Speaker 1: I leave, then I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 1: you claim and give us time and a termino and
Speaker 1: gage aid.
Speaker 2: We want to send you off in style.
Speaker 1: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do your need to ride?
Speaker 2: Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need
Speaker 2: a ride? This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 2: Hello, my friend Karen.
Speaker 1: Hello Chris. What's going down?
Speaker 3: Oh god, I've done so much today. Let's see, it's
Speaker 3: kind of overcast. I watched a video of octopus that
Speaker 3: punches fish, Yes, just out of spite, such a good one.
Speaker 3: And then I went down a little wormhole seeing if
Speaker 3: there's other octopus that are mean, and there are apparently
Speaker 3: an octopus. So yeah, they're the bullies of the sea.
Speaker 3: I know they have eight arms and they just I mean,
Speaker 3: they do that.
Speaker 1: They just do stuff like that all the time.
Speaker 2: Apparently. Yeah, did you by.
Speaker 1: Chance to watch the Netflix show My Octopus Teacher, which
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: Is the best title of all time I know of it,
Speaker 3: but I just assumed it was a documentary, so of
Speaker 3: course I didn't watch it.
Speaker 1: Same but I do this thing where I turn the
Speaker 1: TV on, I think I'm gonna shop around for a
Speaker 1: show to watch Netflix. Whatever it lands on, it starts
Speaker 1: rolling that like basically trailer for it, and then I
Speaker 1: just get up and do other stuff and listen to
Speaker 1: the trailer five times before I come back to the TV.
Speaker 1: So I feel like I knew I don't want to
Speaker 1: watch a dude go on a journey where he's taught
Speaker 1: by an octopus, Like if I realized that in watching
Speaker 1: that trailer where I was just like, I'm sure it's
Speaker 1: actually kind of very moving and cool and they have
Speaker 1: emotions and stuff octopuses do, but I don't care.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And now that I know, they just teach you
Speaker 3: the ways of sea violence.
Speaker 1: What's really good is that in that video you were
Speaker 1: talking about, the octopus punches up fish as if he's
Speaker 1: not looking. That's what it looks like in the video.
Speaker 1: So it's like the fish comes up, it looks like
Speaker 1: the octopus isn't looking that direction, and yet the arm
Speaker 1: goes out and punches.
Speaker 2: Oh you've seen the very video.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's the best.
Speaker 3: It's a fish that's just coming to say hi slowly
Speaker 3: in a non aggressive swim, what's up? And he just
Speaker 3: does a side punch with number four right under the
Speaker 3: coral reef.
Speaker 1: It's really it's really delightful. Second only to that, there's
Speaker 1: the one video of the octopus and it looks like
Speaker 1: he's running on some of his legs while he's holding
Speaker 1: like some sort of a shell or something. So he's
Speaker 1: like running and then hiding and running and hiding. Have
Speaker 1: you seen that one?
Speaker 2: No, in a place like fashion, or he's actually.
Speaker 1: Trying to I think he's trying to hide from maybe
Speaker 1: the cameraman that's filming him or something. But it's like
Speaker 1: he's got he got himself, you know, a half a coconut,
Speaker 1: and he's kind of like trying to get out of there,
Speaker 1: and then he just baiales and like goes under there
Speaker 1: and hides.
Speaker 2: What's this a cartoon? What's this SpongeBob?
Speaker 1: This is SpongeBob squar pairs there it is? There's a
Speaker 1: pineapple squid that plays the clarinet.
Speaker 2: A squirrel with.
Speaker 3: An astronaut helmet that's really a fish bowl from the South.
Speaker 1: Can I do my brag about Sandy Squirrel. Yeah, even
Speaker 1: though I've told this story a thousand times on this podcast.
Speaker 3: Long enough that I've forgotten, but that's most things perfect.
Speaker 1: Sandy Squirrel was my neighbor in the last neighborhood I
Speaker 1: lived the woman who played Sandy Squirrel, Carolyn Lawrence, who's
Speaker 1: a lovely human being, a very successful realtor. I just
Speaker 1: feel like I'm pronouncing that wrong. And she lived on
Speaker 1: the end of my street, and so she and I
Speaker 1: just started talking when she moved into that house. And
Speaker 1: then eventually I was just like have we met before?
Speaker 1: Do I know you? And She's like, I'm Sandy Squirrel.
Speaker 2: Oh that's so great.
Speaker 1: And it was like I've never been that star Stark
Speaker 1: in my life, like I'm a true fan.
Speaker 3: And then with that she became a realtor or she
Speaker 3: just because you know, like the guy that did the
Speaker 3: voice of Tigger I've said a million times he helped
Speaker 3: he and patented one of the first artificial heart valves.
Speaker 3: No one knows that you know these A lot of
Speaker 3: these voiceover artists have other gigs.
Speaker 1: They're multi talented. Tom Kenny. He does other voiceover work. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's not heart surgery. No.
Speaker 3: He came up with one of the first hot air balloons.
Speaker 3: A lot of people don't know that about Tom Kinny.
Speaker 1: About Tom Kenny. Yeah, yeah, he invented the original hot
Speaker 1: air balloon.
Speaker 3: Based on a sketch by Da Vinci. But he's the
Speaker 3: one he sewed it. He got a big old basket
Speaker 3: d eight dollars.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and put a squirrel. He started with a squirrel,
Speaker 2: put it in flight.
Speaker 3: No one ever saw it again, and that's when he
Speaker 3: knew it worked. And making things up. That's how we know.
Speaker 3: My chicanery should conclude, and we should bring in today's guest.
Speaker 3: Today's guest very excited. You know her and you love her.
Speaker 3: She plays clubs and colleges all over the country. Please welcome,
Speaker 3: ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for suba argall.
Speaker 4: Hi.
Speaker 2: So many college how's that college going is?
Speaker 1: How are the colleges these days in this woke environment?
Speaker 4: Oh man, these kids and they're canceled culture?
Speaker 2: Am I right?
Speaker 4: Get off every stage? They keep having me back?
Speaker 1: How are you? We've never I don't think we've met
Speaker 1: in person, but I follow you on Twitter and you're hilarious.
Speaker 4: Oh, thank you. That's very kind of you. It is
Speaker 4: like weird because I listen to my favorite murder a lot,
Speaker 4: so it is like weird when I'm like, it's like
Speaker 4: that you think you're familiar with somebody because you follow them,
Speaker 4: and so you have to like watch what you say,
Speaker 4: so you're not a psychopath.
Speaker 1: Where you can't really let on that you kind of
Speaker 1: know about them in a way they don't know about exactly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like I have some dogs to it, but make
Speaker 4: noise and I'm like, oh do you, And I'm like,
Speaker 4: don't say anything weird.
Speaker 2: I love that. That's sweet. And I'm sure you're very
Speaker 2: familiar with me as well.
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 3: You started writing jokes when you're sixteen. That's so amazing
Speaker 3: to me. And I wondered if you could remember what
Speaker 3: kind of jokes you wrote back then.
Speaker 4: Oh god, they were so bad. I'm like so grateful.
Speaker 4: Social media wasn't around when I started, Oh my god,
Speaker 4: because like the thing was I there was a comedian.
Speaker 4: The reason I got into stand up comedy was a
Speaker 4: comic named Russell Peters.
Speaker 2: Yeah from Canada.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he was like the first I think South Asian
Speaker 4: comic a lot of us had seen, and so like
Speaker 4: he did, a lot of Indian people are like this,
Speaker 4: and like all these groups are like that or whatever,
Speaker 4: and I was trying to imitate him. But the difference
Speaker 4: was I grew up in like a mostly white soul,
Speaker 4: so I had no idea what I was talking about.
Speaker 4: So I started doing stand up at this part billiards club,
Speaker 4: part open mic that unfortunately I heard shut down. But
Speaker 4: although maybe that's for the best.
Speaker 1: It sounds like it really does truly.
Speaker 4: But it was called Pressure Cafe, and it was in
Speaker 4: a really Indian part of Chicago next to Devon Avenue.
Speaker 4: So I would like, come and I would tell jokes
Speaker 4: about my family and about what I thought Indian people,
Speaker 4: what I imagined we were like. There would be like
Speaker 4: room full of like just angry Indian people. Just don't
Speaker 4: face me. They're like, we're not like that. And I
Speaker 4: was like, Oh, I have to stop doing this.
Speaker 1: That is rough. That's like it's not just the average
Speaker 1: audience being like I don't know. It's like people were
Speaker 1: in like we're here to fact check you. This is incorrect.
Speaker 2: That's why they called it pressure.
Speaker 3: Did people at least stop playing pool while you performed
Speaker 3: or could you just hear the clacking of balls your
Speaker 3: whole set?
Speaker 4: I'm trying to remember. I don't think there was a
Speaker 4: lot of pool going on while the show was going on.
Speaker 4: I think they may have stopped the billiards for the shows,
Speaker 4: which thank god.
Speaker 2: That's a good time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean also an open mic, not even like
Speaker 1: a structured Joe, but just kind of like, hey, get
Speaker 1: up there and see what you can do, or go
Speaker 1: ahead and play some snooker. It's up to you.
Speaker 2: And you had to get a fake ID to go
Speaker 2: in there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, not pressure because like and again I
Speaker 4: feel like it changed now where everybody cards, but most
Speaker 4: bars in Chicago at the time did not give a shit.
Speaker 4: And I looked young, like I like young for my
Speaker 4: age now. When I was like seventeen sixteen, I looked
Speaker 4: like a child. And not only did I look like
Speaker 4: a child, I was so socially awkward, and I had
Speaker 4: my high school backpack with me and I was in
Speaker 4: advanced classes, so they were full of just thick, thick
Speaker 4: textbook So I was like hunch Star, clearly a kid.
Speaker 4: Like my t I eighty three was like falling on
Speaker 4: my backpack and I'm walking into the bar, and nobody
Speaker 4: said anything.
Speaker 1: They were like, give her a chance.
Speaker 3: I think about that all the time, though, because comics
Speaker 3: are getting younger and younger, and they're getting good at
Speaker 3: stand up. Immediately I wonder where, because even to have
Speaker 3: young fans come to a show, it's impossible if they
Speaker 3: aren't over twenty one.
Speaker 2: That's always been a problem.
Speaker 4: I mean, eventually I got a fake ID because it
Speaker 4: started getting stricter and stricter. Some dude in the back
Speaker 4: of a hookah lounge in Pittsburgh gave me an ID
Speaker 4: he claimed scanned.
Speaker 2: And you wanted to vote.
Speaker 4: Probably that's really what it was. I was like, I
Speaker 4: got to get into politics.
Speaker 1: So you really started stand up at sixteen. Technically at
Speaker 1: seventeen seventeen.
Speaker 4: I started writing jokes at sixteen because I didn't think
Speaker 4: I could get on stage. I thought I was too young.
Speaker 4: And then a world history teacher came in bragging about
Speaker 4: an all ages open mike. He did he was trying
Speaker 4: to look cool to all the kids. No, but I
Speaker 4: did go to the MICA nice.
Speaker 1: Now, did you get to mix, like get some comedy friends,
Speaker 1: or did you just kind of like treat it like
Speaker 1: your secret after school career.
Speaker 4: I did. I did get because it was like right
Speaker 4: when I was graduating high school, so it was like
Speaker 4: I kind of started. Actually, no, that's not true. I
Speaker 4: formed some really good friendships, and I think that was
Speaker 4: probably like the best because I was too young to
Speaker 4: realize what I was getting into. So I was like
Speaker 4: full of hope and like excitement and like naiveness and
Speaker 4: like all you and all of your friends like go
Speaker 4: to open mics together. There isn't like you're too new
Speaker 4: for like show business to be weird or make it
Speaker 4: weird or for people to get So I think that
Speaker 4: was the best because you're like, oh man, this is
Speaker 4: this cool thing we're doing. All of my friends are
Speaker 4: with me. It was yeah, that was super cool.
Speaker 2: Were they mostly older friends? Oh yeah yeah, oh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, super creepy that they were hanging out with me.
Speaker 3: Yeah on paper, But I when I started skateboarding and
Speaker 3: I was in about that, I was fourteen or fifteen.
Speaker 3: I had friends that were twenty and I'm in retrospect,
Speaker 3: I think it was pretty healthy.
Speaker 2: I did learn about things a little early.
Speaker 3: But because they were good people, they were like, don't
Speaker 3: do like us, you know, as they blow a cigarette
Speaker 3: smoke in my face.
Speaker 2: But comedy was like that too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, comedy is I think there are people who
Speaker 1: recognize most of the time, it's like there's people who
Speaker 1: went through terrible shit themselves, so like when they see
Speaker 1: a younger person, it's kind of like, you know, pull
Speaker 1: them in and make sure that it's not a horrifying situation.
Speaker 1: I hope at least some comics that.
Speaker 4: Was thrown to the wolves.
Speaker 1: But is a tough town.
Speaker 4: But I think it's much better now because it's like
Speaker 4: that was like, oh god, how old am I? That
Speaker 4: was like fifteen sixteen years ago. So it's like people
Speaker 4: there's like so many more women and like even like
Speaker 4: Indians doing comedy, Like there's a group of comics in
Speaker 4: Los Angeles called Facial Wreck, and it's like a group
Speaker 4: of Indian girls who started comedy would be like, we're
Speaker 4: not the same person because we kept getting mixed up.
Speaker 1: Fai.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: Who else is in it?
Speaker 4: Okay? So Physicalsani probably began Zara Ali. I think those
Speaker 4: are the three main producer and then Jen Jollie's in.
Speaker 4: They're a lot and so it's kuran deal. I'm not
Speaker 4: a producer. I just do the show a lot. But
Speaker 4: it was mind blowing to me that there were enough
Speaker 4: of us and they were like annoyed enough to start
Speaker 4: this group where I was like, that was not the
Speaker 4: case like fifteen years ago, and it's so cool and
Speaker 4: I think it's like a better environment for young girls
Speaker 4: now for sure. It was like back then it was
Speaker 4: just like I was, oh my god, because like I
Speaker 4: didn't even understand like half of what was going on
Speaker 4: around me because I was shelltert like sheltered, like I
Speaker 4: thought popping a cherry was a bartender trick with a
Speaker 4: Martino cherry. Like I don't know anything. So it was crazy.
Speaker 4: Like I turned eighteen and then one of the the
Speaker 4: like some host of a show was like, and she's legal,
Speaker 4: and I was like, for what, Like I didn't.
Speaker 1: Know anything bad, And in that I mean, yeah, that's rough.
Speaker 4: It was craiser.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the boys can be kind of gross sometimes well,
Speaker 1: but also you know, and then it's like in the
Speaker 1: name of comedy. When I started, I was twenty and
Speaker 1: it was the it was in nineteen ninety, so there
Speaker 1: was some Yeah, there's some pretty insane shit that you're
Speaker 1: just like either go along with it or leave but
Speaker 1: those there's no other choice. There's no there's no kind
Speaker 1: of standing up to it. It's like are you a
Speaker 1: part of this or not? So I love the idea
Speaker 1: that at least these days, there's enough exposure and people
Speaker 1: can watch other people do comedy like from their room
Speaker 1: on YouTube or whatever, where they can kind of teach
Speaker 1: themselves how to do it, so by the time they
Speaker 1: get to an open mic, they you know, can handle
Speaker 1: it a little bit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was kind of how I learned because my
Speaker 4: parents had like an illegal cable hookup they don't even
Speaker 4: fully understand. So it's like you could watch one thing
Speaker 4: because the signal was split somehow, so you could watch
Speaker 4: one thing on the TV, and then the VCR could
Speaker 4: record our the whatever it was could record what was
Speaker 4: playing like a different channel. So I would just record
Speaker 4: Comedy Central and then I would wait for my parents
Speaker 4: to go to sleep, and then I would watch Comedy
Speaker 4: Central just like all night and then like that's how
Speaker 4: I was like trying to learn how to do jokes,
Speaker 4: which was kind of like weird and fragmented because I
Speaker 4: feel like a lot of comics like they listened to
Speaker 4: albums or their parents like gave them comedy albums and
Speaker 4: was like, oh, this is Bill Hicks, but like, I
Speaker 4: just knew Premium Blend, and shit, it was great, and
Speaker 4: I would be like, oh, I love that joke. I
Speaker 4: saw that a Premium Blend, and people would be like,
Speaker 4: that was Bill Hicks, you idiot, and.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, yeah, you're getting everyone in seven minute snippets.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, clip shows and yeah. I did a Premium
Speaker 1: Blend set that was so terrible. I think I got
Speaker 1: cut from the episode. It was back when I was
Speaker 1: still drinking, and it was kind of in the midst
Speaker 1: of that like alt comedy thing where it's like bring
Speaker 1: your notebook on stage and talk about your day and
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. And I had a set,
Speaker 1: but I was being very casual about it or it's
Speaker 1: just like I'll figure it out when I get there.
Speaker 1: And then it was like in this theater and it
Speaker 1: was just this gigantic audience. I think the audience had
Speaker 1: like eight hundred people in it and they bust them
Speaker 1: in and so instead of it being like a comedy
Speaker 1: club audience, it was it was kind of like it
Speaker 1: felt like a stadium almost, and I was just like,
Speaker 1: I had like three jokes in the beginning that were good,
Speaker 1: and then it just kind of went way off kilter,
Speaker 1: and that's kind of the last I heard of it,
Speaker 1: just like it was like and then we spoke no more.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they really tricked that audience too, because they used
Speaker 3: to have them all go into I believe it was
Speaker 3: called the Hudson Theater where I did it, and the
Speaker 3: audience would they just thought they were watching one episode
Speaker 3: of four comics, but they would keep them there all
Speaker 3: day for like three tapings, and by the end, I remember,
Speaker 3: they're very tired, and they just wanted to do a
Speaker 3: fun vacation thing like like being on prices right or
Speaker 3: something like right, wait, we have to sit here and
Speaker 3: worry about continuity.
Speaker 1: And back then, I feel like audiences would show up
Speaker 1: and be like, let's go to do this as a
Speaker 1: you know, an activity, as opposed to comedy fans the
Speaker 1: way it is now, where it's like people go to
Speaker 1: see specific comedians and they like comedy and it's a
Speaker 1: whole attitude, whereas like in the nineties, it truly was
Speaker 1: people that were like, we'll have a drink and listen
Speaker 1: to whoever's on stage. It was very like reversed in
Speaker 1: that way. Where they were like the opposite of comedy nerds.
Speaker 1: They were kind of like comedy resistant a little bit,
Speaker 1: and you had to really like find them and get
Speaker 1: them and bring them all the way in which, of
Speaker 1: course I've never been able. That's just not how I
Speaker 1: do it. It's like, if you don't like me, then good,
Speaker 1: I don't like you either. Now what do we do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 3: That was back when I started early two thousand, I
Speaker 3: guess ninety nine. It was a bar on Sixth Street
Speaker 3: in Austin, and they would there was a guy on
Speaker 3: the sidewalk that was bringing people in. Sometimes again like
Speaker 3: they were just being polite coming in, but they were
Speaker 3: so drunk they didn't even know what they were about
Speaker 3: to watch, and then they were held captive. It's so
Speaker 3: funny people go there on purpose. Now the Velvety room's
Speaker 3: doing great.
Speaker 4: Yes, there's a club in New York that I played
Speaker 4: when I was younger. That's like it's like lol comedy.
Speaker 4: It's in Times Square. It's like famous for They would
Speaker 4: just like give tickets to these people on the streets
Speaker 4: who were like, oh, some of them were like visibly
Speaker 4: strung out. I'm like, they're not like Reppert, which also
Speaker 4: like you're buying tickets from a person who is sweating
Speaker 4: in a trench coat, Like, obviously this isn't what you're
Speaker 4: actually like, you're not he doesn't have Chris Rock tickets.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. The promise of comedy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and like people would come into those shows and like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, they would be constantly getting scammed, like
Speaker 4: we thought we were going to see Amy Schumer. And
Speaker 4: then it's just like poor people been like doing this
Speaker 4: for five years and you're like, uh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: And the back of the room is all vice cops
Speaker 3: that came in because they thought they just saw a
Speaker 3: trench coat drug deal.
Speaker 2: We tell you to slip them the paper.
Speaker 1: It's acid got that that owner owns like LOL Comedy
Speaker 1: and the strip club two doors down, and it just
Speaker 1: like whatever makes the most money, whatever, whichever one sells
Speaker 1: more drinks.
Speaker 4: I know there was. There was like a comic one
Speaker 4: time who got into a fight with audience where he
Speaker 4: was like literally holding up I think it was chairs.
Speaker 4: There was a chair fight.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: I was like, this is this is crazy.
Speaker 1: But if you can make it there at LOL Comedy, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean for real, actually.
Speaker 4: You can make it to therapy and stop.
Speaker 1: We needs to be there. Figure out why you want
Speaker 1: to do this. It's such a mistake.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I did a club in Calgary once and that was
Speaker 3: the problem they had with me is because they are
Speaker 3: in the business of selling drinks. And the owner said,
Speaker 3: you don't Your comedy doesn't sell drinks. And it was
Speaker 3: such a funny way to think about I guess I
Speaker 3: gotta do more references to thirst quenching, like to tell
Speaker 3: stories about a canteen filled with sand. I don't know, Like, what,
Speaker 3: how do you make people buy drinks? I think he
Speaker 3: just meant I wasn't like a party comic. I think
Speaker 3: that used to be the thing.
Speaker 2: You're supposed to do.
Speaker 3: Drink up you guys drinking. You're supposed to mention it
Speaker 3: during your act.
Speaker 1: How many people here are alcoholics? Improve it? Improve it.
Speaker 2: Did? What did you go to college for?
Speaker 4: Oh, nothing related to any of this. I I okay.
Speaker 4: So I started as a bio engineer and then I
Speaker 4: went to the University of Pittsburgh because they gave me
Speaker 4: a scholarship and I was like, Oh, Pittsburgh, it'll it's
Speaker 4: a big city. It'll have like a robust comedy scene.
Speaker 4: It's like, should have googled that. I showed up there,
Speaker 4: and then I found out even though I had been
Speaker 4: like forced into all these advanced classes and I was
Speaker 4: technically starting, I think as a sophomore or junior or something,
Speaker 4: it was gonna take me like four years in Pittsburgh
Speaker 4: to finish my degree as a bio engineer. And I
Speaker 4: was like, absolutely not. I'm not staying in Pittsburgh for
Speaker 4: four years. I can't. And my roommate was like, Oh,
Speaker 4: why don't you be an actuary old mathematician. My dad
Speaker 4: tells me there's tons of jobs in New York. And
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I mean, and this is like
Speaker 4: an obnoxious thing to say, but I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: math is easy for me. I can do that, and
Speaker 4: then just like focus on comedy. So I without looking
Speaker 4: into it at all, I legitimately changed my major overnight
Speaker 4: and I became an actuaryal mathematician. And here's the thing,
Speaker 4: if you don't know about actuary. They have these like
Speaker 4: licensing exams you have to take, and these these these
Speaker 4: books to study for them are like like eight inches thick,
Speaker 4: hundreds of it. He was crazy to.
Speaker 2: Comedy shows in a backpack.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't know any of the exams because I
Speaker 4: didn't research what I was dedicating my life to because
Speaker 4: I'm stupid. And I got that book and I saw
Speaker 4: what I had to do and realized it hit me
Speaker 4: for the first time after I'd already changed once and
Speaker 4: I had like my first full blown panic attack, and
Speaker 4: then I realized that's what I had been having on stage,
Speaker 4: like slightly from.
Speaker 1: This familiar I was like, I couldn't.
Speaker 4: Feel my hands and I couldn't breathe. I was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, That's what happens when I'm on stage.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, is that panic?
Speaker 3: So is that like taking statistic like social statistics and
Speaker 3: the like you I don't know where that nactuary is.
Speaker 4: It's like you, uh, financially model risk, I think is
Speaker 4: like the official definition. So and then you can work
Speaker 4: for a property and casualty or you can work for
Speaker 4: life or insurance and then you can like there's a
Speaker 4: lot of things you can do with it, so for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So just the worst I did.
Speaker 3: That was the one thing in college though that because
Speaker 3: I unlike you did not excel in math, but that
Speaker 3: was the statistics class was one I had. I was
Speaker 3: failing and I was trying and I still was getting
Speaker 3: an a F even though I was putting so much
Speaker 3: effort into it.
Speaker 2: And I thought, okay, I'm not I.
Speaker 3: Can't remember what job that leads to. But we also
Speaker 3: had a graphic calculator.
Speaker 4: It's funny because like my friend who is like actually
Speaker 4: dedicated to being an actuary and was still chill with me.
Speaker 4: He was like, you know, the other actuaries hate you,
Speaker 4: and I was like, y'all hang out and he was
Speaker 4: like yeah, He's like, you don't find any of the
Speaker 4: work and you're doing great and they know you don't care.
Speaker 4: They hate your guts.
Speaker 2: I wass.
Speaker 1: So wait, did you get your degree in that?
Speaker 4: I did? I almost dropped out, but then a comic
Speaker 4: in New York was like, you have one more semester
Speaker 4: finished your I was.
Speaker 1: Like okay, well yeah, and that comic was Russell Peters.
Speaker 2: Have you use Does he know that you?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: I mean it's like weird, we keep like missing each other,
Speaker 4: but hopefully one day.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: There is that is someone that I have never seen
Speaker 3: someone kill a room so hard.
Speaker 2: I've just seen him like at the ice house.
Speaker 1: Har He's very yeah, crushes.
Speaker 3: Crushes so god. He does not have a plan. B.
Speaker 3: It's just a crush.
Speaker 1: So did you ever work? Did you try to get
Speaker 1: a job with that degree while you were doing comedy? Like?
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, So here's what happened. I wanted the job
Speaker 4: so somebody would pay me and move to New York.
Speaker 4: That was a whole goal, and they did. They New
Speaker 4: York Life hired me, which was a mistake. I think
Speaker 4: when I was turning there over the summer, I convinced
Speaker 4: another intern to hide behind a door because the third
Speaker 4: person was like late for the meeting, and we jumped
Speaker 4: out and it wasn't the third intern, it was the
Speaker 4: hiring manager coming.
Speaker 1: To check.
Speaker 4: I to this day, I just remember her blonder flying
Speaker 4: in the darkness and her clipboard going across the room,
Speaker 4: and I was like, that should have been your first
Speaker 4: morning sign not to hire me. But I did. They
Speaker 4: hired me. And the thing is they when you initially
Speaker 4: because there are so many licensing seeing exams, it takes
Speaker 4: years to become fully licensed, so they give you paid
Speaker 4: time off to study. So I was just doing open
Speaker 4: mics and sleeping until three pm. So I took the
Speaker 4: job and I did the job. I was fine, but
Speaker 4: I knew I was going to fail that exam, and
Speaker 4: fail it hard because I hadn't even opened the book
Speaker 4: and I was such a good two shoes. All my
Speaker 4: coworkers were like, yet people fail all the time. They
Speaker 4: just move you to a different part of the company,
Speaker 4: don't worry. And I just couldn't accept failing, so I quit,
Speaker 4: which was dumb because I didn't read my contract and
Speaker 4: I had to give back my signing bonus. You have
Speaker 4: a stating. I was literally walking down the streets in
Speaker 4: New York and I just started crying because I was
Speaker 4: like so young, I didn't understand money or like what
Speaker 4: I was doing. And then I just remember this toddler
Speaker 4: who like started to walk over to me, and then
Speaker 4: his dad grabbed the kids on me. He's like, oh no, no, no, honey,
Speaker 4: we don't go near that.
Speaker 1: No brain, no actuarial breakdowns. He cannot handle what she
Speaker 1: is going through right now.
Speaker 2: It's a lesson every toddler must learn.
Speaker 1: So are you the kind of person that you can, like,
Speaker 1: if someone's like, what's the tip on this bill? You
Speaker 1: just know it immediately, Like math is just very natural
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 4: It used to be. I think my brain's atrophied, like genuinely.
Speaker 4: After I like got out of actuarial math. In that program,
Speaker 4: I like never look at it again because I had
Speaker 4: zero passion for it. I didn't want anything to do
Speaker 4: with it. Yeah, I just thought I needed a backup.
Speaker 4: I mean, like I wish, I wish I had parents
Speaker 4: who had been just like a little bit supportive, because
Speaker 4: like I would have like studied writing or acting or
Speaker 4: something that I actually like had to go back and
Speaker 4: learn on my own later instead of like a skill
Speaker 4: set that I never used. But my mom my whole
Speaker 4: my mom's whole thing was I was going to be
Speaker 4: a homeless prostitute if I didn't go and like be
Speaker 4: an engineer. So I was like, oh, I have to
Speaker 4: have a backup thing. So I was like, oh, that'll
Speaker 4: be my thing. And then of course it was just
Speaker 4: completely utterly useless.
Speaker 1: It's so specific. I mean, we have our family friends.
Speaker 1: It's my sister's best friend, her husband's family is Sri Lankan,
Speaker 1: and my niece, when she was like four years old,
Speaker 1: kept telling people she wanted to be a cheerleader when
Speaker 1: she grew up like that, it so people be like,
Speaker 1: what do you want to be? And she be like
Speaker 1: a cheerleader. And Robin's mom push But when Nora said
Speaker 1: that to her, she goes, don't be a cheerleader, be
Speaker 1: a doctor. She was four years old. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I get it, I get this intensity. I understand. So cute,
Speaker 1: Oh so cute.
Speaker 2: I hope she became a cheerleader. I do.
Speaker 1: She's only a sophomore now, so she still has you know,
Speaker 1: all that all that's still in front of her. But
Speaker 1: we used to laugh so hard where it's like, really,
Speaker 1: she's four years old, you're not just going to kind
Speaker 1: of play along with this plan. But Pushbo was very
Speaker 1: afraid that she was taking that seriously and it's like,
Speaker 1: I need to get this out of your system now.
Speaker 1: It's don't no one wants you to do this.
Speaker 4: My mom really almost pulled me out of the Girl
Speaker 4: Scouts when I was little because they went around the
Speaker 4: circle and they asked everybody what they wanted to be
Speaker 4: when they were older. And apparently I don't remember any
Speaker 4: of this, but she said, like six of the girls
Speaker 4: in a row, said Mom, and she was like, I
Speaker 4: gotta get her out of here.
Speaker 1: He's like, nope, this is not a lot with the
Speaker 1: plan we have for our.
Speaker 4: Daughter, which is so funny because now I don't want kids,
Speaker 4: and she's like, oh shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, You're like, but do you want to be a
Speaker 1: girl scout because you could go back?
Speaker 4: Do you like selling cookies?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: Sometimes on IMDb, like for a while, it said I
Speaker 3: was in some cartoon called Oh I don't even remember
Speaker 3: what it was called, but it was like a Pixar movie,
Speaker 3: and I just agreed because it was on IMDb.
Speaker 2: But were you really in on General Hospital? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I was?
Speaker 2: How did I mean?
Speaker 4: I just augitioned for him like a couple times. And
Speaker 4: it was funny because my mom grew up like I
Speaker 4: grew up with her watching General Hospital and then to
Speaker 4: like randomly get like I just played a nanny and
Speaker 4: it was so General Hospital because they only gave me.
Speaker 4: I only saw like a page and a half. And
Speaker 4: in that page and a half, somebody was in an
Speaker 4: undersea diving accident and I hang inded somebody a baby
Speaker 4: and then it turns out the baby the father wasn't
Speaker 4: the actual father, like when it was Chaos Wild.
Speaker 2: And that could have been any script that season there is. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Amnetia Pete Lee is a comic that's doing well right
Speaker 3: now and he was on maybe I don't know if
Speaker 3: it's general, he was on a on a soap opera.
Speaker 3: I just always thought, oh my, so interesting because they're
Speaker 3: so dramatic.
Speaker 1: I know, also those weird the ways where and I
Speaker 1: know it's like the joke everyone does, but the way
Speaker 1: you have to hold you say a line, then you
Speaker 1: have to hold your position until they like basically fade
Speaker 1: out to commercial. But it's so unrealistic where it's like, yes,
Speaker 1: I don't love you anymore, and then everyone stands there
Speaker 1: for eight seconds before they actually cut away. It's so
Speaker 1: stressful to me where I'm like, how are these people?
Speaker 1: You just stare off, I guess, and like clear your brain.
Speaker 4: It's intimidating. That set works like machine because they've been
Speaker 4: there for so long. I got lost on set twice.
Speaker 4: Uh and I I've never held a baby before, not really,
Speaker 4: and they gave me like a live baby, so I
Speaker 4: was terrified. I was like I cannot drop this thing.
Speaker 4: And then there were motion cues where like I was like,
Speaker 4: did he really say go? And then at one point
Speaker 4: a camera dude just pushed my shoulder and was.
Speaker 1: Like carrying this baby.
Speaker 4: I was like, this is a nightmare and because it
Speaker 4: moved so fast, It's not like any other set I've
Speaker 4: ever been on. It was so crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because they have to like they have to get
Speaker 1: that whole I bet you they shoot multiple episodes in
Speaker 1: a day. Oh sure, yeah when I think this was
Speaker 1: this year.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, so there.
Speaker 3: It wasn't COVID times because that was the only productions
Speaker 3: that were still going. And mid quarantine soap operas were
Speaker 3: so funny because they if there was a love scene
Speaker 3: or any interaction, they actually had that real life person's
Speaker 3: husband on at and so they'd they'd be talking from
Speaker 3: across the room on this couch and then all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, hairy arm like someone else's arm that didn't
Speaker 3: match the actor would embrace. It was so interesting how
Speaker 3: they shot it. It it Uh, it made me laugh
Speaker 3: when I watched.
Speaker 4: No, it was post COVID. I mean we still did
Speaker 4: like triple testing and sure because the baby was so young.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it was like, yeah, what you don't push
Speaker 3: someone holding the baby that camera guy.
Speaker 4: I watched so many YouTube videos on different baby holds.
Speaker 4: I was so.
Speaker 1: Worried just cramming for that for that exam, that the
Speaker 1: exam of holding a baby the next day, and that
Speaker 1: was in New York General Hospital shoots in New York
Speaker 1: or was it out here?
Speaker 4: It was in La.
Speaker 1: It was in La. We just watched the movie Soap Dish.
Speaker 1: I don't know if anybody watched has seen that movie.
Speaker 1: It's so good if you haven't seen in it, it's
Speaker 1: really hilarious, like it holds up. But they shoot in
Speaker 1: the in the movie, they're shooting in New York. So
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, that was in New York.
Speaker 2: Because I just watched that movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I always thought there was one way to hold a baby,
Speaker 3: the classic hand behind the head.
Speaker 2: But I don't know either. I don't know. I didn't
Speaker 2: know that.
Speaker 1: You're a baby different if you're using that baby as
Speaker 1: eventual Loku was dummy, that's the right way that actually works.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my baby is gonna have a Horsey voice and
Speaker 3: talk about traffic.
Speaker 4: Palm to the front of face, really get your nails
Speaker 4: and you want a good grip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, tag in there so if anyone pushes you from behind,
Speaker 1: you got.
Speaker 2: A palmet like a little basketball.
Speaker 1: What a weird Also, what a weird thing to essentially
Speaker 1: rent your baby to a soap opera. I'm sure it's
Speaker 1: very lucrative business. But that must feel odd, but it's also.
Speaker 4: Like cool to be like show. I mean, I don't
Speaker 4: know if your kid would be mad at you, but
Speaker 4: to me, like like you want to and be like
Speaker 4: why'd you do that to me?
Speaker 2: But like, yes, yeah it is.
Speaker 3: I went when I first was when I was in
Speaker 3: Austin and I wanted to get into acting. There was
Speaker 3: like a casting set you had to pay. I'm embarrassed
Speaker 3: that I did it. I paid four under dollars and uh.
Speaker 2: And you meet.
Speaker 3: Casting agents and then they tell you need to fly
Speaker 3: to you need to live in New York or LA.
Speaker 2: But so many.
Speaker 3: People brought their babies. They're just like, this is a
Speaker 3: gifted baby. I have the perfect baby. It's going to
Speaker 3: be a Gerber baby. And I was really it kind
Speaker 3: of really bummed me out, more so than like pageants
Speaker 3: or anything like that, like people that want to have
Speaker 3: famous babies.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's pretty wild.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's also like you want your baby to be
Speaker 1: in the grossest business on the planet. You're signing your
Speaker 1: baby up for that for like the most amoral setup.
Speaker 3: Basically, my baby's going to do it. Because I was
Speaker 3: never a cheer later.
Speaker 1: I think I've told you this story, But there was
Speaker 1: one time I was at a way back in the
Speaker 1: day when I used to audition for things, and I
Speaker 1: was in this audition and I watched this mom try
Speaker 1: to It was like we were all there reading, you know.
Speaker 1: It was like the the sassy, you know, slutty best
Speaker 1: friend part. And then there was they were also casting
Speaker 1: for like eight year old boy part, and there was
Speaker 1: an eight year old boy there that was so cute
Speaker 1: and he was kind of there, you know, hanging out
Speaker 1: and holding his sides. And then there was this mother
Speaker 1: who was there with her eight year old son, and
Speaker 1: she the mother was trying to like mind fuck the
Speaker 1: other boy, and so she was like, is your mom
Speaker 1: not here with you? Oh? Does that mean you don't
Speaker 1: know your lines? And I was sitting across from her,
Speaker 1: staring at her like are you fucking kidding me? Like
Speaker 1: are you the worst person on the place? And I
Speaker 1: literally ended up leaving because I was so grossed out.
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, why did I move here? What
Speaker 1: am I doing? Like this? I don't give a shit.
Speaker 1: I'm not like I didn't go to Juilliard. I don't
Speaker 1: care this much that like there's people around you just
Speaker 1: anything for anything, for a one line part on a sitcom.
Speaker 4: LA is crazy like that. I mean I see that
Speaker 4: in like comedy, Like I'm a pretty I mean, i
Speaker 4: know I've done some stuff like on paper, but I'm
Speaker 4: not like anyone to care about. And then like people
Speaker 4: will like kiss my ass at parties sometimes and I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, if you're doing that to me, what
Speaker 4: are you doing to actual famous people? That's crazy, Like
Speaker 4: it just like oh, it feels like oil on your
Speaker 4: skin where it's just like, oh, so weird.
Speaker 1: It's really weird, so weird.
Speaker 3: I was in some audition for a Smucker's Jam commercial
Speaker 3: with a little kid and the parent was in there,
Speaker 3: this dad, and they were being so hard on the
Speaker 3: kid and the kid wanted to cry. And then I
Speaker 3: just talked to him for a while about his day
Speaker 3: and kind of tricked him into seeing the lines. And
Speaker 3: I just made friends with this little kid for five minutes,
Speaker 3: and the kid got the part.
Speaker 2: I didn't get it.
Speaker 3: The kid got the Smucker's at I did have to
Speaker 3: work for that little shit.
Speaker 1: You were and you were hired as the child wrangler. Chris,
Speaker 1: we don't want to see you in front of the cameras.
Speaker 3: Now it's come I should come clean on my years
Speaker 3: of wrangling children.
Speaker 4: Just carry on the fanny pack of juices and the
Speaker 4: kids ready for set.
Speaker 1: Got Gogert.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I'm like the Blues Traveler guy with Harmonica's except
Speaker 3: it's all Caprice Sons.
Speaker 1: I remember when Caprice Sons came out, like when I
Speaker 1: was in like junior high or something, and it was
Speaker 1: so it really was. It looked like advanced technology, like
Speaker 1: it looked like it was for astronauts, or it was
Speaker 1: just like man, like, the future is here.
Speaker 4: That's so funny.
Speaker 3: Until you put that you punched that straw and through
Speaker 3: the other side. It was very difficult. You got to
Speaker 3: go in and then immediately down, otherwise you've just wasted
Speaker 3: what was one percent juice?
Speaker 1: Yeah, remember the lemonade flavor. I thought I loved it
Speaker 1: until I was halfway down and then I was like,
Speaker 1: now I have acid reflux. In sixth grade? What is
Speaker 1: this fucking product?
Speaker 4: They used to be really high in themselves. Snack foods
Speaker 4: like Caprisa and Dippin' Dots, ice cream of the future,
Speaker 4: all these like weird futuristic promises. It's like Yep, this
Speaker 4: is corn syrup. We're not doing that much.
Speaker 1: This is not innovation. Dippin' dots never. I never got
Speaker 1: that because I always had such guilt like eating dessert
Speaker 1: things where it's like, if this isn't the best thing ever,
Speaker 1: then what are we doing? And dippin' dots felt like
Speaker 1: almost like a science experiment that you were allowed to eat,
Speaker 1: you know, like it was kind of like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: get I get that you love this the sub zero
Speaker 1: kind of you know, accomplishment, but it's not great as
Speaker 1: a dessert.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I recall.
Speaker 3: It's just they freeze regular ice cream to the to
Speaker 3: the point where it balls up into little like how
Speaker 3: they make the little balls.
Speaker 2: Maybe I am into it.
Speaker 1: Well you're into the science of it, but I don't
Speaker 1: think you're into like the taste of it. Right.
Speaker 3: I love it on a science level, but don't put
Speaker 3: that shit in my mouth. I just want to watch
Speaker 3: how it's made, like cotton.
Speaker 1: Can and a beaker beaker, only it's fun.
Speaker 3: I don't put on a lab coat, and I'll watch
Speaker 3: you make cotton candy all day, but get that get
Speaker 3: that shit.
Speaker 2: Away from my face.
Speaker 3: And I mean that I do not I've never understood
Speaker 3: cotton candy.
Speaker 4: You don't like gotten candy.
Speaker 2: I don't. I just I wasn't allowed sugar as a kid,
Speaker 2: and I just.
Speaker 4: See this is all crazy to me because when I
Speaker 4: was really young, I worked at a county fair when
Speaker 4: I was like eight to high school. So different dots frozen,
Speaker 4: like deep fried ice cream, technology and sugar for no reason,
Speaker 4: because we just need an excuse to eat more butter
Speaker 4: like that was that was my jam?
Speaker 2: Oh yes, oh, I have at the fair.
Speaker 3: I have eaten at the Orange County Fair too, not
Speaker 3: in the ozarks or whatever. It was a fried stick
Speaker 3: of butter. I ate that somewhat flavored. It sounds awful,
Speaker 3: it is awful. But I don't get me wrong, I'll
Speaker 3: put that right in my face. But I just don't
Speaker 3: have the sweet tooth I got one of. I got
Speaker 3: this butter tongue.
Speaker 1: Sweet. So I have a thousand questions fore you working
Speaker 1: at the county fair?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: I mean because growing up I did four each and
Speaker 1: so we were at the fair. Did you really did
Speaker 1: you do?
Speaker 4: Did you raise? It was an Illinois I worked at
Speaker 4: the Lake County County Fair, so nice.
Speaker 1: So wait, do you like Dippin' dots a as a dissoo.
Speaker 4: I don't know why I love it. It's just weird.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, yeah, I give it, give you that innovation.
Speaker 1: So you did you work in one of those little
Speaker 1: trailer things that basically is like everything fried and then
Speaker 1: some stuff.
Speaker 4: No, I worked actually four for ag We had a
Speaker 4: booth there and then I would just sell soda and
Speaker 4: like gatorades. So from like eight until I think high
Speaker 4: schools when they cut you off from four age somewhere
Speaker 4: around there.
Speaker 1: But you can't take it to college. You can't. So
Speaker 1: what was your favorite of all the things you could
Speaker 1: get at the fair? What was your favorite thing to get? Oh?
Speaker 4: Man, I think probably elephant ears, which, if you don't know,
Speaker 4: aren't actually elephant ears. I don't know why they call
Speaker 4: it that.
Speaker 2: It's just a fried dough.
Speaker 1: Chris thought you were actually eating it.
Speaker 2: Where is this fair?
Speaker 1: It's such a good dessert. I completely forgot about those things.
Speaker 4: Oh, they're so good.
Speaker 3: That's like that tear away bread, the bread that you
Speaker 3: tear the dessert version.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's like coated and sugar and cinnamon. Then
Speaker 4: they'll have like jams and stuff in the middle.
Speaker 2: Of it.
Speaker 3: It's okay, I'm not I have a bit of a
Speaker 3: sweet because that sounds great right now, if it's bread.
Speaker 2: If it's bready, all right, I'm back in. I'm back in. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Can I get back into the sugar group?
Speaker 1: Come on, always open the sugar grip.
Speaker 4: I went through different phases because when I was like
Speaker 4: really young, I was like a little pudgy kid, and
Speaker 4: then I got made fun of, and then of course nineties,
Speaker 4: got an eating disorder, and then beat the eating disorder,
Speaker 4: but then got pudgy again, and then started running cross
Speaker 4: country and my metabolism exploded, and so it was kind
Speaker 4: of one of those things where you're running miles a day.
Speaker 4: I could eat whatever. It was like my childhood dream
Speaker 4: and just be like so sciny, so but it's not
Speaker 4: good for you. They don't tell you that because everything
Speaker 4: was all about your image, where they're like, oh, you
Speaker 4: look good, so it's fine. I literally almost blacked out
Speaker 4: from malnutrition in college because I was only eating gummy worms.
Speaker 1: It was Wow, what a way to go.
Speaker 4: It was wild. I was disgusting. I would take Turkey
Speaker 4: Hill ice cream and Anamon's doughnuts and then wait until
Speaker 4: it got a little soft and then mash the donuts
Speaker 4: and the ice cream and then just eat that for dinner.
Speaker 4: I was so gross.
Speaker 1: I had a problem, No, but I respect it. That's
Speaker 1: next level. I've never heard of that before that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I truly a good idea because then it's almost
Speaker 3: like cookie dough ice cream that you're making.
Speaker 4: No, it was bad and I hated myself, but I
Speaker 4: ate it anyway.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so it is. Do you remember the fair
Speaker 1: rosettes were it was like it was probably the same
Speaker 1: dough as the elephant ears, but they poured it into
Speaker 1: the hot grease and then they put a little like
Speaker 1: a little metal It almost looked like a stamp, so
Speaker 1: it made it look like a snowflake or this or that.
Speaker 1: Well okay, and then they'd fish them out and then
Speaker 1: cover them in powdered sugar. It was like, I guess
Speaker 1: a doughnut in a way, but uh, crunchier and kind
Speaker 1: of more.
Speaker 4: I see three had those those sound good? Though?
Speaker 1: Man, they were. It was, And also part of it
Speaker 1: was you got to watch them make yours. So it
Speaker 1: was kind of like a I want to say the
Speaker 1: word event, but that's actually not the right word. But
Speaker 1: it was you know, like a it was part watching
Speaker 1: them make yours was part of the attraction, I guess attraction.
Speaker 1: It was really fun, But then it was just basically
Speaker 1: just like super deep fried grease dough. Yeah, and not
Speaker 1: even enough dough part, more like a lot of grease.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, it is.
Speaker 3: They at the Western Montana Fair where I'm from, they
Speaker 3: had tacos that's still to this day when I think
Speaker 3: of a taco, that is it. If you think of
Speaker 3: a taco drawn like a cartoon taco. It was just
Speaker 3: a golden, crispy shell and a bunch of it was
Speaker 3: just ground beef, I guess, but it was to this
Speaker 3: And I love authentic Mexican food. It's great, but I
Speaker 3: wish I could find that fair taco. I have to
Speaker 3: go all the way to Montana to get it. I
Speaker 3: think about that taco all the time, and so does
Speaker 3: my sister. We have family discussions about that taco.
Speaker 1: Well, you're young, so it like really made.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I made an impression.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was gonna say, I hope you never find
Speaker 4: it because it's not going to be as good as
Speaker 4: the taco.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one of those disappointing things.
Speaker 3: I like this as a kid, I was disgusting, and
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, I feel bad about my
Speaker 3: whole life.
Speaker 1: What did it have a slice of cheese?
Speaker 3: It was processed, shredded. It was like craft singles, but
Speaker 3: somehow it was it was shredded. Yeah, that that was
Speaker 3: the other thing.
Speaker 2: Not real cheat, no dairy and that cheese, no no,
Speaker 2: And I want one right now. My mouth is watering.
Speaker 1: I know it sounds really good. There used to be
Speaker 1: a place called Henry's Tacos on the corner of like
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, Well, Tito's is clean.
Speaker 3: That the one with the I love Tito's tacos. You
Speaker 3: love Tito's too. The only thing better than that Tito's
Speaker 3: taco is two that song and they fly through the air.
Speaker 2: Though, I've people.
Speaker 3: Scanned in line for that place, and it is the
Speaker 3: closest thing I've found.
Speaker 2: So I'm back to thinking I was right to the
Speaker 2: fair tacos.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Tito's tacos are very much like those Montana Fair tacos.
Speaker 1: Where's Tito's though.
Speaker 2: Well, there was one when I they it's the corner
Speaker 2: of Sepulvida and Washington Boulevard.
Speaker 3: There's a Tito's there that's a free plug for the
Speaker 3: Tito's people. There's a long line like Pink's hot dogs
Speaker 3: that doesn't make sense how you put that thing in
Speaker 3: your mouth? Oh Manitos unofficial sponsor.
Speaker 1: It's so this is the reason. And I also, of course,
Speaker 1: as any woman, would have had several eating disorders. But
Speaker 1: there's it's so fun to talk about food in that way,
Speaker 1: like food you love in that way, especially like at
Speaker 1: this time of night. We were just kind of like
Speaker 1: it just made me think, oh, yeah, you can probably
Speaker 1: get the tacos that del taco The hard shell tacos
Speaker 1: are a lot like those old kind of eighties tacos.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I promise you both because of this discussion,
Speaker 3: that is exactly what I'm going to seek for dinner.
Speaker 1: This evening, to seek it out.
Speaker 3: I can't. I'm hungry right now now we're talking about it.
Speaker 3: The last thing I'm going to do is go grocery shopping.
Speaker 3: I'll spend three hundred dollars. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go get.
Speaker 4: Eat a Dell taco. I know I've like because I
Speaker 4: grew up in the mid West, I've always been like
Speaker 4: a taco bell girl. So I don't know why I
Speaker 4: felt loyalty.
Speaker 1: Like you have to pick it, like the Chicago Bears.
Speaker 1: You have to pick a teave and stick with them.
Speaker 4: I was like, for what, But I heard Del Taco's
Speaker 4: actually better now, but I gotta I gotta switch over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, de'll Taco. It helps when you're drunk and like
Speaker 1: in the drive through at three am, because they have
Speaker 1: they kind of go all over the map with fast food,
Speaker 1: so you're all drunk and you're kind of like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to I'll get a caesadilla and fries, and
Speaker 1: you blow your own drunk mind with the options that
Speaker 1: you can kind of put together for yourself. They really
Speaker 1: kind of cover it that way. But then they also
Speaker 1: just do have old fashioned tacos. I just feel like
Speaker 1: I love Taco Bell in that way, but there's just
Speaker 1: something a little more like og about.
Speaker 2: The talk is a Del Taco and you know what
Speaker 2: you're gonna get.
Speaker 3: That was the first place that came to my small town,
Speaker 3: and my mom was a vegetarian, so in the fridge
Speaker 3: we just had.
Speaker 2: A cold block of tofu.
Speaker 3: She wasn't passionate about preparing, so I would sneak off.
Speaker 2: And the closest place with Staco Bell I'd come in
Speaker 2: I jammed in my sleeve. I'd hide it to this day.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry mom that I was eating taco bell on
Speaker 3: your roof.
Speaker 2: But the good news is the meat isn't real meat.
Speaker 3: I believe in that half sawdust or yeah, asbestos.
Speaker 1: They did a and they're just like, almost no meat
Speaker 1: in here, and everyone's like, okay, that's fine.
Speaker 3: The sign we'll deal with it. Yeah, it's a clear sign.
Speaker 3: It was coming out of a calking gun. I did
Speaker 3: a show the other night at the at the Belly
Speaker 3: Room at the Comedy Store, and it was you were
Speaker 3: supposed to bring food from your childhood.
Speaker 2: That sparked stories and I so I really did hide.
Speaker 3: A burrito in my sleeve and not the tofu, and
Speaker 3: then I was eating it as a secret burrito.
Speaker 2: It was it was fun. It was fun. That was fun.
Speaker 1: Did you do that on stage?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Everyone brought uh that's co brought this bagged curry and
Speaker 3: we all put it in a big pile.
Speaker 2: It was gross, but the audience it was like, all.
Speaker 3: Of a sudden, everyone was on an adult episode of
Speaker 3: doubled Are. Everyone got so excited about playing with food
Speaker 3: and we were passing in the ground. I'm not kidding
Speaker 3: and the audience was trying it, trying this curry chicken
Speaker 3: on top of the tofu was the little bit. Oh,
Speaker 3: it was very hilarious. Yeah, I had so much fun.
Speaker 3: Usually I feel uncomfortable when I'm not allowed to do
Speaker 3: my stand up and I'm on stage, a panic washes
Speaker 3: over me.
Speaker 2: But it just became a fun food game show. Was great.
Speaker 3: Do you guys not like those like homework shows? I
Speaker 3: try to where you agree to it and it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: you have to do material about this topic, and it's
Speaker 3: like shit, I have to write all the time.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I'm just always tired, so
Speaker 4: like anytime there's more work, like, oh, why there's no money?
Speaker 4: Why did I do?
Speaker 1: Yes? For a long time? Was it? It was Brian
Speaker 1: Cook's erotic fan fiction show Yes, where he would ask
Speaker 1: me to do it and I'd be like, I just
Speaker 1: can't see a time. And there were some he was like,
Speaker 1: you can just do it night of and get a
Speaker 1: theme and I'm like, well then I'll just fail and
Speaker 1: I won't have like I will not publicly fail, but
Speaker 1: I also won't do the work beforehand, because there's some
Speaker 1: people that write beforehand, but I finally ended up doing
Speaker 1: it. It was actually really fun because the audience knows you
Speaker 1: just wrote it, yes, so they're not expecting great things,
Speaker 1: you know, they're not expecting you to be a mind
Speaker 1: blowing Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think the key with that show, yeah do it
Speaker 3: at the last minute and impress them with hey, I
Speaker 3: did this in ten minutes. If you do it overnight
Speaker 3: and you come in with it, oh man, all this
Speaker 3: pressure for it to be polished material, no, thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: That's the thing is though they do end up normally
Speaker 4: being fun, like when you're actually doing them, but like
Speaker 4: leading up to it, you're like, oh god, no, I
Speaker 4: don't want to do so.
Speaker 3: But have you ever done any of these roasts? Have
Speaker 3: you ever roasted another comic? That's something I've never done.
Speaker 4: I did. I don't like it. I did it. I
Speaker 4: did it a lot because it was really popular in
Speaker 4: like New York for a hotah. Sure of course, so
Speaker 4: like I did a couple of them, but no, I
Speaker 4: was it's like, now I think I've had enough therapy
Speaker 4: where I could maybe do it again and actually have fun.
Speaker 4: But it was like it wasn't fun for me. I
Speaker 4: would genuinely get angry, like I could feel myself getting
Speaker 4: angry through.
Speaker 3: The rows because of what they were saying, or you
Speaker 3: felt bad about what you were saying, or just.
Speaker 4: I didn't feel bad until after. But because.
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't understand how people do it where it's
Speaker 1: just like sometimes those jokes are so funny because someone
Speaker 1: has really sat down and thought about, like not the
Speaker 1: overt thing to criticize you about, but something very like subtle.
Speaker 1: I don't understand how people withstand it. I truly have
Speaker 1: no interest, never want to be anywhere near that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it scares me. I've gone to the comedy store
Speaker 2: ones and they go right for it. They're like, so and.
Speaker 3: So's mom died and as a kid they had leg braces.
Speaker 3: And then they do that and I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: you did research and you feel comfortable bringing that and
Speaker 3: you can see the that's like, oh, I guess I
Speaker 3: signed up for this.
Speaker 2: But they're sad. They're thinking about their mom and their
Speaker 2: old leg braces. It's sad.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel terrible. It's horrifying. I think they've
Speaker 1: reversed it these days, because there's the the one that's
Speaker 1: like compliments, Oh I've heard yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was a battle rap version where you had
Speaker 3: to actually rap at UCB and I.
Speaker 2: Can't remember, oh I went up again.
Speaker 3: It was maybe someone from the audience, but we uh
Speaker 3: he and I decided to do that anyway, And it
Speaker 3: was so fun to be like rhyme about hey, I
Speaker 3: like your sweater, you have a symmetrical face, and then
Speaker 3: another thing that rhymed.
Speaker 2: Iron is obviously very good at it in the moment. Yeah,
Speaker 2: in the moment. I'm not gonna rap right now. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you've heard all my rhymes. I do a lot of
Speaker 2: rapping on here.
Speaker 4: Well, we all listen to you mixtape this.
Speaker 3: Oh Man of another one drops first of the year,
Speaker 3: which reminds this is this will air in a mid January,
Speaker 3: I think. But this is our last recording of twenty
Speaker 3: twenty two, So we should all reflect on this past
Speaker 3: year and say, what was your favorite terrible thing about
Speaker 3: the past year?
Speaker 2: Was it the inflation or the mess crimes?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: I actually?
Speaker 3: What did anything good happen this year? Is there anything
Speaker 3: that you're thankful for?
Speaker 2: Sube?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I got married, So that was.
Speaker 2: A good one.
Speaker 1: Nice congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 4: That was very fun, very expensive, but very fun, and
Speaker 4: it was so stressful. I did end up before it
Speaker 4: end up in that. I mean, it was the best
Speaker 4: day of my life. But before it, I did end
Speaker 4: up in the hospital because they thought I was having
Speaker 4: a heart attack, But it was just all the stress
Speaker 4: from spending because I grew up with immigrant parents and
Speaker 4: then like I've always again, I never felt like if
Speaker 4: I if I fucked up, I never thought my parents
Speaker 4: would support me. So I've always been super stressed about money,
Speaker 4: and then to suddenly just spend thousands of dollars like
Speaker 4: my brain couldn't handle it. Oh yeah, and I like
Speaker 4: genuinely ended up in the hospital with distressed. They thought
Speaker 4: it was a hard attack and wow because of the
Speaker 4: wedding and like a bunch of other expenses that came
Speaker 4: out of nowhere. And then they were trying to charge
Speaker 4: me six thousand dollars for it, even though I have
Speaker 4: health insurance.
Speaker 2: But do you want to have another panic attack?
Speaker 4: But we would, But I found out today I don't
Speaker 4: have to pay any of it because I didn't have
Speaker 4: enough money in my bank account.
Speaker 1: So yeah, wow, that's right.
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, that's where a smut ushit on
Speaker 4: Somosa's good luck.
Speaker 1: It's oh gone.
Speaker 2: That is great.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: They That's one thing I didn't know about, and they,
Speaker 3: of course don't necessarily advertise it, but hospitals do have
Speaker 3: a financial aid department. And I remember writing a letter
Speaker 3: asking for Hey, I got all this blood work done.
Speaker 3: I was misled and it was thousands of dollars. I
Speaker 3: wrote a letter and then they wrote back and They're like, okay,
Speaker 3: we took care of it, and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 3: didn't want you to cover all of it. Now I
Speaker 3: feel like I'm taking advantage of a system that's made
Speaker 3: for other people. But if I was able to show
Speaker 3: my bank account and they dictate it from that, I
Speaker 3: wouldn't feel bad. Did you actually show them, like, here's
Speaker 3: what I have in my wells Farga.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they like made me send in three months of
Speaker 4: bank records and shit. It was crazy. And then I
Speaker 4: was single technically when it happened. So they asked if
Speaker 4: I was married, and I was like, no, you're not
Speaker 4: saying rest that's.
Speaker 2: Right because he's a comic too, right Sean, Yeah, yes.
Speaker 4: But he's doing much better than me, so you married.
Speaker 4: I would have felt so bad if I, like heart
Speaker 4: attacked my way into his bank account. I'm like, I can't.
Speaker 4: We just got married.
Speaker 2: That's great. No, that's that's honest.
Speaker 3: Then they decided what you had to pay based on
Speaker 3: that's that's a great system. Look at this game we're
Speaker 3: here to there's one good thing about the healthcare system
Speaker 3: that we've heard today. Anything you've planned for the new year,
Speaker 3: things you're going to change, you want to If you
Speaker 3: say your resolution out loud, does it not come true?
Speaker 3: Or is that now that's shooting stars? Yeah, it's a
Speaker 3: different What are you going to work on this year?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'm like, is it terrible to be like I'm giving up?
Speaker 3: Like, Oh, I don't know either. I just threw it
Speaker 3: in your court because I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm just gonna keep trying. I told myself
Speaker 4: I can drop five hours of comedy and then I
Speaker 4: can safely quit and not feel bad because I'm like,
Speaker 4: if I do five hours, I'm like, this still isn't
Speaker 4: like what I want. Then I can walk away and
Speaker 4: I'm almost done with the second hour, so I'm going
Speaker 4: to drop that and then I'm like, oh, I'm halfway done.
Speaker 4: So that's kind of where I am.
Speaker 1: You're taking a real actuarial approach to comedy here and
Speaker 1: minus this abrom was there a good eight years to go.
Speaker 2: There's graphs, there's a chart.
Speaker 1: That's the way. That's one way to do it.
Speaker 4: How about you, guys, anything in New Year's Resolutions anyway
Speaker 4: in the year.
Speaker 3: I did on the last episode promise Karen because I
Speaker 3: want to do therapy and I think it's important and
Speaker 3: that's my only plan. Oh that's good, and to see
Speaker 3: if they give me some sweet sweet brain drugs.
Speaker 1: Mine's stretching, it's lazy, it's very low. You know, it's
Speaker 1: I'm not really reaching for the stars anyway. But then
Speaker 1: I'm like maybe I'll build from there. But I being
Speaker 1: already being middle aged, and like when I get up
Speaker 1: in the morning and it's like like it's such it's
Speaker 1: so hacky, but it's really true where like you reach,
Speaker 1: you know, you get like forty five, and then suddenly
Speaker 1: you're just kind of like you become the tin man.
Speaker 1: So I went through like my twenties and even a
Speaker 1: little bit in my thirties so kind of devil make
Speaker 1: care about all that stuff. And now I'm just like
Speaker 1: this is about to seriously bite me in the ask
Speaker 1: before like my back just goes out. One day, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try to, you know, get a little just like
Speaker 1: stretch it out a little bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to change stretching.
Speaker 1: You're stealing mine.
Speaker 3: No, I'm just joining you, okay, okay for support.
Speaker 4: Stretch, for stretching, sportant. It's so important. I don't think
Speaker 4: it's like funny because some of my friends were the healthiest,
Speaker 4: have like the shittiest genetics where it's just like your
Speaker 4: body attacks you, and I had, like because I had
Speaker 4: like a permanent ankle injury from dodgeball. I don't know
Speaker 4: why they allow that in schools. I had to like
Speaker 4: learn to like stretch and actually take it seriously because like,
Speaker 4: there were points where I was like in my twenties
Speaker 4: and I was like, I think I need a cane.
Speaker 4: I was like, I can't have a cane. I'm not
Speaker 4: cool enough to pull this off.
Speaker 1: It's gonna seem like an affectation if I have to
Speaker 1: use a cane.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anytime I have a cane, I just without without
Speaker 3: even thinking about it, I end up doing some Charlie
Speaker 3: Chaplin walk and it's embarrassing.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh great, and a musical theater nerd.
Speaker 4: But yeah, no, I started like doing, taking, stretching and
Speaker 4: physical therapy and stuff more seriously, and it's like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, it's I hate when wellness is correct. I
Speaker 4: don't know why I'm resistant to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I hate it.
Speaker 1: It's I think it's because of the people that try
Speaker 1: to bring it yeah to the public are the kind
Speaker 1: of people where I'm like, if this was a bar,
Speaker 1: I would walk away. The idea that I have to
Speaker 1: listen to you in this situation is so irritating.
Speaker 2: Always yelling.
Speaker 3: There's a guy on Instagram that yells at you wall
Speaker 3: he's running, and I'm like, you are making me never
Speaker 3: want to run again?
Speaker 2: Why are you yelling?
Speaker 1: So oh?
Speaker 2: I forgot.
Speaker 3: There's I have a pile of blankets and warm clothes
Speaker 3: for the sidewalk project, and I need to take that in.
Speaker 3: That's another That's a pre I've been I left.
Speaker 2: I have this pile.
Speaker 3: Here, and now it's been sitting here so long that
Speaker 3: I've just been plucking from it, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: maybe I still want to wear this.
Speaker 2: It's been I gotta take it in.
Speaker 1: That is are you not just going into a to
Speaker 1: do list this New Year's resume?
Speaker 2: Here's my Yeah, my other resolution is those.
Speaker 1: Tacos tonight, still tacos.
Speaker 2: My New Year's.
Speaker 3: Resolution is a shower in the morning, give my dad
Speaker 3: my flight info.
Speaker 1: And tacos at night. Well, it was delightful to meet
Speaker 1: you and get to talk to you. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for doing this episode with us.
Speaker 4: No, thank you. This was so much fun. This was
Speaker 4: really fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're and you're hilarious.
Speaker 3: Do you have anything coming up that you want to
Speaker 3: plug or do you do a podcast.
Speaker 4: Or oh, yeah, I do. I have a podcast called
Speaker 4: Family Gems where we just have people coming and like
Speaker 4: share one or two silly family stories. So that's fun.
Speaker 4: And then I also have an album called dog Show
Speaker 4: that you can download anywhere.
Speaker 2: That's true dog Show.
Speaker 3: That sounds like that's why that show I mentioned The
Speaker 3: family dinner thing was so fun. It is hearing other
Speaker 3: people's family stories, having that topic that does not seem
Speaker 3: like homework.
Speaker 2: And there's always jokes.
Speaker 3: I don't think every comic needs to realize how many
Speaker 3: jokes there are and just talking about your family because
Speaker 3: I don't on stage.
Speaker 4: Really Yeah, it's just like fun stories. Sometimes comics you
Speaker 4: want us to talk about her.
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, well, no, no, you just tell
Speaker 1: a delightful story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, get on, talk about your dad and cry. It's
Speaker 3: a podcast that's great. Well, thanks, thank you for being
Speaker 3: with us today, so that you've been terrific. You've been
Speaker 3: listening to Do You Need a Ride?
Speaker 2: D y n Ar. This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: Produced by Annalise Nelson.
Speaker 2: Mixed by Edson Choi.
Speaker 1: Our talent booker is Patrick Cottoner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
Speaker 1: and Facebook at dinar podcast. That's d y n Ar Podcast.
Speaker 3: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh you're welcome