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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's trying to launch a new

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Speaker 1: fashion line of vegetable based meat dresses for toddlers. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I can't figure it out. It can be

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Speaker 1: called baby Gaga personally, I like the back list pork

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Speaker 1: chop party dress. Just make sure you're bringing your salt

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Speaker 1: and pepper. For Laser Stories, the segment where we read

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Speaker 1: weird news storiesrom around the globe, just like everyone else does,

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Speaker 1: except we have a laser. Those other duke nuggets just

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Speaker 1: don't This first laser story, Oh, seats dropped down, his

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Speaker 1: chair is spelled out. That was instant karma, the duke nugget. Alright,

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Speaker 1: this first laser story is out of Corbett Organs. A

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Speaker 1: middle school football coach named Randy Burback just wanted to

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Speaker 1: thank the kids for all the hard work that they

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Speaker 1: put in all seasons. Anyone else like, of course, his

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Speaker 1: name is Randy middle school so and organized a special

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Speaker 1: banquet in which they all could celebrate as a team.

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Speaker 1: Oh than in banquet, Yeah, a pizza party. Just one problem.

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Speaker 1: Randy didn't understand the issue with bringing the middle school

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Speaker 1: boys to the local Hooters establishment. According to him, the

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Speaker 1: restaurant notorious for boobs and tiny shorts. Was honestly the

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Speaker 1: best place that he could think of. Buffalo. I would

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Speaker 1: say anything is right across the street, like his house.

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Speaker 1: Even when the school got wind of his plans, he

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Speaker 1: got called into the principal's office and that's where they

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Speaker 1: explained to Randy it wasn't an appropriate place to have

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Speaker 1: a middle school boys event. Okay, he's like, what am

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Speaker 1: I going to do? The strip clubs closing time? Exactly.

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Speaker 1: The principal added that they loved that he was planning

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Speaker 1: something for the team, and they just asked him to

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Speaker 1: change the venue. Okay, that's not a big ass. If

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Speaker 1: you know Randy like I do, then you know he

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Speaker 1: wouldn't budge. This is what he's going to stand on.

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Speaker 1: He stood his ground and flat out refused to move

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Speaker 1: the middle school banquet from Hooters. Yeah, and suddenly became

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Speaker 1: the hero of every seventh grade boy. After that, the

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Speaker 1: school was given no choice but to fire the coach. However,

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Speaker 1: in a surprising move, Randy says he's still holding the events. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all you want is sad. He shared his logic, saying,

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Speaker 1: I do not feel what has been done is wrong,

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Speaker 1: and I feel the restaurant, in my opinion, is an

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Speaker 1: okay venue. Ah, not that, Randy. No word on how

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Speaker 1: many of the team members will actually be in attendance.

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Speaker 1: I think he's just gonna be crying in a blue

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Speaker 1: cheese dip by himself. Three of the dads exactly this

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Speaker 1: next Lazer stories out of smushing Goodies Central. No, I

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Speaker 1: forgot the address to this place. You've heard the term

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Speaker 1: hardballing that's used when somebody approached Yeah, it's it's a

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Speaker 1: normal term that you use when someone's approaching something in

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Speaker 1: a no nonsense way, like, oh, you won't sell me

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Speaker 1: that dragon popcorn bucket for undre two hundred bucks. Looks

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Speaker 1: like somebody's playing hardball. Okay, well, now it's turning into

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Speaker 1: a dating term, hardballing. Okay, I don't know if we

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Speaker 1: want the explanation. You're getting the explanation. It works like this.

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Speaker 1: You let the other person that you're chatting with no

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Speaker 1: right away what it is you're looking for, whether it's

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Speaker 1: semi serious or long term or just a casual fling. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's no mystery in anyone's intentions now. No, yeah, no mystery,

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Speaker 1: no chit chat, no talk, just right to the point

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Speaker 1: to set the expectations so you don't waste any time.

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Speaker 1: Felt a little Yeah, you have to just come in. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's hardball. A relationship expert in La says more and

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Speaker 1: more of her clients are adopting the approach. She thinks

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Speaker 1: it's partly because everyone's sick of all the awful dating

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Speaker 1: trends like ghosting. Now the pendulum swinging back into the

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Speaker 1: other direction, towards brutal honesty. I like, if I know

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Speaker 1: it takes you back, I don't like you, that's not it.

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Speaker 1: Just figured it out being direct with someone at all.

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Speaker 1: I thought this next laser story is out of contest headquarters.

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Speaker 1: What do you get when you mix Charlie and the

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Speaker 1: Chocolate factory with beer? You get the contest of a

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Speaker 1: flip in lifetime. Okay, what are you talking about? I

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Speaker 1: say that because we just got word Budweiser's hiding ten

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Speaker 1: thousand golden cans of beer in specially marked packs throughout

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Speaker 1: the country. That's a lot ten. This sounds dumb, but like,

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Speaker 1: I love it when companies do this. I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: I want to find You're just like, oh shiny. If

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Speaker 1: you find one, you don't get a magical tour of

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Speaker 1: the Anheierser Bush Factory. I mean there's ten thousand of

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Speaker 1: them out there. That would be a lot of tours. Instead,

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Speaker 1: you get a chance to win a million dollars another chance,

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Speaker 1: though it's not even guarantee, you get a one in

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Speaker 1: ten thousand. You actually now because you can also enter

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Speaker 1: this by going to Budweiser's website printing a picture of

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Speaker 1: a golden can. Then you wrap that around a normal can,

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Speaker 1: take a photo of it, and then do the social

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Speaker 1: media part. Are you joking? I'm serious, man, Wait, so

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Speaker 1: you want me to go on social media admit that

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Speaker 1: I drink but light and maybe maybe maybe I'll get

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Speaker 1: some much Okay, Well, I enjoy bud Light. If bud

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Speaker 1: Light would ever like to sponsor me or do then,

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Speaker 1: by the way of courselight, girl, yeah, we got to

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Speaker 1: throw down after this. Your next laser story is out

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Speaker 1: of what were you thinking? Central? The TSA just released

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Speaker 1: their annual list of the top ten catches from the

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Speaker 1: last year, and while there's the usual assortment of guns

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Speaker 1: and other weapons, one item really stands out. I love these.

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Speaker 1: Someone apparently tried to fly out of Hobby International Airport

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Speaker 1: in Texas with a meth burrito, which it's exactly what

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Speaker 1: it sounds like, crystal meth inside of a breakfast burrito.

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Speaker 1: The idea like the idea session they had to come

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Speaker 1: up with that think they'll never look. Some of the

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Speaker 1: other strange things that the TSA found last year include

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Speaker 1: bullets inside of deodorant fresh smelling. Yeah. They also found

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Speaker 1: a meat cleaver, a chainsaw, a firearm belt buckle, and

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Speaker 1: a wineholder shaped like a gun. You feel good about

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Yeah, so if you're keeping score at home,

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Speaker 1: the TSA confiscated nearly fifty seven hundred firearms at checkpoints

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Speaker 1: last year, which is the highest number ever recorded since

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Speaker 1: the agency's inception back in two thousand one. There's a COVID.

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Speaker 1: People are like, look, if I see any COVID, I'm shooting.

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Speaker 1: It just goes to show you never know who's packing

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Speaker 1: dangerous concealed weapons. Yeah, well you do, but it's not

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Speaker 1: really concealed anymore. That sound means, oh, it's very nice.

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Speaker 1: I mean the laser stories has coming to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day. We'll do it again the same time

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Speaker 1: on Wednesday. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning