1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which is your favorite holiday? It is 3 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: my favorite holiday. What makes it your favorite holiday? What 4 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: makes it my favorite holiday? Well, it's actually kind of, 5 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: um a sad thing. But as a kid, um, when 6 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: my parents got divorced, well even even like when my 7 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: parents were together, it was always Christmas was just crazy. 8 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: We were had to go to like so many different families, 9 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,919 Speaker 1: and then when my parents got divorced, it was one 10 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: side of the family was never happy, so no matter 11 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: how long we stayed there or didn't spend time, so 12 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: it just became like pressure and I didn't like having 13 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: to be I don't know, I just was I wish 14 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: like our family got up together at the same time 15 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: time and we were together, and but not having to 16 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: go to this house in this house because my parents 17 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,040 Speaker 1: are divorced, and so that always just put a little 18 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 1: damper of Christmas. But with Thanksgiving, even when my parents 19 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: got divorced, Thanksgiving was always my aunt Susie's house and 20 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: that never changed. And I just, I don't know, I 21 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,320 Speaker 1: just I love Thanksgiving because it was so much fun. 22 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 1: It was my aunt and uncles and my grandpa and 23 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: my grandpa makes the best stuffing of all time, which 24 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: I am now pressured to make. Well. We almost last 25 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: second decided to just go to Michigan because I'm like, 26 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 1: my grandpa's getting my grandma Grandpa both getting so old, 27 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: and it's a stuffing and my Grandma's pumpkin pie for you. 28 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: But then I realized, Okay, God forbid, we have something 29 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: that we catch on the plane and we give to them. 30 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: So I hope they're around next year that we can 31 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: and this will all be we'll all be vaccinated or 32 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: whatever and we can go to um, you know, to 33 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: have Thanksgiving with them again. But I don't know. Thanksgiving 34 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: there's just like no pressure and it was just fun 35 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: and we played games, we played ker and we had 36 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: great food and there was just no pressure of gifts 37 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: or going from house to house and I don't know, 38 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: it's just yeah, it was just chill and the food, 39 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,959 Speaker 1: I mean, the stuffing. He's famous for it. And now 40 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: you're stressing out a little. But we went to the 41 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: grocery store this morning. It's are you worried? Because Grandpa 42 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: came here two months ago and he sat down and 43 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: he told you exactly how to make it. It was. 44 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: It wasn't like exactly step by step. I had about 45 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: five people. It was like your grandpa, then your mom, 46 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: your Grandma's like, well, then you gotta just the bread 47 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: is actually a stale bread. Don't forget the onion, oh Marge. 48 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,799 Speaker 1: And then someone else saying and someone else saying something else, 49 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: and I'm just like jotting down chicken scratch. Can't even 50 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: read my own handwriting this morning looking back at it. 51 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: But and then my Grandpa's like, and then you take 52 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: the what was it the heart or giblets? The giblets, 53 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 1: and I'm like, what's the giblets And he's like, that's 54 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: the good stuff. Yeah, like the liver and grind it 55 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: up and put it in the pan with the onions 56 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: out on it. We'll find out. So here's to hope. 57 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: And I don't ruin your Thanksgiving. He won't ruin it. 58 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: But there is something to be said about just his 59 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: thanks I mean, his his stuffing. It's so good. Which, shoot, 60 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 1: we forgot the gravy. I hope we have gravy. I'm 61 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 1: gonna have to text our friends. You have to have gravy. 62 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: You have to have gravy. I know. I feel like 63 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: sometimes people don't have enough gravy and we have to 64 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: have meshed potatoes. Oh my goodness, I gotta make sure 65 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: that the menus. Yeah, but I'm I'm excited though, even 66 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: though I'm sad that we're not going to do a 67 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 1: family But what is your favorite holiday? It used to 68 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: be Thanksgiving. Um, kind of not for the same reason, 69 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: but a little bit for the same reason. You know, 70 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: my parents were the ones that got divorced. But my 71 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: parents are the only ones on either side of the 72 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: family that have never been divorced or married in general. Um, 73 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: so Thanksgiving was always my mom's side of the family. 74 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: And that was like when my grandma was active and 75 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,840 Speaker 1: not suffering from dementia, and she was the most unbelievable cook, 76 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 1: like everything from scratch, She like cook it all herself. 77 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: It was unreal. And you know, the parents are upstairs. 78 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:30,280 Speaker 1: She had a little split split foyer the house and 79 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 1: the kid's tables downstairs. And I just remember just the 80 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,279 Speaker 1: memories of Thanksgiving downstairs with me and my cousins and 81 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 1: my sister and you know, because there's six of us 82 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,160 Speaker 1: and are all around the same age. So that was 83 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: just a lot of fun. But now I think it's Christmas, 84 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: and growing up, I think, you know, my family was 85 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 1: an outlier where we got to benefit from just both 86 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: families happen to do on different days. My dad's side 87 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: was always Christmas Eve. My mom's side was always from day, 88 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: so there wasn't any pressure of all right, we gotta 89 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,919 Speaker 1: go to get your dad's side of family. Okay, we 90 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,720 Speaker 1: gotta go here. That's just the way it was when 91 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: I was a kid. So that was you know, we've 92 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: benefited from that. But I just love to get getting together. 93 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 1: I definitely think Christmas now is my favorite because the 94 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,840 Speaker 1: thanks leavings now my saddest because it's not like how 95 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 1: it used to be. So I'm not with Grandpa and 96 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: Grandma and my aunts and uncles and my mom and 97 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 1: that side of the family. But now Christmas so that's 98 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: like become now like my sad memory, um, which is 99 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: I wish we could fly to Michigan, dangy covid um, 100 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: just because you know they're our grandparents are getting old 101 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: so um. But now I think Christmas is my favorite 102 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: just because the kids, oh so much fun and I'm 103 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,720 Speaker 1: excited to you know, it's just yeah, Christmas morning, it's 104 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 1: it's the best, and then it's like the worst because 105 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 1: it's like when it's all done, you're like, all right, 106 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 1: we now putting bad areas and everything. Oh that's funny. 107 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: I love it though. You know, tonight I didn't know 108 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: this if Easter and I were just talking about it 109 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 1: before the show, but I didn't know until later in 110 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: my life that tonight was like the biggest going out 111 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: night of the year. Really. Yeah, it's like bigger than 112 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: New Year's, bigger than when all the I mean, gosh, 113 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: when I used to come back from l A, oh, 114 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: I just thought I was hot. I would just walk 115 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: into the main street Billiards in Rochester. I was like, 116 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: that's right, I'm back from l A. And then like 117 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: if you just see all, you're like high school. But 118 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: I mean it was packed. It's like sweet Home Alabama. 119 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: Oh my god. I couldn't even imagine she does in 120 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: l A. Had you been on anything yet? What have 121 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 1: you been on anything yet? I mean probably not, But 122 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 1: I still thought l A was cool. Yeah, Um, I 123 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: guess I never did. I never experienced it because I 124 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: was always in football. Yeah know, I mean I definitely remember, 125 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: but that being the night before everyone went out because 126 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: at any time I would go home for a thing, 127 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: because I never missed a Thanksgiving, even when I lived 128 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: in l A. So, oh my god, I did miss one. 129 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: Remember I touched that story. What happened? He stood not 130 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: to bring up the past, but I did miss one Thanksgiving. 131 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 1: But I mean, that was kind of hard to say 132 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 1: no to kin to. I'll even admit that. Ethan just 133 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: goes tell the story. The story. Now, I don't want 134 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: to bring up I'm just I had to accurately speak 135 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: the truth because I said I always I never missed 136 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 1: a Thanksgiving. But then I just remembered the one that 137 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: I did miss because it's someone I was dating. But 138 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: it was like, it's dad, you know. I was like, 139 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 1: that's pretty cool. And this was probably like the year 140 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:04,119 Speaker 1: before me. Huh, it was right after I mean yeah 141 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: it was. It was Yeah, I had just broken up 142 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: with someone and then I started dating this other dude. 143 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 1: Can I just say that? Who that was? I mean Easton? Oh, 144 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: this is actually your neck of the woods. What do 145 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: you mean? Your neck Montito? We went to Montcito. Who 146 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: is it? Wait, let's play a game. Let's do a 147 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 1: guessing game. This is fun. I don't know how to 148 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: play the game. So this person has a famous father. 149 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: Is that is that? Okay? And his father has a 150 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: home in Montcito? Okay? Um? Trying to think is something 151 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 1: that clever? He's a mute, he was a mule in 152 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: a movie he's played He's played a mule, he's played 153 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: a and all the movies. I just like, was he 154 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: it an outlaw? Do you feel lucky? Okay? Do you punk? Dirty? Harry? 155 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: I never saw it? Wait this, okay, I I know 156 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: who it is now, But is this person that you 157 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: were with is his son is an actor? Too? Right? Yeah? Okay? 158 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I think we all know who it is now. 159 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: That's all we'll give you. They're good and they're not 160 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: going to know that. Really everyone knows. Do you do 161 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 1: you feel a lucky? I didn't know it, do you. 162 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna like when you said he played a mule. 163 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: I was like Janet dated one of Eddie Murphy's kids. 164 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: That was it. He was donkey in the Shrek movies. 165 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: But a mule is not a donkey. They're different animals. 166 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: That's not who it is, huh. I mean I wouldn't know. 167 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,840 Speaker 1: So anyways, Janna got the invite to go there for 168 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:10,960 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving instead of just her whole family that would always 169 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:15,439 Speaker 1: be there for her and Grandpa stuffing. And she said, nope, 170 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 1: the same thing. I don't blame you, I mean of us. 171 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: It was Clint Eastwood. Come on, d she just throws 172 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: it out there. I mean, how could I How could 173 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,359 Speaker 1: I say no? But I actually it was so embarrassing 174 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: because I made a fool of myself in front of him. 175 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: What'd you do? Remember at the I was in the 176 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:43,679 Speaker 1: bathroom when that happened Thanksgiving dinner. No, I told him 177 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 1: how he should have ended million dollar Baby. I think 178 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 1: I was nervous. If it was me, I totally would 179 00:10:54,200 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: have done. But No, I got some to say to you, Clint. No, 180 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:05,839 Speaker 1: I was. It was so embarrassing because his son went 181 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: to the bathroom and I was just like, your son's 182 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:12,439 Speaker 1: a very nice guy. And he's like, huh because he's old, 183 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 1: and I was like, your son is a very nice man. 184 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,079 Speaker 1: And then I just was so uncomfortable and I was 185 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:23,079 Speaker 1: like sweating, and I was like, Okay, I actually can 186 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: I talk to you about something? And I was like, 187 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: so in million dollars, million dollar baby. When Hillary swank 188 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: it was the last scene and they were going at it. 189 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: The ref said, one more cheap shot and you're disqualified, 190 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 1: and at the very end, her opponent cheap shot it again, 191 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: so she should have then been disqualified, which would have 192 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: meant Hillary swank one, not the other girl, because he 193 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 1: gave the championship to the other girl even though the 194 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: ref said one more cheap shot, they get eliminated. And 195 00:11:56,320 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: he gave me like just to stare and went huh 196 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: m hmm, and I was just like, I'm going to 197 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: bury my head in this bowl. I'm so disappointed in you, 198 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,679 Speaker 1: and I didn't even know you then, so disappointed. But 199 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 1: do you see what I'm saying though, Like the ref said, 200 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 1: that's too predictable, you're talking to the guy who wrote 201 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: the damn thing, directed the damn thing, starting the damn thing. 202 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 1: I was nervous and I was trying to make conversation. 203 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 1: Triple Crown. That movie didn't win like Best Picture. Also, yeah, yeah, hey, 204 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,079 Speaker 1: you know you could have done on that Best Picture. 205 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: Oscar Huh. I'm crying right now. This is the funniest 206 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: thing I've ever He should have gotten up, walked over 207 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 1: to wherever his Oscar is, grabbed it and put it 208 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: on the table in front of Janna've been like, I'm 209 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,760 Speaker 1: just saying the ref said, one more cheap shot and 210 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: you're eliminated, and the girl cheap shot at Hillary, which 211 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: then took her out. So the Hillary should have won. 212 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:59,319 Speaker 1: Here's what people need to know about Janna when she 213 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: watched this thing. If it doesn't end the way she 214 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,079 Speaker 1: wants it to end, it's the rules. The ref said, 215 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: it's over, she writes it off. Movie was terrible, didn't 216 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: end the way I want. Why didn't they end up together? 217 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 1: Why didn't Why did Glinice win, Harry Swink have a baby? 218 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: Everyone should be happy? Oh lord, you're like sweating right now. Really, 219 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,600 Speaker 1: isn't it. Well, it's just it's because the ref said. 220 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,560 Speaker 1: And so it's like I would have been fine if 221 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 1: the ref didn't say that, Like he should have at 222 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: least cut that line. I'm in a week up in 223 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 1: the middle of the night, like later in the week 224 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 1: and just cry like baby should have entered. I can't 225 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 1: believe it. He won Best Director for that movie too. 226 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: He has too Oscar. Yeah, I know, Well, Me and 227 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 1: the Sun broke up like the day after, so maybe 228 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 1: his dad don't want to break up with me most likely. Alright, 229 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,959 Speaker 1: let's take a break. We'll come back to this. Something 230 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 1: else please. Okay, So we have a really exciting guest 231 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: that we're going to have on the show. Mike's gonna 232 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 1: enter her in her second. But um, we basically wanted 233 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 1: to have someone on because look, Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. UM, we 234 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 1: have you guys might be getting together with your family. 235 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 1: You might not, but there might be some fighting arguing 236 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 1: with the pandemic and the stress of just everything, um, 237 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 1: politics and just everything that everyone's facing right now. Because 238 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: I'll know, I do know this, Like my anxiety has 239 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: been up just with the cases rising, so um, you know, 240 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 1: kind of freaks me out work wise and obviously just 241 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 1: the overall uncertainty. UM. So we have, um, Ryan Hadden 242 00:14:55,720 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: coming on. Mike take it away. Yeah, we have an 243 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: amazingly accomplished woman on today. Ryan is a certified life 244 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: and spiritual coach. She's a hypnotherapist, certified meditation teacher with 245 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 1: over sixteen years of experience with clients around the world. Um. 246 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: She does private workshops such as Stepping into your Purpose, 247 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: the work life balance, and finding your center. And before 248 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 1: all of that, she was in a volatile relationship with 249 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: Christian Slater, and she's helped a ton of people in 250 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: Hollywood kind of you know, rid themselves of the life 251 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: that they that can consume you and helping people that 252 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 1: are in toxic relationships that have you know, suffered from 253 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,560 Speaker 1: drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, codependency, low self esteem, 254 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: all that. So we're gonna get her on and just 255 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: talk everything that she does. Ryan, Hey, how are you? 256 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 1: How are you going? You? It's so good to see you. 257 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 1: Go to see you too. Ryan. We're excited to have 258 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: you on. Um. You know, everything that we've been reading 259 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: about you are things that we talk about on this show. 260 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 1: And it seems like you're kind of a jack of 261 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 1: all trades, um in the sense of just everything that 262 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 1: you cover and so give our listeners, you know, we 263 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 1: kind of gave them a little bit of background, but 264 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 1: can you explain to us, like how you got into 265 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: all these fields that you're into. Sure, Well, first off, 266 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: thanks for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. 267 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 1: And I love what you guys are all about too, 268 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: and thanks for making this platform. It's it's important for 269 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: people to get information, um about how to you know, 270 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 1: move into a relationship with themselves, and we think it's 271 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: about having relationships with others, but it's ultimately how are 272 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 1: we showing up for ourselves within that relationship and everyone benefits. 273 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 1: So thank you for talking about those things. And for me, 274 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: my journey is UM that I found most of my life, 275 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 1: I was looking for that solution outside of myself, be 276 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 1: it in trying to bend my body to a certain 277 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: weight or um finding that perfect relationship out there that 278 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: doesn't exist. Are in turn, you know, chasing the shine, 279 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: things and people, places and things and all of that 280 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,679 Speaker 1: and then ultimately leading it to a very real and 281 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 1: present bottom in UM addiction. And so in that recovery 282 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: process that's almost seventeen years ago, I found that I 283 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 1: really loved working with other women and helping them sort 284 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,720 Speaker 1: of put those pieces together for themselves and really lean 285 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:27,159 Speaker 1: into themselves and truly finding that from that place, everything 286 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,719 Speaker 1: else kind of worked out, you know, all the purpose, 287 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 1: the passion, the relationship, the making peace with your body, 288 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:38,159 Speaker 1: all those different elements. Do you only work with with women? 289 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,840 Speaker 1: I don't. I work with men too now, But it 290 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 1: started out working with women, and I do work with men. Actually. 291 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: I just that's just opening up and it's very very interesting. 292 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: I have this flood of men that I'm working with 293 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 1: these days, and I love it. We've got to balance 294 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: the both sides, right, the feminine the masculine within ourselves. 295 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: So of course that would come through my practice. So 296 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: before you got again, we interview kind of gave them 297 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 1: a background of what you do for a living now 298 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 1: and before you got into the spiritual life coaching and 299 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 1: hypnotherapy and everything like that. When you hit your bottom, 300 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: like you said, was about seventeen years ago, what were 301 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: you doing before that? And why was that moment? You know, 302 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:20,119 Speaker 1: that moment of clarity for you? M hm, you know what. 303 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: I had been a seeker, if you will. It had 304 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 1: led me at seventeen to run off to India and 305 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 1: to live in a you know, make a pilgrimage to 306 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 1: a sacred site and lived there for many years. And 307 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,439 Speaker 1: so I had been a seeker. I had been looking 308 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 1: for that alignment um, if you will, at an earlier age. 309 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: And UM, I did find a connection with something greater 310 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 1: that has really carried me through dark days. It didn't 311 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 1: preclude me from having them, but that connection, I want 312 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: to say that grace um shortened the distance between you 313 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 1: know the dark knight of the soul and stepping back 314 00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 1: into feeling in the sunlight of the spirit, if you will. 315 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: So I do feel like because I had that at seventeen, 316 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,399 Speaker 1: and I had been a seeker, I was able to 317 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: continue to grow out my spiritual path and yet be 318 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 1: this courageous person trying out all these other things, still 319 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 1: looking outside of myself or solutions, until I finally came 320 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,479 Speaker 1: to that resting place seventeen years ago. I was like, 321 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: I'm done, I'm done seeking, I'm done thinking. It's somewhere else. 322 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: It's in that relationship. And you know, at that time 323 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 1: I was married, and that relationship a year or so later, Um, 324 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: I didn't didn't hold, but it continued in another form 325 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 1: because we were co parenting. We had two small children, 326 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,159 Speaker 1: and so yeah, so that's that's that's that part. So 327 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,919 Speaker 1: I will say, I have always been looking and trying 328 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: to through therapy, through all these different paths of trying 329 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: to find that center within myself. And I didn't know 330 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 1: it at the time. I didn't know that was what 331 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 1: I was seeking. But I definitely picked up more urgency 332 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 1: with that addiction piece, I will say, So I'm grateful 333 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 1: for it. I'm sure um along with that. You know, 334 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,199 Speaker 1: being a person in recovery myself, you know you come 335 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: across brothers and sisters that have a difficult time leaning 336 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 1: into the spirituality of program or spirituality in life in general. 337 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 1: So as a spiritual life coach, uh, I make up 338 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,399 Speaker 1: that you've come across clients that that have you know, 339 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: closed doors to their spirituality. How are you able to 340 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,399 Speaker 1: maybe for our listeners, if there's someone out there that 341 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 1: has a hard time connecting with that spirituality, how do 342 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,400 Speaker 1: you invite that when you have a client like that. 343 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 1: M I think we can redefine it. I think it's 344 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 1: about broadening that definition of spirituality. I mean, what what 345 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 1: could that be? What's something greater than you? You know, 346 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: it could just be the idea of love, It could 347 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 1: be nature, It could be something that it feels bigger 348 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: than the ego, bigger than the personality. And that might 349 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: even be that godhead within yourself, or that connection when 350 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,880 Speaker 1: you look at your child and feel that that love, 351 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:03,360 Speaker 1: that's obviously much that transcends. You know, they're the finite 352 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 1: part of our humanity. You feel that that greatness. So 353 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,439 Speaker 1: I think I would talk to them about redefining what 354 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,119 Speaker 1: spirituality looks like. And it's not the crystals and the 355 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 1: singing bowls and you know, going to church, and it's not. 356 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be all of that. It can 357 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 1: be much more simple and much more connected. And um, 358 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 1: I love that beautiful adage of you know, something greater 359 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,879 Speaker 1: can be closer than our hands and feet, right, and 360 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,440 Speaker 1: so that's within us. So how can we have access 361 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: to that within our own selves? And I think everybody 362 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 1: wants that because we all are enslaved a certain hard 363 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 1: to our minds and our thoughts. You know, we have 364 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 1: eighty thousand thoughts of demost in which are unconscious. So 365 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 1: to be able to drop past that into that part 366 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 1: of us that's calm and peaceful, that can be or 367 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:54,200 Speaker 1: something greater. We can access that through lots of different mortalities, 368 00:21:54,240 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 1: meditation being one of them. What with hypnotherapy, is that 369 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,400 Speaker 1: kind of like an E. M D R brain spotting 370 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,119 Speaker 1: or is it completely different? Because I make up that 371 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:15,879 Speaker 1: like it has the same reaction, But is it or 372 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 1: is it totally different? Well, it's I can't speak to 373 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,679 Speaker 1: that because I don't practice that. I know it's way effective, 374 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 1: and I think it's something that you practice too, Is 375 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: that right? Um? So with hypnotherapy though, how how is 376 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: like what what's the process with that? Like? What are 377 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,920 Speaker 1: like what are people getting hypnotized for because I've only 378 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,680 Speaker 1: heard of hypnoti hypnotization when it's to quit smoking or 379 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: I don't know what, Like what else can you be 380 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:48,399 Speaker 1: hypnotized for? Sure? Well, it's it's let's just say this 381 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: that trance is a natural state for us. So I 382 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,400 Speaker 1: love to start out by talking about that, that we're 383 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,400 Speaker 1: in trance more often than we know. We're in trance 384 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 1: when we're driving a car for me to b and 385 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: we don't know how we got to be where that 386 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: was a form of trance right or when we're reading 387 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 1: a book or we're watching a movie. It's really moving 388 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: into this focused state of awareness. And then you have 389 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: these brainway of activity levels like right now we're in beta. 390 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 1: Below that is alpha, and you can kind of dip 391 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,879 Speaker 1: into that in meditation or when you're you know, doing 392 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,679 Speaker 1: something to the exclusion of other things. And then below 393 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,199 Speaker 1: that is Theta. So when we're in hypnosis would be 394 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 1: like a guided meditation and hypnotherapist would guide you into 395 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: this very relaxed state of mind and body. And that 396 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 1: is when in that theta state, that is when the 397 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: subconscious is most receptive to new ideas and new ways 398 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: of being. So that's where we find people do great 399 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:43,120 Speaker 1: with quitting smoking or nail biting or any of those. 400 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: But it also works great for old ideas around love, 401 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 1: ideas around um, success, abundance, security, So we find those 402 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,200 Speaker 1: are where all those ideas are stored. Because the subconscious 403 00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: mind houses every memory you've ever had, any emotion ever had, 404 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: and your imagination. So that's what we tap into. That 405 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,919 Speaker 1: part of you that really keeps a record of anything 406 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: that's ever happened in the past, and we might have 407 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,159 Speaker 1: picked up ideas around things that actually aren't for our 408 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 1: highest benefit. So it's it's really getting the conscious mind 409 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 1: in the subconscious mind on board, and that's how hypnosis works. 410 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:24,439 Speaker 1: That's cool. Is that something in your practice that you know, 411 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:28,880 Speaker 1: the hypnotherapy or meditation. Do you eventually try to get 412 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 1: each of your patients or clients kind of on a 413 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 1: path of that or is it kind of specific to 414 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: that person, whether or not you think they could get 415 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 1: to that level of spirituality or or whatever it may be. 416 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: You know, different people come to me for different things. 417 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,000 Speaker 1: And and most people have a healthy fear of hypnosis 418 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: because they think they're going to be made a full 419 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,439 Speaker 1: love in some way, or they're going to be acting, 420 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,160 Speaker 1: you know, outside of their balands of you know, they're 421 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 1: their high ground, if you will. So it's really just 422 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,480 Speaker 1: knowing that I hypnotherepis can't make you do anything you 423 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 1: don't want to, and it's really what's in line with 424 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: your moral compass. So um, that's one way to look 425 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,440 Speaker 1: at it. And so I feel like I don't really 426 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 1: have to um. I think you build a rapport with 427 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 1: someone and then then they come to trust and they 428 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,359 Speaker 1: know your voice and they know you're you know, listening 429 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,640 Speaker 1: to how they are. You have that connection, and then 430 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 1: from that point then they might be willing to try 431 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: hypnosis or something else something. So people come for a 432 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,879 Speaker 1: different reasons. Some people come directly and just say I 433 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,400 Speaker 1: want to do hypnosis. I know this works, heard I've 434 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,920 Speaker 1: heard it works, I know it's effective. And then other 435 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 1: people start out through the coaching path and then they 436 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: come to find they realize they're hitting these same blocks 437 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 1: over and over because consciously, if you realize you're doing 438 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,399 Speaker 1: the same thing, it's sometimes not self knowledge. Is not 439 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 1: always enough right to actually make that change. You can know, 440 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 1: oh I do this, I do that. I get triggered 441 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,879 Speaker 1: when this happens, when you say this, this hapen, but 442 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,000 Speaker 1: you can't quite get past that. So what is that? 443 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 1: Usually that's some idea that's in that subconscious party yourself 444 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 1: and sort of we stift through that together. It's a 445 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,920 Speaker 1: you know, it's a partnership. Um, so I know, and 446 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 1: I want to I want to be sensitive this just because, um, 447 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,879 Speaker 1: you know it is your past and you have kids 448 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 1: with with your ex. How did you heal through the 449 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,439 Speaker 1: pain of things that went on in your relationship, your 450 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,159 Speaker 1: past relationship, Like, what was the thing that helped you here? 451 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:22,720 Speaker 1: Because I know we have so many people that are 452 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 1: in bad relationships, toxic relationships. What was the what was 453 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,680 Speaker 1: a the breaking point to be like I deserve better? 454 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 1: Or and then also how did you heal from within? Well? 455 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 1: I stopped making him the bad guy, right, and then 456 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,879 Speaker 1: I had to give up my victim card. Um, And 457 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:45,919 Speaker 1: so those are those are a couple of things of 458 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 1: taking absolute responsibility for my own emotional life and my 459 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 1: past and my triggers and just showing up in that capacity. 460 00:26:55,280 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that, Um, we had a good shot 461 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 1: trying to do that and I was able to bring 462 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 1: these new tools into that marriage. And then there's also 463 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 1: that moment where you say that we've gone as far 464 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:13,920 Speaker 1: as we can and UM, I love that when relationships 465 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: can end um with with consciousness, with awareness, with still 466 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 1: with love bringing that to it and saying, you know, 467 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 1: with all the tools, I'm working with everything, with me 468 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,919 Speaker 1: taking out absolute responsibility for myself, it's become clear to 469 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: me that this partnership isn't for the highest good and 470 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: I want the best for you, and I want this 471 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,400 Speaker 1: to continue, and it will continue in a different form 472 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: certainly when you have children. It does continue. But that 473 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: level of awareness I'm so grateful for, um, And it 474 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 1: doesn't doesn't end in drama and in chaos, which I 475 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 1: brought plenty of to that marriage. So grateful that I 476 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 1: had another way of closing it up. If you will, 477 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,240 Speaker 1: you know you're talking on that makes you think of 478 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 1: a topic that you talk about in some year, stuff 479 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 1: which is radical self acceptance, and that that concept is 480 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 1: so intriguing to me, and I would love for you 481 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 1: to kind of give your insight on on what that means. Well, 482 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,920 Speaker 1: I think it's we've touched on it a tiny bit 483 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 1: and it's you know, radical acceptance is is it is 484 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:20,640 Speaker 1: a dialectical behavior therapy term. So I want to give 485 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: honor that where it came from, and then the self 486 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,160 Speaker 1: acceptance part is always going to be good. But let's 487 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 1: first cover the radical acceptance is about things. Accepting things 488 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 1: as they are, you know, not not necessarily condoning them, 489 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,439 Speaker 1: not not that you don't want them to be different, 490 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,720 Speaker 1: not saying this is the way I wanted to be, 491 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 1: just saying it is what it is. And a lot 492 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 1: of times we get stuck as humans and we get 493 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 1: into that spinning our wheels. It shouldn't be this way. 494 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 1: It should be different. They should be doing this. I 495 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 1: should have got that job. I should It's like all 496 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: of that spinning of the wheels. When we can just 497 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,320 Speaker 1: move into that radical acceptance and acknowledging this is how 498 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 1: it is for right now. And when I accept all 499 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,160 Speaker 1: my feelings underneath that, all that goes with it, when 500 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: I honor all of that, then I can come up 501 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: with another solution and it can be different. I think 502 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 1: it's just an important step when we're in you know, 503 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,600 Speaker 1: that fighting flight mode. Or we're in that victim mode 504 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,120 Speaker 1: of it shouldn't have happened this way, It shouldn't be 505 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,280 Speaker 1: this way. It doesn't mean I agree with it, It 506 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 1: just means I accept it m And so that goes 507 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 1: true for self acceptance. I am doing this behavior again. 508 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 1: There it is, you know, bringing that curiosity to it. Oh, wow, 509 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: there's that behavior. I think a lot of times we 510 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 1: have these images of how we think we should be 511 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: and then how we actually really are. And so that's 512 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: you know, there's a lot of pain that happens in 513 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: that in that closing that gap. And so when we 514 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: can move into that space of owning all our parts, 515 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,320 Speaker 1: all that part that we stuff into the shadow, you know, 516 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 1: the partner basement, that we disown all those parts of 517 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 1: ourselves and we wear these masks to hide behind so 518 00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 1: we don't have to own those other parts. When we 519 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 1: can move into you radical self acceptance and say I 520 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 1: accept all parts of myself, it's assuming total responsibility. Then 521 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 1: we heal, then we integrate. Then we show up in 522 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: full partnership and not expecting our partner to deliver us 523 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 1: things that were unwilling to do the work to deliver ourselves. Yeah, 524 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 1: that's great, I am what would you say to the 525 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 1: people right now because there's so much uncertainty with a 526 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 1: lot of things, the virus, everything happening in the world 527 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:36,040 Speaker 1: right now, Um, what would you say to them? To 528 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 1: the soul that is anxious and um yeah, I'm just curious, like, 529 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 1: how do you how do you help with that anxious soul? 530 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 1: During these times, I say, I feel you We're all 531 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 1: in this together, right This is one of those moments 532 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 1: where I know there's some division, but at the end 533 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 1: of the day, we're all humans with beating hearts that 534 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 1: want to know love and security and we want to 535 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: feel connectivity. And it is that moment in time to 536 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 1: highlight that in your life, in your space, make sure 537 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 1: you curate you know who you spend time with. It 538 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: really helps, It really creates your reality. Watch what you're thinking, 539 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: Watch how you air to you know, you slide into 540 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,479 Speaker 1: that negative perspective. I think where you can curate that 541 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 1: positivity in your life, not in that Pollyanna kind of way, 542 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 1: but really looking for the good where you know, in 543 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 1: different holidays at this period of time, this would be 544 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,760 Speaker 1: a time to really count your blessings, to look at 545 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: how you have, how this year has changed you because 546 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 1: it has changed people either kicking and screaming or voluntarily. 547 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: We've had to reprioritize. We've had to um, you know, 548 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 1: um solidify certain things in our lives that maybe things 549 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,760 Speaker 1: got big and expanded, and we've had to pull that 550 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: in and create our core group, our core circle, and 551 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 1: also you know, developing that relationship with yourself. I mean, 552 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,360 Speaker 1: here's the thing. There is no security out there, right. 553 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 1: I say this often, and it's you know, it's it's 554 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,360 Speaker 1: it's can seem shocking. But we've we've we're under the 555 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 1: illusion that this is this world is a place, so 556 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: we can put anchors and tethers in. You know, we 557 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,760 Speaker 1: have this idea and partnership like you complete me. You 558 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,720 Speaker 1: know that our children are extensions of ourselves. That when 559 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 1: I get that bank account, I'll be safe, when I 560 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,640 Speaker 1: have that job, I'll be okay. But this is a 561 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,440 Speaker 1: period of time where kind of a lot of those 562 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 1: things are dissolving and we're moving into pulling in things 563 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 1: really tight. And what am I in partnership with Truly, 564 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 1: I'm in partnership with me, partnership with myself. I'm the 565 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 1: constant kids grow up, husbands, can come and go. You know, 566 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 1: you guys are still in it, and blessings to you 567 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 1: much love, because there's great work to be done. You know. 568 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:58,240 Speaker 1: In partnership, it's really the master class, um, where if 569 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 1: you're conscious and you're holding up the mirror to each 570 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 1: other lovingly, that you can really evolve and walk through 571 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,600 Speaker 1: this in a beautiful way together. So partnership is beautiful 572 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 1: and powerful. Certainly it has so much grace to it. Um, 573 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 1: they can and then when we're unconscious, we're just like 574 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,360 Speaker 1: bumping into each other and triggering each other all over 575 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,880 Speaker 1: the place, and we think, oh, maybe somewhere else I'll 576 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,479 Speaker 1: get my solution right from But I think people are 577 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 1: realizing that now that this is a time to really 578 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,640 Speaker 1: check your thinking, check your world, to check your space. 579 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 1: How connected are you? What's true for you now? M man. 580 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,160 Speaker 1: It's like the perfect message for what we need right 581 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,080 Speaker 1: now with Thanksgiving tomorrow and then with the political climate 582 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 1: that we're dealing with these days. I mean, nothing more 583 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 1: than just And sometimes I feel like people get away 584 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 1: from it being that simple. Right, We're just human beings 585 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,840 Speaker 1: all looking for the same thing, and we don't have 586 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,800 Speaker 1: to overreact to everyone else's opinions or expressions or whatever. 587 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 1: I know I'm guilty of that at times, but I 588 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 1: love it. It was like, yeah, you do well, Ryan, 589 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 1: We really appreciate your time. Thank you so much for 590 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,920 Speaker 1: spending this time with us and kind of sharing your 591 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,200 Speaker 1: wisdom with it with ourselves, UM and our listeners, you know, 592 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 1: especially before this holiday season. And if you want to 593 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,800 Speaker 1: know more, UM, definitely go to Ryan Haddan dot com 594 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 1: are r y A N h A D d o 595 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,400 Speaker 1: n dot com. She's got a six week relationship course 596 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,719 Speaker 1: and a few other courses to in private workshops like 597 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,880 Speaker 1: stepping into your Purpose, the work life balance, and finding 598 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,879 Speaker 1: your center. Um. We actually we visited your website last 599 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,160 Speaker 1: night and it was just I was immediately just like 600 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:38,480 Speaker 1: I felt zen and I was like, I need to 601 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,279 Speaker 1: take everything on this page, but just thank you for 602 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: putting that energy out into the world because we need 603 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: more people like you, So thank you. Thanks for having me. 604 00:34:47,320 --> 00:35:02,879 Speaker 1: You guys have a good holiday. I mean, I think 605 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 1: we all need. It's something that we kind of talked 606 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,359 Speaker 1: about in where our pastor was talking about in church, 607 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: like everyone should have like a mentor just someone that 608 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: has that energy that can Um. I'm not saying she's 609 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,800 Speaker 1: a mentor, but I mean she could be for someone, 610 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 1: but just having that life coach or that mentor that 611 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 1: puts things back into perspective. Yeah, that puts things but 612 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,120 Speaker 1: also can help you kind of not freak out or 613 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,200 Speaker 1: not stress out or just see the you see the 614 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,960 Speaker 1: light when there's a lot of darkness. So yeah, I 615 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,880 Speaker 1: mean she she definitely has that therapy tone of voice. 616 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 1: I mean that'll just lull you to sleep in a 617 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,600 Speaker 1: good way of like just kind of calming your nerves, 618 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,480 Speaker 1: like calming your heartbeat. Like everything I felt was just 619 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,400 Speaker 1: like calm and just relaxed. And so I mean, she 620 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,439 Speaker 1: was talking about some amazing messages. So definitely go check 621 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,040 Speaker 1: out her website or her instagram is Ryan Head and 622 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:57,160 Speaker 1: Coach on Instagram, So go check that out. But let's 623 00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,560 Speaker 1: finish up with an email and call it a holiday. 624 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,960 Speaker 1: This is an interesting email because we've deal with this 625 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 1: a little bit. It's from anonymous. I wanted to know 626 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,640 Speaker 1: how you and my handle each other's friends when you 627 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,200 Speaker 1: don't like them or their spouse. In my case, my 628 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:17,160 Speaker 1: husband's best friend's wife hates me and always manages to 629 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 1: talk trash, either directly to me or to others about me. Yeah, 630 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: what is your breaking point with friends and friends spouses? 631 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,520 Speaker 1: At what point in the disrespect of your spouse do 632 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:29,239 Speaker 1: you cut both people out of your lives? Well, all, 633 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 1: first off, say, if there was someone that was talking trash, 634 00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,719 Speaker 1: like if one of my friends was talking crap about you, 635 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,080 Speaker 1: aid to your face or behind your back, like, I 636 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:41,000 Speaker 1: would have your back and I'd be like, I would 637 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,319 Speaker 1: cut them out. And I would pray that if one 638 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:49,160 Speaker 1: of your friends talked crap about me, you would, you know, 639 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 1: which you kind of did to your one friend he 640 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:56,120 Speaker 1: had said something when years ago, No, this happened in 641 00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 1: January when you when we got caught that stuff, so 642 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,799 Speaker 1: and you you kind of clap back. That's to them, 643 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,960 Speaker 1: But I would just hope that you would do the 644 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:11,440 Speaker 1: same thing. But it's interesting because we do have situations 645 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:15,400 Speaker 1: where there's someone in Mike's circle that I do not like. 646 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,359 Speaker 1: I mean like I do not like him at all. 647 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:23,919 Speaker 1: But he's one of Mike's good friends. And what we've 648 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,160 Speaker 1: done is we just don't hang out as a couple 649 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:32,400 Speaker 1: anymore because and there's someone that you don't like in 650 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 1: one of my circles, you know, it's not really in 651 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:42,200 Speaker 1: your circle. I'm just saying it's still a friend that 652 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:47,160 Speaker 1: you see this that just brews my point. And because 653 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,879 Speaker 1: that one guy that you, I mean, it's not really 654 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:51,680 Speaker 1: I mean he's one of the circles, but I mean 655 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:55,600 Speaker 1: that's one of my circle groups and he you know, 656 00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,800 Speaker 1: so I just I don't really talk about the person 657 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,479 Speaker 1: in front of him, and he doesn't really talk about 658 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 1: that person in front of me because I just can't 659 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:06,840 Speaker 1: stop when it when he brings up, because it's just, oh, 660 00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,680 Speaker 1: it's hard. But I will say that's it's it's very 661 00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 1: it's very hard to find a couple that you like 662 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,840 Speaker 1: both parties. Like there's a couple of dudes in his 663 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,960 Speaker 1: circle the dudes are awesome and the wives are and 664 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:23,920 Speaker 1: then his other side where the wives are awesome and 665 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:28,239 Speaker 1: the dudes are. Yeah, I mean, percentage wise, do you 666 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:32,520 Speaker 1: think it's more guys are cool? I see what you're 667 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:36,680 Speaker 1: doing there. Uh No, I think it's just that just 668 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:41,160 Speaker 1: happened to be in that No. No, I think in 669 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:43,560 Speaker 1: our case it is no, because there's only one dude 670 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,600 Speaker 1: I like out of that group. Now you don't even 671 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:51,799 Speaker 1: know the other ones. No, here's the thing from this 672 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:57,319 Speaker 1: email standpoint. Yeah, saying if they're talking, then like, if 673 00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,000 Speaker 1: any of my friends are talking, I'll call him out 674 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,160 Speaker 1: and say, if you continue to do that, peace, like 675 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:07,880 Speaker 1: I'll choose my wife. That's right, So but that but 676 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: the but the thing is is like none of my 677 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,040 Speaker 1: close friends would do that, right, So you almost have 678 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 1: to wonder in this case, like why your husband's Well, 679 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,640 Speaker 1: here's the thing. It's his best friend's wife. His best friends. 680 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,359 Speaker 1: So just imagine if one of your best friends, let's 681 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,399 Speaker 1: say like, who's your who's your best friend? I don't 682 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 1: have one, but say say, al well, you're gonna say 683 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 1: the one because the wife does. But she would the 684 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,319 Speaker 1: so his wife does isn't like a huge fan of 685 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:45,719 Speaker 1: mine and one of Mike's best friends. But so yeah, 686 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,359 Speaker 1: we had a little thing and she doesn't like me, 687 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:51,239 Speaker 1: and that's okay, it's fine, we have what's fine, we're 688 00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,200 Speaker 1: not besties, it's all good. But if she were to 689 00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:58,400 Speaker 1: say something directly to me or to Mike like that's 690 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:02,720 Speaker 1: so wrong, but you wouldn't be friends with this person. 691 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,680 Speaker 1: You wouldn't stop, I'm sorry, wouldn't stop being friends with 692 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:10,799 Speaker 1: this person. If the wife was saying, in my case, 693 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,160 Speaker 1: my husband's best friend's wife hates me and always managed 694 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,280 Speaker 1: just talk trash into directly to me or to others 695 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,760 Speaker 1: about me. So you know darn well that this dude's 696 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,480 Speaker 1: wife is going to say bad things about me if 697 00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,279 Speaker 1: I was, because we know she asked, because that's how 698 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,560 Speaker 1: we found out about things. Yeah, but here's the thing. 699 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:29,480 Speaker 1: He did his best at telling his wife to to 700 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,160 Speaker 1: stop with that, and he was kind of playing Switzerland 701 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:33,759 Speaker 1: a little bit because he was caught in a rock 702 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 1: and heart between a rock and hard place. But it's 703 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,279 Speaker 1: not like it's an ongoing thing now. If it still was, 704 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,160 Speaker 1: then there'd be an issue, you know what I mean. 705 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,080 Speaker 1: So I would tell like with this guy, I would tell, 706 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,239 Speaker 1: you know, your husband anonymous, he needs to tell his 707 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,080 Speaker 1: best friend, be like, yo, your wife needs to cut 708 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,839 Speaker 1: this out or it's going to affect our relationship because 709 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,319 Speaker 1: it would affect mine with my friends. And it did 710 00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,840 Speaker 1: kind of for a second. Did absolutely did. She's a 711 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,080 Speaker 1: bummer because I'm like, I didn't mean to, you know, 712 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,200 Speaker 1: and I tried to apologize and no, I know you 713 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,920 Speaker 1: you handled up like a big person, but um like 714 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,879 Speaker 1: a big girl. I handled it like a big girl. 715 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,040 Speaker 1: But no, I mean, I think you know that is tough. 716 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,400 Speaker 1: But you know, outside of this specific situation, when it 717 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,200 Speaker 1: comes down to it, we're still a lot to be 718 00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,440 Speaker 1: friends with who we want to be friends with, as 719 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,440 Speaker 1: long as it's not, uh, you know, harming the relationship. 720 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,120 Speaker 1: Me still being friends with my one friend that you 721 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,719 Speaker 1: don't like doesn't harm our relationship, you know what I mean. 722 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,160 Speaker 1: So it's just one of those things. Um. You guys, 723 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:37,440 Speaker 1: we hope all of you have a very safe, healthy, 724 00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:40,279 Speaker 1: happy Thanksgiving, however you spend it. We know a lot 725 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,239 Speaker 1: of you aren't able to be with your loved ones 726 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,440 Speaker 1: this Thanksgiving. Um, we hear you, we see you. You're 727 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,680 Speaker 1: not alone and um and if you're breathing, if you're 728 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,279 Speaker 1: listening to this, be thankful that you are and just 729 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,759 Speaker 1: find you know, so listen those little things like that. 730 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,560 Speaker 1: And if you get lonely, you're not alone, call a friend, 731 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:01,239 Speaker 1: put your cat, take your dog for a while. You're 732 00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,120 Speaker 1: not alone. You're saying, if you lonely, have a cat, 733 00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:08,279 Speaker 1: probably that's what I'm saying. I'm just saying, like, like, 734 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,719 Speaker 1: I'm sure you have a you'll pet your goldfish. And 735 00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:14,000 Speaker 1: if you're all all alone, DM me and we'll DM 736 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,000 Speaker 1: each other because I don't want you to be alone. 737 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:23,960 Speaker 1: Bet your cat. That didn't sound bad. I'm sorry. Go 738 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,120 Speaker 1: bet your cat. See you next week. Everything's giving me. 739 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,920 Speaker 1: I'm sorry.