WEBVTT - Amythyst Kiah Sings Her Truth 0:00:15.436 --> 0:00:24.476 Pushkin. On her intimate new album, Wary and Strange, Amethyst 0:00:24.516 --> 0:00:27.316 Kia sings her heart out about losing her mom to 0:00:27.396 --> 0:00:30.636 suicide and what it's like being the only black person 0:00:30.676 --> 0:00:34.116 in the room at country gigs. I want the fans 0:00:34.156 --> 0:00:38.356 and won my face in the Greek, but I'm black pie. 0:00:38.836 --> 0:00:41.876 I want to sweet that down right. I'm a beat, 0:00:42.156 --> 0:00:46.916 but I'm black Pine. Amethyst Kia has always been caught 0:00:46.916 --> 0:00:50.796 between different worlds. Growing up with massive anxiety as a 0:00:50.796 --> 0:00:54.516 teenager near Chattanooga, Tennessee, she started learning Green Day and 0:00:54.556 --> 0:00:59.036 Tory Amal songs alone in her bedroom on guitar. Eventually, 0:00:59.036 --> 0:01:02.436 she built up her chops and courage and began performing 0:01:02.476 --> 0:01:06.276 bluegrass standards live, catching the attention of recent guests at 0:01:06.276 --> 0:01:10.556 the pod In Banjo Extraordinaire ran In Giddins, who put 0:01:10.636 --> 0:01:14.316 Kia in her band in twenty eighteen. Nearly two years later, 0:01:14.596 --> 0:01:18.276 Amethyst Kia started working with Phoebe Bridges producer Tony Berg 0:01:18.596 --> 0:01:22.196 on what would become her newest album, Wary and Strange. 0:01:22.596 --> 0:01:25.916 The project expertly fuses Kia's love for nineties alt rock 0:01:26.236 --> 0:01:30.636 with her old time country sensibility. Amethyst Kia performs two 0:01:30.636 --> 0:01:33.196 of her new songs on today's episode and talks to 0:01:33.196 --> 0:01:35.316 Bruce Headlam about what it was like for a black 0:01:35.356 --> 0:01:38.156 teenager to come out as gay in a white Christian 0:01:38.236 --> 0:01:41.356 Southern town. She also explains how learning of the West 0:01:41.396 --> 0:01:46.196 African roots of bluegrass helped reaffirm her place in Americana music. 0:01:50.396 --> 0:01:53.076 This is broken record liner notes for the digital age. 0:01:53.276 --> 0:02:02.036 I'm justin Richmontain. Here's Bruce Headlam with Amethyst Kia. There 0:02:02.076 --> 0:02:04.796 are many things I love about your album, but we'll 0:02:04.836 --> 0:02:06.876 get to the songs in a second. But the sound 0:02:06.916 --> 0:02:14.076 of your album, it's so textured, but so interesting in 0:02:14.196 --> 0:02:17.636 the sounds you apply to different songs. Often when people 0:02:17.676 --> 0:02:19.076 do that, they bring in a lot of kind of 0:02:19.116 --> 0:02:21.876 noise and effects. They don't seem integral to the songs, 0:02:21.876 --> 0:02:25.476 but yours do. Did you conceive of them with so 0:02:25.596 --> 0:02:29.436 many different sounds? With the string arrangements, it sounded like 0:02:29.436 --> 0:02:30.756 you have flutes, or it may have been like an 0:02:30.756 --> 0:02:35.116 old melotron. Flutes were melotron. So this album went through 0:02:35.156 --> 0:02:38.956 like sort of three different stages, with what is out 0:02:38.996 --> 0:02:43.156 now being the final stage and making this album, I 0:02:43.236 --> 0:02:44.916 was kind of going through like a bit of a 0:02:44.996 --> 0:02:49.116 musical identity crisis because I was like I was dealing 0:02:49.116 --> 0:02:53.596 with writer's block. I was in therapy trying to like 0:02:53.836 --> 0:02:58.076 unpack lots of repressed feelings that were like holding me 0:02:58.156 --> 0:03:02.116 back creatively. So there was just a lot of like 0:03:02.516 --> 0:03:04.636 stuff that I was trying to figure out during the 0:03:04.676 --> 0:03:09.476 making of this record, and my final conclusion for what 0:03:09.516 --> 0:03:12.596 I wanted the record to be is I wanted to 0:03:12.596 --> 0:03:15.916 combine my folk music influences from when I was in 0:03:15.956 --> 0:03:20.556 college and then also combine my lifelong love and obsession 0:03:20.676 --> 0:03:24.716 for alternative music. Because the way that my songs are 0:03:24.836 --> 0:03:27.756 when I write them, I don't sit down and think 0:03:27.756 --> 0:03:29.636 about I'm going to write a country song or I'm 0:03:29.676 --> 0:03:31.636 going to write a rock and roll song. My focus 0:03:31.636 --> 0:03:33.276 had always been on how am I going to range 0:03:33.356 --> 0:03:35.956 us on the guitar. I didn't have the resources or 0:03:35.996 --> 0:03:40.276 the mental capacity to even think beyond that. So meeting 0:03:40.316 --> 0:03:43.196 up with Tony and his years of experience of like 0:03:43.356 --> 0:03:47.156 working with within multiple genres of music, he would have 0:03:47.276 --> 0:03:50.676 these ideas of these different sounds to use to layer 0:03:51.596 --> 0:03:55.116 that I never would have thought of. For example, in 0:03:55.476 --> 0:03:58.956 Hangover Blues, you Know, we had recorded you know, the 0:03:59.036 --> 0:04:04.036 rhythm track for it, and he disappeared for a minute 0:04:04.036 --> 0:04:07.676 and came back with this tourist kind of trinket that 0:04:07.956 --> 0:04:11.276 a friend gave him from Burma. It had a little 0:04:11.276 --> 0:04:15.596 button and it had Tibetan chants. So that part in 0:04:15.636 --> 0:04:19.236 the beginning of the song on the record where you 0:04:19.276 --> 0:04:21.796 hear the guy kind of chanting that's from this little 0:04:22.116 --> 0:04:27.116 from this like tourist toy. Like no sound, regardless of 0:04:27.156 --> 0:04:30.196 where it came from, was off limits. Then also there 0:04:30.276 --> 0:04:33.956 was you know, obviously the using the melotron for different things, 0:04:33.996 --> 0:04:37.756 like with fancy drones. Just the way that he thinks 0:04:37.756 --> 0:04:41.636 about music and thinks about sound played such a pivotal 0:04:41.716 --> 0:04:45.036 role in like how this record turned out, and it 0:04:45.156 --> 0:04:49.196 really clicked with me because all of my favorite records 0:04:50.076 --> 0:04:54.356 are records that have like just weird, little nuanced layers 0:04:54.396 --> 0:04:56.916 of sounds. You know, every time you listen to the record, 0:04:56.956 --> 0:04:58.556 you hear a new sound that you maybe you didn't 0:04:58.556 --> 0:05:02.716 recognize before. The sound reminded me of old LPs, you know, 0:05:02.836 --> 0:05:05.596 from eighties or nineties. Yeah, and I'm wondering, are those 0:05:05.756 --> 0:05:08.636 some of your favorite albums. A lot of my stuff 0:05:08.676 --> 0:05:11.476 that I fell in love with is definitely from the nineties, 0:05:11.516 --> 0:05:16.276 like Radiohead, Records, Tori Amos Records, BORC Records, and it 0:05:16.316 --> 0:05:18.716 was like magic to be had no idea how any 0:05:18.756 --> 0:05:21.996 of that happened or how any of those sounds were made. 0:05:22.276 --> 0:05:26.556 Working with Tony, I was like, Okay, this is how. 0:05:26.596 --> 0:05:29.276 And then there's this one really cool thing called a 0:05:29.356 --> 0:05:32.396 Kalida loop. They're not made anymore. It's really hard to find. 0:05:32.436 --> 0:05:35.396 I keep checking reverb dot com to see if anybody's 0:05:35.436 --> 0:05:39.116 trying to sell one. But like, you can basically record 0:05:39.756 --> 0:05:44.876 any sound and then go back and like flip it around, 0:05:44.916 --> 0:05:48.996 manipulate it, like change the pitch. Seeing all of sound 0:05:49.076 --> 0:05:52.156 as a way to be musical was just an approach 0:05:52.196 --> 0:05:55.716 to music that I never really took in a studio setting, 0:05:56.156 --> 0:05:59.996 and so I learned a lot. And for me, he 0:06:00.076 --> 0:06:02.876 said a high bar of like what a producer should be. 0:06:03.156 --> 0:06:04.836 I know what I want now when I go in 0:06:04.876 --> 0:06:07.956 the studio. I want someone that just really thinks outside 0:06:07.996 --> 0:06:11.836 of the box the sound. So okay, well that's outside 0:06:11.836 --> 0:06:14.836 of the box. Let's talk about the box your songs. Yeah, 0:06:14.876 --> 0:06:17.076 I notice you have a guitar. Would you like to 0:06:17.116 --> 0:06:19.276 sing one? Yeah? I would love to anything you like? 0:06:19.716 --> 0:06:48.556 All right, we'll do uh hangover Blues woke up this 0:06:48.956 --> 0:07:10.476 money feeding baby had the worst hang oh blue, I 0:07:10.756 --> 0:07:23.516 don my baby had it come. And if I did 0:07:23.556 --> 0:07:27.876 it all over again, I do the same damn thing 0:07:28.156 --> 0:07:33.876 in it. And if I did it all bark again, 0:07:34.076 --> 0:08:03.756 I do the same damn than its. I like sweet 0:08:03.836 --> 0:08:18.396 pleads right up, Gray lor knows I like to look, 0:08:18.796 --> 0:08:29.836 but I was scared to think that my baby had 0:08:29.996 --> 0:08:38.636 it down. We know you had my hands and knees 0:08:38.676 --> 0:08:46.156 and lon she get them into speechless time You had 0:08:46.316 --> 0:08:50.356 my hands and knees and norn she get them into speechless. 0:08:50.796 --> 0:09:27.116 Hay time dum. Then my baby hated game now. And 0:09:27.476 --> 0:09:30.916 if I did it all over again, I do the 0:09:31.116 --> 0:09:38.716 same damn bang And if I did it all over again, 0:09:38.916 --> 0:09:45.796 I do the same damn banging it Hi, sing damn Bangingyhi, 0:09:46.076 --> 0:09:55.276 sing damn dang Hi. This is gonna seem like a 0:09:55.316 --> 0:09:58.316 silly question because anybody who's had a hangover those would 0:09:58.356 --> 0:10:01.556 inspired that song, right, But what inspired that particular song. 0:10:01.956 --> 0:10:04.876 When I left Chattanoogain moved to Johnson City, I like 0:10:05.036 --> 0:10:07.676 went back in the closet because I was like, I 0:10:07.716 --> 0:10:11.196 went from a medium sized Bible belt town to a 0:10:11.276 --> 0:10:14.876 small Bible belt down, so I was very like concerned 0:10:15.076 --> 0:10:18.596 about how that would play out. I came out I 0:10:18.636 --> 0:10:20.676 was gay in high school, Like my sophomore year in 0:10:20.716 --> 0:10:23.716 high school, were you dating? Then? I went on some dates, 0:10:23.716 --> 0:10:28.236 but my social anxiety was so was so crippling that 0:10:28.316 --> 0:10:32.276 like I could never get past my anxiety to really 0:10:32.356 --> 0:10:35.436 like do anything beyond like going out on the day. 0:10:35.796 --> 0:10:37.756 I had a lot of low self esteem, so like 0:10:38.036 --> 0:10:40.676 sharing myself in an intimate way with someone was just 0:10:40.756 --> 0:10:43.756 beyond the pale for me because I had such poor 0:10:43.796 --> 0:10:46.756 self image of myself that part of me in a 0:10:46.756 --> 0:10:49.196 lot of ways was like how can anybody like me? 0:10:49.516 --> 0:10:53.116 You know, Yeah, not a great mental space to be in. 0:10:53.316 --> 0:10:56.116 But but then I went back in the clausem early twenties, 0:10:56.236 --> 0:10:59.196 and then I kind of just stayed there for like 0:10:59.236 --> 0:11:02.196 seven years, which wasn't the intention. So by the time 0:11:02.236 --> 0:11:04.756 I was in my late twenties, I was like something 0:11:04.796 --> 0:11:08.116 about the year twenty seven. They say that when you 0:11:08.156 --> 0:11:11.356 turned twenty seven, all of your cells and your body 0:11:11.396 --> 0:11:15.196 have totally regenerated. I don't know. I've not looked up 0:11:15.236 --> 0:11:18.156 the science, but I've just had conversations with people and 0:11:18.276 --> 0:11:21.156 like there may be something to it, because I feel 0:11:21.156 --> 0:11:23.596 like at the age of twenty seven, I just decided 0:11:23.716 --> 0:11:28.876 to like not care anymore about how people felt, and 0:11:28.916 --> 0:11:32.036 then I kind of just started dating do my own thing. 0:11:32.036 --> 0:11:35.916 I started. I had my party phase in my late twenties, 0:11:35.916 --> 0:11:38.556 which is a weird time to do that. I'd had 0:11:38.596 --> 0:11:41.156 like a few drinks here and there, like in my 0:11:41.236 --> 0:11:43.316 early twenties and into my mid twenties, but I didn't 0:11:43.356 --> 0:11:47.476 start like drinking or actually get drunk until like my 0:11:47.916 --> 0:11:50.436 late twenties. In my mind, I was like, well, I'll 0:11:50.476 --> 0:11:53.796 be more interesting if I drink. But Hangover Blues was 0:11:53.836 --> 0:11:56.156 like the beginning of that phase. So it was when 0:11:56.276 --> 0:12:00.396 things were still fun, at least in my mind. Things 0:12:00.396 --> 0:12:02.956 were fun. But the line in the song that talks 0:12:02.956 --> 0:12:04.996 about I like to look, but I was scared to 0:12:05.076 --> 0:12:08.436 death that came from a line from The Great Gatsby. 0:12:08.756 --> 0:12:12.476 There is this idea of like being so attracted to 0:12:12.516 --> 0:12:15.596 someone but also being terrified of them at the same time. 0:12:15.916 --> 0:12:19.156 I don't think that's the way a relationship should work. 0:12:19.156 --> 0:12:21.196 I don't think you should ever feel tar about it 0:12:21.276 --> 0:12:24.996 if the personally I don't know any other way, all right, Yeah, 0:12:25.036 --> 0:12:28.036 but there was like this exciting exhilaration about it, like 0:12:28.196 --> 0:12:30.396 you know, this this person that is like just was 0:12:30.476 --> 0:12:34.236 so opposite for me in every single way, but like, 0:12:34.396 --> 0:12:35.916 I don't know, there was something about it that was 0:12:35.956 --> 0:12:38.916 just terribly exciting to me. So that was referring to 0:12:38.996 --> 0:12:40.956 like a person that I was dating at that time. 0:12:41.236 --> 0:12:43.996 You said you had writer's block. Was that a result 0:12:44.036 --> 0:12:47.476 of the social anxiety? Do you think possibly? I mean, 0:12:47.596 --> 0:12:50.236 I would say between like two thousand and nine all 0:12:50.236 --> 0:12:52.956 the way up until like twenty twenty fourteen. You know, 0:12:53.036 --> 0:12:55.036 I wrote a lot when I was in high school. 0:12:55.076 --> 0:12:58.676 I wrote a lot of poems, song ideas, and songs, 0:12:59.516 --> 0:13:02.156 but I kind of stopped and just focused on traditional 0:13:02.236 --> 0:13:04.596 music because when I started studying the roots in the 0:13:04.596 --> 0:13:08.756 cultural history of American music, I realized I need to 0:13:08.756 --> 0:13:11.996 really own in on this. I was lacking grounding in 0:13:11.996 --> 0:13:14.796 my musical journey because I'd spent so much of it 0:13:14.876 --> 0:13:17.636 kind of on my own, listening to different things that 0:13:17.756 --> 0:13:20.196 I needed to learn how to play with other musicians 0:13:20.316 --> 0:13:23.796 and learn how to be a performer. But the real 0:13:23.836 --> 0:13:27.556 songwriting didn't really like start happening until I was probably 0:13:27.556 --> 0:13:30.436 I would say probably twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen. Then by 0:13:30.436 --> 0:13:33.236 the time twenty eighteen rolled around. That's when like the 0:13:33.236 --> 0:13:36.516 writer's block was happening. Because I was really in deep 0:13:36.516 --> 0:13:41.316 in this like on again, off again ambiguous relationship with someone. 0:13:41.676 --> 0:13:45.876 It was consuming all of my emotional energy. This person 0:13:46.036 --> 0:13:49.076 didn't really even end up being amused to write songs about. 0:13:49.196 --> 0:13:52.316 It was just this person just blocked out my creativity 0:13:52.516 --> 0:13:56.316 like altogether. It wasn't until after working on Our Native 0:13:56.396 --> 0:14:00.716 Daughters that's when the writer's block started to lift, and 0:14:00.796 --> 0:14:04.636 I really started to like get some momentum with writing 0:14:04.636 --> 0:14:08.396 some new songs and then also like deciding to record 0:14:08.476 --> 0:14:10.916 some of the songs that I'd written and like have 0:14:10.996 --> 0:14:14.836 a record of all original material and also sort of 0:14:15.196 --> 0:14:21.716 reconcile these two musical sides and just make something completely 0:14:21.756 --> 0:14:25.196 fresh and new and something that really represented who I 0:14:25.236 --> 0:14:28.516 am as a musician and where I really was in 0:14:28.556 --> 0:14:30.916 that current moment. We should talk a bit about the 0:14:30.956 --> 0:14:33.956 other side, because you went to study at Eastern Tennessee 0:14:34.516 --> 0:14:37.396 and you took a bluegrass course, I think without really 0:14:37.436 --> 0:14:40.916 knowing much about bluegrass, right right, Yeah, yeah, I took 0:14:40.956 --> 0:14:44.396 a blue grass guitar class with Jack Toddle. Classical didn't 0:14:44.596 --> 0:14:47.276 isn't really appealing to me because the way that I 0:14:47.356 --> 0:14:50.156 learned music didn't really align with how they taught it, 0:14:50.236 --> 0:14:53.996 and so it just didn't really interest me. But with 0:14:54.316 --> 0:14:56.676 blue grass guitar, it was an opportunity for me to 0:14:56.716 --> 0:14:59.396 take a music class and not have to worry about 0:14:59.556 --> 0:15:01.916 oral skills and theory and all that kind of stuff. 0:15:01.956 --> 0:15:05.076 And the way that I learned was like recognized and respected. 0:15:05.476 --> 0:15:08.916 So it started there, and then as I kept digging 0:15:08.916 --> 0:15:10.916 more and more, I started seeing, like, you know, the 0:15:11.076 --> 0:15:14.236 entirety of like American roots music and how it plays 0:15:14.316 --> 0:15:18.476 such a huge role in all American music, and also 0:15:19.236 --> 0:15:22.636 having it revealed to me the West African influence in 0:15:22.716 --> 0:15:26.236 country music and in bluegrass music and all these musics 0:15:26.236 --> 0:15:30.556 that people have identified with being like southern white Christian, 0:15:31.236 --> 0:15:34.636 like all of my favorite things basically were happening at once. 0:15:35.076 --> 0:15:37.996 I could pursue music in a way where my way 0:15:37.996 --> 0:15:41.116 of doing it was was recognized, and I was like 0:15:41.196 --> 0:15:45.596 having my entire idea of music and history and culture challenged. 0:15:46.156 --> 0:15:48.796 And I was also seeing where I fit in as 0:15:49.316 --> 0:15:51.956 a black girl who grew up in like you know, 0:15:52.036 --> 0:15:56.276 conservative white Christian you know area, where I fit in 0:15:56.276 --> 0:16:00.516 in this world and in like the larger story of history, 0:16:00.796 --> 0:16:02.956 You didn't know about the West African influence. All I 0:16:03.036 --> 0:16:05.956 knew about bluegrass was the Beverly Hillbillies. That's literally all 0:16:05.956 --> 0:16:09.516 I knew. So I walked in completely unaware of anything, 0:16:09.876 --> 0:16:12.996 you know, with an intellectual curiosity to just like see 0:16:12.996 --> 0:16:15.116 what all of what's all this bluegrass about? And then 0:16:15.156 --> 0:16:18.036 it led me into old Time? Do you remember what 0:16:18.076 --> 0:16:21.076 the songs were that first captured you or were their 0:16:21.116 --> 0:16:24.676 performers from old time that you just gravitated towards. I 0:16:24.716 --> 0:16:28.196 would say Doc Watson, the Carter Family, learning about like 0:16:28.276 --> 0:16:30.916 Leslie Riddle and how like he played such a huge 0:16:30.996 --> 0:16:33.716 role in development of like the Carter Family and there 0:16:33.836 --> 0:16:37.476 and their success Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee. The one 0:16:37.596 --> 0:16:40.396 band that really kind of solidified for me I need 0:16:40.436 --> 0:16:44.396 to pursue this is the Carolina Chocolate Drops because they 0:16:44.396 --> 0:16:47.676 were the first black stream man that I'd ever heard of. 0:16:48.156 --> 0:16:51.916 They were all like living, breathing in the here and 0:16:51.996 --> 0:16:55.396 now and the way that they played the music was 0:16:55.516 --> 0:17:01.236 so exciting and like once I saw them, which is 0:17:01.236 --> 0:17:05.076 why I'm an advocate that you know, representation matters. Seeing 0:17:05.236 --> 0:17:08.676 someone that looks like you doing something is something that 0:17:08.716 --> 0:17:11.476 you know A lot of people kind of take for granted. 0:17:11.596 --> 0:17:14.156 It was just a really inspiring moment where I was 0:17:14.196 --> 0:17:16.076 just like, all right, well, I'm going to stick with 0:17:16.116 --> 0:17:18.476 this old time thing because like there's something to it 0:17:18.596 --> 0:17:21.996 and it's giving me this sense of purpose that I 0:17:21.996 --> 0:17:26.236 didn't really feel I had prior. Amazing. And then later 0:17:26.356 --> 0:17:28.676 when you played with Our Native Daughters, you played with 0:17:28.916 --> 0:17:31.676 Rihanna and Giddens. Yeah, so with Rihanna and Giddens. I 0:17:31.676 --> 0:17:36.556 actually met her prior to Our Native Daughters. She saw 0:17:36.596 --> 0:17:40.916 me perform at Cambridge Folk Festival on like a there 0:17:40.956 --> 0:17:44.236 was like a YouTube video. This is in twenty sixteen. 0:17:44.276 --> 0:17:46.436 She always looks for like a people of color to 0:17:46.476 --> 0:17:49.916 open for her, and her agent reached out to me, 0:17:50.196 --> 0:17:52.436 so I actually got to meet her and like opened 0:17:52.476 --> 0:17:55.116 for her, which was amazing. I mean, she's such an 0:17:55.156 --> 0:18:00.356 incredible performer and is such a brilliant mind. So when 0:18:00.356 --> 0:18:03.676 she asked me to do Our Native Daughters, first of all, 0:18:03.716 --> 0:18:08.676 the answer was a resounding yes. Because I had a 0:18:08.716 --> 0:18:11.436 shut up and sing policy for really really long time. 0:18:12.196 --> 0:18:16.076 You know, this was an opportunity to be like, Okay, 0:18:16.116 --> 0:18:18.876 here's a way that I can talk about this history 0:18:18.996 --> 0:18:22.476 that I've known about and had discussions about, but never 0:18:22.636 --> 0:18:27.476 ventured into singing about. Because of the audience that I 0:18:27.516 --> 0:18:30.916 had garnered, I was worried that I was going to 0:18:30.996 --> 0:18:33.956 get backlash that I wasn't one of those like, you know, 0:18:34.436 --> 0:18:37.596 safe black people that just you know, smile and dance 0:18:37.676 --> 0:18:39.996 and don't say anything to rock the boat. That's kind 0:18:40.036 --> 0:18:42.316 of the role that I put myself in. So this 0:18:42.396 --> 0:18:44.956 was an opportunity to just like throw caution to the 0:18:44.996 --> 0:18:48.676 wind and step forward with like four amazingly talented black 0:18:48.716 --> 0:18:52.796 women and have that courage and strength to like talk 0:18:52.836 --> 0:18:56.476 about this about the Transtlantic slave trade and how it affected, 0:18:56.716 --> 0:18:59.516 you know, the America's But at the same time, it 0:18:59.556 --> 0:19:03.076 was also like I went from opening for Rhiannagtens to 0:19:03.236 --> 0:19:07.236 now like being a colleague, and so that was also 0:19:07.316 --> 0:19:09.516 very intimidating because I'm just like, oh my God, Like 0:19:09.756 --> 0:19:11.396 who am I to be on this project? Like at 0:19:11.396 --> 0:19:12.636 the end of the day, it was just kind of 0:19:12.636 --> 0:19:14.596 like I'm you know, I went for it. Anyway, even 0:19:14.636 --> 0:19:17.596 though I was very nervous and very like, you know, intimidated, 0:19:17.716 --> 0:19:20.596 I was also like, well, I have to do it. 0:19:20.676 --> 0:19:24.196 I have to this is so important. What I got 0:19:24.196 --> 0:19:27.276 from that experience was so much more than I think 0:19:27.316 --> 0:19:29.356 I even realized I was going to get. It was 0:19:29.436 --> 0:19:33.036 for the first time I actually had this sense of 0:19:33.076 --> 0:19:35.756 like telling the story of my ancestors, like I've heard 0:19:35.796 --> 0:19:39.996 people use the term ancestors when talking about doing things, 0:19:40.236 --> 0:19:42.396 and that seemed like such a foreign concept to me, 0:19:42.556 --> 0:19:46.116 because I spent so much of my life seeing myself 0:19:46.156 --> 0:19:48.316 as like a loan on an island for a really 0:19:48.316 --> 0:19:51.476 long time because of my social anxiety, and then with 0:19:51.556 --> 0:19:56.036 my fear of rejection, I built walls and kept distance 0:19:56.116 --> 0:19:59.436 emotionally from people so I wouldn't get disappointed by them 0:19:59.516 --> 0:20:02.356 later because I just didn't trust people to ever truly 0:20:02.356 --> 0:20:05.756 care about me, to actually be in a situation where 0:20:05.756 --> 0:20:08.916 it's like, you know what, there is so much more 0:20:09.316 --> 0:20:11.836 to this world than just me and how I'm feeling 0:20:12.276 --> 0:20:14.596 and what I say and do and how I am 0:20:15.156 --> 0:20:19.636 does affect other people. Feeling a connection with something that 0:20:19.796 --> 0:20:22.636 is hundreds of years old and all of us as 0:20:22.676 --> 0:20:25.916 women of color, still feeling the repercussions of what the 0:20:25.916 --> 0:20:31.196 Transatlantic slave trade like established for how black people should 0:20:31.196 --> 0:20:34.636 be treated and viewed, and seeing how that still affects 0:20:34.676 --> 0:20:38.476 us in our daily lives. Knowing the people before us, 0:20:38.836 --> 0:20:42.116 all that they had to endure, and then for me 0:20:42.196 --> 0:20:45.036 to be able to have the opportunities that I have now, 0:20:45.756 --> 0:20:48.476 it's like, the least I can do is sing a 0:20:48.556 --> 0:20:53.796 song and whatever backlash were to happen. So what like, 0:20:54.516 --> 0:20:56.436 if the people before me can handle what was thrown 0:20:56.476 --> 0:20:59.636 at them, being brought over on a slave ship, being 0:20:59.676 --> 0:21:04.796 whipped and beaten, being segregated, being chased out of office 0:21:04.876 --> 0:21:08.796 during reconstruction by white supremacists, if all of those people 0:21:08.796 --> 0:21:11.636 can survive through that, for me to be here now, 0:21:12.116 --> 0:21:15.796 like I really don't have an excuse to not do 0:21:15.956 --> 0:21:19.796 my part in this aspect of history. Did that help 0:21:19.836 --> 0:21:24.036 your writer's block too? Oh? Yeah, it really did. It 0:21:24.076 --> 0:21:28.996 gave me the courage to like write and speak about things, 0:21:29.276 --> 0:21:32.836 not just about how I'm feeling personally, which that's obviously 0:21:32.916 --> 0:21:36.076 very important, but to be able to like look outside 0:21:36.076 --> 0:21:39.636 of myself and like make commentary about things that I 0:21:39.716 --> 0:21:42.716 see that I and really like stating what my beliefs 0:21:42.716 --> 0:21:45.956 are about certain issues. So a lot of my newer 0:21:45.956 --> 0:21:49.156 songs that I'm writing now involve a lot more like 0:21:49.836 --> 0:21:53.436 social commentary than my previous records. So there's still gonna 0:21:53.436 --> 0:21:56.396 be like the deeply personal stuff that'll always be part 0:21:56.436 --> 0:21:58.876 of what I write, of course, But now I'm not 0:21:58.996 --> 0:22:01.596 afraid to, like, you know, speak my mind on certain 0:22:01.636 --> 0:22:05.596 things anymore, which such a relief. We'll be right back 0:22:05.596 --> 0:22:12.916 with Amethyskia after a quick break. We're back with more 0:22:13.036 --> 0:22:16.076 from Amethyst Kia and Bruce Hudlam and just a quick 0:22:16.116 --> 0:22:20.596 heads up. This segment contains discussion of suicide. Do you 0:22:20.596 --> 0:22:23.516 want to play another song? Yeah, let's do it. This 0:22:23.556 --> 0:22:45.556 one is called Firewater. Melancina always seemed a work for me, 0:22:47.356 --> 0:22:54.236 wistful and uncertain on my dreams. Starts farms into shapes 0:22:54.316 --> 0:23:02.316 that never lieve. Strange anderarything all see, I'm a ghost 0:23:02.356 --> 0:23:08.356 in the alle, in the room, everywhere I go in 0:23:08.516 --> 0:23:14.836 pending Dude, how many spirits does it take to lift 0:23:14.836 --> 0:23:21.436 the spirit? I don't know. I don't know because I 0:23:21.596 --> 0:23:25.756 bought every spirit and I'm still laying here, crying on 0:23:25.796 --> 0:23:35.236 the floor on the flood. So can you just leave me? Bee? 0:23:37.276 --> 0:23:43.036 Being drenched in fire water won't save me? How forsake 0:23:43.156 --> 0:23:49.476 the path of bealth Fleet? Can't he to sleep me? 0:23:49.636 --> 0:24:03.556 Be pens of stairs on the only crowns I've ever green? 0:24:04.916 --> 0:24:10.556 The dog I find the answers that I need city 0:24:10.636 --> 0:24:14.836 lights on the own stars. I have seen how many 0:24:14.956 --> 0:24:20.676 nights until I find and he can breathe? How many 0:24:20.676 --> 0:24:24.836 spirits does take to lift the spirit? I don't know. 0:24:26.116 --> 0:24:31.716 I don't know, as I bought every spirit and I'm 0:24:31.796 --> 0:24:41.756 still laying here crying on the floor, hunger flood. So 0:24:41.996 --> 0:24:48.036 can you just leave? Maybe being drenched the fire and 0:24:48.196 --> 0:24:54.596 water won't see me? Forsake the path of felth flee. 0:24:56.476 --> 0:25:02.116 Can't he just leave? Can you just leave? Can you 0:25:02.676 --> 0:25:23.756 just leave me? Maybe you learned a lot of Eastern Tennessee. 0:25:23.956 --> 0:25:27.676 The picking is just fabulous on that, thank you. Yeah. 0:25:28.316 --> 0:25:30.516 Prior to that, a lot of my fingerstyle picking was 0:25:30.716 --> 0:25:34.836 very much classically influenced. But once I started learning three fingerstyle, 0:25:35.316 --> 0:25:38.316 what's also been done is like Merle Travis style. Then 0:25:38.396 --> 0:25:40.756 it really opened things up for me. And then I've 0:25:40.756 --> 0:25:43.956 also been a fan of like percussive fingerstyle. I just 0:25:44.396 --> 0:25:47.636 love guitar and the different ways to play, so I 0:25:47.756 --> 0:25:50.116 kind of picked things up from here and there and 0:25:50.516 --> 0:25:53.276 have fun with it. So do you remember your first guitar? Yeah, 0:25:53.276 --> 0:25:57.796 my first guitar was a late eighties Fender Acoustic and 0:25:58.636 --> 0:26:00.796 my parents bought it for me at a place and 0:26:01.516 --> 0:26:05.516 Ring Gold, Georgia called the sound Post really really nice guys. 0:26:05.596 --> 0:26:07.436 That was like in North Georgia, not far from where 0:26:07.476 --> 0:26:10.116 I live in Chatanooga. Literally the first ten years of 0:26:10.116 --> 0:26:14.116 playing guitar, there's a thing inside some next of acoustic 0:26:14.156 --> 0:26:17.636 guitars called trust rods, and you can tighten it. Apparently 0:26:17.796 --> 0:26:20.756 the trust rod was like super loose when I got it, 0:26:20.956 --> 0:26:24.996 and so for years I just adapted to having to 0:26:25.036 --> 0:26:28.116 push down really hard on the strings. And I remember 0:26:28.116 --> 0:26:30.836 the first time I think it was one of my 0:26:31.596 --> 0:26:34.556 band directors at East to State University, because I had 0:26:34.556 --> 0:26:36.796 played other guitars and I'm like, for some reason, the 0:26:36.796 --> 0:26:39.596 other guitars are like a little bit easier to play, 0:26:39.636 --> 0:26:42.516 what's up with this one? And then my professor told me, oh, well, 0:26:42.556 --> 0:26:45.156 your trust rod is completely loose. And then it tightened 0:26:45.276 --> 0:26:47.316 because I was about to get a whole new guitar. 0:26:47.636 --> 0:26:49.996 So you had a really high action on the guitar. Yeah, 0:26:50.036 --> 0:26:52.436 the action was pretty high, but like I didn't know 0:26:52.476 --> 0:26:54.676 any better because I just played the same tar for years. 0:26:54.836 --> 0:26:56.436 And that's when I found out that my trust rod 0:26:56.556 --> 0:27:00.676 was too loose. I got it fixed, and then it 0:27:00.836 --> 0:27:03.516 just it played like a dream. So I just played 0:27:03.556 --> 0:27:06.516 this late eighties Fender for a really long time, and 0:27:06.516 --> 0:27:09.876 then I eventually bought a Martin Maha any O nine, 0:27:10.156 --> 0:27:12.796 which is basically like the sustainable Forrest version of a 0:27:12.876 --> 0:27:16.476 D eighteen. So that was like my first like guitar purchase, 0:27:16.636 --> 0:27:17.996 even though it took me two years to pay it 0:27:17.996 --> 0:27:20.436 off of my credit card. I have no regrets, so 0:27:21.436 --> 0:27:23.836 probably good for your hand. Yeah, it'd be like a 0:27:23.836 --> 0:27:26.436 guy playing like a trombone without a mouthpiece for ten 0:27:26.516 --> 0:27:28.236 years and someone says, you know, it's a lot easier 0:27:28.276 --> 0:27:30.956