Speaker 1: You look so cute. I can't even stand it. Are
Speaker 1: you in like full overalls? Fuck? Yeah, Montana, look at
Speaker 1: you go? Hi Amber, Hilela, Welcome to an Unlikely Affair.
Speaker 2: Good day, my fellows. Welcome to another episode of an
Speaker 2: Unlikely Affair.
Speaker 1: Good day, mighty, Hi babe, Hi, how are you good?
Speaker 1: Every time I look outside, I'm like, you cannot beat
Speaker 1: what you wake up to at Amber's house outside?
Speaker 2: You really can't. It really is special, it is I
Speaker 2: like the topic today. You know, I used to be
Speaker 2: afraid of this topic, but now I'm just ready to
Speaker 2: grab it by the saggy balls.
Speaker 1: You and I have a very different and I think
Speaker 1: I have a very different I don't want to say outlook,
Speaker 1: but I think we have a different relationship with money.
Speaker 1: I have different relationship with money than most of my friends.
Speaker 1: And I think your relationship with money just comes from
Speaker 1: your experiences, right, what you've seen, what you've seen your parents,
Speaker 1: go through your grandparents, and then obviously you develop certain habits,
Speaker 1: and then whoever your partner is, and as you see things,
Speaker 1: you kind of move differently when it comes to your finances.
Speaker 1: I think, and prime example is I got invited to
Speaker 1: Vegas and this person was told me that he would
Speaker 1: book my flight and hotel and to me, which is
Speaker 1: this is just in my head, right, I'm like, if
Speaker 1: you book my stuff, this is now your trip and
Speaker 1: I'm a guest, and there's some sort of control here.
Speaker 1: If I book my flight and my room, this is
Speaker 1: my trip. I can technically do whatever the fuck I
Speaker 1: want because I got myself here and I'll see you there.
Speaker 2: It means freedom by booking your own stuff. It means
Speaker 2: I'm not obligated right to show up when you want
Speaker 2: me to to be in your room if you want
Speaker 2: me to to not you know what I mean. It's
Speaker 2: it's a very weird. But I'm so curious. How do
Speaker 2: you think from the outside looking in? And know? Oh,
Speaker 2: I don't care. I would love to your perspective on
Speaker 2: how my view of money differs from your view of money.
Speaker 2: Let's get real.
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't like this question because anything I are
Speaker 1: you going to get offended?
Speaker 2: I just said, okay, I'm not going to get offended,
Speaker 2: and if I do, I'll be like, wow, that hurt me.
Speaker 1: Example when which I think this is a great idea,
Speaker 1: but again, I feel like I'm turning over power to somebody,
Speaker 1: if a man wants to take you on a date
Speaker 1: and you have children, he should pay for child care
Speaker 1: if he wants to see you. That's what I think
Speaker 1: you brought that up as like an idea. I think
Speaker 1: it was one of my friends or somebody was going
Speaker 1: on a date and they didn't have and we were
Speaker 1: talking about how expensive child care is, and you had said,
Speaker 1: if a guy and I love where your head's at,
Speaker 1: just like if someone's willing to fly you out and
Speaker 1: put you up in a hotel room, get you your
Speaker 1: own room. That's supposed to be like a sweet thing.
Speaker 1: But because of my trauma, I immediately go, you want
Speaker 1: power over me. You're not paying for my stuff? Do
Speaker 1: you get what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And by the way, so I've had experience in both
Speaker 2: ponds where someone was like, here's like, I would love
Speaker 2: to take you out on a date, and I would
Speaker 2: also love to pay for your childcare for the you know,
Speaker 2: the two hours three hours that we go out.
Speaker 1: Someone's offered that, Yeah, wow, that's really nice. And then
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 2: People that have not you know, it's not even in
Speaker 2: the conversation. I have never taken money, but the idea,
Speaker 2: I just like the idea of them offering because it
Speaker 2: tells me more about their character and they're being thoughtful of, Like, Okay,
Speaker 2: she's a single mom. You know. It's the going rate
Speaker 2: in Los Angeles is thirty a minimum of thirty dollars
Speaker 2: an hour or thirty five dollars an hour, like most
Speaker 2: nannies or babysitters wants they want a minimum of four
Speaker 2: hours or three hours whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, so it's it.
Speaker 2: Eventually, you know, it adds up, and so especially when
Speaker 2: you're going on a first date with someone like at night, right,
Speaker 2: if you could do it during the day when the
Speaker 2: kids are in activities orre like, hey, I can grab
Speaker 2: a lunch with you or something like that, we can
Speaker 2: go for a hike, that's you know. Then it's like
Speaker 2: I don't it's fine. But I think for some women
Speaker 2: who really just can't because financially they are so strapped
Speaker 2: that total every frickin' dollar. So I think it says
Speaker 2: a lot about a guy when they can they could
Speaker 2: just offer it, you know, and I would never accept it.
Speaker 2: But I think again it's the idea of like they're
Speaker 2: being mindful and it feels good to be taken care
Speaker 2: of sometimes it really does.
Speaker 1: So that's where I mean that our relationship with money
Speaker 1: differs because I equate money to someone having control and
Speaker 1: power over me if they pay, whereas you are not
Speaker 1: as traumatized, I guess as me in that area where
Speaker 1: you can say, wow, that's thoughtful, that's sweep, and I
Speaker 1: immediately go, this is a red flag. Why would you
Speaker 1: want to pay for my stuff?
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. I was extremely traumatized after
Speaker 2: I got divorced, extremely hush. I don't even know why.
Speaker 2: It's making me emotional. I think this is a bigger
Speaker 2: moment for me right now because it's just a reflection
Speaker 2: of the work that I've done. And I want that
Speaker 2: freedom for you so badly because it's just taking your
Speaker 2: power back. Someone could think that they have power over
Speaker 2: you because of money, right, but really they don't. It's
Speaker 2: up to you to say, like, no, you should be
Speaker 2: doing that out of the kindness of your heart. It
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that I owe you anything. There's never there.
Speaker 2: This is not like an exchange, right unless there's an
Speaker 2: agreement beforehand. But I had to do a lot of
Speaker 2: work around my relationship with money because I gave up
Speaker 2: a lot of my twenties fighting for a career because
Speaker 2: I was conflicted, right, Like, I had a husband that
Speaker 2: was making movies all around the world at that time,
Speaker 2: and I was like, God, I want to be a
Speaker 2: woman who has, you know, following my pa as an actor.
Speaker 2: But I also have these two little kids that I
Speaker 2: didn't want to leave at home by themselves with a nanny,
Speaker 2: and it was really really hard, and so like, I
Speaker 2: think I would be in a very different financial position
Speaker 2: had I said, you know what, I'm going to go
Speaker 2: out and I'm going to go do what I want
Speaker 2: and I'm going to be selfish. And some women are
Speaker 2: career women and that's the choice that they make. I
Speaker 2: just couldn't do it because that's not the like you said,
Speaker 2: that's not the life that I came from. I watched
Speaker 2: my mom and dad build a business out of our
Speaker 2: three car garage that they converted to a two car
Speaker 2: garage as a construction company, and my mom was doing
Speaker 2: it all. Like my mom had no help. She was
Speaker 2: juggling taking three kids to basketball, golf like when we
Speaker 2: were in youth group like you name it, and then
Speaker 2: helping my dad run his business, and then on top
Speaker 2: of that, taking care of the like the house right,
Speaker 2: the cooking, the cleaning, the you know, the whatever. We
Speaker 2: had a horse, we had a goat at some at
Speaker 2: one point. It's really hard as a woman, and I
Speaker 2: still struggle with this, like big time. It's a it's
Speaker 2: a big thing, and I think a lot of women feel,
Speaker 2: you know, conflicted because at the same time, a lot
Speaker 2: of households needs they need two incomes. Life is just
Speaker 2: expensive now, so people don't have a choice.
Speaker 1: Yeah I did. I'm I feel badly the way that
Speaker 1: I said that to you, because I do know how
Speaker 1: hard your divorce was and how much you gave up.
Speaker 1: So when I when I said we have a different relationship,
Speaker 1: I meant in the present moment, because I do know
Speaker 1: how much you gave up, and I do know what
Speaker 1: that looked like when you guys parted ways, and how
Speaker 1: dirty you were done. Yeah, so I feel like I
Speaker 1: had to take this moment to tell you that I
Speaker 1: was not trying to diminish the work that you've done
Speaker 1: or what you went through and how difficult the relationship
Speaker 1: you've had with money and how it's evolved during the years.
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do that.
Speaker 2: No, I no, no, no, I don't apologize. I please
Speaker 2: don't apologize, because it wasn't that. The moment that I'm
Speaker 2: having now is like it's it's hard work. And when
Speaker 2: you say that you don't have that yet, I get
Speaker 2: emotional because I knew you were. I was in that
Speaker 2: position that you were, and I want that for you.
Speaker 2: You deserve to be taken care of and go out
Speaker 2: and have a bad ass career right and make your
Speaker 2: own money like you deserve that you It's not one
Speaker 2: or the other. In my opinion. It doesn't have to
Speaker 2: be with the right person. It doesn't have to be.
Speaker 2: So I want that. And yeah I was. I was
Speaker 2: done real fucking dirty in my divorce and I wanted
Speaker 2: my family and I wasn't smart, and you know, I
Speaker 2: signed a prenup when I when I was in the marriage,
Speaker 2: and it was it was bad, it was really bad.
Speaker 2: But I wanted so badly for my at the moment
Speaker 2: meant right, because I was still so sick. I wanted
Speaker 2: my family together so badly that I was willing to
Speaker 2: go to any length and if that meant I got nothing,
Speaker 2: in my mind, that meant I got nothing. I got
Speaker 2: the one thing that I got nothing, But I got
Speaker 2: everything At the same time, I got the one thing
Speaker 2: that I always wanted was my family. In the end,
Speaker 2: I made a lot of really dumb mistakes and maybe
Speaker 2: one day I'll write a book about what not to do.
Speaker 2: But would I sign a prenup again? If if I
Speaker 2: meet the right person and they ask, yes, I would,
Speaker 2: But I would be very it would be it would
Speaker 2: be different, right. I have a different relationship with money
Speaker 2: and what a prenup represents because mine was done while
Speaker 2: we were married, right after there was a lot of infidelity,
Speaker 2: so it was not done on the basis of if
Speaker 2: this marriage falls apart. The marriage was already falling apart.
Speaker 2: And then it was like shoving papers down my face,
Speaker 2: you have to sign this. Yeah, you were in your
Speaker 2: and he was already out of the house, and he
Speaker 2: already out of the house.
Speaker 1: And you were in your most vulnerable state going through
Speaker 1: a morning process. And can I tell you I almost
Speaker 1: gave up vander Pump rules for him.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he had asked me to do that. And I
Speaker 1: remember being in a parking garage being like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to do that. This is this
Speaker 1: is worth giving that up for. And my mom was like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck are you talking about? Absolutely not. Thank
Speaker 1: god I did it.
Speaker 2: Thank God we have women in our life, Like I know,
Speaker 2: if you were to come to me, or my mom
Speaker 2: were to come to me, or any other woman that
Speaker 2: I really trust in my life and say Amber, what
Speaker 2: the fuck? I would now I would now listen Because
Speaker 2: I had people telling me that I had attorneys saying
Speaker 2: do not sign this document, and I was like, I
Speaker 2: am signing it my family. I want my kids. I
Speaker 2: didn't want my kids to come from a broken home.
Speaker 2: So that prenup slash post up, whatever the you want
Speaker 2: to call it, because I remember I never knew what
Speaker 2: to call it. It represented so much for me. But
Speaker 2: now guess what, Like I'm sober, I'm wise, I'm like
Speaker 2: I'm stepping into a relationship with different intentions. If I
Speaker 2: choose to get married, it's like you just get to rewrite,
Speaker 2: rewrite what has been done. I don't know, That's what
Speaker 2: I feel.
Speaker 1: Can you still do this may sound so dumb? Can
Speaker 1: you still do some sort of documentation? Like if you
Speaker 1: choose not to get married, does can you still have
Speaker 1: like a prenup? Because let's say you're in a partnership,
Speaker 1: a committed relationship with someone for twenty seven years. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's a long time. Some vitual marriages signed licenses don't
Speaker 1: even last twenty seven years. So in that timeframe, you
Speaker 1: guys break up. I guess it would depend on what
Speaker 1: state you live in because of common law marriage. But
Speaker 1: I'm wondering because, as you know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: get married, but I feel like there needs to be
Speaker 1: some sort of documentation, whether you would still call that
Speaker 1: a prenup or not. I don't know where it's like,
Speaker 1: even if we have like a long life together and
Speaker 1: we build a lot, whatever is yours is yours, whatever
Speaker 1: is mine is mine, and we just get to part
Speaker 1: ways and call it a day, Like, I still feel
Speaker 1: like you have to have some sort of agreement.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I know that the laws have definitely changed.
Speaker 2: Whereas like if you were married for ten years you
Speaker 2: would get alimony for life. That is not the case anymore,
Speaker 2: I believe, not corn I think that that's actually changed,
Speaker 2: like or you could at least argue that you could
Speaker 2: have whatever document in your marriage. There's this guy, There's
Speaker 2: an attorney in New York that I follow. He's a
Speaker 2: very Instagram social media famous, and he talks about some
Speaker 2: of the weird things that people put in their pre nups,
Speaker 2: like weird like if you gain more than fifteen pounds,
Speaker 2: like fucked up stuff like not normal, unhealthy.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you, though, I don't know that that
Speaker 1: would actually hold up in court, because I remember during
Speaker 1: my prenup process I said, I want a clause in
Speaker 1: there that says, if you cheat, I get X. I
Speaker 1: remember my attorney being like, we can absolutely put that
Speaker 1: in there, but just know what we want. If it
Speaker 1: makes it into like litigation where you guys are at
Speaker 1: each other's throats because this doesn't work out, it's gonna
Speaker 1: get thrown out. That's not it's kind of It reminds
Speaker 1: me of when couples put in their agreement you can't
Speaker 1: introduce somebody, like during a custody case, you can't introduce
Speaker 1: the child to a partner unless you've been dating that
Speaker 1: person for at least a year. And it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that sounds really beautiful. I'm glad you guys could agree
Speaker 1: on that and you both signed off baptida. Let's just
Speaker 1: say one person breaks that rule and you're furious and
Speaker 1: you're like, I'm going in to see a judge. The
Speaker 1: judge would be like, I'm taking this out because you
Speaker 1: can introduce whoever the fuck you want to this child.
Speaker 1: There's just certain things that you may sign off on,
Speaker 1: but once it hits a judge, the judge can say,
Speaker 1: I'm vetoing this. It's stupid.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I think when you're in high net worth
Speaker 2: divorce cases, it goes more probably into mediation and then
Speaker 2: and sometimes you have to mediate and you can't go
Speaker 2: to trial, like you have to do mediation first, right, right, And.
Speaker 1: It also depends on where you are. I think there's
Speaker 1: some states that would be like, yes, we take infidelity
Speaker 1: very seriously. You have to pay for that. California. I
Speaker 1: remember we were talking about infidelity and they were like,
Speaker 1: you want to know what they said to me, Welcome
Speaker 1: to Hollywood, La La. I go, that doesn't fucking work
Speaker 1: for me. Sorry, doesn't work for me.
Speaker 2: Wait, I have a question. Did you guys have a
Speaker 2: prenup done before you guys we're gonna get married.
Speaker 1: We were in the process. I don't know if I've
Speaker 1: ever asked you this. We were in the process of
Speaker 1: doing the prenup and the next phone call to my
Speaker 1: lawyer was I'm leaving him, and I need a case
Speaker 1: number so that I can leave this fucking house with
Speaker 1: my child in tow and have him not call the
Speaker 1: police on me. So he goes, oh, that was this
Speaker 1: that changed very quick Amber. I wish that I could.
Speaker 1: The day those photos came out October fifteenth, I remember
Speaker 1: it like it was yesterday. I was blowing Daryl up.
Speaker 1: I said, Daryl, I need a fucking family attorney immediately.
Speaker 1: I'm leaving this person and I need to be teed
Speaker 1: up with my daughter now. Today it was like nine
Speaker 1: pm and I got a phone call from the family lawyer.
Speaker 1: That was like things changed quickly. I was just looking
Speaker 1: over your prenup. I thought that's why you called. I
Speaker 1: was like, no, oh mm hmm.
Speaker 2: You can't fucking write this.
Speaker 1: I know. And I remember the girl who was assigned
Speaker 1: in my case. She was like, la, la, just because
Speaker 1: I would call every day, where's my case number? Where's
Speaker 1: my case number? I can't leave without my kid. I
Speaker 1: he will call the police on me, He's told me.
Speaker 1: She was like, you just got a hang tight, I promise,
Speaker 1: see what's going to happen. And it was on The
Speaker 1: pictures came out October fifteenth, and it was October twenty
Speaker 1: seventh that I knew what I had to do make
Speaker 1: him feel comfortable enough to get the fuck out of town,
Speaker 1: and so I did. I remember walking down the stairs
Speaker 1: and I called him, babe, and I felt like I
Speaker 1: was gonna throw up, and I told him, I think
Speaker 1: I'm almost ready to let you back in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: We're gonna work through this, and then he was he
Speaker 1: had to get to Florida next day. He leaves. He's
Speaker 1: so sad, he doesn't want to go. Amber he just
Speaker 1: doesn't want to go. And I said, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: here when you get back. It's fine. Do what you
Speaker 1: need to do. As he left, I hit him with
Speaker 1: the phone call and said, you know, we don't need
Speaker 1: the nanny to come in or the housekeeper or anybody
Speaker 1: today because we're going to be out of the house
Speaker 1: and I'm going to take the kids because it's going
Speaker 1: to be my mom's last day. And he goes, your
Speaker 1: mom's going to go home. I was like, yeah, she's
Speaker 1: gonna leave tomorrow. She's flying out. His assistant calls me,
Speaker 1: Now he really thinks we're all good, Right, Lisa, the
Speaker 1: mediator is going back home Waters are calm. Assistant hits me,
Speaker 1: he's on the plane. I call my gaze. I was like,
Speaker 1: roll up the fucking minivans. They fucking roll up the
Speaker 1: mini vans. Jessica's covering every single camera with paper or
Speaker 1: so it looks like maybe we just had a package
Speaker 1: and they covered the camera outside.
Speaker 2: FedEx put the stamp, missed package, miss signature package.
Speaker 1: Packed whatever. I coult into those cars and was out
Speaker 1: that bitch amazing.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, long winded story about a prenup. So, in
Speaker 1: other words, yes, it was done, but it quickly turned
Speaker 1: into a custody custody paperwork instead. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I wish I had a different experience, but you know.
Speaker 1: What, Amer you were about twelve. I don't exactly I
Speaker 1: it would have gone very very differently had I been
Speaker 1: younger and not sober, So give yourself some grace.
Speaker 2: Out of the entire prenup, the only thing, well not
Speaker 2: the only thing, but one of the biggest things, the biggest,
Speaker 2: like ninety percent of my ah, Man, I really fucked
Speaker 2: up was I left the house. I should have asked
Speaker 2: for a house because let me tell you why. I
Speaker 2: begged him to buy a house, and we almost came
Speaker 2: close to buying many houses several times to have that
Speaker 2: like foundation to raise our children. Right, it was about
Speaker 2: like putting down roots somewhere, and he would never do it.
Speaker 2: He never We went from renting a house.
Speaker 1: We moved.
Speaker 2: I moved in my marriage. So I was married almost
Speaker 2: eight years. We moved seven times in eight years, every year,
Speaker 2: almost every year except for one house we stayed eighteen months.
Speaker 2: I was packing my entire family up and moving, and
Speaker 2: of course he was quote working when we were in
Speaker 2: the moving process. And that's the biggest regret is that
Speaker 2: I should have said, no, you want to go out
Speaker 2: and you you want to be with Laala, you want
Speaker 2: to go fuck other women, whatever you want to do,
Speaker 2: but you need to give me a house so I
Speaker 2: can continue to raise our children. Let me tell you something,
Speaker 2: I'm as much as I it really hurts me. Right,
Speaker 2: I don't think I would be where I am today.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be right.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have the drive, I wouldn't have the the like.
Speaker 2: I'm going to show my girls that, like, you can
Speaker 2: stand on your own two feet if you have the
Speaker 2: willingness to do uncomfortable things.
Speaker 1: And you've done a lot of uncomfortable things. Zamber and
Speaker 1: what you you know, I know that there's a lot
Speaker 1: that you gave up when you decided to, like, you know,
Speaker 1: really hone in on your family. I think it was
Speaker 1: Lily what is her name, She's the British singer Lily Allen,
Speaker 1: And she said, you cannot have it all. You cannot
Speaker 1: have a thriving career, be a present mother, be the
Speaker 1: wife that is a housewife. You can't be all of
Speaker 1: those things. And I think, yes, if you look back,
Speaker 1: you could say I picked this, that and the other,
Speaker 1: and I should have been smart and I should have
Speaker 1: done that. But the way and I know that your
Speaker 1: kids are at a difficult age right now. What age
Speaker 1: isn't difficult. I'm like, have a two year old, it's
Speaker 1: a really difficult age. But you can just tell how
Speaker 1: safe they feel. You're their rock. There's there's a bond
Speaker 1: there that I don't think you can always feel because
Speaker 1: you're in the thick of it. But as an outsider,
Speaker 1: you know, you're like Riley's at a stage where she's
Speaker 1: not nice to me, and I'm like, well, she calls
Speaker 1: you about four hundred times a day, so there's gotta
Speaker 1: be something.
Speaker 2: If they're punching bag. I am their punching bag.
Speaker 1: That is. But they know that there's unconditional love there.
Speaker 1: You are going nowhere, You're always going to show up,
Speaker 1: You're always going to pick them. They have watched you
Speaker 1: pick up your life and make really hard decisions, leaving
Speaker 1: when it doesn't suit you anymore, forgiving when you feel
Speaker 1: like something becomes a cancer and you need to let
Speaker 1: it go. You have really done an amazing job. And
Speaker 1: I think you need to give yourself credit. And I
Speaker 1: think at this stage of your life is now when
Speaker 1: you're going to reap the benefits of the financial aspect
Speaker 1: of things. Now is your time that thank you.
Speaker 2: That felt like a little like.
Speaker 1: Psychic it did it? Did it?
Speaker 3: Did?
Speaker 1: I felt like you were reading me.
Speaker 2: I was like, wait, tell me more.
Speaker 1: I just feel that way. You know, I think you did.
Speaker 1: I believe you did it the right way. And the
Speaker 1: road was really, really tough. But look at the bright
Speaker 1: side of having kids so young. You're thirty seven, You're
Speaker 1: fucking hot. Your life is far from over. Most people
Speaker 1: have kids much later, and by the time they're raised
Speaker 1: in on their own it's like, oh my god, now
Speaker 1: is when I start. It's a pretty intense feeling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the problem now, I'm just just I'm tired, like
Speaker 2: you know, because I've been doing it since I was
Speaker 2: you know, my mom started when she was sixteen, and
Speaker 2: I think about her and I'm thinking, like, why does
Speaker 2: like my mom was so young, And now I get
Speaker 2: why she's tired because she's been You know, even when
Speaker 2: you're sleeping, you're still thinking about your kids. Subconsciously, You're
Speaker 2: still worried about your kids, you know what I mean. So,
Speaker 2: but no, I'm really I'm I will I'll say this.
Speaker 2: I'm more driven than I've ever been. I have a
Speaker 2: clear idea of what I want. I have goals that
Speaker 2: I want and I've said this to you privately off
Speaker 2: of the podcast. I have this internal knowing that everything
Speaker 2: is going to work out, and it's I don't even
Speaker 2: know what it is. It's just like I feel like
Speaker 2: I trust myself for the first time, whereas I could
Speaker 2: never be in control of my life, my finances, trust
Speaker 2: myself in a relationship because I didn't one, I didn't
Speaker 2: grieve my marriage that happened. I got really honest with myself,
Speaker 2: became sober, have a genuine, honest, loving, healthy relationship with
Speaker 2: you I'm honest with my kids, and I always tell
Speaker 2: my kids the truth. And I'm like, oh, okay, this
Speaker 2: is when life can get really big and good if
Speaker 2: I just keep showing up and not trying to control
Speaker 2: everything and just surrender, like surrender what they teach us
Speaker 2: in the program. It's a program of action, and you
Speaker 2: just have have to have faith and not the kind
Speaker 2: of faith that I grew up in the Mormon Church
Speaker 2: that to me was like a faith that was not
Speaker 2: I couldn't relate to it right, that was like textbook faith.
Speaker 2: Now it's like i sit outside with my cup of
Speaker 2: coffee and I'm meditating and I'm listening to my Alan
Speaker 2: Watts and I'm listening you know, reading you know AA
Speaker 2: material and I'm praying and I'm thinking, okay, God, I'm
Speaker 2: connecting to you now, like I really get connected. And
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, I'm gonna be Okay, it's good, it's
Speaker 2: fucking good. Let's go, let's go.
Speaker 1: I always think of Danny from the Valley when someone
Speaker 1: says let's go. No, don't worry about it now, I'm
Speaker 1: only going to think of you. I will say this
Speaker 1: because this is going to be and I believe I've
Speaker 1: talked about this before, but I want to tell you
Speaker 1: I don't knock anybody's hustle. Right, if you are a
Speaker 1: quote unquote sugar baby and you've got a guy who's
Speaker 1: paying your rent, or for your car, or buying you
Speaker 1: bags and shoes and all the things, I would demand.
Speaker 1: Whatever my rent is, I need the same amount in cash.
Speaker 1: Whatever that bag costs, I'm gonna need the same amount
Speaker 1: in cash. You don't want to do that, then I
Speaker 1: don't want the bag, and I want the fucking cash.
Speaker 1: You have to fucking be smart. You can't do anything
Speaker 1: with paid rent. You can't do anything with a paid car,
Speaker 1: you can't do anything with a fucking Louis bag. It
Speaker 1: all looks very cute, but when when you tap out
Speaker 1: and you enter thirty and he goes and finds his
Speaker 1: twenty something year old and you're no longer the sugar
Speaker 1: baby because you're too fucking old. You're like, well, daddy
Speaker 1: stacked me up, so I really don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: I've got enough money now to go buy my own house. Well,
Speaker 1: that's a business.
Speaker 2: When you're in that kind of relationship, it's like a yes,
Speaker 2: it's a different type of business.
Speaker 1: So it is a business. It's just it's George J
Speaker 1: me because I'm young and hot and will fuck you
Speaker 1: like a stripper. And I'm dating you because you have money.
Speaker 1: So now it's time to show me how much you
Speaker 1: really got, Like, are you actually a brokester? Because I'm
Speaker 1: gonna need I'm going to need both. That would be
Speaker 1: my that would be my advice to anybody who's sugar babying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, by the way, cash is everything, And I would
Speaker 2: take and I'd put it a little bit in the
Speaker 2: stock market because it's me. I love a good stock market,
Speaker 2: love a good stock market, baby, I love a good
Speaker 2: by the way like account. Right before this, I went
Speaker 2: on my my my app that I use, and I
Speaker 2: was like, all right, we've really got to turn things around,
Speaker 2: Like we've got to do some deep diving because the
Speaker 2: market's not doing that great right now as of today.
Speaker 2: But no, you have to be smart with your money.
Speaker 2: And that's the thing.
Speaker 1: And if he takes you to Vegas and gives you chips,
Speaker 1: don't gamble, just go cash them in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and go buy yourself a coffee and people watch. Oh,
Speaker 2: there was a lot of that.
Speaker 1: Yep, move smart, move smart Ladies, get the prenup, get
Speaker 1: the cash and the chanel. That's what I say. I've
Speaker 1: learned a lot in my whole days. And never quit
Speaker 1: your job for a man.
Speaker 2: Never never sorry.
Speaker 3: That was really preach, bitch, Never prayant, never quit your
Speaker 3: job ever, because remember, your career will never wake up
Speaker 3: in the middle of the night and tell you it
Speaker 3: doesn't love you anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave you with that, Lady Gaga, You're welcome.
Speaker 2: That was your That was an epic sign off. Thank
Speaker 2: you everybody for another great episode of an unlikely affair. Amen,
Speaker 2: I love you, Amber, love you too, baby girl. We'll
Speaker 2: catch you next week.
Speaker 1: Bye.