WEBVTT - Love Stories: Dr. Jeff Gardere and Dr. Amber Brody

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<v Speaker 1>Hey there, folks. In this episode, our Love Stories series

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<v Speaker 1>continues and up next doctor Jeff Gardier, doctor Amber Brody.

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<v Speaker 1>He's black, she's white, she's Jewish, he's not. They're twenty

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<v Speaker 1>seven years at bard in age and they are newlyweds.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome everybody to this special Cuffing season edition of Amy

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<v Speaker 1>and Tjay and wrote to anybody who's familiar with our

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<v Speaker 1>podcast over the past year knows doctor Guardier and knows

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<v Speaker 1>that we adored as dude.

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<v Speaker 2>We do, and we have leaned on him for more

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<v Speaker 2>than a decade now, but especially in the last couple

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<v Speaker 2>of years. He is known as America's psychologist. He talks

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<v Speaker 2>us through the tough times in this world, but also

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<v Speaker 2>talks about relationships. He is a relationship expert. In fact,

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<v Speaker 2>it's funny because any of you who might have a

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<v Speaker 2>therapist or someone who you lean on for advice, you

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<v Speaker 2>almost sometimes feel like you can't ask them about their

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<v Speaker 2>life or about what their relationship is like. So I

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<v Speaker 2>actually really didn't know that much about doctor Gardier's personal life,

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<v Speaker 2>and we've known his due twenty years.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, just going back to our days and cable news,

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<v Speaker 1>you've been interviewing this guy for a long long time.

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<v Speaker 1>Was not that familiar with his personal life. No, he

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<v Speaker 1>used to talk about it, his wife and this and that.

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<v Speaker 1>We hear this all the time who he's with, but

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<v Speaker 1>we never put it all together.

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<v Speaker 2>We knew he was divorced, and we knew he was

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<v Speaker 2>with someone else, but other than that, we never really

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<v Speaker 2>pride or leaned in on that because we just didn't

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<v Speaker 2>feel We felt like there was a boundary, okay, healthy boundary.

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<v Speaker 1>We got to lean in recently because we went to

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<v Speaker 1>his wedding.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, we got the invitation. We thought, well, this is

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<v Speaker 2>an invitation to more than just a wedding. We can

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<v Speaker 2>start asking questions.

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<v Speaker 1>So we did, and you know what we found out.

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<v Speaker 1>We found out that there is nearly a three decade

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<v Speaker 1>age difference between doctor Gardier and his wife, and they

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<v Speaker 1>love talking about it. It seems they love giving each

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<v Speaker 1>other hell about it. They love even at the wedding,

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<v Speaker 1>it was a part of the vows, even the ceremony.

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<v Speaker 1>They cracked little jokes about it.

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<v Speaker 2>So I didn't know what to expect going to the

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<v Speaker 2>wedding or even meeting his better half.

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<v Speaker 3>I think he would say that for sure, they're both doctors.

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<v Speaker 3>Doctor Jeff Gardier, doctor Amber Brodie. She's a physician.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course we mentioned he's America psychologist, but yeah, she's

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<v Speaker 2>twenty seven years younger than him. And this wedding was

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<v Speaker 2>incredible what it brought together and their level of comfort. Look,

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<v Speaker 2>these two have been together for more than a decade,

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<v Speaker 2>they have two children together, and they just recently, as

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<v Speaker 2>we pointed out, decided to actually make it official and

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<v Speaker 2>get married. So we wanted to ask them all the

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<v Speaker 2>questions that one would have about anyone, but specifically their situation.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so we ask them, as we've been doing in

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<v Speaker 1>our series, the exact same list of questions that we've

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<v Speaker 1>asked all of our couples, and their answers were fascinating,

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<v Speaker 1>same questions, how often do you fight, you go to

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<v Speaker 1>bed angry? Who handles the household chores? But the questions

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<v Speaker 1>got interesting when it turned to age, when it turned

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<v Speaker 1>to certain things that it turned to family accepting a relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>things got a little interesting.

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<v Speaker 2>They certainly did, and I have to say surprising I

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<v Speaker 2>And you know, I always think it's interesting when you're

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<v Speaker 2>asking a doctor who counsels other people on their relationships

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<v Speaker 2>about his own relationship, and no matter what he says, Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you've got Wifey right there to tell him that's not

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<v Speaker 2>exactly what happened. We saw that happen quite a bit.

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<v Speaker 2>It was amazing. I mean think about it. If you've

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<v Speaker 2>ever been in any therapy, can you imagine turning the

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<v Speaker 2>tables on your therapist. That's exactly what we got to

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<v Speaker 2>do in this episode.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you know what, the folks, we can tell

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<v Speaker 1>you this is is one of our favorites and one

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<v Speaker 1>of the most enjoyable, and I think you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>find it to be as well. In this entire series

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<v Speaker 1>we've been doing. Again, reminded we drop a new one

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<v Speaker 1>every day of the week leading up to Valentine's Day

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<v Speaker 1>and today, enjoy it because we got a treat for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Doctor Jeff Guardier and doctor Amber Brody. Take a listen

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<v Speaker 1>to our conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>And we have the doctors with us right now, Doctor

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<v Speaker 2>Jeff Guardier and his beautiful bride, doctor Amber Brody.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you for being with us, guys.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you, thanks for having us. Great to be on

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<v Speaker 4>with both of you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and well we should apologize to Amber. We've had

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<v Speaker 1>doctor Guardia on several times. We didn't extend an invitation

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<v Speaker 1>to the amber until now that's our bad. That's our bad.

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<v Speaker 3>Isn't it fun though?

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<v Speaker 2>To be able to turn the tables and ask the

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<v Speaker 2>therapist questions about his relationship. I've really been looking forward

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<v Speaker 2>to this one. Guys.

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<v Speaker 5>That's why my hands are shaving.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, we'll dig right in. So the first question is

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<v Speaker 2>the one that we ask everyone to start off with.

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<v Speaker 3>And I love this both of you.

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<v Speaker 2>If you would give us three words to describe your

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<v Speaker 2>relationship right now, Jeff will start with.

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<v Speaker 5>You, Friendship, loving, passion.

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<v Speaker 6>Those are good ones. Can I say?

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<v Speaker 5>You could say anything you want?

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<v Speaker 7>You can even gold, fabulous, envious, a nice and.

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<v Speaker 1>Kind and kind. Now I have to say this first

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<v Speaker 1>time we've heard envious of them? Now, why did you

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<v Speaker 1>pick that one? I'm curious envious? Where did they come?

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<v Speaker 6>Envy of everyone?

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<v Speaker 1>That's awesome?

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<v Speaker 5>Envious?

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<v Speaker 8>I don't know when I feel that. When we're with

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<v Speaker 8>other couples, I feel that we're very lucky.

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<v Speaker 5>That yeah, but they're not'm envious.

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<v Speaker 4>They may be questioning, like, what the hell is he

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<v Speaker 4>dealing with her?

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<v Speaker 5>Vice versa?

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<v Speaker 1>Those these are her words, these are her words. Let'm

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<v Speaker 1>have a word.

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<v Speaker 3>She's pinching his cheek right now. It's great.

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<v Speaker 8>I'm old to stop saying old, by the way, relative really,

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<v Speaker 8>and most of the people I spend my days with

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<v Speaker 8>are you know, between eighty and one hundred. So every

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<v Speaker 8>time I come home Monday through Friday, there's this young,

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<v Speaker 8>dapper gentleman.

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<v Speaker 5>And I'm only ten years younger than that.

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<v Speaker 1>That is awesome. Okay, we're going to get into it

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<v Speaker 1>because that questions on here as well. But the next question,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll start with you on this one, Amber. Was there

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<v Speaker 1>immediate chemistry when you two first met?

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<v Speaker 6>Now, well, and I think that's a good thing.

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<v Speaker 8>I think that you know, when flames burned too hot,

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<v Speaker 8>they tend to burn out.

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<v Speaker 5>As at the beginning. Yeah, so at the beginning, the.

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<v Speaker 8>Fact that we had a nice concrete base and foundation

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<v Speaker 8>of a friendship to work with.

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<v Speaker 6>When suddenly there was a flame, it was it was.

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<v Speaker 5>And it wasn't my flame.

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<v Speaker 4>It was her flame, right, it was her flame, not

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<v Speaker 4>my flame.

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<v Speaker 6>It was easy.

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<v Speaker 4>There was there was no attraction, there was nothing going on.

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<v Speaker 4>We were nothing but colleagues, and then from colleagues we

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<v Speaker 4>became friends.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow, that sounds really familiar. We were also on the

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<v Speaker 3>slop story.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, so who ultimately ended up saying I love you first?

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<v Speaker 6>That was me, yes, and it must have been that.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know. I've heard the term and I've mentioned

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<v Speaker 6>it to our rabbi as well.

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<v Speaker 8>Godsmack where you're just going about your business and all

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<v Speaker 8>of a sudden you're.

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<v Speaker 6>Just like, oh God, I love him?

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<v Speaker 5>What do I do?

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<v Speaker 6>Like that really actually happened?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Am so relating with you. I felt the same way.

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<v Speaker 3>You're like, wait a minute, when did this happen? How

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<v Speaker 3>did this happen? But it's definitely happening.

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<v Speaker 5>Didn't I do.

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<v Speaker 4>That therapy session with you guys on your podcast?

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<v Speaker 5>Right?

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<v Speaker 1>We don't want to call it a therapy session. We

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<v Speaker 1>had you as a guest.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, it turned into a therapy We talked.

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<v Speaker 1>Some things out, all right. Next question here, how long

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<v Speaker 1>did you date before you got engaged? How long were

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<v Speaker 1>you engaged before you got married?

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<v Speaker 5>Okay?

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<v Speaker 4>We dated for a very short period of time, right,

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<v Speaker 4>and we were friends first for how many colleagues and

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<v Speaker 4>friends for about what three years?

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<v Speaker 6>He says for years, but I think it was six months.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, that's a big discrepancy, guys.

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<v Speaker 8>What Well, if you look at our daughter who was

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<v Speaker 8>born at a particular time.

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<v Speaker 5>When did we start working at the medical school.

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<v Speaker 8>It's great ither I came there in twenty thirteen. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 8>we were like we saw each other like for a

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<v Speaker 8>half of a semester in the spring.

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<v Speaker 5>Semester, so we knew each other.

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<v Speaker 6>We all like of each other. And then someone made us.

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<v Speaker 4>Work on it for a couple of years and then

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<v Speaker 4>we started teaching together.

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<v Speaker 8>I started working there July of twenty thirteen. I moved

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<v Speaker 8>from my hometown of Philly, Go Eagles to New York.

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<v Speaker 8>And our daughter was born March of fifteen. Okay, so

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<v Speaker 8>there's no couple of years there, all.

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<v Speaker 4>Right, So this is confusing. So what happened was we

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<v Speaker 4>worked together at the medical school.

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<v Speaker 5>We knew of one another for maybe two three years

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<v Speaker 5>you were.

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<v Speaker 6>There, No, three years later Noble was born.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, so you were there for some period of time.

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<v Speaker 6>Not long. I started there in twenty thirteen.

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<v Speaker 8>So anyway, we had to work on a lecture and

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<v Speaker 8>then I fell in love with him, and then.

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<v Speaker 5>We was it was bringing me lunch.

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<v Speaker 4>It was bringing me lunch, and all the secretary usual

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<v Speaker 4>laughing because they were like, you don't know what's going on.

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<v Speaker 5>And I was like I have no idea of what's

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<v Speaker 5>going on. Okay, this is.

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<v Speaker 4>A colleague, you know, I'm not getting involved with the colleague.

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<v Speaker 4>And I was actually helping Jay dates Jewish days.

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<v Speaker 5>I was her going on dates and we.

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<v Speaker 8>Work on our lectures together and our powerpoints and be like,

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<v Speaker 8>let's go get a beer, okay.

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<v Speaker 6>And then I was showing him how to use Tinder

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<v Speaker 6>the apps wipe lefts wipe right, and he goes to me,

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<v Speaker 6>I can't put.

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<v Speaker 8>My face on there, and I'm going, what's wrong with

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<v Speaker 8>your face? I didn't know who he was.

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<v Speaker 6>He was just you know, a.

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<v Speaker 5>Lot of people don't know who I am.

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<v Speaker 4>So anyway, long stories, because we know we're eating up

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<v Speaker 4>valuable time.

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<v Speaker 1>This is great stuff.

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<v Speaker 4>I love it. She invited me after I went through

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<v Speaker 4>you know, Jay dates with her, you know, helping her

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<v Speaker 4>pick her.

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<v Speaker 5>Dates, and saw me, your date, How was your date

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<v Speaker 5>last night? How was it?

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<v Speaker 4>And then so one day she said, meet me at

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<v Speaker 4>this restaurant in Harlem because we used to have Martini's

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<v Speaker 4>and clams dare oysters, you know, just as colleagues to discuss,

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<v Speaker 4>you know, the lectures. And then she said, I think

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<v Speaker 4>we should be together forever. That was the pitch. That

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<v Speaker 4>was the proposal. I said, absolutely.

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<v Speaker 5>Not, you're too young. I'm not gonna do it. Instead,

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<v Speaker 5>I'll give you more children.

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<v Speaker 4>And then she said I'll change your diapers because I'm

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<v Speaker 4>a jenius when the time comes.

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<v Speaker 5>And I said, okay, only.

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<v Speaker 6>The first that was true.

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<v Speaker 3>What what did he say, Amberwyn? You said that to him?

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<v Speaker 8>He was pretty silent, but put his hand on my

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<v Speaker 8>leg and said okay.

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<v Speaker 3>And that was that wow, And I.

0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:07.040
<v Speaker 4>Said, okay, what am I doing for the next twenty years?

0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:08.000
<v Speaker 5>All right? Fine?

0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:12.120
<v Speaker 4>Just like that, I stepped out on faith Amy and TJ.

0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.760
<v Speaker 4>I was like, okay, we're friends, we know one another.

0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.560
<v Speaker 4>She seems to be a very nice person, you know,

0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:23.640
<v Speaker 4>why not? And it worked out really well because I

0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:29.160
<v Speaker 4>had four children. She immediately fell into the group.

0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:30.000
<v Speaker 5>You know.

0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:34.960
<v Speaker 4>They got along except for one child who was like but.

0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:36.240
<v Speaker 6>She screamed for like an hour.

0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:40.240
<v Speaker 4>Well because she's closer to your age, right, and so

0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:44.000
<v Speaker 4>after that was settled. But she's been an incredible mother

0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:48.080
<v Speaker 4>along with their mother, who is an incredible mother and team.

0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:51.400
<v Speaker 4>And then we had two more and that's how we're together.

0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:54.679
<v Speaker 4>And we've been together now. We lived in sin for

0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:58.880
<v Speaker 4>ten years and then we finally officially got married. Where

0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:01.880
<v Speaker 4>you guys, we we could tell folks you were there, yes,

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 4>at our wedding. It was the first Jewish wedding in

0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:09.960
<v Speaker 4>the Malcolm x Betty Shabbaz Center in the Muslim Center,

0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:10.839
<v Speaker 4>so we're proud of that.

0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:13.319
<v Speaker 2>It was the most well, it was beautiful and it

0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:15.760
<v Speaker 2>was incredible, but it was definitely because of what you

0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.200
<v Speaker 2>just mentioned, one of the most unique weddings I've ever

0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:20.280
<v Speaker 2>been to in my life. To see all the different

0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:23.160
<v Speaker 2>and how cool is that all the different religions and

0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:26.200
<v Speaker 2>backgrounds and ages all coming together to celebrate your love.

0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:33.200
<v Speaker 4>It was absolutely race, religion, political affiliations. Nice mix there, Yeah,

0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.199
<v Speaker 4>it was a very nice, nice mix. But we had

0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:40.600
<v Speaker 4>we had Democrats Republicans.

0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:43.320
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, you were the tie that binded them all.

0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:46.319
<v Speaker 5>Together, Republicans. That's why we didn't talk about politics.

0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:50.160
<v Speaker 3>All Right, we've alluded. We've alluded to it quite a bit.

0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:52.600
<v Speaker 2>But go ahead and tell us what is your age

0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:55.719
<v Speaker 2>difference and has that had an impact on your relationship?

0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:03.160
<v Speaker 8>We are twenty seven years in a separation. We always

0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:06.680
<v Speaker 8>laugh that he got his PhD the year I was born,

0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:11.240
<v Speaker 8>If that puts any perspective on it. That's quite impressive.

0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:15.199
<v Speaker 8>Like you were a doctor. I was in diapers.

0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:18.600
<v Speaker 4>You know, I think the important thing here, you know,

0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:20.680
<v Speaker 4>and I point this out to a lot of folks.

0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:24.080
<v Speaker 4>You know, this was not a vanity project. It's not

0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:27.320
<v Speaker 4>about looking for someone, you know, as an older person,

0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:32.720
<v Speaker 4>younger than myself. It just, you know, everything just fell

0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:36.360
<v Speaker 4>in place in that way. I would have preferred to

0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:39.040
<v Speaker 4>be with someone of my own age, but you know,

0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:42.360
<v Speaker 4>she's very mature, so it worked out.

0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:44.800
<v Speaker 1>And we should say you all fully embrace and have

0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:47.720
<v Speaker 1>fun with and even you Amber at the wedding where

0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.080
<v Speaker 1>you also were making jokes up there at the altar

0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:52.320
<v Speaker 1>were as you were getting married, so you.

0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.040
<v Speaker 6>All not laugh and you'd be crying, right, honey, that's

0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:55.560
<v Speaker 6>what he says.

0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:57.800
<v Speaker 4>Well, yeah, I mean we you know, we talk about,

0:14:57.840 --> 0:14:59.480
<v Speaker 4>you know, our first date. It was the three of

0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.200
<v Speaker 4>us and it were like, what do you mean the

0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:05.920
<v Speaker 4>three of us? It was me, you and my walker.

0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:09.680
<v Speaker 1>You're holding yourself, doctor GUARDI are you're a good looking

0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.400
<v Speaker 1>I am you're not good looking for your age. You're

0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:17.240
<v Speaker 1>good looking, okay.

0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:17.000
<v Speaker 4>Person, I've said her, if you're going to put me

0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:19.600
<v Speaker 4>in a nursing home later on, because you're a geriatrician.

0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:25.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm getting a girlfriend in that nursing home, I said,

0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.360
<v Speaker 4>because I'm walking in there. And if you walk into

0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:29.200
<v Speaker 4>a nursing home at a certain age, you know what

0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:29.680
<v Speaker 4>they say.

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:33.840
<v Speaker 1>Hey, sexy, I thought you're going to say you ain't

0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:37.280
<v Speaker 1>walking out, so I will say.

0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:38.960
<v Speaker 6>You did ask. The second part of that question was

0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:41.120
<v Speaker 6>on the relationship.

0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:46.000
<v Speaker 8>The I only kind of just notice the difference, like

0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:47.880
<v Speaker 8>he'll talk about something that happened in the past, and

0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.440
<v Speaker 8>I will have zero recollection because it happened before I

0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:50.960
<v Speaker 8>was born.

0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:58.040
<v Speaker 4>So I'm as far as music and culture and so on. Yeah,

0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.560
<v Speaker 4>she had no idea who Topo GJ was. For example,

0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:08.360
<v Speaker 4>remember that Sullivan to GJ.

0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:11.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you got me even at Sullivan.

0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 5>Well, I'm much older than you guys.

0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.720
<v Speaker 6>Do you guys have an age gap as well?

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Right, yes, I'm four and a half years older than TEJ.

0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:24.480
<v Speaker 1>Four and a half? What is she twelve? Who uses age?

0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:26.560
<v Speaker 5>That's not an age gap?

0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:29.440
<v Speaker 1>But Amber too, You got me be because I used

0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:32.440
<v Speaker 1>this line all the time I was in junior high

0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:34.040
<v Speaker 1>school when she was in college.

0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:36.880
<v Speaker 2>You know what the see But no, but he's saying

0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:39.400
<v Speaker 2>ninth grade and I was a freshman in college. Ninth

0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.200
<v Speaker 2>grade was high school where I went to school. So

0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:43.760
<v Speaker 2>he likes to be dramatic and say it was junior high.

0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:46.440
<v Speaker 1>Again, a factual statement. I was in junior high school

0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:49.360
<v Speaker 1>when she was in college, and we'll leave it to there.

0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:52.800
<v Speaker 3>And then I just say, lucky you, lovey.

0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.400
<v Speaker 5>You, TJ, lucky you. That's right.

0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:59.200
<v Speaker 2>So why did you guys want to get married? You

0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 2>had been together for ten years. Why was it important

0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:06.000
<v Speaker 2>to be married? And what do you think your relationship

0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.560
<v Speaker 2>would be like if you just chose to stay together

0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:13.200
<v Speaker 2>but be unmarried, Like why was the ring important?

0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.520
<v Speaker 5>I don't even know that was your decision to get married.

0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.959
<v Speaker 8>I figure if there was a zombie apocalypse tomorrow and

0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:23.240
<v Speaker 8>I never got.

0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.520
<v Speaker 6>To be a bride, that would be a damn shape.

0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:30.680
<v Speaker 8>I've spent my whole life, you know, I think honestly,

0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:33.879
<v Speaker 8>if you recall that movie twenty seven Dresses, that was me,

0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:40.240
<v Speaker 8>you know, going through college, then med school, then residency

0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:41.080
<v Speaker 8>and fellowship.

0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:42.400
<v Speaker 6>I did not graduate from my.

0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:46.560
<v Speaker 8>Training till thirty one, so there was no serious relationships

0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:48.359
<v Speaker 8>and I was the perpetual bridesmaid.

0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:49.320
<v Speaker 3>That makes sense.

0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:51.640
<v Speaker 6>I also do recall that.

0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:54.040
<v Speaker 8>Sex in the City line that Miranda gave when she

0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:57.840
<v Speaker 8>was about to marry Steve, and she said, I think

0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:00.879
<v Speaker 8>it's important to stand there in front of the people

0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:03.040
<v Speaker 8>you love and say those words.

0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:07.280
<v Speaker 4>And that she's not giving you guys any advice, by.

0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:10.400
<v Speaker 3>The way, you know, I like that though.

0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:13.280
<v Speaker 1>It's very good. That's one of the better arguments I've heard.

0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:16.080
<v Speaker 8>Stuck with Nate, because at first Miranda did not She

0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:17.919
<v Speaker 8>was like, that's ridiculous. And then she was like, you

0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:19.680
<v Speaker 8>know what, it is important to stand in front of

0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:22.199
<v Speaker 8>those you love and say those words out loud to

0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:22.880
<v Speaker 8>the one you love.

0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:26.200
<v Speaker 6>And so I wanted to do.

0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:28.879
<v Speaker 5>That, Okay, And we did it. We did it, We

0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:30.160
<v Speaker 5>did it. Yeah.

0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:33.560
<v Speaker 4>And then she had the nerve to renovate our apartment

0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:36.800
<v Speaker 4>in the same year as that wedding. And I looked

0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.560
<v Speaker 4>at my bank account and I was like, what happened

0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:40.119
<v Speaker 4>to the money?

0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:42.480
<v Speaker 5>She said, besting in our future.

0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:45.600
<v Speaker 7>I'm like, Okay, the money's still there, all right, all right,

0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:49.119
<v Speaker 7>all right, okay.

0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:52.880
<v Speaker 1>Next next question for you to did your relationship have

0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:56.160
<v Speaker 1>the full support of your friends and family?

0:18:56.920 --> 0:19:00.200
<v Speaker 5>Oh? You had to go there, right, It's on the list.

0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:04.640
<v Speaker 5>How to go there? Well, do you want to share?

0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.080
<v Speaker 5>I think we can share what we found out.

0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:09.520
<v Speaker 6>On the We found out on the honeymoon.

0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:11.879
<v Speaker 4>What I mean we found out. Oh no, you didn't

0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:17.280
<v Speaker 4>know either about your brother. No, that story, Yeah, you

0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:18.600
<v Speaker 4>want to tell that story?

0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:19.959
<v Speaker 5>Should we tell that story?

0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:20.359
<v Speaker 1>Please?

0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:21.760
<v Speaker 5>All right?

0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:24.920
<v Speaker 4>This was a big family secret that they finally revealed.

0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:26.240
<v Speaker 5>Go ahead, tell the story.

0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:31.959
<v Speaker 8>From what I got gathered, the family told me that

0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:35.919
<v Speaker 8>they had like had a meeting to get together and

0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:36.919
<v Speaker 8>how are we going to set.

0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:40.679
<v Speaker 4>So they had an intervention, all right, they had an

0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:47.520
<v Speaker 4>intervention on zoom or telephone, yes, where they said Amber

0:19:47.560 --> 0:19:51.840
<v Speaker 4>has lost her mind. She's gotten together with the senior citizen,

0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:56.920
<v Speaker 4>and you know, we've got to stop this from happening.

0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:58.840
<v Speaker 4>What is happening with her?

0:19:59.359 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 5>You know?

0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:04.359
<v Speaker 4>And so they tried to figure out whether she was

0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:05.639
<v Speaker 4>mentally stable or not.

0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:08.440
<v Speaker 3>No, that's that's serious.

0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:11.359
<v Speaker 4>Keep in mind, and that bet we all get along.

0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:13.280
<v Speaker 4>I love her brother, her brother loves me.

0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:14.840
<v Speaker 5>Where we're doing, Okay?

0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:18.600
<v Speaker 6>Ten years ago this happened a long, long, long time.

0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:20.879
<v Speaker 4>And now things have changed a lot, and her family

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:24.280
<v Speaker 4>has been on both sides, her mother's side of the family,

0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:28.880
<v Speaker 4>her father's side of the family. They're very embracing, very

0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:30.960
<v Speaker 4>wonderful you know, very.

0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:33.160
<v Speaker 6>Happy and all is well.

0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:36.840
<v Speaker 8>Had that being said, they did admit to us that

0:20:36.840 --> 0:20:38.240
<v Speaker 8>that had occurred, and I did.

0:20:38.119 --> 0:20:38.640
<v Speaker 3>Not know that.

0:20:38.720 --> 0:20:38.960
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:40.879
<v Speaker 2>I mean the cool thing is they've come around and

0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:42.879
<v Speaker 2>look at you now, and that's awesome.

0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:43.920
<v Speaker 3>Exactly exactly.

0:20:44.480 --> 0:20:46.840
<v Speaker 2>How would you this was the next question, but this

0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:49.280
<v Speaker 2>will be slightly amended for y'all because you're newlyweds. But

0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:51.840
<v Speaker 2>how would you describe your first year of marriage? I

0:20:51.840 --> 0:20:55.359
<v Speaker 2>would ask, how is your relationship now that you're married?

0:20:55.440 --> 0:20:56.240
<v Speaker 3>Has it changed?

0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:05.040
<v Speaker 8>Gonna say no, because I always felt married to you.

0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:09.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I would agree, But I think it's the years

0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:13.760
<v Speaker 4>have gone by Amy and TJ that I think we

0:21:13.840 --> 0:21:20.440
<v Speaker 4>get more and more romantic and more into the first

0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:24.560
<v Speaker 4>couple of years were more about friendship, being best friends

0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:29.080
<v Speaker 4>and changing diapers yeah, and supporting one another two Yeah.

0:21:29.680 --> 0:21:33.159
<v Speaker 4>But now we have really taken the time to be

0:21:34.040 --> 0:21:36.640
<v Speaker 4>We've always been kind to one another, but even kinder

0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:40.600
<v Speaker 4>and more romantic. We make it. We make it a job.

0:21:41.280 --> 0:21:45.720
<v Speaker 4>And what I mean by that is, well, but it's

0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:47.640
<v Speaker 4>you know, if you talk the talk, you walk the walk.

0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:51.359
<v Speaker 4>When I work with with couples, I say, you know,

0:21:51.720 --> 0:21:54.880
<v Speaker 4>it's really important that you do the necessary things check

0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:58.439
<v Speaker 4>off the boxes every day. A hug, a touch on

0:21:58.520 --> 0:22:01.800
<v Speaker 4>the shoulder, a kiss, saying I love you, even if

0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:04.520
<v Speaker 4>you're not feeling it, you should do it. So we

0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:07.720
<v Speaker 4>make it a job. We and but it's it's it's

0:22:07.760 --> 0:22:09.800
<v Speaker 4>it's great work. If you can get it right.

0:22:10.359 --> 0:22:12.639
<v Speaker 1>You follow your own advice. That's good to hear.

0:22:12.800 --> 0:22:14.320
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I do, he does, all right.

0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:17.439
<v Speaker 2>I disclosure on this next question because we've asked everyone

0:22:17.520 --> 0:22:19.639
<v Speaker 2>this and you can answer it however you'd like. But

0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:29.800
<v Speaker 2>how would you describe your sex life?

0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:31.359
<v Speaker 6>Wonderful?

0:22:33.400 --> 0:22:37.080
<v Speaker 4>I think it's one you know, the word I would

0:22:37.160 --> 0:22:44.560
<v Speaker 4>use is very intimate. It's very intimate in that it's

0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:51.240
<v Speaker 4>something just for us. It's something where it's not just

0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:58.960
<v Speaker 4>a physical, you know, interaction, but an emotional and spiritual interaction.

0:22:59.200 --> 0:23:01.880
<v Speaker 5>Wouldn't you say it's something that is so.

0:23:03.280 --> 0:23:08.400
<v Speaker 4>It just it's it's gorgeous everything yet expresses love on

0:23:08.520 --> 0:23:10.600
<v Speaker 4>many different levels.

0:23:10.640 --> 0:23:12.080
<v Speaker 6>Good, great, wonderful.

0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:15.320
<v Speaker 1>Next question here. I know you'll kind of hit on

0:23:15.320 --> 0:23:17.680
<v Speaker 1>this already because you talk about just a simple touch

0:23:17.680 --> 0:23:19.840
<v Speaker 1>on the shoulder, a hug or kiss. But how important

0:23:20.000 --> 0:23:23.440
<v Speaker 1>is physical touch in your relationship? And kind of specifically

0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:27.080
<v Speaker 1>do you hold hands when you're just randomly walking down

0:23:27.119 --> 0:23:27.440
<v Speaker 1>the street.

0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:32.360
<v Speaker 5>Yeah. Yeah, we even hold hands in the house.

0:23:34.520 --> 0:23:36.320
<v Speaker 8>If we get a minute to sit down next to

0:23:36.359 --> 0:23:38.359
<v Speaker 8>each other and the kids are not driving, it's crazy.

0:23:38.359 --> 0:23:40.080
<v Speaker 6>And if we're sitting down next to each other, we

0:23:40.119 --> 0:23:40.840
<v Speaker 6>are holding hands.

0:23:41.040 --> 0:23:44.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but we do have to tell them about your

0:23:44.600 --> 0:23:46.840
<v Speaker 4>aversion to sentimental Sundays.

0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:47.399
<v Speaker 8>Wow.

0:23:47.440 --> 0:23:51.439
<v Speaker 4>So on Sunday, when we're having dinner and a glass

0:23:51.440 --> 0:23:54.520
<v Speaker 4>of red wine, I'll tell her, you know, isn't it

0:23:54.600 --> 0:24:00.760
<v Speaker 4>wonderful that the most improbable relationship the couple people never

0:24:00.840 --> 0:24:05.800
<v Speaker 4>thought could happen? You know, how is it that we're together?

0:24:06.160 --> 0:24:10.480
<v Speaker 4>Isn't it strange but wonderful? She'll say, Oh, it's sentimental Sundays,

0:24:10.560 --> 0:24:13.439
<v Speaker 4>isn't it.

0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:14.920
<v Speaker 5>She said.

0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:17.840
<v Speaker 8>I always tell him he's more of a communicator than I,

0:24:18.160 --> 0:24:20.560
<v Speaker 8>which is a good thing. He thinks something and it

0:24:20.600 --> 0:24:23.240
<v Speaker 8>comes out, or he feels an emotion and it comes

0:24:23.280 --> 0:24:26.440
<v Speaker 8>out and he shows it, whereas I'm just like, oh,

0:24:26.480 --> 0:24:29.080
<v Speaker 8>I'm so lucky and great and I love Jeff so much.

0:24:29.119 --> 0:24:31.679
<v Speaker 8>But I'll just be like saying it while scrambling eggs,

0:24:31.720 --> 0:24:32.720
<v Speaker 8>like I don't say.

0:24:32.480 --> 0:24:38.240
<v Speaker 4>It, but she says, but she says it while scrambling eggs.

0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:40.720
<v Speaker 4>Because we don't know how much longer we'll have with

0:24:40.800 --> 0:24:45.480
<v Speaker 4>eggs meaning to it.

0:24:45.600 --> 0:24:46.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh my goodness.

0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:50.160
<v Speaker 2>On the flip side, how often do you all fight

0:24:50.359 --> 0:24:51.280
<v Speaker 2>or have an argument?

0:24:54.680 --> 0:24:55.040
<v Speaker 5>Rarely?

0:24:55.880 --> 0:25:00.520
<v Speaker 6>If I were to quantify it, I'd say twice the year.

0:25:00.600 --> 0:25:03.160
<v Speaker 3>Of Wow, was it always like that?

0:25:04.920 --> 0:25:05.600
<v Speaker 5>Pretty much?

0:25:05.760 --> 0:25:09.520
<v Speaker 4>And when we do, when we do argue or have

0:25:09.600 --> 0:25:14.439
<v Speaker 4>a disagreement, I think we solve it within what thirty minutes?

0:25:14.600 --> 0:25:17.639
<v Speaker 5>Fifty? Not even that's amazing.

0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:18.480
<v Speaker 1>What do you fight?

0:25:18.600 --> 0:25:20.679
<v Speaker 5>I think? But I think that I think the reason

0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:25.240
<v Speaker 5>is amy. It's the difference in the ages. I think

0:25:25.400 --> 0:25:27.720
<v Speaker 5>that makes a difference. You know.

0:25:27.800 --> 0:25:30.119
<v Speaker 4>I often said to her, if you married someone in

0:25:30.200 --> 0:25:32.840
<v Speaker 4>your own age, you might be divorced by now.

0:25:35.280 --> 0:25:38.160
<v Speaker 5>I have the patience of ah.

0:25:39.160 --> 0:25:42.359
<v Speaker 1>Ah, it is all coming together.

0:25:42.400 --> 0:25:46.000
<v Speaker 3>Now do you what what? When you do fight? What

0:25:46.000 --> 0:25:46.640
<v Speaker 3>do you fight about?

0:25:46.680 --> 0:25:51.040
<v Speaker 5>Most? Oh? I have an answer, but go ahead. What

0:25:51.040 --> 0:25:54.280
<v Speaker 5>do you think? What do you fight about? Most? I

0:25:54.359 --> 0:25:59.240
<v Speaker 5>don't have an answer, Okay, I have an answer. Time.

0:26:00.240 --> 0:26:01.600
<v Speaker 6>Oh, I'm always running.

0:26:01.400 --> 0:26:08.360
<v Speaker 4>Late, like this morning, Like when we went on that cruise,

0:26:09.600 --> 0:26:15.240
<v Speaker 4>I said, listen, the boat leaves, the ship leaves at

0:26:15.520 --> 0:26:19.760
<v Speaker 4>one or two o'clock. Let's get there by eleven. We

0:26:19.800 --> 0:26:22.520
<v Speaker 4>got there five minutes to two. Don't get me started.

0:26:22.560 --> 0:26:24.040
<v Speaker 6>No, that's not true. We made it there.

0:26:24.160 --> 0:26:26.520
<v Speaker 5>Way all right. We got there by one o'clock.

0:26:26.560 --> 0:26:28.000
<v Speaker 6>I made you know.

0:26:28.119 --> 0:26:33.560
<v Speaker 4>I don't take those kinds of chances he's operating on.

0:26:33.920 --> 0:26:35.600
<v Speaker 5>Is there something resonating here with you?

0:26:35.760 --> 0:26:38.680
<v Speaker 1>Yes, we do that. But but dogs the guard deer

0:26:38.720 --> 0:26:42.040
<v Speaker 1>we have we had this issue. But I give her credit.

0:26:42.119 --> 0:26:45.480
<v Speaker 1>She is now completely on her own. She will start

0:26:45.560 --> 0:26:47.399
<v Speaker 1>because you know what, it's it's bitten there in the

0:26:47.400 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 1>butt a couple of times to where she ends up

0:26:49.320 --> 0:26:53.360
<v Speaker 1>panicked or stressed because maybe there's the first uber canceled,

0:26:53.440 --> 0:26:55.040
<v Speaker 1>or maybe there was a flat tire, maybe there was

0:26:55.080 --> 0:26:57.919
<v Speaker 1>traffic you didn't anticipate. So she is seen where the

0:26:58.000 --> 0:27:01.399
<v Speaker 1>value is in making sure you're always always early.

0:27:03.119 --> 0:27:06.719
<v Speaker 5>But isn't But isn't that the cosmic joke though? TJ.

0:27:07.600 --> 0:27:10.400
<v Speaker 5>People who look like you and I are.

0:27:10.280 --> 0:27:15.600
<v Speaker 4>Always labeled as folks not being on times. Look who

0:27:15.680 --> 0:27:18.720
<v Speaker 4>we're with, and they're the ones who are always late.

0:27:18.880 --> 0:27:19.840
<v Speaker 3>Yes, that's true.

0:27:20.160 --> 0:27:21.520
<v Speaker 1>They own white people times right.

0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:26.840
<v Speaker 2>They ain't even privileged people time exactly right.

0:27:28.080 --> 0:27:31.639
<v Speaker 1>I'll own that you could afford to be late. I

0:27:31.880 --> 0:27:33.040
<v Speaker 1>kind of show up early.

0:27:33.000 --> 0:27:35.320
<v Speaker 3>You know, so I also I see the value in it.

0:27:35.400 --> 0:27:38.080
<v Speaker 5>Right amber, if you call me a DEI higher.

0:27:41.840 --> 0:27:44.280
<v Speaker 3>All right, have you all? Do you all go to

0:27:44.320 --> 0:27:45.240
<v Speaker 3>bed angry?

0:27:47.640 --> 0:27:47.920
<v Speaker 5>Never?

0:27:48.160 --> 0:27:48.400
<v Speaker 7>No?

0:27:48.960 --> 0:27:49.200
<v Speaker 5>Never?

0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:50.520
<v Speaker 8>Wow?

0:27:50.640 --> 0:27:50.880
<v Speaker 5>Never?

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:53.960
<v Speaker 6>It's important I think to separate.

0:27:55.160 --> 0:27:57.520
<v Speaker 8>And I know you've heard of or read about like

0:27:57.600 --> 0:28:01.440
<v Speaker 8>certain energies. So and emotions are very powerful and strong things.

0:28:02.040 --> 0:28:04.639
<v Speaker 8>They make people do things that they otherwise wouldn't. So

0:28:05.400 --> 0:28:08.000
<v Speaker 8>if you are in the same room with someone and

0:28:08.040 --> 0:28:10.040
<v Speaker 8>you're arguing and you feel that energy, I think it's

0:28:10.040 --> 0:28:13.160
<v Speaker 8>important to separate until And that's one thing my mom

0:28:13.240 --> 0:28:15.399
<v Speaker 8>used to teach me, go into a different room and

0:28:15.440 --> 0:28:17.280
<v Speaker 8>take ten deep breaths.

0:28:17.040 --> 0:28:22.760
<v Speaker 5>And I disagree with that. Why I disagree with that.

0:28:23.119 --> 0:28:26.400
<v Speaker 4>I think it's really important to talk about it afterwards.

0:28:26.440 --> 0:28:30.080
<v Speaker 4>Then okay to talk about it, and then so for yeah,

0:28:30.280 --> 0:28:32.359
<v Speaker 4>so to talk about it before you go to bed,

0:28:32.520 --> 0:28:36.640
<v Speaker 4>or even say, let's agree to disagree, but out being

0:28:36.960 --> 0:28:40.320
<v Speaker 4>you know, together is important. But for some folks that

0:28:40.440 --> 0:28:44.560
<v Speaker 4>I know, I'm not mentioning any names. Sometimes I'm not

0:28:44.640 --> 0:28:50.600
<v Speaker 4>mentioning any names. Sometimes just having a couple of hours

0:28:51.000 --> 0:28:52.760
<v Speaker 4>apart works for them.

0:28:54.240 --> 0:28:56.240
<v Speaker 5>She doesn't know what I'm talking about.

0:28:56.760 --> 0:28:59.440
<v Speaker 1>We were trying to remember you told you gave us

0:28:59.440 --> 0:29:02.880
<v Speaker 1>a recommendation about going to bed angry, and we're getting

0:29:02.960 --> 0:29:07.000
<v Speaker 1>different reports from different couples about what they decide to do.

0:29:07.040 --> 0:29:09.560
<v Speaker 1>Some say, yeah, go to bed angry. It's okay, but

0:29:09.600 --> 0:29:11.480
<v Speaker 1>we could still kiss each other good night, but I'm

0:29:11.520 --> 0:29:13.959
<v Speaker 1>pissed at you. And then others say, no, there's too

0:29:14.000 --> 0:29:15.959
<v Speaker 1>much tension. We have to resolve this before we go

0:29:16.000 --> 0:29:16.720
<v Speaker 1>to bed, right.

0:29:16.840 --> 0:29:17.040
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:29:17.400 --> 0:29:20.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so it's not one size fits all. Yeah, but

0:29:20.560 --> 0:29:23.440
<v Speaker 4>I will tell you one thing. If I have had

0:29:23.760 --> 0:29:29.080
<v Speaker 4>on sentimental Sundays as of red wine, I have the filter.

0:29:29.680 --> 0:29:33.640
<v Speaker 4>I have the sensor up here that says, do not

0:29:34.200 --> 0:29:38.560
<v Speaker 4>bring up any conflict. Is that red wine makes for

0:29:38.600 --> 0:29:42.000
<v Speaker 4>a loose tongue. And then you say something and then

0:29:42.000 --> 0:29:43.600
<v Speaker 4>you're like, why did I say that?

0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:46.680
<v Speaker 1>Red wine? Yes, everything.

0:29:47.400 --> 0:29:50.000
<v Speaker 2>I think we've gotten better at the going to bed

0:29:50.240 --> 0:29:52.920
<v Speaker 2>angry thing. I feel like even if we haven't resolved it,

0:29:52.920 --> 0:29:55.760
<v Speaker 2>and certainly we have gone to bed several times without

0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:58.240
<v Speaker 2>having resolved it, but I still feel like like I

0:29:58.240 --> 0:30:00.240
<v Speaker 2>can hold your hand in bed, or I can you

0:30:00.280 --> 0:30:01.000
<v Speaker 2>know we can?

0:30:01.360 --> 0:30:02.320
<v Speaker 3>Yes, And it's.

0:30:02.200 --> 0:30:04.000
<v Speaker 5>Play a little foot seat or what, yeah, a.

0:30:03.920 --> 0:30:08.320
<v Speaker 3>Little something, just like hey, I'm still here. I'm not leaving, you.

0:30:08.280 --> 0:30:10.520
<v Speaker 1>Know, Yeah, and Jeff, we have to get over it

0:30:10.600 --> 0:30:12.720
<v Speaker 1>quick because we got to work together in the morning,

0:30:15.760 --> 0:30:16.040
<v Speaker 1>all right.

0:30:16.720 --> 0:30:21.040
<v Speaker 4>And you know, But and couples, it's healthy to have conflicts.

0:30:21.400 --> 0:30:23.360
<v Speaker 5>It's healthy, all right.

0:30:23.360 --> 0:30:25.240
<v Speaker 1>Next question here, and this is a practical one. A

0:30:25.240 --> 0:30:28.960
<v Speaker 1>lot of couples deal with how do you handle your finances?

0:30:29.080 --> 0:30:31.680
<v Speaker 1>Shared accounts, separate accounts? What do you all go with?

0:30:33.800 --> 0:30:38.600
<v Speaker 8>We have both personal and shared, Yeah, and multiples of

0:30:38.840 --> 0:30:45.440
<v Speaker 8>there's full there's there's full transparency. Yeah, he doesn't log

0:30:45.480 --> 0:30:47.000
<v Speaker 8>into mind because there's really nothing there.

0:30:47.840 --> 0:30:48.360
<v Speaker 6>That's okay.

0:30:48.560 --> 0:30:50.600
<v Speaker 8>Everything's in the joint so we can both get in

0:30:50.640 --> 0:30:51.840
<v Speaker 8>there and yeah, we.

0:30:51.960 --> 0:30:54.680
<v Speaker 4>We have no issues with that. And as well, same

0:30:54.680 --> 0:30:57.880
<v Speaker 4>thing with our cell phones. We share each other's pass pods,

0:30:58.200 --> 0:31:00.880
<v Speaker 4>but we don't go into each other's. And again, full

0:31:00.960 --> 0:31:03.560
<v Speaker 4>transparency in everything.

0:31:03.760 --> 0:31:06.120
<v Speaker 1>Do you all do the life life three sixty? Thing

0:31:06.160 --> 0:31:07.960
<v Speaker 1>where you all or something where you know where the

0:31:08.000 --> 0:31:09.760
<v Speaker 1>other one is all the time? You can track.

0:31:09.600 --> 0:31:13.360
<v Speaker 8>Them fause she knows where I am at all times.

0:31:13.400 --> 0:31:16.040
<v Speaker 5>I have no idea of where she does use the

0:31:16.120 --> 0:31:20.440
<v Speaker 5>app and I don't. It's amazing there.

0:31:22.400 --> 0:31:26.360
<v Speaker 2>And how do you all divide the household chores like cooking, cleaning,

0:31:27.080 --> 0:31:28.720
<v Speaker 2>to children, pets, et cetera.

0:31:30.240 --> 0:31:32.920
<v Speaker 4>I take care of all the pets. We have two.

0:31:33.120 --> 0:31:36.000
<v Speaker 4>We have two dogs, so that's my job, right.

0:31:36.120 --> 0:31:37.680
<v Speaker 6>But he doesn't brush their teeth.

0:31:37.720 --> 0:31:39.840
<v Speaker 4>I don't brush their teeth. She does that, and she

0:31:39.880 --> 0:31:43.840
<v Speaker 4>gives them medication. I take care of the outside. I

0:31:43.920 --> 0:31:47.080
<v Speaker 4>do all the heavy labor. I move the cars, takes

0:31:47.120 --> 0:31:50.600
<v Speaker 4>out the trash, take out the trash. I do the

0:31:50.640 --> 0:31:53.880
<v Speaker 4>dishes during the day, you know. But she does all

0:31:53.920 --> 0:31:58.560
<v Speaker 4>the vacuuming and laundry right. And cooking, even though I

0:31:58.640 --> 0:31:59.760
<v Speaker 4>love to, even though I.

0:31:59.720 --> 0:32:01.680
<v Speaker 6>Loved She's a much better cook than I have.

0:32:01.840 --> 0:32:03.960
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, I use I use spices.

0:32:04.160 --> 0:32:06.240
<v Speaker 4>When we first got together, I think I lost about

0:32:06.240 --> 0:32:07.640
<v Speaker 4>thirty pounds with her cooking.

0:32:09.320 --> 0:32:12.720
<v Speaker 8>She would cooking. I was like a bra vegan. She

0:32:12.760 --> 0:32:15.400
<v Speaker 8>would buy my sho She would.

0:32:15.240 --> 0:32:19.720
<v Speaker 4>Make salads with like with with with you know, unneeded

0:32:19.880 --> 0:32:25.840
<v Speaker 4>ingredients like like raisins and lots of the ballads.

0:32:26.800 --> 0:32:28.800
<v Speaker 3>Do you like to make cast roles? I like to

0:32:28.800 --> 0:32:29.840
<v Speaker 3>make cast roles.

0:32:30.520 --> 0:32:32.880
<v Speaker 8>Oh, cast roles are good. I need bigger casserole dishes.

0:32:32.920 --> 0:32:34.360
<v Speaker 8>I like them when they're nice and cheesy.

0:32:34.600 --> 0:32:36.920
<v Speaker 3>Yes, same, TJ does not, And.

0:32:36.920 --> 0:32:39.160
<v Speaker 8>You can prep them on Sunday and throw them in

0:32:39.200 --> 0:32:43.959
<v Speaker 8>on likeay.

0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:46.960
<v Speaker 4>So that's how that's how we divvy up stuff, and

0:32:47.000 --> 0:32:49.880
<v Speaker 4>we divvy up everything, and we take the initiative to

0:32:50.000 --> 0:32:50.960
<v Speaker 4>just do whatever we can.

0:32:51.280 --> 0:32:52.400
<v Speaker 5>So you're amazing.

0:32:52.920 --> 0:32:57.040
<v Speaker 4>She she will go into the house and just clean

0:32:57.120 --> 0:33:00.200
<v Speaker 4>out a whole basement. That's her, that's her thing, and

0:33:00.240 --> 0:33:03.280
<v Speaker 4>it will make it amazing. Hyper focused, hyper focus.

0:33:03.400 --> 0:33:06.640
<v Speaker 1>Let me confirm again, how is the laundry specifically handled?

0:33:06.640 --> 0:33:09.560
<v Speaker 1>Because couples give us different answers here, who handles the laundry?

0:33:10.480 --> 0:33:13.520
<v Speaker 6>I do it all. Yeah.

0:33:14.080 --> 0:33:17.160
<v Speaker 8>One time I asked Jeff quickly, honey, can you go

0:33:17.200 --> 0:33:22.040
<v Speaker 8>to the dryer, grab Nova's socks, throw them downstairs and

0:33:22.080 --> 0:33:23.040
<v Speaker 8>turn it back on.

0:33:23.920 --> 0:33:26.120
<v Speaker 6>And I think.

0:33:25.920 --> 0:33:29.600
<v Speaker 8>He paused, didn't know where the dryer was and nor

0:33:29.600 --> 0:33:30.880
<v Speaker 8>where the power button was.

0:33:31.240 --> 0:33:31.760
<v Speaker 5>That's true.

0:33:33.360 --> 0:33:37.080
<v Speaker 4>Wow, And I was like, I'm focused on there, I'm

0:33:37.120 --> 0:33:38.360
<v Speaker 4>focused on others.

0:33:40.640 --> 0:33:40.840
<v Speaker 8>There.

0:33:40.920 --> 0:33:42.280
<v Speaker 6>I haven't asked them to go in there.

0:33:42.360 --> 0:33:43.240
<v Speaker 3>And that's funny.

0:33:43.760 --> 0:33:43.840
<v Speaker 7>All.

0:33:44.560 --> 0:33:49.040
<v Speaker 1>Next question here, now, how much alone time or time

0:33:49.160 --> 0:33:51.520
<v Speaker 1>away from each other do you find you need.

0:33:54.680 --> 0:33:58.440
<v Speaker 6>Alone time? As you know, with young children, you don't

0:33:58.440 --> 0:33:59.520
<v Speaker 6>get any alone time.

0:34:00.680 --> 0:34:03.360
<v Speaker 8>However, I feel like, well, I'm alone when I'm at

0:34:03.400 --> 0:34:06.400
<v Speaker 8>work because I'm not with my children and my family

0:34:06.840 --> 0:34:10.319
<v Speaker 8>and with my patients. But that feels alone to me

0:34:10.400 --> 0:34:11.880
<v Speaker 8>sort of, if that makes sense, because I'm not.

0:34:12.520 --> 0:34:16.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but alone time I would assume from one another.

0:34:16.239 --> 0:34:16.920
<v Speaker 6>From one another.

0:34:17.200 --> 0:34:22.760
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'll answer that question if I may take. Okay,

0:34:23.280 --> 0:34:26.520
<v Speaker 4>I don't need any alone time. I love being with them.

0:34:26.600 --> 0:34:29.920
<v Speaker 4>I love being with all six of my children. You know,

0:34:30.000 --> 0:34:33.960
<v Speaker 4>that's my thing. I just absolutely love it. However, we

0:34:34.080 --> 0:34:37.640
<v Speaker 4>do get alone time when I travel, when I work

0:34:37.680 --> 0:34:38.320
<v Speaker 4>in the city.

0:34:38.880 --> 0:34:41.600
<v Speaker 5>You know, we are separated.

0:34:41.040 --> 0:34:44.080
<v Speaker 4>In that way, but then we're on the phone zooming

0:34:44.600 --> 0:34:47.400
<v Speaker 4>that whole time. But it does feel good. I have

0:34:47.440 --> 0:34:49.960
<v Speaker 4>to be honest with you, to be away from you

0:34:50.080 --> 0:34:53.640
<v Speaker 4>for a day or two because more than enough, because

0:34:53.680 --> 0:34:55.760
<v Speaker 4>I miss you, and then when I see you, it's great.

0:34:55.840 --> 0:34:58.280
<v Speaker 8>I miss the kids, and I honestly have trouble sleeping

0:34:58.320 --> 0:34:59.239
<v Speaker 8>when he's not next to me.

0:35:00.120 --> 0:35:02.279
<v Speaker 6>I'll put a pillow there and pretend it's him so

0:35:02.360 --> 0:35:03.320
<v Speaker 6>I can fall asleep.

0:35:03.680 --> 0:35:04.480
<v Speaker 3>That's really sweet.

0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:06.719
<v Speaker 5>Used to it, you think to yourself, except except the

0:35:06.760 --> 0:35:07.640
<v Speaker 5>pillow doesn't drew.

0:35:10.880 --> 0:35:13.880
<v Speaker 2>All right, I'm going to ask the therapist. Have the

0:35:13.960 --> 0:35:16.200
<v Speaker 2>two of you ever been to couple's therapy?

0:35:25.480 --> 0:35:30.080
<v Speaker 5>Did we do couples therapy once? Oh that was my

0:35:30.160 --> 0:35:35.880
<v Speaker 5>ex wife. No, it was my ex wife. Yeah.

0:35:35.880 --> 0:35:38.800
<v Speaker 4>No, we've never been to couple's therapy, though we've talked

0:35:38.800 --> 0:35:39.960
<v Speaker 4>about it a few times.

0:35:40.440 --> 0:35:43.320
<v Speaker 8>My cousin, God bless her, brought it up and she said,

0:35:43.480 --> 0:35:45.400
<v Speaker 8>but you should do it while things are good, and

0:35:45.480 --> 0:35:48.799
<v Speaker 8>be proactive and do it prophylactically. And I said to

0:35:48.840 --> 0:35:52.000
<v Speaker 8>my cousin, you are absolutely right. It's better to have

0:35:52.760 --> 0:35:55.959
<v Speaker 8>the foundation there in a relationship with the therapist.

0:35:55.680 --> 0:36:01.840
<v Speaker 6>That you like before it's needed. And I do believe

0:36:01.840 --> 0:36:02.120
<v Speaker 6>in that.

0:36:02.280 --> 0:36:03.640
<v Speaker 5>How do you guys feel about that?

0:36:04.440 --> 0:36:04.480
<v Speaker 7>We?

0:36:04.880 --> 0:36:07.000
<v Speaker 1>I think we're the same as what Amberger said. We

0:36:07.360 --> 0:36:09.360
<v Speaker 1>wanted to go. We've been wanting to go find a

0:36:09.440 --> 0:36:11.560
<v Speaker 1>therapist while we're in a good place and just go

0:36:11.640 --> 0:36:13.560
<v Speaker 1>talk out and have a good time and get a

0:36:13.600 --> 0:36:16.840
<v Speaker 1>referee in the room. And but Jeff, you you have

0:36:17.320 --> 0:36:19.959
<v Speaker 1>been that for us. I mean, really, that's we talked

0:36:19.960 --> 0:36:21.799
<v Speaker 1>some things out with you for everybody to hear. We

0:36:21.840 --> 0:36:23.480
<v Speaker 1>didn't mean for that to be the case, but that was.

0:36:23.840 --> 0:36:24.440
<v Speaker 1>We enjoyed that.

0:36:25.080 --> 0:36:28.280
<v Speaker 5>Uh yeah, I think it's a very healthy thing. I'm sorry, Amy,

0:36:28.360 --> 0:36:29.319
<v Speaker 5>Oh no, I think so too.

0:36:29.360 --> 0:36:33.320
<v Speaker 2>And this has been my longest relationship outside of a marriage,

0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:35.120
<v Speaker 2>and I think it's cool to work on it before

0:36:35.160 --> 0:36:37.400
<v Speaker 2>you take that next step, which is something I hadn't

0:36:37.400 --> 0:36:38.640
<v Speaker 2>done before.

0:36:38.680 --> 0:36:40.040
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, it's it's been good.

0:36:40.480 --> 0:36:44.040
<v Speaker 1>We're fans. Next question for you all here. Have you

0:36:44.200 --> 0:36:48.840
<v Speaker 1>ever threatened to break up, leave, or get divorced in

0:36:48.920 --> 0:36:50.120
<v Speaker 1>the middle of a heated argument?

0:36:53.480 --> 0:36:55.040
<v Speaker 5>Have you? No? No?

0:36:55.400 --> 0:36:58.360
<v Speaker 8>Well, and neither of I right, you use the words

0:36:58.440 --> 0:37:03.879
<v Speaker 8>I'm done, but you has picked it up. Our son

0:37:04.560 --> 0:37:06.759
<v Speaker 8>were like, I've done, I've done, and I'm like, I

0:37:06.800 --> 0:37:07.880
<v Speaker 8>don't really know what that means.

0:37:07.960 --> 0:37:10.960
<v Speaker 9>Like I think in the early I think, I think

0:37:11.000 --> 0:37:13.759
<v Speaker 9>in the earlier years, maybe in the first two or

0:37:13.800 --> 0:37:18.440
<v Speaker 9>three years, I might have said something like that, you know,

0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:20.360
<v Speaker 9>but out of frustration I didn't mean it.

0:37:20.400 --> 0:37:23.120
<v Speaker 4>But the advice I give folks, and we've already talked

0:37:23.120 --> 0:37:26.200
<v Speaker 4>about that, is to not throw that divorce word around

0:37:26.600 --> 0:37:29.439
<v Speaker 4>because many times it's an empty threat that can turn

0:37:29.480 --> 0:37:32.880
<v Speaker 4>into something that can be very lethal and hurtful.

0:37:32.920 --> 0:37:34.719
<v Speaker 5>So I don't think I've said anything like that.

0:37:34.840 --> 0:37:36.040
<v Speaker 3>Is done.

0:37:36.040 --> 0:37:36.759
<v Speaker 6>It upsets me.

0:37:36.960 --> 0:37:37.719
<v Speaker 5>Well, she has.

0:37:37.840 --> 0:37:42.640
<v Speaker 4>She has abandonment issues. Quite honestly, we're being true about that.

0:37:42.800 --> 0:37:44.880
<v Speaker 4>Her parents divorced very young.

0:37:46.440 --> 0:37:47.759
<v Speaker 6>Did much of the raise.

0:37:47.960 --> 0:37:51.319
<v Speaker 5>Her father raised all the children. That's why when she.

0:37:51.360 --> 0:37:56.120
<v Speaker 4>Met me and found out that I was raising four children,

0:37:56.520 --> 0:37:59.320
<v Speaker 4>you know, as a father, she said, hey.

0:37:59.200 --> 0:38:04.839
<v Speaker 5>Sexy, oh that's great. Be it ever so terrible? There's

0:38:04.920 --> 0:38:06.160
<v Speaker 5>no place like home?

0:38:08.400 --> 0:38:12.319
<v Speaker 1>Do do you have? Does Amber have an equivalent? Right?

0:38:12.400 --> 0:38:15.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean you said he'll say I'm done. But does

0:38:15.400 --> 0:38:17.520
<v Speaker 1>Amber say anything? Doctor Gard in the middle of a

0:38:17.520 --> 0:38:21.799
<v Speaker 1>heated argument that anything like that, she's got nothing. Well,

0:38:21.840 --> 0:38:25.480
<v Speaker 1>good for you, no, no, ye should talk groups.

0:38:30.480 --> 0:38:33.399
<v Speaker 3>So what is the sweetest thing your partner has done

0:38:33.440 --> 0:38:33.680
<v Speaker 3>for you?

0:38:36.440 --> 0:38:40.680
<v Speaker 6>He always brings me flowers, yes, and not just like

0:38:40.800 --> 0:38:42.200
<v Speaker 6>one bouquet, two or three.

0:38:42.560 --> 0:38:45.640
<v Speaker 8>Yes, And I'm like, okay, that's enough, that's enough, that's enough.

0:38:45.719 --> 0:38:48.800
<v Speaker 6>And then they just keep showing up, especially in the summer.

0:38:48.960 --> 0:38:53.200
<v Speaker 4>In the summer, every Saturday or Sunday, I bring her

0:38:53.239 --> 0:38:55.719
<v Speaker 4>red roses and then he.

0:38:55.800 --> 0:38:58.399
<v Speaker 8>Gives them to our sun to then get on one

0:38:58.440 --> 0:39:02.239
<v Speaker 8>knee and hand to me like he'll follow the directions.

0:39:01.680 --> 0:39:03.960
<v Speaker 6>And that's it's just so stinking cute. And I'm like,

0:39:04.040 --> 0:39:04.279
<v Speaker 6>thank you.

0:39:06.800 --> 0:39:07.240
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:39:07.440 --> 0:39:10.360
<v Speaker 4>And the most romantic thing that you've done for me

0:39:10.840 --> 0:39:16.399
<v Speaker 4>is been an incredible mother along with their mother as

0:39:16.440 --> 0:39:20.000
<v Speaker 4>far as raising my first four children and then giving

0:39:20.040 --> 0:39:23.640
<v Speaker 4>me two more children. I think that's the most romantic thing,

0:39:23.680 --> 0:39:24.480
<v Speaker 4>that's the most.

0:39:27.360 --> 0:39:31.919
<v Speaker 1>That is so do these guys, that is really guys.

0:39:32.000 --> 0:39:35.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm We'll say it. We'll talk about it plenty here

0:39:35.480 --> 0:39:37.120
<v Speaker 1>with all the interviews we're doing, but we have gotten

0:39:37.160 --> 0:39:39.640
<v Speaker 1>so much out of these interviews we're doing with couples.

0:39:39.840 --> 0:39:43.200
<v Speaker 1>Really for us who still fairly new and navigating a

0:39:43.200 --> 0:39:46.320
<v Speaker 1>lot of things, there's a lot of hope that comes

0:39:46.360 --> 0:39:48.600
<v Speaker 1>out of the conversation with you. All. This is we've

0:39:48.640 --> 0:39:50.760
<v Speaker 1>known you a long time doctor guard dear, but Amber,

0:39:50.760 --> 0:39:53.960
<v Speaker 1>you've I guess you've added to the package here in

0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:56.200
<v Speaker 1>a way we didn't. We didn't even realize it could

0:39:56.200 --> 0:39:57.120
<v Speaker 1>be improved this much.

0:39:57.200 --> 0:40:01.360
<v Speaker 5>But it's uh my secret weapon. A lot of people

0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:02.600
<v Speaker 5>don't know about her.

0:40:03.719 --> 0:40:05.960
<v Speaker 4>But you know, when you invited us, I think this

0:40:06.120 --> 0:40:10.440
<v Speaker 4>is the first one of the first interviews we've done together.

0:40:10.480 --> 0:40:12.879
<v Speaker 4>I think there are a few magazine articles way back

0:40:12.960 --> 0:40:16.239
<v Speaker 4>when that we did for some friends. But you know,

0:40:16.320 --> 0:40:19.400
<v Speaker 4>when you requested, of course, we said.

0:40:19.280 --> 0:40:21.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, we do appreciate that. We just have a

0:40:21.520 --> 0:40:24.120
<v Speaker 1>few more questions to get to here, and here is one.

0:40:24.400 --> 0:40:27.160
<v Speaker 1>What would you all say to couples, a couple that's

0:40:27.200 --> 0:40:30.520
<v Speaker 1>considering marriage, what is it that you would take the

0:40:30.520 --> 0:40:34.239
<v Speaker 1>opportunity to tell them to make sure you consider this,

0:40:34.400 --> 0:40:36.840
<v Speaker 1>you think about this, or even maybe you something you

0:40:36.840 --> 0:40:40.400
<v Speaker 1>want to warn them about. A couple considering going down

0:40:40.440 --> 0:40:42.480
<v Speaker 1>the aisle, what is it you would want to tell

0:40:42.520 --> 0:40:43.000
<v Speaker 1>them first?

0:40:45.520 --> 0:40:51.120
<v Speaker 8>I would say, take note that it doesn't change much

0:40:51.160 --> 0:40:54.720
<v Speaker 8>in your relationship. It's not a magic on off button.

0:40:55.320 --> 0:40:58.879
<v Speaker 8>There's nothing digital about marriage. It's it's all analog. It's

0:40:58.960 --> 0:41:02.719
<v Speaker 8>it's this, it's from point A to point B, and

0:41:03.040 --> 0:41:08.840
<v Speaker 8>it's it's a constant journey. And so the actual marriage

0:41:08.960 --> 0:41:12.160
<v Speaker 8>doesn't change your relationship if you ask me in your head,

0:41:12.160 --> 0:41:15.359
<v Speaker 8>if it does, that's great. However, it takes two to

0:41:15.400 --> 0:41:21.239
<v Speaker 8>tango and it's a journey and nothing. Really the change

0:41:21.320 --> 0:41:24.480
<v Speaker 8>is constant, right, that's the only constant. Growth is optional,

0:41:25.600 --> 0:41:27.640
<v Speaker 8>So the growth part is important.

0:41:28.719 --> 0:41:35.439
<v Speaker 5>I would say the first thing is prenup be don't

0:41:35.440 --> 0:41:37.200
<v Speaker 5>believe it or not. We don't have a pre nup.

0:41:39.480 --> 0:41:42.480
<v Speaker 4>So I'm just joking on that, but the lawyers would

0:41:42.560 --> 0:41:47.960
<v Speaker 4>probably say, no, that's really good advice. I would say friendship.

0:41:48.360 --> 0:41:53.160
<v Speaker 4>Have a friendship first. Let that be the foundation. Of

0:41:53.200 --> 0:41:59.480
<v Speaker 4>the relationship, even if it's you know, a very physical attraction.

0:42:00.200 --> 0:42:03.120
<v Speaker 4>But make sure that the friendship is in place and

0:42:03.320 --> 0:42:07.960
<v Speaker 4>stays in place throughout the marriage. And of course transparency

0:42:08.640 --> 0:42:13.359
<v Speaker 4>and you know, whatever you expect from your partner, make

0:42:13.440 --> 0:42:16.680
<v Speaker 4>sure that you are ready to deliver the same thing.

0:42:17.000 --> 0:42:19.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, people thinking about what they're getting, not what they

0:42:20.239 --> 0:42:21.040
<v Speaker 2>need to be giving.

0:42:21.239 --> 0:42:22.920
<v Speaker 3>That's very important. I like that.

0:42:23.440 --> 0:42:27.600
<v Speaker 2>So everyone describes the honeymoon phase of a relationship, and

0:42:27.640 --> 0:42:30.000
<v Speaker 2>then you hear these very non romantic things like and

0:42:30.000 --> 0:42:33.520
<v Speaker 2>then love is a decision, But how do you keep

0:42:33.560 --> 0:42:36.600
<v Speaker 2>the romance alive after so many years?

0:42:39.400 --> 0:42:44.279
<v Speaker 8>I feel like I just met my soulmate, and I

0:42:44.320 --> 0:42:46.680
<v Speaker 8>cannot believe that it's already been more than a decade

0:42:46.840 --> 0:42:49.920
<v Speaker 8>that I've been with this amazing person.

0:42:50.400 --> 0:42:51.799
<v Speaker 6>So truth be told.

0:42:51.840 --> 0:42:56.360
<v Speaker 8>For me, it's very easy that I look back and

0:42:56.400 --> 0:42:59.680
<v Speaker 8>I think, like, I'm still enjoying my time.

0:43:00.040 --> 0:43:01.360
<v Speaker 6>It's Jeff, and I'm still.

0:43:01.120 --> 0:43:04.960
<v Speaker 8>Getting to know him, and so it's not that hard

0:43:05.000 --> 0:43:08.160
<v Speaker 8>on my end, because I truly do believe in soulmates.

0:43:08.200 --> 0:43:08.839
<v Speaker 6>I believe in that.

0:43:08.960 --> 0:43:12.480
<v Speaker 8>I believe in they say the light between us.

0:43:12.719 --> 0:43:14.920
<v Speaker 6>We spoke about it when we were saying.

0:43:14.680 --> 0:43:18.959
<v Speaker 8>Our vowels that we're energies that are moving around each other,

0:43:19.120 --> 0:43:22.560
<v Speaker 8>and when you meet that right energy, it just works.

0:43:23.880 --> 0:43:28.560
<v Speaker 4>I would say, as we said earlier, make it, you know,

0:43:28.960 --> 0:43:31.799
<v Speaker 4>put it on the checklist as to the things that

0:43:31.840 --> 0:43:34.080
<v Speaker 4>you need to do to stay in love.

0:43:34.040 --> 0:43:36.840
<v Speaker 5>And stay romantic. I think that's really important.

0:43:37.040 --> 0:43:39.759
<v Speaker 4>The other thing that I think that really worked for us,

0:43:39.840 --> 0:43:41.920
<v Speaker 4>as I know that it's worked for the two of you,

0:43:42.840 --> 0:43:46.520
<v Speaker 4>is that we work out all the time, and so

0:43:46.760 --> 0:43:51.840
<v Speaker 4>it's important for us to stay healthy for ourselves, but

0:43:52.040 --> 0:43:55.000
<v Speaker 4>for one another to be present, to be able to

0:43:55.080 --> 0:43:59.440
<v Speaker 4>work through whatever medical issues may be, to support one

0:43:59.480 --> 0:44:04.960
<v Speaker 4>another in that way. But you know, staying physically and

0:44:05.080 --> 0:44:09.080
<v Speaker 4>spiritually healthy I think really does help in a romance

0:44:09.120 --> 0:44:10.200
<v Speaker 4>of a relationship.

0:44:10.800 --> 0:44:14.160
<v Speaker 2>I love that, and I love that the two of

0:44:14.200 --> 0:44:17.120
<v Speaker 2>you were willing to sit down and talk with us

0:44:17.280 --> 0:44:20.160
<v Speaker 2>and so we can learn more about I just I

0:44:20.200 --> 0:44:24.480
<v Speaker 2>have been so fascinated by how everybody who we've talked to.

0:44:24.440 --> 0:44:27.840
<v Speaker 3>Who are all happy, have figured out how to be happy.

0:44:27.880 --> 0:44:31.400
<v Speaker 2>But I you know, look, you guys are black, white, Jewish,

0:44:31.600 --> 0:44:35.280
<v Speaker 2>non Jewish. You know, a twenty seven year age difference.

0:44:35.320 --> 0:44:38.360
<v Speaker 2>You had everything working against you, and yet look at you.

0:44:38.440 --> 0:44:39.759
<v Speaker 5>That's right, that's right.

0:44:39.960 --> 0:44:40.640
<v Speaker 6>It was tough.

0:44:41.160 --> 0:44:44.520
<v Speaker 4>The greatest love story never told.

0:44:44.719 --> 0:44:46.440
<v Speaker 5>Yes, right now it's being.

0:44:46.239 --> 0:44:50.359
<v Speaker 3>Told, and it's going to end a lot better than

0:44:50.440 --> 0:44:50.680
<v Speaker 3>j LO.

0:44:50.920 --> 0:44:54.440
<v Speaker 1>And I'm still.

0:44:53.480 --> 0:44:55.240
<v Speaker 3>Okay, they could still reconcile, right.

0:44:55.760 --> 0:44:57.600
<v Speaker 5>Well, I'm hoping for them.

0:44:57.760 --> 0:45:02.520
<v Speaker 1>Actually, to me, I am genuine hoping for those two still.

0:45:02.760 --> 0:45:05.359
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, because they had that friendship thing. I know.

0:45:05.560 --> 0:45:10.080
<v Speaker 2>I know, well doctor Jeff Gardier, doctor Amber Brodie who's

0:45:10.120 --> 0:45:12.240
<v Speaker 2>soon to become doctor Amber Guardier.

0:45:13.760 --> 0:45:16.920
<v Speaker 5>Yes, that is the one contention that we have.

0:45:17.040 --> 0:45:19.400
<v Speaker 4>I think it's taken way too long for her to

0:45:19.480 --> 0:45:23.239
<v Speaker 4>do that, right, that is the one conflict that we've had.

0:45:23.440 --> 0:45:25.879
<v Speaker 4>Like I give you that that stink face when you say, oh,

0:45:25.920 --> 0:45:26.279
<v Speaker 4>I'll do it.

0:45:26.320 --> 0:45:26.680
<v Speaker 5>I'm like.

0:45:29.160 --> 0:45:32.479
<v Speaker 6>So busy with patients. There's like this much time.

0:45:32.560 --> 0:45:34.560
<v Speaker 8>You have to go to the Social Security Office, right,

0:45:34.600 --> 0:45:37.040
<v Speaker 8>go to the DMV. I have to change three DA.

0:45:37.000 --> 0:45:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Licenses three doctor guardian three.

0:45:39.680 --> 0:45:42.400
<v Speaker 6>That's a lot EA licenses.

0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:45.440
<v Speaker 8>Like that's like you know the Drug Enforcement Agency of

0:45:45.440 --> 0:45:46.400
<v Speaker 8>the United States.

0:45:46.120 --> 0:45:48.319
<v Speaker 4>Well, you better do it, you better do it while

0:45:48.360 --> 0:45:53.440
<v Speaker 4>we still have a drug enforcement We're not going to

0:45:53.440 --> 0:45:56.920
<v Speaker 4>get into politics here, but you know what I'm talking.

0:45:56.719 --> 0:45:59.200
<v Speaker 1>You know what this wasn't on the list, but I'm

0:45:59.280 --> 0:46:02.080
<v Speaker 1>curious about that. How important do you all think it

0:46:02.120 --> 0:46:06.160
<v Speaker 1>is a woman that changes her last name once they

0:46:06.200 --> 0:46:09.879
<v Speaker 1>get married. Robock has a look on her face right now.

0:46:09.960 --> 0:46:12.080
<v Speaker 2>I've been married twice and I've never changed my last name.

0:46:12.120 --> 0:46:14.280
<v Speaker 2>It certainly worked out well for me in that sense.

0:46:16.000 --> 0:46:18.440
<v Speaker 2>Stand in any lines ever, that would have been annoying.

0:46:19.000 --> 0:46:22.240
<v Speaker 5>So I think it's I think it's up to the couple,

0:46:24.080 --> 0:46:25.120
<v Speaker 5>but you feeling.

0:46:25.480 --> 0:46:27.319
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think one of the things that you were

0:46:27.360 --> 0:46:29.160
<v Speaker 4>talking about was actually hyphenating.

0:46:29.280 --> 0:46:31.440
<v Speaker 5>Right for Brody, guard.

0:46:31.719 --> 0:46:35.600
<v Speaker 8>Take my middle name, which I'm sorry, my last name,

0:46:35.600 --> 0:46:38.600
<v Speaker 8>which happens to be used as a first and middle

0:46:38.640 --> 0:46:41.520
<v Speaker 8>name anyway, Brody, we all know many Brody's. Throw it

0:46:41.560 --> 0:46:45.160
<v Speaker 8>in the middle, that's easy, and then put Guardier at

0:46:45.160 --> 0:46:45.440
<v Speaker 8>the end.

0:46:45.680 --> 0:46:48.520
<v Speaker 4>Right. Brady never asked her to do it, but it's

0:46:48.520 --> 0:46:50.680
<v Speaker 4>something that she said she would do. And because she

0:46:50.719 --> 0:46:53.360
<v Speaker 4>said she would do it, then I would if you

0:46:53.520 --> 0:46:57.600
<v Speaker 4>insisted on keeping the last name Brody, I wouldn't have

0:46:57.600 --> 0:47:00.000
<v Speaker 4>a problem with that. But Guardier sounds a whole lot nice.

0:47:00.080 --> 0:47:02.319
<v Speaker 6>So don't you think it's a fully French name.

0:47:02.480 --> 0:47:05.880
<v Speaker 4>Well, there you go, and it's a Haitian name, and

0:47:05.960 --> 0:47:07.800
<v Speaker 4>we need you in the Haitian core.

0:47:08.840 --> 0:47:11.160
<v Speaker 1>It would be weird though, to doctor Guardian all the

0:47:11.239 --> 0:47:14.080
<v Speaker 1>doctor Guardia in my head is bald and has glasses.

0:47:14.120 --> 0:47:17.040
<v Speaker 1>I can't imagine picture.

0:47:17.400 --> 0:47:19.680
<v Speaker 3>Just Brody Guardier, Brody gard Okay, there you go.

0:47:19.719 --> 0:47:22.040
<v Speaker 1>All right, guys, really, it is so good to see

0:47:22.080 --> 0:47:24.960
<v Speaker 1>you all's faces, and we hope to see y'all in

0:47:25.000 --> 0:47:27.120
<v Speaker 1>here in studio possibly, but certainly when you all learn

0:47:27.160 --> 0:47:32.759
<v Speaker 1>the city. Let us know. Doctor Guardier, doctor Brody, thank

0:47:32.800 --> 0:47:34.560
<v Speaker 1>you all so so much for this all.

0:47:34.520 --> 0:47:37.680
<v Speaker 4>Right, great to see you both, Amy and TJ.

0:47:37.840 --> 0:47:39.080
<v Speaker 5>Thank you, I thank you