WEBVTT - Bonus: How does Andy Grammer stay so positive? 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.280 Next Question with Katie Couric is a production of I 0:00:02.400 --> 0:00:06.080 Heart Radio and Katie Kuric Media. Hi everyone, I'm Katie 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.959 Kuric and welcome to Next Question. I don't know about you, 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:14.200 but it's sometimes hard to stay positive in the world 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:17.720 we're living in right now. So much suffering, so much 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:21.720 rancor so much hate. Then there's all that social media 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:25.840 that gives you a serious case of fomo. As Teddy 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:31.200 Roosevelt once said, comparison is the thief of joy. I'm 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:37.640 sorry if I seem in patient. I'm not a fan 0:00:37.840 --> 0:00:45.600 of pleasantry. She occup bored with the weather and what's 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:51.680 in the news. Studies show the average person has about 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:55.720 twelve thousand to sixty thousand thoughts per day, and that 0:00:56.840 --> 0:01:00.720 of those thoughts are negative and end of the thoughts 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:04.520 are repetitive. That adds up to a lot of ruminating 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:08.800 about a lot of bad stuff. So next question, how 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:12.440 do you stay positive in today's world? In my opinion, 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:15.279 the happy guy or the happy girl is like way 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:18.360 more three dimensional than just like happy. Like it's a fight, 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:20.880 it's a war. There's a lot of things you can 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:23.760 do to try and stay positive. You're about to meet 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:27.480 a very happy guy with some uplifting and sightful advice, 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:48.880 and you can even dance to it. Go al. Multi 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:52.840 platinum pop singer and songwriter Andy Grammer's work reads like 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:56.920 a playlist for positivity. His platinum singles include hits like 0:01:57.040 --> 0:01:59.960 keep your Head Up, which I love, thank You, Good 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:03.440 to be Alive, and the ridiculously catchy song that became 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:07.320 an anthem for monogamy, Honey I'm Good. He's also got 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:11.360 a popular positive podcast called The Good Parts, and he 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:15.440 also has a new album out called Naive and So Andy. 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:17.800 I'm so happy to see you because I could use 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:20.520 a little positivity in my life. I love you, thank 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:22.119 you so much for having me here, and your whole 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:25.640 story is so interesting. But before we kind of dive 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:30.520 into your life, you sometimes have to defend your positive attitude, 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:33.520 don't you. I mean, you have to make sure people 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:36.440 understand that it's cool to be happy. I feel like 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:38.800 I smile quite a bit and I have just in 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:41.720 the world that kind of came in always like looking 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:43.880 for the good. My late husband used to say, I 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:48.120 was hardwired for happiness, and it sounds like you and 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:51.959 I are the same. Right. Every once in a while, 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:53.959 what you will get back from the world. If you 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.040 are this type of person, is that you don't know 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:58.600 what you're talking about, Like, can't you see how crappy 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:00.840 the world is? Like why are you smiling so much? 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:03.119 You must not know. So you kind of get put 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:05.520 off into this corner of like, oh, you're like cute, 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:08.320 you know, you're so sweet and he comes by like smiles. 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:10.959 If you're happy, you must be stupid. It must be stupid, yeah, 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:12.720 because you don't know what's going on. And so what 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:15.680 do you say to people who have that attitude? It's 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:18.120 almost like a rebellious way of being like, call me 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:20.160 whatever you want. This is how I live, this is 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.280 how I am, and I'm making it for people like me, 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.440 And there's much more to me than a smile on 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:26.720 my face. Because I guess a lot of people think 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:30.280 you have to be dark and moody to be interesting. Totally, yes, 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:33.560 and you want to prove otherwise. Yeah, hopefully there's there's 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:35.280 people that can see that that's not always the case. 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:39.120 And everybody has all these sides to them, right, Like 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:42.880 I have dark and moody in my life, but usually 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:44.320 that dark and moody is trying to get me to 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:47.040 somewhere that is worthwhile, where I can grow, where the 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:48.960 world is worth it, where I want to show up 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:50.880 and be a part of this thing. Rather than just 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.880 be dismal about it. Let's talk about sort of how 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.680 you came into the world with a smile on your face. Yeah, 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:00.280 I was born in Los Angeles, and then my dad 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:02.520 as a children singer, so I got some of my 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.480 good vibes from him and my mom. They both wrote 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:08.400 these children's songs together, so they were following him around. 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:11.080 So they moved to Nashville, and they moved to New York, 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:12.360 and that's where I grew up. I grew up here 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:14.640 in Upstate and state on an hour north of here, 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:16.960 a place called Monroe Bary. And so you were surrounded 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:19.120 by music all your life when you were a very 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.360 little kid. And we have a clip of your dad's 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:25.040 singing barnyard Boogie. He's a stinging and stinging and uster. 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:28.480 He loves to im provide. He's the kind of clock 0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:37.880 Curo was born to harm and I and every day. 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:47.240 And then my dad was so where did he sing that? 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:49.880 Was this just a children's record? Or was what I mean? 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:51.560 He took it really seriously. He was incredible. He was 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.919 my dad's Grammy nominated children singer, so this was like 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:56.200 his job. You travel all around the country and around 0:04:56.200 --> 0:04:58.240 the world singing to kids, and your mom too was 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:03.599 so this came to you naturally, kind of genetically predisposed 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:05.560 to be a great musician. The older than I get, 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:07.120 the more I realized, how lucky if you want to 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:08.680 be a songwriter, to grow up in a house with 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:11.559 two songwriters writing songs all the time, it's pretty lucky, 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.279 I bet. And you started writing songs yourself when you 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:17.240 were fifteen years old. Yeah, I started just taking stabs 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:18.839 at It was never really pushed on me. Do you 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:20.960 remember the first song you ever wrote. Yeah, I think 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.760 it's something called like Doorstep to a Girl about like 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.160 I like you, but I'm probably gonna come past the doorstep, 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:27.920 but I'll hang outside and flirt with you a little bit. 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.920 You were busting and I've never even heard of that term. 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:32.680 I guess it's more of a what is that a 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:34.560 West Coast term? I don't know. I didn't really heard 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:36.400 of it either. So you were a street performer in 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:38.359 other words, so you were doing what a lot of 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:41.520 people do here in Central Park or in the subway 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:44.760 waiting area you were performing. So what kind of things 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.080 were you doing and what did that experience teach you? 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:50.120 A lot? I understand quite a bit because at it's 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:53.279 very fundamental level, the idea of not waiting for anyone 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:56.120 and just going and doing it is really important in 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:59.040 any career, especially in arts. Do not wait for permission. 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:01.640 It's like free him of speech. You literally can't stop me. 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:04.560 I'm allowed to just start doing what I do. So 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:06.440 that was really important for me. So I did that 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:09.520 for four years, and I'm starting to learn what it 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:11.200 is that I had to offer and what was working 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:12.880 in what was not working? See what kind of songs 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:14.800 would you sing? I would sing covers, I would sing 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:17.040 my own originals and no one would stop, and you'd 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:18.560 be like, all right, well, I gotta write some more 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.320 um And I would, you know, cover Room five and 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:24.080 I cover one Republic. And I try, like Michael Jackson 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.400 and all these different things to see like what's working here, 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:28.960 trying to find myself, find my sound. I imagine that 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:33.279 you encountered all different kinds of people and a real 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:36.400 slice of humanity. You really do, And what'school is kind 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:37.719 of like being on tourist saying in one spot because 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:39.920 Santa Monica's tons of tourists come from. I was gonna say, 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:42.440 is that where you were Santa Monica? Where on Third 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:47.200 Street Promenade? And yeah, it was like this awesome wading 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.359 into the water of what it means to be an 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:52.640 artist and how honestly the whole ecosystem of what an 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:55.840 artist is, which is you put yourself out there. Some 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.760 people like it, most people don't. And if you can 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:02.160 hang with longs of solitude waiting while everybody's just ignoring you, 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:05.320 then there are these moments where something catches on and 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:07.640 now there's three people, there's five people, now there's a 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:12.320 hundred people, and you are the man for about twenty minutes. Crazy, 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.080 everybody wants your autograph on the street. Yeah, they will 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:17.640 buy your CD. You sign this for me. Holy crap, 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:19.640 this is awesome. And then they all leave and you're 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:21.680 back to like, Okay, I gotta figure out how to 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:26.440 build this back up again. I could not care le 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:35.600 us about today, job gossip, ordinary stress. So in the beginning, 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:38.320 when you're bad and you play, you would be giving 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:41.720 me attention, not me giving you a service, right like 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:44.280 you're giving to me because I'm bad to actually make 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:46.240 the switch to where like I'm doing something that is 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:48.600 beautiful or touching your heart or making you think, or 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:51.680 like actually giving to you. That actually switches it to 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:54.360 where like I'm giving you the service. And I, for 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:56.800 the first time with my music, started to do that 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.440 as a street performer. And actually those four years were 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:01.120 where it started switch. So by the time I left 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.560 the street, it was like cool a little bit figured 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:06.320 out how to write a song that gives rather than 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:11.280 just like asked for attention, show me women, give me. 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:22.560 You wrote your first song really based on your experiences 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.800 as a street performer, called Keep your Head Up, which 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:29.520 is such a great, fun, upbeat, catchy song, but you 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.680 were feeling kind of rejected when you wrote it. It 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:33.840 was a day of no one putting anything in my case, 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.959 which is usually I get there early, set up and 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:38.679 wait for spots. You're like there for like almost eight 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:41.120 to ten hours, so a full day of the world 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:45.520 being like no you sick or we're not interested, and 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:49.640 no enough of you. Um, So I packed up all 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:51.720 my stuff and then I literally did this. I looked 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.640 up at the sky and I said, I'm never leaving, 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:58.080 So your move like I'll be back for the for 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:00.600 the rest of ever, like until I go I'm here, 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:03.000 I will be here and I'm not going to stop 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.040 showing up, so you might as well just like make 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:06.880 something happen for me. And then I went home and 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:16.600 wrote a song. Up, keep your head up, your head up. 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:20.840 You wrote a song, it became a huge hit. You 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:22.440 put it out in the world. I mean, what was 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:26.480 that like? Here you were busting and suddenly you become 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:30.520 this well known singer songwriter. So what was that like? Yeah, 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:32.160 you hear on the radio, and then you're going around 0:09:32.280 --> 0:09:34.640 different parts of the country, in the world, and people start, 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:37.160 you know, see things on YouTube, everybody covering it, and 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:38.679 then you go to play a show and they're all 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:41.160 singing it. It was. It was pretty spectacular. Tell me 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:43.280 the process for writing a song, because I've played the 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:46.040 piano and I've always wanted to be a songwriter, you know, 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:48.760 I just think it would be so fun, and I've 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:50.800 tried a little bit. Of course we can make it. 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:53.560 Tried to write a song called if I Only knew. 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:57.400 My husband died of cancer, and I thought how different 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.000 people would act. I actually just went to a funeral 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.480 this morning of a dear friend who was killed in 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:05.720 car accident, And would you do anything differently if you 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:09.720 only knew that your time was limited? Would you be 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:12.880 more generous and loving and caring? And would you not 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:16.280 waste a moment being mad at someone or getting in 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:19.720 silly fights? And I just think the idea of really 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:24.520 taking advantage of every minute to be happy and loving 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.640 is so a wonderful thought. So if you want to 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:30.199 take that idea with it, you can. So this is 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.280 what I say. What songwriting is to me at least 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.360 is you have that thought, which is a great thought. 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:37.760 And I also like, if I only knew as a lyric, yeah, 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:40.000 it's like a great lyric. It's a great idea. And 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:42.199 then for anyone who's listening with the songwriter, this is 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:44.200 what's going to happen. You're going to write the song 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:47.160 and it's going to be so sincere in you, it's 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.720 like a perfect, pure little thing. And then in the 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.160 process of taking it out of you and actually putting 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:54.160 it out into the world, you will realize that it 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:56.319 fell apart and crumbled into like a terrible little thing. 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.839 And he'd be like, crap, it was so good in me. 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.040 I know it, I really like connecting to it. I 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.680 was getting so encouraged and to the said that, and 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:05.959 then as you take it out, it falls apart. So 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:07.880 the only way you can actually do it is to 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.360 write it again. Then you write it again, and then 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.120 you write it again, and then you write it again. 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.680 And being a good songwriter is someone who gets better 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.800 and better at the process of actually putting it into 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.600 the world in the way that it actually feels inside you, 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:22.840 because that is an unbelievable art. But I feel like 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:25.600 I need someone to help me because maybe I'm just 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.679 a lyricist and not necessarily a songwriter. That's very possible 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:31.480 either should be a duet, and I think we got it, Okay, 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.400 all right, Well we'll talk about figure out podcast when 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:36.520 we come back. We're going to talk about how to 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:41.040 stay positive in this increasingly depressing world we're living in, 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:46.000 because I think people are feeling anxious and unhappy and depressed. 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:49.480 And we're going to get your prescription how to click 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.440 that around fix everything. No problem, I got you when 0:11:52.440 --> 0:12:08.400 we come back, and he fixes the world. Music can 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:12.240 really change your mute so dramatically. I think that as 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.679 a songwriter, you're just trying to find what's true about 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:16.319 being here. For some reason, I don't know why, it's 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.600 harder to make the happy side of things sound cool, 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:21.679 but if you catch it, the world really needs it 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:25.200 and we all freak out. I've been waiting on the 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:30.400 sunset build on, Mama said, not kidding, Hi, Hi, having 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:36.480 my income, income's bread, Cromes, cobbin, trying to survive. We 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:39.480 talked about being surrounded by music as a kid and 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:43.600 by children's singers. Having parents who sing songs from the 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:47.320 time you're hopping out of the womb must kind of 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:49.800 make you a very happy person. But what else do 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:53.440 you think shaped you and made you positive? Because I 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:57.000 think we all have different thresholds of happiness and different 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.480 happiness levels. I think one of the quickest ways to 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:01.920 become happy be the only fail safe that I know, 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:08.200 is to be of service to other people stranger, which 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:11.080 sounds weird and ridiculous. It's kind of like when you 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:14.240 are laying on your couch and you're lethargic. What's the 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:15.680 best thing to make you feel better is to like 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:17.720 go for a run, and then you what do you know? 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:24.480 You feel better? So suddenly stranger in a world right 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:26.360 now and where everybody's got their phone in front of 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.480 their face and the cameras facing back at them all 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:31.800 day long. We're like very self right now, and I 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:34.600 think that makes you very unhappy. And the more that 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:37.880 you can go outward and do something for other people, 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:40.120 be of service to somebody else, figure out how what 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.800 your daily life is is being of service, that will 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.680 undeniably make you happier every time. I agree with you 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:47.640 because I was thinking about that as I was sitting 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.800 in this funeral service this morning, and I you know, 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:54.920 when you go to funerals, you hear such incredible things 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:58.080 about people, and you wonder, gosh, why didn't I know 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:01.600 this person better? Or how can I have what David 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:05.400 Brooks calls eulogy values? How can I be the kind 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:09.160 of person that people would say those things about, you know, 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:12.360 when they're no longer with us. And I started thinking 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:17.280 about when you're external facing, instead of so focused on 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:20.400 yourself and your own problems and your own complaints and 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:25.240 you know, things that are usually exaggerated, and instead kind 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:27.360 of look around and how can you help other people 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:30.720 and make them feel better instead of being consumed by 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.600 your own It is the quickest way to be happier now, 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:35.080 let me ask you this. You were at a funeral. 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.880 So I have a podcast about what I think are 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.200 the most interesting questions the good parts of our story. 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:42.160 What do you think happens when we die? Is one 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:44.360 of the things that I like to ask. I think nothing, 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:48.000 nothing lights out, game over. Yeah. What I love about 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:49.680 this question is there's no right answer, it's all. It's 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.120 all really fun. I was raised to Presbyterian. My mom 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.000 was Jewish, but I do sort of. I think believe 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:59.440 more in I agree more probably with the Jewish faith 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:02.400 that your spirit lives on in the hearts and mind, 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:08.240 that you you can shape other people who come after 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.960 you by your presence in their lives. That's what I think. 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:15.360 I wish I believed in heaven and you know that 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.440 I was going to be on a cloud eating Philadelphia 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:20.120 cream cheese. But I just don't think I do. How 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:22.920 about you? So I'm behind. One of the things that 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:26.200 I got from the behind faith was there's these writings 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:29.560 about how we believe that it's like the womb to 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:32.080 this place is a good analogy. So when you're in 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.320 the womb, you're growing arms and legs that you don't 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:36.480 necessarily know why you need them. It's actually making you 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.440 more uncomfortable in there. And then when it's time you 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.400 move into this new place where you get to use 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:43.240 these things that you were growing. Oh my god, this 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:46.480 is awesome. And it's a much vaster, crazier, cooler place 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:48.720 than you could ever imagine, right, much bigger than So 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:51.160 the idea is that this place here, living in life, 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:54.160 in the world, you're supposed to grow spiritually, and then 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.200 once you leave this place that then you use all 0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:59.800 that wherever you are next. So where is that where 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.800 It's impossible to describe. I don't think that it's a 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.640 cloud with cream cheese either. What do you think it is? 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:10.360 Do you think it's sort of some kind of particles? 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:13.800 Think my brain literally is incapable of understanding it. But 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:16.080 I do think that it is worth growing. It's like 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:18.320 we're here to grow for that place. So then when 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:22.280 you're talking about your friend's funeral, I am sad, but 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:25.040 I am also I do think that this this guy 0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:27.160 is in a really great place. You do, I really 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:31.120 genuinely do, And I've had many wild experiences with my 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:33.720 mom who's passed on that just like further that that's 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:35.760 you can't prove that to anybody, but in my own 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:38.640 personal beliefs, I think that he is in a wonderful place. 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.200 Tell me about your mom. You mentioned her. She died 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:45.360 a breast cancer when you were in your twenties, and 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:48.960 I'm curious how that affected you and how you were 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:53.960 able to maintain this sort of upbeat, positive attitude. I 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:55.840 have the song on my new album called Wish You Pain, 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:58.160 which kind of makes sense with this, which is like, 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:01.480 you only grow from things usually that are really, really difficult. 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:04.720 And if I was going to be someone who runs 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:06.680 around the world and sings songs that were trying to 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.359 uplift people, that would be pretty obnoxious if I didn't 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:13.720 understand pain. I hope your dads come like monsters and 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:17.560 terror raged dreams. I hope you feel the lonely hopelessness 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:20.800 because no one else believes. I hope you question whether 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:27.399 you ever really had a chance at all. Up until 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:30.560 that point in my life, life was pretty easy for me. 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:32.879 I like was good enough at sports. It was like 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.159 homecoming king. It wasn't like trying. It was just like 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:37.520 if I wasn't ever really happy, life is awesome. This 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:41.000 is great. And then I lost my mom and my 0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:44.920 whole world got completely rocked, and I was for about 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:47.520 a year and a half. I went from being the 0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:50.000 super gregarious guy to just like at the dinner table 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:55.200 or the friend table, just completely quiet, silent, taking in like, oh, 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:58.679 this is what so many people are feeling when it 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:02.200 comes to like sadness and pain and difficulty. I really 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:07.040 needed that to not be annoying, uh and not understand 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:09.720 I have any compassion towards how hard it can actually be. 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:13.320 So losing her was like very grounding. And I think 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:15.720 a song like keep your Head Up is saying be 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:20.360 happy amidst how difficult this is. Most happy songs are 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:24.920 still grounded in pain. I know that it might sound strange, 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:35.400 but whish you pain, whish you it was your mom 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:37.760 sick for a long time. It happened really fast. They 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:40.119 caught it late. She passed pretty soon after. We found 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:44.880 out again, what's crazy is my relationship with death is different. 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.239 She was behind too. I actually got to sit with 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.840 her and we had a whole conversation about like it 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:52.879 was almost like a train station for me where I 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:55.120 was like, oh my god, I'm so sad. I don't 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.280 want to lose you, But are you a little excited 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:00.199 about where you're going, and we had this awe, some 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:04.720 super intense conversation that was like, man, maybe I don't 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:06.800 know what is it? Who you know? So that is 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:09.879 either to anyone loosen that's either like a ridiculous, silly 0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:11.760 conversation between two people that are trying to make themselves 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:15.720 feel better totally fair possible, or a really really sweet, 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:18.280 spiritual conversation between a mother and his son. I love 0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:20.760 these conversations. These are my favorite. I hope it was 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:24.680 the latter, honestly, despite the fact that I'm a Scotia cynical, 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:27.359 but I know that you do something. You keep your 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:30.320 mom's spirit alive with something called Cathy Graham's. That's what 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:33.399 I did as a way to work through my grief. 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:35.000 I don't do it as much anymore, but right when 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:37.080 she passed away, I would at any of my shows 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:40.600 be like, if you're going through something, if you are 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:45.520 having struggles or troubles, as a way to get through this, 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:47.600 I will write you a Cathy Graham which is like 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:49.680 a short teeny little song, and I'll send it over 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.679 YouTube to you. It was kind of wild because you know, 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:54.200 you're just having a normal day and then you get 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:57.840 this email that says, I'm going into back surgery for 0:19:57.920 --> 0:19:59.800 the fourth time and I'm really stressed out about I 0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:02.040 don't of any arms or legs and I'm going into 0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:04.280 back surgery. You said you'd write a song like oh 0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:06.359 my God, so that I like get out my guitar 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:09.080 and like really fast, we got your back? Did you 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:11.720 get your back back? Right? It's like, send it off. 0:20:12.400 --> 0:20:15.000 Any of those I probably did about ten or twenty 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:17.160 of them in that period of my life. You're really upset, 0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:20.080 But then by doing things for others, it is amazing 0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:23.760 how quickly that makes you feel different. You know. Then 0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:26.960 you're getting these incredible, beautiful emails back from the family 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:29.359 of the girl saying like, oh my god, she's been 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:30.919 playing this over and over and over before she goes 0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:33.720 into surgery. There's a random stranger that now like, I'm 0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:35.840 like kind of family with you know. My whole musical 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:38.800 career is basically trying to do that as much as 0:20:38.800 --> 0:20:41.240 I can on like a worldwide scale. Meanwhile, you went 0:20:41.280 --> 0:20:43.560 on Dancing with the Stars in honor of your mom. 0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:46.080 She loved to dance. Yeah she did. Oh my god. 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:48.480 I watched that show sometimes and I think, would you 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:50.600