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Speaker 1: It's time for Donkey of the Day. I'm a Democrat,

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Speaker 1: so being Donkey of the Day is a little bit

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Speaker 1: of a mixed club. So like a don Day bitches

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Speaker 1: a lot of my twenty years. And Donkey of the

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Speaker 1: Bay is a new wife. Yes, Donkey of to Day

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Speaker 1: goes to CNN's chief legal analyst, Jeff Tubin. Jeff Tubin

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Speaker 1: is also a renowned reporter for The New Yorker. Jeff

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Speaker 1: Tuban is sixty years old, and he's been suspended by

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Speaker 1: the New Yorker and he's asked for some time off

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Speaker 1: from CNN after doing this. Let's go to Fox News

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Speaker 1: with Sean Hannity for the report police an unsettling answered

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Speaker 1: and involving CNN's chief legal analyst now off the air

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Speaker 1: for allegedly pleasuring himself on a zoom video call. Jeffrey Tubin,

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Speaker 1: who was also a staff writer for The New Yorker,

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Speaker 1: was suspended by the magazine for masturbating during the call

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Speaker 1: last week, with other New Yorker employees in w NYC

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Speaker 1: radio staff watching. According to Vice News, which reports the

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Speaker 1: incident came during a drill for election coverage. VISs says

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Speaker 1: when the group's returned from their breakout rooms, Tuban lowered

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Speaker 1: the camera. The people on the call said they could

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Speaker 1: see Tuben touching himself. Tuban then left the call. Moments later,

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Speaker 1: he called back and seemingly unaware of what his colleagues

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Speaker 1: had been able to see. New Yorker Magazine told Fox News,

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Speaker 1: Jeffrey Tubin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,

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Speaker 1: and in a statement to Motherboard, Tuben said quote, I

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Speaker 1: made an embarrassingly stupid mistake believing I was off camera.

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Speaker 1: I apologize to my wife, family, friends, and co workers.

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Speaker 1: I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I blame

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Speaker 1: zoom calls, bro Zoom calls a mentally and emotionally exhausting

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Speaker 1: zoom calls or scressful as hell and scratching yoda behind

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Speaker 1: the ears, tossing a little egg salad, lowest blood pressure

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Speaker 1: in scressful situations. Now, I'm not making any excuses for

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Speaker 1: jeff Tuban. What he did was unprofessional and totally out

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Speaker 1: of line. But one out of five Americans has an

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Speaker 1: anger management problem, and zoom calls make us all angry. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I have to do things to mentally emotionally prepare myself

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Speaker 1: for zoom calls. Now, personally, I would have seasoned my

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Speaker 1: meat loaf before I got on the zoom, but not

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Speaker 1: on the zoom, okay. Like I don't have a problem

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Speaker 1: giving myself a helping hand. Okay, you have to discover

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Speaker 1: your own potential at times, but not on a business

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Speaker 1: zoom call. Okay. I don't think any of us, male

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Speaker 1: or female, can dispute the relaxing effects of turning on

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Speaker 1: this sprinkless Okay. Sometimes you gotta find those clothes with

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Speaker 1: Fred and Daphne and make Scooby do what it do. Okay,

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Speaker 1: listen to me. Masturbation fights depression, all right. Back to

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Speaker 1: back zoom calls are depressing. Sometimes you gotta box the

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Speaker 1: one eyed champ to release that dopamine, to have the

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Speaker 1: energy and scrimp to make it through a zoom call.

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Speaker 1: But Jeff, not like this. Okay. You can't have a

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Speaker 1: manage moir on the zoom all right, Jeff, I have

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Speaker 1: no problem what you make in pearl jam. But it's

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Speaker 1: a time and a place for everything, okay. And the

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Speaker 1: zoom a business call, it's not the place. And why

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Speaker 1: does your name your last name? Why does your last

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Speaker 1: name sound like a euphemism for masturbation tubing. Tubing sounds

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Speaker 1: like something you would use to describe shaking hands with

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Speaker 1: the milkman on the zoom. And I'm sure during this pandemic,

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Speaker 1: when people had the socially distance from their cut buddies,

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Speaker 1: all those summer flings that didn't happen you away from

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Speaker 1: your side chicks, I'm sure they were replaced with people

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Speaker 1: playing five on one for some warm custard. But what

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Speaker 1: do you call that? Okay, what do you call masturbation

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Speaker 1: on the zoom? The answer is Jeff's last name. Tubing. Okay,

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Speaker 1: masturbating on zoom call should absolutely be called tubing from

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Speaker 1: here on out, all right, Tubing your meat on zoom? Okay,

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Speaker 1: Tubing the purple headed yogurt slinger on zoom. Okay, Tubing

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Speaker 1: the Mayonnai's river on zoom, Tubing the hand pupping on zoom. Listen,

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Speaker 1: a lot of y'all judging Jeff for tubing on zoom,

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Speaker 1: But you two have met the goupman at midnight on zoom, right,

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Speaker 1: just not during a business call, all right? Now. Back

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Speaker 1: in November of twenty nineteen, Jeff Tubin was reacting to

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Speaker 1: a New York Times report that Trump was briefed on

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Speaker 1: the whistle blow a complaint before releasing military aid to Ukraine,

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Speaker 1: and Jeff's reaction to Trump is our reaction currently to him.

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Speaker 1: Now he got caught, simple, Yes, he did get caught.

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Speaker 1: Tubin for Tato sauce on zoom. Please give Jeff Tuban

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Speaker 1: the sweet sounds of the Hamletones. Oh now you are

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Speaker 1: the doge the day, do gee, oh the day. Now,

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Speaker 1: let the record show, um, angelie, because you're not in studio.

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Speaker 1: Somebody in this room, all right, mind, you was five

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Speaker 1: minute here, somebody in this room earliest. What's wrong with that?

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Speaker 1: When I was discussing this story, when I was just

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Speaker 1: throwing it around the room, I'm not that person. Person,

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with that? What did he say? He says,

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Speaker 1: the suspension might be a little too far. Let me

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Speaker 1: explain it because he didn't meaning for this person. I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying, because how do we know it wasn't on accident.

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Speaker 1: He took a break from his zoom call. He didn't

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Speaker 1: know the camera was on. It's not like he was

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Speaker 1: stroking his one eye monster live for people on zoom

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Speaker 1: and say watch this, watch this, watch this. He might

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Speaker 1: have paused it, or he might have thought he was

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Speaker 1: all for a second, because he probably closed his laptop

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Speaker 1: a little bit and say, hey, let me handle the

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Speaker 1: one eyed monster. Then I get back to the absolutely

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Speaker 1: no reason to be chooving for sauce on his business

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Speaker 1: zoom call. We also don't know if he did it

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Speaker 1: on purpose or by accident. How do you know that

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Speaker 1: purpose only he knows that. How do you people to see?

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Speaker 1: First of all, what do you mean when you say

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Speaker 1: not on purpose, you mean asturbating? No, I mean for

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Speaker 1: people to see he might have done that. You know,

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Speaker 1: some people are exhibitionists, some people get turned on by

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Speaker 1: people watching that. But let's say it was an accid.

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Speaker 1: Let's say he really just thought he was, you know,

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Speaker 1: put you know, pushing the camera away from his junk,

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Speaker 1: and wanted to get a little one eyed monster going

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Speaker 1: before the next zoom call. Because you stopped saying one

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Speaker 1: eyed monster buffing the mPire player, Broka, it's a penis.

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Speaker 1: You can say penis and it sounds way better, but

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Speaker 1: you can't sounds way better. You can stroke the one

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Speaker 1: eyed man. He was shuffling his eyepod. The moral of

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Speaker 1: the story is this, though I think that this has

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Speaker 1: been a common occurrence during the pandemic. I think it's

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Speaker 1: a lot more people who have been um, you know,

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Speaker 1: scram zoom accidents. Yeah, scrangling their sideclops on zoom. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna call it tuban from now on. I think it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of tuban going on. All right, We got

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Speaker 1: more coming up next with a breakfast club