 323 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: the people that you know held me accountable or gave 324 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,640 Speaker 1: me constructive criticism, I would push away out of my life, 325 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,359 Speaker 1: and I surrounded myself with these people that saw me 326 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: as the golden goose and weren't going to tell me 327 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,000 Speaker 1: no right. They were gonna always tell me, yes, tell 328 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 1: me how great that was. And I kept them in 329 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 1: my life because I wanted that affirmation rather than you know, 330 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,199 Speaker 1: being shown a mirror and seeing me messing up in 331 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: a way that unto your point exactly, it affected me 332 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 1: negatively because I have these people not with my best 333 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,920 Speaker 1: interest at heart at all. It was all about them 334 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,439 Speaker 1: and getting what they wanted out of the out of 335 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 1: the situation at the relationship where I needed to be 336 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 1: focused and I needed to hear these things that I 337 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,360 Speaker 1: struggled with that coaches were telling me or the administration, 338 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 1: and I wouldn't listen to because my the guys I 339 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: surrounded myself were just simple going, you know, thumbs up, Ryan, 340 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,880 Speaker 1: you know you're you're the best man Ryan. You met, 341 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,920 Speaker 1: You had your boys, and then you had the accountability 342 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,960 Speaker 1: with your epiphany, eye opening, or their voices from different 343 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 1: people that you look back and said, because awesome thing 344 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 1: about being older you can remember the voices that were accurate, 345 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,920 Speaker 1: the voices that really loved you and didn't really care 346 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,199 Speaker 1: how you felt, because you know we can we can 347 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:15,359 Speaker 1: pout right the only one man like you know, are 348 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 1: you coming around giving me all that negativity and all 349 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. Were there any voices from that 350 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:25,000 Speaker 1: you can recall looking back? Oh yeah they were. They 351 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: were kind of on point Junior. Junior say, oh yeah 352 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: he was. And Rodney Rodney Harrison, both those guys say 353 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: they welcome me in with open arms. And then when 354 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 1: things started to slide down hill for me, I just 355 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: kind of I put a shield up to them and 356 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,760 Speaker 1: listen to like I talked about the people that were 357 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,440 Speaker 1: in my ear um, rather than actually take some accountability 358 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 1: and try to figure it out. Like I said before, 359 00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:55,360 Speaker 1: I should have just I should have followed them both 360 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 1: around like lost, like a lost puppy and learned how 361 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: to be a perfect because they did it for years 362 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 1: and years and is at a very very high level. 363 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: I didn't approach it as the CEO of a fortune 364 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: companies the way I needed to. It was just you 365 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 1: were just a kid who got caught up in something 366 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 1: that he was way over his head. And I wasn't 367 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: ready for you know, I had the maturity level much 368 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,400 Speaker 1: younger man when I got all that money and was 369 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: supposed to then be a leader of all these men, 370 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,879 Speaker 1: you know, people who were trying to put food on 371 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: their on their kitchen tables for their families. Rather than 372 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: this is just a crazy game that we're all just 373 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: having fun with, you know, this was these were lifestyle. Yeah, 374 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: and I of course we talked about those regrets, and 375 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,959 Speaker 1: those were the guys that were in my ear right. 376 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,359 Speaker 1: John Carney as well. John Carney was a I remember 377 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,679 Speaker 1: a story about him after things kind of got off 378 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 1: to a rocky start, and there was some inspirational and 379 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 1: motivational things he thought would be beneficial to me as 380 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,199 Speaker 1: being a leader. So he put me in in uh 381 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 1: into an introduction with Tony Robbins, and Tony offered a 382 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,679 Speaker 1: for me to come out to his private island and 383 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,439 Speaker 1: Fiji for a weekend to go through somehow. And I 384 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 1: think my exact words were Tony Robbins, you know, that's 385 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: that's what it was at the time. I just uh, 386 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:19,199 Speaker 1: because you're not even thinking about No, it was to 387 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,879 Speaker 1: me it was an attack right anytime I got criticized, 388 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: any constructive criticism, for me, it was it was an 389 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: attack on me as me showing that I was weak 390 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 1: in some way. That's that's changed, and I think it's 391 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,639 Speaker 1: a stigma that exists, and I think that vulnerability, especially 392 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,679 Speaker 1: as a big, strong football player, we're not supposed to 393 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: exhibit that. I mean, we just were not vulnerable. And 394 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 1: doing in a community like this has shown me that 395 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 1: that there's vulnerability in this Legends committee. There's the ability 396 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,199 Speaker 1: to ask for help and then this comes together as 397 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: a group because we never did this all alone. We 398 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 1: thought for a while we made it to where we 399 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: got to on all our own abilities, but there are 400 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,199 Speaker 1: so many people along the way that helped us, and 401 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: now there has to be we have to be part 402 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: of this huge tribe again. How did you bounce back? 403 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,359 Speaker 1: You know, if if there anything that you can think 404 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: about your transition, Was there any bounce back, Was there 405 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 1: anything any challenge that you had you had to overcome, 406 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: any mindset stealing? Well, I think for me it was 407 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: more so when I saw my dad when he was 408 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 1: in the hospital that summer two thousand and fifteen. We 409 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,479 Speaker 1: had that real heart to heart because you know, we 410 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: were unsure. You know, surgery is surgery. You know, you'd 411 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 1: never unsure they're going to come out okay or the same. 412 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: And we had a heart to heart about you know, 413 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 1: what his wishes were if something was to go wrong, 414 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,879 Speaker 1: and that you know, not being the the person to 415 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: show that the financial burdens of the family, but to 416 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,639 Speaker 1: be the man and to kind of give that wisdom 417 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 1: and knowledge to those that that were needed. And the 418 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,119 Speaker 1: way he saw life and the way he would envision 419 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,679 Speaker 1: his family to live on in generations. That helped me 420 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,959 Speaker 1: getting get involved with veterans and I began to as 421 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 1: I saw the rigorness and and how people went through 422 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: the v A system and didn't have the a son 423 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,439 Speaker 1: that was an NFL player, Um, what they had to 424 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: go through just to get help. And many like us 425 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 1: in the leged community, you know, they feel like se later, 426 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,479 Speaker 1: they feel like the country has turned away from them 427 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 1: and stop thinking about them. So what I did was, 428 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,639 Speaker 1: you know, once my dad would help back healthy again, 429 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 1: I got involved with me and my partner and we 430 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 1: started something called Veterans Village and I own a housing 431 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 1: community that we house homeless veterans and we ensure them 432 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,199 Speaker 1: that they thank you, and we ensure them that we 433 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: get them in front of a doctor if they needed 434 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: within twenty four hours. So giving back in a sense 435 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 1: of not only what my dad did, but it also 436 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: helped me and it sense feels like about it. I'm 437 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 1: part of a team again. You know. I get to 438 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: sit down and talk to some of these veterans and 439 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 1: we just talked about anything we could talk about. We 440 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,359 Speaker 1: can talk about their days in the military, and I 441 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: share stories about them in the locker room, and we 442 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 1: just see the parallels and those walls, you know, no 443 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 1: matter the gender, the race, no matter you know, the background, 444 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 1: All that comes down when people just realize, you know 445 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 1: that we're all the same and we have you know, 446 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 1: it's essentially the same kind of day to day and 447 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 1: in worries that you know, we all share. One of 448 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:11,640 Speaker 1: the things I also encourage when you're feel in that way, 449 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: when you're feeling a certain way, man, go now be 450 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 1: with other people who are less fortunate. Man like Thanksgiving, 451 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 1: Go feed the homeless, right because it gives you a 452 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,720 Speaker 1: different perspective. Does that make sense? Guys like this is 453 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 1: part of So you know, just because when I went 454 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 1: to a prison cell um didn't mean anything changed in me, right, 455 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 1: you know, just because that you removed I was a 456 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: drug addict, addicted to opiate pain killers. And just because 457 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,920 Speaker 1: you removed that from my life didn't mean I got better. 458 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: That there had to be a conscious change. And about 459 00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 1: twenty six months in my roommate who God blessed me with, 460 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,160 Speaker 1: came to me and he felt comfortable enough to get 461 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 1: on me about how I had my head in her 462 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 1: roommate from college, my roommate in prison. Prison, yes I 463 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 1: never referred, I'm just doing that, came to me and 464 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:06,919 Speaker 1: he yelled at me about how I didn't understand how 465 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 1: I had my head buried in the sand, how I 466 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 1: didn't understand the value I had. Now this was a 467 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: this was an Iraqi Afghanistan um war veteran who was 468 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 1: my roommate, and he said, this is what we're gonna do. 469 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 1: He said, you don't understand the value you have to 470 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 1: the men in here, but from when you get out, 471 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: because you're gonna get out at some point. Ryan, I 472 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,159 Speaker 1: was just resigned to the fact that I was okay 473 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 1: staying in there, and he said, we're gonna go down 474 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 1: to the library. We're gonna help these uh prisoners who 475 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: don't know how to read learn how to read. This 476 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,560 Speaker 1: is a this is this story when you were telling 477 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,439 Speaker 1: your story right there, it's identical, right. I was so 478 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,520 Speaker 1: prideful that I was this famous football player sitting in 479 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 1: a prison cell. I was the victim, and I had 480 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: a guy who had been of service, the greatest sacrifice 481 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 1: of service, being a veteran, tell me, this is what 482 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,880 Speaker 1: we're gonna go do. And we went and we um 483 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 1: started helping these guys read. And before I knew what 484 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,399 Speaker 1: I was there for three weeks, four weeks, and then 485 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 1: I was the substance abuse counselor's t A. And I 486 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: figured out that my foundation of when I got out 487 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,840 Speaker 1: of prison was going to have to be around service. 488 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 1: Otherwise I was just gonna circle back and be the 489 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 1: same person I had always been, right, And that's where 490 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:12,879 Speaker 1: it stemmed from. And that's what I do now. I 491 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,240 Speaker 1: work in the recovery community h all over this country. 492 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: We try to help people get treatment. I work with veterans. 493 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 1: Just like Stephen we're talking about. We did had something 494 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 1: in common. He has these housing for vets in Las Vegas. 495 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,399 Speaker 1: I have a foundation that works with vets and current 496 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,880 Speaker 1: our former NFL players. We put them, we bring them together. 497 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,200 Speaker 1: It's called m v P Merging Vets and Players because 498 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 1: the transition is so similar. We'd never hey, we never 499 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: think we're gonna do anything as important again as they 500 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 1: do as being a combat veteran and us as an 501 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 1: NFL player. And they also, you lose this team, you know, 502 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,960 Speaker 1: you lose this team. So we bring each other together. 503 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 1: And we didn't realize because NFL players just look up 504 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 1: to and respect our veterans, and the veterans just look 505 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,879 Speaker 1: up and respect to our our NFL athletes, and we 506 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: brought them together. So I mean, this is this is 507 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,160 Speaker 1: why exactly what the Legends community is about. If don't 508 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: run into each other to day, we don't even know 509 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,399 Speaker 1: about what we are both trying to do to be 510 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,480 Speaker 1: of service. Because I defy anybody, especially any NFL former 511 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 1: player out there who's struggling, I defy you to go 512 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,959 Speaker 1: be of service during the day and not lay your 513 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: head down at night in a peaceful way and sleep well. 514 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 1: I I it just can't. It doesn't happen when you 515 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,680 Speaker 1: put your self to the side and and make it 516 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:26,160 Speaker 1: about somebody else. You are at peace. You just are. 517 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: Sometimes our perceptions cause us to be ungrateful, Like people say, whoa, 518 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 1: now you with the greatest show on turf. Now you 519 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,520 Speaker 1: gotta be loving it. I was loving it when I 520 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,120 Speaker 1: got an opptune to win full games because I had 521 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,359 Speaker 1: the proper perspective. It is only one percent of us 522 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,159 Speaker 1: from the outside world perspectively, they said I was the 523 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 1: biggest at the time. They said I was the biggest 524 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: bus and that I didn't have your wherewithal her strength 525 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,440 Speaker 1: to look at it as like, no, I'm doing I'm 526 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,359 Speaker 1: I'm in the one percent. I do now now I 527 00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,639 Speaker 1: can look at I'm from the state of Montana, where 528 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: there's been one person ever drafted in the first round 529 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 1: in the NFL Draft. One and that's me. So there 530 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,400 Speaker 1: are more for there are more. First there's only been 531 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 1: one first round draft pick, and that's you. You're talking 532 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 1: to me. There are more first round draft picks in 533 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 1: the Manning family than the whole state of Montana ever. 534 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,199 Speaker 1: All right, So and I still did never see I 535 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 1: never saw that. I never saw it as like you 536 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 1: talked about that perspective of like I just I saw 537 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: the end of it, like I was just this terrible failure, 538 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 1: and then I didn't belong with either one of you. 539 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 1: Sitting at the table with either one of you five 540 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: years ago, I wouldn't have been able to do because 541 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: I would have felt less sand and judged, and I 542 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 1: would have to find a way to alter my mood 543 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: in that moment, and it usually involved some kind of 544 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 1: substance where I had to drink a lot or I 545 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:54,119 Speaker 1: had to use opiate to make me not feel those 546 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,639 Speaker 1: those awful feelings. And I know a lot of guys 547 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,800 Speaker 1: go through that, whether they and I found this out, 548 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 1: especially being an a legend can be. I found out 549 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,160 Speaker 1: that even guys who played eighteen years and won two 550 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,359 Speaker 1: Super Bowls or something like that, they still feel like 551 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 1: there was something they didn't they didn't quite get right. 552 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: And that opened my eyes to a ton of things, like, yeah, 553 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 1: we're all the same. Anybody that's played in this league, 554 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 1: they're part of one percent. So wherever they're from, they're 555 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: the one percenters. So even if they didn't play as 556 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: long as they thought they should have played, even if 557 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 1: they had a cup of coffee, there are very few 558 00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,159 Speaker 1: where they came from could even say that. So one 559 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 1: of the things we wanted to do from these kind 560 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:38,480 Speaker 1: of this kind of podcasts is to remind that legend, man, 561 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 1: this is where you really are, this is what you're 562 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: capable of doing. And now let's get the right perspective here. 563 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,719 Speaker 1: Let's realize man, I am you're right. You know what, 564 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 1: I didn't play maybe six games, but I'm part of 565 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: one percent. So if you can be a part of 566 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,800 Speaker 1: the one percent in this group, don't tell me you 567 00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 1: can't now transition into something that's your passion and do 568 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 1: well at it make sense? It does. I think that's 569 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,760 Speaker 1: really need. That message needs to be dealt home, especially 570 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,440 Speaker 1: with social media, right because most of us we didn't 571 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 1: play with and they came. I think tell in my career, 572 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 1: Twitter was really big and now you have Instagram, but 573 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: we have people behind these keyboards could say any and 574 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 1: everything and they could tear you down. And as much 575 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,440 Speaker 1: as you have that warwithal, you know, like you're saying 576 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 1: that you are one per same you only play six games, 577 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: there's somebody's gonna try to remind you that you didn't 578 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,440 Speaker 1: have her storybook career, right, So it is really good. 579 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 1: It's really important to have this alleged community, because there's 580 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: enough people out there's going to try to tear it down. 581 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 1: They could do it from a keystroke. So and I 582 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,680 Speaker 1: want to say something to you. And I don't think 583 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,640 Speaker 1: you ever knew this. And it's funny that we're doing 584 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:46,160 Speaker 1: this interview together. You mentioned those whole years in Arizona, 585 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: well after you left and retired, those same years following 586 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 1: me and St. Louis, And how did I stay professional? 587 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 1: How do I keep my head down? I remember you 588 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 1: running half gases when we used to do nine on 589 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,560 Speaker 1: seven when the offensive was up and the defence of 590 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,400 Speaker 1: the rest, you would do your half gasses because one 591 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 1: you was conditioning yourself, but two you was just locked in. 592 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,640 Speaker 1: You was always gonna be primed and ready. And I 593 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 1: started doing that after you left. I didn't in Atlanta, 594 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:12,800 Speaker 1: I did in New England. I did everywhere I went 595 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,000 Speaker 1: because you set that role model. You set that, you 596 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 1: set that bar for me that no matter how bad 597 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,560 Speaker 1: it is, no matter who is you know, it's November 598 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:25,480 Speaker 1: in December, we beat up. There's no excuse. There's no excuse, 599 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 1: you know. And and you really set that bar for me. 600 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 1: And I never had a chance to share that what 601 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 1: you've never told anybody that where I got that from? 602 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 1: You know, thank you for sharing that for me, Ryan, 603 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 1: it really started when I gave my life to Christ 604 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:42,040 Speaker 1: around my junior year. So my identity, that's the key man. 605 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,360 Speaker 1: A lot of times it's football becomes who we are 606 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 1: versus what we do. So no matter where it was, 607 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: it's the other thing is every day I want to 608 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:55,040 Speaker 1: encourage the legends. Man, find things to be grateful about, right, 609 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 1: Just something, man, If it's just you just woke up, 610 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,120 Speaker 1: be grateful about it. If if you've got a wife 611 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 1: that I still love, you'd be grateful about it. Right. 612 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,560 Speaker 1: You know, we talked about what I thought success was 613 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: and we wanted to get into what's transition for me 614 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 1: to success now? Is our three three simple things to 615 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 1: those right, It's accountability, the understanding that whatever I do 616 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,080 Speaker 1: there's consequences and I'm responsible for for anything I do. 617 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 1: I have control over that, not what the media says 618 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 1: or what a guy on social media says. I actually 619 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 1: have control over. It's exactly what you did, no matter 620 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,680 Speaker 1: what team you played for and how bad things were, 621 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 1: you watched as do what he did, and you had 622 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 1: control over what you did in practice that day. And 623 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: the second thing for me is spirituality. You know, I 624 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: just I didn't have spirituality in my life. I thought 625 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 1: I was for a long time bigger than the game 626 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 1: and then below. It didn't understand that there was something 627 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 1: so much greater than me out there that gave me that. 628 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:57,040 Speaker 1: And the third thing was community. And it's funny that 629 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 1: it's called the Legends community. Um, I live within a 630 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 1: every community a Legends community, you know, for an organization. 631 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 1: When I left the NFL and was so resentful of 632 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 1: to actually be back in the fold and understanding, like 633 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 1: they asked me last year to go to the Combine 634 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 1: and mentor the young quarterbacks at the Combine and can 635 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 1: you imagine twenty years later that that I would be 636 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 1: the one doing that is a It's a hundred and 637 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: eighty degree lifestyle change. Thank you, Ryan. How do you 638 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 1: redefined success? Yeah? I know the interesting questions and I'm 639 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,280 Speaker 1: still I think I'm still defining it. I'm still going 640 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 1: through that process. You know what I tell you, The 641 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: things I do take pride in, I still take pride 642 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: very much. So I'm providing and protecting my family, teaching 643 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 1: my two sons and my daughter that hard work and 644 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 1: dedication typically gives you the outcome that you want, and 645 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,560 Speaker 1: even if you don't get the outcome you want, you 646 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 1: could be proud of the efforts you put into it. 647 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: And then the last thing is combined with spirituality is loving. 648 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:02,240 Speaker 1: I think it's important too always show your loved ones 649 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,120 Speaker 1: that you love them and tell them that showing your actions. 650 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 1: Because for for so long, the needs that I played 651 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,280 Speaker 1: the game so angry that I would channel I channeled 652 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: the game. I wouldn't even be smiling, man. I would 653 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 1: channel a weak worth of whatever stresses I had, and 654 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 1: I would just take it out on Sunday when lose 655 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 1: a draw. It was an exertion of me letting out 656 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 1: frustration and that's just how I saw it. And to 657 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,200 Speaker 1: not have that Sunday and not have that ability to 658 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 1: just let out that frustration to being very physical with 659 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:44,720 Speaker 1: other special talented men, I then found myself getting into 660 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 1: yoga and getting the two things to bring me my 661 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,880 Speaker 1: bring that anger down, bringing that to just harness it 662 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,720 Speaker 1: and channel that anger and to love. You know, thank 663 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 1: you guys for the transparency, Thank you guys for being 664 00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 1: a part of just an outstanding podcast. I love you. 665 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:07,440 Speaker 1: I appreciate it. It's been awesome. Man message at the com. 666 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:11,440 Speaker 1: This has been the NFL Legends podcast. To provide feedback 667 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,760 Speaker 1: or request a topic for discussion, email us at NFL 668 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,120 Speaker 1: Legends at NFL dot com, m