1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: I'll come back to another episode of The Code. Addition, 2 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollack, Yes that Kevin. Nope, I 3 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,319 Speaker 1: don't know when this will Like, why would you ask 4 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:20,120 Speaker 1: a comedian such as science based question? Jesus, what's wrong 5 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:25,279 Speaker 1: with you? What's that? Oh? You were asking about the podcast? 6 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: I don't know when that will end? Maybe today, but 7 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,639 Speaker 1: I digress. Let's meet our chamist, shall we, and no 8 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: particular order, please say hello to Chris Savlorado, King's crossing. Chris, 9 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: what do you find yourself wearing most these days? Okay, sweatpants? 10 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: But but reluctantly, I'm not enjoying this, um the sweatpants. Yeah, 11 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like I mean, I like you, 12 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 1: but then I feel like I'm liking it too much 13 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: and it scares me, Like, who am I becoming It's 14 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: a whole thing. Okay, great, well you're becoming comfortable if 15 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: I'm oh, yeah, I hear. I feel you though, check 16 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 1: your hands sandwich. Craig Atkowski is in the Hoose Cocu. 17 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 1: Any thoughts on paper versus Rock as a rocham boy 18 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:17,680 Speaker 1: Boho first choice Rochambo first choice. Wells rock paper beats rock. Sure, 19 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: but we're talking, I'm asking if I'm weighing, if I'm 20 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 1: weighing paper and rock, I'm going with paper. No, I'm 21 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: asking you in your thoughts, what do you choose to 22 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: go with on the first round? And scissors is not 23 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 1: an option. It wasn't, but we can make it one. 24 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 1: Just to be contrary, I'm gonna say scissors, but real scissors, 25 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 1: not the fake ones you make with your fingers. Okay, 26 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,759 Speaker 1: you brought scissors to a knife fight. Pick up your ears. 27 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: It's Jessica Low, the devil you Low. How do you 28 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: think it'll be a wait? How long do you think 29 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: it will be before you're comfortable shaking someone's hand? Two days? Yeah? 30 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 1: Oh x, I've you give the whole world has been 31 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 1: given the thumbs up. Ye'll spram nice and good with 32 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: Lisol from head to toe and then share their goddamn hand. 33 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: Oh I love that hunk. If you love hash Browns, 34 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: it's James heeneytime, Johnny Jen what's become the surprise bonus 35 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: for you? From being self quarantine, I've learned how to 36 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: make vegan banana pancakes. And not only can I make them, 37 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: but if I make a giant batch, I can do 38 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: all the work on one day and then cook it 39 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: every other day in between my hash browns and eggs meals. 40 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: I think banana pancakes are great. Let me ask the question. 41 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: I believe everyone's wondering, what do you consider to be 42 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: a giant six large pancakes or I would say twelve 43 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 1: small pancakes. Basically, it is six meals of pancakes, and I, 44 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 1: my wife and I enjoy it for three days. Joey, 45 00:02:56,120 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: you have to follow up a question. I'm sick. I'm sick. 46 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: You're sick. Yeah, I just wanted I just wanted to know, Uh, 47 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 1: where does this concoction sit? Is it in the fridge? 48 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: Is it on a counter? Is it outside? I just 49 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: leave it open on the counter. Show you think of 50 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: a madman one of those green containers that's like tupperware, 51 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: but it keeps things pressure longer and back as deep 52 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: in the fridge as it goes, so that it gets 53 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: a little frost on the edge. This this green container 54 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: you seem to announce as if all of us know 55 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: what you're talking about. Is that would you consider that 56 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: to be the discord of tupperware? Oh man, don't don't 57 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: you start. It's gonna be if if we get into 58 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: a discord discord argument, a discord discord, you can you can. 59 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: You can see it as seen on TV, and I 60 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: don't know a lot of that has seen on TV. 61 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: Probings work this one does. You can keep food in 62 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: the fridge in these green containers longer than most tamers. 63 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: U Joe follow up question for you, how many meals 64 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: a day are you eating? I am having I'll probably 65 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: have two meals a day. I'll have breakfast and dinner, 66 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 1: and then I'll snack in between. What you lunch? Uh 67 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: like like two pickles, a handful of olives? Waite for it? 68 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: Two pickles? We're talking pickles, spears or hold no, no no, no, 69 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 1: the real deal, holy Field. I'm talking about the tubes 70 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: and pickle tubes. Pickle tubes. Now, we've got a billion 71 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: dollar business. Pickle tub. I do have some hot dogs 72 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: that expire today, so we're gonna have a cookout, so 73 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: I need to get those meat tubes in. All right, 74 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: we're coming. That's pretty much it. Can you feed us 75 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 1: from the driveway? Yeah, all right, let's do a damn show. 76 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: Almost all of our scene suggestions gathered from our Patreon 77 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: v I p s as well as your listener emails. 78 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: If you lie to submit a listener's emails, scene suggested, 79 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: please write to the podcast at your name here in 80 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 1: Alchemy this dot com that's your name here at Great Seen. 81 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 1: One comes from patron Alchemniac Joseph, who wrote, I have 82 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: a few, so pick one, and I did, And here 83 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: it is. James becomes too involved with the success of Alchemy, 84 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 1: this that he has begun using improv in every aspect 85 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 1: of his life, at home with his wife, the doctor's office, everywhere. 86 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: It gets to the point where the crew holds an intervention. 87 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: You are all awesome. I listened literally every day, Joseph. 88 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: I mean this is getting out out of hand. Well, 89 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 1: what time is he supposed to be here? He was 90 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 1: supposed to be here six hours ago. I think we 91 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: just have a breakfast intervention for him in this event. 92 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: The last one is a Hashbrown intervention. Yes, now, this 93 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: is an improv intervention. Why not just doing all purpose 94 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,599 Speaker 1: intervention for every aspect of his life? No, no, no, 95 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: no, no no, we gotta keep it specifically. These things he's 96 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: not going to understand if we do it like an 97 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: all purpose intervention. All right, I'm yeah, I need I 98 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: need an intervention. I'm so I'm getting tired of playing myself. Guys, 99 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I want to be somebody else. Alright, 100 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: It's not about you, It's about James right now. Can 101 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: I just say, I can't believe this is my voice 102 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 1: because I always do other voices. I guess this is 103 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: how I talk, and I have to talk about this 104 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: strange right now? Yeah, yeah, it's strange. So you're not 105 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: doing anything to this is this is my god given voice. 106 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: That's true. You have to be doing something what you're doing, 107 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 1: like a hit or something. Are you serious? That's how 108 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 1: this is. So you have just a freaky voice naturally. 109 00:06:54,960 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: This is like, well, if Jessica is using a natural voice, 110 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: that I'll use my natural voice as well. Talk. This 111 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: is how I talk when I'm not, you know, performing, 112 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: I'm not performing all of your neck muscles at once. No, 113 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: this is very relaxed for me. It's it's actually to 114 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: do that normal Craig Kikowski voice, that more deep, resonant 115 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: thing that I do that takes a lot out of me. 116 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: It's basically based on everything else we know about you, Craig. 117 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: This voice makes a lot more. It makes much more sense. Really, 118 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: do you think so? You're you know you're you're a 119 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 1: bit of a brainiac. You're a smart guy. This sounds 120 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: like that. All right, We're gonna be real. I'm I 121 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: can't do this anymore. I'm gonna take my skin off 122 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: because this is not the way I look. What does 123 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: that mean? God? So, oh my god. Yeah, I'm a 124 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: little smaller than the listeners should know. We're we're too. 125 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 1: Gathered in a Brady Bunch type display on the Zoom app, 126 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: and the four of us can see Joey and things 127 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: are not what you think. I'm smaller than what I normally. 128 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 1: It's it's mostly hat. Yeah, well, I mean I live 129 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: in my hat. I wear that beanie, but it's actually 130 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 1: my home. If you played Dungeon Dream Dragons, James, did 131 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: you hear me? James? Hey, Hey, buddy, James, come on in. 132 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 1: Hey James, it's Craig Greig Kikowski. Greig be really be Greig. Sorry, 133 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: I'm late. Somebody asked me if I had him in it, 134 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: and I said yes, and and I've got time to 135 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 1: spare God. We went for a long walk and I 136 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: realized I was missing things out. Who who was this person, 137 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 1: James that you I don't know. It was a stranger 138 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: and they said, you have a minute to talk and 139 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 1: he wants me to give him some credit card information 140 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,119 Speaker 1: and so security stuff. He said, yes, yes, yes, who's 141 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: the who's the guy sitting in for Joey? That's me? Man, 142 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 1: this is how I actually look. I took my skin 143 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: off and I wanted to show you. Whoever really would 144 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: oh my god. Yeah, look dude in the Dungeons and 145 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: Dragons universe, I guess you would call me. I don't know, 146 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,679 Speaker 1: like a half linger or a home or something like that. 147 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: But yeah, that's kind of what I actually looked like. 148 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: I would call you. Gangly. Uh, thank you, James. Joey's 149 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,679 Speaker 1: metamorphos has a little bit to do with why I 150 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: invited you intoday. Um, we're we're all sort of coming clean. 151 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: We felt a need to purge emotionally and spiritually. Yes, 152 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: and I'll like some stay each in order to do 153 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: it as well. Yeah, I don't want you to add 154 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 1: anything to what I'm saying. I just want you to listen, 155 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,439 Speaker 1: if that's cool. Yes, I'm listening with my ears as 156 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 1: close as I can. And now I'll listen even longer. Okay, Um, Craig, 157 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: you want to James, buddy, this is what I What 158 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 1: the funk are you doing? This is what I really 159 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 1: sound like. Okay, yes, I get it. This is who 160 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: I am. And a moment Jessica is going to talk 161 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 1: and reveal her horrific natural voice as well. Uh but 162 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: but this is work I'm in clean Okay, and you 163 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: need to do the same. You need to admit that 164 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 1: you've been trying to Improv has its place, you know, Uh, 165 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: but it's extended to do it in all aspects of 166 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: your life and that's not right. Give me, Craig, give 167 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: us your second and third favorite example of how improv 168 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 1: does have its place. Improv is funny on stage two. 169 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 1: It's funny out of podcast three. And that's about it. Great, Chris, 170 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 1: you had something you want, Chris baby, listen to me. Okay. Look, 171 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:35,720 Speaker 1: I know you like doing the actors. You're like doing 172 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: the voices and all that stuff. Look, we gotta role. 173 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: It's you, baby, you gotta play you. Okay, Listen, you're 174 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: my agent, but you're also my friend. You know. I'm 175 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 1: a character actor. I know. Listen, this is Avatar three. 176 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 1: We're talking about you. Okay, I don't want so what. 177 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: I'm handsome, great, I'm a good actor. Cool. I don't 178 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: want to be that. That's why I am every single 179 00:10:55,559 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 1: day like that Christian missing me off, and I don't 180 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: like that. Nobody likes that. We like your voice. We're 181 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: doing you, okay, nobody likes Nobody liked it going Hey, 182 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: look at that. No one wants that, Chris. All right, 183 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 1: they want you doing you all right? Now? The scene 184 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 1: is no, it's about forty minutes. You're just reading the paper, 185 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: sip it some coffee, Avatar three, What are you think 186 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: I mean? I trust you, Like I said, You're not 187 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: just my agent, You're my friend. I'm your friend. Okay, 188 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: Mr Cameron will see you now, is it Chris Alvarado, Yes, sir, Okay, 189 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: just follow me now. I should preface when you enter 190 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 1: Mr Cameron's office. Um, do your best to look him 191 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: directly in the eyes without looking right at it. Oh okay, okay, 192 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,320 Speaker 1: just give me a second. I'm gonna copy make sure 193 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: a big black box. Mr Cameron. Are we ready? The 194 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,679 Speaker 1: next actor is ready to see you. His name is 195 00:11:55,760 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado. I'll bring him in all rights, right, huh yep, 196 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 1: come on in. Hey, how you doing? It's me Chris Avarido. 197 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: How you doing? Jim Cameron, King of the World? Cool? Cool, cool, 198 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: Mr Cameron. Before you even talk, I got a couple 199 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 1: of things to say. One, I love all of your movies. 200 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:29,719 Speaker 1: I think they're so good too. I just want to 201 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: work with you. And that's the range I can bring, sir, 202 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 1: that's the range I can bring. Those three characters, I 203 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:42,959 Speaker 1: got plenty more. Oh really yeah? Okay, because Chris, what 204 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: the hell you doing that? Hey? I told you be you? 205 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: I told you be you. Jesus, Chris, do you know 206 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,599 Speaker 1: what you did? Do you know what you just did? Know? 207 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: He loves he wants more, all right, But he doesn't 208 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 1: want you for Avatar three. Okay, he doesn't want you. 209 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 1: Do you want you to go to his house and 210 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 1: do those acts? Do those characters for a little house party? 211 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 1: Got okay? Superintimate thing, superintimate? He do worry about it, 212 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: all right. Look it's gonna be used Avatar three, Avatar three. Right, Okay, Hey, 213 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: you're not only my agent, you're my friend. All right? Yeah? Okay, 214 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: o good, okay, just just just remember do what you 215 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 1: did in the audition. Okay, Hey, Lenny uh Is, Chris stovrobber, 216 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: your client? Yeah, client, what's going on? Let me get 217 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:29,960 Speaker 1: the two per stronamies. No bread, I've got a project. 218 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 1: I think he might be perfect. Talk to me, man, 219 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 1: Let me get those pastramis to go and put them 220 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 1: in me. It's it's a biopic go on. That's called 221 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 1: the James Heeney story. Look, do you want to help? 222 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: Thank you? Mustage slab that on top of that? Me? Yeah? 223 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 1: Can I have the mustion the zip blog bag separate, Julian. 224 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 1: Look every time I come to this guy, damn Delhi. 225 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 1: You walk up to me, all right, first thing you 226 00:13:58,480 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: do is you ask if you can smell my shoe, 227 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,439 Speaker 1: and the second thing you do is you want to 228 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: pitch me some more. Goddamn think Look your client, James Haney. Yeah, 229 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,559 Speaker 1: he's too in his head. This guy is doing improv everywhere. Man. Yeah, No, 230 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 1: this is a scripted, beautiful movie. And uh I got 231 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,559 Speaker 1: Craig Getkowski to direct. So I'm telling you this is 232 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: a project your client's gonna want to be in. Wow. 233 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: Greig Atkowski really came into himself when he started talking 234 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 1: to what he does? You know what I mean? That 235 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 1: guy really blew up. You know. Look, I'll give it 236 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: a look. See, okay, I'll pitch it to Christie what 237 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 1: he wants. He's working with James Camra Avatar three. He's 238 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: on Avatar three, so we'll see what he says. I'll 239 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 1: get back there. You know what, I'm gonna have him 240 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 1: call you, Okay, can you do that? Please? You got 241 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: my number? You got? Yeah? I got you know. I'm 242 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: gonna text you to him or hey, hey James, Yeah, 243 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: it's me. It's Chris. I know who you are. I mean, 244 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What's up? No? I just I 245 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: was giving you full context, like a three line scene anyway. Um, No, 246 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 1: I don't need a full context, but you know what, 247 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 1: it was nice of you anyways. Sure. Hey, I'm kind 248 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 1: of going through something weird and I feel like maybe 249 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: you might be as well. No, but if I was, 250 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: I would uh, I would have you know, I would 251 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: have said something in private instead of making a big 252 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 1: intervention out of it. How's up? I don't know a 253 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: burn or something or you you're mad? I think you're mad. No, 254 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: I'm not mad. But if I was, what do you 255 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: tell me the question? You're telling me? He's not doing 256 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: improv anymore. No, he's saying no, but constantly no, but no, 257 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: but no, this is this is huge. We can sell 258 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 1: this story to TMZ B MZ any kind of z 259 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: we want. I feel bad. He's still my friend, you know. 260 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 1: Do you want to make it in industry? Huh yes, sir. Okay, 261 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: you have still not gone to Camera's party, which you 262 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 1: still need to do. All right, that's just two days, 263 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 1: all right, remember that, right, But we gotta sell this 264 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 1: like al right, everyone, welcome to my Jim Cameron Annual 265 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,560 Speaker 1: Memorial Day Barbecue. This is the big party of the year. 266 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: Michael Bean is here, uh, as he is in all 267 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: of my movies, and uh, you know, there's a list 268 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: clientele all around. But I want everyone to pay attention 269 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: to this young man who's gonna do a full range 270 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: of characters for us. Please give it up for Chris Alvarado. 271 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: Please please please keep it Doe, keep it, Doe. I'm 272 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: an old I'm an old man. I can't really hear that. Well, 273 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 1: oh my god, Well, welcome to the party, everybody. If 274 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: you need a drink, you just let me know, Okay, 275 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: I'll get you a drink. Okay, whenever you want to drink. Okay, 276 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: you want a little sandwich, I get you a sandwich. 277 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: I can get you a sandwich. Thank you very much, everybody, 278 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: Oh my god, and will be available in the pool 279 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: room for the rest of the day doing characters on demand. James, 280 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 1: this is one of the best parties I've ever been to. 281 00:16:55,640 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: Oh you know, it's I expected this to be as 282 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: good as Kevin. Wait wait, wait are you talking? I 283 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: was talking to James. I'm so sorry. Who are here? 284 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 1: By the way? Yeah, teeny you might know. Oh yeah, yeah, 285 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 1: my my friend Craig Kikowski is directing your biopic. Yeah, 286 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 1: it's it's been going kind of rough. Really well, it 287 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: can't be on Craig's in because he's a top notch 288 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,200 Speaker 1: She started doing that voice. He really came into himself. Yeah, 289 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: he really did. I mean, he's a phenomenal director in 290 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: his voice. Is you know I'm sorry you as you? 291 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 1: Are you serving drinks here or what? Don't you know? 292 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:43,800 Speaker 1: These are both for me back. I'll just Jessica, thanks 293 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 1: for coming into the doctor's office. I've been taking a 294 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,679 Speaker 1: look at your vocal cord X rays. Um. It seems 295 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 1: that I'm sorry. Can I just say my butt also hurts. 296 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 1: So can you also check that I just worked with 297 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 1: vocal cords. Okay, I thought you were like top whole 298 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:07,200 Speaker 1: bottom hole type of guy. Top says it on my card. 299 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 1: That's disappointing. Uh, fay for you and me both, you 300 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,959 Speaker 1: know what I mean. Yeah, I'm a straw doctor. We're 301 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:18,399 Speaker 1: gonna happen with You're a straw doctor. Yeah, top whole bottom. 302 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's genius. Okay, here's the thing. My 303 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 1: voice sounds like this now, and it sounds it sounds horrible. 304 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 1: I know, it's really disaped. Must be something wrong with you. 305 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,920 Speaker 1: But there's gotta be something wrong with you. But thank 306 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 1: you so much for noticing that. Yeah, it's it's um, 307 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 1: it's itchy, but it's also open. Uh huh. Yeah. So 308 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: what's happening right now is this is we call this 309 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,200 Speaker 1: a magma layer. So that's gonna form into a crust 310 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,000 Speaker 1: and that right there, all the area's shocking into your butt. 311 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:54,159 Speaker 1: The talks being captured by well, Jessica, you were right 312 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: to seek a second opinion with an actual proctologist. A 313 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 1: straw doctor is not a thing. I'm not sure. I'm 314 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 1: not sure where you met this gentleman. I'm not. I 315 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: met him on discord. Oh, you gotta get off of 316 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,640 Speaker 1: that app. Got to get off of that app. Well 317 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 1: as you can see. I mean, I'm right, I'm right 318 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: in there. Yeah. You can smell my breath. It smells 319 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: like ship. Um. He said, it's something to do with magma. Um, 320 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 1: building a crust along my entire digestive line. Okay, you 321 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:35,719 Speaker 1: can know that's quackery. That is pure quackery. I mean, 322 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 1: straw Doctor really should have been a red flag right away. 323 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,920 Speaker 1: It made sense to me. I didn't get it at first, 324 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,920 Speaker 1: and I felt stupid, but then it makes you know. 325 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 1: He explained further, top whole, bottom hole. But that's clever. 326 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,880 Speaker 1: It's clever, but it's not a branch of medicine. God, 327 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 1: and coming out next is a hot dog in a blanket. 328 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 1: Everybody enjoy the rest of the party. So good, so good, Mr. 329 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,719 Speaker 1: I wasn't feeling it, to be honest, A question. Can 330 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,919 Speaker 1: I ask the question? Yeah? Man, whatever you need? Um, 331 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: are you happy with your representation? I mean, I don't 332 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,840 Speaker 1: want to coach, but you should be working if I may, 333 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: in theater or in front of a camera. Yeah, that's 334 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,239 Speaker 1: what I've been thinking. The trouble, isn't Maybe you've had 335 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 1: this experience. He's become my friend, your agent. Yeah, yeah, 336 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: that's when you cut. That's when you cut paid. Oh, 337 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: that's when you cut. You know what? Will? Will you 338 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 1: stay right here? What I call him? Where am I 339 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 1: going call him? Now? Hello? Chris, my man, I can't. 340 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 1: I want you be. My wife just gave birth man, 341 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,119 Speaker 1: and this is me who wants you to be the father? 342 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,200 Speaker 1: Do you want me to be the father? Yeah, I'll 343 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 1: raise it and all that, but we want you to 344 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 1: just to be known as the father that we love 345 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 1: you so much we named it after you, the kid 346 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: that you're just such a good friend. Man, You're just 347 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 1: such a good friend. I felt the same way. First 348 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:10,520 Speaker 1: of all, Yes, I will be the dead. Oh well, 349 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 1: why did you want to call well? Because I was 350 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: thinking like, let's let's since we're taking this friendship to 351 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: the next level, let's dial back the other stuff. You 352 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Chris? Can I just tell you 353 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: one thing before we get into this other stuff. I 354 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,159 Speaker 1: just want you to know that working with you is 355 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 1: the only thing that got left. And if I lose that, 356 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,800 Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm on the 357 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 1: fucking edge. And you are just such a light. You 358 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 1: are just such a rock in my life. And the 359 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 1: Avatar three you're gonna be in it. It's gonna be 360 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 1: huge for us. He just give me one set, give 361 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 1: me one second. Yeah. So he's saying, he's saying a 362 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: bunch of things that makes me feel like I shouldn't 363 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 1: cut it right now. Yeah, And that's a surprise to 364 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 1: you somehow. I mean, what else would he do in 365 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 1: this situation but to make you feel bad and be 366 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: make sure you don't leave? So who let So what 367 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,160 Speaker 1: am I talking to? Is he actally as my friend 368 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: or my agent? Right now? He is neither in my opinion, 369 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,640 Speaker 1: he's not a good agent, and he's clearly not really 370 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 1: your friend. Hello, Okay, hey, um, Actually, on second thought, 371 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 1: never call me again. Go fund yourself. I'm firing you, 372 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 1: and I'm not your friend. I'm not your baby's dad. 373 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 1: But that feels good. That was incredibly powerful, wasn't it. Yes, 374 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,680 Speaker 1: don't you feel ten ft taller somehow? Except now I'm 375 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 1: floating in the world with that representation and that got 376 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,639 Speaker 1: an agent. My name is Len, Len Julian Chris. Are 377 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 1: you guys joining the party? Yes, yeah, Hey, hey, Julie, 378 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 1: I think I want to go over to Kevin Pollock's party. 379 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: He is the better Memorial Day parties. If you don't mind, 380 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 1: how are they better? Give me your second and third 381 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,640 Speaker 1: favorite things about his party? First of all, until this year, 382 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,119 Speaker 1: I was never invited, So I'm pretty excited. I'm pretty 383 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: excited about it. But I've been hearing about these Memorial 384 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,400 Speaker 1: Day parties for a long time. What was the takeaway 385 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 1: quickly that you that? I? Well, I haven't been there yet. 386 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: That's why I kind of want to beat this pop 387 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 1: stand and get over there. Oh so, yeah, you have 388 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,720 Speaker 1: not yet attended one of his parties. I thought you 389 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 1: had no have you? Well tell the truth? I have. Sorry, Chris, 390 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,640 Speaker 1: my agent and I were kind of close. We're gonna 391 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,159 Speaker 1: hit the hit the road and get out of here. 392 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,879 Speaker 1: Are you guys? A good job on your little skits? 393 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 1: What was that? They weren't They weren't skits? Uh? Well, listen, 394 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 1: even if the worse skits, they're better than all the 395 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,680 Speaker 1: short form you've been doing all around town, You maniac 396 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: seven assholes walk into a bar. Yeah that's it, Go ahead, 397 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: came Cameron. These these two free camprovisors are fighting in 398 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: your goddamn pool room. We've gotta kick them out of here. 399 00:23:54,359 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 1: You know, it's not a Cameron party until there's a fight. Not. 400 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 1: I'm seriously, they're hurting each other. They're hurting each other, 401 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: they're destroying the property. Okay, yeah, but shoot one of them. Alright. 402 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 1: Assholes walk into a bar Barker and says we don't 403 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: serve assholes, and the and the assholes are like bum 404 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: or go for Alvarado. Damn. Yeah that was good. Yet 405 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,399 Speaker 1: you bow down? Yeah? Alright, well I wasn't expecting that. 406 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,200 Speaker 1: Get up, Get up. I'll give you one. I'll give 407 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: you an easy one. No no, oh ship, wait, why 408 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,720 Speaker 1: does that I have a gun? I was gonna shoot 409 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,360 Speaker 1: one of you, but this is just show entertaining night. 410 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,120 Speaker 1: I can't short form. I used to do it a lot, 411 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,200 Speaker 1: but I gave up improvit. My god, I have to 412 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 1: shoot you. Your voice it's just so greating. I have 413 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 1: to shoot you. Yeah, please, don't showed up, show it up, 414 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: Shot up, Michael Vane. Shoot him and just aim for 415 00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:04,879 Speaker 1: the neck. That's why we've improvised this scene, James, because 416 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,880 Speaker 1: this is where improv could lead you. It could lead 417 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:13,720 Speaker 1: you to being assassinated at James Cameron's party. Do you understand? Okay, 418 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 1: you don't need to commit anymore. Isn't a broad seat? 419 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: And that is c number one, Ladies and Jews. You 420 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: suggest a scene involving James Heeney and we will kill him. 421 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,479 Speaker 1: But maybe some scenes don't have to have James. I mean, 422 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe something maybe, So let's see what 423 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 1: this next one brings us. Seemed to come from a 424 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 1: different Joseph who wrote to the Cast of Alchemy. That 425 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: is my name is Joseph. I work as a high 426 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:52,359 Speaker 1: altitude beverage consultant. You know, an aisle donkey, a trolley dolly, 427 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: a cockpit cruiser, or otherwise commonly known as a flight attendant. 428 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:02,639 Speaker 1: Any who You're little show is a welcome relief most days, 429 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,439 Speaker 1: as soon as my duty day is done. Y'all are 430 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 1: the first thing I listened to when I stepped into 431 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,720 Speaker 1: the crew bus on the way to the Layover hotel. 432 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:17,400 Speaker 1: On a recent such trip from Minneapolis, Minnesota to Paris, France. 433 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 1: I boarded the crew bus alongside of my fellow crew 434 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 1: members and popped in my earbuds to listen to the 435 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:29,399 Speaker 1: February six, two thousand twenty, episode titled Taxidermists Hired at 436 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 1: a Zoo. While listening, my earbuds died. The audio then 437 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,600 Speaker 1: began to play loudly from my mobile phone. At that 438 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: exact moment, y'all started making aggressive sexual grunts of the 439 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 1: Benobo monkey. Give us all a moment to remember that bunkey. 440 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 1: As the passionate panting continued, I fumbled for my phone 441 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,960 Speaker 1: before I can turn it off. Vanessa Ragland shouts, and 442 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 1: that one is I get a picture of the other 443 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:07,440 Speaker 1: one doing a circle journey. A red hot, fiery wave 444 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 1: of embarrassment radiated across my body. Needless to say, it 445 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: was a very long and terribly awkward flight back home. 446 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,440 Speaker 1: The first officer still won't make eye contact with me 447 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 1: to this day. My scenes suggestion is as follows. A 448 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: clinically depressed children's birthday clown with a severe latex allergy 449 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,200 Speaker 1: arrives at their gig, which just happens to be the 450 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 1: home of an ex lover. I hope none of you 451 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:42,879 Speaker 1: are ever on my flights. Sincerely, Joseph from Minneapolis, Minnesota. 452 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 1: Mr Cameron, Yes, uh, we just want you to know 453 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: that the party should be going off without a hitch 454 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 1: in any moment. We're just getting everything through. Well, uh, 455 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,680 Speaker 1: what have you heard? Nothing? So just the we're just 456 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 1: a little anything about a hitch. No, no, we're just 457 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,200 Speaker 1: a little delayed with the with with the entertainment, sir, 458 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 1: excuse me? Were you talking to me James Cameron? Oh? Yes, yeah, 459 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 1: I was talking to you, Mr Cameron. I'm okay. I'm 460 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,720 Speaker 1: not sure why that other guy answered. I don't know 461 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,439 Speaker 1: why I talked to him. You know what I look like, right, 462 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: I'm king of the world. Yes, yes, you look nothing 463 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,160 Speaker 1: to say. I was just letting the It doesn't matter. 464 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 1: The entertainment is a little sir. Just oh really, Well, 465 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 1: hey Sarah, it's your manager. Got you a gig? Oh? 466 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, I desperately need it. Okay. Are you familiar 467 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:49,080 Speaker 1: with James Cameron? Uh? Yeah, I am. He's King of 468 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:54,040 Speaker 1: the world. Yeah. See it again, he's King of the 469 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 1: world and he used to be king. Say what he 470 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,480 Speaker 1: used to be? King? My heart? I stalked him after 471 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 1: I saw Titanic when I was thirteen, and five years 472 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: later or so, I met him at a party and 473 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 1: he broke my heart. Well, listen, I guess you're good 474 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:25,480 Speaker 1: news for you. Okay, you're gonna be working a gig 475 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 1: at his house as a clown, so I need you 476 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 1: to turn that frown upside down. Okay, Now, I know 477 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 1: you have some allergies, so I'm I'm gonna leave it 478 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 1: in your hands. Okay. Hey, it pays buck a bruise 479 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 1: an hour, so you're welcome. Well, I desperately need seventy 480 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: five dollars. Yeah, this is minimum three hours. As susan, 481 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to the costume department. Now in front of you 482 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:57,240 Speaker 1: are several items will be using on your gig. First off, 483 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 1: we have a red news Now it might just se 484 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,080 Speaker 1: like a regular nose, but if you press the center, 485 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: it makes a little honk noise. Give to try they 486 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: that is fantastic. Now i'll not over Here, we have 487 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 1: a little rose. It's put on the pel of your 488 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,800 Speaker 1: shirt and inside is a tube. The too will be 489 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,080 Speaker 1: going down to a little pumper in your pocket. If 490 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 1: you press the pumper and there's a bit of water 491 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:25,200 Speaker 1: will come out to give it a gry. And here 492 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 1: we have a pair of shoes too big for one's 493 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 1: feet normally, but inside you see that the straps fit 494 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 1: your feet perfectly. So we'll be able to move smoothly. 495 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 1: Give it a try. Now, this is my favorite piece. 496 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 1: It looks like a normal watch. Actually it's a detonator. 497 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,960 Speaker 1: There's see four all over the place. And if you 498 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,600 Speaker 1: press the time, how about the exact same time, it 499 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 1: will explode. Yes, I just wanted to give you heads 500 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 1: up that maybe you didn't check the listing here, but 501 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,120 Speaker 1: it seems that she has a latex allergy. All of 502 00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:00,080 Speaker 1: these things are well, maybe we should step aside. Come 503 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 1: about this for a moment. Pre I just remember pressing 504 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 1: time an hour at the same time, we'll have the 505 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 1: sea for explode it. Yeah, won't I just explode my 506 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 1: wrist off? Yes? Yes, okay, by feel free to play 507 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 1: with whatever. Yeah, the rubber knows in the in the 508 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 1: splusy flower, those are both latex quality. Those products are 509 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 1: going to give her a bad rash. Don't you understand 510 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 1: that we're putting her risk? Allergies aren't real. Don't you 511 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 1: know that badly? Is it just a figment of imagination? 512 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 1: You know what? We can't prove them completely wrong, and 513 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 1: until they are proven wrong, we should at least, you know, 514 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 1: respect her wishes to not have latex or at least 515 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 1: I have not. I am not jealous. Okay, kids are 516 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:57,520 Speaker 1: just having a good time. Yes, okay, good good who 517 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 1: head cake, raise your hand. No, I'm not doing that 518 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:13,240 Speaker 1: anymore now, it's just me do the guy in the wharf. Okay, listen, listen. 519 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: I know we've been having a lot of fun together. Boys. Okay, 520 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,240 Speaker 1: pick pick any country in the world. I could do 521 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 1: that accent Kentucky. Oh, country in the world. Sorry, kid, 522 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 1: that's a stage my butt all right now, Uh, Chris, 523 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 1: when you did my butt as as an accent, um, 524 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 1: you got pretty offensive. And it was for kids. Hey, 525 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,040 Speaker 1: they asked for it. I know that. But I just 526 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 1: want you to know. Mr Cameron's gonna hear about this, 527 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,600 Speaker 1: and he's gonna be okay, But surely, surely my butt 528 00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: impression is is no worse than what happened with that clown. 529 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,720 Speaker 1: That was a disaster. That was a disaster, and there's 530 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 1: still blood all of the carpets. We know that. We 531 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:14,800 Speaker 1: know that that look for whatever reason, Cameron's ex lover, Look, 532 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:16,480 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not even gonna explain it. I'm 533 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,959 Speaker 1: just gonna show the CCTV footage with video, all right, 534 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: We all remember what happened right, Okay, let's watch, let's 535 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 1: puss it together. Did declare one second? Kids? I'm so 536 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:37,160 Speaker 1: fucking itchy, James. You know what you did to me 537 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 1: and they start swelling up. So what I mean to 538 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 1: do right now? Is there mean to hit time an 539 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:50,200 Speaker 1: hour and there a blow this ship. I'm sorry to it? 540 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 1: Do I know you? What? Oh God? What's please? Don't 541 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:12,520 Speaker 1: do that's the blood bath. I'm from Kentucky. I'll help 542 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 1: you out. Get the funk out of here. Avar Rado, 543 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 1: what take your fifty bucks and leave. Pierre. It seems 544 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,240 Speaker 1: like she must have been allergic to more than just latex. 545 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:31,360 Speaker 1: What happened to her? I don't know. Could you explain 546 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:35,480 Speaker 1: it a little? Her wrist came off. I don't understand 547 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,080 Speaker 1: what happened. We we had the latex warnings, we gave 548 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 1: it to her anyways, but somehow her wrist she must 549 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,839 Speaker 1: have been allergic to. See four. Can I ask how 550 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,120 Speaker 1: you got the job here at the at the wardrobe. 551 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:50,000 Speaker 1: I studied wardrobe, costuming makeup for years. You didn't. You 552 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:53,399 Speaker 1: weren't studying voices at the time. Why would you say 553 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:58,840 Speaker 1: that I'm trying to place your accent um what do 554 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,280 Speaker 1: you suggest we do with the clown who follows apart 555 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,759 Speaker 1: and loses pieces of wardrobe? Well, I think that it 556 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,200 Speaker 1: was Pierre's fault. I think that he didn't do you 557 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,359 Speaker 1: want Pierre's job? Is that what this is about? Yes, 558 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,320 Speaker 1: please give it to me and let me be the 559 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,200 Speaker 1: one to tell him that I'm taking it. Pierre, you've 560 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:20,319 Speaker 1: been listening all along. Well, Mr Bond, James Bond, very 561 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,560 Speaker 1: nice of you to give me this new watch. I 562 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:26,000 Speaker 1: don't understand why you'd give me a gift. Yes, of gosh, 563 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 1: it looks good on you, does it not? It does? 564 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,239 Speaker 1: But we are rivals, enemies, and yet here I have 565 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,360 Speaker 1: a gift from you. Makes me suspicious. I assure you 566 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 1: the gift is one that keeps sewn giving. Mm hmm 567 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:44,480 Speaker 1: you'll soon discover with that range. Wait, that seems dangerous. 568 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 1: How do you ball feel right now? Ting leather light 569 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 1: light particularly particularly? Yeah? It's working. Mm okay, well, then 570 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,279 Speaker 1: I appreciate it. I thought this watch is to blow 571 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,439 Speaker 1: me up, So he just gave you watching your balls 572 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,759 Speaker 1: sort of thick. Yeah, man, it's fucking cool, Like I 573 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,719 Speaker 1: think he and I have really patched things up. You 574 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 1: want to try it? On. Great, yeah, hold on, hold on, 575 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,920 Speaker 1: look at me till you want to try it on, 576 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,919 Speaker 1: you know, try it on at My snakes are sucking 577 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,319 Speaker 1: out of the cage with that fucking snake. You don't 578 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,920 Speaker 1: gotta kill the guy, damn snake and it goes to 579 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,640 Speaker 1: the cage. Don't tell me how to don't tell me 580 00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: how to to care my snakes. Wild man that you 581 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,440 Speaker 1: just killed the snake. Yes, I want to watch it. 582 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:37,719 Speaker 1: Your time is off, time, an hour is off? Oh, 583 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: fix that all right? Yeah, your ball is so good. 584 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,279 Speaker 1: Huh yeah, man, I made that blow up noise and 585 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,879 Speaker 1: then my balls just started feeling thingly. Hell yeah, I'm glad. 586 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 1: I'm glad you and I smoked we together in my garage, man, 587 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,480 Speaker 1: because you know being do you mind if I just 588 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,120 Speaker 1: take this watch around for a little bit, like it 589 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 1: was just a couple of weeks, a couple of months. 590 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,480 Speaker 1: Do whatever you want, dud dude, you want? Thank you, man, 591 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,600 Speaker 1: this is freaking nice. Hey, thanks for not telling anybody 592 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,600 Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a bond villain. I appreciate. What would 593 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,480 Speaker 1: I do that, I don't know. It just seems like 594 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 1: something you might want to say to people. Come on, man, 595 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:16,239 Speaker 1: we smoke weed together. I wouldn't do that ship Hell yeah. Hey, 596 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 1: if you look underneath the watch, you'll see an inscription. Yeah, 597 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,440 Speaker 1: it says, it says where the watch was made. In 598 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:28,640 Speaker 1: a little note, it's just but Kentucky were the maid, 599 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:33,360 Speaker 1: And an obscription says, From Bond to Villain, May we 600 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,399 Speaker 1: always see each other. This is long from the back 601 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,560 Speaker 1: of a guy, from Bond to Villain. Maybe we always 602 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,640 Speaker 1: see each other on the road, no matter bumpy or smooth. 603 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,879 Speaker 1: I like you a lie. You're a good guy, good planning. 604 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,840 Speaker 1: You've always been there for me, even though you know 605 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,240 Speaker 1: we always fight and whatnot. But so he just okay, 606 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: this is just rambling and saying but no matter what, 607 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,080 Speaker 1: you're still my guy. I love you and I want 608 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:59,040 Speaker 1: you to be the father of my child. I know it, dude, 609 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:04,080 Speaker 1: I know. Um. Mr Cameron, Hi, I'm the doctor. Um, 610 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:09,239 Speaker 1: it's she's okay, I'm talking to I'm talking to think 611 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:14,919 Speaker 1: he's talking to me. It's Mr Cameron. So I don't 612 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 1: think she's expecting you. Um, she did blow herself up 613 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,440 Speaker 1: at your child's party. But it's nice of you to 614 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,480 Speaker 1: be here. Yeah. I just hired a clown for Variety's sake, 615 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:27,000 Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado can't do all of my parties. Yeah, tell 616 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,400 Speaker 1: me about it. Well, next time I need to entertain 617 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,359 Speaker 1: some kids, I'm just going to show them director's cut 618 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:36,359 Speaker 1: of the ABYSS. I don't get that. Um. Listen, it's 619 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,400 Speaker 1: usually only families allowed in to the room. But you 620 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 1: are the king of the world, so that's right. Access 621 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:48,120 Speaker 1: to all private hospital rooms. That's right here she is. Hi, 622 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 1: it's me James Cameron. What are you doing here? Ah? 623 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 1: I just came to check in on you. See how 624 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,719 Speaker 1: you are? You blew yourself up at my party with 625 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,880 Speaker 1: a latex wrist watch. Yeah, well I'm not even successful 626 00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:11,960 Speaker 1: at that. Well you're going to live. You're your wrist 627 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 1: is badly damaged. Yeah, they say your wrist is not 628 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,200 Speaker 1: gonna work. Your hand is fine, the rest of your 629 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 1: arm is fine. You will have no wrist. It's a 630 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 1: tiny explosion. It's literally held on by wires. Look, the 631 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:33,800 Speaker 1: kids were horrified, but I think they grew up today. James, 632 00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:38,239 Speaker 1: Can we say what's really going on here? You were 633 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,480 Speaker 1: a sixty five year old man who started dating an 634 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:45,919 Speaker 1: eighteen year old in secret, and I can't I can't 635 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,520 Speaker 1: make that book noise anymore. I'm gonna leave it to 636 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:55,760 Speaker 1: another room. Yeah, okay, thanks, thank you broke my heart, James, 637 00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:02,560 Speaker 1: I loved you. I'm sorry. It was that your flower. No, 638 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,480 Speaker 1: it was my butt. Um, you need to see a 639 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:13,720 Speaker 1: straw doctor. Look, we had some we had some good times, 640 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:19,040 Speaker 1: didn't we. Yes, I loved you. Of course we had 641 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,759 Speaker 1: good times. You're you're the love of my life. And 642 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:27,400 Speaker 1: then you just went on and on about making the 643 00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:32,440 Speaker 1: Third Avatar. It's it's too expensive, James. It's gonna come 644 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:37,680 Speaker 1: out someday, it is. Yeah, maybe in twenty five years, 645 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,879 Speaker 1: but you'll be dead by then. No. No, I'm I'm 646 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 1: paying a guy to keep me alive, whether it's just 647 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,560 Speaker 1: head or brain or thought waves. I'm going to stay 648 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:52,799 Speaker 1: alive in some form for eternity. I'm gonna live under 649 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:59,920 Speaker 1: the sea. Sorry, I keep partying. Um, I just well, 650 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,840 Speaker 1: I didn't realize you had fallen on hard time, so 651 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 1: you had to do birthday clown work, the most humiliating, 652 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:11,520 Speaker 1: humiliating work in our show business. Yeah, it's really really embarrassing. 653 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,120 Speaker 1: And I needed that seventy to keep my lights on. 654 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:22,600 Speaker 1: So already check the charity for you, James. No, No, 655 00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 1: you earned it. Three hours of work. I blew myself 656 00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:31,120 Speaker 1: up the first twenty minutes I was there. Listen, I'm 657 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,200 Speaker 1: going to get out of here with my weird wire wrist, 658 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:40,040 Speaker 1: and I'm you're in intensive care. You can. I'm gonna 659 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:45,800 Speaker 1: make Avatar three. That's right, you're going to make before 660 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 1: you can make it? Well, good luck with that. I 661 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:51,520 Speaker 1: just left the room for a second. I don't know 662 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,239 Speaker 1: where the hell she went. I just couldn't make that 663 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:58,120 Speaker 1: noise anymore. I just had to leave. You were you 664 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:03,120 Speaker 1: take this? You take this? If you think that the 665 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,759 Speaker 1: day we walked in here we became doctors, you're you're 666 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:08,960 Speaker 1: a lot of people, and sometimes if you can't have 667 00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:12,000 Speaker 1: the stamina to boop a long long time, then how 668 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:15,399 Speaker 1: are you supposed to be in a twelve hour surgery? Well? 669 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 1: What do you mean when you think we came in 670 00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 1: here were doctors? Uh? Luke? Have you ever stopped booping 671 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,319 Speaker 1: because you were too tired to keep bhooping in a room? Oh? 672 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,400 Speaker 1: Hell no? No, if you wouldn't have been a doctor 673 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,680 Speaker 1: if you did, would you? Right? I mean you learned 674 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,480 Speaker 1: that in your residency. Have you walked out of that room? 675 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,719 Speaker 1: That was you forfeiting your job? Here, so you will 676 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:44,320 Speaker 1: never be a doctor at this hospital, or or you 677 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:48,360 Speaker 1: find that woman and you bring her back into intensive care. No, No, 678 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,760 Speaker 1: you're right, I shouldn't work here. I should I shouldn't 679 00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,359 Speaker 1: work here. Well, but if you could find her back, 680 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,520 Speaker 1: you might have another turn. Otherwise we're gonna have to 681 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,759 Speaker 1: look for her. And we're doctors, so we kind of 682 00:42:57,800 --> 00:42:59,920 Speaker 1: have to do doctoring. I get that, but I just 683 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,040 Speaker 1: got fired and I just got a lot in my head. 684 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:06,280 Speaker 1: So excuse, I'm sorry, you too looking for a patient somewhere? 685 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,680 Speaker 1: And can I ask why you are dressed like doctors? Oh, 686 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:12,120 Speaker 1: I'm a doctor. Well, I'm a doctor, right, I'm the 687 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,520 Speaker 1: head administrator here at the hospital. I don't recognize any 688 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:19,520 Speaker 1: of you. Um, well, did you want to smell it 689 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:25,920 Speaker 1: you're doing? And sketches? That's a snake. That's right, and 690 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,080 Speaker 1: I will kill it right in front of you. Okay, Luke, 691 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:34,839 Speaker 1: don't do it. He's clearly a doctor. About the YouTube clowns, Well, 692 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,080 Speaker 1: I'm a doctor. I usually you might not notice my 693 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,200 Speaker 1: face because I usually have a little mask on it. 694 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,239 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. So that while the rest of us went 695 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,520 Speaker 1: to medical school, you just had to say the words 696 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:47,200 Speaker 1: I'm a doctor. Oh please, I spent my time in 697 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,680 Speaker 1: the room pooping as long as another doctor would have. 698 00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,880 Speaker 1: Can you do that? Of course I could. I mean 699 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,439 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna don't put right now? Well seven, your 700 00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:01,680 Speaker 1: your ex lover and number one villain has struck again. 701 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:06,280 Speaker 1: Apparently he's disguised himself as a doctor at a hospital 702 00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:13,080 Speaker 1: and is hiring men to make boop noises. There is 703 00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:17,480 Speaker 1: there no enders, madness. Double look at the new technologies 704 00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:22,359 Speaker 1: we have here at the table. What is this pinky ring? 705 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,920 Speaker 1: Tiny cock ring? Is it a tiny cor Yes, it 706 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:29,760 Speaker 1: is exactly so, with a thin and small enough piny 707 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,200 Speaker 1: you'll slip this ring on it. Make sure the ring 708 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,359 Speaker 1: heats the sunlight, and you'll see a nice little hoarse. 709 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:41,239 Speaker 1: It's like a little image to me that just wants 710 00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:42,799 Speaker 1: you to see. And I look at this, now, look 711 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,759 Speaker 1: at it. We have two sets of shoes, one brown, 712 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,400 Speaker 1: one black. Which one do you like? Get back to 713 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:50,080 Speaker 1: the ring where there's my pinky. No, no, no, no, 714 00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:56,160 Speaker 1: I have to be slipped on your thin pepe. You 715 00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:59,160 Speaker 1: say that were such a shut and Q you've jumped 716 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,080 Speaker 1: the gun a little bit. Will'll normally go to your 717 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:04,799 Speaker 1: lab after I have this meeting with him. You really 718 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,640 Speaker 1: couldn't resist showing the newest technology. I couldn't wait. I 719 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:13,080 Speaker 1: couldn't wait that you felt it all in your case. Yes, 720 00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,840 Speaker 1: it's the slipping them all I'd find. The concring goes on. 721 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:23,840 Speaker 1: I need to make it smaller. I'll be back, And 722 00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:33,680 Speaker 1: that seemed to come from patriot Bi p Zach, who wrote, 723 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,800 Speaker 1: good morning, Alchemist. I've ripped a couple of times before, 724 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,960 Speaker 1: and you recently uploaded a three sixty video for your 725 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:46,240 Speaker 1: Patreon supporters of my first email suggestion. It was exceptionally 726 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:50,040 Speaker 1: satisfying to watch the Alchemists react to my shitty life 727 00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:56,480 Speaker 1: details and PostScript for clarification, we jumped to those details. 728 00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,480 Speaker 1: P s. I am the guy who was living in England, 729 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,040 Speaker 1: the land of perpetual drizzle, in darkness, raising twin boys 730 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,359 Speaker 1: alone when my wife left me for another guy, all 731 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,640 Speaker 1: the while dealing with my wonderful father's slow slide into 732 00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,359 Speaker 1: the grave. But I said, it's funnier the first time 733 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,839 Speaker 1: I swear. Now back to his kind of current letter, 734 00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:17,960 Speaker 1: I wanted to reach out and tell you guys that 735 00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,840 Speaker 1: I'm finally back in the United States, living in New Mexico, 736 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,399 Speaker 1: which is where I had always wanted to live. Oh 737 00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,640 Speaker 1: and my children are adjusting well to being able to 738 00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:32,080 Speaker 1: go outside without layering up in the waterproof misery. Things 739 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,319 Speaker 1: are still difficult, but being here is certainly helping. As 740 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:39,480 Speaker 1: for my scene recommendation, the illustrious Mr Heeney oh No 741 00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:45,600 Speaker 1: recently unveiled a wonderful skill at doing a demonic voice 742 00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,560 Speaker 1: because he says it doesn't hurt his throat. I would 743 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:52,440 Speaker 1: like to hear James s. Satan, being Hell's manager, fielding 744 00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:56,759 Speaker 1: complaints from his demon employees and perhaps even some of 745 00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:00,360 Speaker 1: the damned. As I said before, I am proud to 746 00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:03,360 Speaker 1: be a Patroon supporter. I love this show. I almost 747 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,480 Speaker 1: feel like you all are friends of mine in the 748 00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:10,480 Speaker 1: least creepy possible way with a complete stranger that can 749 00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:14,440 Speaker 1: be thank you all for doing what you do. From 750 00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:20,680 Speaker 1: New Mexico. Would love Zach A thank you Zach oh right? 751 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:25,759 Speaker 1: Are there really any there any fan mail for me today? Yes, sir, 752 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,200 Speaker 1: just there's very large stack. But I brought in three. 753 00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna start with the second one. Okay. That's good, 754 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:37,040 Speaker 1: Dear Satan. While it's a pleasure of working for you, 755 00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:42,440 Speaker 1: I feel that the hours are not long enough. Not 756 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:49,520 Speaker 1: long enough, sincerely, Joey Grip. Oh my gosh, not long enough. 757 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,840 Speaker 1: There's only twenty four hours in a day. What do 758 00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:56,560 Speaker 1: you want me to do? Bring Joey career to me? Okay, 759 00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:04,040 Speaker 1: one second, when we just tucked that in Andy, well, 760 00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:16,160 Speaker 1: well well, oh hell jewish. I just read your complaint 761 00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:22,560 Speaker 1: that you don't work long enough. Huh what that I 762 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,280 Speaker 1: don't work No, my my family. I wrote a family 763 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,880 Speaker 1: or to you. Yeah, but it said that the hours 764 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:34,680 Speaker 1: were not walking enough. Yeah, I wish there were more hours. Okay, 765 00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,920 Speaker 1: well that that just stopped taking time off and just 766 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,719 Speaker 1: continue to work past the clock. No, no, no, no, no, no, 767 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,680 Speaker 1: not no. What the are you talking about saying? I'm 768 00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,560 Speaker 1: saying that I wish there were more hours in the 769 00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:51,680 Speaker 1: fucking day? Saying name Mr Greer, If you wouldn't mind 770 00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:56,360 Speaker 1: bowing and not talking to sading like that, I like that. 771 00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,440 Speaker 1: Say listen, I'm what I'm saying is I wish there 772 00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:03,200 Speaker 1: was more hours in the day. You can do that. Look, 773 00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:04,440 Speaker 1: I bow to you. I pray you do. How many 774 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,440 Speaker 1: sacrifices do I make to you? Huh? Can't you make 775 00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,759 Speaker 1: your days a little longer? All right? How many hours extra. 776 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:15,839 Speaker 1: Do you want let's do two more hours, two every 777 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,680 Speaker 1: day of the week, two extra hours. Yeah. I think 778 00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:20,640 Speaker 1: that's just enough to throw everything into this ship. Right, 779 00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:23,800 Speaker 1: all right, million, Could you give me two of my 780 00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:28,480 Speaker 1: imps by my side right away? Yes? Of course. Can 781 00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,040 Speaker 1: you get this straightened out right away? Joey, you got 782 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,759 Speaker 1: a really nice place? Well, thank you, it's a it's 783 00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:37,279 Speaker 1: a hell of a place. Yes, Satans are requested. MS 784 00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:42,479 Speaker 1: could have some volunteers, there's one. I need one more place? Sure? 785 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:49,239 Speaker 1: Can they give me a little a little more in 786 00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:53,279 Speaker 1: Oh you're great, ump too? And can I get a 787 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:57,200 Speaker 1: little more damp m. Yeah? This is Satan though, right, 788 00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:07,000 Speaker 1: so all powerful amp let's let's go with that then, okay, 789 00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:14,239 Speaker 1: right this one Satan, your two imps? Yes, yes, very 790 00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:24,200 Speaker 1: and hell Satan. Are you fucking joking me here? No? No, no, 791 00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:29,200 Speaker 1: are you joking me? And you're fine? But you number two? 792 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:39,360 Speaker 1: I need more bazzazz hell Satan, Satan, Satan. Excuse me? 793 00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:46,000 Speaker 1: But are you bored with your job? Yes, sire, Well 794 00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:50,080 Speaker 1: what do you really want to be doing? I want 795 00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:53,000 Speaker 1: to go to the scariest place in all the galaxy. 796 00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,640 Speaker 1: I want to go this is hell to New Mexico, 797 00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:02,440 Speaker 1: New Mexico. That's where the real terror lize. All right, 798 00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:04,880 Speaker 1: well this is what I need. I need you to 799 00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:10,239 Speaker 1: slow the Earth's rotation just a little so that it's 800 00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:13,600 Speaker 1: two hours longer. You could probably do that from New 801 00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:18,920 Speaker 1: Mexico up number one to New Mexico with him number two. 802 00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:26,799 Speaker 1: I loved Joey. Will you please oversee? Yes, I mean 803 00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,560 Speaker 1: pretty much the old farmer here is just just sand, 804 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,320 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? But if you depending on 805 00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,000 Speaker 1: how much water you get on it, I mean, you 806 00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:35,359 Speaker 1: could grow and do you could grow almost anything here, man. 807 00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:38,879 Speaker 1: I mean it's not it's not too bad. But yeah, 808 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:45,440 Speaker 1: and what does what does alberqu mean to you? I'm 809 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:50,200 Speaker 1: a kurge to me means uh shit, I can be honest, 810 00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:52,880 Speaker 1: but now I'm just messing. They got they got some 811 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,360 Speaker 1: good bars. Now they got some good bars and whatnot. 812 00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,560 Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, you're what thirty minutes outside of 813 00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:00,920 Speaker 1: a querque, you know, so you can just pop in 814 00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:03,280 Speaker 1: there whenever the hell you want. You know, there's a costco. 815 00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:11,919 Speaker 1: But do you worship? Yeah? Do you worship? Oh yeah? 816 00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:17,960 Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah. Everyone out here we're going saying very well, 817 00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:20,960 Speaker 1: very well, yeah, so are you looking to buy the 818 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,960 Speaker 1: property or yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, by the property. By 819 00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:29,040 Speaker 1: the way, my friend here is single. All right, okay, 820 00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:31,799 Speaker 1: holy sh it, all right, uh yeah, I'm fine, I'm good. 821 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,840 Speaker 1: Uh your friends that seems to uh, I don't know, 822 00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:36,880 Speaker 1: there's something underneath your friends skin that seems to be 823 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:42,720 Speaker 1: moving alright. As you can see, my tongue is forked 824 00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:46,719 Speaker 1: to nick you with my idea. All right, So what 825 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,200 Speaker 1: I wanna do is I'm just gonna leave the keys 826 00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,279 Speaker 1: here in the dirt and keep my distance from y'all. 827 00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,200 Speaker 1: And then I'm just gonna go back to my drug 828 00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,640 Speaker 1: and get the hell out. But feel free to call me, 829 00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,960 Speaker 1: uh if you need something or whatnot. Numbers are in 830 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,880 Speaker 1: the friends all right, okay, m two, I'm sorry that 831 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:05,960 Speaker 1: didn't go as planned. Maybe perhaps perhaps we can find 832 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,640 Speaker 1: you a lover here in New Mexico, the darkest place 833 00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:12,600 Speaker 1: on in all the galaxy, I don't know. The sky 834 00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:16,720 Speaker 1: looks pretty wide open, and the Sandy Mountains turned pink 835 00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:22,880 Speaker 1: at sunset, which is why they're called sandy as m hm. Anyway, 836 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:28,200 Speaker 1: let's start digging. Hey, I noticed you, uh sitting alone? 837 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:40,759 Speaker 1: You might if I join you? Yeah? Sure, what's up? Um? Yeah, 838 00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:43,480 Speaker 1: I just uh, I just wanted to say, how's it 839 00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:52,000 Speaker 1: going good? Yeah? Yeah, enjoying your social distancing? Well not 840 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,439 Speaker 1: very much. That's why I'm sitting two feet from you. Yeah, 841 00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,279 Speaker 1: I was gonna ask if you could make it six 842 00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,239 Speaker 1: six Okay, well, they seems to be the standard. You 843 00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,840 Speaker 1: know what, before you move, let's be let's be crazy, 844 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:11,520 Speaker 1: let's be nuts, let's be too completely insane individuals who 845 00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,879 Speaker 1: sit two feet from each other. Let's see what that brings. 846 00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:19,000 Speaker 1: All right, anybody you know but infected? Yeah, yeah, several? Okay, 847 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:25,880 Speaker 1: let me just move over. Yeah, but I'm asymptomatic. So hey, fellas, 848 00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:29,399 Speaker 1: you need a drink? You guys doing okay? Over here? Yeah, 849 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:33,520 Speaker 1: I'll take a I'll take a margarite on the rock. 850 00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,680 Speaker 1: Salt sounds good. And hey, just a little f y. 851 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,640 Speaker 1: I don't know if you heard among all the news. 852 00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:48,040 Speaker 1: We have two extra hours today, so alright, quick question. Uh, 853 00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,120 Speaker 1: I know you're a liquor store. I didn't realize you 854 00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:53,600 Speaker 1: could also make drinks. Is that? Well? And this time 855 00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,960 Speaker 1: it's like I'll do whatever. I can make make up 856 00:54:56,040 --> 00:55:00,600 Speaker 1: books right on. And you were just sitting here anyway, right, yep, Well, 857 00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:03,080 Speaker 1: people don't typically sit in liquor stores. But you're doing that. 858 00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,839 Speaker 1: I'm doing this. Look at us. We're going crazy. That's 859 00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:07,759 Speaker 1: a whole idea. I like it. Can I get a 860 00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:12,759 Speaker 1: like a sandwich too? Sure? Sure? Hey? Happy? Uh happy 861 00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,560 Speaker 1: two hours extra long day. I'll take a sandwich as 862 00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:17,680 Speaker 1: well if you're If you're making them, you got it. 863 00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:22,360 Speaker 1: I only make one sandwich though, Okay, I wasn't going 864 00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,239 Speaker 1: to specify what I wanted. Whatever. Whatever you can make 865 00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:29,279 Speaker 1: is fine by me. What are you gonna do with 866 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:35,520 Speaker 1: your actually two hours? Mm hmm, probably worship? Oh do 867 00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:40,040 Speaker 1: you go somewhere for that? Oh? I do into a dark, 868 00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:44,319 Speaker 1: dark place. Nice? Tell me more about the dark place. Well, 869 00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,359 Speaker 1: I call him Satan. You can call him whenever you want, 870 00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:51,279 Speaker 1: the dark divine your choice. You're you're kidding, right? Oh no, No, 871 00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,120 Speaker 1: he's the reason why we have the two extra hours. 872 00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:56,160 Speaker 1: He's the reason why everything is the way it is. 873 00:55:56,320 --> 00:56:01,200 Speaker 1: And I like it. The virus he's doing. Yeah you 874 00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:05,200 Speaker 1: called the virus, we call it the blessing. M m m. 875 00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,080 Speaker 1: Here you are here. Here's your sandwiches. Well it's a 876 00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:12,759 Speaker 1: big one. Yeah, you want to split one? He made 877 00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,879 Speaker 1: one for each of us, So yeah, I said, save 878 00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:19,239 Speaker 1: half of it for later. I think, yeah, well that's intriguing. 879 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:23,400 Speaker 1: I I just might start worshiping Satan. Thank you. I mean, 880 00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:26,120 Speaker 1: let's be honest, what are you doing anyway? What are you? 881 00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:29,480 Speaker 1: What are you taking longer walks? Now you're doing some 882 00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:33,400 Speaker 1: some online yoga. What are the benefits from joining this 883 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:36,120 Speaker 1: Satan thing? First of all, I got a whole new, 884 00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:38,320 Speaker 1: whole new lease on life. I mean, look at me. 885 00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,399 Speaker 1: I'm making I'm making sandwiches, I'm making drinks. Here, I'm 886 00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:45,160 Speaker 1: doing It's It's opens up a world of possibilities. And 887 00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:50,880 Speaker 1: also it really really validates that darkness we all feel anyway, 888 00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:54,480 Speaker 1: why are we trying to Yeah, why are we trying 889 00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:56,640 Speaker 1: to get rid of that darkness? What can you do 890 00:56:56,719 --> 00:57:00,360 Speaker 1: about penis size? Mine's real thin? Hey? How were you? 891 00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:03,239 Speaker 1: I'd pray pray to him tonight if you can have 892 00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,400 Speaker 1: a conversation with him, because I was like a pinky 893 00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,839 Speaker 1: ring just keeps sliding off. So the length is good. 894 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:12,839 Speaker 1: You're just worried about the circumference exactly. Yeah, yeah, still 895 00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:16,439 Speaker 1: the big swelling, sweaty balls. But like a pencil number 896 00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:22,040 Speaker 1: two pence, my circumference is good. Length, no good, no good, huh. 897 00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:25,320 Speaker 1: It was like my my wife calls it my stirs stick. 898 00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:30,000 Speaker 1: But now do most people who who worship Satan doing 899 00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:35,640 Speaker 1: exchange for for for penis size or that's I think 900 00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,560 Speaker 1: that's an option. I think I think you need to 901 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:42,240 Speaker 1: take it up with him now I do, uh, nightly sacrifices. Sorry, 902 00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:44,520 Speaker 1: there's an option to take it up with him. You 903 00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:48,640 Speaker 1: meant communicate to with him. Here, close your eyes right 904 00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:55,720 Speaker 1: now after me. Okay, okay, sweet sweet Satan, Sweet sweet Satan. 905 00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:59,200 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna watch this sure, see how it turns 906 00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:02,560 Speaker 1: up the darkness of my life, the darkness of my life. 907 00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:07,280 Speaker 1: With my eyes closed, with my eyes closed, may you 908 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:12,880 Speaker 1: give me sight? May you give me sight? And here? 909 00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:18,480 Speaker 1: Holy shit, Jesus, No, no, no, no, jess, my mistake. 910 00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:22,280 Speaker 1: I did not mean I thought you were Do you 911 00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:26,760 Speaker 1: think you are? Well? No, No, that was just a 912 00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:32,280 Speaker 1: term of it's not important. Uh, Satan, Sir, I can't 913 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:36,160 Speaker 1: believe this is happening. I have so many questions. Give 914 00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:39,680 Speaker 1: me the second. Were you and God really close at 915 00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:43,000 Speaker 1: one point? At one point? Yeah, we were like tennis partners. 916 00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:49,640 Speaker 1: You played doubles, We played doubles against would you play against? 917 00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:52,760 Speaker 1: You know? We would just play against anybody that was 918 00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:55,760 Speaker 1: willing to take a chance it. But they never went. Oh, 919 00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:59,680 Speaker 1: I see, So what do you need from me? I'm busy. 920 00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:03,320 Speaker 1: What was the falling out? Was it tennis related? No? 921 00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:06,080 Speaker 1: I had nothing to do with tennis. Okay, fair enough. 922 00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:11,960 Speaker 1: Uh into torture and damnation. He's just not into that stuff. 923 00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:15,120 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna take my sandwich and go. Uh. You 924 00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,760 Speaker 1: didn't need anything, No, No, I think I'm good boy. 925 00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:24,000 Speaker 1: I'm really glad that I didn't repeat after that Satanic prayer. Okay, 926 00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:28,800 Speaker 1: So best of luck, though that sounds intriguing all everything 927 00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:32,040 Speaker 1: you're doing. All right, Yeah, it's I appreciate that, but 928 00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,280 Speaker 1: you can go. All right, take care that it was 929 00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:36,560 Speaker 1: so cool. I wish you would have stayed. But I 930 00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,439 Speaker 1: do have questions for you, saying, like example, there's certain 931 00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:42,400 Speaker 1: people answer questions. I'm here to grant wishes, take souls 932 00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:46,560 Speaker 1: and sacrifices. Okay, then I'll use my prought to me today. 933 00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,120 Speaker 1: I used my wish as sort of this guy he's 934 00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:57,160 Speaker 1: he's he's got he's got a penis. Questions shire, Okay, questions, 935 00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:00,640 Speaker 1: not a question. It's not a question, sir um. But 936 01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:06,640 Speaker 1: I would like to incorporate into my wish a an enlightened, 937 01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:11,160 Speaker 1: a desire for enlightenment. So while I would like to 938 01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:16,720 Speaker 1: no longer have a pencil thin cock, um, when someone 939 01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:19,960 Speaker 1: succeeds beyond their actual talent, Like, let's just say, I 940 01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:24,720 Speaker 1: don't know Scott Bayo, Um is it? You know? I 941 01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:28,360 Speaker 1: always would joke this guy's clearly using Satan's cock as 942 01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:30,600 Speaker 1: a salt lick, you know what I mean, just as 943 01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:34,120 Speaker 1: like a joke joke. Um, but does that happen? I 944 01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:38,200 Speaker 1: mean when people do better than get better stuff, when 945 01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:40,480 Speaker 1: you use me as a salt like, but you don't 946 01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:43,320 Speaker 1: have to. You can do sacrifices and be a liquor 947 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:48,960 Speaker 1: store clerk. Oh wow, So these appointed positions that you make, 948 01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:52,040 Speaker 1: it's oh well, it's it's really up to you. It's 949 01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,600 Speaker 1: kind of like, what are you willing to give? I'm 950 01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:58,640 Speaker 1: willing to give anything for this normal looking cock. So 951 01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:04,840 Speaker 1: what you you tell me? Well, that's a pretty easy request. 952 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:09,520 Speaker 1: So I guess maybe sharing your HBO password. I don't 953 01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,880 Speaker 1: know what you got to give, or so one option 954 01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:16,040 Speaker 1: soul otherwise you tell me? So wait a second, between 955 01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:19,720 Speaker 1: HBO password and my soul? What what do you got 956 01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:23,240 Speaker 1: I mean I have both of those for a dick. 957 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:29,120 Speaker 1: I mean I'm not ill, Papa, I Papa. There's a 958 01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:32,440 Speaker 1: news that the Satan has a come back to Earth, 959 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:39,760 Speaker 1: the setting has a come back. Oh no, and here 960 01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:45,640 Speaker 1: is a taking to everyone's HBO go password. Well, we've 961 01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,160 Speaker 1: got to speak to our people and to make sure 962 01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,600 Speaker 1: they do not give that password out and no matter what, 963 01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:58,360 Speaker 1: no matter what. Okay, So do you say you want 964 01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:02,040 Speaker 1: me to text people? Lord, you want to go out 965 01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:05,520 Speaker 1: to the basilica and tell preeople? Or do you want 966 01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:11,840 Speaker 1: to do a live stream and tell the people? Oh? No, 967 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:14,520 Speaker 1: you go, you go. Well, I was gonna ask if 968 01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,760 Speaker 1: you're on a text thread with all a one billion Catholics. 969 01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:24,800 Speaker 1: I am, but that the text charge so much, so 970 01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:28,640 Speaker 1: much because you're going in different zones. Yes, I see. 971 01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:33,120 Speaker 1: Then some people that have a degree. You know. I 972 01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:39,320 Speaker 1: I have brought you your lunch is a Paparelli, a spaghetti, 973 01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:53,000 Speaker 1: a regattoni, alasania angels, hair SPERELLI regattoni, a spimoni. Oh 974 01:02:53,160 --> 01:03:02,919 Speaker 1: the simone to finish regatodis that Japanese pasta that's gonna 975 01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:07,720 Speaker 1: be seen three on our show for today. Oh man, 976 01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:10,760 Speaker 1: um I want to thank all of our alchemists, starting 977 01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:14,560 Speaker 1: with Jessica Low. Thank you for joining us once again. 978 01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:18,320 Speaker 1: Love having you here. Thank you so much. Please follow 979 01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:24,080 Speaker 1: Sonny is a Good Boy on Instagram Sonny is a 980 01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:27,480 Speaker 1: Good Boy. That's s O N N y. Yes, Sonny 981 01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:29,720 Speaker 1: is a good is a good boy. Check that out 982 01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:33,360 Speaker 1: For all the progress reports, I look forward to each 983 01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:35,320 Speaker 1: and every damn one of them. Craig Atkowski, thank you 984 01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,360 Speaker 1: so much, buddy, Thank you, Hail Satan, Thank you, my 985 01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,320 Speaker 1: Lord for all of the work that you've done for 986 01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:44,200 Speaker 1: me in my career. The bargain worked out perfectly. And 987 01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:47,479 Speaker 1: uh go to west Side Comedy dot com for live 988 01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:52,120 Speaker 1: streaming shows and classes. Uh and just to support a 989 01:03:52,600 --> 01:03:56,200 Speaker 1: support the arts during this challenging time. Thank you so 990 01:03:56,320 --> 01:04:00,280 Speaker 1: much for that. James Heeney, h well for of all, 991 01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:02,720 Speaker 1: thanks for having me. The voice was a little harder 992 01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,560 Speaker 1: to do at length. My hit hurt a little. Just 993 01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:08,200 Speaker 1: to follow up on what Craig was saying, though, if 994 01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:11,240 Speaker 1: you want to watch the west Side Comedy shows, you're 995 01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:15,040 Speaker 1: gonna go to Twitch and search for west Side Comedy Theater. 996 01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:17,600 Speaker 1: That's where they're going to be live at. That's the 997 01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:19,600 Speaker 1: easiest way to find them, and as far as I know, 998 01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:24,400 Speaker 1: it's every day at seven pm with uh there might 999 01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:26,800 Speaker 1: be some exceptions, but that's the day, that's the time. 1000 01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:31,200 Speaker 1: In fact, Twitch dot com Slash, it's actually Twitch dot 1001 01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:34,680 Speaker 1: tv Forward Slash west Side Comedy and I think it's 1002 01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:36,640 Speaker 1: West Side Comedy Theater, but it might just be West 1003 01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:39,880 Speaker 1: Side Comedy. We'll get you the information folks next time, 1004 01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:43,240 Speaker 1: a little more sucinct. But I love the the awareness 1005 01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:48,680 Speaker 1: and sharing event, James, thank you. Chris Alvarado, Yeah, thanks 1006 01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:50,720 Speaker 1: so much. I I like the idea of talking about 1007 01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:53,800 Speaker 1: the West Side Comedy Theater Twitch because a lot of 1008 01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:56,600 Speaker 1: our listeners don't get to see us often and this 1009 01:04:56,680 --> 01:04:58,520 Speaker 1: is a great opportunity to be able to just tune 1010 01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:00,040 Speaker 1: in and see what some of your favorite Alcolm this 1011 01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,280 Speaker 1: her up to and Joey you know what I mean. 1012 01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:07,000 Speaker 1: It's just kind of nice. Um. And also just thanks 1013 01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:09,440 Speaker 1: for everybody who's listening. We're all we're doing this remotely. 1014 01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:11,040 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's said often. I'm sure it is, 1015 01:05:11,120 --> 01:05:13,240 Speaker 1: but just this is we're having fun doing this and 1016 01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:16,240 Speaker 1: we hope it's bringing you a little laughter. Thank you 1017 01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:21,080 Speaker 1: for that, buddy, Joey Greer. Also Hell Satan uh and 1018 01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:23,880 Speaker 1: check out I want to be doing live streams on 1019 01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,200 Speaker 1: Alchemy this so we'll keep you posted on that. So 1020 01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:29,800 Speaker 1: get on the instagram, uh to see some Instagram lives. 1021 01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:33,360 Speaker 1: We'll get on their answer question to do some stupid ship. Yeah, 1022 01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:35,720 Speaker 1: I imagine there's a way to do a way. It's 1023 01:05:35,720 --> 01:05:37,240 Speaker 1: gotta be a way to do it. One of our 1024 01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:40,479 Speaker 1: monthly cast hangs we we missed a month month month 1025 01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:45,040 Speaker 1: of March. Um, I'm gonna chalk it up to uh, 1026 01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:49,000 Speaker 1: the world order, but take responsibility as well, and like others, 1027 01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:51,040 Speaker 1: you know what, just really quick if somebody asked about 1028 01:05:51,040 --> 01:05:53,320 Speaker 1: that in the in the reddit. In the subreddit, they said, 1029 01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:56,120 Speaker 1: will the monthly hangout still be happening? So I'm glad 1030 01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,440 Speaker 1: you brought that up. Yeah, I felt like this was 1031 01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:01,680 Speaker 1: a bit of a doing for all of us to 1032 01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:04,120 Speaker 1: get together for this and figure out the mechanics of it, 1033 01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:05,960 Speaker 1: and as we get a little more comfortable with it. 1034 01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:10,080 Speaker 1: I did notice that on this zoom app down at 1035 01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:12,720 Speaker 1: the bottom, there is an option to record Is that 1036 01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:16,800 Speaker 1: what I think it is? Joey? Okay, So it looks 1037 01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:20,960 Speaker 1: like I'll wrangle some peeps in the next week or so. Separately, 1038 01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:23,560 Speaker 1: from our Wednesday recording sessions and see who can just 1039 01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:28,880 Speaker 1: hang for a little bit to specifically answer your questions live? 1040 01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:33,160 Speaker 1: Is there a live chat? Honestly, I'm recording this right 1041 01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,720 Speaker 1: now on my computer in the same button I used 1042 01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,800 Speaker 1: to click to record. If I just go half an 1043 01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:40,200 Speaker 1: inch down would stream it live, So there would be 1044 01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:43,760 Speaker 1: no difference from this experience to making it live. Okay, 1045 01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:46,000 Speaker 1: we just figured out within that conversation, and I thank 1046 01:06:46,040 --> 01:06:48,120 Speaker 1: you all for listening. I want to thank Doug Bam 1047 01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:53,040 Speaker 1: for our executive wonder producer and engineer who's helped so 1048 01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:57,800 Speaker 1: very very much, also trying to smooth out the the 1049 01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:01,160 Speaker 1: the post production of this process. So bear with us 1050 01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:02,920 Speaker 1: and thank you all very much for hanging in there. 1051 01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:05,720 Speaker 1: If we're doing anything you like, please let us know 1052 01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:08,360 Speaker 1: with a review and also write to us at your 1053 01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,280 Speaker 1: name here at alchemy just dot com. That's your name 1054 01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:12,919 Speaker 1: here at alcomy just dot com. I'm Kevin Poulic. Until 1055 01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:16,080 Speaker 1: next time, and as always, Alchemy BA