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Speaker 1: I propose to my girlfriend right after she cheated on me.

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Speaker 1: Did I make the right decision?

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Speaker 2: That is the question.

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Speaker 3: That is the question I think.

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Speaker 4: I think we already know the answer to that.

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Speaker 3: Oh what is the answer Carrie?

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Speaker 5: I'm not telling you my opinion yet, all right, that's

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Speaker 5: what we like, keep those opinions close to the vest.

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Speaker 1: Also, speaking of ves and the pilots that wear vess.

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Speaker 5: Uh.

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Speaker 3: We were on a plane together, Carrie.

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Speaker 4: That's how we Yes, that is literally how we met,

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Speaker 4: literally a week and a half.

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Speaker 3: Ago, I think a week and half ago.

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Speaker 1: And actually we met because Carrie was judging me super hard.

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Speaker 1: You explain why you were judging me.

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Speaker 4: So, like literally five minutes into our plane ride, my

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Speaker 4: partner nudged me on the shoulder and was like, you know,

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Speaker 4: this guy's writing a script, right, and my partner is

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Speaker 4: a video editor and a content creator himself. So I

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Speaker 4: was like, oh, cool, Like they're gonna commismerate and talk

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Speaker 4: about all the fun stuff. But here's the issue. Right,

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Speaker 4: he was sitting in the window.

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Speaker 3: Aisle and I was sitting in the window aisle.

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Speaker 4: The issue what happened?

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Speaker 3: I was alone? Yes, so I thought I was a loser.

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Speaker 6: No, because I was on the plate alone and Carrie

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Speaker 6: literally says, yeah, we thought you were complete weirdo because

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Speaker 6: he travels alone and well sits.

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Speaker 4: In the window seat. I would expect a person traveling

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Speaker 4: alone to use the aisle seat because they get more space.

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Speaker 4: That's what I would.

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Speaker 1: Typically like, being sandwiched, Yeah, between strangers.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I just don't think it's, you know, the most

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Speaker 4: effective decision when traveling.

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Speaker 1: I mean, thirteen hours carry know that I didn't get

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Speaker 1: to choose my seat, and China Airlines chose it for me.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, we was like struck up a conversation about

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Speaker 1: how weird I was. I love those conversations, Love those conversations,

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Speaker 1: and I realized that Carrie would be a great guest

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Speaker 1: have on the podcast.

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Speaker 3: So here she is guesting with us today.

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Speaker 4: So honored. I am so honored. I'm so excited to

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Speaker 4: dig into all these stories. It is very fascinating the

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Speaker 4: world to Reddit.

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Speaker 7: So let's get your game has a hot take like

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Speaker 7: out of the game, I'm like, I'm.

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Speaker 3: So excited my fucking opinions.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, that.

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Speaker 1: Sits in an aisle seed? Why would I tell you.

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Speaker 4: If if anyone's watching, I am not this judgmental. I

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Speaker 4: think I just know all the answer to the story.

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Speaker 6: We need you to be judgment because we need you

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Speaker 6: to judge story.

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Speaker 2: There we go.

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Speaker 1: I've known my girlfriend since we were in kindergarten. That's

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Speaker 1: a long ass time. Wow, that's a long ass time.

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Speaker 2: About pre K, I mean, pre K put in some work, jeez.

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Speaker 3: I've actually known my roommate, Christians since we were in kindergarten.

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Speaker 1: Wow. I recently told John that Christian is like my Naima,

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Speaker 1: and Naima is John's girlfriend, So wow, how much he

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Speaker 1: means to beautiful. It's a beautiful friends the musical friendship.

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Speaker 1: She's helped me through thick and thin, through periods of depression,

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Speaker 1: when my parents were being abusive, when I lost my grandparents,

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Speaker 1: through it all.

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Speaker 3: She's genuinely my hero.

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Speaker 1: She's also warm hearted, caring, selfless, and the best person

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, we're getting start.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we're being like, just like set up

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Speaker 1: for a slap in the face, a good old slap.

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Speaker 1: I don't want it, and not the one that you

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Speaker 1: begged for, the one that you just don't want. About

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Speaker 1: a month ago, I told her parents of mine that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to marry her, and we agreed to rent

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Speaker 1: out our favorite amusement part rent out our favorite amusement park.

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Speaker 4: Ruh, that's crazy Disneyland.

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Speaker 7: We just read this crazy story story about But that's

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Speaker 7: expensive as fuck.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he must really love her, Yeah, I mean to

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Speaker 4: really do that, Disney that's like it's got to be

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Speaker 4: like what like fifty grand, one hundred grand?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, way more? Because it's like, how like how

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Speaker 2: much should people.

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Speaker 3: Pay for one ticket?

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Speaker 2: Riley? Could you look up how much does it make

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Speaker 2: in one day?

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Speaker 3: Or how much?

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Speaker 1: How much does it cost to rent out a portion

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Speaker 1: of the park at Disneyland.

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Speaker 4: I mean a ticket to just access the park is

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Speaker 4: like two three hundred dollars, So if you're trying to

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Speaker 4: rent out the whole park, that's a whole lot of money.

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Speaker 1: That's a whole lot of money that they're But maybe

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Speaker 1: you rent it out after like after dark.

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Speaker 4: Usually really, oh, you don't rent out.

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Speaker 3: The whole day, VidCon rent it out after dark? What's Riley?

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Speaker 2: What do you got? Riley?

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Speaker 7: One hundred and eighty thousand dollars hours after it closes?

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Speaker 3: He loves her, He loves her.

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Speaker 2: Can we save it for the wedding?

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Speaker 4: Or something.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to marry her, and we agreed to

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Speaker 1: rent out our favorite amusement park where I would propose

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Speaker 1: to her, which is also where I confess my love

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Speaker 1: to her. It is still rented for the twenty ninth

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Speaker 1: of August, still rented. Oh I feel like there's some

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Speaker 1: foreshadowing that we.

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Speaker 3: Got right, yeah, Opie.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, it was all so perfect, so perfect until yesterday.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend said that she's going to a karaoke event

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Speaker 1: with her female friends at two am today. She returned

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Speaker 1: literally drunk and collapsed in bed.

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Speaker 3: This morning.

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Speaker 1: She woke up in tears and apologized profusely. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: why she apologizing, Carrie, Why was she apologizing?

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Speaker 4: I've heard the story before in a personal experience. Oh

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Speaker 4: my god, you're going to spill.

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Speaker 1: Te Later, after she calmed down, she explained that she

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Speaker 1: was drunk and decided to have sex oh with another

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Speaker 1: man at the party after the karaoke oh, and regretted

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Speaker 1: it afterwards a lot. When I asked why she do this,

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Speaker 1: she said that she was drunk, that she completely blanked

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Speaker 1: on the fact that she was in a relationship with me.

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Speaker 2: I just I just kind of know you. No, no,

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Speaker 2: I forget a I forget my keys.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I forget you, just like you're.

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Speaker 3: Just not the most important thing at that moment.

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Speaker 4: Something has to be fundamentally wrong with that relationship for

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Speaker 4: her to just absentindly forget.

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Speaker 1: I was like cheating on you, like I wasn't. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't even thinking about you the whole time I was

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Speaker 1: thinking about this hot sexy karaoke man.

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Speaker 7: Come on, an angel. No one looks good doing karaoke.

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Speaker 7: I'm sorry you're doing karaoke. John did amazing karaoke.

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Speaker 4: Everyone looks amazing doing karaoke. It's it's where they they're

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Speaker 4: they're true talent, their their true nature of how they

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Speaker 4: feel about.

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Speaker 7: But not like you're not like you know, I don't know,

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Speaker 7: like dressed up like date night, Like it's not necessarily.

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Speaker 3: Sexy, but it is, like the personal connection.

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Speaker 4: Quirkiness is sexys.

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Speaker 1: I think when Ashley saw me do karaoke and Pali,

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Speaker 1: she was like that it was a little Australian wifey. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's a whole video. It's a whole whole video, the

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Speaker 1: whole thing.

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Speaker 2: We'll pull you in.

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Speaker 3: I'm not I'm not sad about it. Ending No, No,

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Speaker 3: not at all. Just crying on the inside. Yeah, that

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Speaker 3: sounded to me like she would have had sex with

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Speaker 3: other men if she wasn't with me. So I asked

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Speaker 3: if she was unhappy in bed. Oh that's such a

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Speaker 3: sad question.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm not good enough baby, like.

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Speaker 3: Is he bigger?

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Speaker 1: But she reassured me it's not the case and couldn't

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Speaker 1: ask for anything more from me and regrets everything she did.

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Speaker 1: I had so many more questions that I wanted to ask,

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Speaker 1: but my heart completely broke and I began crying. She

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Speaker 1: hugged me and said that she would do anything to

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Speaker 1: get my trust back and constantly asked to not break

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Speaker 1: up over this. I said that I need some time

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Speaker 1: to think and went into a separate room. And remember,

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Speaker 1: man just spent maybe one hundred eighty grand on buying

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Speaker 1: Disneyland for this woman.

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Speaker 2: On the proposal.

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Speaker 3: On the proposal, she.

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Speaker 4: Doesn't even know yet, or does she? Or does she

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Speaker 4: like question?

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Speaker 2: Here's the thing, Yeah, what happened?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I don't know because in some relationships you have that discussion.

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Speaker 1: Of whether or not you know, You probably have the

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Speaker 1: discussion of, like I'm guessing they had the discussion of

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Speaker 1: like we're going to maybe get married. Yeah, but they

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Speaker 1: don't know the exact like time. Yeah, you know, you

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Speaker 1: don't know the hour that it's coming.

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Speaker 2: I would guess that she doesn't know that this event

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Speaker 2: is going to happen.

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Speaker 1: I don't think so either. I've now been sitting in

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Speaker 1: this room heartbroken for many hours and don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do. She said that she do anything to get

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Speaker 1: my trust back, So I have hope that there's something

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Speaker 1: I can change to.

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Speaker 7: Ensure No, O, you don't need to change.

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Speaker 6: I have hope that there's something I could change to

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Speaker 6: ensure that she never cheats on me again.

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Speaker 4: No, hope.

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Speaker 3: You know, dude, man needs to get a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: I mean, obviously, like your girlfriend cheating on you is

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Speaker 1: confidence ruining. But yeah, like that is not how you

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Speaker 1: should be thinking.

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Speaker 2: No, seems like there's some maybe some insecurities.

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Speaker 3: Yet I have.

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Speaker 4: A couple questions actually, because my first question is two, op,

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Speaker 4: you know, has there been any issues And this is

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Speaker 4: going to sound super therapeutical of you, but have there

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Speaker 4: been any glaring issues in the relationship beforehand? Because if

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Speaker 4: this came out of left field, then okay, that's you know,

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Speaker 4: a little shocking. But if if there's been a issue,

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Speaker 4: for yeah, if there's been arguments or insecurity problems, I

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Speaker 4: think that's a conversation worth having. But if this came

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Speaker 4: out of left field, I just feel bad. I just

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Speaker 4: think this is an awful ordeal.

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Speaker 1: I think also, like Op's response to it, feels like

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Speaker 1: there might be an insecurity thing exactly two, because like

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Speaker 1: or like this might like like his security from past

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Speaker 1: relationship or this one. And like John and I always say,

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Speaker 1: like and were their red flags before? Like, there has

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Speaker 1: to maybe be red flags. So but let's see, how

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Speaker 1: do I ensure she never cheats them again? Like always

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Speaker 1: going with her when she goes outside, But that feels

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Speaker 1: really controlling and disgusting to be. Is there any way

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Speaker 1: to not break up and still have trust again that

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Speaker 1: she will never cheat on me? If I do break up, though,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I can ever love anyone like her again.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh, Petro, please try to understand and comprehend that

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Speaker 1: I've known her since not long after I was born.

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Speaker 3: He's known her since kindergard dead and.

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Speaker 4: They've been together since then.

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Speaker 3: Are like, is this just like I don't know if

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Speaker 3: they've been together since kindergarten, but they have known each other.

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Speaker 2: Each other yees, yikes.

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Speaker 1: We were often in the same class, doing the same

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Speaker 1: school work together, playing together, eating together, doing everything together.

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Speaker 1: I spent many years trying to confess my love. We've

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Speaker 1: spent many years living, loving, smiling together. She feels like

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Speaker 1: a part of me by now. How can I just

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Speaker 1: throw that part of me away and pretend I'll be fine.

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Speaker 1: I'm saying this because I know it's common on the

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Speaker 1: subreddit to say, hey, just move on, but I really

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Speaker 1: don't think that's possible for me. So I'm really looking

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Speaker 1: for responses that suggest how can we stay together with

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Speaker 1: rules to ensure that this never happens again. I would

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Speaker 1: also like to hear suggestions about whether I tell mine

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Speaker 1: or her parents of the incident. I'll have to tell

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Speaker 1: them to cancel the amusement park event, so I probably

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Speaker 1: will have to tell them about what happened, but I

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Speaker 1: could excuse the cancelation as just I'm not feeling ready

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Speaker 1: yet or something. I'm mainly considering this because I don't

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Speaker 1: want her parents to be mad, slash, yell at her,

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Speaker 1: or be cold towards her, because, as I explained before,

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Speaker 1: she's always been my hero and I don't want someone

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Speaker 1: who's helped me so much get hurt, especially because I've

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Speaker 1: experienced how much that hurts. And there is a giant

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Speaker 1: own Dear shuicy update. Oh, I want to hear from

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Speaker 1: you guys. I want to everyone in the comments type

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Speaker 1: away the answers to some of Opie's questions, like what

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Speaker 1: is a response to this that maybe means that he

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Speaker 1: can stay together with this woman that he's known since kindergarten.

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Speaker 3: But I'll love to pass to you guys. What do

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Speaker 3: you guys think?

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Speaker 4: I mean, that's a lot. First of all, I think

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Speaker 4: the person himself has to talk to people about this.

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Speaker 4: I think it's nearly impossible to hold that within Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and not also go to the parents.

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Speaker 3: You know, so you op should tell the parents.

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Speaker 4: I think op should have a discussion with his own

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Speaker 4: parents first to kind of gauge what they think. And

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Speaker 4: you know, the easiest answer always is to be like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you should break up with her, But they've been in

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Speaker 4: a relationship or they've known each other since kindergarten. It's

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Speaker 4: so much more nuanced, that's decades of.

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Speaker 1: Of and should one mistake dictate this, like, especially if

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Speaker 1: there I think what we said before is like, has

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Speaker 1: there been other red flags? If there has, maybe this

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Speaker 1: is indicative of a larger behavior. But if it's an

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Speaker 1: isolated incident, maybe it's maybe it's something they can move through.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, forgetting that you're in a relationship even

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Speaker 4: while you're drunk is wallet No. I just I can't

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Speaker 4: comprehend that that that doesn't connect in my brain.

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Speaker 3: Well, what do you think she should say?

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Speaker 4: So?

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Speaker 1: Like, like Eric, let let's say that Opie wants to

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Speaker 1: move through it, the girlfriend wants to move through it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what do you think should happen to make this relationship

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Speaker 1: good again?

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Speaker 7: They?

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Speaker 4: That's so tough. My obvious answer is some level of

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Speaker 4: therapy on both ends to really figure out the crux

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Speaker 4: of the problem. But it's also dependent on if she's

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Speaker 4: willing to seek therapy, because there has to be willing

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Speaker 4: to do the work. And if there's not an answer

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Speaker 4: or a good answer to that, I think he knows

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Speaker 4: what he has to like Yeah, but I.

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Speaker 3: Think it's also it's probably really hard for him to

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Speaker 3: throw away a relationship.

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Speaker 1: That yeah, in his life forever. I think it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, if this was just someone that he knew

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Speaker 1: for a couple of years or even like a couple

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Speaker 1: of months and this happened, maybe it's worth like moving on. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because if he if he if she's shown that she's

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Speaker 1: like an accountable, good person for so many years, maybe

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Speaker 1: she deserves like a little bit of a break. But

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Speaker 1: she has to really like make Like I think the

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Speaker 1: thing is she has to make him feel comfortable. It's

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Speaker 1: not it's it's not as much on him, like on

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Speaker 1: the person who has like been wronged to you know,

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Speaker 1: uh do the work, which obviously, you know, like he

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Speaker 1: has to, He's probably gonna have to do work as well,

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Speaker 1: but I think like for him to truly be okay,

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Speaker 1: she has to start doing the work, like she has

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Speaker 1: to make him feel I think comfortable, or at least start.

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Speaker 7: I think I was gonna I was just gonna say,

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Speaker 7: I'm wondering in the update what she comes to him with.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, does she come to him like, oh.

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Speaker 7: It's just like a mistake, like it happens, I'm like,

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Speaker 7: or is it like, Hey, here's what I want to do,

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Speaker 7: here's the work I want to put in, And more importantly, what.

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Speaker 2: Do you need to feel comfortable and start?

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Speaker 3: Like? You know, I don't even know if he knows

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Speaker 3: what he needs. Probably not.

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Speaker 7: But I'm curious how she's coming to the table.

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Speaker 4: Here's the thing, though, I mean, I am assuming this

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Speaker 4: might be his first ever real relationship. Seems he's known her.

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Speaker 4: So as you guys all know, when you have your

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Speaker 4: first ever love or first ever relationship, everything feels more intense,

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Speaker 4: the breakups, the cheating, the arguments, like you feel like

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Speaker 4: it's the end of the world. You know, once you

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Speaker 4: move past your first relationship, I think you can kind

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Speaker 4: of realize there's not You can move past things, even

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Speaker 4: if the going gets rough. But this is his first,

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Speaker 4: This might be his first.

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Speaker 7: Yes, it's it's definitely giving like new to relationships. Ye,

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Speaker 7: not as mature in navigating relationships.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So I don't know what she It might be

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Speaker 4: your first two. We don't know. We don't know what

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Speaker 4: the see what she.

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Speaker 1: Comes to bat with. As Carrie, you said you have

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Speaker 1: a story, I want to hear it.

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Speaker 3: At the end, the.

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Speaker 4: Tea must be spilled, tea will be spilt.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So a day after the post, I decided to

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Speaker 1: ask for clarification as to exactly what happened, which, oh man,

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Speaker 1: the exact details, that's gonna be right. First I dressed

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Speaker 1: him down. It's gonna be like fifty shades of gray.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, Okay, hopefully not. I was mentally prepared for

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Speaker 1: every possible response except the one she gave me. Oh,

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Speaker 1: from all the information she gave me, I've tried organizing

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Speaker 1: the most important information below. Before the karaoke, the boyfriend

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Speaker 1: of one of her friends, whom I am acquainted with

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Speaker 1: but not particularly close to, decided to join last minute.

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Speaker 1: Let's call him Richard. During karaoke, her female friends kept

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Speaker 1: daring her to chug beers. She told them to stopped

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Speaker 1: daring her after three jinks, but they kept insisting, making

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Speaker 1: her feel bad by saying stuff like, you never drink

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Speaker 1: much anyway, so just for today, try to have some

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Speaker 1: fun and stop ruining the moment and other stuff, so,

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Speaker 1: she continued, can confirm my girlfriend normally drinks far less

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Speaker 1: two beers normally. She says that she remembers drinking ten

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Speaker 1: beers in an hour, which even.

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Speaker 7: For like me, oh yeah, that's also lot. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 7: I would not be doing so good now.

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Speaker 1: She says it's likely she drank more after that, but

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Speaker 1: doesn't remember anything after the ten drinks except waking up

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Speaker 1: back home, She says that the drinks very likely made

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Speaker 1: her blackout drunk. In my original post, I didn't provide

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Speaker 1: much detail about when she returned from karaoke, due to

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Speaker 1: the word limit on the posts and me not thinking

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Speaker 1: that the information would matter much regardless. The next day

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Speaker 1: she returned, her female friends were carrying her by her shoulders,

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Speaker 1: and I also had to carry her to her bed.

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Speaker 1: Her lakes were barely moving, her body was not holding

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Speaker 1: up right, and she wasn't able to form coherence sentences.

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Speaker 1: Although until then I did not have an experience with

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Speaker 1: a person who blacked out, I can only imagine that

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Speaker 1: her situation was a blackout, so I do believe that

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Speaker 1: she got blackout drunk. When she woke up, she had

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Speaker 1: ten miss calls from her friends. Okay, So also, first off,

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Speaker 1: right here, I'm like feeling like her friends are not

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Speaker 1: good friends, No, not at all good friends?

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Speaker 7: What?

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Speaker 3: And I'm also now like, is like, is the guy

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Speaker 3: this the boyfriend of one of her friends?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, That's what I'm thinking.

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Speaker 1: And also she hooked up with her while she was blackout?

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Speaker 1: Like all of this is she okay?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Exactly? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So like I'm things that I feel like are turning

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Speaker 1: in her favor a little bit already.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean not in her favor.

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Speaker 1: Like this is a terrible thing to happen, but like

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Speaker 1: in terms of oh, he maybe being able to forgive

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Speaker 1: and them being able to through this. But what she

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Speaker 1: called back, her friends explained what happened while she was

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Speaker 1: blackout drunk during the karaoke, Richard said that he needed

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Speaker 1: to talk to her my girlfriend for a moment to

389
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Speaker 1: strategize on how they'd sing as partners. The friends decided

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Speaker 1: to continue the karaoke while Richard and my girlfriend strategized.

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Speaker 1: After half an hour, neither Richard or my girlfriend were back,

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Speaker 1: so they started checking for where they were. Richard wasn't

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Speaker 1: picking up any calls. After an unknown amount of time,

394
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Speaker 1: Richard's girlfriend saw Richard having sex with my girlfriend. Of course,

395
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Speaker 1: Richard and his girlfriend broke up, and then all the

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Speaker 1: females brought my girlfriend home. After finding out about this,

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend was mad and shouted, how dare he do

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Speaker 1: this to me? I was in the basement before I

399
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Speaker 1: saw my girlfriend cry, which is why I didn't hear this.

400
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Speaker 1: But her friend said, he's saying she consented, which if

401
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Speaker 1: she's blackout.

402
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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, yeah, what is.

403
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Speaker 1: My girlfriend said that she was speechless and hung up

404
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 1: because she couldn't believe she consented to that, and started

405
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Speaker 1: crying because she believed that she cheated on me by

406
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Speaker 1: consenting and thought our relationship was over. She didn't know

407
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Speaker 1: that legally, if a person is drunk consent or not,

408
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,159
Speaker 1: it is not consent. Yeah. Yeah, I have surprised she

409
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,639
Speaker 1: thought this, because even if you don't know the laws

410
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 1: on this, how could you possibly be morally or even

411
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Speaker 1: solely logically speaking fine to ask someone's consent when they're

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Speaker 1: barely able to communicate. I was really shocked by this

413
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Speaker 1: story and started feeling badly for my girlfriend. I explained

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Speaker 1: to her that was not consensual. I hugged her and

415
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: tried to comfort her and asked if she needed anything

416
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Speaker 1: and how she was feeling. She said that because she

417
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Speaker 1: doesn't even remember anything after the drinks, she doesn't feel great.

418
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Speaker 3: She feels like it's trauma.

419
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Speaker 1: She said that she's mainly discussed by Richard, but also

420
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 1: mad at herself for losing control so easily because of

421
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 1: a dare and hurting me like this. We went to

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Speaker 1: the police station to report this. The investigation is still ongoing. Also,

423
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: to be honest, I was still a little suspicious that

424
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Speaker 1: the story could have been made up or misconstrued. So

425
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Speaker 1: I went to the karaoke place that they went to

426
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Speaker 1: and explain the situation and asked if I could see

427
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Speaker 1: the cameras footage. So now he's doing like sleuthing. He's like,

428
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,919
Speaker 1: oh my god, seeing if the story actually is true,

429
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Speaker 1: and also I think more importantly, probably seeing if they're.

430
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 4: That could help her.

431
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, they agreed, and there was footage of the

432
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 1: exact situation that I was told playing out. There was

433
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Speaker 1: also footage of Richard asking my girlfriend for sex and

434
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Speaker 1: my girlfriend, barely audible, saying something like I like and

435
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 1: he thought that was consent. I've also provided this footage

436
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: to the police. Although the police's investigation has not concluded,

437
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 1: the evidence I saw, in my opinion, is enough for

438
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Speaker 1: me to believe her. My girlfriend volunteered to explain the

439
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,440
Speaker 1: situation to both of our parents because she wants to

440
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:34,199
Speaker 1: take accountability for her actions. Ah Man, I wonder if

441
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:40,360
Speaker 1: the parents would be understanding. I would pray, I pray.

442
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 3: Because I mean, like this is just like I feel

443
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 3: like this is like open and shut that.

444
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, she shouldn't have to do that.

445
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 4: This is not accountability. This was her actually being assaulted.

446
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, that's exactly exactly. Her parents were very apologetic

447
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,640
Speaker 1: and sweet about this situation, which I appreciate a lot,

448
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 1: which is awesome.

449
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 4: Great.

450
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,959
Speaker 1: My parents brought us both together to make sure all

451
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 1: of us were on the same page, and we had

452
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 1: a big group huck and my dad said something that

453
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 1: really resonated with me. This situation is really shitty for everyone,

454
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 1: but I know that love will prevail in the end.

455
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 3: That's really sweet.

456
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, it was too late to go back on the

457
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 1: theme park that we rented that day, so we me

458
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 1: and my parents and her parents agreed to proceed with it,

459
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 1: but without the proposal and invited a bunch more people.

460
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: I told both mine and her parents that I would

461
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,719
Speaker 1: decide when the right time to tell her that we

462
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 1: initially rented the amusement park to propose, because he's like

463
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 1: he didn't feel.

464
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 3: Right about proposing at that point.

465
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 2: Yeah.

466
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: I told her about a week ago when things were

467
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 1: more back to normal and her feelings seemed very complicated,

468
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 1: as one would expect. But I think her summary of

469
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,120
Speaker 1: her emotions is devastated, but understanding is pretty good. Thanks

470
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: to the advice of many redditors, we have decided to

471
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,640
Speaker 1: take couple's therapy.

472
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:45,919
Speaker 3: Which I think is needed after something like this.

473
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: It's been really helpful in helping us understand each other

474
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 1: and get even closer. She proposed herself that she never

475
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 1: wanted to drink alcohol again. She said that it never

476
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: tasted good anyway and never made me happy. Long term,

477
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 1: she said that she mainly just drinks to fit in,

478
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 1: but now plans to stop. So far that goal has

479
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,399
Speaker 1: been going great. We also realized that we both always

480
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 1: want to do events like karaoke together, but sometimes worry

481
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: about bothering the other. Even on the day that she

482
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:10,919
Speaker 1: went with her friends, she wanted to go with me,

483
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 1: but thought that I look busy so went alone.

484
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 3: I wasn't busy.

485
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: We have worked hard at being more communicative and expressing

486
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 1: our feelings more, and it has seriously been great. I've

487
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: also told her about my Reddit posts. I want to

488
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 1: thank everyone for all of the advice, even if it

489
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: was a little mean. We're both so happy right now

490
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: and I have faith that despite this bump in the road,

491
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: we'll keep riding this car forever.

492
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 7: Wow, my.

493
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 5: Goodness, that was a roller coaster wow of emotions.

494
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,120
Speaker 1: It was so I guess, like, how do you feel

495
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 1: about how op handled this situation? Is there anything that

496
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 1: he could have done differently? Is there anything that's like

497
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 1: admirable about how he carried it out?

498
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 3: What do you guys think?

499
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 4: He has? So what a guy, what a person? So

500
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 4: much grace And you know, it's really hard for me

501
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 4: to tell if in that situation I would have acted

502
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 4: the same way. But you know, it seems so apparent

503
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 4: that he loves her, yeah, and is willing to go

504
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 4: to the ends to prove that this happened to support

505
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,919
Speaker 4: her through the whole process, because this is not a

506
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 4: story of like cheating an infidelity anymore. This is a

507
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 4: story of someone that was a faultily assaulted. I'm more

508
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 4: concerned about her friends.

509
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yeah, although it does I mean, like the

510
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: bad thing is like the alcohol thing, But it does

511
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 1: seem like in terms of when they saw what was happening,

512
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: they broke it up. But it also just doesn't seem

513
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 1: like a good environment. Yeah, yeah for her to be around.

514
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 7: Like I'm thinking, okay, so it was one of her

515
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 7: friend's boyfriends and.

516
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: Like, sir, scummy scummiest dude on the planet, by the way.

517
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 7: And he could be like a sociopath like whatever to

518
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 7: kind of like trick her friend and to be like, oh,

519
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 7: I'm a good person, et cetera.

520
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, but also like.

521
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 7: The judge of his character if that was not the case,

522
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 7: you know, it's like I don't know, I think like.

523
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 3: Pressuring someone to drink ten ten rinks.

524
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

525
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 7: It's it's doesn't sound like a good environment generally speaking.

526
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 1: So like I mean, I think like the only thing

527
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,919
Speaker 1: that I don't think was tackled in this story that

528
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 1: I feel like should is just like a an analysis

529
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: or like an auditing of your friend group.

530
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

531
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 4: Yeah.

532
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 7: And the accountability for them, Yeah, they're they're kind of

533
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 7: just like out of the picture and poor, poor Ope and.

534
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 4: Pieces because we don't actually hear what happens to her front.

535
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 4: We don't hear the update.

536
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 3: But I seem like they were like involved in the

537
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 3: story after it.

538
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 4: All, Like, well, it seems crazy because they were they

539
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 4: were there at the karaoke, they were there when they

540
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 4: carried her home, Like there has to.

541
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 7: Be like, well you when you follow up if you

542
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,719
Speaker 7: carried your freaking friend like by the shoulders.

543
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 3: Would you try to help?

544
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, since you were there and essentially, like I would say,

545
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 1: partly responsible for what happened.

546
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, feel awful. If that had happened in my friend group,

547
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 4: I would go like score cher that.

548
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, but fuck like I'm when I am

549
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:29,919
Speaker 1: glad as uh. She like was even though like she

550
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 1: had nothing to apologize for. I feel like she kind

551
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:37,159
Speaker 1: of like brought this instantly to her boyfriend, which shows

552
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: like a really like like a lot of good communication.

553
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 2: Yeah it did.

554
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 7: I think their their past a relationship like literally growing

555
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 7: up from children. Their trust and love in each other

556
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 7: was very apparent both ways in the story, first with

557
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 7: op being like, hey, I want to like give you

558
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 7: a chance and you know, try to connect with you

559
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 7: because I respect you so much and I admire you

560
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 7: so much, and then the other way around too, So

561
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 7: at least it seems that their relationship has passed this

562
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 7: like insane test that no one, no one should ever

563
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 7: have to go through.

564
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: Like hopefully they get through this, and it seems like

565
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 1: they're working on it, but like getting over this, like

566
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 1: now their relationship is.

567
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 3: Going to be so much very strong. Yeah, yeah, which

568
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 3: is you know, I guess a positive from this, like

569
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 3: terrible thing that happened.

570
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 4: I mean they literally the first he went to read it,

571
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,679
Speaker 4: which I think, you know, in some scenarios can be

572
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 4: a little bit dodgy, but he was genuinely looking for help.

573
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 4: He was asking the advice. He wasn't being mean spirited.

574
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 1: I don't think he asked for advice of how to

575
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 1: move through it. Yes, exactly, sad question, which is I think.

576
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: And he wasn't like, oh this blah blah blah, she

577
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 1: cheated onto me. No mention or like air of that.

578
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 1: I felt like in his no, none at all.

579
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 4: He was genuinely trying to see his way through this

580
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 4: whole issue.

581
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow, so I think also, I mean a little

582
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: switching gears is carry. You said you had a story

583
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 1: to share with us at the top of the episode.

584
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 4: I have. Actually it's really interesting because part of it

585
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 4: is not my story to tell. But at the same

586
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 4: time I had met this incredible individual who is now

587
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 4: one of my best friends. Crazy how this all works

588
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 4: because of a similar scenario, not with the update. I

589
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 4: think the update changed a lot of things because I

590
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 4: think the first half of you know, coming home, super

591
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 4: super late, super tired, exhausted, and then the person just

592
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 4: woke up crying, you know, begging for forgiveness because they

593
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 4: were like, I had cheated on you, and so so

594
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 4: it was. It's a long story, so let me let

595
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 4: me get into this. I was cheated on as well

596
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 4: by the same exact person a while ago. You're back,

597
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 4: and I was looking for clues. I was looking for,

598
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 4: you know, like validation in that moment of like, I

599
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 4: can't be the only one going through this, and you know,

600
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 4: like I did my digging, I did my research. What

601
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 4: I did when this particular person dumped me and I

602
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 4: found out the next day he was talking to someone Wow.

603
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 4: But prior to me is I reached out to his

604
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 4: ex and the first thing his ex ever told me

605
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 4: was I'm so sorry. You came to the right place,

606
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 4: and our friendship just kind of started there. And it

607
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 4: turned out he had done the same thing to her,

608
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 4: and word for word, bar for bar, very similar story.

609
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 4: And the reason why I reached out was because that

610
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 4: particular my particular ex had told me he had a

611
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 4: history of this, so he was admitting to it, which

612
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 4: I respect, but the ability to do it over again

613
00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 4: was a little bit like you're you're of it, but

614
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 4: you're not actually making effort to exactly. So my friendship

615
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 4: with this particular person began because of our connection to

616
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 4: this person, to the sex, and so you know, I

617
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 4: empathized so hard with the man in the story real quick,

618
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 4: because initially I was like, oh my god, like I

619
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 4: have this happened to me? This is this, this story

620
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 4: happened to me.

621
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 1: It's actually a great strat like if you ever, if

622
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: someone ever cheats on you and you break up, just

623
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: like make friends with all of their exes.

624
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 4: You weren't for me. For me, No, it literally happened

625
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 4: to me, and I'm still friends with the friend the.

626
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 3: X x XX.

627
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, we meet up, we get coffee, we hang out.

628
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 4: We're going on a roadship next month.

629
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: So oh do you want to know?

630
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 4: Do you want to know of the most batship in

631
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 4: same thing? I have so many stories, but the one

632
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 4: really stupid thing that I probably should have done, it's

633
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 4: still on my Instagram page, is when we met up

634
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 4: for the first time and grabbed dinner. We took a

635
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 4: picture together and I posted his favorite nightmare as.

636
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 3: The caption, So party.

637
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 4: I was so petty, and I know he looked at it.

638
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 4: I know he looked at it. He must have been gobsmacked, But.

639
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 1: Dude, I would be I would be very worried if

640
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: any of my exes have met up. I kind of

641
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: have I have this like this like vision of all

642
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 1: of my exes, like doing a round tables Scott Pilgrim, Yes, literally, God,

643
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: thank you for sharing that story, that doozy of his story.

644
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: And I'm also curious for like any of you guys watching,

645
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: like one, have you ever made friends with one of

646
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 1: your x's xes like Carrie has? And two like how

647
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 1: do you think Op handled the situation? And what do

648
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: you also think should happen with Op's girlfriend's friends, because

649
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 1: those are like the people that I feel like we

650
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: haven't really followed up on properly, but.

651
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,479
Speaker 3: Love would love to know from you guys. Put your

652
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 3: answers to the comments and with that, we'll see you

653
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 3: in the next one.

654
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 7: And if you want to send in your stories, you

655
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 7: can send them to our slash Okop show, our subretta

656
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 7: or our new call line four four zero five zero

657
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 7: eight six' five six seven will be playing your, voicemails

658
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 7: reacting to them and inviting some of you on the.

659
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 7: Show sending your stories we'll see in the next.

660
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 3: One see. Soon