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Speaker 1: Hey, man, what's your name?

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Speaker 2: I prefer you call me the Buddha or.

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Speaker 1: Buddha Buddha, the famous guy from that religion. What's going on?

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Speaker 2: Well, I've been doing uh, quite a bit of nicrosocifide

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Speaker 2: the last few months, and you know, I thought, I thought,

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Speaker 2: I should, you know, stop and you know, for because

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Speaker 2: it's really not that great for you or whatever. But

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Speaker 2: and it's expensive as well. But you know, and I

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Speaker 2: was kind of scared because I was having these weird

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Speaker 2: illucinations and stuff, and I, uh, but I just kept

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Speaker 2: doing it because it feels really good.

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Speaker 3: And then.

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Speaker 2: I I just like kept pushing myself that limit where

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Speaker 2: I was having these complete dysphoric hallucinations, and I sort

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Speaker 2: of realized that, you know, there was like a deeper

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Speaker 2: meaning to it and that I was basically when I

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Speaker 2: was doing that, I was like essentially like destroying my ego.

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Speaker 2: Like I wasn't even a part of my own reality

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Speaker 2: and my own body.

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Speaker 1: Uh that's now nitros. That's like the balloon ship, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a gas. Yeah, you fill up balloons with it.

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Speaker 1: What kinds of things were you hallucinating?

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Speaker 2: All sorts of things. I was like shifting into other

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Speaker 2: entities and being like godlike figures and demonic figures, and

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Speaker 2: seeing like the speed of time and crease and decrease

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Speaker 2: and drink and very small sizes and grow very large

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Speaker 2: and become like part of the universe, and she starts

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Speaker 2: being born all sart the crazy. So anyways, I was

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Speaker 2: seeing all this stuff, and I was really afraid of

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Speaker 2: it at first, and then you know, I kind of

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Speaker 2: realized what I was seeing was, you know, that my

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Speaker 2: ego was basically like leaving my body temporarily, and I

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Speaker 2: don't know, I feel like it's like almost like changing

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Speaker 2: my life because I've had like all these perspective shifts

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Speaker 2: and like, you know, I call myself Buddha because that's

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Speaker 2: what people of that religion or that lifestyle they that's

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Speaker 2: what they believe, that that we're not just our body,

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Speaker 2: were a part of everything essentially. And I've been doing

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Speaker 2: all these things I never thought I could do, Like

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Speaker 2: started working out, started painting, I built a bow out

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Speaker 2: of a stick in the woods. I I I'm learning Spanish,

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Speaker 2: all sorts of crazy shit.

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Speaker 1: These are all things you're doing because you became addicted

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Speaker 1: to the nitrosoxide.

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Speaker 2: Well not really, because of the addiction to the nitrosox side,

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Speaker 2: but because of the visions I had from it.

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Speaker 1: You know, what was it about the visions that you

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Speaker 1: had that caused you to do all these productive things?

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Speaker 2: Well, basically I never thought that my mind was capable

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Speaker 2: of producing those kinds of things, you know, Like the

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Speaker 2: things I saw were incredible, Like, I never I never

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Speaker 2: thought it was possible from my mind to like imagine

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Speaker 2: those things basically, So I sort of realized that, you know,

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Speaker 2: my potential is really like limitless.

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Speaker 1: So have you stopped doing nitrosoxide or are you still

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Speaker 1: doing it a lot? Hmmm?

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't say a lot. I do it maybe once week.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like, do you feel like you have

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Speaker 1: it under control?

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Speaker 2: M I mean it's a matter of perspective, I guess,

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Speaker 2: you know, like some people think it's not really under

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Speaker 2: control if you're.

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Speaker 1: Doing it at all, Right, Yeah, I think so. I

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Speaker 1: think that that's the way you could look at it.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to stop doing nitrous oxide?

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Speaker 2: I think I just I would like to try to

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Speaker 2: find a way to reach that level of enlightenment without it.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've always really felt like, you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna probably get some heat for this, but whatever, I

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Speaker 1: always have felt like, you, really, you don't need to

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Speaker 1: go to Peru and do ayahuasca or take a shit

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Speaker 1: ton of mushrooms or an acid or do a bunch

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Speaker 1: of nrous oxide to like have epiphanies that help you

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Speaker 1: improve your life. I don't think that that's necessary. It's

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Speaker 1: and it's unfortunate, right, Like I really, the few times

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Speaker 1: I've done mushrooms, I really want, like I wanted so

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Speaker 1: badly for there to be a thing I could eat

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Speaker 1: that would improve my life. And it's just not true.

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Speaker 1: The only thing that actually improves my life is like

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Speaker 1: fucking doing shit, you know what I mean? Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I guess I guess that like nitrous oxide and acid

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Speaker 1: and I watch whatever these things. I guess these things

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Speaker 1: can be like catalysts that inspire you to do shit

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Speaker 1: to change your life. But at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: they don't actually do anything for you. It's the actual

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Speaker 1: things that you're doing, the learning Spanish, the fucking all

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Speaker 1: the other thing things you said that are actually improving

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Speaker 1: your life. And then those things have nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with the nitrous oxide. They're just you making decisions to

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Speaker 1: make your life better.

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Speaker 2: Right, But I feel like when I shattered my ego

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Speaker 2: like that, it's easier to make decisions like that.

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Speaker 1: So if your ego is shattered already, why do you feel.

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Speaker 2: Like it's only shattered in those moments? And then, well,

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Speaker 2: if I can literally see see my perspective of reality

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Speaker 2: shifting back into focus, what.

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Speaker 1: Do you mean by it's only shattered in those moments?

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean those visions only last like maybe five

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Speaker 2: seconds at most.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't sound particularly helpful.

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Speaker 4: Mmmm.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean it's hard to explain. Really, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's I feel like the visions are kind of like

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Speaker 2: are shattering in a way because they removed my entire consciousness.

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Speaker 1: You know, have you ever spoken to a real therapist

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Speaker 1: about any of this?

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Speaker 2: No, I'm trying to I basically, I I you know,

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Speaker 2: I was trying to get one, but I called a

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Speaker 2: couple of months ago and they said they would reach

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Speaker 2: back to me when one was available, and I still haven't.

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Speaker 1: I mean, look, man, I think it's great that you're

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Speaker 1: doing things to improve your life, and I, for whatever

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Speaker 1: it's worth, I really don't think that you need to.

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Speaker 1: You know, the nitrous oxide was necessarily a part of it.

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Speaker 1: It's like I'm trying to think of crap. I can't

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Speaker 1: think of an example. But there's like all these cartoons

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Speaker 1: that I can think of, where like, you know, someone

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Speaker 1: gets like a magical power and it inspires them to

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Speaker 1: like go save the day. You don't I'm fucking talking about.

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Speaker 1: But then but then at the end of it's revealed

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Speaker 1: that they actually never had any magical power. It was

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Speaker 1: all just a placebo, and it was actually them themselves

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Speaker 1: who saved the day all of their own volition. You know,

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Speaker 1: that's you with nitrous oxide, right, Like you're the one

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Speaker 1: who's doing all these things to protect it, to improve

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Speaker 1: your life. You're the one. It's not it's And you

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Speaker 1: can go on Reddit and you can type a whole

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Speaker 1: trip report about how all the you know, you took

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Speaker 1: acid and it made you clean your room, but at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, you cleaned your room. Right,

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Speaker 1: it's not this. I don't don't attribute it to the drug.

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Speaker 1: It was you who did it, and it is you

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Speaker 1: who can continue to do it.

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Speaker 2: Sure, I just feel like, you know, without it, it's

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Speaker 2: hard for me to have that kind of clarity, especially

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Speaker 2: I would say, I mean, this is probably just an excuse,

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Speaker 2: but my whole life. I have what I would consider

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Speaker 2: to be like very extreme ADHD that manifests in the mind,

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Speaker 2: so it's very hard to control my thoughts, you know,

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Speaker 2: have that impulse control.

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Speaker 1: Brother, If if if I were you, and I really

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Speaker 1: a man, if I were you, man I would really

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Speaker 1: go out in search of like legitimate professional ways to

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Speaker 1: manage your ADHD instead of self medicating with nitrous oxide.

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Speaker 1: You know that that can help me. You know, there's

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Speaker 1: there's better ways to manage this. This is what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, but you know I took all those drugs

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Speaker 2: when I was a kid and they didn't really help.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I can't. I I can't give you anything more than that, man,

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Speaker 1: I really, I really can't. I think you gotta like

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Speaker 1: like you gotta you and at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: man like you gotta you gotta want to stop doing this,

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Speaker 1: you know, And if you don't, then there's nothing I

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Speaker 1: can say to you that'll make you stop. But if

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Speaker 1: if you want to, then you should go, you know,

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Speaker 1: talk to a professional about how you can manage your

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Speaker 1: ADHD in a way that's not going to like kill you.

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Speaker 1: But give yourself some credit for the self improvement that

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Speaker 1: you've done on yourself thus far. Don't don't hand it

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Speaker 1: over to the nitrosoxs head. The nitrosox side didn't fucking

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Speaker 1: do anything for you. It was all you who did

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Speaker 1: all the various things in your life that are causing

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Speaker 1: you to improve. And I think it will continue to

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Speaker 1: be you who does that. But what the fuck do

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Speaker 1: I know? I'm a crazy person in a gecko who

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Speaker 1: accidentally started a self help show.

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Speaker 2: Can I tell you why I like your show?

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Speaker 1: Sure?

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Speaker 2: Well? I think the lizard costume is is very good

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Speaker 2: because the therapist is supposed to be non judgmental, and

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Speaker 2: how can you be judgmental when your dress is a

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Speaker 2: get go.

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: I guess that's true. I guess that's true. What's your

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Speaker 1: name again?

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Speaker 2: A Buddha?

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Speaker 1: Budh? Is there anything else you want to say to

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Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 2: No, thank you very much, Lyle. I appreciate your call

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Speaker 2: it very much and the opportunity to talk to you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Buddha, good luck, and Jesus Christ, stop doing

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Speaker 1: so much nicsrous oxide.

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Speaker 2: All right, have a good one there, Bye bye bye.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I don't know if that was helpful,

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Speaker 1: or if that was judgmental or I don't know about

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Speaker 1: any of this should I just I don't know what

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Speaker 1: I who want I to tell that guy to stop

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Speaker 1: doing so much nitrous oxide. You can stop doing so

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Speaker 1: much nitrous oxide when I stopped eating fucking cosmic brownies

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Speaker 1: and jacking off and smoking weed all day. So, but

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Speaker 1: that didn't that didn't do anything for me. I don't

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Speaker 1: think it did. I don't think that jacking off and

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Speaker 1: smoking weed, eating cosmic brownies all day improved my life

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Speaker 1: in any way, shape or form. I don't think that

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Speaker 1: him doing nitrous oxide improved his life in any way,

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Speaker 1: shape or form. And I believe both of us would

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Speaker 1: probably be happier if we didn't do those things. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know anything, dude, I'm freaking

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Speaker 1: out over here. I don't I just don't know. But

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to know stuff and things. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Hello?

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Speaker 1: Hey what's up? Hey?

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Speaker 5: How's it going? Hyle?

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Speaker 1: It's going okay, man, it's going okay. How can I

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Speaker 1: get you to the sir?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: So, I'm not sure if you read the message that

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Speaker 5: I that I put on there, But I used to

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Speaker 5: work at it. Well, I had multiple things, but you know,

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Speaker 5: I've been hearing a bunch of stuff and I'm like,

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Speaker 5: you know what, let's make it funny today. Is that

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Speaker 5: all right with you?

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Speaker 1: Go ahead?

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Speaker 5: So I used to work at a Papa John's. I

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Speaker 5: want to say about maybe three I know it's been

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Speaker 5: longer than that, actually, probably like six or seven years ago.

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Speaker 5: And it was fine, you know, nothing out of the ordinary,

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Speaker 5: la la okay, first customers an asshole. Well okay, I'll

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Speaker 5: let that one's live, because you know, customer service when

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Speaker 5: it comes to delivering peaches, you know, it's not necessarily

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Speaker 5: all that glorious. But you know, three, four, five, six

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Speaker 5: times I had enough of these people because it's in

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Speaker 5: a college town, right, So I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 5: probably never going to see these people ever again, So

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Speaker 5: I'm just going to violate their pieces. What I mean

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Speaker 5: by that, my best friend told me not to tell it,

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Speaker 5: but I want to say it anyways. So I violated

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Speaker 5: their pieces in a way to where I dun'k my

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Speaker 5: nuts on them. And I gave that special sauce before

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Speaker 5: keyword special sauce. But it wasn't to anybody who was

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Speaker 5: kind to me because it was basically to where it

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Speaker 5: was rated if you're nice to us, if you tipped well,

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Speaker 5: but that didn't necessarily factor in. It just added points.

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Speaker 5: But if it was an individual to where they basically

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Speaker 5: mistreated us, you know, demanded their every last cent then

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Speaker 5: or just be an absolute dick, then yeah, I would

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Speaker 5: do that. And my body saw me one time and

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Speaker 5: he's like, are you kidding me? I'm like, I'll give

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Speaker 5: you fifty bucks not to say anything. So I actually

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Speaker 5: gave him one hundred because he moved out from up

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Speaker 5: nore to actually work with me, and he was an

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Speaker 5: online friend at the time, but I met him in

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Speaker 5: real life and it was amazing.

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Speaker 1: So how much would someone have had to tip you

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Speaker 1: for you to not wipe your balls on their pizza?

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Speaker 5: I would have to say, like maybe one dollar, but

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Speaker 5: it's more like the principle of the matter, I would

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Speaker 5: I would say, you know, it would fact like if

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Speaker 5: it's like one dollar, then he would equal like ten

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Speaker 5: points for you, you know, within my system, or if

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Speaker 5: even like a penny, but to ask for exact chance

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Speaker 5: and a manner's like, oh well, I need to have

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Speaker 5: my exact change now, or something like that, and I'm like, sir,

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Speaker 5: I apologize, but unfortunately I do not have that. I

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Speaker 5: need to go to the stores like, oh, you better

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Speaker 5: do it and give me a free beat that. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: you're getting her. You're getting your dunk nut pizza for sure,

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Speaker 5: with extra special sauce.

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Speaker 1: Over the entire time that you worked at that Papa Johns.

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Speaker 1: How long did you work at the Papa Johns?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 5: Approximately between five to eight months.

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Speaker 1: So over the time that you worked at the Papa Johns,

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Speaker 1: how many pizzas do you believe that you dunked your

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Speaker 1: nuts on slash came onto.

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Speaker 5: I would have to say an undeterminable amount.

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Speaker 1: Because get go that estimate. Give me and give me

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Speaker 1: a range.

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Speaker 5: All right, Let's say between fifty to about sixty five.

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Speaker 1: You wiped your nuts on fifty pizzas.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 5: I was a delivery driver as well, so I had

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Speaker 5: ample time to do it. An I'll just say this much.

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Speaker 5: Anybody could do anything to your pizzas, So it all

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Speaker 5: according to how you treat somebody, or somebody could just

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Speaker 5: be having a bad day. At least I had a

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Speaker 5: reason to my matteness, so to speak.

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Speaker 1: You're like a fucking batman villain except Jesus on pizza.

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Speaker 5: Well, thank you, I guess you can call me mister Freeze.

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Speaker 1: None of what either of us just said made any

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Speaker 1: sense but.

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Speaker 5: Correct.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So what kinds of things would people like? When

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Speaker 1: you say people mistreated you, what would they do like what?

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Speaker 1: I'm very curious. What's the most mild form of mistreatment

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00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 1: that you received that you responded to by jezzing on

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Speaker 1: their pizza?

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00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,960
Speaker 5: Well, it wouldn't be to you know, the mild version

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00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 5: to be like to an extreme. You know, if somebody's

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00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,639
Speaker 5: having a bad day, you know, I would try to,

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Speaker 5: you know, give a quick talk to because I'm not

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Speaker 5: a horrible person, contrary to what everybody has heard, but

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Speaker 5: you know, somebody's going through bad time, I would try

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Speaker 5: to pay for their pizza, so to speak, because you

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Speaker 5: can tell in somebody's eyes that they were going through something.

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Speaker 5: And some people, you know, I've heard other callers say that, yeah,

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Speaker 5: they just needed somebody to talk to, and you know

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Speaker 5: I was that person. But as far as would going

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Speaker 5: to that extreme for what I've done, that's only for

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Speaker 5: extreme measures. It wouldn't be anything mild like oh, you

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Speaker 5: know you took so long and blah, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, that's fine because I've been there, you know.

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Speaker 1: So well. Okay, but but but you said fifty pizzas.

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Speaker 1: I mean that means at least fifty individual people pissed

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Speaker 1: you off so much much that you jiz on their pizza.

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Speaker 1: What did fifty people? What do these fifty people do

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Speaker 1: to you that you felt was so deserving of them

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Speaker 1: fucking eating your comb?

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Speaker 5: Well, the fact that not only I mean to give

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00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,199
Speaker 5: that number, it's a college town and a lot of

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00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 5: people love to drink around that area, and there was

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00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:28,480
Speaker 5: just something that were belligerent, you know, silver Spoon and

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Speaker 5: Mouth and titled Bridge Hansels or the Karen that really

315
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,119
Speaker 5: has been drinking has been undergoing a bunch of stress

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Speaker 5: and taking it out on somebody else. I have a limit,

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Speaker 5: but it's like far enough to where they've called supervisors,

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Speaker 5: threatened violence on me and the store. I mean, heck,

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Speaker 5: we had one sister property have one individual get robbed

320
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Speaker 5: and shot in the head because of how severe the

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00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 5: situation was, and he was on his way to deliver

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Speaker 5: a pizza. He was at a stop light apparently, and

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Speaker 5: at all went down.

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Speaker 1: Do you regret doing any of this seven years later, on.

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00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:17,640
Speaker 5: A logical yes, on a psychological no, not at all.

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Speaker 5: They deserve it, and I serve them with a smile.

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Speaker 1: Right after, what do you do with your life? Now?

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Speaker 1: Where is the pizza masturbator? Seven years later?

329
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Speaker 2: Sorry?

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Speaker 5: Just the way you said that was beautiful. Right now

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Speaker 5: I am dealing with well, right now, I'll just say this.

332
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 5: I work at a collision center, but I am dealing

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00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 5: with a knee issue that has prevented me from working.

334
00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 5: I'm going through lawyers in regards to the injury because

335
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 5: the company or the UH insurance adjusture doesn't want to

336
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 5: pay for it.

337
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:15,880
Speaker 1: So are you still? I mean to get all right,

338
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: if we can get into this for a second, I mean, yeah, look,

339
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 1: chising on people's pizzas is really fucked up. He's really

340
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 1: fucked up. What do you are you? I can't. I

341
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 1: don't even do you? Do you still do fucked up

342
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 1: ship like that?

343
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 4: No?

344
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 5: Not at all. Actually, I've been more tame since I've

345
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 5: been married. It's calmed me down a lot. I used

346
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 5: to be more crazier.

347
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 1: You're how long have you been married for?

348
00:21:55,640 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 5: I've been married. Let's see. I think it's about to

349
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,919
Speaker 5: going on two years now, does she know that.

350
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 1: You used toges on people's pizzas?

351
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, my best friend, uh basically confirmed it and

352
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 5: I told her about it. She said, that fucked up.

353
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 5: Why would you do that? The simple answer is because

354
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 5: people are answered.

355
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,639
Speaker 1: You still really haven't answered my question to the degree

356
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 1: that I feel satisfied with, which is, what did these

357
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 1: people fucking do to make you on a jiz on

358
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 1: their pizza? Like you like, I mean, give me a

359
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 1: specific scenario or a story like so far, you're just

360
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 1: you just give me general answers to this question, all right.

361
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 5: So one specific answer would be I go to somebody's house.

362
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 5: It's in the it's in the backwoods right of the

363
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 5: town that I lived in, and it was hard to

364
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 5: get there to begin with because it's all rockey and

365
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 5: the car that I had at the time was kind

366
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 5: of a It wasn't the best in the world, but

367
00:22:55,680 --> 00:23:00,160
Speaker 5: it was you know, motor transportation. Go knocking on their door.

368
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 5: They have this scowl look that just made you want

369
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 5: to go, oh god, why, And.

370
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 1: You know you can't get You can't jiz on someone's

371
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,440
Speaker 1: pizza because they look.

372
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 5: Mean, no, no, no, I understand that, but that's why

373
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 5: I'm getting to that point. So they basically just after

374
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 5: I opened the door, they opened the door. They just

375
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 5: start yelling at me like.

376
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,120
Speaker 3: Why the fuck do you say?

377
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 5: So there's a lot of explosives.

378
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 3: Why the fuck did you take some goddamn long, motherfucker?

379
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 3: I swear to God, I should shoot you right in

380
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 3: the fucking throat right now. I'm like, whoa, whoa, Okay,

381
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 3: I'm sorry that it took this or you.

382
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 5: Know it took so long. There is this this this

383
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:45,439
Speaker 5: going on.

384
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 3: That I don't give a fuck as I should beat

385
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: you up and have like piples brick your throat out

386
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 3: right now. I don't give a fuck. I want a

387
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 3: goddamn refund. I want this, I want that.

388
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 5: And I'm like, oh, yeah, you're getting your.

389
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 3: Ship just on.

390
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: So wit a minute, So how did okay, but if

391
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: you were already at the door with the pizza, how

392
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 1: did you then jizz on the pizza? So were you were? You?

393
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 6: Like?

394
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: Hold on, I have more, I have a coupon in

395
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: my car. I'll be right back. Well.

396
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 5: He tried to de escalate the situation by saying, you know,

397
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,679
Speaker 5: I can see I can talk to my manager and

398
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 5: see you know, since you're very displeased, if you would like,

399
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 5: you know, to have a refunded in any way, shape

400
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 5: or form, or get in contact with them so we

401
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 5: can do said, yeah, I want to do that, and

402
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 5: you better send that pizza back and have somebody else

403
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 5: deliver it. And my they actually called the store and

404
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 5: my manager was there on site and he said, hey,

405
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 5: just give me the pizza that you have right now,

406
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,959
Speaker 5: just take this one. Everything's you know, been you know,

407
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 5: taken care of. Just go ahead deliver it. Because I

408
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 5: don't have any other drivers at that time, and it

409
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 5: took me in a proxy, it could take me about like,

410
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 5: you know, ten fifteen minutes. I took an extra like

411
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 5: three to.

412
00:24:59,760 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 6: You.

413
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 5: I had the mister free sauce. And afterwards they're like, what's.

414
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 2: About the time, Yeah, you got.

415
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 3: Here later than normal? What the fuck?

416
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 5: I'm like, I apologize. I hope you have a great

417
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 5: rest of your day. Whatever you go through, I hope

418
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 5: you were able to deal with it better than I could.

419
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,959
Speaker 5: You have a great day. And I just got in

420
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 5: the car, went down the road, had a smile on

421
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 5: my face and like, yeah, I'm enjoyed the extra happy

422
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:25,360
Speaker 5: sauce too.

423
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: You got to stop with the cute names for the sauce. Yeah, uh,

424
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: Jesus christ Man.

425
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 5: I was a very fucked up individual and I realized that,

426
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 5: and that's why I'm like, wow, I definitely need to stop,

427
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 5: which I haven't done anything like that ever since.

428
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I guess that's good.

429
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 5: Changed my personality though, But I and now do I

430
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 5: talk about it more? Yes, I do regret it for

431
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 5: a simple fact that it's not only health code violation

432
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:14,120
Speaker 5: but other things as well. And and I haven't been caught,

433
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 5: but I still feel remorse, you know, years later, contrary

434
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 5: to what I said earlier.

435
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's such a one from what you said earlier.

436
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, right, It's like, I guess you have

437
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 5: to talk about I suppose to actually realize what you

438
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 5: what you've done. I mean, my best friend even said, like, dude,

439
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,040
Speaker 5: that's fucked and he was there with me during that time.

440
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 5: You know, he didn't stop me or anything. I guess

441
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 5: he's just as much of a villain than I am,

442
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 5: by uh association, since he knew. But I'm not going

443
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 5: to drag him into this though.

444
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: That's I I don't know, do you do you still

445
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: order from Papa John's.

446
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 5: Excuse me.

447
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

448
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 5: Actually the only reason why because I actually tipped the

449
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 5: individual as well. It's like, depending on what my word is,

450
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 5: I tiped between ten to twenty dollars.

451
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: I still can't, I really still can't get over the

452
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: fact that you said fifty because if you were just

453
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: here's here's I mean, there's a lot of things about

454
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: this that are disturbing, but here's the big thing is

455
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:34,400
Speaker 1: to me, like, if you've told me if this was like, Okay,

456
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: this person was such a fucking cunt and they were

457
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 1: horrible and I justed on their pizza, I'd be like,

458
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,399
Speaker 1: that's pretty fucked up. But I mean you're telling me,

459
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: you're telling me this happened fifty to sixty five times, Like,

460
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 1: are there, like there were really fifty people that were

461
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: that much of an asshole to you?

462
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 5: Yes? For to prove that if you know anything about

463
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 5: uh Georgia in the central of Georgia, Yes.

464
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: Okay, I have a way that you can redeem yourself.

465
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 5: Pray to the almighty gek uh No, I.

466
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:24,440
Speaker 1: Don't give a ship, well, don't uh you. I think

467
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: I think what you can do is you can jizz

468
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: on a slice of pizza. No, call your friends and

469
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: have him jizz on a slice of pizza and then

470
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 1: eat it.

471
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 5: Oh I can, I'll be COOKII with people. Okay, you

472
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 5: know what, gig. If that's what it takes by your eyes,

473
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 5: then the guck has spoken.

474
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: I don't like how serious you took. I'm I'm done

475
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: with this. Is there anything else you want to say

476
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: to the people of the computer before we go?

477
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, don't do what I did? Uh, and just be

478
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 5: kind to your fellow human beings contrary.

479
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 1: To all right? All right, okay, bye, thanks for calling.

480
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 5: Thank you gay.

481
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 1: That was that was disturbing. Hello.

482
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: Hello, what is your name?

483
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 6: My name is Kai.

484
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: How can I get you today? Kai? What's going on?

485
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 4: So?

486
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 6: My life has kind of felt like a matter of

487
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 6: setbacks recently, and I'm just like questioning things and I

488
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 6: feel like just talking about it may make me feel

489
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 6: a little better.

490
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 1: Okay, where do you want to start?

491
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 6: I guess we'll start with like the beginning of the

492
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 6: year my dad passed away.

493
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to hear that, and thank you.

494
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 6: It really threw me out of whack. I will say

495
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 6: I wasn't super close with my dad, but it hit

496
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 6: me a lot harder than I thought I was going

497
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 6: to be affected by it. And at the time I

498
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 6: was in school, it was supposed to be graduating, and

499
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 6: with his passing, I ended up having to put a

500
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 6: pause on classes. So I ended up delaying my graduation

501
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 6: to this fall. And on top of that, I got

502
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 6: into a car accident like two months afterwards. So I

503
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 6: just I feel like I'm in a matter of setback,

504
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 6: and I just I don't know what to do going forward.

505
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 6: Like I want to finish college. I know that, but

506
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 6: just going forward with life just seems hard because every

507
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 6: time it's like two steps forward, one step back, and

508
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,959
Speaker 6: I don't really know how to change my luck. I

509
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 6: know there's things out of my control, but there's also

510
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 6: things in my control that I can change.

511
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 4: You know.

512
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 1: Can I ask how old you are?

513
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 6: I am twenty four?

514
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 1: Okay, Well I'm curious what do you What are you

515
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 1: in college for? What do you like? If you were

516
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: to finish college, what would it be in the field.

517
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 6: I would have gotten my BS in biology and my

518
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 6: PA in anthropology.

519
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: Okay? Are those things that excite you and interest to

520
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: you that you want to do one?

521
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 6: I was actually lined up to go to grad school,

522
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 6: but because I delayed my graduation. I got pulled away

523
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 6: from that grad school.

524
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you want to do? Like what I

525
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: normally I guess what kind of jobs are the uh

526
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 1: or at the end of those fields? Okay, I graduate me.

527
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,719
Speaker 6: It would be something doing medical stuff. But I'm at

528
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,479
Speaker 6: a point in my life where I feel like I

529
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 6: need to re evaluate and I don't want to disappoint people.

530
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 6: But I'm also thinking like maybe I don't do grad

531
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 6: school and just kind of work on starting my own

532
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 6: business like I want to.

533
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: Oh, Okay, you said a bunch of interesting things. Just now,

534
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 1: let's hold on to them. You said, I want to

535
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: start my own business like I've always wanted to do.

536
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 1: You said I don't want to disappoint people, and you

537
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: said you want to reevaluate your life. So I want to.

538
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: I want to. I want Let's hold on to all

539
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 1: three of those. Uh what do you what about your life?

540
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 1: Are you reevaluating.

541
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 6: The pathway that I'm taking to get to my end goal?

542
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 6: So I'll kind of explain my end goal, kind of

543
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 6: going back to the business idea. I really like reptiles

544
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 6: and I want to have a tortoise ranch, and I

545
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 6: know that it sounds really crazy, but I want to

546
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 6: work in conservation and just educating people on reptiles.

547
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: Hold on, I thought the turtles were amphibians.

548
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 6: No, they're reptiles.

549
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 1: Okay, I didn't know that for a reptile. I know

550
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 1: very little about reptiles.

551
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 6: It's okay, it happens the best of us.

552
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 1: That sounds beautiful. I love that idea. That's great, that

553
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: sounds cool. And I'm not even saying that because I'm biased.

554
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: But all right, so who are you afraid of disappointing?

555
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: And how would you disappoint them?

556
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 6: Specifically, my aunt, She's not blood related to me, but

557
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 6: she's the closest relative that I have. She and her

558
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 6: mom very much want to see me graduate from grad

559
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 6: school because I've talked about, like probably since I was little,

560
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 6: wanting to go into.

561
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: Okay, let me stop you right there. Not that this

562
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: is that important, but it's a little important. Have they

563
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: have they funded your college experience at all? Your mom

564
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: and your aunts.

565
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 6: Not directly. Sometimes they would give me like supplies and stuff,

566
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 6: not like textbooks or anything, just like, but but you're you.

567
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 1: You're the one who's taking on the loans. It's not

568
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 1: like because because look, I want to say, like I

569
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: want to say, if your I want to say, if

570
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: your family is like giving you a buck, like they

571
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 1: gave you a bunch of money to go and you're like,

572
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 1: I want to drop out. I understand that stress, but

573
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:44,359
Speaker 1: this is like your art. I'm sorry I completely cut

574
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 1: you off while you were talking. But did you so

575
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,240
Speaker 1: you took out the loans to go to school?

576
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 4: Yep?

577
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 6: I've been putting myself through school since I started.

578
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,959
Speaker 1: My friend, you should do whatever the fuck you want

579
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 1: to do, if that's the case. I, by the way,

580
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: I would say that even if that wasn't the case.

581
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 1: I think it's a little bit harder if that's not

582
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: the case. But like, so, what if your aunt and

583
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 1: your mom want you to do something because you were

584
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: talking about doing it since you were a little I

585
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: frankly think that's a horrible reason to do something.

586
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 6: Yeah, it kind of is. But I have disappointment issues

587
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 6: in the sense that, like, I feel bad making people

588
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 6: feel bad, and I know her aunt.

589
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can't. Yeah, but but but you you

590
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 1: really really can't live your life that way. You really can't.

591
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: You're going to actually drive yourself to insanity if you

592
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: try to live your life that way. You will want to.

593
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: It's just because you can't control how your mom feels

594
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 1: about your own life decisions.

595
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 2: Yes, A.

596
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: And then B is it's your life and you have

597
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: a cool and you have a cool thing that you

598
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: want to do, this reptile thing. Okay, all right, what

599
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 1: do we the three things?

600
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 7: Uh?

601
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 1: Your evaluation?

602
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 7: Yeah?

603
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 1: The business? Okay, so how would you start this business?

604
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:14,359
Speaker 7: So?

605
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 6: First thing first would be to get property in order

606
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 6: to actually do the ranch, I need a property that

607
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 6: would be large enough to hold tortoises because I'm looking

608
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 6: at getting giant tortoises specifically.

609
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool. How do you how do this? Want

610
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: to procure giant tortoises?

611
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:38,280
Speaker 2: Uh?

612
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 6: You can actually just buy them online. I don't recommend

613
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 6: just like buying them blindly, but there's a lot of

614
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 6: so to speak, dealers and tortoises online that you can find.

615
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 6: There's a guy that I follow who I'm like, basically

616
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 6: I want his life when it comes to just tortoise

617
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 6: ranching who just sells them for like a couple grand.

618
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:10,839
Speaker 1: That's amazing. So all right, let's talk through this. Then,

619
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 1: what is currently between you and achieving the schal.

620
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 6: Finances. Really just trying to get everything in order. I

621
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 6: feel like I need to get the college stuff done first,

622
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,879
Speaker 6: because that's something I still want to do. I don't

623
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 6: want to drop out of college. I'm just I'm not

624
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 6: sure if I want to do grad school.

625
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 1: But okay, so she haven't you even finished your undergrad No.

626
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 6: I'm finishing this semester, so I'm really excited.

627
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 1: Oh all right, so you're almost done. Yeah, okay, So

628
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 1: the decision is, do I want to try to figure

629
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: out how I'm gonna start this tourist ranch, versus do

630
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:54,760
Speaker 1: I want to go to grad school?

631
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 6: Exactly?

632
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,320
Speaker 1: What are the reasons why you would want to go

633
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: to grad school?

634
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 6: I would be able to pay for it a little

635
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 6: better than a tortoise ranch, and I would get a

636
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 6: bigger return quicker when it comes to finances, because I

637
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 6: would be almost guaranteed a job out of grad school

638
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 6: because part of the process is like shadowing with the organization,

639
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 6: and nine times out of ten you get a job

640
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:30,240
Speaker 6: at that organization, versus like starting a business. I don't

641
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 6: really know much about starting a business, if I'm going

642
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 6: to be honest, like I do do like contract work.

643
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 6: But that's about the basics of stuff that I have

644
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 6: for starting a business, and especially like buying land and

645
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 6: that kind of thing to set up this sort of

646
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 6: business is like way beyond what I know. If that

647
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:52,760
Speaker 6: makes sense.

648
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:58,799
Speaker 1: Have you done the math on this of like how

649
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 1: much does it cost to go to grad school and

650
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: how much does it cost to start up this business?

651
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 6: Grad school would be cheaper, but that also means that

652
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,720
Speaker 6: I would have to delay even longer from starting because

653
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 6: this is the end goal is always been to get.

654
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 3: A ranch.

655
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 1: Grad twenty four. I think, first of well, I'll say this,

656
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm glad that you did in none

657
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 1: of those reasons you gave me. You said anything about

658
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 1: your mom and your aunt. I think that's the most

659
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: important thing here, Like you actually you gave me pretty

660
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:46,760
Speaker 1: pretty good solid reasons here. Is there a pathway that involves, Okay,

661
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: I go to grad school, uh, and then I get

662
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 1: this job and then I can save up more money

663
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 1: to get the capital to make the ranch. Does that exist?

664
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,479
Speaker 6: Yeah, So that's that's kind of the plan for going

665
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 6: to grad school. If I do go. I've been thinking,

666
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 6: if I still want to go to grad school, I

667
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 6: might just change which pathway I'm going and maybe going too,

668
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:15,280
Speaker 6: like veterinary medicine. Does that makes sense going to veterinary medicine,

669
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 6: because after I leave working, you know, a normal mind

670
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 6: to five job, I can still utilize those skills.

671
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 1: Uh again, I really, I really I love the starting

672
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: your own business idea. Uh and and and doing the

673
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 1: ranch I do, and I understand that. To me, in

674
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: my head, it's like, this is just a question of

675
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 1: how do you get the money that it was required

676
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:46,880
Speaker 1: to upstart exactly? And uh I this is this is

677
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 1: all very logical to me. I'm not worried about you.

678
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, I will say that I have people

679
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 6: like backing, Like I have a very loving and supporting

680
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 6: boyfriend that is one hundred percent on board with like

681
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 6: Tortoise ranching with me. We've been together for like ten years,

682
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 6: so he kind of knows that I am like dead

683
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 6: serious on it.

684
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: No, Tortoise Ranching is I want you to know, just

685
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 1: if you ever doubt it. I really just want you

686
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 1: to know people have had much, much, much stupider dreams

687
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 1: than to open a tortoise ranch.

688
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 6: That does make me feel a little better.

689
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, I I I mean, I'm sure you can. I

690
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 1: could name ten stupider dreams than that, But I'm not

691
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 1: going to I'm out of respect to those those people

692
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 1: with those stupid dreams. So I'm not worried about anything

693
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 1: that you said, except for like the trying to please

694
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: your parents and shit. But you you seem you seem

695
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: like you have this on a lock.

696
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 6: I try to. I'm trying to have it figured out.

697
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 6: It's just I hate that it's taking me longer to

698
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 6: get to where I want to be because of all

699
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 6: these like setbacks and just expectations of people.

700
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,760
Speaker 1: Well, if it makes you feel any better, you should. Actually,

701
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say something kind of weird that I don't

702
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: even know if I fully believe, but I'm gonna try it.

703
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: You should actually enjoy this time that is spent achieving

704
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 1: your goal, because once you actually do achieve your goal,

705
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 1: once you get your tortoise ranch, you might get kind

706
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: of bored.

707
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 6: I hope not. I love tortoises, but I do understand

708
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 6: what you're saying that it's like climbing a mountain and

709
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 6: enjoying the view, and once you get to the top,

710
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 6: it's just like, oh I did all this for this,

711
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 6: There we go.

712
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 1: See You're well, no, not all this for this, I

713
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 1: guess I don't. Yeah, I think, yeah, you don't know.

714
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 1: That's stupid. I think when you have a tortoise ranch,

715
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 1: you'll actually be pretty stoked about that. But again, but

716
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 1: it's in the future. It's something to look forward to her.

717
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, again, I'm not I'm really I'm really not

718
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 1: worried about you. You seem like if I had to

719
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,720
Speaker 1: place money on whether or not you would eventually start

720
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 1: this tortoise ranch, I would do it.

721
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 6: It's gonna happen. I'll make it happen one way or another.

722
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 6: It's just a matter of time.

723
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 1: You're gonna have any geckos at this ranch or just tortoises.

724
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 6: I want to get a giant lizard, not a gecko,

725
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 6: but a tagu.

726
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 1: What's a taku?

727
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:33,839
Speaker 6: A tagu is a giant lizard. They're from Argentina. They're

728
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 6: about the size of like a small to medium dog,

729
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 6: and they're just they're really cute and friendly, like they

730
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 6: have a very outgoing personality. They eat anything. They're like

731
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 6: much friendlier than monitor lizards.

732
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: So I will manifest a large Argentinian lizard for your future.

733
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 7: Thank you.

734
00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 1: What is your name again?

735
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:00,439
Speaker 6: Kai?

736
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: Kai? Is there anything else you want to say to

737
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,320
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before.

738
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 6: We go, Please watch for reptiles when you guys drive,

739
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 6: don't run over them. It makes me very sad.

740
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 1: I second that. I second that I've gotten hit by

741
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 1: several cars while walking on the streets. So thank you

742
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 1: for your advocacy for me.

743
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 6: Of course, of course, good night, Kai.

744
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 3: Good night.

745
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:31,399
Speaker 1: Attention listeners of the Therapy Gecko podcast. Do you know

746
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 1: that I do a live version of this podcast on

747
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 1: stage in person, in front of real people, And that

748
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: I'm doing this live show in several cities across the

749
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: United States and Europe this fall, and that tickets are

750
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 1: available right now at therapy geckotour dot com or at

751
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 1: the link in the episode description. It is all true.

752
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 1: I'm currently on my third tour doing Therapy Gecko Live

753
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 1: all around the country and it is the most fun, sick,

754
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 1: amazing thing ever and you should come out and be

755
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 1: a part of it. The shows involve a mix of

756
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 1: material and presentations from myself combined with a group Gecko

757
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 1: therapy session where members of the audience come on stage

758
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 1: to share things from their lives in front of a

759
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 1: big group of people, just like we do here. On

760
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 1: the podcast. Whether you're a fan of the podcast or

761
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: you have no idea what this is and you clicked

762
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,760
Speaker 1: on it by accident, you're gonna have a great time

763
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: at the live show once again. Tickets are available right

764
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,760
Speaker 1: now at therapy geckotour dot com or at the link

765
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,879
Speaker 1: in the episode description. These are really fun shows. They're

766
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 1: always wild, they're always unpredictable, and I hope to see

767
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:42,239
Speaker 1: you guys there.

768
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 6: From Addie, Hello, Hi is this guy?

769
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: Yes? Who is this?

770
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 8: This is Addie.

771
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,399
Speaker 1: What's up Addie? How can I get you today? How

772
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: is life? What would you like to talk about on

773
00:45:58,800 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 1: the on the on the thing?

774
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 4: Life's pretty good right now? I have to say overall, yeah,

775
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 4: I don't know. I just I think I might have

776
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 4: a cool story about when I had we didn't do

777
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 4: psychosis that I could talk about.

778
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 1: Uh, sure, go ahead.

779
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 4: So there's a little bit of context, I guess to

780
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 4: kind of like bring the whole situation together. From about

781
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 4: when I was like sixteen up until twenty, I was

782
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 4: like a chronic weed smoker.

783
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 8: I was I.

784
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 4: Like started off not smoking too much, but it very quickly, like,

785
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,959
Speaker 4: especially when I got to college, I was smoking every

786
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:47,800
Speaker 4: single day.

787
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 8: And yeah, I stopped for about three years, and something

788
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 8: happened in my life that was I had a lot

789
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 8: going on and I was really stressed out.

790
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 4: I would definitely say I was addicted to weed and

791
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 4: I knew it. And so then I picked up smoking again,

792
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 4: and yeah, I guess my brain is just not one

793
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 4: of those brains that does well with weed, because I

794
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:21,239
Speaker 4: ended up having a psychotic episode. So I basically like

795
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 4: I had never experienced it before. It was basically like

796
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 4: I completely lost touch of reality right, like I it

797
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 4: was so strange, like I don't know, Sorry, my thoughts

798
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 4: are all over the place, but I basically took a

799
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 4: hit off of a pen that was not like it

800
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 4: wasn't obviously from like a dispensary or anything. And I

801
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 4: remember getting into the shower and at the time, I

802
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 4: was really into Florence and the Machine.

803
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 9: I still am.

804
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 4: I love her, And while I was in the shower,

805
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 4: I felt like I was being spoken to by her,

806
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 4: like through her music. And also along with this, like

807
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 4: context wise, like I used to be super super religious,

808
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:15,919
Speaker 4: I went to like a program to like get into ministry, like.

809
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,720
Speaker 9: I was super super religious.

810
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 2: For a while.

811
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 4: And so while I was in the shower. I thought

812
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 4: that I was having a what like an epiphany.

813
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 7: Turns out I was just going into psychosis.

814
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 4: Didn't know that at the time, and I was like sobbing,

815
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 4: and I was like started coming up with like all

816
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 4: of these ideas, and like I saw this vision of

817
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 4: like basically my life right Like it started off with

818
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 4: just like flowers cooing in a field, and it was

819
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 4: like these flashes of images of like different things in

820
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:53,240
Speaker 4: my life that like had happened or were going to happen,

821
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 4: at least how it felt.

822
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 6: And I started like.

823
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 4: Singing to the music, thinking that I was like supposed

824
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:09,720
Speaker 4: to be calling out to other women and trying to

825
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:13,840
Speaker 4: like send a message out. And at the time, like

826
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 4: when it first began, I thought, if this isn't real,

827
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 4: then nothing will happen. But if this is real, then

828
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,720
Speaker 4: I'll get some sort of reaction like from my roommates

829
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 4: and stuff, because I was living in a dorm. And

830
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:30,760
Speaker 4: so I sang for like an hour in the shower,

831
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:33,760
Speaker 4: just like belting my lungs out, and I was super

832
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:36,879
Speaker 4: like nervous after I can I.

833
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 1: I'm real quick, real quick, because some people in the

834
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 1: chat are mentioning this, Are you sure this was not

835
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 1: a dnt vape.

836
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 4: I'm almost I have no idea, I because it was

837
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:50,360
Speaker 4: from a friend.

838
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 7: So, like she said, it was a weed pen. Nobody

839
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 7: else had this reaction.

840
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,879
Speaker 4: Everyone else was fine, Like she was hitting it and

841
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,359
Speaker 4: I was hitting it, and she didn't have any sort of.

842
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 6: Adverse effects to it. This was just me.

843
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: Maybe you maybe you hit the wrong button. Maybe it

844
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 1: was like, you know those markers have multiple colors. You

845
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: know the markers you have like multiple colors on you.

846
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 1: You probably hit the d MT button on this fucking pen. Yeah,

847
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:23,839
Speaker 1: but yeah, that sounds I have no idea. I mean,

848
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: has that happened to you after the fact, has it

849
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,839
Speaker 1: happened to you at any other times? Fucking weed?

850
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:33,680
Speaker 4: So there was like, it's nothing like this, Like I

851
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 4: didn't go So in this case, I completely like lost

852
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 4: touch of reality. I thought I was the next Messiah

853
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 4: for like three days, and I would come in and

854
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 4: out of it. But like for the most part, like

855
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 4: I was walking around thinking that I was like a

856
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 4: deity on earth for like three days. I never experienced

857
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:53,280
Speaker 4: that sort of like complete loss of touch of from reality.

858
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,320
Speaker 6: But I did have what I now.

859
00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 4: Realized through like therapy and talking to doctors what might

860
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 4: have been like a man induced episode from weed, like

861
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 4: a couple of years prior. So it's all really strange,

862
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 4: Like I don't really know how to explain it.

863
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 1: When's the last time you spoke to weed?

864
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 7: Over a year ago?

865
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 4: Now? Like I think almost maybe coming up on two years.

866
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, maybe like a year and a half actually,

867
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 4: And do.

868
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 1: You do you feel do you have you had any

869
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:26,720
Speaker 1: psychotic episodes since?

870
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 3: No?

871
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 4: I haven't, thankfully, No are you?

872
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 1: Are you feeling better? Does does it feel good to

873
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,400
Speaker 1: be attached to reality or do you sometimes wish.

874
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 8: To touch a little more?

875
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 4: You know, it's it's a little strange. It was the

876
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 4: most terrifying experience of my life. I will say I

877
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,280
Speaker 4: feel very happy to be grounded and attached to reality.

878
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 6: I do miss the euphoria.

879
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 7: I guess that I felt.

880
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 4: Kind of just like the carelessness. And I mean, if

881
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 4: you feel.

882
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 7: Like a god like you feel pretty great.

883
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think I missed the like euphoria that

884
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,360
Speaker 4: I had felt at the time. But I do not

885
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 4: miss the fear that I felt when I was kind

886
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 4: of coming down and realizing what was happening. Because it's

887
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 4: scary to lose, uh, you know, control of your mind like.

888
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: That when you said you thought you were the Messiah

889
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: for three days? What did that work?

890
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 4: Like?

891
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 1: What were those thoughts?

892
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 4: So the night that it happened was definitely the worst.

893
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,800
Speaker 4: I quite literally thought that I was going through a

894
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 4: transformation that was like I was basically taking on all

895
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:35,480
Speaker 4: of the sin of the world and like turning into Jesus,

896
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 4: Like I was going to be the next Jesus basically,

897
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 4: and so I needed to like and I had like

898
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,720
Speaker 4: some sort of message to like spread to the world

899
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 4: about like God and mother Nature and stuff. So like

900
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:51,480
Speaker 4: I I physically like at one point was feeling like

901
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:55,240
Speaker 4: the pain of like the world on in my body.

902
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 4: And then the next day, like after I kind of

903
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:02,399
Speaker 4: like what went throughquote unquote my like transformation the next day,

904
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 4: this is when I started to kind of come in

905
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 4: and out of it, where like there were moments where

906
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 4: I like was walking around my campus like quite literally

907
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 4: thinking like nobody here knows that I'm a god, like

908
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 4: that I am like a deity. And then I would

909
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:18,360
Speaker 4: kind of come down a little bit and be like

910
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 4: I'm crazy, and then I kind of like flip flop.

911
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:23,280
Speaker 4: I don't know if that makes sense.

912
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,759
Speaker 1: But what if you were a god, would you be

913
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 1: a benevolent one? Or were you like or were you

914
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 1: walking around like nobody here knows that I'm God, so

915
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 1: they better not fuck with me.

916
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 7: I you know, I think it's we're just saying think

917
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 7: a little bit of both. Like I was kind of

918
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:43,240
Speaker 7: like I was super confident, and most of like I guess,

919
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:46,439
Speaker 7: what I wanted to do was like like spread love.

920
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 7: Like I'm a very loving person, so I think mostly benevolent.

921
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,359
Speaker 7: But there was also a side of me that.

922
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 4: Was like, no one can fucking touch me, and like

923
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,240
Speaker 4: if they did, then you know, I'll show them.

924
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 1: You know, have you recently else at all as though

925
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 1: you might be a god of some kind?

926
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 4: I don't think so. Now I feel very normal, Like

927
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:12,840
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm just your average you know person.

928
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:19,279
Speaker 1: Well that's good, that's probably healthy. It's probably healthy not

929
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,959
Speaker 1: thinking that you're thinking that you're a god. But maybe

930
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 1: maybe a little fun for a day.

931
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean for a day if I could,

932
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 4: if I could do it, I think I would do

933
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 4: it just to you know, see what it's like.

934
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 7: But I don't.

935
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 4: I think that's a lot of responsibility to carry on

936
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 4: my shoulders to do it, you know, full.

937
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 1: Time, listen. Anytime you want, you could go into a

938
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 1: volunt You could probably go into some form of a

939
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: voluntary psychosis. Yeah, but it's not I don't think that's

940
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 1: a good idea to voluntarily go insane because you want

941
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 1: to feel like God.

942
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 8: Yeah.

943
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think if something bad enough happened where in

944
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,799
Speaker 4: my life where I was like I don't want to

945
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 4: be a human anymore, maybe that would be like a

946
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 4: super you know, it would be a super helpful way

947
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 4: to try to just let go. But yeah, yeah, I

948
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 4: don't know.

949
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:23,760
Speaker 1: What's your name again?

950
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 8: Addie?

951
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the

952
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go? Addie?

953
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, tell someone that you love them today.

954
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: Tell someone that you love them today. Tell God that

955
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 1: you love them today. Maybe he'll love you back, especially

956
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 1: if it maybe he'll stop making all those horrible, horrible

957
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 1: things happen to you if you tell them you love

958
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 1: them once in a while. All right, Bye, Eddie, Bye.

959
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 6: Thanks guy.

960
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 1: Hello. Hello, what is your name?

961
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 6: Wow?

962
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 9: It's Alyssa. I can't believe this. I've been watching the

963
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:11,320
Speaker 9: stream for years.

964
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 1: Well, glad to have you here, Alyssa says, here that

965
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:18,919
Speaker 1: you are concerned you're becoming too much like your mother.

966
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 9: Yes, and I don't mean that in a bad way.

967
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 9: I love my mom. She's my best friend.

968
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 3: But I just.

969
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 9: I don't know. It's kind of having an impact on

970
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:38,800
Speaker 9: some of my decisions. I think I messaged you before

971
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:41,960
Speaker 9: that saying that I'm thinking about becoming a therapist and

972
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 9: my mom's a therapist. So I've always thought I don't

973
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 9: want to do that because that's what she does. But

974
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,359
Speaker 9: now I do want to do it, but I don't

975
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 9: know if I should because that's what she does. Does

976
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:53,720
Speaker 9: that make sense?

977
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 1: It makes sense in theory, but in practice, why do

978
00:56:58,960 --> 00:56:59,479
Speaker 1: you care?

979
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:02,839
Speaker 9: Yeah, exactly. I don't know. It's just me and my

980
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 9: mom are literally the same person she's We're both the

981
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 9: same personality type, we're both Leo's, We're very similar. I

982
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 9: love her, she's my role model, but I don't want to.

983
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 9: I guess it's a stupid thing. Like if I, quote

984
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 9: unquote grew up to be like my mom, that wouldn't

985
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 9: be a bad thing because she's great.

986
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, take your mom out of it. Like,

987
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 1: do you want to be a therapist?

988
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 9: Yeah? I do, I've I always have, but I've always

989
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 9: told myself, I'm not going to do that because that's

990
00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 9: what my mom does. I don't want to do what

991
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 9: my mom does. But it's the only thing that I

992
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 9: keep coming back to, Like I'm so unsatisfied in my

993
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 9: job right now, and I'm just I've always told myself

994
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 9: like maybe when I'm older, somewhere down the road, but

995
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:00,160
Speaker 9: it's just the thing I keep coming back to. So

996
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 9: I don't know. I guess that's saying it out loud

997
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 9: makes me realize it's kind of a silly concern.

998
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, like I mean, point case closed. If

999
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 1: you want to be a therapist, then why does it

1000
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:17,040
Speaker 1: matter if your mom was one?

1001
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 9: Well that's true, but also like I'm worried. I guess

1002
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 9: nobody is one hundred percent uh mentally healthy. Like I

1003
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 9: definitely still have my own stuff I'm working out, So

1004
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:38,440
Speaker 9: I guess another part of my concern is, like, is it,

1005
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:43,840
Speaker 9: you know, should I be the person giving people advice

1006
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 9: when I don't even have my own shaw worked out?

1007
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 9: You know?

1008
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm depressed and anxious and completely insane, and

1009
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: for some reason people continue to ask me what they

1010
00:58:56,320 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 1: should do with their lives. Oh true, But I'm also

1011
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 1: I'm not a real therapist. I'm a fucking internet streamer guy.

1012
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:10,520
Speaker 1: So but I I don't. I look, here's my final

1013
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:15,040
Speaker 1: opinion on this. What's alyssa is that, like, I mean,

1014
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 1: stop giving yourself reasons not to do a thing that

1015
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 1: you want to do, and they're not good. They're not

1016
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 1: good reasons. Like if you want to do the thing,

1017
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:22,000
Speaker 1: go do the thing.

1018
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 9: Yeah, no, that's a good point. It's good to have

1019
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 9: somebody else to tell me that I just wish. So

1020
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 9: I feel so directionless, Like sometimes you.

1021
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 10: Just want what do you mean you feel hold on?

1022
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 10: Hold on what you keep saying this thing? What do

1023
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 10: you mean you feel directionless? You have a direction, you

1024
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 10: have a thing you're telling me over and over again

1025
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 10: that you want to do. That's the opposite of direction

1026
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:43,240
Speaker 10: list that's the.

1027
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 9: Direction out of the country. So that's the other part

1028
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 9: of it. So what I don't know, I also want

1029
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,439
Speaker 9: to move out of the country, so that's the other

1030
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 9: part of it. So it's like I can I can

1031
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 9: apply to grad school here, but then I'm kind of

1032
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 9: like locking myself into I guess I'm not because I

1033
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:07,600
Speaker 9: could work remotely once I'm licensed. But the other option

1034
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 9: would be to apply to grad programs outside of the country.

1035
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,800
Speaker 9: I just can't decide what route to take.

1036
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 1: What country do you want to move to?

1037
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 9: Kind of I'm very open honestly. That's like France is one.

1038
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 9: I just got back from a trip to France. It

1039
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 9: was really lovely. I can speak a tiny tiny bit

1040
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 9: of French. Uh, maybe the UK. Those would be my

1041
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 9: top two.

1042
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 1: I would say, Okay, this all sounds good. I can,

1043
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 1: I can, I can. I be honest with you, Yeah,

1044
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 1: please you there's no reason to invent reasons why you

1045
01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 1: shouldn't go do fun, cool, exciting things, right, You're like,

1046
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 1: That's what I'm observing is that you're inventing reasons. Yeah,

1047
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 1: be scared and happy that don't that don't exist.

1048
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:17,160
Speaker 9: Yeah, because it's just I guess hard to actually like

1049
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 9: do the thing. You know, you just have to decide to.

1050
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 1: Just that's the thing. I mean, your mother, the fact

1051
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:27,080
Speaker 1: that your mom was a therapist, like who, like, who cares?

1052
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:29,720
Speaker 1: That doesn't matter at all. You want to do this thing,

1053
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 1: We'll go do it.

1054
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 9: No, you're right, You're totally right.

1055
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:36,920
Speaker 3: Uh have to figure out.

1056
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 1: Where I mean being a therapist in French? That sounds cool?

1057
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: They make a lot of sad, it probably would be sad.

1058
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 1: They make a lot of sad, It probably would be hard.

1059
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 1: They make a lot of sad, black and white French

1060
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 1: movies that make people very sad. So I say, France,

1061
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 1: I think you should go to friends because that's probably

1062
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 1: where the most that's probably where the most depressed people are,

1063
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 1: and that's where you'll get make the most money being

1064
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 1: a therapist.

1065
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 9: So I gotta learn the language a little better than

1066
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 9: I I do know it already.

1067
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:10,640
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1068
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?

1069
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:17,360
Speaker 9: No, I don't think so. Thanks for calling, Thanks for.

1070
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 1: Thanks for talking to me on the phone anytime.

1071
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 9: Bye bye.

1072
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:32,280
Speaker 3: Never Beacond goes on the line making us oone calls

1073
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:32,920
Speaker 3: every night.

1074
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 1: Never Beacon goes to side, just teaching news.

1075
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:37,400
Speaker 3: Good line.

1076
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 1: Money's not really exper