1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:01,080 Speaker 1: Wow. 2 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,519 Speaker 2: Well, well, oh my god. 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 3: This is about to be the most interesting podcast you 4 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 3: guys have ever heard. 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: I mean, that's a lofty well listen. 6 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 3: The reason I say that is because I cannot predict 7 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 3: what's about to happen or come out of my mouth 8 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 3: because I'm one muscle relaxers. Oh god, yeah, wild, Happy 9 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:26,079 Speaker 3: Friday everyone. 10 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 2: Chip and I are both injured. 11 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: We're old. 12 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 3: I mean I don't like to refer to myself that way, 13 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 3: but sometimes in these moments. 14 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 2: I just feel really old. 15 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 3: I have a back injury and Ship actually injured his today. 16 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 3: I have been down for the count this whole entire week, 17 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,599 Speaker 3: Like it was so severe that I couldn't even record 18 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 3: this week. So the Velvet episode, if you guys notice, 19 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 3: was one of my favorite episodes, and it was because 20 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 3: I was so high on muscle relaxers and could not move. 21 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 3: I've actually moved out of the bed at this point 22 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 3: and was able to get acupunctury yesterday, so it's helped 23 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 3: a little bit to where I have some movement, but 24 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 3: I'm still on muscle relaxing. 25 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 2: And yeah, this is about to be interesting. 26 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: Really, I mean, you were having spasms. That's why I'm 27 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: on the muscle relaxing. Yeah, I'm not like. I just 28 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 1: was doing lifting weights today and did something. I feel it, My. 29 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 2: Lord, that's how mine started. 30 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: So I've got an ice pack. Can you hear it 31 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: crinkle when I move? 32 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: No? 33 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 3: But that's good because you're Actually I didn't do this, 34 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,319 Speaker 3: but they told me you're supposed to ice for the 35 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,919 Speaker 3: first couple of days or do alternating like ice and heat, 36 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 3: and I just I didn't have ice packs, so I 37 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 3: just did straight heat, which was okay though, because my 38 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 3: body doesn't really respond all to cold. It never has, right, But. 39 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:47,639 Speaker 1: Man, what a week? 40 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 2: What a week? Here we are? 41 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 3: And I mean I kind of like have missed you guys. 42 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 3: I was like, I have to record today. I can't 43 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 3: just do no podcast all week. But again, whatever I say, like, 44 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,559 Speaker 3: take it with a grain of salt. 45 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: I kind of hope it goes off the rails. 46 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, you never know. 47 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 3: Remember we used to drink on podcasts. Yeah, we don't 48 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 3: do that anymore, but it was always pretty interesting to 49 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 3: see what came out of our mouths. 50 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,239 Speaker 1: Well, is that just another example of us getting older? 51 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: Like you can't even drink on a podcast. Maybe I 52 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: don't know. 53 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 3: I posted on my Instagram that Chip and I were 54 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 3: doing listener questions today and I should have said I 55 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 3: will answer all of your listener questions on muscle Relaxers 56 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 3: and see what kind of gifts we got. We did 57 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 3: get some really funny ones, though, so you know we'll 58 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 3: get into those in a second. Yeah, anything else exciting 59 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 3: happened in your week before that? We need to tell 60 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 3: the listeners before we get going. 61 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 1: Uh no, Di, I just did a little travel. I 62 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: was in Los Angeles and I got back yesterday. 63 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 2: Oh, Casual, I didn't even know you that. 64 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I went to some a g Oh, this 65 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: is pretty cool. Like I met Lauren Hill. I mean, 66 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: my gosh, is literally okay. 67 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 2: I saw l post about that. 68 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: I saw I saw your comment. 69 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:03,799 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 70 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 3: You don't even understand. I'm obsessed with that album. Like 71 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 3: I still it's the only album in my Spotify that 72 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 3: I have downloaded, and so every time I take a flight, 73 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 3: that's what I listen to, and I can listen to 74 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 3: it on repeat, Like I've listened to that album so 75 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 3: many times. 76 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:17,079 Speaker 2: I'm talking about that. 77 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: Well Music just did this really cool thing where they 78 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: listed the top one hundred albums of all time. Yeah, 79 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:28,399 Speaker 1: and they rolled it out like every day they did 80 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: like one hundred and ninety one. Yesterday happened to be 81 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: the day that they did from ten to one, and 82 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 1: their top album of all time was The Miseducation of 83 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,839 Speaker 1: Lauren Hill. It's so so the night before we met her, 84 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: and so I'm like, you know, in the presence of 85 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: literally the greatest yeah, and she's very She famously doesn't 86 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: show up for. 87 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,279 Speaker 2: Things I know, or she shows up like three hours. 88 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: Late or that. Yeah, and this event they didn't know 89 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: until that day that she was confirmed and they were 90 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: honoring her album was being honored into the Grammy Hall 91 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: of Fame, and yeah, the last minute, showed up and 92 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: had had her kids with her. She was there the 93 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: whole time. And then I got a note. I got 94 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: a text from someone at the Grammy saying missus Hill 95 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: has agreed to take photos with all the artists upstairs 96 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: and the artist lounge after the show, which I then 97 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: showed to Elle and she's like, oh, we'll stay for 98 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: the whole thing we got and which is obviously like 99 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: this huge honor, and she you know, it took him 100 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 1: for her to get upstairs being a shit to like 101 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: move through a pretty big crowd and right, but then 102 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: after the whole event, like, we just went back to 103 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: the hotel which was right next to the venue, and 104 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 1: we were sitting in the lobby bar just hanging out 105 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: with some people we met that night, and lo and behold, 106 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,440 Speaker 1: here comes miss Lauren Hill like her some of her 107 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: team were there, and she came down and just hung 108 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: out at the bar like staff were getting their photos 109 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 1: with her. It was a pretty amazing and she could 110 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,159 Speaker 1: not have been sweeter. 111 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 3: Okay, well that's lovely to hear because I've always heard 112 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,839 Speaker 3: mixed things just because she doesn't show up. 113 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 2: There's all the stories you can read about her. 114 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,559 Speaker 1: She could not have and like she literally hasn't aged 115 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: a day, like your skin is perfect. She's beautiful, and 116 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: like it's just you know, it's that thing that you 117 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: doesn't even have a word. There's like a glow around 118 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:29,919 Speaker 1: her and she likes, yeah, an aura, and she was 119 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 1: just yeah, you're like, no, there is a word for that. 120 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: Let me tell you the word. 121 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 3: Actually, finally he's like, there isn't even a word for it, 122 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 3: No there. 123 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,160 Speaker 1: Is, And I mean she just has that glow and 124 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: it was very very sweet, and I didn't I was 125 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 1: too scared to ask for a photo. 126 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 3: I don't blame you. Yeah, you can just live vicariously 127 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 3: through l Yeah I did. 128 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 1: I did take the photos at el posted, so I 129 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 1: you know, my cameras photos of miss Lauren Hill. 130 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,039 Speaker 3: So oh my god. Well I'm so jealous because I'm 131 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 3: such a fan of hers. That's amazing. I'm really glad 132 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 3: you guys to do that. 133 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. 134 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 3: Well, your week sounds way more eventful than mine. 135 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: Yeah wow. 136 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 3: I mean all I can report is that muscle muscle 137 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 3: relaxers are weird. I do not really like the way 138 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,600 Speaker 3: they made me feel, but I have no choice. It's 139 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 3: like I feel like I'm just floating around. My friends 140 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 3: are calling me Hi Kelly because I just don't have 141 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 3: like a I don't know, I don't have a normal 142 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 3: response to anything really this week. I guess that's what 143 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 3: happens when you have no fucks left to give. 144 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 1: Great. Yeah, well, I mean I can't tell if it's 145 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 1: the pain that's slowing you down or if it's the drugs. 146 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 2: But it's probably a combination of both. 147 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: It's like a definite, like little motor delay that I'm sensing. 148 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: Oh really, spoke. I haven't spoken to you since it happened. 149 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 2: I just down for the count. Man, just down for 150 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 2: the count. 151 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 3: I have hurt my back before you asked me this 152 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 3: before we get on the podcast, and you know, I 153 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 3: was an athlete and stuff like, I've definitely had injury, 154 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:01,720 Speaker 3: but there is nothing like. 155 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 2: What I've ever had. Well I'm sorry, I guess. 156 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 3: There is nothing like what I'm experiencing right now as 157 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 3: far as just having an injury and then having the spasm. 158 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 3: Like the guy who I saw acupuncture with told me 159 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 3: that the reason our body spasms, especially in our back, 160 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 3: is because it's trying to protect your spine. So in 161 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 3: a way, it's like a beautiful thing that my body 162 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 3: is doing that. Our bodies are amazing. Whenever I find 163 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 3: out these things that they do just like that, like 164 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 3: it's like stop doing that movement, You're going to fuck 165 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 3: up your spine. But it sends such pain through my 166 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 3: body that I'm like, I want to throw up. 167 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: It's just I've mine. The injury that I got today 168 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: is not as severe, but I feel like if I 169 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: did the wrong if I moved the wrong. 170 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 2: Way, I could go there. 171 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: And so I'm trying to be really good in I'm 172 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:00,160 Speaker 1: icing and I took iboprofen. But I'm getting ahead of it. 173 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: I have been there, and this is what I asked 174 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: Kelly before the podcast, Like there is and for those 175 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: of you who have never hurt your back, there is 176 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 1: the thought that like this feels like it feels like 177 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: a permanent injury, Like you will never walk again, you 178 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: will never stand again, you will never work out again. 179 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: And that's a really scary thing because you know, sometimes 180 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: it's really hard to control your thoughts and it just 181 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: you know, but you will walk again, you will like 182 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: you will be fine. God, But it's that kind of pain. 183 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 1: So I feel for you well. 184 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,439 Speaker 3: And also you don't realize how much you use your 185 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,319 Speaker 3: back until it's messed up, like it is a part 186 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,320 Speaker 3: of every movement you make, every breath you take, every 187 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 3: like shift in the bed like I have took so 188 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,320 Speaker 3: for granted that I can lay on my back, lay 189 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 3: on my side, lay on the other side, lay on 190 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 3: my stomach, like those movements right now for me? Are 191 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 3: I mean maybe before yesterday, I mean that has been 192 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 3: to have had to make such a conscious thought process 193 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 3: effort that I don't even know what I just said. 194 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Like I've had to make 195 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,439 Speaker 3: such an effort to think through every single motion because 196 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 3: it would send my back into another spasm. 197 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: And so putting one putting. 198 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 2: On underwear, I have not worn underwear in a week. 199 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 1: I can't. I put it on underwear after my shower 200 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 1: did and I was like, oh god. 201 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 3: I took the first shower in four days. I mean, 202 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,439 Speaker 3: I'm sorry, that's disgusting, but like I just literally could 203 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 3: not do it, and I couldn't change clothes because even 204 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 3: going to sit on a toilet is like the biggest accomplishment. 205 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 3: It's like going to the bathroom has been the biggest 206 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:39,840 Speaker 3: movement I've had right up until yesterday. So anyway, we 207 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 3: are going to answer some listener questions and again, like 208 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 3: I said, let's just see what comes out of my mouth. 209 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 2: That will be. 210 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 3: So it's just as much of a guessing game for 211 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 3: me as it is for you guys. So you specifically 212 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 3: requested a couple and I'll make sure to make note 213 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 3: of those when we get to them. 214 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 2: But here's our first question. 215 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 4: Hey, you guys, my name is Wren, and I would 216 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 4: love some advice on where I seem to find myself currently, 217 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 4: which is this place of walking this very thin tight 218 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 4: rope between keeping the faith and just saying fuck it, 219 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 4: because it seems like I've held the vision, I've tried 220 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 4: to manifest, I'm being a good person. I'm very self 221 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 4: aware and notice my fault in specific relationships or specific outcomes. 222 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 4: But the needle's not moving at all, not in the 223 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 4: direction I want it to or the direction I don't 224 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 4: want it to. It's just I'm sort of at the standstill. 225 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:49,200 Speaker 4: So any advice that you guys have on when to 226 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 4: say fuck it and when to just keep the faith 227 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 4: other than like the cliche just keep going, because how 228 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 4: do you make yourself keep going? And it seems there 229 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 4: is literally no point and living the spiritual life when 230 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 4: you feel like other spiritual people are not living their 231 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:16,439 Speaker 4: best life. They are constantly going through waves of all 232 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 4: the different emotions because they're open to feeling all the 233 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 4: different emotions. So it's just it's a sticky place to 234 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 4: be and it's not fun. So what do you guys 235 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 4: do for that? 236 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,839 Speaker 2: Would you like to start chup? Or do you want me? 237 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 1: Well, I guess I have a question for her, like 238 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 1: is this about Do you think this question is about 239 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 1: relationships or just life in general? 240 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 3: I think what I took from it is, you know 241 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 3: when you go through those moments in life where you 242 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 3: kind of get your hopes up that things are about 243 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,320 Speaker 3: to work out. And I mean I think she mentioned 244 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 3: being spiritual, so it's like maybe she's putting a lot 245 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 3: of effort into that and doing the right thing, doing 246 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 3: all the meditations, doing the manifestation, and it's like, you know, 247 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 3: how you just get these all these people preaching out 248 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 3: you to do all this shit and then your life 249 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,439 Speaker 3: and life great perfect yeah, and she's like and nothing's 250 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 3: fucking happening. 251 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 1: Right, Well, Okay, that puts a little more contact on 252 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: it for me. I will say this life is designed, 253 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: I think to suck for most people, like it is not. 254 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 1: Life is not easy, and I think that a little 255 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 1: bit of like fuck it is actually really good in life, 256 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,440 Speaker 1: because you know, we don't know how long we're going 257 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,680 Speaker 1: to live. Nothing is guaranteed in our lives, so we 258 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 1: don't know how long we're going to live. Today could 259 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: be our last day, you know, hopefully it's not. But 260 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,840 Speaker 1: I think living life every day with a little bit 261 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: of fuck it is a really good way to go 262 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: and not just fuck it, fuck them, fuck those fuck 263 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: y'all all of that, because the energy should be all 264 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: of your love and energy should be or the majority 265 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: of it should be directed towards your self to make 266 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 1: your existence exactly what you want it to be, because 267 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: life isn't going to give you that, Like you just 268 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: have to make it and while knowing that you're never 269 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: gonna get to perfection because you know, money, loved ones, romance, 270 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: all of those things like don't give you everything that 271 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:25,199 Speaker 1: you want from them, not to mention like just out 272 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 1: of life in general. So I think it's like you 273 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: kind of just have to know that, like life kind 274 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 1: of sucks but is also fucking amazing at the same time, 275 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 1: and be okay with that now. Then you know, what 276 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 1: are the practical things that you can do? Is like 277 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: I think you just have to seek out the things 278 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,079 Speaker 1: that really make you the happiest and you can't worry 279 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 1: about where all the other cards fall. Because if it 280 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: means that, like you have to move away from your 281 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,679 Speaker 1: best friends and your family because you live in a 282 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 1: place that doesn't have a beach, but the beach brings 283 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,679 Speaker 1: you the most joy, then fucking move to the beach. 284 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: Like you have to be willing to lose some of 285 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 1: the things that you love to gain the things that 286 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: you love the most, and then I think it starts 287 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 1: to feel as close to perfect as it can be. 288 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 3: Oh my god, that was such a good answer. Literally, 289 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, I was taking notes. I mean, that 290 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 3: was so good. And also you took some of the 291 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 3: things I was going to say. So I'm just going 292 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 3: to reiterate a couple of things that Chip said because 293 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 3: I totally agree with you. And I remember when I 294 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 3: started my recovery journey, which I guess was like eleven 295 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 3: years ago now, which is crazy to think about, but 296 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 3: I remember feeling like, Okay, I'm going to all these meetings, 297 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 3: going to therapy, meditating, I'm praying, so my life is 298 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 3: just going to get easy and good, and like you said, 299 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 3: and like we've talked about with Blessing Offer on this podcast, 300 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 3: life is going to be life in like life be 301 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 3: life in all and the whole reason we're here is 302 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 3: to learn all these lessons and to evolve and all 303 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,960 Speaker 3: this stuff. So it kind of feels like it has 304 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 3: to be hard, because if it wasn't, we would never grow. 305 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 2: But when you're in the. 306 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 3: Place of the Oh my god, I just hate everything, 307 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 3: nothing's happening, you're defeated or whatever. I just think you're right, 308 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 3: Like you just say fuck it, you say fuck it, 309 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 3: you like lean into the fucke energy and let yourself 310 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 3: be there for a second. I'm not saying go blow 311 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 3: up your life, but if that's how you're feeling, I 312 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 3: think it's really important to actually let yourself feel those 313 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 3: feelings and not try to be perfect and not try 314 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 3: to be this perfect student of life where you're like, 315 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 3: I'm doing all the right things and it's not working out. 316 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 3: Maybe the energy that you need to come with today 317 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,560 Speaker 3: is just to be fucking mad and like right defeated. 318 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 3: Like that's okay. I will say it is also tricky because, 319 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 3: like I hear her when she's saying, like all these 320 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 3: spiritual people I know are feeling all the things and 321 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 3: like they're all struggling. And then it's like if you 322 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 3: look outside of that, sometimes you start to compare to 323 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 3: people who you don't see that doesn't mean they're not 324 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 3: doing it, but that you don't see doing like they're 325 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 3: just like living their life as assholes basically, and you're like, 326 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,840 Speaker 3: how the fuck are they succeeding? 327 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:07,040 Speaker 5: Though? 328 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 3: How do they have all the stuff that I want, 329 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 3: and I'm sitting over here I don't have the relationship 330 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 3: I don't want I want, I don't have the job 331 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 3: that I want. Like, it just doesn't seem fair. And 332 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 3: so somebody taught me the trick of like, when you 333 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 3: see something in someone else's life that you want, don't 334 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 3: compare yourself and feel bad about it, but go, oh, 335 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 3: I want that, and put that in your reservoir of 336 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 3: like things to build your life after. Like, if somebody 337 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 3: has the relationship you want, start, yeah, be like I 338 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 3: want that, and like lean into that energy versus like 339 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 3: they have that I don't have. 340 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 1: That also is always going to be different to that. 341 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 3: Everybody's path is different. Yeah, But I do think you 342 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 3: can take notes instead of comparing yourself and letting yourself 343 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 3: feel bad about your life. I think you can take 344 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 3: notes of things in other people's lives that you find 345 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 3: yourself wanted and just that's that's all it is, is 346 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 3: like a oh, I'm feeling like I want to compare 347 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 3: to that, or I'm feeling jealous of that. That just 348 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 3: means that that's a dream that you have that hasn't 349 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,400 Speaker 3: come to fruition yet, Right, But yeah, but like if 350 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 3: you're on some sort of spiritual or healing journey, you're 351 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 3: probably learning how to feel all the feelings and so 352 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,199 Speaker 3: you're gonna feel the bad ones too. That's like just 353 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 3: a part of it. So it's learning how to take 354 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,160 Speaker 3: care of yourself in those moments. And like you said, 355 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 3: go do something that you love, Like, go do something 356 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 3: that lights you up. Go treat yourself to something go 357 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 3: I don't know, or lay on the couch all day 358 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 3: and watch TV for a day, Like don't do it 359 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 3: for a month to where you're like losing you know, 360 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,400 Speaker 3: you're blowing up your life, like I said, But it's 361 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 3: okay to let yourself just be for a second and 362 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 3: just like do something you want to do, not the thing. 363 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,640 Speaker 1: And if that means watching a ton of television, that's okay. 364 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 1: And you find that that makes you happier, then there's 365 00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:58,359 Speaker 1: your answer. 366 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 3: Or you just don't have anything else in than you 367 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,399 Speaker 3: for the day, like I've had to do that this week, 368 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 3: Like I really hate not. I was like, okay, I'm 369 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 3: stuck in bed basically in one position, but you know 370 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 3: I'll do a bunch of computer work. Well, now I'm 371 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,159 Speaker 3: on all these pills that like I can't see straight, 372 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 3: so I couldn't even think, and I had to really 373 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,640 Speaker 3: like settle myself into just this place of acceptance of like, 374 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 3: this is not going to last forever, this too shall pass. 375 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 3: How do I make the best of what's going on 376 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 3: right now? And just like lean in? And so I've 377 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 3: really tried to lean in to like rest and I 378 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,440 Speaker 3: can't even really read a book. So it's like I've 379 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 3: been watching the show Hacks on HBO. Do you know 380 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 3: that I love that show? 381 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: Are third season already? 382 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 2: I am on the third season? 383 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 1: So fun gean smart is. 384 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:45,680 Speaker 5: The best. 385 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, So just find something that brings you joy for 386 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 3: the day and know that this is temporary, this too 387 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 3: shall pass, and life is just full of ups and 388 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 3: downs and good and bad and eventually. 389 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: It has to go back up to quote Teddy Roosevelt, 390 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 1: the twenty six president of the United States, comparison is 391 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 1: the thief of joy. That is true, And trying to 392 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:22,479 Speaker 1: find your happiness in comparison to other people's lives is 393 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: not going to fulfill you. You got to find it 394 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:31,200 Speaker 1: within your life, and it's there, you know, it might 395 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,600 Speaker 1: not just be, It may not be exactly the way 396 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 1: that you hope it looks. 397 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 2: But usually if you get out of the way, it's better. 398 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. I you know, I'm somebody that like presents pretty 399 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 1: happy most of the time. But it's like I have 400 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 1: my internal demons that I fight with all the time. 401 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 5: You know. 402 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 1: I think people don't like me. I think I'm not 403 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 1: welcome in places. I think I'm never going to find love. 404 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,200 Speaker 1: All of the things, the things that we all think 405 00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 1: and we worry about. But I'm also like, maybe that 406 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,920 Speaker 1: is maybe people don't like me. Maybe I won't ever 407 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: find love. Maybe that is my truth. And that's okay 408 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: because I'm gonna hopefully I wake up tomorrow and I 409 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: get another shot at doing it. And and really all 410 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:19,919 Speaker 1: you can be is you. And in my last relationship, 411 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,159 Speaker 1: that was the fight that I used to have all 412 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 1: the time, Like I was like, I cannot be anything 413 00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,120 Speaker 1: other than me, and I will not change to make 414 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,640 Speaker 1: somebody else happy because I have to fight every day 415 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 1: to make myself happy. I will change things that I 416 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,359 Speaker 1: can change that I am doing that are wrong, but 417 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: I am not going to be something other than me. 418 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 1: And if there are parts about me that people don't like, 419 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,919 Speaker 1: I have to be okay with that. Because otherwise it's 420 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 1: a it's a losing game too. It's like because then 421 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 1: you then you realize, oh, well, I can change that 422 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,360 Speaker 1: part of myself to placate that person. But but now 423 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: this person doesn't like that in me, Like no, fuck that, 424 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 1: like either like me or you don't. And you know, 425 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 1: I try to bring and have that perspective all the time. 426 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: But there are good and bad days and everyone has them. 427 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: I don't care how good their life looks on. 428 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 3: Instagram, absolutely And it's just the corkscrew metaphor always comes 429 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,639 Speaker 3: back into my mind too, because it's like life is 430 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 3: a corkscrew. I want it to be just this uphill climb, 431 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 3: but it's just constantly rotating. You know, there's upstairs downs, 432 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 3: there's upstairs downs, and maybe it's just a season of 433 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 3: some things not playing out. Been there, and sometimes they 434 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 3: last a lot longer than you want them to. But 435 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,159 Speaker 3: you know, you could do we could say the thing 436 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,199 Speaker 3: of like, well, go right down five things you're grateful for, 437 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 3: but that would probably make this person want to punch 438 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 3: us in the face. I would imagine when you get 439 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,960 Speaker 3: to the space of trying, you want to get out 440 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 3: of your funk. I do think that that actually helps, 441 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 3: Like just I don't know, my dad texts me every 442 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 3: morning and he's like, son came up, you know, like 443 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,440 Speaker 3: it's just we There are things to be grateful for 444 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:54,359 Speaker 3: at all times, and you can't feel gratitude and anxiety 445 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 3: at the same time. So if you get sick of 446 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 3: feeling like you're sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, 447 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 3: there are tools like gratitude list and even just connecting 448 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 3: with friends and other people that can help pull. 449 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 2: You out of that phone. 450 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, call an old friend who like you, still love 451 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 1: to laugh with. 452 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, go do service work. It's the thing 453 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,160 Speaker 3: you don't want to do. But helping someone else out 454 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 3: is always helpful too. So yeah, okay, next question. 455 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Tyler from last Casts. 456 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,359 Speaker 5: Again. It's a little awkward, but I'm wondering if you 457 00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 5: guys have any tips on first degree skin burns. Accidentally 458 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 5: burned my penis on a clothing clothing iron. I was 459 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 5: trying to, you know, tidy up my shirt for last night, 460 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,119 Speaker 5: and it kind of looks like someone laid my penis 461 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,760 Speaker 5: on a grill. It's not very cute. So I'm looking 462 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,119 Speaker 5: for like maybe some ointment or a salve or you know, 463 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 5: just something to make it look a little nicer. Any 464 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 5: any help would be very much appreciate it. 465 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 3: This is the problem with me posting on Instagram for 466 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 3: listeners to go leave questions, is that our friends chime 467 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:11,400 Speaker 3: in and think it's funny to go leave questions like this. 468 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,440 Speaker 1: He made this up? 469 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:14,399 Speaker 2: No, he did not. 470 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,440 Speaker 3: I did actually get this voicemail and I text him. 471 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,360 Speaker 3: I'm like, is this serious? And he's like, no, I'm 472 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,399 Speaker 3: legit serious. That did happen? Can I say something else? 473 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,440 Speaker 3: I hate the word ointment? 474 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, sala is kind of gross too. 475 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 3: That doesn't bother me as much as ointment. Why does 476 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 3: that bother me so much? 477 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,679 Speaker 1: I think ointment is a gross because it sounds wet 478 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:35,919 Speaker 1: like drip. 479 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,040 Speaker 3: I think it is also a growth ointment ointment Like 480 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,400 Speaker 3: it's just like a picture someone like pursing their mouth. 481 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 3: Really weird and ointment. I don't know, I just don't 482 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,440 Speaker 3: like it, like how people don't like moist. Yeah, ointment 483 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 3: really kind of thing. 484 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 1: Does it sound wet like that or gross? Words? But like, 485 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 1: I've never burnt my dick, so I've had obviously minor 486 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 1: burns on my skin. 487 00:23:58,800 --> 00:23:59,119 Speaker 2: Okay. 488 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 1: Patrol a thin layer of petroleum jelly is good because. 489 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 2: It's just a thin layer. 490 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:08,040 Speaker 1: Though, yeah, well you don't need like, who needs a 491 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: gob it's just so specific. I just well, because it will. 492 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 1: It creates like a membrane to keep back her from 493 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:16,400 Speaker 1: being out and it. 494 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,440 Speaker 3: Keeps another word, I don't like membrane. I didn't realize it, 495 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 3: so you just said it. But not a fan? Not 496 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:22,440 Speaker 3: a fan? 497 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: How about layer a thin layer of protection from bacteria 498 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: getting into the burn and it will keep it clean, 499 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 1: because that's obviously the most important part is you don't 500 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 1: want it your dick to get infected. 501 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:36,879 Speaker 2: That would be a tragedy. 502 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 1: Second of all, let's take our shirts off when we're 503 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:45,320 Speaker 1: ironing them. Moving amen, And you might want to you 504 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: might like, I don't know how bad this burn is, 505 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 1: but you may want to consult a plastic position. 506 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,640 Speaker 2: Oh, a plastic So you went all the way. 507 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,080 Speaker 1: Well, he said it ain't pretty, like we all know 508 00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 1: Tyler loves his pretty dick. I hope it's not permanent. Unpretty. 509 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm thinking two thoughts right now. Tyler is listening, dying, laughing, 510 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 3: and my mom is listening like, who the fuck is Tyler? 511 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: And for the record, I don't know if his dick 512 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: is pretty or not. 513 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,680 Speaker 3: But well, thank you for clarifying, because I know that's 514 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 3: exactly what our listeners were worrying about during this question. 515 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,240 Speaker 3: If anyone has burn tips, you can email them to 516 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,639 Speaker 3: the edge velvidge dot com and we'll pass along to 517 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:26,439 Speaker 3: our friend Tyler. 518 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 1: Tyler burn tip a burn tip. I Yeah. 519 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 3: One of the things I will also reiterate that Chip 520 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,760 Speaker 3: just said is take off your clothes when you're ironing 521 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,439 Speaker 3: or steaming. Like people on set always ask me, well, 522 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 3: can you just hit that with the steamer when it's 523 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 3: already on. I'm like, absolutely not. You don't even know 524 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 3: because the heat, even from like the actual steam can 525 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 3: burn you. So of course be careful out there everyone. Yeah, 526 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 3: and then take care of your dick. 527 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the feedback we are. 528 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 1: I mean, rub as much ointment as you want on it, Tyler. 529 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 2: Okay, a membrane of a thin layer. 530 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 1: Over and over and over again. 531 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 2: Rob ointment on that ointment. 532 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,399 Speaker 3: Okay, this is going too far. Let's get to the 533 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 3: next question. 534 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 1: This is Dallas calling. 535 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 6: My first question for Killy and Chip. Okay, sex drive 536 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,119 Speaker 6: in your forties? Why is it all over the place? 537 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,760 Speaker 6: Half of us are as horny as a fifteen year 538 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:30,919 Speaker 6: old boy and the other half couldn't get wet in 539 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 6: the water. So why is it all over the place. 540 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 6: Obviously we know it's hormones. What do we do about 541 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 6: it if we are. 542 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,160 Speaker 2: Not feeling it? 543 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 6: How do you still connected to your partner or yourself 544 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 6: for that matter. 545 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:52,680 Speaker 2: M tricky, tricky, this is this is a tough one 546 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 2: for you to answer. 547 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,480 Speaker 1: I would bet well. I mean, look, I am in 548 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 1: my forties. 549 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 2: So I guess you did have the low T situation. 550 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 1: Yeah I did. Yeah, I had. I'm on testosterone because 551 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 1: I had low tea. And you know, I think sort 552 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,639 Speaker 1: of my sex drive comes in waves, Like some some 553 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,920 Speaker 1: days I'm like I'd fuck anybody and everybody, and then 554 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:21,480 Speaker 1: there's days where I don't even think about it. I 555 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: I just pulled up a little, quick, little Google search 556 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: because obviously I'm not I'm not a sex therapist, but 557 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 1: these are some of the things that they're saying. One 558 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 1: thing is to practice good communication, which I think, you know, 559 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,879 Speaker 1: we talk about that a lot, like it applies across 560 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: good lots of things. So if like you're not feeling 561 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:43,199 Speaker 1: it with your partner, communicate that and let them know 562 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: that it's more about you than them, because then I 563 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: think you can move to find solutions together. Regular exercise 564 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:57,159 Speaker 1: I think helps. And I've noticed that the healthier I've gotten, 565 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: the greater my sex drive is. And I don't know 566 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:04,400 Speaker 1: if that is sort of a hormonal thing or if 567 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 1: it's a mental thing that I'm feeling better about myself. 568 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,000 Speaker 1: So probably there's a confidence thing that comes into that. 569 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: I think this list says try new things, like if 570 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,639 Speaker 1: they're you know, maybe your sex life got stale and 571 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: it is an external force that is affecting your sex drive. Obviously, 572 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:27,160 Speaker 1: if she's talking about getting wet, there's that word again. 573 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: If she's talking about getting wet, that's a physiological thing. 574 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 1: But I do think that the mental part plays some 575 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,360 Speaker 1: part in that. I don't I know, I'm a vagina expert, 576 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 1: but I don't know about what it gets away. 577 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 2: I'm sure they have an ointment for that. 578 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's probably annointment to keep it moist. This is 579 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: this is I like this suggestion create a little mystery. 580 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 1: It says a little mystery can fuel sexual attraction, while 581 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: over while oversharing can decrease desire. So, you know, if 582 00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 1: I don't know Alice's marital status or relationship status. But 583 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: you know, like I would imagine like this it might 584 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: be a little TMI, but like if you're like farting 585 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,480 Speaker 1: around your you know, like doing unsexy things because you're 586 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 1: in a very comfortable situation, that'd be like you become 587 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: less sexy to your partner and vice versa, Like if 588 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: your partner's partenering around all the time. So obviously then 589 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,560 Speaker 1: you know, it says consider medication, So talk to your 590 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: doctor about it because it could. Like for me, it 591 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: was like I saw a major change when I started 592 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 1: taking testosterone and it wasn't something that I was even 593 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 1: aware of until I got like my blood work done. 594 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: So that can that can that can help. And this 595 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:51,959 Speaker 1: says to eat eat certain foods, foods that contain phytogestrins 596 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:58,040 Speaker 1: like soy, flax, yams, lentils can help replace lower estrogen 597 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: levels if that's something that's gone going on in your body. 598 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: So those are a few tips that hopefully, I mean, 599 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: I don't know what causes it in the greater population, 600 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 1: because I think there's so many external things, Like you know, 601 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 1: I don't know where Alice lives. She could live in 602 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: a really remote part of Virginia, that has two hundred 603 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 1: and fifty people, and that would probably make my pussy 604 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,760 Speaker 1: dry too, you know, like where it's like if if 605 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,880 Speaker 1: there's no pool to swim in and you've you've had 606 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 1: your fun with the people that you would be willing 607 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 1: to hook up with, then it's like, God, is my 608 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 1: sex life over? And that's you know, a depressing thing. 609 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 1: But if you live in a big city where there's 610 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,720 Speaker 1: a deeper pool to swim in, then maybe go to 611 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 1: another bar or a restaurant or something, do something that 612 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 1: you've never done before, join a club of like minded individuals, 613 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: and maybe you'll meet some people that like get your 614 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 1: your engine rev. I don't know, like I. 615 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:55,960 Speaker 2: Think those are great ideas. 616 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 3: I mean basically, I'm just going to do the same 617 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,160 Speaker 3: thing or a second most of the things you said, 618 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 3: because I think they were really great. But I know 619 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 3: that she mentioned the hormone thing, and so obviously I 620 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 3: would say, yes, first things first, go get your hormone 621 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 3: levels checked, because you can't really find a solution unless 622 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,800 Speaker 3: you know what the problem is. So it's like, see 623 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 3: what's happening, and if it is something like that, they're 624 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,320 Speaker 3: actually I mean I've had doctors talk about like medicine 625 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,920 Speaker 3: for women, but there are a lot of natural remedies 626 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 3: for this too. I actually have not checked my hormone 627 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 3: levels yet, but there's Moon Juice, which is a company 628 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,120 Speaker 3: I love. They have this thing called sex dust, and 629 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 3: you basically can put it. It's like a little outer. 630 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:36,840 Speaker 3: You can put it a scoop of it in your coffee, 631 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 3: and basically what it's supposed to do is make you 632 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,840 Speaker 3: more even throughout the month, which for women, you know, 633 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,560 Speaker 3: we're all the way up and down all the time, 634 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 3: and especially as you get older, if you start going 635 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,720 Speaker 3: through like perimenopause or things like that. So maybe just 636 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 3: keeping things a little more even keel can make it 637 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 3: a little more predictable and kind of Also, what I'm 638 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 3: feeling is like I just want to get ahead of this, 639 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 3: like before things start to dip too low or go 640 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 3: too high or whatever it is. I don't really know 641 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:07,480 Speaker 3: the exact terminology there, but just to keep things regulated. 642 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 3: And if you do that, or if you do check 643 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,000 Speaker 3: your hormones and there's still no issues, I think your 644 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 3: right chip with like maybe it goes into then analyzing 645 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 3: what's happening in your relationship actually, like are you still 646 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 3: courting each other is your partner, like setting up dates. 647 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 3: There are all those things that really do impact our 648 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 3: sex drives and we try to pretend like they don't. 649 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 3: But when you're in these long term relationships, you have 650 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 3: to keep it interesting and do something different, like you said, 651 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 3: or introduce toys into the bedroom. There's lots of lubes 652 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 3: out there. Susan Bratton's always the one that we like 653 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,840 Speaker 3: recommend because she literally has an article about everything, every 654 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 3: kind of toy you could want, every kind of lube, 655 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 3: and we've talked a little bit too about finding the 656 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 3: right lube for women like that doesn't affect your pH balance. 657 00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 3: So Susan's a great one to check out for that 658 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 3: for women. Do you listen to the Sex with Emily podcast? 659 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:05,160 Speaker 2: Chev have you ever? 660 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:05,959 Speaker 1: I don't know. 661 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,640 Speaker 3: Okay, she's also a great one to follow from a 662 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 3: woman's perspective, but she has a great Instagram too and 663 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 3: just gives tips like this and talks really openly about 664 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 3: sex and different stages of your life. But I mean, 665 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,040 Speaker 3: if Susan Braddon taught us nothing else, your sex life 666 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 3: does not need to be over. If you're in your forties, 667 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:29,440 Speaker 3: it's just beginning. It's literally just beginning, So definitely first 668 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,080 Speaker 3: things first, and then I think Chef you give some 669 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 3: really good tips on specifics. 670 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 1: There you go. 671 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 4: Do you guys have any advice for staying true to 672 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 4: yourself and holding boundaries in adult friendships, especially when it 673 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:50,760 Speaker 4: comes to maybe giving your friend advice on who they're 674 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 4: dating or other friendships that they are in that you 675 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:59,600 Speaker 4: don't want to open yourself up to be in, Like 676 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 4: how do you keep the integrity and the boundaries within 677 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 4: yourself and also keep that friendship attack and not hurt 678 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 4: that person's feelings or just make it not be awkward 679 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,920 Speaker 4: when you know, maybe you get invited to something and 680 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,880 Speaker 4: other people are going to be there and your energy 681 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:24,439 Speaker 4: doesn't really click with theirs, or you know your best 682 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,240 Speaker 4: friend is dating someone and you're like, this is a 683 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:31,360 Speaker 4: absolute terrible idea, Like is there a nice way to 684 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,960 Speaker 4: say that? Or do you just keep it to yourself? 685 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:42,040 Speaker 2: That is a tough one. 686 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:47,439 Speaker 1: It's interesting because I'm sort of grappling with that right 687 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:52,600 Speaker 1: now with a friend and I've asked, I've asked this 688 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:59,839 Speaker 1: question of some friends to help me sort of approach it, 689 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,200 Speaker 1: and I haven't yet. But the advice that I've agreed 690 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 1: with or that I've like had resonated with me is 691 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,239 Speaker 1: that you just have to do it and you have 692 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,920 Speaker 1: to be with you. You have to say something in 693 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 1: the kindest way you can because and you have to 694 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,120 Speaker 1: be willing to lose that friend over it, because if 695 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,799 Speaker 1: you truly believe that your friend is walking down a 696 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,720 Speaker 1: path that is bad for them, you are only being 697 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,200 Speaker 1: a bad friend if you don't say something. But you 698 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:32,920 Speaker 1: have to do it with love, and you have to 699 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:37,759 Speaker 1: deliver the news, you know, in a loving way, and 700 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,920 Speaker 1: like you have to make it very clear that you 701 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,560 Speaker 1: are willing to lose them as a friend because you 702 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,720 Speaker 1: think that what they are, the way that they are acting, 703 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 1: or who they're with or whatever it is, is not 704 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 1: good for them. And I think in the long run, 705 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:58,279 Speaker 1: your friendship will prevail because people tend to come to 706 00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,600 Speaker 1: their senses and but in the short term, like they 707 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,279 Speaker 1: might be upset with you and they might not want 708 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: to hang out with you. But if there's if they're 709 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: dating someone that you can't stand, you're not gonna want 710 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,200 Speaker 1: to hang out with them anyway, because they are making 711 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:16,200 Speaker 1: a choice to prioritize an awful person over your friendship. 712 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:20,279 Speaker 1: So it's probably not going to end well anyway if 713 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: they stay with that person. So my advice is think 714 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:28,600 Speaker 1: of the kindest way to address it and front load 715 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 1: it with a lot of love and maybe even with 716 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 1: questions like, hey, what is what is going on here? 717 00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,680 Speaker 1: Like I'm really confused by this, Like I love you 718 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:42,200 Speaker 1: so much and I just don't get this, and let 719 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:46,280 Speaker 1: them put it into their words. And I am scared 720 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,319 Speaker 1: as fuck to have this conversation with the person that 721 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,920 Speaker 1: I need to have it with, but I, like, I 722 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:55,600 Speaker 1: cannot stop thinking about it. And you know, it's the 723 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,920 Speaker 1: and I it's not even that like the friend that 724 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: I want to talk to. I don't even it's a 725 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:04,560 Speaker 1: bad person that they're with. It's just I'm seeing them 726 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:09,839 Speaker 1: waste their time and it makes me sad, and I 727 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,280 Speaker 1: the last thing I want is to see a friend 728 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,360 Speaker 1: waste their time on something. It's like it is literally 729 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:19,480 Speaker 1: the book, he's just not that into you. Oh yeah, 730 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,239 Speaker 1: And I can see it, but my friend can't see it. 731 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:28,960 Speaker 1: And so and also maybe I'm viewing their relationship incorrectly. 732 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,560 Speaker 1: So it's like I'm not gonna know until I bring 733 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:35,240 Speaker 1: it up. So I know it's a really really fine 734 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:38,840 Speaker 1: line to walk. But I think if you let someone 735 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 1: know that you're asking or telling them something because you 736 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:46,840 Speaker 1: care about them, then their reaction is on them. 737 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,920 Speaker 3: Well, I think, so you're speaking specifically to the if 738 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,160 Speaker 3: your part, your friend is dating someone that you don't 739 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,920 Speaker 3: think is good for them. And I think she was 740 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,640 Speaker 3: giving a couple of examples because more more than anything, 741 00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,840 Speaker 3: it sounds like, you know it's that was the example. 742 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,839 Speaker 3: And then there's the other one where it's like if 743 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:04,640 Speaker 3: you don't want to go to I can't remember what 744 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,479 Speaker 3: she said, to get together, yeah, with like a bunch 745 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 3: of people that don't serve you. And so I agree 746 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,839 Speaker 3: with you on that most of the time you need 747 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:18,880 Speaker 3: to have the hard conversation. And I would also just 748 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:22,440 Speaker 3: add to that, like using both those scenarios, I really 749 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,439 Speaker 3: do think that once you get into adulthood, it's really 750 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 3: important to be honest with people about who you are, 751 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 3: what you're willing to do, what you're willing to show 752 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,040 Speaker 3: up for, and setting boundaries too. And so to go 753 00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 3: to the party example, like you know what's good for 754 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 3: you and what's not And if you are not communicating 755 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,759 Speaker 3: with your friend, your self abandoning yourself and you're like 756 00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,399 Speaker 3: I can't. I don't want to go to this, but uh, 757 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,359 Speaker 3: you know we've all been there where you're like, uh, 758 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 3: I don't really want to go to this, but like 759 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,239 Speaker 3: you have to, and so you go anyway. And there 760 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:57,480 Speaker 3: are some scenarios that I feel like it is the responsible, 761 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,319 Speaker 3: polite friend thing to do to show up. But I 762 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,160 Speaker 3: do think you can always have boundaries to be able 763 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:03,520 Speaker 3: to take care of yourself, Like you don't have to 764 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,000 Speaker 3: stay the whole day. You don't have to, you know, 765 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 3: you can do it in ways that work with you. 766 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,960 Speaker 3: And if you feel like it needs to be communicated 767 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,040 Speaker 3: to your friend, I think you just say the truth, 768 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,600 Speaker 3: like or say your availability, like I have an hour 769 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,640 Speaker 3: that I can give you on that day or whatever. 770 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,600 Speaker 3: You know. Then with the friends and the dating, I mean, 771 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:24,120 Speaker 3: it is really tough. But I think there's two things 772 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,920 Speaker 3: that popped out to me. First, I think you have 773 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:30,280 Speaker 3: to ask, though, like is your friend asking you for advice? 774 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:34,359 Speaker 3: Because I think there's two lines here, and one is 775 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,120 Speaker 3: I do think it's really important if you see your 776 00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:39,040 Speaker 3: friend in a toxic scenario to say that, because we 777 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,799 Speaker 3: do all get blinders when we're within a relationship. But 778 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,680 Speaker 3: if it's just a simple case of you personally don't 779 00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:48,200 Speaker 3: like the person, but your friend is really happy. I 780 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,440 Speaker 3: don't think that that's the time to say something. I 781 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,319 Speaker 3: think that's like the time where you have to let 782 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 3: them live their life and if that impacts your friendship, 783 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,600 Speaker 3: it does. But if it's if they're really happy and 784 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:02,279 Speaker 3: they're being treated really well and it's just a personal preference. 785 00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,239 Speaker 3: Are they asking you for advice? Are they saying, like, 786 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,239 Speaker 3: what do you think about so and so? 787 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:09,960 Speaker 2: Or what do you know? What do you think about Tom? 788 00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 2: Like blah blah blah? 789 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,839 Speaker 3: Or are they just living their life and you're gonna 790 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 3: butt in and be like, do you really think Tom's 791 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:19,520 Speaker 3: good for you? Like the unsolicited advice to me is 792 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:23,399 Speaker 3: also they're just a fine line between like communicating because 793 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:28,680 Speaker 3: you have true concern or communicating because you just you 794 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,719 Speaker 3: just don't like the person. You're like uncomfortable in this 795 00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,960 Speaker 3: situation and you want it to go away for that reason. 796 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,879 Speaker 3: That's controlling and manipulative. 797 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,480 Speaker 2: So I don't know. 798 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,080 Speaker 3: I do think you just have to ask yourself some 799 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:44,160 Speaker 3: questions about your motivation. But I do think that honesty 800 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:48,520 Speaker 3: is the best policy. I really do, And you know 801 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,440 Speaker 3: you can say it kindly and deliver the information with 802 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,960 Speaker 3: a lot of grace. But if you can't be honest 803 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 3: with your friends, like how do you even have a relationship? 804 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,160 Speaker 3: There's no trust. 805 00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 1: There, right, I do? It gets like being honest about 806 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:06,360 Speaker 1: those situations, like especially like the example of the party, 807 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,600 Speaker 1: like it will if you've never been honest about it 808 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,719 Speaker 1: before and you've just gone, then your friend assumes you 809 00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:16,440 Speaker 1: want to go exactly. So if you're honest about it 810 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,240 Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, I'm just I'm not comfortable around 811 00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,319 Speaker 1: that group. It's not really my thing, like go have 812 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,600 Speaker 1: a good time, like I am happy to stay home. 813 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,080 Speaker 2: To me, let's go grab lunch this day. 814 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,960 Speaker 1: And that, then they'll stop. Then they'll start to learn 815 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,000 Speaker 1: that like when they're hanging out with that group, that 816 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:31,680 Speaker 1: they don't need to include you and it's not going 817 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,120 Speaker 1: to hurt your feelings. 818 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:36,200 Speaker 3: Well totally, you know, yeah, And if they have an 819 00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,000 Speaker 3: issue with it, that's really more about them because at 820 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:42,000 Speaker 3: this age, like we just got to be honest with 821 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 3: each other. I actually feel like the more I've started 822 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:48,360 Speaker 3: setting boundaries in relationship, the more my relationships have grown 823 00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:51,879 Speaker 3: and my friends trust me more because they know I'm 824 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:53,879 Speaker 3: not just doing something I don't want to do ever, 825 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,040 Speaker 3: like I'm gonna say it, or like they know that 826 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 3: if I say yes, or I'm like yeah that sounds fun, 827 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,239 Speaker 3: I mean that, or if I'm like, uh, I don't know, 828 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,880 Speaker 3: that's the truth too, But they just know that either way, 829 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,400 Speaker 3: they're going to get the truth out of me. And 830 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,440 Speaker 3: I think that makes people trust you more, even if 831 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,200 Speaker 3: it's uncomfortable. 832 00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 1: Sometimes yeah, yeah, I have a my my I'm just 833 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,280 Speaker 1: gonna put it this way. So it's well, no nobody 834 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:24,640 Speaker 1: listens that I would be talking about anyway, but people listen, 835 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 1: but none of these people listen. My sister's best friends 836 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,440 Speaker 1: sister and they're all really good friends, is married to 837 00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,240 Speaker 1: someone that my sister and her best friend fucking hate, 838 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,840 Speaker 1: like in fact, like her whole family hates this person 839 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:44,760 Speaker 1: that sucks, and so it looks like he's not invited 840 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,879 Speaker 1: to anything, Like he can't come to Christmas dinner, he 841 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:52,120 Speaker 1: doesn't go to weddings with her if the family's gonna, 842 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,680 Speaker 1: I mean, it's crazy, but like she loves she loves 843 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,040 Speaker 1: her husband. So it was like they've had to like 844 00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,120 Speaker 1: learn to live in this situation. But they also so 845 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:04,400 Speaker 1: don't hold back. But they fucking hate them. Yeah, but 846 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,040 Speaker 1: they don't hold it against her. That's good. 847 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,680 Speaker 3: So they're still able to have a friendship and they 848 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:10,440 Speaker 3: just kind. 849 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:11,120 Speaker 2: Of keep it separate. 850 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:11,600 Speaker 1: Yeah. 851 00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:12,440 Speaker 2: God, it sucks. 852 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,439 Speaker 3: I mean that's like the number one thing you want 853 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 3: is for your friends and your family to like your partner, 854 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,160 Speaker 3: you know, Like it really sucks that they don't. 855 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:23,480 Speaker 1: And they've been together for like twenty years. Oh jeez, yeah, 856 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:23,919 Speaker 1: and it's. 857 00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:25,320 Speaker 2: Been he's obviously happy. 858 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:26,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 859 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, man, that is a tough predicament. I would not 860 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:29,920 Speaker 3: want to be in it. 861 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, you guys. 862 00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:36,480 Speaker 3: That is all my muscle relaxer brain has time for today. 863 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:36,840 Speaker 1: Energy. 864 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,120 Speaker 2: I just say energy. 865 00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,160 Speaker 3: Oh my god, we're going to be back, you know what. 866 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:44,880 Speaker 3: Next week, We're going to be back better than ever, rejuvenated, 867 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:49,239 Speaker 3: no back issues, no muscle relaxers. I'm just putting that 868 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,120 Speaker 3: into the universe. And it's going to be a holiday weekend, 869 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,120 Speaker 3: so things to get excited about for sure. 870 00:43:55,120 --> 00:44:01,920 Speaker 1: Wasn't this weekend the holiday weekend? Oh it's the drugs, guys, 871 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:03,440 Speaker 1: we gotta go. 872 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,560 Speaker 3: If you guys want to email us, you can email 873 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,279 Speaker 3: us at the Edge at velvet sedge dot com, or 874 00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:09,840 Speaker 3: you can hit us up on Instagram. 875 00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,360 Speaker 2: I am at Velvet's. 876 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:15,120 Speaker 1: Edge, Chip, I'm at Chip Doors. It's CHP D O 877 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:16,279 Speaker 1: R S c H. 878 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,880 Speaker 3: You can also leave us more voicemails on either of 879 00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,560 Speaker 3: the link in our bios on Instagram. So bring us 880 00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:24,280 Speaker 3: the goods. And as you guys go into the weekend. 881 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:26,600 Speaker 3: If I get this right right now, it's. 882 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:27,880 Speaker 1: Gonna be holiday weekend. 883 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:33,200 Speaker 3: Okay, as you guys go into the holiday weekend and 884 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,719 Speaker 3: you're living on the edge, I hope you always remember too. 885 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,840 Speaker 1: Act Casual almost sucked it up. I got it. I 886 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,200 Speaker 1: was going to do something like back Casual, but 887 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,400 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, bye bye