00:00:05 Speaker 1: When I invited you here I thought I made myself perfectly clear When you're a guest in my home You gotta come to me empty-handed. I said no gifts, your presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me? 00:00:39 Speaker 2: Guitar solo. 00:00:48 Speaker 3: Welcome to I Said No Gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're here. I only have one earbud in right now, and it doesn't make any sense for me, audio-wise. I'm going to put this other one in. I thought it would be, we're experimenting with these things, and this just feels better. I felt the weight didn't work for me, really, so now I feel a little bit cozier. What's going on? 00:01:14 Speaker 1: Hmm. 00:01:16 Speaker 3: Just trying to relax in front of the camera, let's be honest. Just trying to unwind at the end of the day. What I'm trying to think of, the most recent thing I did was I ate a chicken sandwich and I ate a chicken tender. I'd do it again. It was a wonderful... You can go ahead and have chicken as a side. I think we need to realize that chicken can also be a side. Look into it. That happened. 00:01:45 Speaker 3: What else is going on in my world? I have yet to find a tasteful pot for my home. The search continues. Don't recommend any. I'm not ordering one online. You can't order a pot online. The shipping, the chances of it breaking, it doesn't make any sense to me. Let's see if I have any business. I keep saying we're back into Little House on the Prairie, and we simply never will be. We're in a bumpy patch. We're watching about one episode every six months, but we did watch one last night, and the basic story was there was a little girl who sold all of her hair to buy her mother a dress. She cut it off, sold it. She looked awful. She looked like such a dummy, and the mom was ungrateful for the dress, so it was a It was a failure on everyone's part, but it was nice to watch. I think that's about everything going on. I smashed a spider on the wall on my way out of the house. I'll have to clean that up when I get home. Always something to look forward to. Patreon.com slash I said no gifts. Go there. Join, subscribe, sign up, do whatever you want to get into it. And then have Of course, the time of your life with endless entertainment. Let's get into the podcast. I've got all of my business. I've got all my business done. I'm getting comfortable in front of the camera. It's 7 p.m. I'm just trying. I'll say it again. I'm trying to unwind. Let me unwind for once. I love today's guest. It's Skylar Higley. Skylar, welcome to I Said No Gifts. Hi. 00:03:29 Speaker 2: Hello. 00:03:29 Speaker 3: Hello. 00:03:30 Speaker 2: Hello, thanks for having me. Don't sell your hair, everybody. Don't sell your hair. 00:03:34 Speaker 3: I feel like we've had enough stories at this point of people selling their hair to buy something. 00:03:38 Speaker 2: It's not worth it. 00:03:39 Speaker 3: It always blows up your face. 00:03:41 Speaker 2: Also, I'm going to match you. I'm going to put this in. 00:03:43 Speaker 3: Did it feel weird for you? 00:03:44 Speaker 2: Well, it didn't, but I want to match. Oh, now this is different. Yeah, it does. It changes things. Now we're actually deeply engaged. Okay, yeah, hello. 00:03:51 Speaker 3: Now it feels like VR. Yeah. It feels like I'm really immersed in the space once I get both of them in. 00:03:55 Speaker 2: We've jacked into the matrix. We're completely in. Hi, thanks for having me. 00:04:00 Speaker 3: I'm so happy to have you here. I think, well, actually, technically my mom was the first guest on this show, first Utah guest on this show on the Patreon. But on the official podcast, you're the first guest, I believe, from Utah. 00:04:15 Speaker 2: Wow. I know you're from Utah. 00:04:18 Speaker 3: I'm from Utah. 00:04:18 Speaker 1: Wow. 00:04:19 Speaker 2: Salt Lake City holding it down. 00:04:21 Speaker 1: 801, baby. 00:04:21 Speaker 2: 801. That's what we do over there. We go 801. Mormon, West Side Mormons. 00:04:28 Speaker 3: Where did you grow up in Utah? 00:04:30 Speaker 2: I was West Jordan, then Taylorsville, then Murray. 00:04:37 Speaker 3: Uh-huh. 00:04:39 Speaker 2: And then sort of Taylorsville again, kind of. Oh, no, there's a West Valley time. I don't remember. You know, kind of moved around the valley, but, you know, close to Salt Lake area the whole time. Right. 00:04:53 Speaker 3: I think we should try to make this as hyper local of an episode as possible. Alienate every person listening. 00:04:58 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:04:59 Speaker 2: Hey, you have a friend in the diamond business. Remember that? 00:05:01 Speaker 3: The Shane Company. 00:05:03 Speaker 2: Yeah, the Shane Company. 00:05:04 Speaker 3: Is that guy still alive? 00:05:05 Speaker 2: I have no idea. I haven't been back in a long time. 00:05:07 Speaker 3: Wow, yeah. John Shane, listener, was a diamond salesman. 00:05:13 Speaker 2: Diamond salesman, yeah. 00:05:13 Speaker 3: Who just kind of bore into your head every other radio commercial was this guy. 00:05:17 Speaker 2: Yeah, who would come on and go, I knew I have a friend in the diamond business. You go, okay, I guess it's Shane Company, diamonds. And you go, all right. Is that and Carl Malone Toyota is buried into my head forever. 00:05:28 Speaker 3: Carl Malone Toyota is very funny to me because on the side of the building it says Carl Malone's... Body and paint. And if you if the paint goes out of the way, it just looks like Karl Malone's body. 00:05:39 Speaker 2: You go, OK. 00:05:40 Speaker 3: Nice reminder. 00:05:40 Speaker 2: Yeah. So, you know, that's my local stuff. 00:05:43 Speaker 3: That's very good local stuff. And now I'm really wondering about John Shane. 00:05:47 Speaker 2: Well, it's like every time I'm back, if the radio comes on, they're still doing. I mean, I'm not back. that much, but they're still doing Shane company commercials. And it reminds me, I go, oh yeah, this has been a thing my entire life. Yeah. 00:05:58 Speaker 3: That's kind of eerie. 00:05:59 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:06:00 Speaker 2: And I think everywhere, everybody's local area has something like that, that it is, it is fundamental to this area. Everybody knows it. Everybody like is aware of it, but it's just like this one specific area. It tells you that you grew up there. 00:06:17 Speaker 3: Right. Just part of the lore. 00:06:18 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:06:19 Speaker 3: And yet I probably couldn't tell you a single person I know who's been to the Shane company. 00:06:24 Speaker 2: Nobody. Well, I also didn't have a lot of friends as a child that were like needing to buy diamonds. It wasn't really like, oh, God, I got to see my diamond guy. Luckily, I have a friend in the diamond business. 00:06:34 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:06:35 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't remember anybody who was like, I went to chain company. 00:06:39 Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess diamonds, as far as normal people go, aren't a thing you're buying that often. Right. Heading over to the diamond shop. 00:06:46 Speaker 2: Which is why they needed to run so many ads. They were like, as soon as one person feels like they need to buy a diamond, they know where to go. 00:06:54 Speaker 3: It was on the corner of 72nd South, I believe. I think that might be. 00:06:58 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe. 00:06:58 Speaker 3: State Street and 70. 00:07:00 Speaker 2: Well, was it maybe on the corner of State Street and Murray? Yeah. 00:07:04 Speaker 3: Oh. 00:07:05 Speaker 2: Because I remember, maybe this is not it, but I remember some commercial. The listeners love this. 00:07:09 Speaker 3: No, I love. 00:07:11 Speaker 2: I remember some commercial being like on the corner of State Street and Murray. But was that that? 00:07:15 Speaker 3: The corner? But that's not a street. 00:07:17 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. 00:07:17 Speaker 3: There's no Murray Street, is there? 00:07:19 Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe it's on the State Street in Murray. Oh, in Murray. I don't know. 00:07:24 Speaker 3: But State Street goes, again, listener, you're loving this. This goes the entire Salt Lake Valley. 00:07:30 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:07:31 Speaker 3: You can cruise that thing. 00:07:32 Speaker 2: Up and down all the way, yeah? 00:07:34 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:07:34 Speaker 2: Totally. By the way, do you remember Creamy's? 00:07:37 Speaker 3: No. 00:07:38 Speaker 2: The ice cream Creamy's? 00:07:39 Speaker 3: No, I have no idea what this is. 00:07:42 Speaker 2: There was a local creamery, I think it was in Idaho, but it was a Utah thing, and we were all eating stuff called Creamy's. 00:07:51 Speaker 3: Wait, are these like the creamsicles? 00:07:52 Speaker 2: Yes, the creamies. 00:07:54 Speaker 3: The last time I had one of those was at my grandma's house. 00:07:57 Speaker 2: Expired. 00:07:57 Speaker 3: Yeah. I was sick the rest of the day. 00:07:59 Speaker 2: They are all expired. But I just think it's funny that, you know, obviously our culture is so repressed and sort of anti-sex in any way. And we're running around licking on creamies. 00:08:12 Speaker 3: It's very Tobias Funke in that way. 00:08:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. 00:08:16 Speaker 3: Because I was just telling somebody on this podcast about Arctic Circle and they served the brown topper. 00:08:22 Speaker 2: Damn right. 00:08:23 Speaker 3: There's just a lot of things. You're like, well, let's just think a few more seconds about it. 00:08:27 Speaker 2: I remember I went to Utah State and there was a, for a year, I dropped out. but there was a rule in the, in the dorms that like, if it is somebody of the opposite gender, they're not allowed to stay overnight, which is like, okay. So all of the queer kids are just having as much sex as they want because the rules are homophobic. You're like, well, two boys, two girls, they would never get together. So stay over if you want. But if you're of the opposite gender, then no. And so like, wow, what a loophole. I know it was a great loophole for all the gay kids where they were having a lot of sex and they were like, yeah. And, Nobody can say anything about it. 00:09:04 Speaker 3: What a weird thing. That's a state school, too. How are they? 00:09:07 Speaker 2: Well, you, I mean, you know as well as I do. 00:09:10 Speaker 3: I know the answer to this question. 00:09:11 Speaker 2: The separation between church and state in Utah is paper thin. 00:09:14 Speaker 3: It's a fascinating thing to just see a religion in control of a government. 00:09:19 Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, it's like it's the America is like. Or the only functioning theocracy in America, really. It's really cool. 00:09:26 Speaker 3: Fascinating. 00:09:26 Speaker 2: I think it works for everybody. Yeah, everybody likes it. Everybody likes it. 00:09:31 Speaker 3: I can't see any harm in religion kind of just. 00:09:33 Speaker 2: Getting all over. Oh, yeah. If you're a woman, you have to wear sleeves when you're at our local malls. No problem. 00:09:39 Speaker 3: Okay, that's not true. That's misinformation. 00:09:43 Speaker 2: Wait, there was a thing, though, that my friend, you know the, what is it? Was it City Mall or something? There's one that the big open one. 00:09:50 Speaker 3: City Creek. 00:09:51 Speaker 2: City Creek. 00:09:52 Speaker 3: Yes. This is the Mormon Church's mall. 00:09:54 Speaker 2: The Mormon Church's mall. So these are not public. 00:09:56 Speaker 3: Every religion has to have one. 00:09:57 Speaker 2: Every religion. If your religion don't got a mall, pfft. y'all falling behind. Mormons, we got malls. What y'all doing, rest of the religions? Don't see any Buddhist malls. That would be kind of, that would be a paradox of the religion. 00:10:09 Speaker 3: This is the one problem with the Catholic Church. 00:10:12 Speaker 1: No malls. 00:10:12 Speaker 2: They don't have a mall. My one big issue with them is there's not a big shock beam center. They could have a Mall of America situation going on. But, My friend went there and was wearing a tank top and she was asked to leave. You're kidding. Yeah. 00:10:25 Speaker 3: That's crazy. 00:10:26 Speaker 2: Yeah, they legitimately do that. And, you know, showing tattoos, which is a desecration of the body that is the temple of God, you know. 00:10:35 Speaker 3: I'm going to go to that mall on a very low cut top. Kind of just mesh. 00:10:40 Speaker 2: What are you going to do? What are you guys going to do about it? 00:10:42 Speaker 3: But recently they've Mormons can now wear sleeveless shirts everywhere. 00:10:47 Speaker 2: Oh, that's recent? 00:10:47 Speaker 1: This is new. 00:10:48 Speaker 2: I'm not keeping up with the news. 00:10:49 Speaker 3: Well, that's why you're here today. 00:10:50 Speaker 2: I've got a whole list of things. 00:10:51 Speaker 3: Oh, thank God. 00:10:52 Speaker 2: Yeah, let me know. Okay, wow. Sleeveless shirts. 00:10:55 Speaker 3: Sleeveless shirts is a new thing. And so the billboards in Utah are the worst billboards in the world. Yeah. And right now they're for something called Minky Couture blankets. Every fourth billboard is for this type of blanket. 00:11:07 Speaker 2: Minky Couture blankets. 00:11:08 Speaker 3: Then there's another blanket competitor. And now there's a new billboard for tank tops. 00:11:13 Speaker 2: Oh, wow, everybody. This is, if you don't understand as a listener, like where we grew up, this is what we're dealing with, is that the tank tops were foreboded in our culture. And they just, in big 2026, were like, you know what, guys? We're going to throw you a bone. You can wear tank tops now. Yeah, you're welcome. 00:11:36 Speaker 3: Technology's moving very fast. Yeah. It's very fast. 00:11:38 Speaker 2: Yeah, now you can see shoulder. Whoa. 00:11:42 Speaker 3: I mean, a lot of these rules kind of really work for someone who's just totally ashamed of his body. Yeah. It worked in my favor for a while. 00:11:47 Speaker 1: Totally. 00:11:48 Speaker 2: Because you're like, I'm not trying to show that stuff anyway. 00:11:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't want people seeing my arms. No, absolutely. Not putting a tank top on. But, wow, it's really interesting. It's always, I do think, It's deeply alienating to other people when two Utahns are talking because the vocabulary is very different. 00:12:06 Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I guess so. But it is, and it's also a bunch of specific stuff. Yeah. But the reason why I do this when I run into another Utah person is I don't remember, like the Shane Company thing, I would not have been able to think about. That's amazing. If you weren't in proximity to me, then I'm like, Shane Company. What's a specific niche reference? Yeah. By myself, I can't come up with stuff like that. 00:12:30 Speaker 3: That really, yeah, I hadn't heard that thing in a while. I never listened to it. Also, my deep apologies to Utah Radio, but it's pretty awful. 00:12:38 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:12:39 Speaker 3: So I don't listen to a lot of radio when I'm back home, unfortunately. But I'm missing out on the Shane Company commercials. 00:12:46 Speaker 2: But now you have L.A. and you have Top Dog Law, and that's incredible. These Top Dog Law commercials, the most high production commercials I've ever heard. What L.A. 00:12:55 Speaker 3: Radio stations are you listening to? 00:12:56 Speaker 2: I don't know. No clue. It's just whatever is on sometimes. And I go, oh, OK. And then there will be a really long just if you don't if you haven't ever heard these commercials, it'll be some crazy soundscape. Cars, just like police cars. And then suddenly someone is screaming, Top Dog Law! And it's crazy. They try so hard on these commercials. It's the most incredible thing I've ever heard in my life. They're doing like War of the Worlds level audio dramas for these Top Dog Law commercials. 00:13:35 Speaker 3: It's crazy. I think you can do things like that in L.A. because there are so many people who want to be doing that type of job. And you're like, well, I guess I'll do it for an ambulance chaser. 00:13:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely. 00:13:44 Speaker 3: I get to be a foley artist for a scammy lawyer. 00:13:47 Speaker 2: Yeah, why not? I like to believe that top dog law is not going to scam you. That's what I'll say. 00:13:54 Speaker 3: Legally, we should say they are not a scam. Top dog law is probably the best legal team you can find. 00:13:59 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 00:14:00 Speaker 3: You're looking to. 00:14:02 Speaker 2: I'm not about to cross top dog law. 00:14:04 Speaker 1: No, no, no. 00:14:05 Speaker 3: Honestly. 00:14:05 Speaker 2: You hear those commercials, imagine what they can do to you for real. 00:14:09 Speaker 3: And if I were to be hit while riding on my bike, I'd probably turn to top dog law first. 00:14:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. 00:14:13 Speaker 3: Let's be honest. 00:14:14 Speaker 2: 100%. 00:14:15 Speaker 3: When I'm looking for serious legal advice, the words that come to mind are top dog law. 00:14:19 Speaker 2: I mean, anybody who's the top dog of anything, I think, yeah, I'm going to listen to them. 00:14:23 Speaker 3: It just makes sense to me. 00:14:24 Speaker 2: It just makes sense. He's top dog. 00:14:27 Speaker 3: So I guess they don't have just one lawyer. I guess we've kind of moved past just having one ambulance-chasing lawyer, where it used to be, like, the one guy. Right. Now it's a whole team of people with, like, a name, like, top dogs. 00:14:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean, I think it is that thing of, like, well, once, you know, because there's, of course, now we're going L.A. local stuff. There's Sweet James. 00:14:46 Speaker 3: Sweet James Norman. 00:14:48 Speaker 2: Now, I'm... Was he? 00:14:49 Speaker 3: I found this out through Real Housewives of Orange County. 00:14:52 Speaker 2: Oh! 00:14:53 Speaker 3: The lately learned thing. 00:14:54 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:14:55 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:14:56 Speaker 2: Sweet, that, I guess that makes a lot of sense. I guess that makes a lot of sense. What was the modern thing, like be sweet and something? 00:15:04 Speaker 3: Oh, keep sweet and... Carry on? 00:15:07 Speaker 2: You're thinking of a different thing. There's like a be sweet and multiply or something. No, that's be fruitful. That's different. There's something that they say to young women that they say be sweet and like whatever. 00:15:16 Speaker 1: Oh. 00:15:17 Speaker 2: Remember, you know how with the young women they go be sweet and shut up. Don't talk if you're a woman. You know. 00:15:21 Speaker 3: I think that's exactly what it was. 00:15:22 Speaker 2: It's kind of that. Anyway, sweet James Mormon. Interesting. I've got to. Well, let's figure that out. 00:15:28 Speaker 3: I'm now Googling that. Just like the moment I say anything that seems like a fact, I say. 00:15:34 Speaker 2: Go ahead and double check. 00:15:35 Speaker 3: Was it keep sweet, pray and obey? Boom. 00:15:38 Speaker 2: Keep sweet, pray and obey. 00:15:39 Speaker 3: Don't love to hear that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, ex-Mormon. 00:15:43 Speaker 2: Ex-Mormon. Okay, Sweet James got a little sour. 00:15:45 Speaker 3: Yeah, he got a little taste of fame. 00:15:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, I get that. Okay, but with those, I'm like, Sweet James, that can't just be Sweet James. He's working with a bunch of people. 00:15:56 Speaker 3: Right, he's exploiting a bunch of lawyers. And again, legally he's not, but there's a chance he's exploiting a. 00:16:01 Speaker 2: Bunch of lawyers. How pissed off would you be if you went to Sweet James and they go, oh, we're putting Kevin on your case. And you go, I came for Sweet James. 00:16:07 Speaker 3: Yes. If I don't get the guy on the billboard, what am I bothering for? 00:16:11 Speaker 2: What taste is Kevin? I don't even know. You just gave me Kevin. I came for Sweet James. What the fuck? What the fuck? I want Sweet James. Now I just have no taste, Kevin. I'm going to lose. 00:16:23 Speaker 3: Who's the lady with the insurance and the. 00:16:27 Speaker 3: German veronica veronica's insurance yeah. 00:16:31 Speaker 2: Wait did you hear about i think it's veronica and like adriana or something and they're like sisters and they had beefing insurance companies right what there's something like that where they in they but they had because they i saw one that was like a billboard style that was like i think it's veronica and it's styled like veronica and then like i was driving a little further and then there's a billboard of the exact same style same composition and then it was like adriana and i was like What the fuck is going on? And there are these two competing sister, I think it's insurance companies. 00:17:05 Speaker 3: Yeah, insurance. 00:17:06 Speaker 2: They might be lawyer, whatever. But they had a thing where they had beef and they had a falling out and then they were competitors. And then they did that thing where. They are pretending to be competitors, but I think ultimately a part of the same thing. But they market separately. They market as if they're competitors, but they have the same style of whatever. Right. 00:17:27 Speaker 3: You call one and they give you a quote and then drive you to the other one. 00:17:31 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:17:32 Speaker 3: And then they have a slightly lower quote, which they have. And again, legally, we don't know. 00:17:35 Speaker 2: We don't know. I don't know anything about the law. 00:17:38 Speaker 3: If I was in a huge fight with my sister and we both ran insurance companies, hypothetically, we would create a scam. 00:17:44 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's something like that. Those details might be wrong, but everybody who's listening probably has Google and they can look it up. 00:17:51 Speaker 3: That is crazy. 00:17:53 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:17:53 Speaker 3: Wow, it's something out of a beautiful fairy tale. Veronica and Adriana. 00:17:59 Speaker 2: Yeah, so anyway, that's Billboard Talk for y'all. 00:18:03 Speaker 3: This is my new podcast, just billboards I've noticed. 00:18:07 Speaker 2: What's going on with the billboards, locally or otherwise? Everybody, leave a comment. What's going on with your local situation? 00:18:14 Speaker 3: Who's your local billboard person? 00:18:16 Speaker 2: Freak. I think you actually might get a lot of interesting things when it comes to that. 00:18:20 Speaker 1: I do. 00:18:20 Speaker 3: I want to see people post pictures of your local billboards. freak on a billboard or worst billboard. I want to see these and tag us because this is something that haunts all of us. 00:18:30 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's ubiquitous. I really love things that are ubiquitous yet unique where it's like everybody experiences this, but everybody experiences a different version of it. It's not like we all have the exact same reference points, but everybody has local jingle, local billboard, local... freak of some kind, some local legend or some weird lore that like it happens everywhere, but no two places are the same. 00:18:59 Speaker 3: No, they've got just like the dials slightly turned. 00:19:03 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:19:04 Speaker 3: But you and I have a dial right at the Shane Company. 00:19:08 Speaker 2: Absolutely. It's incredible. Absolutely. 00:19:10 Speaker 3: Well, there's something else that we're not quite in tune with each other on. And so I think we should just turn to that now. The podcast is called I Said No Gifts. 00:19:17 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:19:18 Speaker 3: I was looking forward to having you here. 00:19:19 Speaker 2: Yeah. And I unfortunately did bring a gift. 00:19:23 Speaker 3: And you did bring a gorgeous gift. 00:19:25 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:19:26 Speaker 3: Should we open it here on the show? 00:19:27 Speaker 2: I think we should. You know what? Not only do I think we should, I demand we do. Okay. 00:19:31 Speaker 1: Wow. Interesting. 00:19:32 Speaker 3: Defiant. 00:19:33 Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm sort of, I'm demanding, you know, I grew up, you know, Mormon and I think that I have to be very domineering and controlling in every situation. 00:19:43 Speaker 3: And I need to keep sweet and the other two things. 00:19:45 Speaker 2: And pray and obey. Yes. 00:19:48 Speaker 3: Terrible. Let's get into this. It's in this kind of beautiful black bag. 00:19:55 Speaker 1: Beautiful. 00:19:55 Speaker 2: It's sort of the best gift wrapping there's ever been. Very nice. 00:19:59 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:20:01 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:20:02 Speaker 2: More gift wrapping. Newspaper courtesy of Vinnie Thomas. Everybody, Vinnie Thomas fans in the chat. 00:20:08 Speaker 3: Thank you. always providing. 00:20:11 Speaker 2: He just lives on a pile of newspaper. So I had to, you know, I had to go, Vinny, you gotta get yourself a home. 00:20:19 Speaker 3: Weekly circulars. 00:20:20 Speaker 1: Okay. 00:20:20 Speaker 3: Oh, okay. Now we're getting to it here. Oh, this is incredible and great for a podcast. 00:20:27 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:20:28 Speaker 3: They're mini rawhide maracas. 00:20:30 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:20:30 Speaker 3: And brand new, by the way. Very nice. 00:20:32 Speaker 2: Brand new. 00:20:33 Speaker 3: This isn't something you found in your sock drawer. 00:20:34 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no. This was something that I went out and got specifically for you. 00:20:40 Speaker 3: Why did you bring these? I'm going to start opening this. 00:20:41 Speaker 2: Well, because A, it's podcast audio medium. I thought it would be fun. I thought it would be a little... It's party vibes. Totally. You know? 00:20:51 Speaker 1: And then. 00:20:52 Speaker 2: And also... You know, you just, you just, I feel like you need to, as one great woman once said, shake it off. And I feel like we came from a place that was very sort of anti-party in a lot of ways. 00:21:06 Speaker 1: Sure. 00:21:06 Speaker 2: And I thought that, you know, using the maracas might be a fun way to just sort of shake off the pain of where we came from. But also sort of a kind of a West Coast or more Western feeling kind of thing, you know, are sort of. 00:21:23 Speaker 3: Should I start? 00:21:24 Speaker 2: I think whenever you want. 00:21:25 Speaker 3: I can't remember the last time I did a maraca. 00:21:28 Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, yeah. 00:21:29 Speaker 3: How do you do, like, maraca, like, if you're a professional? 00:21:33 Speaker 2: I was just thinking about this. Like, who is the best maraca-er? 00:21:37 Speaker 3: There's got to be one. 00:21:39 Speaker 2: Are there any specifically maraca players? 00:21:43 Speaker 1: Right. 00:21:44 Speaker 2: I don't know. 00:21:45 Speaker 3: I feel like if. I feel like you can't specialize in the maraca. 00:21:50 Speaker 2: It's like part of your toolkit. Part of the percussion of, yeah, that's true. It's like if somebody was like, oh, I'm a kick drum guy. You'd be like, what? That doesn't make sense. That's one of the drums. 00:21:59 Speaker 3: What happened to you? 00:22:00 Speaker 2: You don't get to do just kick drum. 00:22:02 Speaker 3: Right. Although, I mean, I'm not discouraging anybody. If you just want to play a single piece of percussion, go for it. 00:22:08 Speaker 2: If you want just one part of it, then that would be cool. I tap my foot. 00:22:13 Speaker 3: I mean, you can do a decent dance beat. 00:22:15 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:22:16 Speaker 3: That's kind of all you need. 00:22:17 Speaker 2: You could. So maybe we're wrong. Clearly, look, I'm not an expert in many things. In fact, almost nothing. Not the law, not music, not percussion. So I can't tell anybody what to do. 00:22:30 Speaker 3: Do you play any instruments? I'm just going to do this throughout the episode. 00:22:34 Speaker 1: Yes. 00:22:34 Speaker 2: Well, I think this is a good ambience. I play a little bit of guitar, a little bit of piano. Not that good at either, but guitar, I can do a couple of the chords. You know? 00:22:46 Speaker 3: Sure. 00:22:46 Speaker 2: Can you play any songs? Not anymore. I used to be able to. 00:22:50 Speaker 3: Which songs? 00:22:52 Speaker 2: I used to be pretty good at, well, but it's literally just like a four chord progression. I remember learning like some Kid Cudi songs in middle school. Yeah. That's like, no, not a song you would think at all for the guitar. And then like, what did I have? I had bits and pieces of things where I was like, I played a little tiny bit of Green Day stuff and a little tiny bit of like Panic at the Disco or whatever. I used to be able to know how to do that for a little bit. 00:23:25 Speaker 3: Did you teach yourself? 00:23:27 Speaker 2: I had guitar classes for a little bit and then a little bit of self-teaching and then just kind of nothing. 00:23:31 Speaker 3: Right. 00:23:32 Speaker 2: And I really feel like if I had the time now, because I recently tried to start kind of playing around with piano again. And it is something that I simply just don't have a lot of time for and not a lot of I don't have the effort and energy that I once would have had to like develop new skills. 00:23:51 Speaker 3: It's like, well, it becomes much harder to develop. 00:23:55 Speaker 2: It becomes way harder. And well, and they say it's because like. your child brain is so much better at like getting a new skill or whatever. And I don't believe that at all. I believe it's just simply because you don't have to pay any bills and you don't have to worry about that stuff. Whereas now you try to pick up the piano or something and they're teaching you like, okay, like here's what a jazz scale is. And you start to go, oh, okay. So here's the jazz scale. You know, you got a G. You got to pay some student loans. And you're like, oh, shit, no, no, no, no. 00:24:32 Speaker 3: Wait, wait, wait, wait. 00:24:33 Speaker 2: I just think that you have less brain space for starting to play stuff. 00:24:37 Speaker 1: Right. 00:24:37 Speaker 3: Yeah, you make a good point because if it were true about the childhood thing, it didn't work for me. 00:24:42 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:24:44 Speaker 3: I'm proof that I have zero skills. 00:24:47 Speaker 2: Yeah. I just think that it would be– I just think it's easier because you have the time. I mean– In reality, it's probably a combination of both or whatever. Don't get mad at me, internet. But I really think they are undervaluing the skills acquisition period is like because there's nothing else going on. I mean, even language acquisition, right? They say there's. a certain time when young kids and babies are better at language acquisition in your brain. But it's also like, the fuck else are you going to do? The fuck else you got going on? 00:25:17 Speaker 3: You don't have a job. 00:25:19 Speaker 2: Aside from learning the language, the things that everybody's saying around you, the fuck else are you going to do? 00:25:24 Speaker 3: I would hope you did figure something out. 00:25:25 Speaker 2: If I had almost no motor skills, I had nothing else to do in my entire life. Yeah, I'm learning a lot of languages. But unfortunately, I have a whole bunch of situations. I got to... I've got to call my parents. I have to maintain social friendships. I have to maintain my bills. I have jobs and stuff. You know what I mean? I think that they're getting off too easy is what I'm saying about the kids. 00:25:47 Speaker 3: And I don't have a parent hanging around to get mad at me for not doing it. Exactly. 00:25:49 Speaker 2: Exactly. 00:25:51 Speaker 3: I would pay for that. 00:25:52 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:25:52 Speaker 3: I guess that's what like a personal trainer is. 00:25:54 Speaker 2: That is sort of what a personal trainer is. Are you into any of these like life coach stuff? No, but I feel like it doesn't work for anybody. 00:26:01 Speaker 3: Every five years, like you'll hit some low and you start thinking, I wonder if it's time to look into some sort of advice and then fortunately move past it before I get trapped. 00:26:12 Speaker 2: I'm sort of in that, I'm sort of in a period of feeling like I want a lot of, I walk around, and I think this maybe goes into the Mormon aspect, or maybe it doesn't, but right now, I have a lot of the feelings of like, I need something, but I don't know what it is. What do I need? 00:26:28 Speaker 1: Right. 00:26:28 Speaker 2: I'm doing a lot of, what do I need? Something, I want something. I have to fix something and I need something, but I'm not sure what it is I really need. Right. You know? 00:26:41 Speaker 3: Let's go over a list. Let's find the hole in your life. 00:26:44 Speaker 2: No, but it's not even an actual, I don't think I could identify it in a way. I think it's a little bit deeper as far as like a- Yeah, it's like a disposition thing where I go, I am consumed by desire. 00:26:57 Speaker 3: Right. 00:26:58 Speaker 2: And yet I'm also like, but how am I going to find happiness? I just think that there is. 00:27:05 Speaker 3: And it is possible you can find permanent happiness. That's a promise I can make. OK, see, I just have to try hard enough. 00:27:11 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:27:11 Speaker 2: OK, see, I knew it. I absolutely knew it. Yeah. Maybe it's I have to develop a new version of spirituality. Maybe I should. Maybe I should get a podcast where I make people bring me gifts. I bet getting stuff is making you happy. 00:27:23 Speaker 3: Bring you religious ideas. Try to convert you to their religion. 00:27:26 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just come in and I go, hey, pitch me, guys. Pitch me. I'm open. I'm listening. 00:27:32 Speaker 3: That podcast could end at any time. Right. 00:27:35 Speaker 2: It's the first one. I go, this one. 00:27:36 Speaker 3: I love it. 00:27:37 Speaker 2: I'm Jehovah's Witness now. Let's go. 00:27:38 Speaker 3: I get a lot of Jehovah's Witnesses at my door. 00:27:43 Speaker 2: Really? 00:27:43 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:27:44 Speaker 2: Oh, that's weird. 00:27:45 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a... I hate getting anybody at my door, so I'm just in a bad mood immediately. 00:27:49 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:27:50 Speaker 2: Well, and also, you know, being from the religion that we were in, it's like, well, people coming to the door, you're like, I know what the game is. 00:27:57 Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely. 00:27:58 Speaker 2: I already know what this is all about. I don't need you to knock on the door and tell me about your version of whatever Jesus is. I know. First of all, you're coming with no gifts aside from a pamphlet. 00:28:11 Speaker 3: You like their art. Jehovah's Witnesses have great art. 00:28:15 Speaker 2: In what way? 00:28:16 Speaker 3: Just it looks insane. 00:28:17 Speaker 2: Oh, okay. I thought you meant like prints and stuff. 00:28:20 Speaker 3: No, like all of their pamphlets have like really almost disturbing images on them. Like in 2012, I had a Facebook group for Jehovah's Witnesses art and they shut it down because of copyright reasons. But I really loved the art. It's their fault. 00:28:35 Speaker 2: Okay, I got to look into this because I do feel like certain religious sections of whoever– They do sometimes tend to have really interesting art where you're like, OK, you're all following the same style. And it's also so crazy sometimes. It's really cool what people are able to do with like, well, we're all doing Jehovah's Witness style. 00:29:02 Speaker 3: But I do also when they come to the door, there is a little bit of me that feels for them, too. 00:29:06 Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. 00:29:06 Speaker 3: So it's a kind of a trap for me. 00:29:08 Speaker 2: Well, do you? Because I know that they sometimes, at least in my friends who were Jehovah's Witnesses, they sometimes have children go to doors with their parents and stuff. But are these are these because, you know, I'm thinking Mormon. I'm like, they're not like young men or women. 00:29:24 Speaker 3: These are like people in their 50s and 60s. Yeah. 00:29:26 Speaker 2: So they're like old. Well, that's the that's the thing with them is why I feel really bad where it's like, oh, you did not have to be tricked into this. You chose to do it. You want to do this. And that sucks. That sucks! Why are you doing that? You could be doing anything else. Have you ever heard of a PS5? Have you heard of it? If you heard of a PS5, you would not be wanting to go door to door. 00:29:48 Speaker 3: You could be playing Resident Evil right now. 00:29:50 Speaker 2: You could be... Listen, you could witness a lot of stuff on Resident Evil. Jeez. They're like, and especially, look, you guys don't have holidays. You're going to want to game. 00:30:00 Speaker 3: You've got to find something to do. 00:30:02 Speaker 2: You've got to want to. What do you guys do instead? What is your, what is your, what are your hobbies? I don't know. If there are Jehovah's Witnesses listening, no offense. 00:30:10 Speaker 3: We love you. 00:30:11 Speaker 2: But stay away from my door and also find stuff to do, hopefully. 00:30:16 Speaker 3: That breaks my heart, the idea of taking your kids door to door, yet they don't get to go trick-or-treating. fuck that's a tough pill to swallow oh my god not nice oh. 00:30:29 Speaker 2: My god i've never thought about. 00:30:31 Speaker 3: That before i don't like to think about that. 00:30:34 Speaker 2: They're so close they could be going around on the day of halloween and they go oh you want candy and they go no no no actually we're not participating in that we have something to pitch you literature you came out on the worst day You came on the worst day. You're not supposed to come out on Halloween. That's devastating. That is devastating. I've never thought about that before. That's maybe the saddest thought. 00:30:58 Speaker 3: I've ever thought about. Yeah, that's really tough. Do you want to play the maracas? 00:31:03 Speaker 2: I absolutely do. 00:31:04 Speaker 3: I'd like to see you give these a shot here. 00:31:06 Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hear that, listener? That is genuine leather. That is a cow died for these maracas to happen. And I think the balls inside are metal, so some of the earth died as well. Or maybe they're seeds. I don't know. 00:31:23 Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe it's like pumpkin seeds or something. 00:31:26 Speaker 2: I actually don't know if they're real. They're probably faux leather. 00:31:28 Speaker 3: Let's see. These are mini rawhide maracas. 00:31:30 Speaker 2: Oh, rawhide. 00:31:31 Speaker 3: Natural rawhide shells. 00:31:32 Speaker 2: Natural rawhide, you guys. Crime was committed against an animal for this. 00:31:36 Speaker 3: They're great for light studio work. 00:31:38 Speaker 2: Imagine you're a cow. Imagine you're a cow. You eat grass all day long. All you ever do is eat grass and shit and you just do cow stuff. And then one day, somebody comes up, they put a bolt in your brain, as they do, and you are in this cosmology. Cows have souls and they don't immediately go to heaven. They see what happens to their body. You see what happens to your body and, you know, a lot of it's taken for beef and they're– sending it to Wendy's and Carl's Jr. and all our favorite places, but they go, what are they going to do with my skin? What's going on with my skin? Some of it is going inside of Alexis for the seats, and some of it is getting wrapped around these little things, and there's this funny man playing pieces of my skin on the I Said No Gifts podcast, and the cow has finally seen the end of its journey and now gets to go to cow heaven. 00:32:31 Speaker 3: It's kind of a... If I'm going to get a bolt shot through my head, ending up as an instrument's not the. 00:32:38 Speaker 2: Worst case scenario. 00:32:38 Speaker 3: I mean, that's cool. 00:32:39 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? You could just be shoes. This, if you're a cow and you died, you're like, okay, well, at least it's... We're having some fun. At least we're having fun. Oh, no, I hit the mic. 00:32:49 Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of how, do you, like, do this? 00:32:51 Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah. 00:32:53 Speaker 3: I don't consider myself a natural type for a maraca play. 00:32:56 Speaker 2: No, I get it. I get it. No, you're not giving bachata or whatever. You're not giving super maraca. But that's what I'm saying is this is why it's for you. 00:33:05 Speaker 3: You could unlock something. 00:33:06 Speaker 1: Yes. 00:33:07 Speaker 2: I mean, like, this could be the next era of your life. You could be at parties. Oh, what's up? Hey, I'm Bridger. And they're like, what's going on there? You go, I don't know. I just like maracas. What, do you not like maracas? 00:33:21 Speaker 3: Imagine getting blacklisted because you bring maracas to parties. 00:33:25 Speaker 2: Yeah, he won't stop bringing maracas to parties. He gets blacked out and then he shakes them really hard. He won't stop maracking. And we say, Bridger, please stop. And he goes, no, no, it's a part of me. A cow died for this. 00:33:38 Speaker 3: I'm going to bring these to my bag from now on. It's a little fun thing. It is fun. Why not? It's kind of addictive. 00:33:44 Speaker 2: Well, it's also like I think you could make like a really good– I think these can underscore something that you said really well. Like say it like a really good like hot take point. 00:33:53 Speaker 3: Oh, let's see here. Oh, this is something I've been talking about recently. You should not have to pay for sauce. There we go. 00:34:05 Speaker 2: Isn't that awesome? 00:34:06 Speaker 3: That's great. 00:34:07 Speaker 2: Wait, do another one. Do another one. We'll give them three. 00:34:09 Speaker 3: Let's see here. Wow, I'm so slow tonight. Let me think for one second. I want a really good one. 00:34:17 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:34:19 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm coming up on one here. 00:34:24 Speaker 2: This is just thinking Maraca. 00:34:27 Speaker 3: When I smile at your dog, you should smile at me. I mean, this is awesome. 00:34:33 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:34:33 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 00:34:35 Speaker 3: Morocco takes. 00:34:35 Speaker 2: Okay. Morocco takes. Oh, my God. Cut the cameras. Cut the cameras. Cut the cameras. Oh, well, you know, speaking of Morocco takes, here we go. If you don't ride the subway in real life, you should not be allowed to be on subway takes. Wow. 00:34:56 Speaker 3: That's a solid one because they got a lot of people now. Who are taking, you know, private cars. 00:35:01 Speaker 1: Right. 00:35:02 Speaker 2: They're taking private cars to the meetup to shoot, to ride for one thing. And then they go, ugh, ugh, let me get away from all these poor people. 00:35:09 Speaker 3: To say a take that their assistant came up with. Right. 00:35:11 Speaker 2: Yeah. They had to take pitches and they had to order somebody else. I don't... What, do you think I think about stuff? Do you think Jennifer Lopez thinks about things? 00:35:19 Speaker 1: No. 00:35:20 Speaker 3: No. 00:35:21 Speaker 2: She... Some... Oh, give me a take that makes me seem relatable to people. Okay, sure. Yeah. Kareem, I love you, but you gotta stop letting these people on. They're too, they just don't take the subway. It's just not fair. 00:35:32 Speaker 3: Was J-Lo on? 00:35:33 Speaker 2: Yes. Wow. 00:35:34 Speaker 3: What was her take? 00:35:35 Speaker 2: I don't remember. It was something like, oh, there's a good way to make mac and cheese or whatever. It was something stupid. And it was just like, I don't need this from you. Or at least like, say like. 00:35:46 Speaker 3: Do a crazy rich person's take. 00:35:48 Speaker 2: Do a real one that you think... Do a J-Lo thing that only J-Lo could say. 00:35:52 Speaker 3: The middle class should be killed. 00:35:53 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:35:54 Speaker 3: There we go. 00:35:55 Speaker 2: You go, oh my God, that's what you think? All right. Well, at least you were honest. 00:35:58 Speaker 3: It's a take. 00:35:59 Speaker 2: At least it's a take. Or just, or something about... another musician of your caliber or some, the music industry, they don't, these celebrities, they want to risk nothing. Not me. Not me. I came out, I've been bearing it all to you people. 00:36:14 Speaker 3: I got nothing to lose. 00:36:16 Speaker 2: I have nothing to lose. 00:36:16 Speaker 1: Who cares? 00:36:17 Speaker 3: I'm still on the subway. 00:36:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, I take the subway. That's what it's about. 00:36:22 Speaker 3: Well, this is wonderful. What a tool you've provided me. 00:36:25 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is going to be a gift that keeps on giving in. 00:36:28 Speaker 3: A lot of ways. 00:36:30 Speaker 2: What are the gifts that people usually bring? Are they functional? What do they do? 00:36:33 Speaker 3: Almost completely non-functional items. Largely, as you can see around us, largely decorative. 00:36:39 Speaker 2: Oh, so the Joseph Smith was, this is a gift. 00:36:43 Speaker 3: Skyler is referring to the picture that kind of looks like me from Michael Urie. Yes. 00:36:48 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:36:48 Speaker 2: Okay. But here's the thing. Without the glasses, you cover the chin. I'm not going to move too much. Yeah. 00:36:54 Speaker 3: It's Mary Joseph Smith. Okay. Interesting. 00:36:56 Speaker 2: It's a beautiful situation you have going on. 00:36:58 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:36:58 Speaker 3: A lot of non-functional things. 00:37:00 Speaker 2: The warrior cats. Okay. 00:37:02 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:37:02 Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of anything. 00:37:04 Speaker 2: This says Joel Kim Booster on it. 00:37:05 Speaker 3: Wait. 00:37:06 Speaker 1: Hold on. Oh, yeah. 00:37:06 Speaker 3: Joel brought that. Now that's my award for best comedy podcast or whatever. 00:37:11 Speaker 2: The asian american podcasters yes. 00:37:14 Speaker 3: I put in the work wow that's beautiful okay wow that's that's incredible yes it was about time wow um so i'm winning awards i'm doing it all on this podcast incredible work that's being done here but i think this is the first instrument wow okay people instruments are good gifts they're genuinely you give you want to give somebody something fun Get them an instrument, something they can do something with. Right. Somebody bring me a bass guitar. Put that out into the world. 00:37:42 Speaker 2: Did you just learn the bass? 00:37:46 Speaker 3: I'm going to. 00:37:46 Speaker 2: That would be great. 00:37:47 Speaker 3: If a guest brings me a bass guitar, I will learn the bass. 00:37:50 Speaker 2: If there was something that you could learn right now that you want to learn, what would the new skill be? 00:37:58 Speaker 3: I would love to learn to play the guitar. But it requires so much dedication. It really requires nonstop because your fingers basically have to turn into different types of fingers. 00:38:07 Speaker 2: You've got to change your fingers for sure. 00:38:08 Speaker 3: I just don't have time to change my fingers. 00:38:10 Speaker 1: Right. 00:38:11 Speaker 2: I'm using them for a lot of other stuff. 00:38:12 Speaker 3: I can't be doing that now. 00:38:13 Speaker 1: Right. 00:38:13 Speaker 3: I'm pushing buttons. 00:38:15 Speaker 2: Yeah. It's something that's just a different moment. Why guitar? What songs would you play? 00:38:20 Speaker 3: That's a great question. There are a lot of songs. I listen to a lot of guitar-based music. 00:38:25 Speaker 2: Gotcha. 00:38:26 Speaker 3: Yeah. What have I been listening to recently? 00:38:29 Speaker 2: Jason Mraz. 00:38:33 Speaker 3: Then put a bolt through my head. 00:38:36 Speaker 2: You have to wear the fedora when you're playing it. 00:38:39 Speaker 3: No, I've been listening to a lot of New Order recently. I like the tone of their guitar when they're playing guitar. Um, no, there's most of the music I listened to, uh, uh, has some level of guitar in it. 00:38:50 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:38:50 Speaker 3: One song I've, I bought, I got a guitar 15, 16 years ago and tried to learn because I wanted to play this song called sea of heartbreak by Don Gibson, an old country song. 00:38:59 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:39:00 Speaker 3: One of the best songs ever. Um, simply didn't because it requires. 00:39:04 Speaker 2: A lot of effort. My, I have a friend that's really good at guitar and it is just like, you know, you see what they can do with it and you go, Just, I'm not gonna be there. And it's like, when did you start? You're like, oh yeah, I started playing guitar like really when I was like nine. 00:39:18 Speaker 3: You go, all right, well, I'm not nine. 00:39:20 Speaker 2: So I guess that's not gonna happen. But you can always learn a new skill. I do feel that way deeply in my heart. 00:39:28 Speaker 3: What would you learn? 00:39:30 Speaker 2: I'm going to say either the piano or Spanish. 00:39:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, language would be so nice. 00:39:37 Speaker 2: Language is– and that's one that you can definitely do. And, you know, maybe– I think someday– I am always worried that I'm going to be forced into a situation where I am going to have to learn it. I'm going to be some in some foreign country, whether I've been exiled or have to flee. And I am going to be there and just have to learn whatever it is. So then I go. Well, at that point, I'll just figure it out because I'm not worried about it. 00:40:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll wait until there's a gun to my head. 00:40:09 Speaker 2: I guess I'll just do that. But I just think that it's a very– I'm also interested in what knowing multiple languages does for sort of your brain and your humanity and how you think about concepts and stuff. I had an experience where I was in Denver. I was pretty high on mushrooms. And I was it was for the High Plains Comedy Festival. I was in a I was feeling too high. And I went to try to go back to the hotel room. This was sort of right as all this when Trump took Jimmy Kimmel off the air for a second and all this stuff. So things, it just felt, you know, not that I was like, oh no, Jimmy Kimmel. But it did feel intense in the way that like. 00:40:57 Speaker 3: Like unprecedented weirdness. 00:40:59 Speaker 2: Unprecedented weird. I didn't like, I was, and I was having a lot of feelings because I was like so super high. So I'm spiraling in the hotel room. I go out to the hallway to like get on the elevator. And then the housekeepers who were only speaking Spanish were like, something, I couldn't tell what was wrong, but something was wrong. They were kind of going back and forth in a way that felt like they were like semi-upset about something or trying to resolve something, but like, I didn't know what it was. And then I started spiraling about how I didn't understand these people. I didn't necessarily understand what was going on. The fact that I didn't understand made me scared, but it was also like, And then I was getting, it made me realize like, oh, where a lot of this like bigotry, anti-immigrant kind of sentiment comes from is just this otherization because people don't inherently and reflexively understand other people and people are different from them. And that is what has like empowered a lot of like fascism to happen because people are like nationalistic and jingoistic and just afraid of other, even though these are just two people trying to figure it out. And then also everybody's afraid, they're like, oh, these people are taking over, where I'm like, these are people in service roles in the service industry. Yes, maybe they are coming into our country and like there's more other people than there were before. But it also it doesn't like matter. And everybody's getting mad. And I was just like spiraling about this in this this elevator. And I'm like, the elevator is not coming. I'm being here for so long. And maybe it was a normal amount of time. But I was just going in and in about all of just the. The immigration stuff and all of the issues, and it just made me upset that people don't understand each other. I was like, we all just have to learn more languages, and then everybody will get along. 00:42:49 Speaker 3: This is a beautiful mushroom trip experience. 00:42:53 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it was really stressful. I was really freaked out because I was getting upset about understanding languages. just the fear of not understanding what is going on, but then still being mad that people were just gave themselves to that fear and let other people make, like let the powers that be make you afraid of others instead of just being like, this is just another person that speaks a different language from me. It doesn't make them fundamentally different or better or worse than me in any way. And that was the big problem. Also in almost that same interaction, I get on the elevator, I go down and then, uh, Like and I was just in the hotel lobby and a white guy came up to me and asked me if I worked there. I have a little joke about it. But it like that is there's just so much going on racially in my brain and sort of class wise that it was just sort of a big thing. But all that to say, I would really love to learn a language. 00:43:50 Speaker 3: Where did you end up at the end of this mushroom trip? 00:43:53 Speaker 2: Where I ended up was, wow, what a day. 00:43:55 Speaker 3: You're running for governor of Colorado. 00:43:58 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm running for governor and I'm going to fix everything. And no one's going to be mean to anyone else anymore. 00:44:04 Speaker 3: I think that's a very constructive trip, you know? 00:44:07 Speaker 2: It was at the end of the day. It was pretty constructive, but it was just like. 00:44:11 Speaker 3: It's a lot to go through on one elevator ride. 00:44:13 Speaker 2: It was ill-advised and it was also that thing of like, I hadn't slept a lot and I had just got off the plane, but then... There were a bunch of comedians there and everybody was doing mushrooms. So I kind of had gotten mushrooms too fast and I shouldn't have had them. But we were all at the park and everybody was having fun. And I go, yeah, you know what? I'll do it too. And then it was like, you haven't eaten and you haven't slept. It's a bad idea, actually. Actually, maybe that's too much. But it was, you know, I guess it was constructive. And I think it was good for how I think about the world, I guess. Even though I feel like I was already on that page, but it just felt present. 00:44:49 Speaker 3: Right. 00:44:49 Speaker 2: Sometimes you know things, you think things, but then you have certain moments where you actually feel them. 00:44:54 Speaker 3: Really clarify. 00:44:55 Speaker 2: In a present way, you go, damn, nobody should be racist, y'all. Hey, y'all, don't be racist. 00:45:02 Speaker 1: Shoot. 00:45:03 Speaker 3: You learned that on that elevator. 00:45:04 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:45:05 Speaker 2: And that's the day I learned that racism is bad. Shake Maracas. Shake them. Fuck. I'm too late. 00:45:12 Speaker 3: See, this is why I'm not a professional maraca player. It's so embarrassing. Well, I think we should play a game. We're going to play a game called Invite List. 00:45:23 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:45:26 Speaker 3: Do you have anything to recommend or promote? 00:45:28 Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I do. So, if anybody... wants to. That's a weird way to start that. I'm going to start that over. Hey, if you guys want to listen to the Help Me Be Black podcast, it's a new podcast that I'm doing. You know, we've touched on it. I was raised Mormon. I was also adopted by white people, white Mormon parents. And so I didn't grow up around any black culture or anything like that. So we bring on a different black comedian every week and we just talk about Something in terms of blackness, sometimes it is actually instructional and they are telling me what to do. Sometimes we're just talking about it in the abstract and we talk about blackness sort of broadly, culturally, what the philosophy of it, how it feels to be black and stuff like that. And, you know, sometimes people might be like, well, that sounds really tough, but it's really fun and silly. I think at this point, you know, my vibe. So things aren't going to get too dark except for when they do, baby. 00:46:22 Speaker 3: That's a great idea. I should do that for being gay. 00:46:26 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:46:27 Speaker 2: I'm going to copy your podcast. Yeah, copy my podcast. Do the whole thing. It can be a spinoff. As long as you, you know, I am not gay, but still happy. You can be an EP on it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'll be like, hey, from the help me universe. 00:46:38 Speaker 3: You should have a whole help me. 00:46:40 Speaker 2: If you used to be Mormon. 00:46:41 Speaker 3: It's like chicken soup. 00:46:43 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes. 00:46:44 Speaker 3: Perfect. 00:46:45 Speaker 1: Wow. 00:46:46 Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to get to this. 00:46:47 Speaker 3: Yes, this is going to be our big money maker. Do I have anything to, well, I don't have anything to promote. I'm on my thing right now uh recommend i i should have started recommending this a while ago widow's bay on apple tv if you haven't seen it is the show the one of the best shows i've seen in a very very long time holy shit it's so funny good show if. 00:47:09 Speaker 2: You guys haven't seen it you download download whatever you get apple tv right now you click off of this well wait till this is over and i want you to go directly to apple tv and click on a widow's bay because it's so good And even if you're scared of scary stuff, it's still really, really funny. 00:47:25 Speaker 3: It's delightful. 00:47:26 Speaker 2: Shout out Katie Dippold who created the show. 00:47:27 Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely. 00:47:30 Speaker 2: Incredible cast, incredible writing team. It's directed by Hiro Murai. 00:47:34 Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. 00:47:34 Speaker 2: Look, I'm big into Widow's Bay. 00:47:36 Speaker 3: It's such a good, I mean, it feels like a miracle right now. 00:47:40 Speaker 2: The Chris Fleming episodes? Come on. 00:47:42 Speaker 3: Our friend Chris. Yeah, it's just a perfect show. So if you haven't, it's It does feel like Beatlemania a little bit with people watching the show. It's taken over. Yeah. But I still feel like people need to hear about it. 00:47:53 Speaker 2: Absolutely. Okay. 00:47:55 Speaker 3: We're going to play invite list. I'm going to start naming a list of celebrities. 00:47:58 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:47:58 Speaker 3: You're going to say invited or not invited. You can say why or why not. You don't have to. 00:48:02 Speaker 2: Invited to what? 00:48:03 Speaker 3: Your party. 00:48:04 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:48:05 Speaker 3: Any type of party you want. 00:48:06 Speaker 2: Any type of party. Okay, cool. 00:48:07 Speaker 3: And once we get to 10, that's the party. 00:48:10 Speaker 2: Oh, wow. Okay. 00:48:11 Speaker 3: So is that perfectly clear? 00:48:13 Speaker 2: That's clear, but I think the risk is then, like, what if we get to 10 and then suddenly you say something and I'm like, oh, my God. 00:48:19 Speaker 3: Well, that's your fault. 00:48:20 Speaker 2: Wow. That's fully my fault. 00:48:21 Speaker 1: Okay. 00:48:22 Speaker 2: All right. 00:48:23 Speaker 3: A lot of things are ultimately your fault. 00:48:24 Speaker 2: I knew that. I knew that. 00:48:26 Speaker 3: All right. Let's get going here. Danny DeVito. 00:48:30 Speaker 2: Yes, invited. 00:48:31 Speaker 3: Julia Louis-Dreyfus. 00:48:34 Speaker 2: Wow, man. See, I don't want to fill up to 10 so fast. 00:48:37 Speaker 3: You've got to be discerning. 00:48:39 Speaker 2: I know. I'm going to say... I know a lot of people would say invited. I'm going to say not invited because only because I'm getting too scared of doing two in a row and I'm going to go 10 in a row and say invited. I love her. Not invited. 00:48:54 Speaker 3: Jason Statham. 00:48:55 Speaker 2: Not invited. 00:48:56 Speaker 3: Ray Fiennes. 00:48:57 Speaker 2: Not invited. 00:48:58 Speaker 3: Pharrell Williams. 00:49:00 Speaker 2: Pharrell Williams. 00:49:01 Speaker 1: Ooh. 00:49:03 Speaker 2: That's a tough one. That is tough. Ooh, Pharrell. I've been very disappointed in him lately, but so much of his music is so good. I'm going to say Invited. 00:49:13 Speaker 3: I think that's a decent bet. 00:49:16 Speaker 2: I'm going to say Invited. 00:49:17 Speaker 3: It'd be fun. 00:49:19 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:49:20 Speaker 3: Steve Buscemi. 00:49:22 Speaker 2: Buscemi? Oh, man. I'm going to have to go Invited. 00:49:27 Speaker 3: I would definitely invite Buscemi. 00:49:30 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:49:30 Speaker 3: He seems like a good egg. 00:49:31 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:49:32 Speaker 2: Ludacris. Ludacris. God, I'm going to get to 10 so fast. I want to invite him. Luda, you know what? I'm already dealing with Pharrell. I'm not going to go. 00:49:45 Speaker 3: That could end up, I don't know what their relationship is. 00:49:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm less interested in Ludacris now. We're going to play Ludacris at the party. I'm not going to invite him fully. He doesn't need to be there. I'm going to ask Pharrell if he wants to call him for a second, but he's not going to be there. 00:50:00 Speaker 3: FaceTime Ludacris. Donnie Wahlberg. 00:50:04 Speaker 2: Not invited. 00:50:05 Speaker 3: Jon Hamm. 00:50:06 Speaker 2: Not invited. Not invited. Not invited. I love his work. I don't think he's invited. Okay. He's going to drink too much. 00:50:13 Speaker 3: Lea Michele. 00:50:15 Speaker 2: Absolutely not invited. Absolutely the fuck not. She's not going to be able to read the goddamn invite. There's no way. You don't get to come. 00:50:24 Speaker 3: Kris Jenner. 00:50:25 Speaker 2: Kris Jenner, not invited. 00:50:28 Speaker 3: Felicity Huffman. 00:50:29 Speaker 2: Not invited. Cher. 00:50:30 Speaker 1: Cher. 00:50:34 Speaker 2: Is not invited. 00:50:35 Speaker 3: Ooh, you've only got your limited time with Cher. I'm just saying, but I'm not going to force you. 00:50:40 Speaker 2: I get it. It's my party, everybody. It is your party. I know the listener, so many listeners were like, what the fuck? You wanted to invite Cher? It's my party, you guys. And it's not, and I don't want the same things you want. 00:50:51 Speaker 3: Good for you. 00:50:52 Speaker 2: Thank you. 00:50:53 Speaker 3: Chris Kirkpatrick. Kirk, ooh, he's got a hard name. Chris Kirkpatrick from NSYNC. I can't even picture which one. 00:51:02 Speaker 2: I was going to be like, who is that? Not invited. 00:51:05 Speaker 3: He's one of four that are not Justin Timberlake. 00:51:07 Speaker 2: Imagine inviting just a dream team of celebs, and then suddenly you've got the least cool NSYNC guy there. And everyone's like, okay, so we're all celebrities. Who's this guy? He goes, NSYNC. 00:51:20 Speaker 3: God bless you, Chris Kirkpatrick. 00:51:23 Speaker 2: Chris Kirkpatrick, I love you. If you're listening, and you probably are, sorry. 00:51:28 Speaker 3: Jake Gyllenhaal. 00:51:29 Speaker 2: Jake Gyllenhaal, no, no. He's scary and I don't know why, but he scares me. I don't know what it is. He's scary. 00:51:36 Speaker 3: Amy Poehler. 00:51:37 Speaker 2: Invited. Amy, you are invited even if nobody else is invited. You're genuinely invited. Amy, call me. 00:51:46 Speaker 3: This is too desperate. 00:51:47 Speaker 1: Back off. 00:51:49 Speaker 3: Khloe Kardashian. 00:51:50 Speaker 2: Khloe Kardashian. 00:51:51 Speaker 1: No. 00:51:52 Speaker 2: No. 00:51:53 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:51:53 Speaker 2: Never. If I even hear she wants to come, I want to sue her with top dog law. There's no way. Okay. 00:52:02 Speaker 3: This one counts as one. The Coen brothers. 00:52:04 Speaker 2: The Coen brothers. 00:52:06 Speaker 3: You get two for one here. 00:52:07 Speaker 2: Oh, well, that's interesting. I'm still going to say not invited because it is a party. And I, again, we can put on one of their movies. I'm not really trying to. Oh, how do you write so slow or whatever? 00:52:23 Speaker 3: They don't seem like party guys to me. 00:52:24 Speaker 2: They're not party guys. 00:52:26 Speaker 3: Henry Winkler. 00:52:28 Speaker 2: Oh, Henry Winkler. 00:52:32 Speaker 1: Hmm. 00:52:33 Speaker 2: I think Henry Winkler would be good. What am I at right now? 00:52:37 Speaker 1: Ellis? 00:52:38 Speaker 2: Four. I'm at four only? Okay. I'm making good choices. 00:52:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, you've got plenty of room to grow. 00:52:46 Speaker 2: Henry Winkler invited. 00:52:48 Speaker 3: Stephen Baldwin. 00:52:49 Speaker 2: No way. No way, brother. Absolutely not invited. 00:52:56 Speaker 3: Shigeru Miyamoto. 00:52:57 Speaker 2: Invited. Get in here, dude. Get in here, Nintendo. We're going to play. We're going to game. 00:53:02 Speaker 3: We love this guy. Yeah. Joan Cusack. 00:53:05 Speaker 1: No. 00:53:06 Speaker 3: Heidi Klum. No. Lily Tomlin. 00:53:09 Speaker 1: No. 00:53:09 Speaker 3: Watched 9 to 5 last night. 00:53:11 Speaker 1: Wow. 00:53:11 Speaker 3: Robert Smith from The Cure. 00:53:14 Speaker 2: Okay. I didn't know, but no. 00:53:15 Speaker 3: James Corden. Corden? 00:53:17 Speaker 1: No. 00:53:18 Speaker 2: Let's go to the next one. You know that one. You know my answer on that one. Absolutely. Nancy Pelosi? 00:53:26 Speaker 3: Nancy Pelosi. 00:53:29 Speaker 2: Can I just say, I just did a show, a college show, and I had a punchline that referenced Nancy Pelosi. And one of the kids in front was like, who is that? 00:53:37 Speaker 3: Oh, boy. 00:53:38 Speaker 2: Jesus Christ. Yeah. But, you know, she was like a freshman in college so maybe maybe i don't i don't know what people are supposed to know at this point anyway she didn't know who nancy pelosi was and uh she is a woman who was not invited to. 00:53:53 Speaker 3: The party carson daly carson daly no tucker carlson wow. 00:53:58 Speaker 2: If only for us to attack him uh and if we if i could If I could stomp out Tucker Carlson with Amy Poehler, that would be fun. But we might all just pull up to his house. He's not invited to the party. 00:54:12 Speaker 3: He would be a unifying force within the party. 00:54:15 Speaker 2: Totally. 00:54:15 Speaker 3: Just everybody wanting to do something to this person. 00:54:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, but absolutely not. 00:54:19 Speaker 3: Charles Barkley. 00:54:21 Speaker 2: Charles Barkley, yes. 00:54:22 Speaker 3: He's recently lost 45 pounds in the last seven months. Well, then no. I saw him in an ad. 00:54:26 Speaker 1: No. 00:54:27 Speaker 3: I see him in an ad all the time. 00:54:28 Speaker 2: Skinny Barkley? 00:54:29 Speaker 3: Come on. 00:54:29 Speaker 2: He's too skinny. I want you chunky. I'm still going to let him come, but I'm going to really pressure him into eating a lot. I want him so like this again. 00:54:39 Speaker 3: I think of Charles Barkley as an inherently round person. 00:54:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's the. 00:54:44 Speaker 3: He's always had a good just like roundness. 00:54:46 Speaker 2: He was like the round mound of rebound is what he was called. 00:54:48 Speaker 3: Is that true? 00:54:49 Speaker 2: Yeah, they had a lot of fat guy names for Charles Barkley. 00:54:52 Speaker 3: I think he had such a good shape. I don't think he needs to be rail thin. Yeah. 00:54:56 Speaker 2: No, well, that's the big... I mean... Whatever her body, her choice, but for everybody. But for Charles Barkley. Everybody do whatever they want, but I do think people, when they're getting on these Ozempics, they look very. 00:55:07 Speaker 3: You just got to be careful. You got to be careful. 00:55:09 Speaker 2: You look wraith-like. 00:55:12 Speaker 3: Phil Collins. 00:55:13 Speaker 2: Phil Collins. Wow. I didn't, I guess I didn't know that he was alive. Yeah, he's in. 00:55:18 Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess he is alive. Kelly Clarkson. 00:55:22 Speaker 1: Nah. 00:55:22 Speaker 3: Richard Kind. 00:55:24 Speaker 2: Whoa, but no. A lot of people want to come. 00:55:27 Speaker 3: Martin Shkreli. Martin Shkreli. 00:55:35 Speaker 2: That's a yes. Oh, that's one of the biggest no's. But that's hilarious that he's even in the mix. 00:55:43 Speaker 3: Paul Dano. 00:55:45 Speaker 1: No. 00:55:45 Speaker 2: That guy doesn't party. 00:55:47 Speaker 3: You and Tarantino. 00:55:48 Speaker 2: No. 00:55:49 Speaker 1: Well, no. 00:55:49 Speaker 2: I mean, I would never agree with Tarantino on anything, but Paul Dano doesn't party. 00:55:53 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think he has. I hope he has a nice quiet time somewhere. Stanley Tucci. 00:55:58 Speaker 2: Stanley Tucci? Ooh, Tucci gang. No, no, no, no. 00:56:03 Speaker 3: Hugh Grant. 00:56:04 Speaker 2: Grant? 00:56:04 Speaker 3: No, no, no. John Travolta. 00:56:06 Speaker 2: John Travolta? 00:56:07 Speaker 1: No. 00:56:08 Speaker 3: Common. 00:56:09 Speaker 2: Common? Yes. 00:56:11 Speaker 3: That's nine. 00:56:11 Speaker 1: Ooh, wow. 00:56:12 Speaker 2: That's nine. 00:56:13 Speaker 3: We got to nine pretty quickly after four. 00:56:15 Speaker 2: Wow, okay. 00:56:16 Speaker 3: All right, be very careful. Laurie Metcalf. 00:56:19 Speaker 2: No. 00:56:20 Speaker 3: That's a shame. Andy McDowell. 00:56:23 Speaker 2: No. 00:56:24 Speaker 3: Boy George. No. Kelly Rowland. 00:56:28 Speaker 2: Kelly Rowland. 00:56:30 Speaker 1: Hmm. Hmm. 00:56:38 Speaker 2: I can't hit the 10 on Kelly Rowland. Unfortunately, even though... Kelly, you're great. I can't hit the 10 on Kelly Rowland. 00:56:46 Speaker 3: Stacey Abrams. 00:56:47 Speaker 2: Stacey Abrams. Wow. 00:56:50 Speaker 1: Huh. 00:56:51 Speaker 2: This would be a very interesting party. I don't like that it's predominantly white. 00:56:56 Speaker 3: Um. 00:56:56 Speaker 2: But Stacey Abrams would bring an element to it that, you know what? I do think with Stacey Abrams there, I think people are going to respect her too much. And I think it's going to bring down the energy. 00:57:11 Speaker 3: People are going to not be their most fun selves. 00:57:13 Speaker 2: They're not going to be the most fun selves. I'm going to say no, Stacey. Right. 00:57:16 Speaker 3: That makes sense to me. J.J. 00:57:18 Speaker 2: Abrams. No. Lotto. 00:57:20 Speaker 1: Lotto. 00:57:21 Speaker 2: Lotto. Ooh, well, no, because everybody, look, from what I've chosen so far, they're not going to be able to vibe. And Lotto's just going to be so different from everybody else. And then I'm going to be stuck talking to Lotto the whole time. Because she's going to be like, who's Henry Winkler? And I'll be like, Lotto, like, I don't know. I mean, if I had a different party lineup and I was forced into a lot of this, I'm sorry, Lotto, but no. 00:57:49 Speaker 3: Demi Lovato. 00:57:50 Speaker 2: Huh, no. 00:57:52 Speaker 3: Tina Fey. 00:57:53 Speaker 2: Tina Fey. Well, if I bring Tina Fey, she's going to talk to Amy the whole time, so no. 00:57:57 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:57:58 Speaker 3: They're going to be together, and then I'm not going to get to talk to Amy. Right, right. Lisa Barlow. No. Vladimir Putin. 00:58:06 Speaker 2: Whoa. Yes. Yes, I'm going out on 10 on Vladimir Putin. That's smart. 00:58:10 Speaker 3: That's a great choice. Get that guy in a party. 00:58:17 Speaker 2: It's so crazy that I go, sure. 00:58:19 Speaker 3: Take him to a Dave and Buster's. What's going to happen? 00:58:22 Speaker 2: What is going to happen? 00:58:23 Speaker 3: Someone's going to die of lead poisoning or something. 00:58:25 Speaker 2: I just, I, if thinking of all the people that are in that room and that we get Pharrell Williams and everybody's going to be like, well, Vladimir Putin's here. And we're all, here's the thing about Vladimir Putin being at the party with that mix of people and myself. We're all talking about that party for the rest of our lives. We go, we were at this crazy party where it was a handful of seemingly random smattering of celebrities. And is one really funny comedian. And then. 00:58:56 Speaker 3: Career advancement opportunity. 00:59:01 Speaker 2: Why else would I go to a party? I don't like famous people really. Why else would I have this party? 00:59:06 Speaker 3: Of course. 00:59:07 Speaker 2: Of course it's a career advancing opportunity. And then they go, Vladimir Putin was there. How did that happen? And we don't know. 00:59:13 Speaker 3: But you got to network with him. 00:59:15 Speaker 2: I got to pitch him my pilot. 00:59:17 Speaker 3: Vlad, you're going to love this. 00:59:18 Speaker 2: Vlad, you wait. No, it's so interesting. It's like a new take on an old form. 00:59:24 Speaker 3: All right, we're going to play just one round of a game called Gift or a Curse. I'm going to name something. You're going to tell me if it's a gift or a curse and why. Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Okay. This is from a listener named Mark. Gift or a curse, newspapers slash magazines hung by urinals. 00:59:41 Speaker 2: Newsplay hung by urinals? I don't even know if I understand what he's referencing. 00:59:44 Speaker 3: You've never seen this? 00:59:46 Speaker 2: Newspapers. So it's like an old newspaper maybe and it's decorative or is it? 00:59:52 Speaker 3: It's usually new newspaper. The place that I'll see this at is at the Largo actually. 00:59:57 Speaker 2: I think. At the Largo. Okay. I'm trying to– because I'm picturing Largo. I'm only seeing their old magazine things framed. 01:00:05 Speaker 1: On the wall. 01:00:05 Speaker 3: Okay. So now maybe I'm– I have seen this somewhere. 01:00:09 Speaker 2: Newspaper or magazine by a urinal? 01:00:11 Speaker 3: I think the magazine confuses it. I think– I have seen these. It will be like the week's newspaper and then it's– they like pin it to a thing for you to read while you're peeing. 01:00:19 Speaker 2: Yeah. And we've seen this in 2026? 01:00:22 Speaker 3: Well, we're only halfway through the year. 01:00:25 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I just... I guess I'm really. 01:00:32 Speaker 2: Well, accepting that this premise is a true thing that does happen, which I will. 01:00:37 Speaker 3: It's not the Loch Ness Monster. Mark, I respect you. 01:00:40 Speaker 2: No, but I understand. I can picture in my mind's eye how this does work. Have I seen it in recent ever? I don't know. 01:00:48 Speaker 3: But. 01:00:50 Speaker 2: Gift or curse? I say gift. You're given the opportunity to read. 01:00:53 Speaker 3: Correct. 01:00:53 Speaker 2: Nice. 01:00:53 Speaker 3: It's a gift. Yes. We are empowering readers. Yeah. We're falling apart as a nation. 01:00:59 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:01:00 Speaker 3: The more newspapers we have hanging above urinals, the better. Yes. Let's get our men reading. 01:01:04 Speaker 2: Let's get our men reading again. Let's keep reading, you guys. Everybody crack open a book right now. Everybody crack open a book right now. 01:01:11 Speaker 3: And you've got to be a very good reader to read one at the urinal unless you're taking a really long pee. 01:01:15 Speaker 2: Well, I guess that's what confuses me about the idea of this premise is that it is your when you're peeing, it's pretty fast. So, like, what are you going to get through? Like, oh, you're reading the headline. It's like Trump renames Lake Ontario to. Oh, I'm done. 01:01:33 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm done. 01:01:33 Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know what he renamed it to because I'm done. 01:01:36 Speaker 3: And now you're trapped with the mystery. 01:01:37 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:01:38 Speaker 2: Now you're trapped with the mystery. And you know what? Maybe that's good to walk around with a sense of mystery in your life. You don't know everything about everything. 01:01:45 Speaker 3: Exactly. 01:01:46 Speaker 2: Exactly. 01:01:47 Speaker 3: All right. Let's answer a listener question. This is from a Patreon listener named Sarah. Let's see. When you see someone coming towards you down a long hallway, how long do you wait before acknowledging them? I usually smile and nod too soon, so when we are actually passing each other, I either have to do it again or just look away. All situations are very awkward. That's from Sarah. 01:02:09 Speaker 2: Oh, my God. 01:02:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is, I think this is a nightmare. 01:02:13 Speaker 2: Sarah, you asked the unanswerable question. The one great unanswerable question. Well, because it is like there are also so many factors. Now, when we're really talking about it, is this person a, co-worker that you do know right is it a stranger is it somebody that you've already seen today. 01:02:34 Speaker 3: If you've already seen him today it's 10 times. 01:02:36 Speaker 2: Worse because then you're kind of like well then when do i you know how many times am i passing them what information do we have to exchange yeah and but is it um is it somebody that i love that i haven't seen in a long time then it's like, well, then why would I just be passing them? I guess. Then I'd be like, oh my God, it's you. But maybe that's how we should react for everybody. Maybe we should see somebody at the end and we go, oh my God. Oh my God. 01:02:59 Speaker 3: And then pick up the pace and start running towards them. 01:03:01 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. I think that's the answer. 01:03:03 Speaker 3: Every person you see in a long hallway. 01:03:05 Speaker 2: It's just so awkward. 01:03:07 Speaker 3: It's impossible. 01:03:08 Speaker 2: Or you can just choose to not acknowledge them at all, I guess. But that feels a little. 01:03:15 Speaker 2: Depending on the situation, it does feel a little cold, but I feel like you can get away with it a little bit if you're just kind of like, whatever. I don't know. 01:03:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm trying to picture myself freely in this situation. I think we initially do kind of a nod. Yeah. And then once we get close enough to talk, I say... I don't know what I say at that point. I say something that's totally meaningless. 01:03:42 Speaker 2: Let me ask you this. Did Sarah specify the race of the person? Can you imagine? 01:03:49 Speaker 1: Well. 01:03:53 Speaker 3: Our lovely listeners. Oh, no, it's I do think it's impossible. Yeah. And you just have to kind of recognize that the other person has is thinking bad thoughts about you the entire time they're walking towards you. 01:04:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that's an interesting way to put it. 01:04:17 Speaker 3: And just live with that insecurity. 01:04:20 Speaker 2: I think this is yet another situation that maracas might help where you could, you know, yeah, we're kind of walking down and kind of you're jamming down the whole time. Then they have to choose when to acknowledge you. If you're just jamming and you're just kind of looking at them the whole time. Then put it on them. 01:04:37 Speaker 3: The answer is to trap them in the worst possible position. 01:04:40 Speaker 2: Yeah. First of all, everybody, you've got to read the 48 Laws of Power. It's all about maintaining power in every situation. 01:04:48 Speaker 3: It's very Maracas-based. 01:04:49 Speaker 2: Yeah. 01:04:54 Speaker 3: Well, I have my Maracas. We've answered the question perfectly. 01:04:57 Speaker 1: Of course. 01:04:58 Speaker 3: We've talked about the universal Utah experience. 01:05:02 Speaker 2: Yeah. 01:05:03 Speaker 3: And I've got a new goal to wear, kind of a revealing top at the mall. 01:05:07 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely. 01:05:08 Speaker 3: Which I'm excited about. 01:05:09 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 01:05:10 Speaker 3: I'm so glad you could be here. 01:05:11 Speaker 2: Yes. Thank you so much for having me. And now you have a friend in the diamond business. 01:05:16 Speaker 3: Listener, the podcast is over. I'm going to leave you with this as you kind of fall asleep at the wheel. I love you. Goodbye. Goodbye. I Said No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker Patrick Kottner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I Said No Gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts? 01:05:57 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here... Thought I made myself perfectly clear When you're a guest in my home You gotta come to me empty-handed I said no gifts, your presence is presence enough And I already had too much stuff So how do you dare disobey me? Thank you.