WEBVTT - Nazis Don't Go To Valhalla: Spooky Week #5 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:16.720 It's it's spook all right, I didn't so if I'm 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:21.959 done for the day, taking taking the rest off by ament, 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:28.440 we sure do. Uh. So, you know, normally this is 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:32.120 a show about collapse, all that good stuff, YadA, YadA, YadA, 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:34.800 But fucking it's Halloween week. So we're we're we're we're 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:36.640 we're making sure all of our stuff has a little 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.520 bit of an extra spooky twist. It's like when you 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:41.840 you make a martini and you decide to actually put 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:44.240 vermuth inside it, as opposed to just kind of waving 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:47.560 it nearby. That's what we're doing this week, with spookiness 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:52.839 being the vermouth and mixing up our martini. Today is 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:58.240 Margaret Killjoy, Margaret Hello, Hello, I'm a famous mixologist, so 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:02.520 clearly this would be very good. Now Margaret today for 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:05.600 this very special episode of it could happen here on 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:09.319 Spooky Week. You have written us, well, you've written a 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:12.440 short story and you're going to read it and and 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:16.199 and we're all gonna enjoy it. Is that is that accurate? Um? 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.920 I hope at least I can I can testify to 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:21.800 the first parts, and I hope for the last part. Excellent. 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:25.400 All right, Well, with without further ado, or with minimal 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:29.160 further ado. Let's uh, let's let's let's just you know, 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:32.160 with the with the stuff, with the stuff, Margaret, with 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:34.600 this stuff. Well this is great because this is actually 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:38.000 a short story that you start reading of. Oh ship, Yeah, 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:41.040 where's that link? You tested it to me, but I 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.560 don't have my phone on me. Okay, let me put 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:48.480 it in the chat here um based impressive, to say 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:54.320 the least, based in fiction pilled. Okay, I start reading 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:57.520 the italics. Yeah, it's the first A couple of paragraphs 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:01.880 of introduction, and your your interview. Me, all right, motherfucker's 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:17.840 let's get it started. The Northern Host, for all its lingering, 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:20.280 horror and misery, the wake of a war is rich 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:23.600 to reign for a folklorist like myself. More people report 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:27.480 more supernatural experiences during times of war than times of peace. 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.359 Some of my peers have argued the stress and shock 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:33.560 of battle leaves our brains more susceptible to mass delusion. 0:02:34.120 --> 0:02:37.280 Others claim that the veil between worlds remains thin when 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:40.519 so many are passing from life to death. The Second 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:45.000 American Civil War has been no exception. Most famously, of course, 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:47.440 soldiers from each of the three armies present at the 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:50.480 fifteen day Siege of St. Louis reported a wailing man 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:53.680 who walked among the wounded, healing some and ending the 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:57.680 lives of others. On the Cascadian Front, rebel forces spoke 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:00.400 of black bears, who in effect stood central for their 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:05.160 guerrilla positions. During the White Army's occupation of Washington, d C. 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:08.880 Civilians and soldiers alike reported apparitions pouring out from the 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:12.959 Pentagon Crater every new moon. Of all the various myths 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:14.840 and legends to spring up in the wake of the 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:18.760 recent conflict, however, I find myself most strongly drawn to 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:21.639 the stories of the Northern host. Never have I heard 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:24.280 a myth recounted in such detail by such a wide 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:28.359 variety of people. My favorite telling comes from Private Sarah 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:32.000 Dollar in the Battle of Ashville. This interview was recorded 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:35.480 in the spring of and lightly edited for clarity with 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.440 permission of the subject. Note that the subject refers to 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.720 the White Army by pejoratives throughout. These have been left 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:46.600 intact for the historical record. Could you introduce yourself and 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:50.080 tell me what you saw. Yeah, my my name is 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:52.560 Sarah Daher. I'm thirty one years old. I live in 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:54.800 Ashville and the Appalachian region of the United States of 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:58.520 America on stolen Cherokee Land. My u S military rank 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:01.520 was private. They may us all privates when they incorporated 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:04.080 the Irregulars into the Army, but I only served in 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:06.920 the Union to fight the White Army a year later. 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:09.160 I'm one of those crazy radicals who doesn't think the 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:12.960 reconfiguration goes far enough. I've never fired a gun in 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.000 my life before the Irregulars, and I hope I never 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.159 fired another one again. By temperament, I'm neither a lover 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:21.080 nor a fighter. I'm just your average trans girl who 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:24.919 likes cats and hates Nazis. I fought in three engagements 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:29.240 in Weaverville, Leicester, and Asheville. I think I killed two people. 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:31.880 One of them I know I killed him. I saw 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:33.840 him bleed out and I saw him taken away in 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:36.560 a black bag. The other person was a man I 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:39.520 shot in the thigh during the Battle of Asheville. I 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:41.919 didn't know you could die from a bullet in the thigh, 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:44.400 but I've spent a lot of time looking at casualty records, 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.240 and someone who fit that man's general description died in 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:50.440 that battle from a bullet to the thigh. Does that 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:55.839 bother you? Yes, No, I don't know. I don't lose 0:04:55.880 --> 0:04:58.000 sleep over it, but I think about it a lot. 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:00.200 I look at the docks on both of them. The 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:02.599 first guy was a true believer, a real blood and 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:05.400 soil type. It doesn't bother me that I mingled those 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:08.800 two things for him. The second man, though, I'm not 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:11.560 so sure, he signed up because his son signed up. 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:13.880 I don't have any kids myself, but I could see 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:17.919 myself doing that. His son survived the war. Have you 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:20.960 been in contact with his son? Now? Funk? That guy 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:22.640 that kids a fucking Nazi and I don't know how 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.800 he talked his way out of the tribunals. Can you 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.120 tell me what you saw at the Battle of Asheville. 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:32.440 This was during the Fascist Spring Offensive last year, you know, 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:36.320 Hitler's birthday April. By that point, the White Army was 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:38.560 pretty much done, but they weren't about to go down 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:41.880 without doing some major symbolic damage. So there were about 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.680 forty of us, all irregulars, with our own commanders, no 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:49.000 army oversight. Morale was down. We felt pretty abandoned. Common 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.840 sentiment in the South I was on the street out 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:55.120 in front of the library, walking rounds. Downtown was half 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:58.360 rubble at that point. Only the library was standing because 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:01.160 symbols matter and all that bullsh ship, So that's where 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:05.000 we were making a stand. Neither side had artillery. Really 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:07.760 by that point, the brass had just commandeered even our 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:11.320 RPGs for the quote real fight. Air support wasn't coming, 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:14.080 not for them and not for us. Really, the Battle 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.400 of Ashville was was like nothing to the rest of 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:19.880 the world, and we knew it. So I was doing 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:22.599 the rounds thinking about my ship luck, thinking maybe I 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:24.560 was going to die, and how so many people had died, 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:26.679 and what's another dead girl to add to the pile. 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:29.159 I was thinking about how at least this dead girl 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:31.840 is going to die surrounded by or in defensive books. 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.400 And then I heard dogs from around the side of 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:38.479 the building. One barked loud and near, the other sort 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:41.480 of distant and echoy. I went to check it out, 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:44.839 turned the corner and there was this naked guy. He 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:47.680 was pale as hell, tall, tattooed and scarred, and like 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:50.279 I said, he was naked as the sun. I stared 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:53.599 at him, he stared at me. I got so distracted 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:55.039 trying to figure him out that it took me a 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:57.760 moment to realize there were nine others behind him, or 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:00.120 maybe they weren't there at first. I don't know. Oh 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.640 most of them were men, mostly of the tall Norse 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:05.800 looking variety, but there was a Middle Eastern man and 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:08.760 three women, including one who by my read was Latin 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:13.000 X No dogs anywhere that I could see. The man 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:15.200 closest to me he asked me something in a language 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:18.200 I didn't know. I just kind of stared. He asked 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:22.080 me another question in another language. What I asked? Who 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:26.520 are you? Who are we fighting? He asked? His accent 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:28.280 was thick, and I couldn't place it for the life 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:30.800 of me. I mean, I know now, but I sure 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:33.720 as ship didn't know it then we I asked what 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:36.000 I was due back out front, because I was a 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:39.000 century doing the rounds and this sure needed reporting. But 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:41.400 what the hell was I going to tell? People? Who 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:45.760 are we fighting? Where are we You're in Asheville? Who 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:50.400 are you? Ah? The American conflict? The man said behind him. 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:54.640 Others nodded. Their movements were sloppy, dream like they were drunk. 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.720 I later realized one of them had dried blood running 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:01.240 down from her lip onto her not insubstantial. Ally, you're 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:04.360 fighting the nationalists, the first one said, we're here to 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:08.360 help you. Who are you, I asked this third time 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:11.360 he actually answered, my name is bell Gear. We are 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:15.040 the dead. We are the inn here from Valhalla. Every 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:17.280 day we are sent to a battle to fight, and 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:23.240 we die. The others behind him nodded, definitely drunk. Now, 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.760 I know there were good folks on our side who 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:27.960 were into European paganism, but you have to understand that 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:29.600 a lot more of the fashion were into that ship 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:33.280 than anybody else. If they hadn't been naked and drunk, 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:37.520 I might have mistaken them for the enemy and shot them. Valhalla, 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:40.560 I said, reciting the tiny bit I knew that's where 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:43.720 Vikings go if they die in battle, feast every day 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:47.280 and fight every night in Odin's hall until the end 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:49.320 of the world, where you like also fight and die. 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:53.600 But wolf eats the sun or something close enough. Bell 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:56.920 Gear said, I mean Odin only gets half the battle dead, 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:59.640 and Viking isn't a good name for us. But sure, 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:04.160 and you're here because we are to take arms alongside you, 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:08.120 fight your enemies and die Today am I going to 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:11.199 die today? Only the seers and the gods know that. 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:14.920 I've been calling myself a witch half my life, but 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:17.400 honestly that was mostly because I like taro and astrology 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:20.080 and panagrams and ship I've never been someone who took 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:23.120 the supernatural all that seriously. But nothing in the world 0:09:23.200 --> 0:09:25.720 made sense like it used to. Fascists had just been 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:28.559 driven out of d C. Cascadia had not only succeeded, 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:30.200 but was in a civil war of its own now. 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.240 Mexico was gone and replaced by self governing states of 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:36.320 almost every stripe in the political rainbow. China had backed 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:39.320 white supremacists and other nationalist types in an American civil war, 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:43.440 and antigovernment leftists were fighting alongside weirdos like me in 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.559 the damn u s Army. I can't say those things 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:49.400 were as weird as naked dead don't call us vikings 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:52.040 talking to me in the street. But somehow all of 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:56.280 that was just comparably bizarre. Come let us arm ourselves 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:59.640 and fight together. You and I Belger said, So that's 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:02.240 how I'm the Northern host. Most people don't believe me, 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:04.319 assume it was just some kind of drunk wing nuts. 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:07.360 Maybe some irregulars I've never met before, but I saw 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:09.480 what I saw, and I believe it. The rest of 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:13.200 us who survived they saw it too, And how did 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:16.920 it go? Yeah? Pardon the battle? How did it go? 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.520 We got the iron here yard into irregular's garb and 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:23.240 armed them. There were plenty of guns at that point 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:27.760 in the forgotten hellhole of front. Bullets not so much, 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:31.119 but plenty of guns. They were all comfortable with firearms, 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:33.079 though one fellow groused about what he wouldn't do for 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:35.920 an axe and shield, and another said what we had 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:38.640 was fine, but monofilament web guns were better than any 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.960 combat shotgun. To hear them, tell it, funk it? Why 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:44.160 am I pretending like I don't believe them? I believe 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:45.760 them with every bit of my soul, and damn what 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:47.680 people think of me for it. The Northern Host fight 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:50.040 every night, and every night. They are in a different 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:52.760 time and place. Most battles in human history were in 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:56.160 the past, they said, which sounds optimistic, doesn't it, But 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:57.960 they said they fought in every century up to the 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:03.480 Nothing happen after the twenty four century. Ragnarok most likely 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:05.680 the end of the world, wolves eating the sun, and 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:09.360 the moon all that. They stood guard out with me 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:12.319 out front. Around midday we got hit with an e MP. 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:15.160 We knew that was coming. It didn't screw us up much. 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.720 We had a hardened phone in the basement, and all 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:19.920 our weapons operated just as well in dumb mode a 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:23.959 smart mode, including our own e MPs. The White Army 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:26.920 showed up, maybe a hundred men, all men, that's their 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:29.199 whole stick. They came in on motorcycles and a t 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.760 v s and horses more stick. Like a fucking folksy 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:35.000 they are. We hit them with the m e mp 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:37.040 s anyway level the field, took out the a t 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.640 v s, the bikes were retrofitted, no electric and a horse. 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:43.760 You can't impel horse. I don't know if there was 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:45.840 a skirmish in that war that didn't start with both 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:48.400 sides ritually knocking the other one back to basically the 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:51.599 twentieth century. I think the tactical e MP is the 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.880 reason there's anything left of this country. We took a 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:56.800 few pot shots while they were still at range, but 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:58.800 we didn't have the AMMO to waste on anything else. 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:02.080 I don't think we'd at any damage. They took up 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:03.959 position further up the hill and the ruins of the 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:09.040 old Basilica. Then we waited. We should have mined the church. 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:11.719 That old thing was blown half to ship. Anyway, it 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:13.680 wouldn't have made the world any worse if we'd either 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:17.800 leveled it or hidden explosives throughout. But you know, ethical 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:21.480 war or whatever, don't mind churches. The other side leveled 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.360 every mosques, inn agogue and quote heretic church they got 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:27.000 their hands on, not to mention libraries and universities and 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.400 even the goddamn Statue of Liberty because they hate immigrants. 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.000 But we were supposed to be fighting a quote ethical war. 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.840 Those two words don't got nothing to do with one another, 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:40.320 and everyone knows it. So they hold up in the Basilica, 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:42.120 and we pulled back into the library and we had 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:44.760 one of those good old fashioned standoffs where people die 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:49.000 slowly from sniper fire and everything is awful. That's when 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:51.920 Laura got shot right in the head because we missed 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:55.720 a spot when we bulletproof the facade. She's dead. She 0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:58.440 had natural red hair, but she always died at Redder 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:01.080 And her favorite show is by for the Vampire Slayer. 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:03.600 And she liked to drink water out of long stem glasses. 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:07.839 She was I think she was thirty seven, way past 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:13.120 rafting age. She volunteered. It was her first engagement. She 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:16.200 was only there because she loved books, had plenty of 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:18.280 time to avoid looking at her corpse while she was 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.120 in there with us dead. Dwight was another one of 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:23.240 my friends in the unit, one of my favorite people, 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:25.920 hands down, total weirdo, and he was all obsessed with 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.839 that Viking ship and Dark ages in general. Both his 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:31.080 parents had come over from Sweden, though his dad was 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.720 originally from Nigeria. Dwight had one degree in medieval studies 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.200 in another African history, and I can't tell you how 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:39.719 many times during basic he'd run down the details of 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.720 this or that ancient battle, whether in Europe or Africa. 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:45.360 If there were guns involved, he didn't care about it, 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.920 but if there were swords in armor or spears and shields, 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:50.920 he was all in. He started talking to the Vikings 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:53.439 first thing. He was the first person to believe them, 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.600 to to really believe them, and his faith was contagious. 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:00.520 While we were pinned down, he asked them everything. Mostly 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:03.760 they were quiet, even taciturn, but there was one thing 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:07.080 they were very insistent on, and that I overheard them 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:11.600 talking about Nazis don't go to Valhalla. But why not? 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:14.559 Dwight asked, It takes two things to go to Valhalla. 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.240 The spokesperson said, you have to die in battle, and 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:20.200 you have to venerate Odin. A bunch of those fuckers 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:24.360 are Odiness, he said, no, they aren't. They're nationalist, fascists, 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.960 racial separatists are all kinds of things, but they don't 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:31.080 venerate Odin. Whatever they think, What do you mean? They 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.920 only know one half of Odin. They know the masculine side, 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:38.440 the heterosexual side, the Christian side. They worship a bastardization 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:41.240 of our God, a bastardization first created by a nationalist 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:44.760 Christian eight hundred years ago that's only gotten further afield 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:48.720 since our Odin practices women's magic, the magic of these 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:52.640 sexually penetrated. We also worship female gods of war, and 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:54.800 male gods of the hearth, and gods who change their 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:58.720 gender when they're board. Nazis don't understand that any of it. 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.680 In life, we aided, sometimes traded. Other times we also 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.640 did all sorts of things that won't fit your modern sensibilities, 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:08.480 things that were I alive. You might kill me for 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:11.800 but we're not Nazis, and people who worship a Christian 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:15.240 version of our God most certainly do not go to Valhalla. 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:18.600 It was as if the man had used up every 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:21.040 word allotted to him for the day, because I don't 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:23.760 believe one of them spoke again before the battle began 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:29.320 in earnest And how long was that another hour? Maybe 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:31.840 the sun was still right overhead when the White Army 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:35.480 rushed us. It was a bullshit move, rushing us one 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.120 part over confidence in one part desperation. If you can 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:41.040 imagine that they knew they were losing the war at 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.440 that point, but they had us more than two to one, 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:46.240 and we all know that KKK commanders don't give two 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:49.160 ships about the lives of their men. That's when I 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.680 put a bullet on a man's leg while he was 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.640 in the street running. It was a good shot. He 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:57.560 was running, and I led the target and everything. I've 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.440 been aiming for center body mass, but but still at 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:02.800 least a hundred yards against a moving target. I was 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.240 proud of that shot at the time on a technical level, 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:07.280 even if I'm not sure I'm proud of it any 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.600 more now that I know the man's name. We expected 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.240 the charge. What we didn't expect was the ordinance that 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.600 knocked the reinforced front off its hinges. But that happened, 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:18.520 and almost all the fighting happened right there on the 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:21.800 first floor among the empty shelves. The whole thing felt 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.680 like it lasted half an hour. I've looked it up since. 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:26.960 From the time of the first blast at the time 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:29.880 the last shot was fired, we're talking about three minutes. 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:33.520 In twelve seconds, we thought they were going to pour 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:35.760 in through the door after they blew at the funk off. 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.600 So James got in there with our one functioning automatic 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:40.200 and he took at least ten of the fash down 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:43.080 with him before someone got him in the neck. It 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:44.600 was a faint and they blew a hole in the 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:47.040 side of the building while well that was going on, 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:49.800 and that's where they got in close quarters combat. As 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.960 a whole different beast, a worse one, maybe maybe a 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:55.920 better one. I go back on forth on that sometimes 0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:58.640 instead of sleeping, I think about the pros and cons 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:01.360 of various types of absolute are Is it better to 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:03.520 see your death coming or to get picked off without 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.359 knowing it. I would have thought the Vikings would expend 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:10.480 themselves right off I mean Vikings. They were starting to 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:13.200 sober up by that point, but still they'd been drinking, 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:16.040 and they were already dead, and they were doomed to die. 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:19.600 But they were smarter than that. Never risked themselves unnecessarily. 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.840 Your next assumption of a comrade you know is doomed 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.919 is that they'll sacrifice themselves to save others. None of 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.640 that either. They knew they were the best trained soldiers 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:31.120 on the field, and that in order for us to win, 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:32.919 they had to be in the fight as long as 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:36.520 they could. They were smart like that. Assholes like that. 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:40.119 I stationed myself in the back. I fancy myself more 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:42.600 of a sniper than the assault sort, so I watched 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:45.280 the whole thing go down. I also only hit three 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.959 targets out of a hundred and seventeen bullets I fired, 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:52.040 But that's another story. I watched us win. We took 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.680 casualties of fifty half of those were k I A. 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:58.399 But we defeated a force twice our strength. I watched 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:01.520 the in hangar bayonet in and shoot them, and I 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:03.640 saw one of the Viking women break a man's face 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:07.040 apart with her fists. Soon after, a bullet found her 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:09.119 heart and she collapsed with a smile on her lips. 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:13.600 She disappeared like literally she phased out of existence, being 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:16.800 me up Scotty. We pushed them back onto the pavement, 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:19.160 And when I say we, I'm honestly not being fair 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:21.600 because I didn't do much of it myself. We had 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:25.760 them scattered and running, most of them. Dwight was out there, 0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:28.359 waving a pistol in one hand and swinging a wooden 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:31.240 stock rifle like a club in the other. A Viking 0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:34.000 with a shotgun stood beside him. I think the same 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:36.520 fashy little ship killed them both, maybe in the same 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:39.600 three round burst. I tagged the fashion in his belly, 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:41.560 and his friends helped him get away, and the remaining 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:45.280 Nazis ran. He survived his wound. Why do we have 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.679 so much information about the war? Does it do me 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:50.159 any good to know who I killed and who I didn't? 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:55.720 And Dwight. Dwight lay alone in the concrete, face down. 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:58.959 There wasn't much blood, but he was dead. Two ravens 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:01.720 sat atop him, one on each shoulder. I've never seen 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:04.480 a raven in Asheville in my life, not before, not since. 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:07.360 There were two of them, as big as people say 0:19:07.359 --> 0:19:10.760 those things are. They barked, and they sounded like dogs. 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:13.919 One was loud, like it was right where I was. 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:18.000 The other was distant, echoing. Then they flew away, directly 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:20.480 up and towards the sun, and I tried to watch 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:22.440 to see where they went, but you can't look directly 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.040 at the sun like that. I looked back down and 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:28.480 Dwight was gone. Okay, so his body was still there, 0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:31.280 but there was there was something about him that was gone, 0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:32.840 and I don't know how to tell you what it was. 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:37.480 That that was that we won sort of. They didn't 0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:40.720 storm the library, which I guess means we won. But 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:43.200 sometimes I think I'd burn every single book in that place. 0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:45.080 It would bring back Lord or Dwight or any of 0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:47.800 the rest of my friends. The war was over at 0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:49.879 that point, even if we didn't know it yet. So 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:53.200 what did they die for? I guess for symbols. Maybe 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:57.520 symbols matter that much. I don't know. I deserted after that, 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.439 half the survivors of the Battle of Asheville less than 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:03.120 a week later up in Pittsburgh, and I suppose I'd 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:05.480 be dead if I had gone, And it probably makes 0:20:05.480 --> 0:20:07.919 me a coward that I didn't It's not that I 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:10.439 was afraid of dying. It's that I was afraid of 0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:14.400 dying in battle because I believe in Odin Now it's 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.240 hard not to believe in a god without venerating him. 0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:19.720 I don't want to go to Valhalla. I don't want 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:22.880 to fight ever again, let alone every night. I don't 0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:24.359 want to serve with the iron and yard at the 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:27.760 twilight of the gods sometime in the century. If I 0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:29.600 don't want to do that, then I don't want to 0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:33.919 die in battle. Dwight, though I expect he's happy. I 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:36.040 expect he dies every day with a smile on his 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:39.199 lips and meat and his belly. He won't have to 0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:42.320 fight alongside the monsters of the human race either, because, 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:55.760 as I learned in Nashville, Nazis don't go to Valhalla. 0:20:56.200 --> 0:21:02.720 All right, that was awesome, markret thing you Yeah, thanks. 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:07.879 D'll put a bunch of applause noise here because translating 0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:12.320 over yeah and and and and uh an air horn 0:21:12.840 --> 0:21:17.480