1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. In this episode, our Love Stories series 2 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:11,399 Speaker 1: continues and up next doctor Jeff Gardier, doctor Amber Brody. 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:17,160 Speaker 1: He's black, she's white, she's Jewish, he's not. They're twenty 4 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: seven years at bard in age and they are newlyweds. 5 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 1: Welcome everybody to this special Cuffing season edition of Amy 6 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: and Tjay and wrote to anybody who's familiar with our 7 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:32,600 Speaker 1: podcast over the past year knows doctor Guardier and knows 8 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: that we adored as dude. 9 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 2: We do, and we have leaned on him for more 10 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 2: than a decade now, but especially in the last couple 11 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 2: of years. He is known as America's psychologist. He talks 12 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 2: us through the tough times in this world, but also 13 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 2: talks about relationships. He is a relationship expert. In fact, 14 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 2: it's funny because any of you who might have a 15 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 2: therapist or someone who you lean on for advice, you 16 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 2: almost sometimes feel like you can't ask them about their 17 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 2: life or about what their relationship is like. So I 18 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 2: actually really didn't know that much about doctor Gardier's personal life, 19 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 2: and we've known his due twenty years. 20 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,320 Speaker 1: I mean, just going back to our days and cable news, 21 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 1: you've been interviewing this guy for a long long time. 22 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: Was not that familiar with his personal life. No, he 23 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: used to talk about it, his wife and this and that. 24 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 1: We hear this all the time who he's with, but 25 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: we never put it all together. 26 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 2: We knew he was divorced, and we knew he was 27 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,199 Speaker 2: with someone else, but other than that, we never really 28 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 2: pride or leaned in on that because we just didn't 29 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 2: feel We felt like there was a boundary, okay, healthy boundary. 30 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,679 Speaker 1: We got to lean in recently because we went to 31 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 1: his wedding. 32 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 2: Yes, we got the invitation. We thought, well, this is 33 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 2: an invitation to more than just a wedding. We can 34 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 2: start asking questions. 35 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: So we did, and you know what we found out. 36 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: We found out that there is nearly a three decade 37 00:01:55,120 --> 00:02:00,080 Speaker 1: age difference between doctor Gardier and his wife, and they 38 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: love talking about it. It seems they love giving each 39 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: other hell about it. They love even at the wedding, 40 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,359 Speaker 1: it was a part of the vows, even the ceremony. 41 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: They cracked little jokes about it. 42 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 2: So I didn't know what to expect going to the 43 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 2: wedding or even meeting his better half. 44 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 3: I think he would say that for sure, they're both doctors. 45 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 3: Doctor Jeff Gardier, doctor Amber Brodie. She's a physician. 46 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: Of course we mentioned he's America psychologist, but yeah, she's 47 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 2: twenty seven years younger than him. And this wedding was 48 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 2: incredible what it brought together and their level of comfort. Look, 49 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 2: these two have been together for more than a decade, 50 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 2: they have two children together, and they just recently, as 51 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 2: we pointed out, decided to actually make it official and 52 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 2: get married. So we wanted to ask them all the 53 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 2: questions that one would have about anyone, but specifically their situation. 54 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, so we ask them, as we've been doing in 55 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: our series, the exact same list of questions that we've 56 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: asked all of our couples, and their answers were fascinating, 57 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: same questions, how often do you fight, you go to 58 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: bed angry? Who handles the household chores? But the questions 59 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 1: got interesting when it turned to age, when it turned 60 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: to certain things that it turned to family accepting a relationship, 61 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: things got a little interesting. 62 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 2: They certainly did, and I have to say surprising I 63 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 2: And you know, I always think it's interesting when you're 64 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:37,559 Speaker 2: asking a doctor who counsels other people on their relationships 65 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 2: about his own relationship, and no matter what he says, Oh, 66 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 2: you've got Wifey right there to tell him that's not 67 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 2: exactly what happened. We saw that happen quite a bit. 68 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,119 Speaker 2: It was amazing. I mean think about it. If you've 69 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 2: ever been in any therapy, can you imagine turning the 70 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 2: tables on your therapist. That's exactly what we got to 71 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 2: do in this episode. 72 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, the folks, we can tell 73 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: you this is is one of our favorites and one 74 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: of the most enjoyable, and I think you're going to 75 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: find it to be as well. In this entire series 76 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: we've been doing. Again, reminded we drop a new one 77 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: every day of the week leading up to Valentine's Day 78 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,359 Speaker 1: and today, enjoy it because we got a treat for you. 79 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: Doctor Jeff Guardier and doctor Amber Brody. Take a listen 80 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:20,839 Speaker 1: to our conversation. 81 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 2: And we have the doctors with us right now, Doctor 82 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 2: Jeff Guardier and his beautiful bride, doctor Amber Brody. 83 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 3: Thank you for being with us, guys. 84 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 4: Thank you, thanks for having us. Great to be on 85 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 4: with both of you. 86 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, and well we should apologize to Amber. We've had 87 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: doctor Guardia on several times. We didn't extend an invitation 88 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,280 Speaker 1: to the amber until now that's our bad. That's our bad. 89 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 3: Isn't it fun though? 90 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 2: To be able to turn the tables and ask the 91 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 2: therapist questions about his relationship. I've really been looking forward 92 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 2: to this one. Guys. 93 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 5: That's why my hands are shaving. 94 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 2: Well, we'll dig right in. So the first question is 95 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 2: the one that we ask everyone to start off with. 96 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 3: And I love this both of you. 97 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 2: If you would give us three words to describe your 98 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,560 Speaker 2: relationship right now, Jeff will start with. 99 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 5: You, Friendship, loving, passion. 100 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 6: Those are good ones. Can I say? 101 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 5: You could say anything you want? 102 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 7: You can even gold, fabulous, envious, a nice and. 103 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 1: Kind and kind. Now I have to say this first 104 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: time we've heard envious of them? Now, why did you 105 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: pick that one? I'm curious envious? Where did they come? 106 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 6: Envy of everyone? 107 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: That's awesome? 108 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 5: Envious? 109 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 8: I don't know when I feel that. When we're with 110 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 8: other couples, I feel that we're very lucky. 111 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 5: That yeah, but they're not'm envious. 112 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 4: They may be questioning, like, what the hell is he 113 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 4: dealing with her? 114 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 5: Vice versa? 115 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: Those these are her words, these are her words. Let'm 116 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: have a word. 117 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,039 Speaker 3: She's pinching his cheek right now. It's great. 118 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 8: I'm old to stop saying old, by the way, relative really, 119 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 8: and most of the people I spend my days with 120 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 8: are you know, between eighty and one hundred. So every 121 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 8: time I come home Monday through Friday, there's this young, 122 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 8: dapper gentleman. 123 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 5: And I'm only ten years younger than that. 124 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: That is awesome. Okay, we're going to get into it 125 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: because that questions on here as well. But the next question, 126 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: I'll start with you on this one, Amber. Was there 127 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,239 Speaker 1: immediate chemistry when you two first met? 128 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 6: Now, well, and I think that's a good thing. 129 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 8: I think that you know, when flames burned too hot, 130 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,600 Speaker 8: they tend to burn out. 131 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 5: As at the beginning. Yeah, so at the beginning, the. 132 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 8: Fact that we had a nice concrete base and foundation 133 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 8: of a friendship to work with. 134 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 6: When suddenly there was a flame, it was it was. 135 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 5: And it wasn't my flame. 136 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 4: It was her flame, right, it was her flame, not 137 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 4: my flame. 138 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 6: It was easy. 139 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 4: There was there was no attraction, there was nothing going on. 140 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 4: We were nothing but colleagues, and then from colleagues we 141 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 4: became friends. 142 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 3: Wow, that sounds really familiar. We were also on the 143 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 3: slop story. 144 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 2: Yes, so who ultimately ended up saying I love you first? 145 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 6: That was me, yes, and it must have been that. 146 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 6: I don't know. I've heard the term and I've mentioned 147 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 6: it to our rabbi as well. 148 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 8: Godsmack where you're just going about your business and all 149 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 8: of a sudden you're. 150 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 6: Just like, oh God, I love him? 151 00:07:59,080 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 5: What do I do? 152 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 6: Like that really actually happened? 153 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 1: Oh wow, I. 154 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 3: Am so relating with you. I felt the same way. 155 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 3: You're like, wait a minute, when did this happen? How 156 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 3: did this happen? But it's definitely happening. 157 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 5: Didn't I do. 158 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 4: That therapy session with you guys on your podcast? 159 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 5: Right? 160 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: We don't want to call it a therapy session. We 161 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: had you as a guest. 162 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 3: Okay, it turned into a therapy We talked. 163 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: Some things out, all right. Next question here, how long 164 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: did you date before you got engaged? How long were 165 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: you engaged before you got married? 166 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 5: Okay? 167 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 4: We dated for a very short period of time, right, 168 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,960 Speaker 4: and we were friends first for how many colleagues and 169 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 4: friends for about what three years? 170 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 6: He says for years, but I think it was six months. 171 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: Now, that's a big discrepancy, guys. 172 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 8: What Well, if you look at our daughter who was 173 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 8: born at a particular time. 174 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 5: When did we start working at the medical school. 175 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 8: It's great ither I came there in twenty thirteen. Yeah, 176 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 8: we were like we saw each other like for a 177 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 8: half of a semester in the spring. 178 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 5: Semester, so we knew each other. 179 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,719 Speaker 6: We all like of each other. And then someone made us. 180 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,679 Speaker 4: Work on it for a couple of years and then 181 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 4: we started teaching together. 182 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 8: I started working there July of twenty thirteen. I moved 183 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 8: from my hometown of Philly, Go Eagles to New York. 184 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 8: And our daughter was born March of fifteen. Okay, so 185 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 8: there's no couple of years there, all. 186 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:34,679 Speaker 4: Right, So this is confusing. So what happened was we 187 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 4: worked together at the medical school. 188 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 5: We knew of one another for maybe two three years 189 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 5: you were. 190 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 6: There, No, three years later Noble was born. 191 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,479 Speaker 5: Okay, so you were there for some period of time. 192 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 6: Not long. I started there in twenty thirteen. 193 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 8: So anyway, we had to work on a lecture and 194 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,559 Speaker 8: then I fell in love with him, and then. 195 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 5: We was it was bringing me lunch. 196 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,319 Speaker 4: It was bringing me lunch, and all the secretary usual 197 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 4: laughing because they were like, you don't know what's going on. 198 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,199 Speaker 5: And I was like I have no idea of what's 199 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 5: going on. Okay, this is. 200 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 4: A colleague, you know, I'm not getting involved with the colleague. 201 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:16,559 Speaker 4: And I was actually helping Jay dates Jewish days. 202 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 5: I was her going on dates and we. 203 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,680 Speaker 8: Work on our lectures together and our powerpoints and be like, 204 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 8: let's go get a beer, okay. 205 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 6: And then I was showing him how to use Tinder 206 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 6: the apps wipe lefts wipe right, and he goes to me, 207 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:33,840 Speaker 6: I can't put. 208 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 8: My face on there, and I'm going, what's wrong with 209 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 8: your face? I didn't know who he was. 210 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 6: He was just you know, a. 211 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 5: Lot of people don't know who I am. 212 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 4: So anyway, long stories, because we know we're eating up 213 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:57,680 Speaker 4: valuable time. 214 00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 1: This is great stuff. 215 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 4: I love it. She invited me after I went through 216 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 4: you know, Jay dates with her, you know, helping her 217 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 4: pick her. 218 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 5: Dates, and saw me, your date, How was your date 219 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 5: last night? How was it? 220 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 4: And then so one day she said, meet me at 221 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,839 Speaker 4: this restaurant in Harlem because we used to have Martini's 222 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 4: and clams dare oysters, you know, just as colleagues to discuss, 223 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,719 Speaker 4: you know, the lectures. And then she said, I think 224 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 4: we should be together forever. That was the pitch. That 225 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 4: was the proposal. I said, absolutely. 226 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,559 Speaker 5: Not, you're too young. I'm not gonna do it. Instead, 227 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,400 Speaker 5: I'll give you more children. 228 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 4: And then she said I'll change your diapers because I'm 229 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 4: a jenius when the time comes. 230 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,119 Speaker 5: And I said, okay, only. 231 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,439 Speaker 6: The first that was true. 232 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 3: What what did he say, Amberwyn? You said that to him? 233 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 8: He was pretty silent, but put his hand on my 234 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 8: leg and said okay. 235 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 3: And that was that wow, And I. 236 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 4: Said, okay, what am I doing for the next twenty years? 237 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 5: All right? Fine? 238 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 4: Just like that, I stepped out on faith Amy and TJ. 239 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 4: I was like, okay, we're friends, we know one another. 240 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 4: She seems to be a very nice person, you know, 241 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 4: why not? And it worked out really well because I 242 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 4: had four children. She immediately fell into the group. 243 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 5: You know. 244 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,960 Speaker 4: They got along except for one child who was like but. 245 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 6: She screamed for like an hour. 246 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 4: Well because she's closer to your age, right, and so 247 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 4: after that was settled. But she's been an incredible mother 248 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 4: along with their mother, who is an incredible mother and team. 249 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 4: And then we had two more and that's how we're together. 250 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,679 Speaker 4: And we've been together now. We lived in sin for 251 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 4: ten years and then we finally officially got married. Where 252 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 4: you guys, we we could tell folks you were there, yes, 253 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 4: at our wedding. It was the first Jewish wedding in 254 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 4: the Malcolm x Betty Shabbaz Center in the Muslim Center, 255 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:10,839 Speaker 4: so we're proud of that. 256 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,319 Speaker 2: It was the most well, it was beautiful and it 257 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 2: was incredible, but it was definitely because of what you 258 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 2: just mentioned, one of the most unique weddings I've ever 259 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 2: been to in my life. To see all the different 260 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 2: and how cool is that all the different religions and 261 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 2: backgrounds and ages all coming together to celebrate your love. 262 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 4: It was absolutely race, religion, political affiliations. Nice mix there, Yeah, 263 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,199 Speaker 4: it was a very nice, nice mix. But we had 264 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 4: we had Democrats Republicans. 265 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 3: Oh man, you were the tie that binded them all. 266 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 5: Together, Republicans. That's why we didn't talk about politics. 267 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 3: All Right, we've alluded. We've alluded to it quite a bit. 268 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 2: But go ahead and tell us what is your age 269 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,719 Speaker 2: difference and has that had an impact on your relationship? 270 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 8: We are twenty seven years in a separation. We always 271 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 8: laugh that he got his PhD the year I was born, 272 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 8: If that puts any perspective on it. That's quite impressive. 273 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:15,199 Speaker 8: Like you were a doctor. I was in diapers. 274 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 4: You know, I think the important thing here, you know, 275 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 4: and I point this out to a lot of folks. 276 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 4: You know, this was not a vanity project. It's not 277 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 4: about looking for someone, you know, as an older person, 278 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 4: younger than myself. It just, you know, everything just fell 279 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 4: in place in that way. I would have preferred to 280 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 4: be with someone of my own age, but you know, 281 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 4: she's very mature, so it worked out. 282 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 1: And we should say you all fully embrace and have 283 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 1: fun with and even you Amber at the wedding where 284 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 1: you also were making jokes up there at the altar 285 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 1: were as you were getting married, so you. 286 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 6: All not laugh and you'd be crying, right, honey, that's 287 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 6: what he says. 288 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I mean we you know, we talk about, 289 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 4: you know, our first date. It was the three of 290 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 4: us and it were like, what do you mean the 291 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,920 Speaker 4: three of us? It was me, you and my walker. 292 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 1: You're holding yourself, doctor GUARDI are you're a good looking 293 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: I am you're not good looking for your age. You're 294 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: good looking, okay. 295 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 4: Person, I've said her, if you're going to put me 296 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 4: in a nursing home later on, because you're a geriatrician. 297 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:25,000 Speaker 4: I'm getting a girlfriend in that nursing home, I said, 298 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 4: because I'm walking in there. And if you walk into 299 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 4: a nursing home at a certain age, you know what 300 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 4: they say. 301 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 1: Hey, sexy, I thought you're going to say you ain't 302 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: walking out, so I will say. 303 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 6: You did ask. The second part of that question was 304 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 6: on the relationship. 305 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 8: The I only kind of just notice the difference, like 306 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 8: he'll talk about something that happened in the past, and 307 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 8: I will have zero recollection because it happened before I 308 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 8: was born. 309 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 4: So I'm as far as music and culture and so on. Yeah, 310 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 4: she had no idea who Topo GJ was. For example, 311 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 4: remember that Sullivan to GJ. 312 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: Okay, you got me even at Sullivan. 313 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 5: Well, I'm much older than you guys. 314 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 6: Do you guys have an age gap as well? 315 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 2: Right, yes, I'm four and a half years older than TEJ. 316 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: Four and a half? What is she twelve? Who uses age? 317 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 5: That's not an age gap? 318 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 1: But Amber too, You got me be because I used 319 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: this line all the time I was in junior high 320 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 1: school when she was in college. 321 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 2: You know what the see But no, but he's saying 322 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 2: ninth grade and I was a freshman in college. Ninth 323 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 2: grade was high school where I went to school. So 324 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 2: he likes to be dramatic and say it was junior high. 325 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 1: Again, a factual statement. I was in junior high school 326 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 1: when she was in college, and we'll leave it to there. 327 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 3: And then I just say, lucky you, lovey. 328 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 5: You, TJ, lucky you. That's right. 329 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 2: So why did you guys want to get married? You 330 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 2: had been together for ten years. Why was it important 331 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 2: to be married? And what do you think your relationship 332 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 2: would be like if you just chose to stay together 333 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 2: but be unmarried, Like why was the ring important? 334 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 5: I don't even know that was your decision to get married. 335 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,959 Speaker 8: I figure if there was a zombie apocalypse tomorrow and 336 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 8: I never got. 337 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 6: To be a bride, that would be a damn shape. 338 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 8: I've spent my whole life, you know, I think honestly, 339 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 8: if you recall that movie twenty seven Dresses, that was me, 340 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 8: you know, going through college, then med school, then residency 341 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 8: and fellowship. 342 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:42,400 Speaker 6: I did not graduate from my. 343 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 8: Training till thirty one, so there was no serious relationships 344 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,359 Speaker 8: and I was the perpetual bridesmaid. 345 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 3: That makes sense. 346 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,640 Speaker 6: I also do recall that. 347 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 8: Sex in the City line that Miranda gave when she 348 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 8: was about to marry Steve, and she said, I think 349 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,879 Speaker 8: it's important to stand there in front of the people 350 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 8: you love and say those words. 351 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 4: And that she's not giving you guys any advice, by. 352 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,400 Speaker 3: The way, you know, I like that though. 353 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 1: It's very good. That's one of the better arguments I've heard. 354 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 8: Stuck with Nate, because at first Miranda did not She 355 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,919 Speaker 8: was like, that's ridiculous. And then she was like, you 356 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,680 Speaker 8: know what, it is important to stand in front of 357 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 8: those you love and say those words out loud to 358 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 8: the one you love. 359 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,200 Speaker 6: And so I wanted to do. 360 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 5: That, Okay, And we did it. We did it, We 361 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,160 Speaker 5: did it. Yeah. 362 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 4: And then she had the nerve to renovate our apartment 363 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 4: in the same year as that wedding. And I looked 364 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 4: at my bank account and I was like, what happened 365 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,119 Speaker 4: to the money? 366 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 5: She said, besting in our future. 367 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 7: I'm like, Okay, the money's still there, all right, all right, 368 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,119 Speaker 7: all right, okay. 369 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,880 Speaker 1: Next next question for you to did your relationship have 370 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,160 Speaker 1: the full support of your friends and family? 371 00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,200 Speaker 5: Oh? You had to go there, right, It's on the list. 372 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:04,640 Speaker 5: How to go there? Well, do you want to share? 373 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 5: I think we can share what we found out. 374 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 6: On the We found out on the honeymoon. 375 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,879 Speaker 4: What I mean we found out. Oh no, you didn't 376 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 4: know either about your brother. No, that story, Yeah, you 377 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 4: want to tell that story? 378 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,959 Speaker 5: Should we tell that story? 379 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: Please? 380 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:21,760 Speaker 5: All right? 381 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 4: This was a big family secret that they finally revealed. 382 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 5: Go ahead, tell the story. 383 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:31,959 Speaker 8: From what I got gathered, the family told me that 384 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,919 Speaker 8: they had like had a meeting to get together and 385 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:36,919 Speaker 8: how are we going to set. 386 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,679 Speaker 4: So they had an intervention, all right, they had an 387 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 4: intervention on zoom or telephone, yes, where they said Amber 388 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 4: has lost her mind. She's gotten together with the senior citizen, 389 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 4: and you know, we've got to stop this from happening. 390 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 4: What is happening with her? 391 00:19:59,359 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 5: You know? 392 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 4: And so they tried to figure out whether she was 393 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 4: mentally stable or not. 394 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,440 Speaker 3: No, that's that's serious. 395 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 4: Keep in mind, and that bet we all get along. 396 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 4: I love her brother, her brother loves me. 397 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 5: Where we're doing, Okay? 398 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 6: Ten years ago this happened a long, long, long time. 399 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 4: And now things have changed a lot, and her family 400 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 4: has been on both sides, her mother's side of the family, 401 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 4: her father's side of the family. They're very embracing, very 402 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,960 Speaker 4: wonderful you know, very. 403 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 6: Happy and all is well. 404 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 8: Had that being said, they did admit to us that 405 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 8: that had occurred, and I did. 406 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:38,640 Speaker 3: Not know that. 407 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:38,960 Speaker 1: Wow. 408 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,879 Speaker 2: I mean the cool thing is they've come around and 409 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,879 Speaker 2: look at you now, and that's awesome. 410 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:43,920 Speaker 3: Exactly exactly. 411 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 2: How would you this was the next question, but this 412 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 2: will be slightly amended for y'all because you're newlyweds. But 413 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 2: how would you describe your first year of marriage? I 414 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:55,359 Speaker 2: would ask, how is your relationship now that you're married? 415 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 3: Has it changed? 416 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 8: Gonna say no, because I always felt married to you. 417 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, I would agree, But I think it's the years 418 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 4: have gone by Amy and TJ that I think we 419 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:20,440 Speaker 4: get more and more romantic and more into the first 420 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 4: couple of years were more about friendship, being best friends 421 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 4: and changing diapers yeah, and supporting one another two Yeah. 422 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 4: But now we have really taken the time to be 423 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,640 Speaker 4: We've always been kind to one another, but even kinder 424 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 4: and more romantic. We make it. We make it a job. 425 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:45,720 Speaker 4: And what I mean by that is, well, but it's 426 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,640 Speaker 4: you know, if you talk the talk, you walk the walk. 427 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 4: When I work with with couples, I say, you know, 428 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,880 Speaker 4: it's really important that you do the necessary things check 429 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,439 Speaker 4: off the boxes every day. A hug, a touch on 430 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaker 4: the shoulder, a kiss, saying I love you, even if 431 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 4: you're not feeling it, you should do it. So we 432 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 4: make it a job. We and but it's it's it's 433 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 4: it's great work. If you can get it right. 434 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,639 Speaker 1: You follow your own advice. That's good to hear. 435 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 3: Yes, I do, he does, all right. 436 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,439 Speaker 2: I disclosure on this next question because we've asked everyone 437 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 2: this and you can answer it however you'd like. But 438 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 2: how would you describe your sex life? 439 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:31,359 Speaker 6: Wonderful? 440 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 4: I think it's one you know, the word I would 441 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 4: use is very intimate. It's very intimate in that it's 442 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 4: something just for us. It's something where it's not just 443 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 4: a physical, you know, interaction, but an emotional and spiritual interaction. 444 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,880 Speaker 5: Wouldn't you say it's something that is so. 445 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:08,400 Speaker 4: It just it's it's gorgeous everything yet expresses love on 446 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 4: many different levels. 447 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 6: Good, great, wonderful. 448 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 1: Next question here. I know you'll kind of hit on 449 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 1: this already because you talk about just a simple touch 450 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: on the shoulder, a hug or kiss. But how important 451 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,440 Speaker 1: is physical touch in your relationship? And kind of specifically 452 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:27,080 Speaker 1: do you hold hands when you're just randomly walking down 453 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:27,440 Speaker 1: the street. 454 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,360 Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, we even hold hands in the house. 455 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,320 Speaker 8: If we get a minute to sit down next to 456 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 8: each other and the kids are not driving, it's crazy. 457 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 6: And if we're sitting down next to each other, we 458 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 6: are holding hands. 459 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, but we do have to tell them about your 460 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 4: aversion to sentimental Sundays. 461 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:47,399 Speaker 8: Wow. 462 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:51,439 Speaker 4: So on Sunday, when we're having dinner and a glass 463 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 4: of red wine, I'll tell her, you know, isn't it 464 00:23:54,600 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 4: wonderful that the most improbable relationship the couple people never 465 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 4: thought could happen? You know, how is it that we're together? 466 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 4: Isn't it strange but wonderful? She'll say, Oh, it's sentimental Sundays, 467 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,439 Speaker 4: isn't it. 468 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:14,920 Speaker 5: She said. 469 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 8: I always tell him he's more of a communicator than I, 470 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 8: which is a good thing. He thinks something and it 471 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,240 Speaker 8: comes out, or he feels an emotion and it comes 472 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,440 Speaker 8: out and he shows it, whereas I'm just like, oh, 473 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 8: I'm so lucky and great and I love Jeff so much. 474 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,679 Speaker 8: But I'll just be like saying it while scrambling eggs, 475 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 8: like I don't say. 476 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 4: It, but she says, but she says it while scrambling eggs. 477 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 4: Because we don't know how much longer we'll have with 478 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:45,480 Speaker 4: eggs meaning to it. 479 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,600 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. 480 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,160 Speaker 2: On the flip side, how often do you all fight 481 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:51,280 Speaker 2: or have an argument? 482 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 5: Rarely? 483 00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 6: If I were to quantify it, I'd say twice the year. 484 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 3: Of Wow, was it always like that? 485 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 5: Pretty much? 486 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 4: And when we do, when we do argue or have 487 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:14,439 Speaker 4: a disagreement, I think we solve it within what thirty minutes? 488 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,639 Speaker 5: Fifty? Not even that's amazing. 489 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 1: What do you fight? 490 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,679 Speaker 5: I think? But I think that I think the reason 491 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 5: is amy. It's the difference in the ages. I think 492 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 5: that makes a difference. You know. 493 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 4: I often said to her, if you married someone in 494 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 4: your own age, you might be divorced by now. 495 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,160 Speaker 5: I have the patience of ah. 496 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,359 Speaker 1: Ah, it is all coming together. 497 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 3: Now do you what what? When you do fight? What 498 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:46,640 Speaker 3: do you fight about? 499 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 5: Most? Oh? I have an answer, but go ahead. What 500 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 5: do you think? What do you fight about? Most? I 501 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:59,240 Speaker 5: don't have an answer, Okay, I have an answer. Time. 502 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 6: Oh, I'm always running. 503 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:08,360 Speaker 4: Late, like this morning, Like when we went on that cruise, 504 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 4: I said, listen, the boat leaves, the ship leaves at 505 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,760 Speaker 4: one or two o'clock. Let's get there by eleven. We 506 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 4: got there five minutes to two. Don't get me started. 507 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 6: No, that's not true. We made it there. 508 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 5: Way all right. We got there by one o'clock. 509 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 6: I made you know. 510 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 4: I don't take those kinds of chances he's operating on. 511 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 5: Is there something resonating here with you? 512 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 1: Yes, we do that. But but dogs the guard deer 513 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: we have we had this issue. But I give her credit. 514 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 1: She is now completely on her own. She will start 515 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 1: because you know what, it's it's bitten there in the 516 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 1: butt a couple of times to where she ends up 517 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:53,360 Speaker 1: panicked or stressed because maybe there's the first uber canceled, 518 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 1: or maybe there was a flat tire, maybe there was 519 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,919 Speaker 1: traffic you didn't anticipate. So she is seen where the 520 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,399 Speaker 1: value is in making sure you're always always early. 521 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:06,719 Speaker 5: But isn't But isn't that the cosmic joke though? TJ. 522 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,400 Speaker 5: People who look like you and I are. 523 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 4: Always labeled as folks not being on times. Look who 524 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 4: we're with, and they're the ones who are always late. 525 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 3: Yes, that's true. 526 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 1: They own white people times right. 527 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:26,840 Speaker 2: They ain't even privileged people time exactly right. 528 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,639 Speaker 1: I'll own that you could afford to be late. I 529 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 1: kind of show up early. 530 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 3: You know, so I also I see the value in it. 531 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 5: Right amber, if you call me a DEI higher. 532 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 3: All right, have you all? Do you all go to 533 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 3: bed angry? 534 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 5: Never? 535 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:48,400 Speaker 7: No? 536 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 5: Never? 537 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 8: Wow? 538 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:50,880 Speaker 5: Never? 539 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:53,960 Speaker 6: It's important I think to separate. 540 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 8: And I know you've heard of or read about like 541 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 8: certain energies. So and emotions are very powerful and strong things. 542 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 8: They make people do things that they otherwise wouldn't. So 543 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 8: if you are in the same room with someone and 544 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 8: you're arguing and you feel that energy, I think it's 545 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,160 Speaker 8: important to separate until And that's one thing my mom 546 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,399 Speaker 8: used to teach me, go into a different room and 547 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 8: take ten deep breaths. 548 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:22,760 Speaker 5: And I disagree with that. Why I disagree with that. 549 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:26,400 Speaker 4: I think it's really important to talk about it afterwards. 550 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 4: Then okay to talk about it, and then so for yeah, 551 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,359 Speaker 4: so to talk about it before you go to bed, 552 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:36,640 Speaker 4: or even say, let's agree to disagree, but out being 553 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 4: you know, together is important. But for some folks that 554 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 4: I know, I'm not mentioning any names. Sometimes I'm not 555 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 4: mentioning any names. Sometimes just having a couple of hours 556 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 4: apart works for them. 557 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 5: She doesn't know what I'm talking about. 558 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 1: We were trying to remember you told you gave us 559 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 1: a recommendation about going to bed angry, and we're getting 560 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:07,000 Speaker 1: different reports from different couples about what they decide to do. 561 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,560 Speaker 1: Some say, yeah, go to bed angry. It's okay, but 562 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,480 Speaker 1: we could still kiss each other good night, but I'm 563 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,959 Speaker 1: pissed at you. And then others say, no, there's too 564 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,959 Speaker 1: much tension. We have to resolve this before we go 565 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 1: to bed, right. 566 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 6: Yeah. 567 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's not one size fits all. Yeah, but 568 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,440 Speaker 4: I will tell you one thing. If I have had 569 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 4: on sentimental Sundays as of red wine, I have the filter. 570 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 4: I have the sensor up here that says, do not 571 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 4: bring up any conflict. Is that red wine makes for 572 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:42,000 Speaker 4: a loose tongue. And then you say something and then 573 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 4: you're like, why did I say that? 574 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: Red wine? Yes, everything. 575 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 2: I think we've gotten better at the going to bed 576 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 2: angry thing. I feel like even if we haven't resolved it, 577 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,760 Speaker 2: and certainly we have gone to bed several times without 578 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,240 Speaker 2: having resolved it, but I still feel like like I 579 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,240 Speaker 2: can hold your hand in bed, or I can you 580 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,000 Speaker 2: know we can? 581 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 3: Yes, And it's. 582 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 5: Play a little foot seat or what, yeah, a. 583 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 3: Little something, just like hey, I'm still here. I'm not leaving, you. 584 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,520 Speaker 1: Know, Yeah, and Jeff, we have to get over it 585 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,720 Speaker 1: quick because we got to work together in the morning, 586 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 1: all right. 587 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 4: And you know, But and couples, it's healthy to have conflicts. 588 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 5: It's healthy, all right. 589 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: Next question here, and this is a practical one. A 590 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 1: lot of couples deal with how do you handle your finances? 591 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 1: Shared accounts, separate accounts? What do you all go with? 592 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 8: We have both personal and shared, Yeah, and multiples of 593 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 8: there's full there's there's full transparency. Yeah, he doesn't log 594 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,000 Speaker 8: into mind because there's really nothing there. 595 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 6: That's okay. 596 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 8: Everything's in the joint so we can both get in 597 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 8: there and yeah, we. 598 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,680 Speaker 4: We have no issues with that. And as well, same 599 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 4: thing with our cell phones. We share each other's pass pods, 600 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 4: but we don't go into each other's. And again, full 601 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,560 Speaker 4: transparency in everything. 602 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 1: Do you all do the life life three sixty? Thing 603 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 1: where you all or something where you know where the 604 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,760 Speaker 1: other one is all the time? You can track. 605 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 8: Them fause she knows where I am at all times. 606 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 5: I have no idea of where she does use the 607 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:20,440 Speaker 5: app and I don't. It's amazing there. 608 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,360 Speaker 2: And how do you all divide the household chores like cooking, cleaning, 609 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 2: to children, pets, et cetera. 610 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 4: I take care of all the pets. We have two. 611 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 4: We have two dogs, so that's my job, right. 612 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 6: But he doesn't brush their teeth. 613 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,840 Speaker 4: I don't brush their teeth. She does that, and she 614 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 4: gives them medication. I take care of the outside. I 615 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 4: do all the heavy labor. I move the cars, takes 616 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,600 Speaker 4: out the trash, take out the trash. I do the 617 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,880 Speaker 4: dishes during the day, you know. But she does all 618 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:58,560 Speaker 4: the vacuuming and laundry right. And cooking, even though I 619 00:31:58,640 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 4: love to, even though I. 620 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 6: Loved She's a much better cook than I have. 621 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I use I use spices. 622 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,240 Speaker 4: When we first got together, I think I lost about 623 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,640 Speaker 4: thirty pounds with her cooking. 624 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,720 Speaker 8: She would cooking. I was like a bra vegan. She 625 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,400 Speaker 8: would buy my sho She would. 626 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:19,720 Speaker 4: Make salads with like with with with you know, unneeded 627 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 4: ingredients like like raisins and lots of the ballads. 628 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 3: Do you like to make cast roles? I like to 629 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 3: make cast roles. 630 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,880 Speaker 8: Oh, cast roles are good. I need bigger casserole dishes. 631 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 8: I like them when they're nice and cheesy. 632 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 3: Yes, same, TJ does not, And. 633 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 8: You can prep them on Sunday and throw them in 634 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:43,959 Speaker 8: on likeay. 635 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 4: So that's how that's how we divvy up stuff, and 636 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 4: we divvy up everything, and we take the initiative to 637 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 4: just do whatever we can. 638 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 5: So you're amazing. 639 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 4: She she will go into the house and just clean 640 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 4: out a whole basement. That's her, that's her thing, and 641 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,280 Speaker 4: it will make it amazing. Hyper focused, hyper focus. 642 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 1: Let me confirm again, how is the laundry specifically handled? 643 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,560 Speaker 1: Because couples give us different answers here, who handles the laundry? 644 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 6: I do it all. Yeah. 645 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,160 Speaker 8: One time I asked Jeff quickly, honey, can you go 646 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 8: to the dryer, grab Nova's socks, throw them downstairs and 647 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,040 Speaker 8: turn it back on. 648 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 6: And I think. 649 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 8: He paused, didn't know where the dryer was and nor 650 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 8: where the power button was. 651 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 5: That's true. 652 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:37,080 Speaker 4: Wow, And I was like, I'm focused on there, I'm 653 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 4: focused on others. 654 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 8: There. 655 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,280 Speaker 6: I haven't asked them to go in there. 656 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 3: And that's funny. 657 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:43,840 Speaker 7: All. 658 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 1: Next question here, now, how much alone time or time 659 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,520 Speaker 1: away from each other do you find you need. 660 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 6: Alone time? As you know, with young children, you don't 661 00:33:58,440 --> 00:33:59,520 Speaker 6: get any alone time. 662 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 8: However, I feel like, well, I'm alone when I'm at 663 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 8: work because I'm not with my children and my family 664 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,319 Speaker 8: and with my patients. But that feels alone to me 665 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,880 Speaker 8: sort of, if that makes sense, because I'm not. 666 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, but alone time I would assume from one another. 667 00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 6: From one another. 668 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:22,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll answer that question if I may take. Okay, 669 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,520 Speaker 4: I don't need any alone time. I love being with them. 670 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,920 Speaker 4: I love being with all six of my children. You know, 671 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 4: that's my thing. I just absolutely love it. However, we 672 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 4: do get alone time when I travel, when I work 673 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:38,320 Speaker 4: in the city. 674 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 5: You know, we are separated. 675 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 4: In that way, but then we're on the phone zooming 676 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,400 Speaker 4: that whole time. But it does feel good. I have 677 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,960 Speaker 4: to be honest with you, to be away from you 678 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 4: for a day or two because more than enough, because 679 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,760 Speaker 4: I miss you, and then when I see you, it's great. 680 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,280 Speaker 8: I miss the kids, and I honestly have trouble sleeping 681 00:34:58,320 --> 00:34:59,239 Speaker 8: when he's not next to me. 682 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 6: I'll put a pillow there and pretend it's him so 683 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,320 Speaker 6: I can fall asleep. 684 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 3: That's really sweet. 685 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,719 Speaker 5: Used to it, you think to yourself, except except the 686 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:07,640 Speaker 5: pillow doesn't drew. 687 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,880 Speaker 2: All right, I'm going to ask the therapist. Have the 688 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 2: two of you ever been to couple's therapy? 689 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 5: Did we do couples therapy once? Oh that was my 690 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:35,880 Speaker 5: ex wife. No, it was my ex wife. Yeah. 691 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,800 Speaker 4: No, we've never been to couple's therapy, though we've talked 692 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:39,960 Speaker 4: about it a few times. 693 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,320 Speaker 8: My cousin, God bless her, brought it up and she said, 694 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,400 Speaker 8: but you should do it while things are good, and 695 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,799 Speaker 8: be proactive and do it prophylactically. And I said to 696 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 8: my cousin, you are absolutely right. It's better to have 697 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,959 Speaker 8: the foundation there in a relationship with the therapist. 698 00:35:55,680 --> 00:36:01,840 Speaker 6: That you like before it's needed. And I do believe 699 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:02,120 Speaker 6: in that. 700 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 5: How do you guys feel about that? 701 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:04,480 Speaker 7: We? 702 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,000 Speaker 1: I think we're the same as what Amberger said. We 703 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,360 Speaker 1: wanted to go. We've been wanting to go find a 704 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,560 Speaker 1: therapist while we're in a good place and just go 705 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,560 Speaker 1: talk out and have a good time and get a 706 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,840 Speaker 1: referee in the room. And but Jeff, you you have 707 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,959 Speaker 1: been that for us. I mean, really, that's we talked 708 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,799 Speaker 1: some things out with you for everybody to hear. We 709 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,480 Speaker 1: didn't mean for that to be the case, but that was. 710 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:24,440 Speaker 1: We enjoyed that. 711 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:28,280 Speaker 5: Uh yeah, I think it's a very healthy thing. I'm sorry, Amy, 712 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:29,319 Speaker 5: Oh no, I think so too. 713 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:33,320 Speaker 2: And this has been my longest relationship outside of a marriage, 714 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,120 Speaker 2: and I think it's cool to work on it before 715 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,400 Speaker 2: you take that next step, which is something I hadn't 716 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:38,640 Speaker 2: done before. 717 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,040 Speaker 3: So yeah, it's it's been good. 718 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: We're fans. Next question for you all here. Have you 719 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:48,840 Speaker 1: ever threatened to break up, leave, or get divorced in 720 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,120 Speaker 1: the middle of a heated argument? 721 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,040 Speaker 5: Have you? No? No? 722 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:58,360 Speaker 8: Well, and neither of I right, you use the words 723 00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:03,879 Speaker 8: I'm done, but you has picked it up. Our son 724 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,759 Speaker 8: were like, I've done, I've done, and I'm like, I 725 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:07,880 Speaker 8: don't really know what that means. 726 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 9: Like I think in the early I think, I think 727 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,759 Speaker 9: in the earlier years, maybe in the first two or 728 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:18,440 Speaker 9: three years, I might have said something like that, you know, 729 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,360 Speaker 9: but out of frustration I didn't mean it. 730 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,120 Speaker 4: But the advice I give folks, and we've already talked 731 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 4: about that, is to not throw that divorce word around 732 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,439 Speaker 4: because many times it's an empty threat that can turn 733 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,880 Speaker 4: into something that can be very lethal and hurtful. 734 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,719 Speaker 5: So I don't think I've said anything like that. 735 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,040 Speaker 3: Is done. 736 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:36,759 Speaker 6: It upsets me. 737 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 5: Well, she has. 738 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:42,640 Speaker 4: She has abandonment issues. Quite honestly, we're being true about that. 739 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,880 Speaker 4: Her parents divorced very young. 740 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:47,759 Speaker 6: Did much of the raise. 741 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:51,319 Speaker 5: Her father raised all the children. That's why when she. 742 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 4: Met me and found out that I was raising four children, 743 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,320 Speaker 4: you know, as a father, she said, hey. 744 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:04,839 Speaker 5: Sexy, oh that's great. Be it ever so terrible? There's 745 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,160 Speaker 5: no place like home? 746 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,319 Speaker 1: Do do you have? Does Amber have an equivalent? Right? 747 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,040 Speaker 1: I mean you said he'll say I'm done. But does 748 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,520 Speaker 1: Amber say anything? Doctor Gard in the middle of a 749 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:21,799 Speaker 1: heated argument that anything like that, she's got nothing. Well, 750 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,480 Speaker 1: good for you, no, no, ye should talk groups. 751 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,399 Speaker 3: So what is the sweetest thing your partner has done 752 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:33,680 Speaker 3: for you? 753 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:40,680 Speaker 6: He always brings me flowers, yes, and not just like 754 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,200 Speaker 6: one bouquet, two or three. 755 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,640 Speaker 8: Yes, And I'm like, okay, that's enough, that's enough, that's enough. 756 00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,800 Speaker 6: And then they just keep showing up, especially in the summer. 757 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 4: In the summer, every Saturday or Sunday, I bring her 758 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:55,719 Speaker 4: red roses and then he. 759 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,399 Speaker 8: Gives them to our sun to then get on one 760 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:02,239 Speaker 8: knee and hand to me like he'll follow the directions. 761 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 6: And that's it's just so stinking cute. And I'm like, 762 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:04,279 Speaker 6: thank you. 763 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:07,240 Speaker 5: Yeah. 764 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 4: And the most romantic thing that you've done for me 765 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:16,399 Speaker 4: is been an incredible mother along with their mother as 766 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,000 Speaker 4: far as raising my first four children and then giving 767 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,640 Speaker 4: me two more children. I think that's the most romantic thing, 768 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:24,480 Speaker 4: that's the most. 769 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,919 Speaker 1: That is so do these guys, that is really guys. 770 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,480 Speaker 1: I'm We'll say it. We'll talk about it plenty here 771 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,120 Speaker 1: with all the interviews we're doing, but we have gotten 772 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,640 Speaker 1: so much out of these interviews we're doing with couples. 773 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:43,200 Speaker 1: Really for us who still fairly new and navigating a 774 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,320 Speaker 1: lot of things, there's a lot of hope that comes 775 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,600 Speaker 1: out of the conversation with you. All. This is we've 776 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,760 Speaker 1: known you a long time doctor guard dear, but Amber, 777 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,960 Speaker 1: you've I guess you've added to the package here in 778 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 1: a way we didn't. We didn't even realize it could 779 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,120 Speaker 1: be improved this much. 780 00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:01,360 Speaker 5: But it's uh my secret weapon. A lot of people 781 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,600 Speaker 5: don't know about her. 782 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,960 Speaker 4: But you know, when you invited us, I think this 783 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:10,440 Speaker 4: is the first one of the first interviews we've done together. 784 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,879 Speaker 4: I think there are a few magazine articles way back 785 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:16,239 Speaker 4: when that we did for some friends. But you know, 786 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,400 Speaker 4: when you requested, of course, we said. 787 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we do appreciate that. We just have a 788 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 1: few more questions to get to here, and here is one. 789 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,160 Speaker 1: What would you all say to couples, a couple that's 790 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,520 Speaker 1: considering marriage, what is it that you would take the 791 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:34,239 Speaker 1: opportunity to tell them to make sure you consider this, 792 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,840 Speaker 1: you think about this, or even maybe you something you 793 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,400 Speaker 1: want to warn them about. A couple considering going down 794 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,480 Speaker 1: the aisle, what is it you would want to tell 795 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:43,000 Speaker 1: them first? 796 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:51,120 Speaker 8: I would say, take note that it doesn't change much 797 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,720 Speaker 8: in your relationship. It's not a magic on off button. 798 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,879 Speaker 8: There's nothing digital about marriage. It's it's all analog. It's 799 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,719 Speaker 8: it's this, it's from point A to point B, and 800 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:08,840 Speaker 8: it's it's a constant journey. And so the actual marriage 801 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,160 Speaker 8: doesn't change your relationship if you ask me in your head, 802 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,359 Speaker 8: if it does, that's great. However, it takes two to 803 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:21,239 Speaker 8: tango and it's a journey and nothing. Really the change 804 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,480 Speaker 8: is constant, right, that's the only constant. Growth is optional, 805 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,640 Speaker 8: So the growth part is important. 806 00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:35,439 Speaker 5: I would say the first thing is prenup be don't 807 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 5: believe it or not. We don't have a pre nup. 808 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,480 Speaker 4: So I'm just joking on that, but the lawyers would 809 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:47,960 Speaker 4: probably say, no, that's really good advice. I would say friendship. 810 00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:53,160 Speaker 4: Have a friendship first. Let that be the foundation. Of 811 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:59,480 Speaker 4: the relationship, even if it's you know, a very physical attraction. 812 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,120 Speaker 4: But make sure that the friendship is in place and 813 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:07,960 Speaker 4: stays in place throughout the marriage. And of course transparency 814 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:13,359 Speaker 4: and you know, whatever you expect from your partner, make 815 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,680 Speaker 4: sure that you are ready to deliver the same thing. 816 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, people thinking about what they're getting, not what they 817 00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:21,040 Speaker 2: need to be giving. 818 00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:22,920 Speaker 3: That's very important. I like that. 819 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 2: So everyone describes the honeymoon phase of a relationship, and 820 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,000 Speaker 2: then you hear these very non romantic things like and 821 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,520 Speaker 2: then love is a decision, But how do you keep 822 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,600 Speaker 2: the romance alive after so many years? 823 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:44,279 Speaker 8: I feel like I just met my soulmate, and I 824 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,680 Speaker 8: cannot believe that it's already been more than a decade 825 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,920 Speaker 8: that I've been with this amazing person. 826 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:51,799 Speaker 6: So truth be told. 827 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:56,360 Speaker 8: For me, it's very easy that I look back and 828 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,680 Speaker 8: I think, like, I'm still enjoying my time. 829 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,360 Speaker 6: It's Jeff, and I'm still. 830 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:04,960 Speaker 8: Getting to know him, and so it's not that hard 831 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 8: on my end, because I truly do believe in soulmates. 832 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:08,839 Speaker 6: I believe in that. 833 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,480 Speaker 8: I believe in they say the light between us. 834 00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:14,920 Speaker 6: We spoke about it when we were saying. 835 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,959 Speaker 8: Our vowels that we're energies that are moving around each other, 836 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,560 Speaker 8: and when you meet that right energy, it just works. 837 00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:28,560 Speaker 4: I would say, as we said earlier, make it, you know, 838 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,799 Speaker 4: put it on the checklist as to the things that 839 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,080 Speaker 4: you need to do to stay in love. 840 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,840 Speaker 5: And stay romantic. I think that's really important. 841 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,759 Speaker 4: The other thing that I think that really worked for us, 842 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,920 Speaker 4: as I know that it's worked for the two of you, 843 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,520 Speaker 4: is that we work out all the time, and so 844 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,840 Speaker 4: it's important for us to stay healthy for ourselves, but 845 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:55,000 Speaker 4: for one another to be present, to be able to 846 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:59,440 Speaker 4: work through whatever medical issues may be, to support one 847 00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:04,960 Speaker 4: another in that way. But you know, staying physically and 848 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:09,080 Speaker 4: spiritually healthy I think really does help in a romance 849 00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:10,200 Speaker 4: of a relationship. 850 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 2: I love that, and I love that the two of 851 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,120 Speaker 2: you were willing to sit down and talk with us 852 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,160 Speaker 2: and so we can learn more about I just I 853 00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:24,480 Speaker 2: have been so fascinated by how everybody who we've talked to. 854 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,840 Speaker 3: Who are all happy, have figured out how to be happy. 855 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,400 Speaker 2: But I you know, look, you guys are black, white, Jewish, 856 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,280 Speaker 2: non Jewish. You know, a twenty seven year age difference. 857 00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:38,360 Speaker 2: You had everything working against you, and yet look at you. 858 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:39,759 Speaker 5: That's right, that's right. 859 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:40,640 Speaker 6: It was tough. 860 00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,520 Speaker 4: The greatest love story never told. 861 00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,440 Speaker 5: Yes, right now it's being. 862 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:50,359 Speaker 3: Told, and it's going to end a lot better than 863 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:50,680 Speaker 3: j LO. 864 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:54,440 Speaker 1: And I'm still. 865 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,240 Speaker 3: Okay, they could still reconcile, right. 866 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,600 Speaker 5: Well, I'm hoping for them. 867 00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:02,520 Speaker 1: Actually, to me, I am genuine hoping for those two still. 868 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because they had that friendship thing. I know. 869 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:10,080 Speaker 2: I know, well doctor Jeff Gardier, doctor Amber Brodie who's 870 00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,240 Speaker 2: soon to become doctor Amber Guardier. 871 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,920 Speaker 5: Yes, that is the one contention that we have. 872 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,400 Speaker 4: I think it's taken way too long for her to 873 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:23,239 Speaker 4: do that, right, that is the one conflict that we've had. 874 00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,879 Speaker 4: Like I give you that that stink face when you say, oh, 875 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:26,279 Speaker 4: I'll do it. 876 00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:26,680 Speaker 5: I'm like. 877 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,479 Speaker 6: So busy with patients. There's like this much time. 878 00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,560 Speaker 8: You have to go to the Social Security Office, right, 879 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,040 Speaker 8: go to the DMV. I have to change three DA. 880 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,560 Speaker 1: Licenses three doctor guardian three. 881 00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,400 Speaker 6: That's a lot EA licenses. 882 00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,440 Speaker 8: Like that's like you know the Drug Enforcement Agency of 883 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:46,400 Speaker 8: the United States. 884 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,319 Speaker 4: Well, you better do it, you better do it while 885 00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:53,440 Speaker 4: we still have a drug enforcement We're not going to 886 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,920 Speaker 4: get into politics here, but you know what I'm talking. 887 00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:59,200 Speaker 1: You know what this wasn't on the list, but I'm 888 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,080 Speaker 1: curious about that. How important do you all think it 889 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,160 Speaker 1: is a woman that changes her last name once they 890 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,879 Speaker 1: get married. Robock has a look on her face right now. 891 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,080 Speaker 2: I've been married twice and I've never changed my last name. 892 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,280 Speaker 2: It certainly worked out well for me in that sense. 893 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,440 Speaker 2: Stand in any lines ever, that would have been annoying. 894 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:22,240 Speaker 5: So I think it's I think it's up to the couple, 895 00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,120 Speaker 5: but you feeling. 896 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,319 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think one of the things that you were 897 00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:29,160 Speaker 4: talking about was actually hyphenating. 898 00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,440 Speaker 5: Right for Brody, guard. 899 00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:35,600 Speaker 8: Take my middle name, which I'm sorry, my last name, 900 00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,600 Speaker 8: which happens to be used as a first and middle 901 00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,520 Speaker 8: name anyway, Brody, we all know many Brody's. Throw it 902 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:45,160 Speaker 8: in the middle, that's easy, and then put Guardier at 903 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:45,440 Speaker 8: the end. 904 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,520 Speaker 4: Right. Brady never asked her to do it, but it's 905 00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,680 Speaker 4: something that she said she would do. And because she 906 00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,360 Speaker 4: said she would do it, then I would if you 907 00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:57,600 Speaker 4: insisted on keeping the last name Brody, I wouldn't have 908 00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,000 Speaker 4: a problem with that. But Guardier sounds a whole lot nice. 909 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,319 Speaker 6: So don't you think it's a fully French name. 910 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,880 Speaker 4: Well, there you go, and it's a Haitian name, and 911 00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,800 Speaker 4: we need you in the Haitian core. 912 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,160 Speaker 1: It would be weird though, to doctor Guardian all the 913 00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:14,080 Speaker 1: doctor Guardia in my head is bald and has glasses. 914 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,040 Speaker 1: I can't imagine picture. 915 00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,680 Speaker 3: Just Brody Guardier, Brody gard Okay, there you go. 916 00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,040 Speaker 1: All right, guys, really, it is so good to see 917 00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,960 Speaker 1: you all's faces, and we hope to see y'all in 918 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,120 Speaker 1: here in studio possibly, but certainly when you all learn 919 00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:32,759 Speaker 1: the city. Let us know. Doctor Guardier, doctor Brody, thank 920 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,560 Speaker 1: you all so so much for this all. 921 00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,680 Speaker 4: Right, great to see you both, Amy and TJ. 922 00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,080 Speaker 5: Thank you, I thank you