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Speaker 1: My wife's last wish is to sleep with a coworker.

2
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Speaker 1: I said, yes, Then everything changed.

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Speaker 2: Do these make a wish? Kid? Wishes are getting crazier

4
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Speaker 2: and crazier. We really need to like, put it on

5
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Speaker 2: ice a little bit, breaks, dude, put the breaks. Pump

6
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Speaker 2: something else, yes, yes, please, for the love of Actually no,

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Speaker 2: it's stop pumping. I don't pump anything out. Pump the

8
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Speaker 2: chemo and nothing else. Oh, dear, onto the story. My

9
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Speaker 2: wife and I got that too.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I have been married since two thousand

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Speaker 1: and one and been together since nineteen ninety nine. She's

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Speaker 1: the most intelligent, thoughtful, caring and loyal person I know,

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Speaker 1: and I've always thought of myself as fortunate to have

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Speaker 1: met and married her. She is even today aesthetically beautiful,

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Speaker 1: and men have told her this throughout our marriage.

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Speaker 2: Nice, but she has always shot them down. Let's go,

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Speaker 2: loyal wife, we love it, that's true.

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Speaker 1: Earlier this year, she was diagnosed with uterine cancer stage

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Speaker 1: one and had a full hysterectomy.

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Speaker 2: I means she can't have kids.

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Speaker 1: Can't have kids, and that's where they take out your uterus, right, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was never concerned about the cancer. It was diagnosed early,

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Speaker 1: dealt with quickly, and she made a full recovery. Oh

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Speaker 1: she's not even gonna die. Maybe not, I mean, okay,

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Speaker 1: we don't know yet. I took time off work to

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Speaker 1: care for her. After the surgery, it all seemed well.

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Speaker 1: There were some to be expected emotional instances on her part,

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Speaker 1: and although I'm not an emotional person, we dealt with

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Speaker 1: them together. After her recovery, she was insistent that we

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Speaker 1: start living life to the fullest and took a ten

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Speaker 1: day trip to Europe, followed by a trip to Belize. Damn,

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Speaker 1: she's Belize. Please believe that is? That is party city

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Speaker 1: over there. What's happening? What's going on? We're throwing down?

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Speaker 1: There was anaccet when we broke up. She went to

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Speaker 1: U Belize and told me a story that was burned

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Speaker 1: in my mind. Oh damn, I am so sorry.

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Speaker 2: Don't go to Belie. Don't go to Belize, guys unless

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Speaker 2: you want to get double teams. Oh oh no, she

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Speaker 2: she could do whatever she wanted to do. But don't

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Speaker 2: tell me. Yeah, I don't tell you. You know, you

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Speaker 2: don't tell you. That's too much. That's too much out here. God.

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Speaker 1: We also have a trip to the UK and Spain

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Speaker 1: slash portug Gold later this year. I am fine with

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Speaker 1: these things, building memories and crossing bucket list adventures off

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Speaker 1: her and our list. I also understand that these are

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Speaker 1: a result of feeling fragile on her part. She also

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Speaker 1: took up yoga, swimming, and healthy cooking classes.

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Speaker 2: Dude, she sounds lit. This is she sounds sick. Great,

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Speaker 2: she's like transforming her life. It sounds like she's actually

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Speaker 2: living to the fullest. Yeah. I was fully on board

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Speaker 2: until til until last week. I was waiting for that

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Speaker 2: until last.

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Speaker 1: Week when she came home from work and told me

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Speaker 1: that she wanted a hall pass, a one time opportunity

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Speaker 1: for her to do the nasty with someone else besides me.

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Speaker 1: She said that since her cancer diagnosis, her outlook on

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Speaker 1: life has changed and she doesn't want to be handcuffed

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Speaker 1: from doing things she wants to do.

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Speaker 2: Dang, she like, does it stop at one hall pass?

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Speaker 1: You know, maybe you need to uh, you know, get

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Speaker 1: that hall pass on repeat.

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Speaker 2: You need to get a printer template in xerox, dude,

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Speaker 2: or she print those copies.

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Speaker 1: She explained that there's this guy at her work that

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Speaker 1: she has always had some attraction to Oh, that's so

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Speaker 1: much worse to be like, I've always been attracted to him.

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Speaker 1: I've been thinking about it the whole time, like just

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Speaker 1: be like, you know what, I just thought this random guy,

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Speaker 1: like I kind of wanted to experience it like a

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Speaker 1: one time, like at least ankle it like that. You know,

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Speaker 1: he is leaving the company and she will never see

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Speaker 1: him again. So this is the perfect opportunity to sleep

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Speaker 1: with someone else.

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Speaker 2: I mean, at least it's contained until yeah, there's another

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Speaker 2: until yeah, but we could get there.

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Speaker 1: She said that I could say no, of course, but

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Speaker 1: that she would be the mad slash disappointed at me

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Speaker 1: for an intermediate amount of time. That would be confirmation

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Speaker 1: of my male toxicity and insecurity.

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Speaker 2: Fuck uh, dude, that is the major gas lighter. Like

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Speaker 2: you could say no, babe, and I would totally understand,

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Speaker 2: and I would just understand it's because of your toxic

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Speaker 2: masculinity and tiny penis.

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Speaker 1: I would just understand you're such a horrible piece of person,

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Speaker 1: in horrible in bed.

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Speaker 2: By the way, I'm super insecure you're Yeah, I just

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Speaker 2: understand that you're like a terrible husband, You're.

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Speaker 1: The devil basically, that's all I'm trying to say, yeah,

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Speaker 1: just a little little little little thing just like yours.

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Speaker 1: That's so put. Tell me if that's fucked up put

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Speaker 1: in the chat you think it is. I don't consider

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Speaker 1: myself to be toxic. And if not wanting your wife

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Speaker 1: of twenty plus years to be intimate with someone else's insecure,

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Speaker 1: then I guess I'm insecure. I told her that I

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Speaker 1: appreciated her talking to me about this, but approval via

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Speaker 1: coercion is not approval.

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Speaker 2: Amen, brother, Amen, Amen, fight the good fight. That's all right.

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Speaker 1: I also said that I do not appreciate her language

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Speaker 1: in describing my as of yet unknown reaction to this

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Speaker 1: very large issue that could affect the rest of our

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Speaker 1: marriage slash life. I got up in the morning and

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Speaker 1: she basically said that she was sorry for putting such

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Speaker 1: a large decision solely on my shoulders, and that to

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Speaker 1: help she was making the decision away from me.

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Speaker 2: So I'm just gonna do it anyway. What does that mean.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to help you out by making this decision

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Speaker 1: real easy for you. She booked a hotel near where

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Speaker 1: her coworkers are having a party slash send off for

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Speaker 1: this guy, and she would spend the night there with

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Speaker 1: him and hoped that I would be here when.

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Speaker 2: She got back. She's being like, Hey, I'm gonna do

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Speaker 2: what I want to do, and I'm gonna tell you,

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Speaker 2: is it better or worse? Better that I think better

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Speaker 2: that she says it. Yeah, But then you have the

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Speaker 2: option of being like, this is not a relationship I

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Speaker 2: want to be in anymore.

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Speaker 1: That's true, but also just like the experience of knowing

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Speaker 1: that she's going down, like you.

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Speaker 2: YEA call this man an ambulance brocau is critical criminal

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Speaker 2: levels of treatment here, dude, ah man, I mean I

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Speaker 2: if this, if this happened to me, I would probably

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Speaker 2: because it's not like the thing is it's like not

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Speaker 2: a conversation.

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Speaker 1: No, she's she's just like she's like either I'm gaslining

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Speaker 1: you just saying yes, or I'm just doing it.

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Speaker 2: And this is not what he agreed on when he

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Speaker 2: entered the relationship. So I thought it is a full

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Speaker 2: license to leave, as does she if that now she

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Speaker 2: she wants to leave, but not not cool in her part.

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Speaker 2: I don't think no.

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Speaker 1: I would say no that she would answer any questions

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Speaker 1: I have about the night after it happened, but not before.

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Speaker 1: But what are these weird rules that she has. She

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Speaker 1: will not tell me who he is or anything about him,

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Speaker 1: because she knows me too well, and that I will

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Speaker 1: dwell and obsess over him, and that it would and

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Speaker 1: that would make it too real for me, which is

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Speaker 1: pretty accurate. It's pretty fucking real, pretty freaking real. Her

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Speaker 1: POV is that the less I know, the better, which

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Speaker 1: contradicts the offer to tell me anything I want to

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Speaker 1: know after it happened. I think she knows I won't

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Speaker 1: want to know Slash ask anything, or she will simply

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Speaker 1: not tell me. Part of me thinks, at least she

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Speaker 1: has been honest with me, and she has been through

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Speaker 1: a lot since finding out that she had cancer, so

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Speaker 1: maybe I should just let it happen. I certainly have

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Speaker 1: no concept of what she went through, so I cannot

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Speaker 1: dismiss how this affected her mental state slash outlook on life.

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Speaker 2: It affected a lot, obviously.

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Speaker 1: Apparently part of me wants to put my foot down

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Speaker 1: and say this is not gonna happen, and deal with

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Speaker 1: those consequences when they happened. Her BFF calls me callous

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Speaker 1: for even suggesting I wouldn't let it happen, God, because

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Speaker 1: I have no idea what she went through, all right, So.

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Speaker 2: I would love to see two.

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Speaker 1: I would love to see the bff's partner say the

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Speaker 1: same thing, you know exactly, Yeah, tables turn pal. I

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Speaker 1: find it hard to believe that she's okay with the

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Speaker 1: possibility of throwing away twenty plus years of marriage over

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Speaker 1: some guy that she has had no relationship with outside

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Speaker 1: of work.

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Speaker 2: I think she's thinking it's gonna be fine. I don't

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Speaker 2: think she's realizing the consequences.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean yeah, I guess that because that makes

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Speaker 1: it easier for her to like talk about us no, nonchalantly,

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Speaker 1: like she is right and that maybe I should just

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Speaker 1: call her bluff. Maybe she thinks similarly that I won't

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Speaker 1: throw away the marriage because of one encounter.

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Speaker 2: I just don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: I empathize with her, and then an instant later, I'm

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Speaker 1: angry with her. Part of me wants to know who

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Speaker 1: this guy is, what does he look like, what has

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Speaker 1: he got that.

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Speaker 2: Is so enthralling for her? Is he just a safe option?

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Speaker 2: Is he married? Does his wife know?

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Speaker 1: Would I be a callous asshole for saying no? What

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Speaker 1: can I do besides walking away? We do have some

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Speaker 1: comments and an update to get into but.

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Speaker 2: I think at the core, at the core, what she's

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Speaker 2: doing is not taking into his like not she's not

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Speaker 2: taking it into account his feelings or what he believes

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Speaker 2: the marriage is built on. So like that, it seems

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Speaker 2: it seems like what has happened is it's changed like this,

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Speaker 2: this near death experience has changed her a lot. And

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Speaker 2: she's like, I'm just gonna do what I want to do.

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Speaker 2: But the consequence of doing what you want to do

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Speaker 2: always is some people won't want to do it with you.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Like I could see maybe she comes to him

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Speaker 1: and she's like, look, I have gone through this like

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Speaker 1: insanely life changing thing. It's made me completely change how

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Speaker 1: I view my life in the world. And honestly, I

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Speaker 1: am having some of these thoughts and feelings, like to

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Speaker 1: be completely honest, and you know, I wanted to tell

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Speaker 1: you that, like something along those lines.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it just needs it needs to be a conversation,

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Speaker 2: needs to be a conversation. Conversation, Yeah, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: But let's see what some of the commenters had to say.

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Speaker 2: They're probably saying divorce, yeah, divorce chance in the comments.

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Speaker 1: Divorce of course. Top comment from bilural Beats Yeah, that

200
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Speaker 1: is the thing that's gotta be whenever we do like

201
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,400
Speaker 1: the official march doot, we gotta get the divorce. Divorce,

202
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Speaker 1: I mean, that's gotta be a good that's gotta be

203
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,360
Speaker 1: one kind of think. This is the way your marriage

204
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,720
Speaker 1: will be from now on. With her epiphany, she wants

205
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,000
Speaker 1: to relive her life and she's going to do it

206
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,880
Speaker 1: regardless of your feelings. I think she's being rather selfish

207
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Speaker 1: and probably only threatens this because she thinks you are

208
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,439
Speaker 1: beaten down and will simply put up with it. Perhaps

209
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,040
Speaker 1: not the best time for trips and frills. She wants

210
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Speaker 1: the single life. Let her see what that means, Opie replies.

211
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Speaker 1: She thinks because she will never see this guy again

212
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Speaker 1: and that I have never met him, supposedly that will

213
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Speaker 1: not really affect me or a marriage in the long term, which,

214
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Speaker 1: like the never seeing him again thing is is bs

215
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Speaker 1: because like, yeah, you could like not that she should,

216
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Speaker 1: but like you could meet up somewhere. Have numbers, numbers,

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Speaker 1: there are planes, like what are.

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Speaker 2: We talking about? Whatever you want? Yeah, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: So she's shown that she'll make a you know, a

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Speaker 2: ten day trip to Europe, no problem.

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Speaker 1: Right, He has taken a new job as a colony

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Speaker 1: on Mars to rebuild the human population.

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Speaker 2: This is my one night God. There she goes off

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Speaker 2: to Mars. They're building the population with him. The man,

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Speaker 2: Elon Musk, Dude, Elon Musk is all about rebuilding the population.

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Speaker 2: Here is like thirty kids, bro.

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Speaker 1: My man is ready to build a colony out, Opie

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Speaker 1: goes on in the response. I am left with accepting

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Speaker 1: it and never viewing her the same way again, or

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Speaker 1: going through a divorce at fifty four. Not really great

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Speaker 1: options on either front. I don't know where her head is,

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Speaker 1: and the bout with cancer is affecting her in ways

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Speaker 1: that I couldn't possibly imagine.

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Speaker 2: I don't think she believes I will leave. Damn, dude.

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Speaker 2: The game of poker right here, Relationship Poker.

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Speaker 1: We're about to get into the update. Everyone watching right now,

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Speaker 1: mister Samuel Donner. Do we think, Oh, he's gonna leave

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Speaker 1: the relationship.

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Speaker 2: I think he's gonna leave. I think he's gonna leave.

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Speaker 2: I think that's gonna think. I want to I want

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Speaker 2: to know what y'all think for your answers in the comments.

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Speaker 2: But I think that comment about like this is prepare

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Speaker 2: for the rest of your relationship, because this is what

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Speaker 2: you're gonna get. If she starts believing that she can

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Speaker 2: do whatever she wants and with no respect for what

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Speaker 2: oh he wants, then she's going to continue to do that.

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Speaker 2: She'll floor and like I think at the very least

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Speaker 2: having saying like, hey, I'm not going to do this,

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Speaker 2: I'm not for this. I think we should get a divorce.

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Speaker 2: Maybe they get back together at something at some point,

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Speaker 2: and she has the perspective of like, oh shit, I

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Speaker 2: should have been talking to him about like meeting in

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Speaker 2: the middle more at the very least, you know.

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Speaker 1: If that is if she does indeed actually still want the.

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Speaker 2: Relationships she got. Yeah, yeah, she's actually gonna have to

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Speaker 2: want it, but you show that she wants it. But

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Speaker 2: you know what I want. You want to read this update? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I do.

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Speaker 2: Onto the updates.

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Speaker 1: I received a ton of advice I couldn't possibly all

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Speaker 1: respond to. I do appreciate the people who took time

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Speaker 1: to offer advice in the comments or via personal message.

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Speaker 1: It's been an exhausting past couple of days. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: only imagine. I was hoping that my opposition to her

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Speaker 1: plans would give her pause, but unfortunately that didn't happen.

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Speaker 2: Yikes, she went through with it.

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Speaker 1: I said, I am a hard no and I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure how I will feel about you if you go

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Speaker 1: ahead with it. I was met with once again, this

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Speaker 1: is for me. It will be a one time thing.

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Speaker 1: What can I say to help you deal with it?

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Speaker 1: You'll get over it. We were meant to be regardless

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Speaker 1: of this situation. All of those are remarks leading up

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Speaker 1: to Saturday fuck. She left on Saturday, ostensibly to meet

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Speaker 1: her coworkers, but in reality get down and dirty with

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Speaker 1: the other guy. I asked her to text me when

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Speaker 1: she was leaving for the bar, and when she did,

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Speaker 1: I asked her if she was really going to go

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Speaker 1: through with this. After her response, I am not answering

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Speaker 1: any more questions tonight. I will see you tomorrow, I

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Speaker 1: blocked my wife. Then I did something either stupid or brilliant.

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Speaker 1: I went who the bar where the get together was happening.

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Speaker 1: It's getting really real.

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Speaker 2: Oh this is a messy well, not the bar, but

285
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Speaker 2: a transit bench across the street. I waited for a

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Speaker 2: long time.

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Speaker 1: It was running through my mind the leading up to

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Speaker 1: this event that I need to know who this guy was,

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Speaker 1: maybe to compare myself against him.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's not good. That's not good to OPHI to

291
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Speaker 2: see what he had that I do not. Oh hope.

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Speaker 1: It was driving me crazy, not knowing who he was

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Speaker 1: and what was so special about him that she would

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Speaker 1: ruin a marriage for. After what seemed like an eternity,

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Speaker 1: a woman I recognized from my wife's office left the

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Speaker 1: bar and got into a cab. Soon other people started

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Speaker 1: filing out, and a whole group came out and people

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Speaker 1: were hugging a man and shaking his hand. I assumed

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Speaker 1: I had my guy. Oh, I didn't see my wife

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Speaker 1: and had a brief thought that maybe she called it

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Speaker 1: all off. I unblocked her and there was no new messages.

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Speaker 1: Everyone said their goodbyes and left. The dude was standing

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Speaker 1: outside for a few minutes, and then my wife came out. No,

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Speaker 1: and it wouldn't be the last time. She looked around,

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00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,520
Speaker 1: took his hand and started walking away together. All the

306
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:11,800
Speaker 1: emotions I went through, trepidation, sadness, anger, it was discussed

307
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Speaker 1: that really encapsulated this.

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Speaker 2: Event for me.

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Speaker 1: This guy was short, fat, and bald, all of the

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Speaker 1: things that I cannot compete with. Wait what ultimately I

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Speaker 1: felt like a perv for watching from a distance. I

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00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,120
Speaker 1: followed until they got to the hotel, and then turned

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Speaker 1: around and went home. I woke up Sunday morning and

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Speaker 1: put a lock on the master bedroom door. I moved

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Speaker 1: her things to the spare room and left a note

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Speaker 1: asking her to find other accommodations as quickly as possible.

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Speaker 1: I visited another friend who was a lawyer, and he

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Speaker 1: gave me some sage advice and a couple of recommendations

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Speaker 1: for divorce attorneys, and made the introductions.

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Speaker 2: Wow, he's going through with it.

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Speaker 1: He's doing it. My wife had been calling me numerous

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Speaker 1: times since around eleven or so. Once the block calls

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Speaker 1: go to voicemail. I listened to the first couple, but

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Speaker 1: felt nothing but satisfaction when she couldn't get through to me,

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Speaker 1: and she was obviously becoming concerned. I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: go home, but I left in such a hurry that

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Speaker 1: I didn't plan an overnight properly. I got home around

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Speaker 1: nine as for my buddy's advice, and I recorded the interaction.

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Speaker 1: I was halfway up the stairs when she came up

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Speaker 1: from the family room, asking me what was going on.

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Speaker 1: Could we talk? I thought we had talked about this.

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Speaker 1: I just answered with I'm not interested in discussing this tonight,

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Speaker 1: and I went to bed. After not getting a response

334
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Speaker 1: from me through the door, she left me alone. I

335
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,640
Speaker 1: felt like a child for not talking with her and

336
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,160
Speaker 1: shutting the door on her, but I just couldn't look

337
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,160
Speaker 1: at her, which.

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Speaker 2: Understanding you. One night and she hooked up with Danny

339
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:39,000
Speaker 2: DeVito and you're fucking like destroyed. Not Danny DeVito, dude.

340
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,880
Speaker 1: Oh and then Arnold Schwarzenegger pulled out yep, oh god,

341
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,120
Speaker 1: not that double team. Monday, I got up and ready

342
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Speaker 1: for work. She was waiting for me and asked if

343
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Speaker 1: we could discuss getting back to normal. I said, you

344
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,600
Speaker 1: have been doing all the talking for both of us

345
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Speaker 1: for the last week. Why don't you continue? And I

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00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,240
Speaker 1: left for work. I have an appointment with.

347
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,840
Speaker 2: The attorneys my friend recommended for this week, so he's

348
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Speaker 2: going through with it.

349
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Speaker 1: He's doing it, which I mean, you know, think about

350
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,600
Speaker 1: this too. While his wife was dealing with the situation

351
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:14,359
Speaker 1: with the harrest hysterectomy and the cancer, which okay, maybe

352
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,359
Speaker 1: they were pretty confident they could beat it, but still

353
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:20,160
Speaker 1: a very scary, like just not at all fun thing

354
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,879
Speaker 1: to go through. He he was there, he was, you know,

355
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,120
Speaker 1: like and he didn't go into detail, but I'm assuming

356
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Speaker 1: that he did support her and obviously at least stayed

357
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Speaker 1: with her as he should. So it's just kind of like,

358
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Speaker 1: I know that she's gone through all this stuff and

359
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 1: is like her worldview has changed, but like, like we said,

360
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,360
Speaker 1: she could do this in a completely different.

361
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Speaker 2: Way, right, Yeah, yeah, I mean something like something like

362
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 2: opening up a marriage, even for a night, that is

363
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Speaker 2: not a steamroll conversation, Like it is something that could

364
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,960
Speaker 2: be done. Maybe she could have made him feel okay, Yeah,

365
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 2: but it's not something you say my way or the highway,

366
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,200
Speaker 2: because you're gonna be kicked out on that highway, dude,

367
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Speaker 2: and you'rea have to hit back home. You'd be a

368
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,680
Speaker 2: hitchhiking bomb. You're hitchhiking bomb, dude, because your husband ain't

369
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:06,560
Speaker 2: picking up that ass.

370
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,159
Speaker 1: On top date two, my lawyer wasn't available for a

371
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Speaker 1: few days, so I was faced with the reality of

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Speaker 1: having to live with my wife. In the introim, I

373
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 1: really didn't want to go home and have any discussion,

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Speaker 1: let alone a discussion about our relationship. When I did

375
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 1: get home, I was basically ambushed by her friends and

376
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,840
Speaker 1: my mother in law. Instead of them taking the remorseful approach,

377
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 1: they decided that a full court press was what the

378
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 1: situation warranted, and I was basically berated by them for

379
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 1: what for what.

380
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 2: She'd get railed by Danny Debo.

381
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, the BFF was definitely the ringleader, but all of

382
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,880
Speaker 1: them decided to say things such as, she's been through

383
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Speaker 1: a lot. You don't know what she's been through. You

384
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 1: have no idea what it's like to face something like this,

385
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,400
Speaker 1: This is a one time thing. At least she told

386
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,400
Speaker 1: you she could have hitten it from you. She will

387
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 1: never see that guy again. And my favorite, you are

388
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,439
Speaker 1: an a hole for what you have been putting her

389
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,760
Speaker 1: through the last couple of days. How were all of

390
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 1: these people so delusional?

391
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 2: Dude? I don't know. Maybe they were like, hey, like,

392
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 2: you should just do it, girl, Just do it. You

393
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 2: know not the girl's gas. You gotta do it. You

394
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 2: gotta do what's right for you. Are you cancer? And

395
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 2: you know what you know what cancer means? Fuck you

396
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,640
Speaker 2: go god.

397
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Speaker 1: I listened with a dumb ass smirk on my face,

398
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,119
Speaker 1: and when there was a lull in their fury, I

399
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,239
Speaker 1: asked them if they were all done now. Then I

400
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 1: asked my wife if there was anyone in her circle

401
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,800
Speaker 1: of friends or anyone else that she forgot to tell

402
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,479
Speaker 1: about this. I quietly informed all of them that I

403
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 1: was going to sit down with their husbands and tell

404
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 1: them about how they verbally abused me, shaming me, and

405
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,639
Speaker 1: trying to coerce me into staying with a cheater.

406
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 2: How are those husbands gonna feel about that?

407
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 1: After I told them to leave, I said that I

408
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,760
Speaker 1: had no say in the entire event, and so they

409
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 1: have no say in whether I stay or not. My

410
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,280
Speaker 1: soon to be ex wife sort of apologized. She said

411
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 1: that she regretted the entire thing. I said, there's a

412
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 1: difference between regret and remorse. That is true. You regret

413
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 1: what happened because of cause and effect. You have regret

414
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,119
Speaker 1: because your life will never be the same, a relationship

415
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,399
Speaker 1: will never be the same, because you are holy and

416
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,360
Speaker 1: wilfully unconcerned about me and what I wanted.

417
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 2: Speak truth to power, Opie. Fuck yeah.

418
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 1: She asked if I had any questions, that she would

419
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 1: answer them now, no matter how disturbing.

420
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 2: I said.

421
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,880
Speaker 1: The one question I do have is why, not necessarily,

422
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,680
Speaker 1: why this guy? Why this low and unattractive, unfit guy.

423
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,800
Speaker 1: But why someone else in the first place. She said

424
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 1: that the cancer scared her to her core. She felt

425
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 1: like she was rushing toward mortality, and stepping out of

426
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,960
Speaker 1: the tunnel was appealing. She said that after all this

427
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 1: time of being a wife and a mother and worrying

428
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: about family, this was something just for her, an escape.

429
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,360
Speaker 1: The guy was just someone who was interested in her

430
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,120
Speaker 1: for a long enough time that she knew wouldn't say

431
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:51,560
Speaker 1: no and was completely the opposite to me.

432
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 2: Why is this logic? Yeah, short, ugly which is Paul

433
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,640
Speaker 2: ripped handsome in a foot head a head?

434
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,719
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, some people say he looks like Brad Pitt.

435
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is

436
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 1: a good one, though. Okay, this last time I've ever

437
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 1: saying it. That's the last time I've ever saying it.

438
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 2: You can cut that out of her. You can put

439
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 2: the picture of my dad. It's the last time. It's

440
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 2: the last one I promised all my life. I don't

441
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 2: mind if that think it's funny.

442
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: I said, if I was going to risk my marriage,

443
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 1: the woman would have to be a serious upgrade from you.

444
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:34,479
Speaker 1: That's yeah, My man's going in. I told her that

445
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: I saw you and him coming out of the bar

446
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: that night. I watched you walk away from the bar

447
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 1: hand in hand towards the hotel. I said that you

448
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 1: look too familiar with each other and asked if there

449
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,400
Speaker 1: was something going on before all this. She said no,

450
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,719
Speaker 1: but who knows if that's a truth or not. I

451
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 1: said that after all our years together, your lack of

452
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,199
Speaker 1: respect for me was astonishing. I finished by saying that

453
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 1: I would never be able to look at myself in

454
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 1: the mirror again if I can do that level of

455
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: disrespect and stayed with you. I said, I hope we

456
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 1: can go our separate ways amicably, and that I have

457
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 1: an appointment with a lawyer leader in the week. I

458
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,439
Speaker 1: again asked her to find some other accommodations, and she

459
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: simply said, I'm not going anywhere.

460
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 2: We are not getting a divorce.

461
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: I will give you all the time you need and

462
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 1: do whatever you need to recover from this. We will

463
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 1: get past this. She has asked me to go to

464
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: marriage counseling, to which I refused, Wow, why would I

465
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 1: go to counseling. I did nothing to warrant needing a

466
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:31,159
Speaker 1: therapist's advice. I had served her and gave her a

467
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 1: notice to vacate the house. Is my pre marital access

468
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 1: if you ain't, no chump, we want to pre up?

469
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 1: Which could be another shirt that way. Yeah, I would

470
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 1: love to get sued by Kanye West. She has moved

471
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 1: in with her mom, but I found her constantly coming

472
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: by to see if I need anything, or making suggestions

473
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: like what if we had an open relationship only on

474
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 1: your side or three sums?

475
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 2: Damn. She's trying to give man every cookie she can

476
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 2: think of, which seems kind of desperate ampathetic.

477
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,479
Speaker 1: Rebuffing her constantly and telling her that she has to

478
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 1: call to ask permission before coming by finally seems to

479
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: be getting through to her that there is no.

480
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 2: Us going forward. Dang.

481
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,400
Speaker 1: She has said that she will drag the divorce out

482
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 1: for as long as possible, but so far has been compliant.

483
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: The worst part of all is telling my daughter that

484
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 1: we're going to get a divorce and.

485
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 2: Why how old is the daughter?

486
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: Probably like twenties, Yeah, I have to twenty twenty years

487
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: of marriage, so bare minhim.

488
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,199
Speaker 2: I'm probably a legal adult.

489
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, And followed closely by my daughter begging me to

490
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: give her mom another chance.

491
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 2: That's gotta be soul crushing. Dude. That's gotta be hard,

492
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 2: because it's one thing to have like your your wife's

493
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 2: like BFFs and mom or whatever, to say, give her

494
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 2: a second chance to have your daughter. That's gonna be

495
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 2: heart ran chat is tough.

496
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 1: I am not sure I would have afforded the same

497
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 1: consideration if I was the one who was cheating. Oh

498
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,879
Speaker 1: there's a comment after vacating the house. Is she feeling

499
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: remorse or is she's still thinking? You need to get

500
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: over it?

501
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: As of today?

502
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 1: Going no contact with her should be easy since the

503
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 1: daughter is an adult. What desperate measures has she taken

504
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: that you haven't mentioned in your posting comments. She was

505
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 1: stoic and held her position right up until she was served.

506
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 1: Then she became visibly upset and resorted to begging, pleading

507
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 1: and bargaining.

508
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 2: Barking, bargaining, bargaining divorce that attractive. Riley needs to know

509
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 2: he believes was attractive. Please tell us in the comments

510
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 2: it's barking attractive to women way wayward wife as they

511
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:33,879
Speaker 2: gotta stop at these freaking acrid just life means like

512
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 2: you're sending her off.

513
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 1: I guess so the other one, there's one the other

514
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: day flying monkey, which is someone it's a reference to

515
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 1: the Wizard of Oz who like tells people think like

516
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: a gossiper.

517
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:49,439
Speaker 2: Like we gotta slow our role on this flying monkey.

518
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:55,439
Speaker 1: But we have another update. What there's not too much report.

519
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 1: We are in the process of now getting a divorce. However,

520
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: where we live we must legally be separated for one year.

521
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 1: My soon to be ex wife has said that she

522
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 1: will give me whatever I want in the divorce if

523
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 1: I agree to attend marriage counseling. I am not interested. Plus,

524
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,400
Speaker 1: remember he has the house full and out right right. Yeah,

525
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: so he has whatever he wants already. There is a

526
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: bit of back and forth while we worked out what

527
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,360
Speaker 1: separation looks like in everyday life from this point forward.

528
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 1: As a result, we have only just agreed to the

529
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 1: confines of legal separation. So as we move towards the

530
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 1: defining divorcing language, maybe my stanch might change. The house

531
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 1: was a pre marital asset, so she has.

532
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 2: No claim to it.

533
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: The only things she could go after are my pension,

534
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: vehicles and vacation property. But I would counter that she

535
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 1: has lived rent free for twenty plus years and has

536
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 1: her own money. Plus inheritance from her father, which I

537
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: don't know how it works, but I could imagine that

538
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: she could probably go hard for some of that's that's

539
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: the lot of assets.

540
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, she could probably go after that. Yeah, inheritance you

541
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 2: can't get in a marriage, right, I least on another story. Right,

542
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 2: all feelings, no facts. Is it possible to get someone's

543
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 2: inheritance in a divorce chat? GBT four can now browse

544
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,879
Speaker 2: the web, analyzed data, and generate images without needing to

545
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 2: switch modes. Inheritance are generally not considered marital property and

546
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 2: therefore not subject to division and divorce. They are seen

547
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 2: as separate property belonging solely to the individual. Wow. Back

548
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 2: to the story.

549
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 1: I may have an offer to top up in retirement

550
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,440
Speaker 1: as she wants to be a stay at home mom

551
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: while our daughter was young, but that would be the

552
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 1: most At this point. I received a lot of messages

553
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 1: about her friend group and my daughter, so I will

554
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: clear up any misconceptions.

555
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: Now.

556
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,719
Speaker 1: My daughter isn't taking her mother's side. She's always been

557
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 1: a mama's girl, but she is very unhappy with her

558
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: mom right now. Her initial reaction was just shocked and

559
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 1: holding out that we would work through any issues and

560
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: stay together. Now she accepts that that's not going to

561
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 1: happen and that she will be limiting her interactions with her,

562
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,880
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, she is still

563
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 1: her mom. The friend group husbands were upset at the

564
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,119
Speaker 1: level of complicity of their wives in aiding and a

565
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 1: betting the contact and cheating, and made them cut my

566
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: wife out of their lives. WHOA, But that seems to

567
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: have been forgotten at this point. The BFF was the

568
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: ringleader and seems to have taken perverse pleasure in actively

569
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 1: creating scenarios where they would be in contact at the

570
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: very least encouraging to the point of causing her husband

571
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: to question her motives. But it turns out she didn't

572
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: like me at all and this was her way of

573
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: sticking to me. I guess she wins. The bff's husband

574
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: said that there were some sexting in his wife's messages,

575
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: but said he is dealing with it.

576
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,359
Speaker 2: WHOA, So she was she goes deep, goes deep.

577
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: We did meet up with him being apologetic for his

578
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,199
Speaker 1: wife's complicity, but it is not his fault and we

579
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,199
Speaker 1: just want to move on. I have decided to not

580
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: date anyone for a while. I will not be getting

581
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 1: married ever again, So that is it. I doubt I

582
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 1: will post again unless she wins the lottery and I

583
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 1: find it in my heart.

584
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 2: To forgive her. Wow, Opie, you've been through a lot. Yeah,

585
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 2: you threw a lot. I'm glad that you know. It

586
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 2: seems like op is very concrete in his resolve. Yes,

587
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: which is as good of a thing that you can

588
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 2: ask for. Like shitty shitty situation, but at least Sop

589
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 2: knows that this is the right decision for him, you

590
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 2: gotta give.

591
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: I think he did a pretty good job of like

592
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: standing up for any ground in a very healthy way

593
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: and just being like, I just don't deserve to be

594
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: treated like this.

595
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 2: I just I don't. I literally don't think he did.

596
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 2: The only thing is like maybe following the wife and

597
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 2: seeing me as a little weird weird. But I don't

598
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 2: think there's anything else that he did that was wrong. Like,

599
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 2: I feel like he handled the whole situation extremely well. Absolutely,

600
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 2: But I don't know what do you guys think? Like,

601
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 2: what would you do if you were Ope and your

602
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 2: partner came with you saying I want one haul pass please?

603
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 2: Would you shut it down immediately? And say divorce. Would

604
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 2: you entertain it? Let us know, put in the comments

605
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 2: and we have one more Oh geez, we got one

606
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 2: more story for you all in this monster episode. I'm ready,

607
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 2: let's do it. My girlfriend is convinced I'm cheating, so

608
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 2: she keeps snooping on my phone. I can't take it anymore.

609
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 2: So here's what I'm gonna do.

610
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna snoop on her phone. A little snoop for snoop.

611
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know you got your snoop cat, and

612
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: you got your snoop dog. Bow wow ow wow chasing

613
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 2: around the down. Also, this is from our beautiful r

614
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 2: slash okop show community on our subreddit. It comes from

615
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 2: Hello Painful four twenty. All right, let's get into the

616
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 2: story for context. My girlfriend and I have been dating

617
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 2: for a little more than a year. Ever since we

618
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 2: started dating, she has always had insecurities about me cheating

619
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 2: on her. As much as I understand her feelings, I

620
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 2: sometimes get the same insecurities. It's starting to take a

621
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 2: huge weight on a relationship. First of all, I got

622
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 2: two phones, one for my girlfriend and one for my lover. Okay, ken,

623
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: I have two phones, one that I use every day regularly,

624
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 2: and another one when I'm gaming play games like Minecraft

625
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: and Stardy Valley. So I need two phones to search

626
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 2: some stuff online about the games or to put music

627
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 2: while I'm gaming, so I don't kill my phone's battery. Damn,

628
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 2: that's dedication, dude. So he's a phone gamer. He's a

629
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 2: phone gamer. Okay, okay, I be a PC gamer something, dude. Yeah.

630
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 2: I never use a second phone for anything else. It's

631
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 2: taking some dust on the side until I have time

632
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 2: to game a little more. Second. I work in sales.

633
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 2: That means I go on work trips once a month

634
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 2: to promote different products. And I've noticed when I come

635
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 2: back to our apartment the second phone has been used

636
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 2: for like fifteen minutes on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram X and

637
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 2: Facebook Messenger. Hmmmm.

638
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: It's almost just enough time to check someone's DMS on

639
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: all this form for some moodies.

640
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 2: I can in front of my girlfriend about it, and

641
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 2: she shared with me her insecurities. We talked it out,

642
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 2: and I thought I calmed down her stress and anxiety

643
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 2: of me cheating when I'm away. Mind you, I am

644
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 2: obsessed with this girl. She's everything I've looked for in

645
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 2: my past relationships. Yes, We have her issues like any couple,

646
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 2: but we have good communication when we need to. I

647
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 2: never thought about cheating on her physically or even emotionally.

648
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 2: It has never crossed my mind. Even if I've got

649
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 2: a few girls flirting with me on different occasions, okay,

650
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 2: mister big man, big Man, I always turned them down

651
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 2: and said really clearly that I'm in a relationship with

652
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: my girlfriend. M Recently, I've noticed that my girlfriend has

653
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 2: been going through my phone at least once a day

654
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 2: to check my messages and exchanges with family, friends and

655
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 2: even customers. Mind you, my work field requires me to

656
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 2: keep contact with potential customers and build a good relationship

657
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 2: with them so they end up buying my products. I

658
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 2: talk with them only for work really on more personal topics.

659
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: But the last strawje on the last straw was this morning.

660
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: Oh god. I left for work as usual when I

661
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 2: got to the office and I noticed a notification from

662
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: WhatsApp that set a code has been requested to log

663
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: into a different phone, which meant my girlfriend tried to

664
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 2: log into my WhatsApp account to check my messages. Again.

665
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 2: If you don't know what WhatsApp is, you can only

666
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 2: access it through one device at a time, not too

667
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 2: so you need to log out from one to log

668
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 2: into a second, and even for that a password that

669
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 2: will be sent to the first one to confirm the change.

670
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 2: It's really well protected. Again, I use WhatsApp to talk

671
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 2: with customers and coworkers since a lot of them have

672
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 2: phone numbers from different countries. Now my patience with her

673
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:15,239
Speaker 2: insecurities has run its course. I message her saying that

674
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 2: once I'm back home, I will change my second phone's

675
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 2: password and I will turn off my location until she

676
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 2: fully trusts me since nothing ever happened concerning cheating since

677
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 2: we dated. She told me it strustes her out and

678
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 2: will just feed her insecurities. So here's where I could

679
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 2: be the asshole. I basically told her that after a year,

680
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 2: it wasn't my responsibility to reassure her every day about

681
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: her insecurities and she needs to work on it by

682
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 2: her self, which I think is true.

683
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: I mean, it can't get to this point, yeah, Like

684
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: it cannot get to this level.

685
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean like this is overstepping I think, like

686
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: the boyfriend girlfriend trust dynamic at a bare minimum, can't

687
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 2: do the actions based on it. I've tried everything to

688
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 2: gain her trust and nothing ever works, So I give up.

689
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 2: I'll change my passwords and turn off my location until

690
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 2: further notice. She's calling me an asshole for being insensitive

691
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 2: towards her feelings and by changing passwords, so that's turning

692
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 2: off my location. It just shows her that she's right

693
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 2: for doubting me, since I have stuff to hide, but

694
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 2: you haven't found anything in like a year of searching.

695
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 2: What does he have to hide?

696
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 1: And like deep intent, not just like oh like look

697
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: at it, she's deep, perusing deep like on a daily basis.

698
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 2: I told her that if she absolutely needs to know

699
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,239
Speaker 2: where I'm breathing, my daily dose of oxygen and who

700
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 2: I'm talking to so she ain't stressing out, she needs

701
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 2: a dog, not a romantic relationship. Bam, that's such a

702
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 2: like hilarious come back. Yeah, she need a dog. You

703
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 2: stoop and so much you need a dog. Goodness, And

704
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 2: that's a wrap. Dude. What do you think is is

705
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 2: op right in saying that? You know?

706
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, there's like maybe a better way of

707
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 1: saying it, but yeah, eventually he's right, Like you can't

708
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: let your insecurities, you can't just do anything you want

709
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: and something that's harmful to the partner and trusted for

710
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: the relationship because of your insecurities.

711
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 2: Exactly, exactly. There's a certain point where your insecurities are

712
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 2: damaging the relationship, and I think they've reached that point and.

713
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 1: There's a level of also like letting go and trusting. Yeah,

714
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 1: that's what trust is.

715
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 2: Trust is, you know, not knowing where your partner is

716
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 2: all the time, and trusting that they are going to

717
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 2: be doing well by the relationship. What about tracking? Is

718
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 2: every move that's true? What about air tags and everyone.

719
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 1: Choose and his shoes in his car, everywhere, in his mouth,

720
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: exanted in his penis.

721
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 2: O god. Yeah, but that I think is the end

722
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 2: of our double mega frickin episode. I hope you guys

723
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,959
Speaker 2: liked it. Yeah, hope you guys enjoyed yourself. And if

724
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 2: you have any crazy cheating stories, you should call us

725
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 2: right now. It's four four zero five zero eight six

726
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 2: five sixty seven. We are taking your calls and reacting

727
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 2: to them and giving you advice from them. So please

728
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 2: call us. We'd love to hear it. Or if you're

729
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 2: more of a typing kind, you can go to our

730
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 2: slash okop show on Reddit to submit your stories. There,

731
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 2: sent them in See you next time. You soon