WEBVTT - Stealing Baby Jesus

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<v Speaker 1>This is an iHeart original.

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<v Speaker 2>When he was a teenager, the shock rock singer Marilyn

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<v Speaker 2>Manson was in a war with Christianity. Raised in evangelical

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<v Speaker 2>religious schools in Florida, the teachings of Jesus didn't take root. Instead,

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<v Speaker 2>they seeded a desire to mock and lampoon Christianity. This

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<v Speaker 2>helps explain his whole deal, and it's also why Marilyn

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<v Speaker 2>Manson and his friends once went on a rampage one

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<v Speaker 2>holiday season and stole various icons of Baby Jesus from

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<v Speaker 2>nativity scenes. But apparently, not only did they steal the

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<v Speaker 2>infant Savior, they exchanged Baby Jesus for a ham, not

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<v Speaker 2>like a spiral cut honeybagged beauty, but a ham. Nonetheless,

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<v Speaker 2>the next day, the prankster teens sent a communicate to

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<v Speaker 2>the local newspaper. They wish to claim credit for their

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<v Speaker 2>Baby Jesus stealing crime spree. But here's where it gets

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<v Speaker 2>extra Marilyn Manson. The Florida teens claim they're a group

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<v Speaker 2>of black radicals. Their communicate says their crime spree is

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<v Speaker 2>meant as a protest of the quote plasticization of the

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<v Speaker 2>black man's wisdom with the so called White Christmas. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>he's whack. And obviously Marilyn Manson was already playing with

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<v Speaker 2>the electrified third rails of American culture, but he was

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<v Speaker 2>far from the first person to think it was a

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<v Speaker 2>good idea to steal baby Jesus. Welcome to very special

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<v Speaker 2>episodes an iHeart original podcast. I'm your host, Zarren Burnett,

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<v Speaker 2>and this is Stealing Baby Jesus. The act of stealing

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<v Speaker 2>a baby Jesus was so not new when Marilyn Manson

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<v Speaker 2>ran a muck in Florida, lifting a few baby Jesus

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<v Speaker 2>from the mangers, that, in fact, it was already a

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<v Speaker 2>TV trope back in the early days of television, back

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<v Speaker 2>when there were no reruns because all the shows were new.

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<v Speaker 2>In a nineteen fifty three episode of the cop show Dragnet,

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<v Speaker 2>detectives Joe Friday and Frank Smith get a call about

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<v Speaker 2>a stolen baby Jesus. Only, unlike most episodes, the detectives

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<v Speaker 2>can't solve the mystery of the missing figurine. They have

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<v Speaker 2>to tell the parish priest there's not gonna be any

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<v Speaker 2>baby Jesus this year. The episode ends on a sweet note, though,

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<v Speaker 2>when a little boy rolls up with the missing Baby Jesus.

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<v Speaker 2>He's pulling the Holy Infant in his wagon. But don't worry.

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<v Speaker 2>The kid didn't steal Baby Jesus. Nor maybe he did

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<v Speaker 2>and his guilt made him return it. The point is

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<v Speaker 2>stealing Baby Jesus is a holiday tradition. It's almost as

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<v Speaker 2>old a holiday tradition as the red and white Coca

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<v Speaker 2>Cola Santa Claus. In the decade just before the Dragnet episode,

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<v Speaker 2>stealing Baby Jesus was already a thing. If you check

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<v Speaker 2>old newspapers, you'll find that's. Starting in the nineteen forties,

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<v Speaker 2>headlines about a stolen Baby Jesus start popping up. For instance,

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<v Speaker 2>in the Opealaikah Auburn News December nineteenth, nineteen forty nine edition,

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<v Speaker 2>there are reports on a baby Jesus theft. The people

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<v Speaker 2>of Opelika, Alabama, collectively wonder quote who took Baby Jesus

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<v Speaker 2>from his crib and the outdoor Nativity scene at Saint

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<v Speaker 2>Mary's Catholic Church. As the paper reports, their baby Jesus statue,

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<v Speaker 2>which is the size of a large doll, gets stolen

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<v Speaker 2>on a Saturday night, and come Sunday morning, the padre

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<v Speaker 2>at Saint Mary's father Francis hey Big discovers the church's

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<v Speaker 2>missing Baby Jesus. That's when the local authorities get involved.

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<v Speaker 2>The cops have a short list of suspects. As a

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<v Speaker 2>local paper reports.

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<v Speaker 3>One church source said, the culprit could have been one

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<v Speaker 3>of three type persons, a drunk one who didn't like religion, or.

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<v Speaker 2>Obviously the police suspect may be super general. The cops

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<v Speaker 2>feel it covers all the bases. But of those three

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<v Speaker 2>types of person, none of them are master criminals. And yet,

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<v Speaker 2>in terms of recovering stolen Baby Jesus is the police

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<v Speaker 2>still often find they're outmatched. Try as the cops might.

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<v Speaker 2>Far too often, no Baby Jesus is ever recovered. In

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<v Speaker 2>case you didn't know it, Jesus returning is like one

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<v Speaker 2>of his superpowers. Now considered this case of the missing

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<v Speaker 2>Baby Jesus of Keensburg. In nineteen eighty one, Miss Keelan,

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<v Speaker 2>an elderly resident of Keensburg, New Jersey, wakes up to

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<v Speaker 2>find her Baby Jesus statue is missing. In fact, it's

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<v Speaker 2>been stolen and a ransom note has been left behind.

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<v Speaker 2>As Detective Dennis Rudd later tells reporters, the ransom note reads,

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<v Speaker 2>we have stolen baby Jesus. If you ever want to

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<v Speaker 2>see him again, leave fifteen dollars in a paper bag

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<v Speaker 2>in the manger. This is no joke, have no fear.

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<v Speaker 2>Detective Dennis Rudd has a plan to get back miss

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<v Speaker 2>Keelan's baby Jesus. As the detective tells it, he and

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<v Speaker 2>Patrolman Michael Kennedy were already quote full of the holiday spirit,

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<v Speaker 2>as in the pair of officers had been sipping on eggnog,

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<v Speaker 2>likely spiked with the good Irish whiskey. Now with their

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<v Speaker 2>bellies warmed, the two cops come up with a plan

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<v Speaker 2>to recover this nice old lady's stolen baby Jesus. The

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<v Speaker 2>cops tell the kindly elderly woman they're gonna run a

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<v Speaker 2>sting operation get back her baby Jesus. This pair of

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<v Speaker 2>cops plans to conduct a stakeout. They'll catch the thieves

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<v Speaker 2>when they come back for their ransom. Detective Rudd and

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<v Speaker 2>Patrolman Kennedy instruct missus Keelan to find a paper bag,

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<v Speaker 2>phill it with shredded paper, then put the bag in

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<v Speaker 2>the manger right where the stolen baby Jesus was taken. Meanwhile,

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<v Speaker 2>the two officers stake out the scene, They wait for

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<v Speaker 2>the purse and stay warm with some more spiked eggnog.

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<v Speaker 2>That's how I imagine the scene. Now, Old missus Keelan

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<v Speaker 2>does as instructed. She filled a bag with shredded paper

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<v Speaker 2>and left it in the manger for the baby Jesus thieves.

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<v Speaker 2>Cops watched the spot, and eventually someone indeed walks up

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<v Speaker 2>to the nativity scene. Suspicious, the cops leap out from

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<v Speaker 2>where they're hiding. They seize the would be Baby Jesus thief.

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<v Speaker 2>Only the man is missus Keelan's nephew. He hasn't heard

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<v Speaker 2>about the stakeout. He's only heard about the missing Baby Jesus,

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<v Speaker 2>and he came to check the scene of the crime.

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<v Speaker 2>The cops do not have their man. The nephew is

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<v Speaker 2>clearly not the kidnapper. After they failed to find the

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<v Speaker 2>stolen infant Savior, the pair of officers promised the kindly

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<v Speaker 2>utterly woman that quote police would help find a replacement

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<v Speaker 2>for the statue in time for next Christmas. But those

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<v Speaker 2>two officers who were quote so full of holiday cheer,

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<v Speaker 2>they don't have to follow through on their promise, because

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<v Speaker 2>there is a Christmas miracle acording to the local reporting,

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<v Speaker 2>which was syndicated.

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<v Speaker 4>The statue was found in a bag lying in a

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<v Speaker 4>manger from which it had been stolen earlier last week.

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<v Speaker 2>This poor, unfortunate Baby Jesus had seen rough times, back

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<v Speaker 2>to the syndicated news story, Although both.

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<v Speaker 4>The hands and the arms of the statue were bound

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<v Speaker 4>with plastic rope, the infant was not harmed.

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<v Speaker 2>After Baby Jesus makes his surprise return, Detective Rudd doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>hesitate to take credit. He's happy to report to the

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<v Speaker 2>press that police pressure must have scared the Baby Jesus thieves.

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<v Speaker 2>He takes the tack that once they knew the cops

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<v Speaker 2>were after them, it was only a matter of time

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<v Speaker 2>until they return the Baby Jesus, but no suspects were

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<v Speaker 2>ever arrested. Three years later, in Fitchburg, Massachusetts, baby Jesus

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<v Speaker 2>stealing thieves strike again. Presumably it's not the same thieves,

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<v Speaker 2>but again there is a ransom note. A syndicated UPI

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<v Speaker 2>story on December thirteenth, nineteen eighty four, runs with the

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<v Speaker 2>headline stolen Baby Jesus statue is returned. The thieves had

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<v Speaker 2>stolen a three foot tall, ten pounds ceramic Baby Jesus,

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<v Speaker 2>and they left in its place their ransom note. So

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<v Speaker 2>what's the price to get baby Jesus back? Well, the

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<v Speaker 2>ransom note read we have Jesus, we will hang them

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<v Speaker 2>unless the police leave five cases of Budweiser here January first.

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<v Speaker 2>There you go. The price of a baby Jesus is

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<v Speaker 2>apparently five cases of watery American beer. But this trade

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't get made because an anonymous tipster contacts the police.

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<v Speaker 2>Whoever they are THEEF or not. They tell the police

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<v Speaker 2>where they can find the missing baby Jesus. He is

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<v Speaker 2>in a snowbank, and sure enough, there he is, right

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<v Speaker 2>where he's promised to be. It's another Christmas miracle. But

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<v Speaker 2>who who are all these pranksters and amateur ransom artists

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<v Speaker 2>that want to steal Baby Jesus. More importantly, what's in

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<v Speaker 2>it for these baby Jesus thieves? The twentieth century trend

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<v Speaker 2>of stealing a baby Jesus has continued right on into

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<v Speaker 2>the twenty first century. Even with the ever present ring

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<v Speaker 2>cameras and all the surveillance cameras everywhere, people will still

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<v Speaker 2>brave the risk of prison just to steal a baby Jesus.

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<v Speaker 2>There's even a whole page of Wikipedia dedicated to the crime.

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<v Speaker 2>In twenty thirteen, the Boston Globe reported on a local

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<v Speaker 2>Nativity scene that had been stolen three times over the

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<v Speaker 2>last nine years, and that was nothing. In twenty fifteen,

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<v Speaker 2>the good folks in rural North Dakota had grown so

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<v Speaker 2>used to people stealing their Baby Jesus that the local

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<v Speaker 2>hardware store had to put up a sign. As their

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<v Speaker 2>local paper, The Pioneer Press, reported.

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<v Speaker 4>At Chiel's Home and Hardware and Fargo, the Earthly Father

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<v Speaker 4>and Virgin Mother, a holy family set for seventy four

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<v Speaker 4>dollars and ninety nine cents, sit on a shelf adoringly

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<v Speaker 4>hovering over a small sign that says, please ask for

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<v Speaker 4>Baby Jesus. For several years, the store has kept its

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<v Speaker 4>Baby Jesus statuettes off the retail floor because of experiences

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<v Speaker 4>with shoplifters.

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<v Speaker 2>That same year, further west on the Pacific Northwest Coast,

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<v Speaker 2>the Baby Jesus figurine became the most stolen item in

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<v Speaker 2>the Seattle, Tacoma area, as local station KIRO Channel seven reported,

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<v Speaker 2>and we asked an actor to recite.

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<v Speaker 1>Seattle's Capitol Hill Presbyterian Church had a five dollars plastic

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<v Speaker 1>baby Jesus stolen from its Nativity scene last December.

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<v Speaker 3>Quote.

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<v Speaker 1>It was as tacky as cheap as garage sale Baby Jesus,

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<v Speaker 1>mom and Dad as you could get, said Pastor James Carney.

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<v Speaker 2>Karad sale Baby Jesus. That's one hell of a band

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<v Speaker 2>if you're in the market. There's also gregory music from

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<v Speaker 2>Kaufer's Religious Supplies, a store there in Seattle. He told

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<v Speaker 2>the local press from KIRO Channel seven.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody likes a baby. They never steal the wise men

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<v Speaker 1>or camels or anything like that. It's always Baby Jesus.

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<v Speaker 2>Who wants a wise man or a camel. People wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>necessarily even know it's a Christmas related camel. Now a

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<v Speaker 2>baby swaddled maybe with a halo, that's what you call

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<v Speaker 2>the reason for the season. Pastor James Carney from Seattle.

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<v Speaker 2>He refused to let any stolen Baby Jesus become a

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<v Speaker 2>bummer for his parishioners. Under his lead, the Capitol Hill

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<v Speaker 2>Presbyterian Church decided to go songs Jesus for their Christmas

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<v Speaker 2>decorations because, as he, or rather the actor reading his

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<v Speaker 2>words will point out, it's just a symbol.

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<v Speaker 3>There'll be no Baby Jesus. You'll have to come into

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<v Speaker 3>the church and find the real Jesus. But in terms

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<v Speaker 3>of the tacky, lit up plastic baby Jesus that we

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<v Speaker 3>got from our garage sale, there will not be any

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<v Speaker 3>baby Jesus, and we cannot put out Mary and Joseph

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<v Speaker 3>Casette just looks kind of sad.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's what the real sting is, not the loss,

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<v Speaker 2>but rather how it feels to lose your Jesus. Stealing

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<v Speaker 2>from a church is a holy violation, but when someone

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<v Speaker 2>steals your baby Jesus, that's a far more personal, spiritual violation.

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<v Speaker 2>It can hit extra hard for the truly faithful. Just

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<v Speaker 2>ask Gloria Herrera of Richland Hills, Texas. She once found

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<v Speaker 2>her family's baby Jesus had been stolen. As Gloria said,

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<v Speaker 2>they took the family Jesus. How can anybody do that?

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<v Speaker 2>In the case of her stolen baby Jesus, the thief

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<v Speaker 2>was a teenage girl. There's no gender bias when it

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<v Speaker 2>comes to stealing a baby Jesus, but we don't really

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<v Speaker 2>know what the exact gender ratio is because if you

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<v Speaker 2>check the decades of news stories, you'll see the baby

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<v Speaker 2>Jesus thieves often aren't caught. In fact, they mostly get

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<v Speaker 2>away with. In the rare instances when the thieves do

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<v Speaker 2>get caught, it turns out that the purp is almost

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<v Speaker 2>always one of three usual suspects teenagers on a spree,

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<v Speaker 2>be it girls or boys. Or it might be older,

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<v Speaker 2>angry anti religious types making a point. Or there's the

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<v Speaker 2>last group, drunks acting on a wicked impulse. This is

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<v Speaker 2>all based on newspaper stories. You could also go with

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<v Speaker 2>the opinion of Mike Johnson. He's from Alliance Defense Fund.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a conservative Christian legal group.

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<v Speaker 3>I suspect most of it is childish pranks. Clearly they

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<v Speaker 3>are adults with an agenda to remove Christ from Christmas,

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<v Speaker 3>but they tend to occupy themselves with the courts in

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<v Speaker 3>courtroom of public opinion.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, if and when it is kids who steal Baby Jesus,

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<v Speaker 2>it doesn't necessarily mean they're bad kids. But don't listen

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<v Speaker 2>to me on that. Listen to Stephen Nissenbaum, former history

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<v Speaker 2>professor from UMass and and author of the book The

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<v Speaker 2>Battle for Christmas. He argues that the act of stealing

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<v Speaker 2>Baby Jesus is harmless by definition, at least for the purpse.

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<v Speaker 2>As Stephen Nissenbaum put it, and we had an actor recite.

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<v Speaker 3>What it means is that it's okay to go around

0:14:23.602 --> 0:14:26.882
<v Speaker 3>violating even pretty important norms as long as real human

0:14:26.922 --> 0:14:30.482
<v Speaker 3>harm isn't being done. It's not exactly devalue in Christianity,

0:14:30.762 --> 0:14:33.682
<v Speaker 3>but it is sort of a ritualized challenge to it.

0:14:33.682 --> 0:14:36.562
<v Speaker 3>It could be Christian kids doing it, and on January second,

0:14:36.842 --> 0:14:38.122
<v Speaker 3>they become good Christian kids.

0:14:38.122 --> 0:14:42.882
<v Speaker 2>Again, that's an interesting question to consider. Can one steal

0:14:42.962 --> 0:14:45.682
<v Speaker 2>Baby Jesus and still be a good person or even

0:14:45.842 --> 0:14:58.762
<v Speaker 2>a good Christian. They call it Christmas City, but that's

0:14:58.802 --> 0:15:02.802
<v Speaker 2>only a nickname. The town's government name is Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

0:15:02.842 --> 0:15:06.162
<v Speaker 2>It's a dream destination for those who love Christmas and

0:15:06.242 --> 0:15:08.922
<v Speaker 2>for those who loved to steal a baby Jesus. In

0:15:09.002 --> 0:15:12.522
<v Speaker 2>twenty sixteen, thieves struck in Christmas City, or in this

0:15:12.642 --> 0:15:16.402
<v Speaker 2>case the singular. It was a woman working alone. The

0:15:16.482 --> 0:15:19.762
<v Speaker 2>baby Jesus was in a nativity scene in the Bethlehem

0:15:19.802 --> 0:15:24.042
<v Speaker 2>public Square. The woman walked up, she appreciated the scene,

0:15:24.642 --> 0:15:28.522
<v Speaker 2>She looked around and was just her in Baby Jesus.

0:15:29.002 --> 0:15:33.602
<v Speaker 2>The temptation was too great, so yoiit. She walked off

0:15:33.602 --> 0:15:37.602
<v Speaker 2>with that holy infant. She was likely drunk, very drunk. Now,

0:15:37.682 --> 0:15:40.842
<v Speaker 2>the good folks of Christmas City couldn't, or rather wouldn't,

0:15:41.242 --> 0:15:44.362
<v Speaker 2>let some drunk cooke just come into Bethlehem steal their

0:15:44.402 --> 0:15:48.882
<v Speaker 2>baby Jesus and walk away. Except that's exactly what happened. However,

0:15:48.922 --> 0:15:50.882
<v Speaker 2>in this case, she doesn't get away with the crime

0:15:50.922 --> 0:15:54.562
<v Speaker 2>for very long. Tiny Baby Jesus of Christmas City is

0:15:54.602 --> 0:16:02.482
<v Speaker 2>eventually recovered. Sadly, though Baby Jesus isn't returned unharmed, he's

0:16:02.562 --> 0:16:06.402
<v Speaker 2>most definitely harmed. In fact, local police have to glue

0:16:06.402 --> 0:16:09.282
<v Speaker 2>the legs back on to Baby Jesus, which sounds like

0:16:09.322 --> 0:16:12.042
<v Speaker 2>a scene from a Scorsese film, like if he made

0:16:12.042 --> 0:16:15.522
<v Speaker 2>a Christmas movie. To make sure their baby Jesus is

0:16:15.602 --> 0:16:19.642
<v Speaker 2>never again stolen from Christmas City, the local authorities install

0:16:19.802 --> 0:16:23.882
<v Speaker 2>a surveillance camera trained on the Bethlehem Public Square. Locals

0:16:23.962 --> 0:16:26.842
<v Speaker 2>nickname it the Jesus Camp because if you want to

0:16:26.922 --> 0:16:29.362
<v Speaker 2>keep your baby Jesus safe, this seems to be the

0:16:29.402 --> 0:16:34.762
<v Speaker 2>most common response increased security instead of say prayer. Now,

0:16:34.882 --> 0:16:38.162
<v Speaker 2>some towns will try to chain their baby Jesus to

0:16:38.322 --> 0:16:42.002
<v Speaker 2>like a pedestal. That can work. Other folks often try

0:16:42.082 --> 0:16:45.722
<v Speaker 2>to nail their baby Jesus down to the manger. Now,

0:16:45.802 --> 0:16:48.882
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to nailing Jesus, as any good Christian

0:16:48.922 --> 0:16:52.122
<v Speaker 2>can tell you, Christmas is the wrong holiday for Jesus

0:16:52.162 --> 0:16:56.802
<v Speaker 2>and nails. That's Easter, which leaves the Christmas City solution

0:16:57.002 --> 0:16:59.722
<v Speaker 2>as the best and the most common option to safeguard

0:16:59.762 --> 0:17:04.322
<v Speaker 2>a baby Jesus from thieves. Surveillance cameras aka Jesus cams

0:17:04.882 --> 0:17:09.362
<v Speaker 2>got to keep an eye on that holy infant. There's

0:17:09.402 --> 0:17:12.842
<v Speaker 2>a company in New York called brick House Security. They

0:17:12.842 --> 0:17:17.282
<v Speaker 2>offer a rare service they call it GPS Jesus. You

0:17:17.362 --> 0:17:21.082
<v Speaker 2>can chip your baby Jesus statue just like a pet poodle.

0:17:21.442 --> 0:17:23.682
<v Speaker 2>That way, if someone comes and steals it, no matter

0:17:23.682 --> 0:17:26.042
<v Speaker 2>where they take them, you can go and save Jesus,

0:17:26.322 --> 0:17:29.322
<v Speaker 2>which is a fun little switch up. According to the

0:17:29.322 --> 0:17:32.282
<v Speaker 2>CEO of brick House Security, the real genius of their

0:17:32.402 --> 0:17:35.642
<v Speaker 2>GPS based system is that it's a CoP's best friend

0:17:35.962 --> 0:17:39.402
<v Speaker 2>as far as saving your stolen baby Jesus, a CEO

0:17:39.562 --> 0:17:40.882
<v Speaker 2>Todd Morris puts.

0:17:40.602 --> 0:17:44.402
<v Speaker 3>It, Normally, police have a difficult time dealing with property theft,

0:17:44.522 --> 0:17:46.962
<v Speaker 3>and some people think it's because police don't care about

0:17:47.002 --> 0:17:50.282
<v Speaker 3>theft of small objects, even if they're religious nature. But

0:17:50.322 --> 0:17:52.642
<v Speaker 3>it's not that police don't care, it's that they rarely

0:17:52.682 --> 0:17:53.882
<v Speaker 3>have the ability to act.

0:17:54.642 --> 0:17:58.762
<v Speaker 2>That's where GPS Jesus comes in. But that's not CEO

0:17:58.922 --> 0:18:02.362
<v Speaker 2>Todd Morris, that's an actor portraying him. Back to our

0:18:02.442 --> 0:18:04.922
<v Speaker 2>actor portrayal of CEO Todd Morris.

0:18:05.442 --> 0:18:08.722
<v Speaker 3>If somebody moves Baby Jesus, emails and text messages go

0:18:08.762 --> 0:18:11.002
<v Speaker 3>out and several people from our server and we can

0:18:11.082 --> 0:18:13.162
<v Speaker 3>check with him to see if there's a problem, if

0:18:13.162 --> 0:18:15.802
<v Speaker 3>he should be moving, if he shouldn't be moving. If

0:18:15.842 --> 0:18:17.802
<v Speaker 3>they call us and we say we can't find them,

0:18:17.882 --> 0:18:20.162
<v Speaker 3>we will log on while on the phone and interface

0:18:20.242 --> 0:18:23.282
<v Speaker 3>with local law enforcement to help them track down Baby Jesus.

0:18:24.162 --> 0:18:28.202
<v Speaker 2>Basically, the company tells the cops what GPS Jesus is

0:18:28.242 --> 0:18:30.762
<v Speaker 2>telling them, and then the cops go and save them.

0:18:31.402 --> 0:18:34.522
<v Speaker 2>But what happens when the cops actually catch the criminals

0:18:34.522 --> 0:18:37.842
<v Speaker 2>and the Purps don't just return Baby Jesus. Well, there

0:18:38.042 --> 0:18:40.962
<v Speaker 2>was a group of friends, three nineteen year olds who

0:18:41.082 --> 0:18:44.842
<v Speaker 2>stole a baby Jesus from a Methodist church in Forest, Virginia.

0:18:45.322 --> 0:18:49.962
<v Speaker 2>But then these brain geniuses posted a photo on Facebook

0:18:50.202 --> 0:18:51.642
<v Speaker 2>of them at the Nativity scene.

0:18:51.842 --> 0:18:53.362
<v Speaker 3>Nice, oh yeah, br They.

0:18:53.282 --> 0:18:56.682
<v Speaker 2>Literally posted evidence of their crime, which means it wasn't

0:18:56.722 --> 0:18:59.522
<v Speaker 2>hard to catch them. When they got busted, they caught

0:18:59.682 --> 0:19:04.362
<v Speaker 2>real charges. They were tried, convicted, and sentenced. The ringleader

0:19:04.402 --> 0:19:07.602
<v Speaker 2>got one year in jail, his two buddies sentenced to

0:19:07.722 --> 0:19:11.322
<v Speaker 2>sixty days behind bars, and all three had to pay

0:19:11.402 --> 0:19:15.802
<v Speaker 2>the church five hundred dollars in restitution. These larcenist nineteen

0:19:15.842 --> 0:19:18.442
<v Speaker 2>year olds did try to explain to the cops and

0:19:18.522 --> 0:19:20.922
<v Speaker 2>later to the court and the judge what they did

0:19:21.042 --> 0:19:22.962
<v Speaker 2>was just meant to be a prank, a joke, a

0:19:23.002 --> 0:19:25.922
<v Speaker 2>harmless bit of fun. It's not like baby Jesus got

0:19:26.002 --> 0:19:30.602
<v Speaker 2>hurt this time. But whether or not baby Jesus got hurt,

0:19:30.922 --> 0:19:34.602
<v Speaker 2>totally loses sight of what makes stealing a baby Jesus

0:19:34.642 --> 0:19:39.282
<v Speaker 2>so much damn fun. It's partly the fact that it's

0:19:39.322 --> 0:19:42.962
<v Speaker 2>a doll baby of Jesus. In the Christian tradition, God

0:19:43.042 --> 0:19:45.962
<v Speaker 2>became human and was born of a virgin named Mary.

0:19:46.442 --> 0:19:50.202
<v Speaker 2>Their holy son is Jesus, born in a manger, hunted

0:19:50.202 --> 0:19:53.882
<v Speaker 2>by the King of the land, survivor of a baby genocide.

0:19:54.162 --> 0:19:56.842
<v Speaker 2>It's a wild story, whether you believe it or not.

0:19:57.562 --> 0:19:59.882
<v Speaker 2>I was raised a Catholic, so try as I might,

0:20:00.002 --> 0:20:02.602
<v Speaker 2>I can't help but believe in the story even old

0:20:02.722 --> 0:20:06.562
<v Speaker 2>baby doll Jesus. However, you're not supposed to act like

0:20:06.602 --> 0:20:08.762
<v Speaker 2>the ba baby doll Jesus that you see in the

0:20:08.842 --> 0:20:11.642
<v Speaker 2>Nativity scenes is a baby doll. It's meant to be

0:20:11.802 --> 0:20:15.002
<v Speaker 2>a representation of God as a human being. Thus the

0:20:15.042 --> 0:20:18.442
<v Speaker 2>baby doll becomes sacred. And this is where we run

0:20:18.562 --> 0:20:23.162
<v Speaker 2>headlong into mass consumerism and the various plastic and ceramic Jesuses.

0:20:23.602 --> 0:20:26.602
<v Speaker 2>The fact you can buy a cheap plastic baby Jesus

0:20:26.602 --> 0:20:29.642
<v Speaker 2>that's supposed to be this revered holy icon makes it

0:20:29.722 --> 0:20:32.322
<v Speaker 2>funny to steal a statue of God as a doll baby.

0:20:32.802 --> 0:20:36.402
<v Speaker 2>Yet frankly, at the most soulful level, for some believers,

0:20:36.482 --> 0:20:38.722
<v Speaker 2>stealing a baby Jesus can even be a way to

0:20:38.882 --> 0:20:42.002
<v Speaker 2>restore Jesus to a more sacred place in your life.

0:20:42.202 --> 0:20:45.362
<v Speaker 2>If you don't know this. These days fewer folks attend church,

0:20:45.962 --> 0:20:49.362
<v Speaker 2>yet it seems people still take part in the holiday season,

0:20:49.482 --> 0:20:52.762
<v Speaker 2>all of its decorations and its festivities. This is how

0:20:52.922 --> 0:20:57.562
<v Speaker 2>Kurt Busiek, pastor of a manual Baptist in Parkersburg, West Virginia,

0:20:57.962 --> 0:21:01.482
<v Speaker 2>came to the conclusion that a stolen baby Jesus may

0:21:01.522 --> 0:21:05.602
<v Speaker 2>actually be a secret blessing. In twenty eighteen, Pastor Boussiek

0:21:05.722 --> 0:21:09.202
<v Speaker 2>told The New York Times quote, my thought is, hey,

0:21:09.322 --> 0:21:11.762
<v Speaker 2>if they steal one, we'll keep putting it out. I

0:21:11.802 --> 0:21:13.882
<v Speaker 2>can't think of a better way to get the message

0:21:13.922 --> 0:21:17.442
<v Speaker 2>of Christmas out than for people to keep taking Jesus home. Now,

0:21:17.522 --> 0:21:21.442
<v Speaker 2>there's a man who believes God truly works in mysterious ways,

0:21:21.802 --> 0:21:25.562
<v Speaker 2>and that's how. By stealing a baby Jesus, you're celebrating

0:21:25.682 --> 0:21:29.082
<v Speaker 2>the reason for the season. So maybe this holiday season,

0:21:29.322 --> 0:21:32.882
<v Speaker 2>go steal a baby Jesus, then return it and enjoy

0:21:33.162 --> 0:21:34.162
<v Speaker 2>a merry Christmas.

0:21:42.082 --> 0:21:45.042
<v Speaker 5>Very Special Episodes is made by some very special people.

0:21:45.482 --> 0:21:48.642
<v Speaker 5>This show is hosted by Danish Schwartz, Sarah Burnett, and

0:21:48.722 --> 0:21:52.562
<v Speaker 5>Jason English. Today's episode was written by Zaren Burnett. Our

0:21:52.602 --> 0:21:57.202
<v Speaker 5>producer is Josh Fisher. Editing and sound designed by Chris Childs,

0:21:57.522 --> 0:22:01.882
<v Speaker 5>Mixing and mastering by Chris Childs. Original music by Alice McCoy.

0:22:02.482 --> 0:22:05.922
<v Speaker 5>Show logo by Lucy Kntonia Let me thank our virtual

0:22:06.002 --> 0:22:10.802
<v Speaker 5>troop of voice actors Jonathan Washington, Chris Childs, Elizabeth Dutton,

0:22:11.082 --> 0:22:15.602
<v Speaker 5>Katie Maddie, Josh Fisher, and Zaron Burnett. Our Executive producer

0:22:15.682 --> 0:22:19.002
<v Speaker 5>is Jason English and on behalf of the entire Very

0:22:19.122 --> 0:22:23.642
<v Speaker 5>Special Episodes Family. I wish you a married Christmas, haty Honicah,

0:22:23.802 --> 0:22:28.762
<v Speaker 5>Happy holidays, have a joyous college football Bowl season, marry everything.

0:22:29.242 --> 0:22:31.962
<v Speaker 5>We'll be back next week, probably next Monday, with one

0:22:32.042 --> 0:22:36.002
<v Speaker 5>last episode of twenty twenty four. Very Special Episodes is

0:22:36.002 --> 0:22:40.082
<v Speaker 5>a production of iHeart Podcasts. Please do not go steal

0:22:40.242 --> 0:22:42.562
<v Speaker 5>Baby Jesus.