1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Chelsea Handler. Welcome to Life Will Be the 2 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: Death of Me, a production of I Heart Radio. Okay, 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: good morning everybody, Hello Brandon, this is me Chelsea. Hi. Hi. 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: This is going to be our last podcast out of 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: our twenty episode podcast series. This is our conclusion to 6 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: our podcast, our exit interview. This is our exit interview. Yes, 7 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: we're going to reflect, maybe talk about some new things. 8 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,319 Speaker 1: I think it's very serendipitous that this is the week 9 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: that Nancy Pelosi has also decided to go ahead and 10 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: impeach the president yciting things. Yeah, to start an impeachment inquiry. 11 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 1: Would you like to explain to people who are listening 12 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,840 Speaker 1: who may not know what the impeachment inquiry is, because 13 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: last night I had to Marco Polio to get some 14 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 1: insiders to what was really going on. Well, it means 15 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 1: that they're going to investigate whether or not to impeach him, 16 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: was my understanding is, and then the trial itself is 17 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: the actual impeachment. So whether or not he's found guilty, 18 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: at the end of his impeachment, he will have been 19 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: impeached if they choose to go to trial, if they 20 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: choose to hold an impeachment hearing, what I think. But 21 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: I could also be wrong, but I think I'm right, 22 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: But yeah, that doesn't matter anyway. I'm very excited about 23 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: your participation in the podcast. I think that you probably 24 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: had no idea you'd be podcasting so fervently. Yeah. People 25 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,119 Speaker 1: ask all the time if this was a planned thing, 26 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: and I said, you were literally out the door to 27 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: go interview Mary and said Brandon, come along, And I 28 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: thought I was just coming along for the ride, not 29 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: to actually be on the podcast. And lo and behold, right, 30 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: twenty episodes later, people think you're You're a huge hit. 31 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 1: People love you. They want to know what your Instagram 32 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,119 Speaker 1: handle is, and I tell them, but I don't really 33 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 1: respond to those kinds of questions. But I think you 34 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: can announce that you don't have one, because not have 35 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: any social media. Brandon and I are actually eating Wendy's 36 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 1: as we do this conclusion exit interview, because Wendy's was 37 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: on the way here and we got the spicy nut 38 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: will Powder, Well, I have no will powder powder. And 39 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: Brandon is from North Dakota, right south Dakota, right, like 40 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: I said, one of the Dakotas, and so he eats 41 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: this kind of ship all day long and then goes 42 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: to his spin classes for four hours a day. Yeah, 43 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: that's true. It's spend a lot of time with I'll 44 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: chew off, I'll chew off Mike. Um. Yes, we got 45 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: one owner of spicy chicken nuggets, one order of regular 46 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: chicken nuggets mine or the regular. I don't even need 47 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,959 Speaker 1: sauce with them. They're so fucking delicious. You're really good. 48 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 1: And we got an order of fries, which neither one 49 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: of us love their new fries, but it'll do. I 50 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,079 Speaker 1: grew up with Wendy's, and I would like to say 51 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: that chicken McNuggets from McDonald's I find repulsive, but chicken 52 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: nuggets from Wendy's I find a plus plus because you 53 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: don't get the weird tendons. God, it's like when you 54 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: get those frozen ones where they say with ribbed meat 55 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: in that small font or print, you like, excuse me 56 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: why the fund is rib meat involved in that. What's 57 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: interesting is a lot of places use the small print 58 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: for things they don't want you to know. But if 59 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: you eat a bag of pork crimes on the bag 60 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: in big font, it will say it may cause anal leakage. 61 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember that controversy pork crimes 62 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: cause an a leakage. I think so there was like 63 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 1: a chip, a snack of sorts that came out that 64 00:02:57,919 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: would cause any leakage, and they didn't hide that from you. 65 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: They told you in big And what does it have 66 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 1: like methanism? I don't make pork rinds. I'm not sure 67 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: the science behind it, but this was a thing. So 68 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: I've never eaten pork rins. It's not my thing. I mean, 69 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: maybe I've had some real pork skin at some point, 70 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 1: but pork ron's has never been my go to. You know, 71 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 1: it sounds so gross, pork rime. I know people on 72 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: Keto diets love a pork rind because people on Keto 73 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: diets also like to have an a leakage, I guess. 74 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: So bringing it back to hip for the last episode, 75 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: but that's all I ever talked about is feculence. Feculence 76 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: and ship. Why don't we talk about our journey, Brandon, 77 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: our journey together. In the past three years, you've been 78 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: witnessed to all of my changes and all of my 79 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: self discovery and self awareness, which has prompted you to 80 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 1: do some self discovery. How's your meditation going. It's good. 81 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 1: I've been doing it regularly, not every day, but maybe 82 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: every other day, just getting in a better routine. Yeah, 83 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: the last couple of days. I had a wedding in Tiles, 84 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: New Mexico this weekend, and my friend tried to kill 85 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: me with alcohol. So I have been recovering for like 86 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: two days. I felt nauseous for the last forty eight 87 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: hours because you don't drink anymore, I know, So it's 88 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: a real I do drink, but this is a real 89 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: conundrum for me because I can't afford to be that hungover. 90 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: I mean, I guess I can, but I don't want 91 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: to be that hungover. So it's like, if you drink 92 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: all the time, you don't get a hangover, which is better, 93 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: but then you're just inveterately bloated. And if you cut 94 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: back on your drinking and you only drink once in 95 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 1: a while, then you really really feel it. So I'm 96 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 1: at a crossroads. I think you just have to lean 97 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 1: into the cannabis and you have to like let the 98 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 1: drinking go. If you know you're getting to that point, No, 99 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: if you know you're getting that point, you're like, this 100 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: is gonna be a rough couple of days, you rein 101 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: it in just pop another edible. I packed enough Now, 102 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: I took a lot of edibles and I drank a 103 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: lot of alcohol, like I did both, and so you 104 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 1: double down and that's why you're feeling like ship. Yeah, 105 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,919 Speaker 1: I did, I think sometimes so you know, with the cannabis, 106 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 1: you don't want to be too high because then you're 107 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 1: just like out on cloud nine. My friend Mary told me, 108 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,559 Speaker 1: she goes, you know, sometimes the cannabis is cute and everything, 109 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: but sometimes you're just like not even communicative while you're 110 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: sitting there. So that I love about it. So that's 111 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: too much unless you're alone, Like when I go home 112 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: at night in bed and I like last night, I 113 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 1: took twenty milligrams and I was like, here, just wait 114 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: till you fall asleep. Sister, do you remember when we 115 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: were in Sun Valley, we watched the entire series of 116 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 1: that show. We'd get in bed on and edible every 117 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: night and we'd have to rewatch and rewatch and we 118 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: didn't say a word to each other because we didn't 119 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: remember what show was it. I can't remember the name 120 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: of it. See that's what's great about television. Watch you 121 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,359 Speaker 1: can keep rewatching shows you thought you've already watched. Okay, 122 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: So in terms of health and self awareness, I want 123 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: to just talk about a couple of things. People seem 124 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: to be very responsive to me sharing all of my 125 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: therapy stuff, So I want to talk about reaction versus response, 126 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 1: because that was my major issue when I went in, 127 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,799 Speaker 1: was my lack of patience and my reactivity. I didn't 128 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 1: think before I responded, And what Dan taught me was 129 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:59,599 Speaker 1: there's a space of awareness between those two things. You know, 130 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: I talked about this last week a little bit with 131 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 1: Laura Lynn Jackson. But there's a reaction and then there's 132 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,719 Speaker 1: a consideration for your reaction because sometimes we react with 133 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: our bodies before our minds, and we have a physical 134 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: feeling towards something, and there's a space of awareness is 135 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: where you can identify that and then respond instead of react. 136 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 1: And that's something that people have mentioned to me has 137 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 1: helped them a lot. So it's really easy to incorporate 138 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,920 Speaker 1: that into your life if you've tried it, and then 139 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: eventually it just becomes you know, your habit and you 140 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: can kind of rehabituate your bad habits. And that goes 141 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: back to Dan's and your creation of I'm I am, 142 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: I am identification awareness modification. So like if somebody says 143 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: something to you two that is annoying or that you 144 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: find annoying, or somebody is annoying, it's about, oh wait, 145 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 1: why am I reacting this way? Why do I not 146 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,559 Speaker 1: like this person? Is it really because of that person 147 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: or is it because of something that that person is 148 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: doing that reminds me of myself? Which usually if somebody 149 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: is annoying you, it's because you see something in yourself 150 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: in them that you do not like. You know, what 151 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: I found interesting lately is your vocalization of how you're 152 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 1: feeling because before so when you started therapy, I could 153 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: see you making the adjustments even if you weren't saying anything, 154 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 1: like you taking a second before you respond to a 155 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: dumb question that I'm asking, or we have a lot 156 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: of people around the house that meander through for different reasons. 157 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 1: Brandon loves it because he gets a kickback. Brandon gets 158 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: a lot of kickbacks on any improvements that I have 159 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: on the house. Oh that's why I have seventeen remote controls, 160 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: because I believe he gets ten percent of each remote control. 161 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: And every time there's a new TV installed, or there's 162 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: always audio visual amount of money is worth the trouble 163 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: all those fucking remote cause so I can tell you 164 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 1: what sister outdoor patio furniture gets stained and odd colors, 165 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: and then we have to hire outside companies to restain it. 166 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: I mean, ever since he's worked here, things are a 167 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: hot mass at my house. I mean the money is 168 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: going out, out, out, out out, and it's not coming in, 169 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: is it. I have to say, for the record, I 170 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: am very frugal and very thoughtful about how and where 171 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: I spend your money. Look at the house of Spain. 172 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 1: Look at the house in Spain. We leave it to 173 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 1: anyone else, and then there's all these problems. People say, 174 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: oh you know, they go there and they said this 175 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: wasn't right and this wasn't right. And now Brandon has 176 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: to go for two weeks to vacation in Spain. At 177 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: my house. They're just to set everything right. Isn't that right? Brandon? 178 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,559 Speaker 1: There is some truth? Are you bringing? Are you bringing 179 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 1: your lover with you to Spain? You know I wasn't 180 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: going to be able to be he his going what's 181 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: coinky dink? That's so funny. That's such a surprise and 182 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: is my Bell going to Spain Nobell? Not? Do you 183 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: and my Bell have a rivalry? No, I think we're 184 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: I think we're on the up and up. You're in 185 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 1: good shape with each other. She doesn't listen to this podcast, 186 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: so you can talk about her if you want. Know. 187 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: Everything with me and Bell is fine. She doesn't like feedback. Mabel. 188 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: Mabel is the head han show at the house. To 189 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: be completely honest, like I should really be taking direction 190 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: from She's been there forever she deserves. She was with 191 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 1: me when I broke up with Ted and I moved 192 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: into my own apartment and she was the first woman 193 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: I saw. I moved into some apartment and she was 194 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: in house cleaning lady and I walked in and this 195 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 1: was like ten years ago or probably longer, and she 196 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: was like, Oh, my husband is terrible. He doesn't have 197 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 1: a car. And I was like, fuck, here we go. 198 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to buy this woman a car. And 199 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 1: then that's exactly what happened, and now we're still My 200 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: father was used car de Lebrandon. Okay, I'm just trying 201 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: to keep the business in the family. I understand it. Yeah, 202 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 1: so you've noticed that. Now I'm saying I don't. Okay. 203 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: So the other day you and this has happened more 204 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 1: than once, but the most recent you had said that 205 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 1: you were feeling ornery, and and even though you were 206 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 1: saying it in jest, you've done that now where you're like, 207 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: I'm not in a good mood, or you'll tell me 208 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 1: before you say something that I might take personally. Perhaps, 209 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: how does that come across? I think that's much healthier 210 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: that you're acknowledging that you're like, I'm in a bad 211 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,080 Speaker 1: mood right now, just letting you know, because like I've 212 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: had to say to you, like I'm I feel wound 213 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: very tight today. And even though sometimes I feel like 214 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,079 Speaker 1: that's not professional, I think it because some of the 215 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: job crosses over between personal and professional. Telling you this morning, 216 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,679 Speaker 1: what part of the job do you think crosses over 217 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: from professional to personal? You prying on my naked body 218 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: in the morning when I'm in my broad underwear, or 219 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: when I'm coming out of the shower and you're in 220 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,599 Speaker 1: the bathroom. Yeah, I mean those are a couple of 221 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:18,840 Speaker 1: examples reverse sexual harassment. Just so you know, I guess 222 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 1: you're right, and I could press charges if I knew 223 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,199 Speaker 1: who to talk to. Take into consideration. I mean, seriously, 224 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: you're sexually harassing me if I get out of the 225 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 1: shower and my beaver and my boobies are exposed and 226 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: you're just, you know, lollygagging around on my night covers. 227 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 1: I always do seem to cross your path right when 228 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: you are exposing yourself, right as I'm walking out of 229 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: the shower into my bathroom or into my closet to 230 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 1: get dressed. I guess who pops up. Let's talk about 231 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 1: my relationship with Burton Bernice, because I think that one 232 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: has improved the most since my therapy. I'm really interested 233 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: in all the relationships and how they've because I would 234 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 1: say that I have less people in my life now 235 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 1: socially then I did for a long time, Like I've 236 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: not thinned the herd, because that sounds like, but there 237 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 1: are only people really in my life now that I'm 238 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,199 Speaker 1: really really close with. I think you're not bringing people 239 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: in is the difference. So like in the book, you 240 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: talk about the scorched earth basically where it's like if 241 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: someone does you wrong, they're donezo. And I don't think 242 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: that that's been the case at all really in the 243 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: last eighteen months. It's just that you're not as prone 244 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,359 Speaker 1: to bringing someone in. You're a little bit more reserved 245 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,200 Speaker 1: with well. I think what the biggest differences is that 246 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 1: I enjoy my time alone more than I ever have 247 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,680 Speaker 1: in my life. I used to not be able to 248 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 1: hang out alone. I wanted people in my house all 249 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: the time. I wanted a full house. So the biggest 250 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 1: difference is that I like coming home alone, and I 251 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: like spending time with the dogs alone, and I do 252 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 1: value like my time alone. I spend more time alone. 253 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: I sit outside and read more, and I don't need 254 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: noise as much as I used to, which is a 255 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: nice it's a relief. And I didn't realize how many 256 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: times I was leaning on socializing instead of just being 257 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,599 Speaker 1: alone with myself. It was a kind of a distraction. 258 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: And socializing is good, but I mean, I've done plenty 259 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: of socializing in my life, Like I'm good if I 260 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 1: want to take a little break from it. Do you 261 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 1: feel the need to force yourself into those social interactions now, Yeah, yeah, 262 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 1: I do sometimes. I mean I can become a little 263 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 1: bit of a recluse, but that's only because when I go, 264 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: I go so hard. And if I'm promoting the book 265 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,719 Speaker 1: or if I'm on the road or promoting the documentary, 266 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: it's like it's intense, intense, intense, and then I need 267 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: to ze compress, which is actually something I never used 268 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: to do. I did never like spent a day alone. 269 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: But it's good to be interested in doing that. And 270 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,839 Speaker 1: it's good to be reading so many books. That's something 271 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 1: that I was missing for a few years. I wasn't 272 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 1: reading as many books as I used to. And uh, 273 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,079 Speaker 1: I like that aspect. You're reading more to Brandon, I'm 274 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: trying to Yeah, you're finishing more books. Right when I started, 275 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: so about three years ago, you would start a lot 276 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,320 Speaker 1: of books and they would all have a few chapters 277 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 1: in and now you actually finished and pass it on 278 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: to somebody else. Yeah, that's writing, Tampa, because you finished it, 279 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 1: you're still reading that fucking book. I mean, I do 280 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: work a full time job. Where where do you work? 281 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,599 Speaker 1: Do you think getting all these kick is easy? I 282 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: gotta meet with these people, go golfing. It's unbearable. All right. 283 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: Well back to kind of the last year, you release 284 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: the book, you started in conversations, You've gone into stand up, 285 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 1: you just had a documentary release, I have this podcast. Yeah, 286 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 1: you have the podcast. Has there been one interaction since 287 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 1: your growth that has really stood out to you, either 288 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 1: with a fan or with one of your friends, or 289 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: just like a moment in the last year that has 290 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: been kind of profound for you. I've gotten I mean, 291 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,719 Speaker 1: I've been getting a ton of messages that are just 292 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,439 Speaker 1: so much different than the tone of messages I used 293 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: to get, and like I get a lot of I guess, 294 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 1: you know, being on the road and doing these backstage 295 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 1: we have these meet and greets after the shows, and 296 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,679 Speaker 1: people will say, oh, my gosh, I grew up on 297 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,559 Speaker 1: Chelsea Lately. I grew up on Chelsea Lately. Like I 298 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: didn't realize at the time how popular that show was. 299 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:50,720 Speaker 1: Very popular. Yeah, I didn't get that. So I think 300 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 1: it's interesting now that I'm in this phase that I'm 301 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,559 Speaker 1: hearing all of that feedback, all these girls that are like, 302 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 1: you know, twenty or that are like, oh my god, 303 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 1: we've grew up watching you. That was nice because I 304 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,319 Speaker 1: was ready to hear it before when people used to 305 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,600 Speaker 1: talk about Chelsea Lately. I'd be like, oh God, up 306 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 1: about that show already. I wasn't as proud of it 307 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: as maybe I should have been. In terms of it 308 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,440 Speaker 1: being perceived in the way it was and being motivating 309 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: two girls to be proud of who they are and 310 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: and have a loud voice. So all of those things, 311 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: there were good things that came out of it as well. 312 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: Um I think I pooh pooed it for a long 313 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: time because it was just such a hard job to 314 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: leave and it was like one of those ex boyfriends 315 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 1: that I was trying to break up with and I 316 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: couldn't and then I did and I was like, please 317 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: don't talk to me again. So that's nice to hear. 318 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: And I think the feedback in general from the book 319 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,400 Speaker 1: and the documentary has been really nice because it feels 320 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: like I'm finally contributing something instead of just cashing a 321 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: check from my own purposes. Like what's nice to be 322 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: able to say I want to do a documentary and 323 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: about this subject matter and let and and be able 324 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 1: to you know, that in itself is a privilege, and 325 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: it's also being around for so many years and being 326 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: able to decide what you're gonna do creatively is a 327 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 1: huge privilege. But I now realize how much privilege I have, 328 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: so I'm much more careful with it. I feel like 329 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 1: in terms of what I'm going to use that advantage for. 330 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: You can write a book about anything, you know. I 331 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 1: wanted to write a book about something meaningful and true, 332 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: and I wanted to do a documentary about an issue 333 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 1: that was going to make people uncomfortable at myself included 334 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: and like and get answers and start a conversation. Was 335 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: it scary to make that choice to leave a hit show, 336 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: go into another show that was doing really well and say, like, 337 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 1: I don't want to do any of it anymore. I 338 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 1: want to focus on myself and helping other people. Yeah, 339 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 1: but it's good to be I mean it was. It 340 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: wasn't hard because I'm so impulsive that I didn't really 341 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: have to think about it. I just had. I knew 342 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 1: I had to do it. But it's a little bit destabilizing, 343 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: but it's I I like that. I like it a 344 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 1: little destabilization because you kind of have to scramble and 345 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 1: figure out what you're gonna do and how you're gonna 346 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: do it and what your moves are going to be. 347 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,360 Speaker 1: But everything always works out. Do you think you're more 348 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: successful ventures have been the ones where you've not thought 349 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: about them, or the ones where you've taken a lot 350 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: of time. Yeah, I think the ones that are more thoughtful, 351 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 1: the ones that are the most authentic, the ones that 352 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 1: are true. Like the Chelsea Does series on Netflix was 353 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: really authentic for me, and that was great, And this documentary, 354 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,360 Speaker 1: I mean, that's where I'm what I'm drawn to the 355 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 1: most now is having conversations with real people about real 356 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 1: issues and real ways to get involved, to do actionable things, 357 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: to show up for other communities, not just your own. Okay, 358 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. 359 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: Well back to what's important. Okay. So one night I 360 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 1: had this epiphany. I was really stoned, and I was 361 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 1: in my bed and I was like, because you know, 362 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,560 Speaker 1: I assault anybody who is listening to this Burton Bernie 363 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: or my dogs, and if you don't know that by now, 364 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: then you don't know me. So one night they came 365 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: over and I was like, you know what, I'm not 366 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 1: going to assault them, because that's my problem. I cannot 367 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 1: keep my hands off of them. I get a little 368 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: bit of Harvey Wine stain around my dogs and I 369 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,120 Speaker 1: know they don't like it, but I don't get to 370 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: spend as much time with them as I would like 371 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 1: because Birt's too fat to travel and Bernice is a 372 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:08,640 Speaker 1: bit so I sometimes want to grab them and put 373 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 1: them in my bed. And I used to take them 374 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: upstairs with a leash and force them to go. I 375 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 1: had to guide them or lure them with turkey or 376 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: roast beef or whatever. You know, my bell decides to 377 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: buy that week, because obviously I'm out of those decisions. 378 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 1: And I one night, I was like, oh, I was all. 379 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 1: You know, I was going through this phase about learning 380 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: how to be present and what that meant and and 381 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,439 Speaker 1: not trying to get them to come to me, but 382 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 1: just being aware and being there. And as soon as 383 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: I stopped tackling them, they both kind of like meandered 384 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,199 Speaker 1: over to me and both wanted to like be in 385 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: bed with me without me pursuing them. And I was like, Oh, 386 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 1: that's what it's like. You just have to be available, 387 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 1: not be pushing it. And of course I haven't been 388 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,640 Speaker 1: able to follow that because you know, you've seen Bird 389 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 1: walking around the house strutting his stuff. It's very hard 390 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 1: for me not to pick him up, spin him around 391 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: on his back and rub his balet while his head 392 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: is in my lap. He is just such a meaty 393 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 1: little names just so, such a fur ball. And when 394 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,200 Speaker 1: I sleep at night and his head is on my chest, 395 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,120 Speaker 1: it's like having the lion came with me. Bernice won't 396 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 1: stay in the bed because she knows that I got 397 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 1: to take a piss in the bathroom. Yeah, she likes 398 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: to piss in the bathroom. Well, last night I did 399 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 1: go to beds fairly early, so she was probably holding 400 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 1: her bladder. But at least they're going in the bathroom 401 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,199 Speaker 1: now on the hardwood instead of the us or on 402 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,160 Speaker 1: the hard floors. I should say the success. Yes, but 403 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,399 Speaker 1: my relationship with them has blossomed. For those of you concerned, 404 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 1: they do love me more than they used to. Like 405 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 1: Bernice comes in the car with me whenever I go 406 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 1: to ben Bruno or can take her and Bert is 407 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,160 Speaker 1: you take her places to that? I have to question. 408 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, are you sure you can take her into 409 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 1: the doctor's office. Well, in those instances, she doesn't come 410 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,639 Speaker 1: into a doctor's office. She sits in the car with 411 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 1: the windows open. And in the tesla they have the 412 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: air conditioning for dogs, so when you get out you 413 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: can leave the A cr has everything. Yeah, it does. 414 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,480 Speaker 1: I wonder how much money you got for that car, 415 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: don't worry about it. Yeah. So you've been seeing Dan 416 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 1: now for about two years. You don't go as frequently 417 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,160 Speaker 1: as you used to. But has there been an instance 418 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: where you're like, oh, I need to recoporate. I better 419 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 1: go see Dan. What was the last time you're like this, 420 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 1: I need to tune up. Uh? Well, I try to 421 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,199 Speaker 1: see him, Like, you know, I haven't seen him in 422 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 1: like probably three weeks right now, but I don't see 423 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: him as much as I used to because I think 424 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 1: the important thing about therapy, and I maybe read this somewhere, 425 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: but is that you get all this information and then 426 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,680 Speaker 1: you need to learn how to apply it to your 427 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 1: real life without being in a codependent relationship with your therapist. 428 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be the type of person 429 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: that's calling Dan on the phone in a crisis. I 430 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,400 Speaker 1: want to be able to manage my own crisis. Has 431 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 1: there been a time where something happened and you're like 432 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: Brandon schedule disappointment. Yes, yeah, I mean not recently, but yeah, 433 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 1: and while I was in therapy, for sure, Like I 434 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 1: went on a trip with a friend and we got 435 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 1: into it and I thought I wasn't doing anything but 436 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 1: you know wrong, And he guided me about apologizing and 437 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 1: I was like, no way am I going to apologize. 438 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 1: I haven't done anything. And he's like, that's not the point, 439 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 1: and he goes, it's not about being right, it's about 440 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 1: being empathetic, Like it doesn't matter if you think you 441 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 1: did anything wrong. You have to just be a good 442 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,040 Speaker 1: friend and say I'm so sorry I made you feel 443 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 1: that way, I'm so sorry this and that, And it 444 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: was really hard for me to do that, but I 445 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 1: I am so glad I did because that was the 446 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,199 Speaker 1: first step in being able to forgive people, especially when 447 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 1: you don't think you've done anything wrong, because it really 448 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,359 Speaker 1: is about the need to be right is always wrong. 449 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,200 Speaker 1: So the need to prove your point. You know what, 450 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: just yesterday you were trying to prove your point to 451 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: me because I had sucked up something and you were 452 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: right about it. Do you remember what that was. No, 453 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 1: I tried to not do that or make you feel 454 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,440 Speaker 1: that way. Well, you did it well and I heard 455 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: you loud and clear. You were right. So I hope 456 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,879 Speaker 1: you're happy. I wish I knew what it was, and 457 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: I'd be thrilled, I'm sure, But the need to be 458 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 1: right was a good thing. And that's also another thing 459 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 1: for people who are like really into learning about I 460 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,840 Speaker 1: don't know, I guess presents and like Eckart Toole and 461 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 1: that Oprah win Free. That ten episode podcast about a 462 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: New Earth was so helpful to me in terms of 463 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,919 Speaker 1: understanding about not sweating the small stuff, about not getting 464 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 1: stressed out about stupid little things, trying not to obviously 465 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:15,120 Speaker 1: I'm not perfect um, and that everything will be okay. 466 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 1: I used to get so annoyed with people when they 467 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,199 Speaker 1: said everything's going to be okay, because it's like, what 468 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 1: a pat statement. How can you say everything's gonna be okay? 469 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 1: But the bottom line is, even if people die, even 470 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: if people get sick, you are going to be okay. 471 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,159 Speaker 1: As long as you're breathing, you have the chance to 472 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:35,879 Speaker 1: be okay. And so that, in conjunction with Dan really 473 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: let me understand Okay, there's no reason to stress anymore. 474 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 1: There's no reason to get an email and freak out 475 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: and stomp your fingers and responding to it. It's just 476 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 1: better to like let everybody be and just chill and 477 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,439 Speaker 1: have a positive vibration. I think that's important to not 478 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,639 Speaker 1: bring in, like, you know, the negativity and stuff, because 479 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: it's hard when you're like me. You know, everyone knows 480 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,640 Speaker 1: what kind of mood I'm in basically the way I look, 481 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 1: So it's it's beneficial for me to be able to 482 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: be in a good mood most of the time. And 483 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,920 Speaker 1: I would say I am pretty most of the time 484 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,159 Speaker 1: in a good mood on the days that you're not. 485 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,360 Speaker 1: Do you have a mantra that you use? I think 486 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,640 Speaker 1: mantras are so stupid. But you're just saying that everything's 487 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 1: okay because mine is. Is it really worth being mad over? 488 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: But I think I've said that to you before because 489 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 1: my aunt told me that I would get so angry 490 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 1: about everything, and one time we were on the phone 491 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 1: and I was bitching about something. She goes, but is 492 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: it really worth thing mad over? Like, start asking yourself 493 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,800 Speaker 1: that because everything that's not Yeah, that's a good point. Now, 494 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,159 Speaker 1: I don't have a mantra, because you know that's the 495 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 1: stupid thing. No, just kidding, I know people have them. 496 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,200 Speaker 1: I don't have a mantra. I just kind of just breathe. 497 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,199 Speaker 1: I'm really into like taking a deep breath and just 498 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 1: being present. And it sounds really corny, but it's corny 499 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,639 Speaker 1: because it's it's like, it's works. It totally works. You know. 500 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,159 Speaker 1: I never was conscious about my breathing. I was never like, 501 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,280 Speaker 1: if somebody is talking a lot and I feel judgment 502 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 1: and like, oh my god, why won't they shut up? 503 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,399 Speaker 1: I take a breath. Anytime I feel judgment towards anyone, 504 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: I'm like, take a deep breath and be in the moment, 505 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 1: like you have no right to be judging other people. 506 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,919 Speaker 1: And that's nice. I think for a long time, I 507 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 1: felt I had a superiority complex because I felt like 508 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 1: I just knew a little bit more than everybody, and 509 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 1: that was you know, Dan kind of took that away 510 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: from me, like he made me understand, oh, we're all 511 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,399 Speaker 1: here together, we're all equal. You're not doing more than 512 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 1: another person. You don't have more of a burden than 513 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 1: another person. It's just all part of your perspective. And 514 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: once I got on an even playing field and realized, Okay, 515 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: I'm down with the people. There's nothing special about me, 516 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 1: then I started to get real. And then you feel 517 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 1: really grounded. I feel way more in control of my 518 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 1: life than I ever have because I know that I've 519 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 1: got my head on straight. Now. So what would you 520 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,239 Speaker 1: say to the people listening who feel that they are 521 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: too self aware or that they're superior to therapy, that 522 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 1: they feel like they know too much to need to 523 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,159 Speaker 1: talk to someone, Well, maybe you know some people. I 524 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 1: don't know that every single person needs therapy. I would 525 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: say that most people who claim to be self aware 526 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: are probably not. You know, I think anytime you claim 527 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,360 Speaker 1: to be something, it's probably not that true. Are those 528 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,160 Speaker 1: people who need therapy most? Maybe? I mean I don't 529 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 1: think everybody needs therapy, but everybody needs the space to 530 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 1: like think and reflect and be calm. So it's like 531 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: whether that's yoga or meditation, or therapy or going for 532 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 1: a run. You know, there are different forms of it, 533 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 1: but there's great value to me and paying somebody to 534 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 1: tell you what your issues are, you know, I like 535 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 1: that transaction. I like paying Dan to say, hey, you 536 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,640 Speaker 1: have an empathy deficit and you have you know, like 537 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 1: that's really helpful. UM so much so, you know what 538 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,439 Speaker 1: I watched the other nights UM Couples Therapy on on showtime. 539 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,480 Speaker 1: Have you seen that? I heard of it? It was 540 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 1: really good. It's like this it's a real therapist and 541 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,520 Speaker 1: she has like five different couples. They rotate in and out, 542 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 1: and they take this whole season takes you through all 543 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: these different couple stories and whether break up or stay together, 544 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 1: and then her story with her clinical advisor about how 545 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,679 Speaker 1: she deals with being a therapist and getting like a 546 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 1: second opinion on her. It's really good. I mean, I 547 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,359 Speaker 1: watched the whole series yesterday when I was in bed 548 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: or Sunday. But that's a good recommendation on on Showtime. Okay, well, 549 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,119 Speaker 1: this sounds like a good time to take a break. 550 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 1: There's another disgusting show on Showtime about Roger Ailes called 551 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 1: The Loudest Voice, where he gets a blowjob from Annabelle 552 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:37,600 Speaker 1: Wallace that is so revolting, It is so disgusting, and 553 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 1: Roger Ailes just basically went into work every day and 554 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,760 Speaker 1: thought he was supposed to get his dick sucked by 555 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,439 Speaker 1: any woman that was working there, and a lot of 556 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 1: them did it. And that was one of the most 557 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,360 Speaker 1: upsetting series I've ever seen, because I just, I mean, 558 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,040 Speaker 1: I literally turned off the TV and just sat in 559 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: bed thinking about how disgusting he was and how how 560 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 1: foul men are to assume that women are there to 561 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,640 Speaker 1: suck dick. I mean, honestly, aren't they doing a movie 562 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: with Charley's Yeah, Charley says, a movie with Nicole kimm 563 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: In and Margot Robbie coming out on the Roger Ale story. 564 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,880 Speaker 1: I don't know when that comes out, probably soon. It's 565 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 1: fascinating though. I also watched Chernobyl last night. Once we 566 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 1: got you logged into HBO go yeah, yeah, Brandon, once 567 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 1: you got your kick back from HBO co I'll be 568 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: able to retire soon for anyone listening, just I thought 569 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:30,640 Speaker 1: I thought we were retiring together. We are. We're gonna 570 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: go skiing this winter and we're gonna find a ski 571 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,000 Speaker 1: Shelle and I want to tell all our podcast listeners 572 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,920 Speaker 1: to that. Um, I will be back with a podcast 573 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,879 Speaker 1: when I have something interesting to podcast about. It's just 574 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 1: not something I wanted to do, like ongoing every week. 575 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 1: I'm about to leave for a month on tour, so 576 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to Australia. I'm going to Brisbane, Sydney and 577 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,399 Speaker 1: Melbourne and Auckland to perform, and then I'm going to 578 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,919 Speaker 1: go on vacation. I'm going to Portugal and Spain. Am 579 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: I meeting up with you in Spain? Brandon? We will 580 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,959 Speaker 1: not cross paths, but will have the house set up 581 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,159 Speaker 1: for your beautiful Brandon. We're going to Spain for my 582 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 1: sister Shoshana's fiftieth birthday, which means she's been alive for 583 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 1: fifty years, which is so fucking weird. Yeah, aging is 584 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 1: really tricky. And yeah, I'm going to be forty five 585 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 1: this year and you just Brandon, I can't believe I 586 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 1: scored such a young buck. I know, and I'm here 587 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,719 Speaker 1: for the long haul. What other questions do you have 588 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,119 Speaker 1: for me? Brandon? Well, do you ever feel like you're 589 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:34,280 Speaker 1: plateau ing and your personal growth? Um, that's a good question. Yeah, 590 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 1: I mean I don't know, I think with anything. I 591 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,439 Speaker 1: think my friend once told me this that his his 592 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: mom was a teacher, and she's like, there's a period 593 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 1: of learning and then there's a period of growth for 594 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: all young kids. Like you absorb, you absorb your information 595 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,600 Speaker 1: and then you enact it like and you and and 596 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,479 Speaker 1: it and it becomes part of your life and then 597 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,680 Speaker 1: you actually have time to digest it. So like going 598 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,919 Speaker 1: to school, you're like, all this information is thrown at 599 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: you and then say you have summer break to attally contemplated, 600 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 1: even though that's not what summer feels like it's kind 601 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,359 Speaker 1: of the information and the learning registering in your brain. 602 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: And that's how I feel about therapy. I feel like 603 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 1: I went full throttle for about a year and a 604 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:19,119 Speaker 1: half or two years, and then I just decided to 605 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,359 Speaker 1: pare it down. The thing that I have a real 606 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 1: issue with is social media is something that I needed 607 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 1: to I need to come like to reconcile with because 608 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: I don't approve of it yet I am part of it, 609 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 1: you know. I feel like it's detrimental for so many reasons, 610 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 1: and I don't like myself on it, Like when I'm 611 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 1: when I'm scrolling and read like, I want to be 612 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 1: in engaging with my fans. That's important to me, and 613 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,160 Speaker 1: I do that on social media a lot. So it's 614 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 1: kind of like it's actually for people who don't know 615 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 1: it is actually her who's commenting back, And yeah, my 616 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: assistants aren't commenting back on d M S. I am 617 00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,719 Speaker 1: and and but that you know, also, I don't need 618 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: any damns about cock sucking or you know, your paintings, 619 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 1: Like I'm just responding to people who have questions and 620 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 1: comments about the work that I'm doing. But I definitely 621 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 1: find you know, like for instance, when my book came 622 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 1: out and my documentary came out, both of those surrounding days, 623 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 1: I was like tied to my screen and checking messages 624 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 1: and responding. And while that's good and it don't I don't, 625 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 1: you know, let it go on for more than that. 626 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 1: It still feels like it's doing me. I'm not doing it. 627 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:28,960 Speaker 1: And what are you checking for? Are you checking for? 628 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean I'm checking for. No, I'm 629 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: checking to engage with my fans, That's what I'm doing. 630 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: I try not to scroll around on Instagram for too 631 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 1: long because that just leads to silliness. Um. I try 632 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: and support the people that I love that are on 633 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,640 Speaker 1: there and leave comments when I can, But I don't 634 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 1: like it. It's like anything in life, like the cannabis. 635 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 1: I don't want cannabis to do me. I want to 636 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 1: do cannabis. I don't want alcohol to do me. I 637 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 1: want to do alcohol. I want to be in control 638 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: of all of the extracurricular activities I have. And Twitter 639 00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 1: I like because it's actually much more informational, but Instagrams specifically, 640 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: there's just like I have a resistance to it. I 641 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: think it's so bad for a lot of people's mental health. 642 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 1: I know it was for me that you just it's 643 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 1: also just staring into a black hole at all times, 644 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: and it's just dumb. It's dumb like on vacation, when 645 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 1: our families on vacation and you know, anyone's on their phone. 646 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,360 Speaker 1: It's annoying. It's like, are you seriously checking Instagram right now? 647 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm guilty of that too, but it just 648 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: feels like it's not a good the best use of 649 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: anyone's time, and like let's all be a little bit 650 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 1: more cognizant of that. But the therapy has forced you 651 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 1: to kind of reassess things. And again it I hate 652 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,320 Speaker 1: to use the word, but in your brand, like that's 653 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 1: had a big change too, because again on Chelsea lately 654 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: was basically making fun of brading people all the time, 655 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 1: and you've really dialed that down. Yeah. I mean I 656 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 1: don't even like to do it in my personal life 657 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 1: even now. And some of my friends are you know 658 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 1: that that annoys them. It's like, oh, really, now you're 659 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 1: not going to do that. It's like, well, is that 660 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 1: really how we have to like talk make fun of 661 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 1: every single person? I don't like that anymore. And I'm 662 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 1: you know, I mean not in a way that obviously 663 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 1: if somebody, you know, I can get down with people, 664 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:10,280 Speaker 1: but it's just it's just negative, negative, negative, negative, complaining, complaining, 665 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 1: even if you're complaining about somebody else, you're complaining. And 666 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 1: do you feel like your fans response to that are 667 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 1: people like when you're on social media and you see 668 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,200 Speaker 1: that that people have been receptive, because I know, right 669 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: when you left Netflix and decided to take the time 670 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 1: off to help people get elected, there were conversations like, 671 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: you're going to lose your base. The people who love 672 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 1: you for being kind of a bit they're not going 673 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 1: to like this new you. Yeah, I mean, I don't 674 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 1: really care about the fans that I've lost. If you like, 675 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,080 Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't matter, because you're going to have 676 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 1: different fans or new fans, or those people are going 677 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,360 Speaker 1: to grow up with you, which is the case with 678 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 1: a lot of my fans are like, wow, this is 679 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,760 Speaker 1: so much better than I used to love you. But 680 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,280 Speaker 1: now this is great, Like you're teaching me about therapy, 681 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 1: about meditation or whatever it is. And you know, I 682 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 1: think anybody who really is a true fan is going 683 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 1: to be around no matter what, because I'm always talking 684 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 1: about what's happening in my world, and I'm being authentic 685 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,080 Speaker 1: about it. I'm never faking it. I'm never making up 686 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:06,000 Speaker 1: a persona that's not true, and I'm always sharing information 687 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,480 Speaker 1: about what's working for me in life, so those people 688 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 1: know that they can rely on me for the truth, 689 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: which is you know why I feel so passionately about 690 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: sharing my stories because that's, I guess you know, ultimately 691 00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,680 Speaker 1: what I am as a storyteller. And once I accepted that, 692 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 1: it was like so much easier to get back into 693 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 1: stand up. But also the quality of work, I would say, 694 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,800 Speaker 1: is different because you've made that change. And so the 695 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,960 Speaker 1: people who were saying that, you know, people might not 696 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,680 Speaker 1: be as interested if you're not making the jokes about somebody. 697 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 1: There's been a huge cultural shift now to where if 698 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,560 Speaker 1: you were still doing that, it may not benefit you 699 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,719 Speaker 1: at all because now people are more thoughtful about how 700 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: you were ahead of the curve almost right, Yeah, Well, 701 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,640 Speaker 1: I've been ahead of a lot of curves luckily. Luckily 702 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 1: I know when to leave and when I went to 703 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 1: get out, when to get out of a situation, and 704 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 1: went to get into one sometimes a little bit, you know, 705 00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 1: it takes a little bit longer, or sometimes it's a 706 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,680 Speaker 1: little premature. You could argue both, but yeah, yeah, I 707 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,680 Speaker 1: like where I am, so it's not really my concern 708 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 1: if other people don't. And the people that love it great. 709 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 1: You know, Well, now you've gotten back into stand up, 710 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 1: which you said you would not do a couple of 711 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,200 Speaker 1: years ago. You're like absolutely zero interest, Like, what was 712 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: the catalyst for your desire to do it again? Was 713 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,840 Speaker 1: it the fact that it was therapeutic being in a 714 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,080 Speaker 1: room hearing people laugh at things that you thought were 715 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,520 Speaker 1: difficult to discuss. Yeah, I think I just missed. I 716 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: didn't really give enough credit to or credence to how 717 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 1: much I enjoyed being in front of a live audience. 718 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: I think because I just forgot. And it was so 719 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,479 Speaker 1: nice to see how excited people were to be on 720 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 1: that tour, and I just thought, oh, this is so nice, Like, 721 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 1: I don't have anything holding me back from extending this. 722 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,920 Speaker 1: And after I did about ten shows of interviews, I 723 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,640 Speaker 1: had enough stories from the book that I knew this 724 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: is a one woman show, this is a stand up show, 725 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 1: and and then I just realized, oh, okay, this is 726 00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 1: what I'm supposed to be doing like now I have 727 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 1: a message. Now I have a native about getting healthy 728 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,720 Speaker 1: and it's fucking funny and I can bring people through 729 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: that it's not just getting up on stage and telling jokes. 730 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,440 Speaker 1: And also I'm not ship faced. I mean, it's a 731 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,719 Speaker 1: whole different world being sober on stage when I go 732 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: out there, like i've I always took it for granted, 733 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,360 Speaker 1: and I thought alcohol was my fuel, like I needed 734 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: to drink to get through two shows or one show 735 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,280 Speaker 1: and a book signing like I needed it. And so 736 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,919 Speaker 1: now I realized, no, you don't. It's much better to 737 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,320 Speaker 1: be present and get you know, now I'm on stage 738 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,920 Speaker 1: for an hour and a half, whereas before I used 739 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: to like be waiting for like your earliest possible minute 740 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,600 Speaker 1: to get off stage. So, so how do you keep 741 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:43,080 Speaker 1: that spark going into next year? You know? Are you 742 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: are you interested in still doing stand up? And if so, 743 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:46,799 Speaker 1: how are you not going to burn yourself out again? 744 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,960 Speaker 1: And you're just gonna take more time between things? Yeah, 745 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 1: I think I'll do this tour And we just added 746 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,720 Speaker 1: these fifteen dates and I think I'll do this until 747 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,759 Speaker 1: I and then I'll shoot a special. I'm not going 748 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,799 Speaker 1: to go at a break next speed for sure, because 749 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to burn out and I want to 750 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:00,680 Speaker 1: be able to do these other projects. I want to 751 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,920 Speaker 1: shoot more documentaries, and I have some other things you 752 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,920 Speaker 1: know that I have to do. So I'm excited to 753 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,680 Speaker 1: like to do this, to shoot a special, and to 754 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,759 Speaker 1: just keep putting out, you know, things throughout the year. 755 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: It's it's easy that it feels very lucky that I 756 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 1: was able to find what I was looking for so quickly, 757 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,720 Speaker 1: you know, like fulfilling work and doing stuff that mattered 758 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,120 Speaker 1: to me as as it felt like as soon as 759 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:31,320 Speaker 1: I did the therapy and was present and focused and calm, 760 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,839 Speaker 1: things just started coming to me in a much more 761 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: easy way. Everything, so I felt much more effortless. Even 762 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 1: the stuff that was effort full felt okay, well this 763 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 1: is the right thing right now. Um. So it's just 764 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,759 Speaker 1: a level of stress that I don't have anymore. I 765 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,120 Speaker 1: would say that that was really evident with the stand up, 766 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 1: because you weren't looking to do it at all. You 767 00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,640 Speaker 1: just kind of fell back into it. Yeah. I mean 768 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,759 Speaker 1: every manager and agent was like, please do stand up, 769 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,279 Speaker 1: Please do stand up. That's your money maker, that's your 770 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,359 Speaker 1: money maker. I'm like, I'm not doing stay end up. 771 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,239 Speaker 1: There is no way I'm doing stand up, and then 772 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,440 Speaker 1: cut to twenty days later, I'm like, I think I 773 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:06,160 Speaker 1: want to do some stand up shows. But that's me 774 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,279 Speaker 1: in a nutshell. I mean, you know, I say no, no, no, 775 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,840 Speaker 1: as long as it's anybody else's idea. So that's it. 776 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,600 Speaker 1: The cool question, Brandon is when are you going to 777 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:16,160 Speaker 1: start doing stand up? Not even an option. I would 778 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,120 Speaker 1: like to give a shout out to Karen for her wedding. 779 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,799 Speaker 1: She's on her honeymoon now, bitch. As many of you 780 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:22,919 Speaker 1: know her just got married this weekend to her long 781 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:30,359 Speaker 1: time lover Mica Sligh and uh, they had a very 782 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 1: very beatific wedding in Mexico this weekend. M Is there 783 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,240 Speaker 1: anyone else we want to say goodbye to from this podcast? Brandon? 784 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:39,239 Speaker 1: Are you just want to get back to Wendy's for 785 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,319 Speaker 1: that Frosty Man? Is that you want right now? Is 786 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 1: that frost I mean? We should. We should thank Dan 787 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,200 Speaker 1: for all of his work on you and the multiple 788 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,200 Speaker 1: times he came on the pot. Yeah, we should thank Dan. 789 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 1: We should thank Sophie, thank you very much. We should 790 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,920 Speaker 1: thank our sound engineer, is it Mike Great? Well, that's 791 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:58,040 Speaker 1: who we meant and originally Sophie's our producer. I don't 792 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,480 Speaker 1: think she's been introduced, Okay, so if he's a producer, 793 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,440 Speaker 1: she's been here for every episode. And I want to 794 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,480 Speaker 1: thank all of you guys for tuning into us. And 795 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,640 Speaker 1: you can follow us well, yeah, you can follow us 796 00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:12,640 Speaker 1: on Instagram. Make sure you don't abuse it, and uh, 797 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,720 Speaker 1: you can keep up with everything I do on Twitter 798 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:17,880 Speaker 1: or my accountable page. If you're looking for ways to 799 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:22,919 Speaker 1: be socially little, socially active, I'm saying it again, social activism. 800 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,239 Speaker 1: If you're looking for ways to be social activism, go 801 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 1: there and Twitter, Facebook, Emily's List partnered with Emily's List, 802 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,919 Speaker 1: I'm still partnered with them to elect pro uh uh 803 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:43,080 Speaker 1: progressive Democratic woman. And I guess I will just say 804 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,920 Speaker 1: I hope everybody is doing a little bit better than 805 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:54,239 Speaker 1: they were when we started our podcast, audios Life will 806 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,560 Speaker 1: be the Death of Me as a production of I 807 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,279 Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit 808 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 809 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.