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Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Horrors.

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Speaker 2: Sh It's bonus, bitch. Hey, I'm my vocal Beckie. I

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Speaker 2: don't know how what to do with my teeth. Have

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Speaker 2: you sucked dick yet? No? I'm surprised. I thought she

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Speaker 2: would have sucked dick last night. Last night he was

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Speaker 2: at one of his properties and uh, they're like in Connecticut,

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Speaker 2: and he was like, fuck, it's two and a half

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Speaker 2: hours to get home. I got call hold a mouth.

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Speaker 2: He's so well. I'm actually ready to make out, making

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Speaker 2: out more than sucking dick, because the making out is

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Speaker 2: really difficult. I pushed through the pain with a dick suck.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like I actually can't kiss. We're hurt

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Speaker 2: with the dick sucking. With the braziers, it would do

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Speaker 2: do oh yeah, mettle, so I would have to put

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Speaker 2: wax my whole mouth and be wax. But kissing, I

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Speaker 2: feel like I'm about to go eat. Dealing with your

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Speaker 2: teeth is so crazy.

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Speaker 1: I remember when I had lockjaw a couple years ago,

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Speaker 1: and I was so scared that I was never going

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Speaker 1: to be able to open my mouth.

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Speaker 2: Will I did enough to suck dick again.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember when I had lockjawn

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Speaker 1: to put the popsicle sticks to open up my jaw.

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Speaker 2: You don't remember when I had locked jaw, so basically

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Speaker 2: for E and T stuff. But I'm the jaw. So

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Speaker 2: the lockjaw came.

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Speaker 1: I went to the dentist to pull out one of

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Speaker 1: my because I was it was really like hurting.

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Speaker 2: So I got one of my wisdom teeth removed.

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Speaker 1: And when they did something back there, they ended up

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Speaker 1: cutting a nerve like which I literally I went back.

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Speaker 2: I said, I can't feel my tongue.

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Speaker 1: And so when I went back to like, they did

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Speaker 1: something else and bitch, I couldn't open my fucking mouth.

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Speaker 2: This is a sign for God to me right now, Mandy,

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing it yesterday when they came out got

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Speaker 2: my braces or got an X ray, one of my teeth,

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Speaker 2: teeth goes this way both and that's what it. I

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Speaker 2: have to remove it.

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Speaker 1: So that's why you see why my teeth were like

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Speaker 1: and it was getting more. I had to remove it

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Speaker 1: because it was literally moving into where it was pushing

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Speaker 1: my teeth, which is why they were getting crowded.

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Speaker 2: But the nerd thing, so this would happen the nerd

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Speaker 2: my whole life. People told me, manny to get this

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Speaker 2: wisdom tooth, take it out, And I really trust this

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Speaker 2: doctor that I have, obviously, but she's an orth and honest.

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Speaker 2: So going up the X ray and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I guess since the braces are off, I'll do the

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Speaker 2: wisdom tooth. Now. She goes, well, no oral surgeon will

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Speaker 2: give you the device. But I'm looking at this and

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Speaker 2: it's right by a nerve and I have a strong

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Speaker 2: feeling you may have an issue. She goes, they can

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Speaker 2: cut the front of the tooth, or they can extract

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Speaker 2: on tooth. She's like, but there's such a high chance. Yep,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna hit, I'm telling you, and you will feel

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Speaker 2: it for life. And I was like, oh no, I'll

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Speaker 2: do it.

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Speaker 1: Luckily it didn't go for life, but bro, I lost

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Speaker 1: sensation for my tongue and then like I literally I

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Speaker 1: just couldn't build my tongue.

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Speaker 2: I could taste, but I couldn't feel my tongue.

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Speaker 1: And then when they went back in there which I

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Speaker 1: had locked off, I couldn't open them off like more

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Speaker 1: than this. So I had to do a thing where

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Speaker 1: I had to put popsicle stix like and stack them

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Speaker 1: to get my jaw to open back up.

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Speaker 2: I hate gentle work. It's like I'm literally booking a

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Speaker 2: flight now.

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Speaker 1: So probably next month, I'm going to Columbia for them

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Speaker 1: to super deep clean the gups. I got these now

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Speaker 1: for four or five years o the deep clean, and

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Speaker 1: so I want to do not only the deep clean,

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Speaker 1: but if there's anything cracked.

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Speaker 2: If there's anything, go ahead and fix it.

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Speaker 1: Because my fear was doing a super super deep clean

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Speaker 1: my gums and everything. I didn't want to do it

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Speaker 1: in the States. Like I go and get whitenings. I

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Speaker 1: go and get like flushes and stuff like, but a

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Speaker 1: deep clean. I said, if they crack the tooth, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have to go to Columbia.

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Speaker 2: Oh not even that. I was gonna say, the deep

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Speaker 2: cleans are super expensive. No, which is why I'm remember

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Speaker 2: when I went to Mexico. Oh you said you went

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Speaker 2: to Mexico for it. So I'm going back to Columbia.

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Speaker 1: But my fear with my super deep clean is if

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Speaker 1: I get a deep clean here and any of these

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Speaker 1: are you know, loosening or whatever where it comes out

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Speaker 1: and they're not going to fix it because I got

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Speaker 1: it done in another country. So I literally have a

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Speaker 1: consultation with my dentists next week to figure out.

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Speaker 2: Back up to someone that will work on other people's word. Well,

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Speaker 2: my own girl's fucking a dentist.

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Speaker 1: So we went out and she was like, well, he

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Speaker 1: can clean it, and I was like, well for the

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Speaker 1: first one, especially because they've been in there for five

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Speaker 1: years and I want them.

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Speaker 2: To it's in five years, twenty twenty one. I feel

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Speaker 2: like you just did this twenty twenty one, November of

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Speaker 2: twenty because my ex one, I feel like you gonna

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Speaker 2: feel like that about my braces. You're gonna be like,

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Speaker 2: you just got the law. Well, I feel like you

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Speaker 2: only have It was a year and a half, right,

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Speaker 2: I gotta done August twenty, So me, it feels like

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Speaker 2: you've had your braces all longer than that. My man

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Speaker 2: literally said to me the other day. So we met

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Speaker 2: the summer of twenty twenty three, He's like, you didn't

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Speaker 2: have braces when y'all met. He's like, I didn't you

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Speaker 2: didn't have braces. He's like, but I feel like the

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Speaker 2: most that I know you is with braces, because when

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Speaker 2: he was looking at me on FaceTime, he's like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know who you are. He's like, but I met

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Speaker 2: you without it, but your teeth were different. But now, Bro,

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Speaker 2: the way my face changed is crazy. My dentist she's

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Speaker 2: so like aesthetic, very like, she's Upper East Ie dentists,

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Speaker 2: very like, all about facial structure. She's like, and if

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Speaker 2: you look here barely talking about the teeth, your cheekbone,

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Speaker 2: this jaw line, how facially it changed me. I couldn't

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Speaker 2: believe it. Did you veneers change your face? Uh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so a bit because I saw not really,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I see, I feel anything is mele you

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Speaker 1: know what.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy.

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Speaker 1: So and now that we're cool, I could be considerate

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Speaker 1: when I do it. So I was gonna do these hello,

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Speaker 1: like before and after pictures of us.

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Speaker 2: Bro, look at yours? You damn really fucking face has changed. Bro.

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Speaker 2: I don't even but Bro, look how different you look? Dog.

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Speaker 2: I don't even like someone to pull the card on me. Dog,

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Speaker 2: Bro so different.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, like your mouth, yeah, your mouth shape and

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Speaker 1: everything has changed, your whole your face has changed.

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Speaker 2: You know what it looks like that? How do I

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Speaker 2: used to hold my mouth because I hated my smile.

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Speaker 2: So look at my face? O God damn, wol looks

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Speaker 2: the same. Crystal looks the same. Crystal looks the same.

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Speaker 2: Boy are we old? Wow looks and we looked different.

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Speaker 2: We looked so I just make money Because Crystal was

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Speaker 2: doing to read this, she had money, That's why she

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Speaker 2: kept it going. We we we found out how to

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Speaker 2: use our money. One of my homegirls in our landows,

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Speaker 2: I'm doing this. You can see over the years how

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Speaker 2: you've elevated. No, for sure, for sure, I had them

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Speaker 2: doo key braids, the sowe's with the leave out and

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Speaker 2: you your flat arm. You know, we're so crazy too.

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Speaker 2: I was. I was so happy to have my real

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Speaker 2: hair out for a month. When I went to my braider,

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Speaker 2: I didn't even want to go that day, but I

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Speaker 2: was like, fuck it, I don't want to cancel her.

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Speaker 2: And now that I have a minute, I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: can't wait to see my hair again. I have got

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that dyeing your hair would make you

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Speaker 2: feel like you have a new look, ma'am. That I

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Speaker 2: was black haired my whole life and now I'm a

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Speaker 2: blonde for life. I'm a blonde for life.

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Speaker 1: But I just are like even I was like, bitch

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Speaker 1: six thirteen, baby, and I said, put a little bit

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Speaker 1: in enough, But you know, I can't imagine myself with

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Speaker 1: dark hair again.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I like had a little moment,

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Speaker 2: but I feeling so confident about my natural hair in

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Speaker 2: a way that I've never felt. Just love wearing it,

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Speaker 2: love wearing it, love with it, go out to eat.

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Speaker 2: It's bunch of bitches. And I'm talking about that Brazil

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Speaker 2: experience and how it expired me to inspired me to

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Speaker 2: wear my real hair, and how I'm feeling really great

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Speaker 2: about it. And this girl's like, yeah, you know, it's

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Speaker 2: like so much treatment you have to do now with

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Speaker 2: blonde deep condition. It's gonna be a journey. And I

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Speaker 2: literally snapped her and I was like, Yo, thank you

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Speaker 2: so much for the advice. I'm sitting here talking about

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Speaker 2: how I never wore my hair and now you got

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Speaker 2: to sit here and walk. I don't give a footho.

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Speaker 2: And you know what, I kind of felt like that

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Speaker 2: what all the comments about the retainer, Shut up police,

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Speaker 2: Let me breathe one day and enjoy God. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, like I hope that I don't do

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Speaker 2: this to people. Maybe you do, Maybe maybe it's just natural.

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Speaker 2: You say it, but it's like, let me breathe, bunny.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I know what we talked about our

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Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions, even when I thought with my family,

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Speaker 1: I leaned into that again in saying like, this year,

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Speaker 1: I want to be real intent, like have intent on

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Speaker 1: really taking care of my body, my skin, my hair,

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Speaker 1: and just feeling good about myself overall, like hygiene everything.

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Speaker 2: That's why I'm going to Colombia together, I said.

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Speaker 1: I just I'm thirty five now, and I was like, bitch,

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Speaker 1: I want to look like this at forty five and

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Speaker 1: at fifty like and I'm like, it's skin but skin,

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Speaker 1: and and it's why I'm a little bit more forgiving

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Speaker 1: to the yms and the little girls with all the acne,

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Speaker 1: because when you really get into the skin procedures and

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Speaker 1: the skin products, maybe I couldn't.

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Speaker 2: Afford that shit on a god damn it. Like she

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Speaker 2: had a bit she said the baby help. But my

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Speaker 2: point was it's never money like your body, like it's

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Speaker 2: it's your If anyone could afford all of that, and

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Speaker 2: she's had such a journey, I think that, well, it's

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Speaker 2: hormones too, But to me, though, it is still like

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Speaker 2: the way that we have the PRP, Like I'm doing

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Speaker 2: the Morpheus eight right now.

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Speaker 1: So so the Morpheu's ais is the most painful thing

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Speaker 1: that I've ever experienced in my entire life. But I

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Speaker 1: have two more sessions and I'm gonna get through it.

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Speaker 1: So basically, what it is is it's twenty four needles,

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Speaker 1: twenty four needles all throughout here, all throughout here, and

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Speaker 1: then it's micro needling up here.

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Speaker 2: What are the needles doing it?

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Speaker 1: So what it's doing is it's so it goes four millimeters,

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Speaker 1: then three millimeters and two millimeters than one millimeters, so

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Speaker 1: it's four round.

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Speaker 2: It's so deep.

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Speaker 1: But what it's doing is it's reinvigorating the tissue and

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Speaker 1: the collagen, so it's bringing all your tallet. So it's

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Speaker 1: pretty much a facelook that doesn't require actual pulling.

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Speaker 2: So by March, y'all are only getting a side profile. Bitch,

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Speaker 2: I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,

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Speaker 1: But why's that there? Tap in for the full uncut

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Speaker 1: and way Naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to patreon

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Speaker 1: dot com, backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messyt

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Speaker 1: wild stories and bonus content you won't hear any where else.

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Speaker 1: And now here's You've got decisions if.

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Speaker 2: You would like to have us answer your questions. If

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Speaker 2: you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a

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Speaker 2: terrible throuffle. Guess what, you've got decisions.

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Speaker 1: You've got decisions, baby, and I do too. But we're

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Speaker 1: gonna give you advice whether.

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Speaker 2: You want us to. Oh that was good.

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Speaker 3: I just saw someone say they wanted us to get

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Speaker 3: bring back you know.

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Speaker 2: They say, Mandy, you not us. They said you. Okay,

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Speaker 2: let me try then. Huh, I'm trying to like take

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Speaker 2: it from another jingle. Sound hold on, let me think,

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Speaker 2: let's the news. Two weeks by the feet by bye.

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Speaker 2: You've got decisions, baby, And no it's not a baby.

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Speaker 2: He wants to fuck you in the butt. And for

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Speaker 2: some reason you're a slut, but we say do it,

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Speaker 2: do it, do it? Do it well in the book?

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Speaker 1: Okay, you know I thought you were gonna go to

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Speaker 1: you said maybe.

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Speaker 3: Then I was like, but you could have a baby.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I was running out of round.

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Speaker 1: And speaking of baby, y'all, we have an update. Oh,

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Speaker 1: we have an update, y'all. We have an update from

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Speaker 1: is It By the way, y'all came for us because

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Speaker 1: we told her to just lean into being a step

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Speaker 1: mama with this man. Basically an overview of what the

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Speaker 1: the You Got Decision email was.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 3: The lady who wrote us in saying.

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Speaker 1: That she was with a man for two years and

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Speaker 1: she ended up coming across at a letter in the

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Speaker 1: mail that was a paternity suit and she was waiting

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Speaker 1: on what she should do with this fraternity suit and

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Speaker 1: what she should do if it was his baby or

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Speaker 1: if it wasn't. Now we ended up over the holidays

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Speaker 1: getting a message on Patreon for what.

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Speaker 2: I felt bad and it's terrible, but here we got baby.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna read the update for y'all so that y'all

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Speaker 1: could see the mess all right. By the way, if

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Speaker 1: you want to send your letter in, make sure you

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Speaker 1: send it to Decisions pod at gmail dot com. But

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Speaker 1: of course if you're a patron, you get priority.

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Speaker 3: And this girl gave us all the tea, so she's

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Speaker 3: does for context.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this is from the You Got Decisions

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Speaker 2: called is It His Baby? Yes, So I'm gonna give

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Speaker 2: you guys the original episode number one after Mandy's.

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Speaker 3: Done all right.

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Speaker 1: Well, this young lady wrote us back to give us

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Speaker 1: tea before all the tea leaves spelled everything out basically,

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Speaker 1: so she said, oh my god, do I have an

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Speaker 1: update for y'all.

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Speaker 3: It turns out it doesn't matter if the kid is his.

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Speaker 1: Today is Friday, January tewod that I'm writing this and

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Speaker 1: as my first write in. This man was seeming perfect

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Speaker 1: my best friend for two entire years, no red flags

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Speaker 1: except for small things like needing reminding to clean. We

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Speaker 1: never even fought. We talked everything out. I shared every

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Speaker 1: thought with him, and we never even raised our voices

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Speaker 1: at each other.

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Speaker 2: Until Sunday, a normal day.

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Speaker 1: We upgraded his phone on my plan and he went

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Speaker 1: to work like normal, kissed goodbye like every other day,

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Speaker 1: and then.

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Speaker 2: He never came home.

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Speaker 1: Monday morning, one of his friends called letting me know

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Speaker 1: he had been arrested. I thought for a weed charge,

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Speaker 1: but I looked into it, and it turns out he

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Speaker 1: was arrested for a charge of sexual misconduct with a miner,

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Speaker 1: in aiding in the delinquency of a miner and having

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Speaker 1: a lot of weed and edibles and everything in his car.

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Speaker 1: The miner was fourteen. I am so extremely blindsided by this.

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Speaker 1: I really am that stupid. I didn't know he was cheating.

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Speaker 1: Another girl he was sleeping with for the past month.

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Speaker 2: Even called me.

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Speaker 1: She told me that he told her that we fought

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Speaker 1: constantly and I put my hands on him, and that

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Speaker 1: I busted his head into the counter. He said we

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Speaker 1: fought all the time and weren't serious because I don't

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Speaker 1: want kids and he does. I got an abortion for him.

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Speaker 1: This is one of the scariest things that I've that

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Speaker 1: has ever happened to me. I had a stranger in

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Speaker 1: my house for two entire years gart that's what Tomas said.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to cope. I have been heavily

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Speaker 1: medicated and considered hospitalizing myself. I thought he was my family.

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Speaker 1: This exact situation has happened to me before, and the

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Speaker 1: cheater gave me HSB two. We read a story just

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Speaker 1: like that last week this but I guess I just

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Speaker 1: gave him ideas.

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Speaker 3: It took so long.

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Speaker 1: It took so long for me to heal the first time,

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Speaker 1: but this time it was so much worse.

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Speaker 3: He gave me chlamydia, and I don't know how to

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Speaker 3: move forward.

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Speaker 1: Being alive I guess it doesn't matter now if that

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Speaker 1: kid is his or not.

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Speaker 3: Now I need advice on how to stay alive.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, by the way, continuing, she did update us

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Speaker 1: just a little bit further and said that she sent

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Speaker 1: us the article. First off, if you guys want to

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Speaker 1: look it up, it's titled Springfield man arrested and Orbana

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Speaker 1: on charges involving a minor.

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Speaker 2: I felt so bad when I read that, because.

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Speaker 1: She's disgusted he genuinely had everyone, his fam, her family

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Speaker 1: and friends fooled. And then she said that the results

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Speaker 1: did end up coming in maybe like a week and

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Speaker 1: a half after she said the sin, the results came

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Speaker 1: in and the kid was it.

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Speaker 2: The baby is, y'all, the baby is. The letter was

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Speaker 2: actually called how should I feel? He may have a baby.

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Speaker 2: It's from December tenth. But when we heard that, I

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Speaker 2: was like, okay, we were Mandy and I were giving

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Speaker 2: advice at this point on Hey, it was before you

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Speaker 2: shit happened. Maybe you stick it out sis Now now

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry now, of course he's so. In the article,

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Speaker 2: I think he claims he thought the girl was of age.

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Speaker 2: They both admitted to having sex with each other, but

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Speaker 2: of course because she was fourteen years old. Nigga, I

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Speaker 2: don't know how I felt about that. I think I

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Speaker 2: could clock at fourteen, bro brol. That's what I got

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Speaker 2: to hate. But also you and I.

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Speaker 3: Was in the club at fifteen sixteen.

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Speaker 2: But he didn't he pick her from the street, is it.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure he offered her we I'm sure he knew.

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Speaker 3: So that's another thing. They allegedly were doing drugs together.

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Speaker 2: So it says.

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Speaker 1: Sirch of the gun covered marijuana, a glass pipe, a grinder,

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Speaker 1: a TFC vappen, THD gummies and partially smoked marijuana. The

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Speaker 1: juvenile later gave a written statement alleging sexual contact had occurred.

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Speaker 1: Hudson admitted to providing drugs and said he has sexual contact,

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Speaker 1: claiming he thought the girl was eighteen. So yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: in the article that he thought the girl was eighteen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't believe that. And I'm gonna tell you why.

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Speaker 2: I've seen sixteen year olds look grown. I've seen fourteen

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Speaker 2: year old dress grown. Yeah, and w I ain't gonna

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Speaker 2: tell you it's so for me.

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Speaker 3: For me, there's no double thinking this at all.

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Speaker 1: Not only was he cheating on you with a minor

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Speaker 1: not only does he have a baby that just proved

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Speaker 1: to be his, he also was cheating on you with

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Speaker 1: another woman, making it seem like y'all's relationship was it

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Speaker 1: what it was?

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Speaker 2: So there's like this way, he's too much.

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Speaker 1: You're like, and I know the advice that you asked

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Speaker 1: for was how to stay alive. And I will tell

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Speaker 1: every woman listening to this right now, there is no

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Speaker 1: man worth your life at all.

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Speaker 2: Like, I don't know if I talked about this on

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Speaker 2: our show, but my we'll definitely have to put a

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Speaker 2: trigger warning. But there was a woman that worked in

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Speaker 2: my last apartment building, in the office, the one that

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Speaker 2: my mom and I just moved from fucking three days ago,

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Speaker 2: And so I replied to an email from her letting

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Speaker 2: her know we were moving out. Heyl blah blah, can

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Speaker 2: we reserve the elevator? She doesn't reply. I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: wonder what happened to her? I feel like I haven't

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Speaker 2: seen her in a while. So my mom goes to

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Speaker 2: the front office and say, what happened to so and

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Speaker 2: so she took her life? No, Mandy. My email to

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Speaker 2: her was like June something. The next day is when

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Speaker 2: she took her life. Which was even creepier with us

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Speaker 2: talking about keys and key and my mom was like

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Speaker 2: why and she said her and her boyfriend were having

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Speaker 2: trouble and she threatened it and my mom and I

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Speaker 2: were like, bruh, because then my mom you know nosy too,

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Speaker 2: but not that I don't get it from her. My

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Speaker 2: mom go down to the door lady talk about how

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Speaker 2: come no one told us, and a lady's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: we were all fucked up over it because she was

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Speaker 2: twenty eight. And I think when you're so in love,

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Speaker 2: I've never gone that far, but I definitely felt like,

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Speaker 2: how am I gonna push through? To me?

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Speaker 1: Even in the book Right and the Hole Bar, I

396
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 1: talk about literally overcoming a heartbreak essentially, and when you're

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Speaker 1: questioning if the person you were with really loved you,

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Speaker 1: if any of it was real. I can get the

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Speaker 1: distortion of life being difficult, but reality is difficult to

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Speaker 1: really like all so take in. And so when it

401
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: comes to love, I think it becomes this drug or

402
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 1: something we don't think that we can live without. And

403
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Speaker 1: in terms of a relationship coming to an end or

404
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,679
Speaker 1: a person not being they who they showed you to be.

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Speaker 1: To me, it's one of those like we gotta like,

406
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 1: we gotta get out of the lulu, Like not all

407
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,199
Speaker 1: people are good people and we know that, right and

408
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 1: so unfortunately, like we have to be we have.

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Speaker 3: To hold grace for ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Now, you know, I don't like holding grace for anybody else,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes we have to hold grace with us wanting

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Speaker 1: to believe that a person was this good person that

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Speaker 1: they're showing me to be and not the monster that

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Speaker 1: realistically a lot of people are out here.

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Speaker 2: So I agree, like when it comes to the accountability

416
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,920
Speaker 2: we want to take and I think that's what gets

417
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 2: you there. You're like, that's the hard part, Bro, I

418
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 2: should have known this nigga like how to fuck and

419
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Speaker 2: it's not even like you're doing it because of the guy.

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00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 2: Like my mom and I were talking about that because

421
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Speaker 2: we were really fucked up about the lady in the office.

422
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 2: Should I say girl? And she was like, ah, over

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Speaker 2: a man, And I'm like, but you know what, Ma,

424
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 2: it's probably her in her own head being like how

425
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Speaker 2: the fuck did I do this to myself?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you got to get past the signs

427
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Speaker 3: you overlooked. I think when we.

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Speaker 1: Well, we see how we see relationships sometimes is based

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Speaker 1: on the potential that we see in the person, not

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Speaker 1: actually who the person is showing up to be right

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Speaker 1: in front of our eyes, and so there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of glossing over red flags, Like to me, i don't

433
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Speaker 1: know how perfect a man can show up to where

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Speaker 1: there were no signs that he was cheating with other women.

435
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,639
Speaker 1: There was no like because at this point it's multiple

436
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 1: different women. We also don't know if that baby was

437
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,640
Speaker 1: born before.

438
00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 2: Or not it was just a paternity case. I think

439
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 2: she knew the age. I think she knew the age

440
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 2: the baby. I think she was like saying how it

441
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 2: was x y z years ago. But he's still a

442
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 2: mother fucking lie. And that's really the hardest part of

443
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 2: a cheat, Like for me when in no Hole's bard too.

444
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 2: With Obay, it was like it's one thing like I'm

445
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 2: thinking I'm getting my lick back because I'm cheating too.

446
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,479
Speaker 2: I'm thinking it's whatever because i know I'm not really invested.

447
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 2: There'll be someone else. But it's just like, damn, bitch,

448
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 2: but you know better and you let x y Z happen.

449
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 2: And that's the stuff. When you start feeling like goof,

450
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 2: you know, when you start feeling like I'm the girl

451
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 2: that's giving advice to everybody to go the other way. Like,

452
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 2: dear reader, dear listener, you know for a fact you

453
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 2: should have left this nigga. Oh you know when it

454
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 2: should have happened you. I'm thinking saw a sign when

455
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 2: you wrote us. I remember you talking about how everything

456
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 2: felt normal and everything was cool, but I don't know

457
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 2: if that's true. I do mean by that, all right,

458
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,640
Speaker 2: I just helped a friend move out, right, yep. When

459
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,399
Speaker 2: don't we sit back and her and I are talking

460
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 2: about it, and you know, there were so many signs

461
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 2: that she chose to ignore. There were very many signs,

462
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,360
Speaker 2: and all that it turned to be for her was,

463
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm in love with him. Things can change.

464
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 2: This isn't a big deal. Everybody goes through shit, but

465
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 2: there are major signs for me. I think when it

466
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 2: comes to a cheater, it's how vague they can be.

467
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:34,400
Speaker 2: Well absolutely sometimes, but no, no, no, not even with women

468
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 2: like for example, Obay sometimes would have a doctor's appointment

469
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 2: that popped up, not even him cheating. It was me

470
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 2: learning how much about his life I didn't know it

471
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 2: was suddenly like or oh today XYZ happened well, why

472
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 2: don't you call me when that happened? What the fuck?

473
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 2: Like little things like that he was able to keep

474
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:59,439
Speaker 2: so much ah, and I was like, ooh, Like I

475
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,360
Speaker 2: could go through my whole day talking to you and

476
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: not know that X y Z was no.

477
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that this is the hardest part

478
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 3: too write it.

479
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: I would say, it is the accountability I mean, and

480
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 1: it's holding up the mirror to yourself. I know, like

481
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 1: a part of me getting over and not being so

482
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 1: angry with my ex was in therapy thinking of the

483
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: faults and the smoke of mirrors.

484
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,360
Speaker 3: I applied to the relationship myself.

485
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: Whether it was a defense mechanism, whether it was because

486
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: I just wanted it to be great and I didn't

487
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 1: want to argue and I didn't want to like have

488
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 1: a confrontation about putting him to the fire and how

489
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 1: he would respond. Like there was a lot of ways

490
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 1: in which I thought within the relationship I showed up

491
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: in not the best way I thought I was. And

492
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 1: so I think that again, that's how you choose to live.

493
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: First off, you put yourself first and realize that this

494
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 1: was a class, it was a lesson, and you not

495
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 1: gonna let it happen again. I will say the last

496
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: thing that anybody needs to tell you to do right

497
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: now is to get up under another nigga. We done

498
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: talked about how that don't really resolve anything, And so

499
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: in this moment, shower yourself with friends and family and

500
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 1: really figure out what you missed. Like the accountability part

501
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: is so important here, and I know it's a joke

502
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,239
Speaker 1: that women even know how to hold themselves accountable, But

503
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: he can't be the only monster. You have to figure

504
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: out what you did wrong in terms of wanting to

505
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: gloss over or ignore. And that's only because I don't

506
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:39,400
Speaker 1: believe a person can be this loving, caring, never raised

507
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: for two years and you had no idea he was

508
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: fucking other people. You had no like you gotta go back.

509
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: And sometimes we like to block the memories because we

510
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:50,959
Speaker 1: don't want to believe it.

511
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 2: This blocked them out reality, You.

512
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 3: Blocked them holds out And let me.

513
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: Tell you another thing. This little too big a tea

514
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 2: fe close to the end, but close friend of mine,

515
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 2: her bestie, calls her while on vacation. It's her first

516
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 2: vacation after a baby with okay husband okay, and says

517
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 2: the husband told her he thinks he's gay, and.

518
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait girl, this is a listener.

519
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: We judge, we gotta save this for the show. Oh

520
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 2: I don't have all to do yet. This was two

521
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 2: days ago. Oh yeah, no, no, no, the thing that was

522
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 2: really really crazy about it. So my homegirl's on the phone.

523
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 2: She's angry. She's like, fuck, that fucking baby's four months

524
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah. She's just angry, and you know,

525
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,400
Speaker 2: her friend is hurting and she's mad. And I was like, bitch,

526
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 2: ill know you've I know, you feeling for her right now.

527
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 2: And I don't mean to bring up bullshit, but didn't

528
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 2: you tell me a long time, agol that her and

529
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 2: the husband never fucked? And she was like I don't remember.

530
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, bitch, I remember, because you called me

531
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 2: a year ago and were like the girl made a

532
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 2: joke about how she couldn't believe she got pregnant because

533
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: they barely have sex. I'm like, well, sounds like we

534
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 2: should have known this.

535
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 1: Well, a man that barely has sex with this partner

536
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily mean nay gay.

537
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 2: That's well, I'm sorry, it's a sign.

538
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 3: No, it ain't. That is an extreme.

539
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,199
Speaker 2: Okay, it's an extreme, but I'm just saying, and I

540
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 2: agree it's an extreme extreme, but I'm just saying it's some.

541
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that we like to lean into a

542
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: lot of the times. How terrible of men we choose

543
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: and make them, you know, the main characters in our stories,

544
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: and we gotta stop doing that.

545
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 3: They're not the main characters. You made a mistake.

546
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 1: You wanted to see the best in someone, You wanted

547
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 1: to nurture them because you believe they could be a

548
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 1: better person.

549
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 2: Like we stick with it.

550
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: We stick with men a long time, hoping that we

551
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: see change. Well, we know that there's things for them

552
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: to change.

553
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 2: We know that.

554
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 1: We just hope our love will change it. And unfortunately,

555
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 1: this is only two years of your life.

556
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 2: Sys. I want to say when.

557
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 1: We were reading it, you're in your twenties. Even if

558
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: you in your early thirties, bitch, there is time to

559
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: find a new nuncle day out here. They the easiest

560
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 1: things to get. I promise you little hard to keep them,

561
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 1: especially when they're good.

562
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 2: But yeah, what happened.

563
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: And Weezy is now fighting for her life because there's

564
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: a bee in her house.

565
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 3: You see this, Heaven forbid Bro, you live in the mountains,

566
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 3: You're gonna have some goddamn aniles. Bro, looks like a fly,

567
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 3: but it's not.

568
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 2: Are you?

569
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 3: Are you deathly allergic to bees?

570
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 2: No? But I'm still scared, Amanda. Oh my god. Well,

571
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 2: love you guys.

572
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 1: If you have a letter to send to us, make

573
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: sure you send it to decisions pod at gmail dot

574
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: com and we'll answer it to our greatest and best disability.

575
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 3: Now Weezy has to go get a beat swatter.

576
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 2: Oh my god, bye bye,