WEBVTT - You're Not Even a Citizen??? 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:16.520 and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:19.360 on the air. Happy Wednesday, y'all, welcome back to get 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:22.800 another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl just hilarious. I'm 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:25.000 gonna up straight and we got more voice notes. I 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:27.880 love it, y'all, I love this ship. I still got 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:31.040 a lot of stories to read. What I'll revisit that 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:34.320 next week. We're gonna start with the voice notes. Make 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:37.280 those priority this week. How I'm gonna do it is 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:41.440 I'll do for the first two weeks out of the month, 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.479 I'll do voice notes, and in the last two weeks 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:47.400 out of the month, I'll do the red stories because 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:50.400 I still want you guys to send in paragraphs or whatever. 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:53.400 I joke and play. When I say, you guys, don't punctuate. 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:55.360 I can read through it and I can make sense 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:58.240 of it unless you just playing damn slow. All right, 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.920 get your ship together. We're gonna start off, jump straight 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:05.080 into it. Here we go. Hey, Jess, I just want 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:08.600 to say I've been listening to since episode one of 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:11.240 this podcast, and girl, I love you. I love you, Rails. 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.280 I missed just with the mess, but I know why 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:16.319 you stopped doing it with your son and Chadwick, and 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:19.479 I respect that. But anyways, my mass is family related, 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:22.760 and I'm gonna try to keep it shorter than it 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:26.039 really could get. So I have a cousin, and me 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:30.200 and that cousin grew up kind of like sister brother cousins, 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.440 similar age, and we got to be older, you know, 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:36.559 groups mingo, I have a date his friends, he would 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.440 did a few of my friends. Always was you know. 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.480 That's how it went. As we got a little older, 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:42.760 it started to seem like he wanted to kind of 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:45.520 shut me out but still dat my friends. So I 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:48.840 had a friend and at the time, he had a 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.040 child on the way, and I invited my friend to 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:54.960 a family event. She met my cousin, unknowing to me. 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:58.480 They exchange numbers. Fast forward a few weeks later, him 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:01.680 and his baby's mother fell out because she went through 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:04.880 his phone and found messages of him and my friend. 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:08.000 When I approached my friend about it, she kind of 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:09.880 told me, basically, it's none of your business. I didn't 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:12.120 tell you it's not your business, So I left it 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:15.359 at that. Um From there, she kind of just distanced 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:17.320 herself from me and let it be known that she 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:19.720 didn't want to be my friend no more. Basically, she 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:22.679 got what she was there for. So that was the 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.280 end of our friendship. My cousin and I never really 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.640 mended things back to where we were, but you know, 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:30.120 feeling his family and I still was around him here 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:32.520 and there. He meets another friend of mine, the same 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:36.160 thing things go left with them. She's actually a closer 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.760 friend of mine, and she tells me what he actually 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:42.240 says about me when he's with her, the things he 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:45.840 says about me, and gives me insight on why every 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:47.799 time he dates one of my friends they stopped being 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:52.240 my friend. He was going as far as saying anything 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:54.639 that you hear from my cousin, don't believe it. Just 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:59.720 completely assassinated my character, just attacking me and making me 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:02.240 out be somebody I wasn't because he was a piece 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:06.200 of ship, to say the least way, cheating, running around 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.360 and always assumed that I was going to be the 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:11.400 reason why he got caught up instead of realizing that 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:13.000 everything you do when the dark comes to the light. 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.520 So now after I'm aware of this is what he 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.440 says about me, I've just sense myself even more the 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:21.839 girl that I was originally friends with that stop being 0:03:21.840 --> 0:03:23.919 friends with me has been in the background all this time, 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:27.880 and now she's pregnant, he's gotten himself into legal trouble, 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.640 and she's going to be dealing with a child on 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:35.400 her own for a bit. I have history with that 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:38.480 particular situation, not with the child, but with having the 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:42.040 loved one go away because of the law, and I'm 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:45.160 battling should I reach out to her After everything I've done, 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:48.480 I've lost two good friends behind my cousin, but essentially 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:50.840 those were not my friends. I've come to terms with 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.200 that also that if they were supposed to be my friends, 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:57.400 they'd be in my life, and it's you know, I 0:03:57.160 --> 0:04:00.040 I take responsibility for still allowing him to be on 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:03.240 my friends, but I also understand that again, if they 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:05.400 were my friends, they would be there. I respect the 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:07.520 second one more because she at least was honest with 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:11.240 me about it, But I'm battling with the fact that 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.160 the first one is carrying a child that is a 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.640 part of my blood, and then also knowing what she's 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:18.760 gonna be dealing with because my cousin is going to 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:20.839 be away, and I don't know if I should reach out, 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.120 or if I should just be like, bitch, fuck you, 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:26.240 this is your karma from five years ago, because I 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:29.200 told you why, it's not the funk with him. Help me, Jess, 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:32.479 help me girl. Girl. First of all, I just want 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:34.960 to say, you sound just like Gabrielle Union girls. Where 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:36.960 to God you got the Gabrielle Union voice. Hey, you 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:38.880 sound like somebody else, but that is not why you're 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:42.560 writing me today, all right, So anyway, let's get into it. 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.920 I love your voice, by the way, girl, the raspiness, Girl, 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:49.039 I listen. I ain't weird and nothing like that. I 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:53.280 just love certain voices, girl, and yours is one of them. Okay, 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:56.120 So you can go about this two different ways now, 0:04:56.200 --> 0:04:59.480 and you would be totally within your right, well within 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:02.920 your right to pick either one. Now. The fact that 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:05.400 he does have a child on the way, and he 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:09.359 is by the first friend who was gonna be destined 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:12.360 to get that karma one way or another. This is 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:14.599 still your blood. So I can tell that you're a 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:16.360 family person, you know, like you said, you and your 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:19.159 cousin were raised as siblings, you know, and you see 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:21.920 that a lot in families period. You know. I was 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:23.760 gonna say black families. But I mean because that's the 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:25.520 only race that I've seen it, and because that's the 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.760 only race I am. But we do that. You know, 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:31.080 my cousin London was raised as my sister. You know 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.359 my cousin Terrell was raised as my brother. And we 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:37.320 are big on family, a very big family oriented family. 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:40.320 So I do understand that. Now, although you and your 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.120 cousin are not as tight as you guys used to 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:44.200 be thanks to the females and all the ship that 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.760 he does or whatever, you seem to still have a 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:49.360 certain attachment. You always have him in your heart somewhere 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:50.960 because you guys were raised together. It's a lot of 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:53.800 history there now. Just wasn't regular cousins. Y'all were like 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:57.880 siblings slash cousins. So I get it. That's a bond there. 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:00.000 It's just been tampered with a little bit, but it's 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:02.640 still nonetheless a bond. I know you would love to 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:05.640 see his child grow beautifully and you know healthy. I 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:07.080 know you would love to be there for the birth. 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.560 I can just tell. I can hear it in your voice. 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.839 You love your cousin still and you would love anything 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:13.240 that he produced and that and that would be a 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:17.920 baby and your first friend child. Now, listen, I ain't 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:21.120 gonna let my personal experiences and how I feel about 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:24.680 it dictate how I speak to you with this situation, 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:27.320 because I'm not gonna be biased at all. But Karma 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.080 was definitely knocking at her door. She answered it, she 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:33.159 got it. I would only reach out to her if 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.000 it is only about the baby, just to be honest 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:39.560 with you, because females like that, they don't tend to change. 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.560 And she was already grown when she made this big, 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:47.000 gass grown decision at her big age. And then your 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:50.840 cousin just moves so recklessly. He didn't never seem to 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:53.599 be serious with either of your friends. It's just females 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.400 that he was just fucking And you were forewarning these 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:59.240 girls and they're still just going along with it, you know, 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:01.600 like all whatever, whatever, because I bet he find it's hell, 0:07:01.680 --> 0:07:05.279 ain't he? I bet he fucking fine? Child? Please, But 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:08.320 what's significant about your story is his family. I get 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:11.360 a lot of relationships, stories and questions and and things 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:14.480 that I would advise people on, but this is family, 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:16.960 and so this is a little bit more delicate, you know, 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:20.080 because y'all are always going to be blood. I want 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:22.320 to know have you talked to him since he's been 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:24.480 in jail, because obviously that's where he is. You said 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:26.600 he got into some legal trouble in this girl. She 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.000 will be raising the baby on her own for a while, 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:31.240 and then he has another baby as well, because he 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:32.720 had a girlfriend the whole time he was sucking with 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:36.280 your friends. Man, niggas everywhere. Well he was everywhere and 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:39.840 now he is in one place for a long time. 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:44.960 But um, have you talked to him? Has he written you? 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:47.520 Has he wrote you? Has he you know? Is there 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:50.160 are there letters? Like? Because I think that you should 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:53.120 speak to him first as well. I mean it's not 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.960 not to ask his permission about the baby, but I 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:58.560 think you should kind of bridge that gap to reconcile, 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:00.440 be the bigger person and kind of get through to 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:03.120 him a little bit. Like, look, man, we were raised 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:06.840 a particular way. We were raised as brother and sister. Okay, 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:09.440 we got older, we went our separate ways, and you know, 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:11.520 you started dating my friends, and you know you you're 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:14.680 a womanizer, You're not really a loyal, faithful guy. So yes, 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.200 I told my friends. I was forewarning my friends. I 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:19.200 didn't want to see my friends hurt. You're always going 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:21.240 to be my cousin. You were in a relationship, for 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.120 God's sake, so I was actually trying to save you 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:25.960 two and save the damn girl that you were with 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.760 who had your baby. You know at that time, do 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:31.119 you walk around get one of my friends pregnant, wasn't 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:33.440 even with her. Then you fuck enough one of my 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:36.800 friends and the cycle would have probably still been going 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:39.520 on today if you were physically able to fund more 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:42.000 friends of mine. I don't think you should blame yourself 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:43.920 for any of this, Honey. I heard you say, you know, 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:46.000 it's my fault that I put him around my friends. Now, 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:48.840 all people are people, it's social. You could be around 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:51.199 women that Nigga can be around women without sickeness, dick 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:54.000 in one. It don't matter. No, that's not your fault. 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:56.640 You're not his supervisor. You don't have to supervise his 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:59.559 interactions with women just because they're your friends. You shouldn't 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:01.920 feel that. I think you should reach out to him, 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:05.440 Definitely have a conversation with him and just be real 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.480 and told him you have this baby on the way by. 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:10.800 You know one of my former friends, and I want 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:12.400 to reach out to her. I don't know how you're 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.959 feeling about it. Do you think it's yours? First of all, baby, 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:17.320 find out if because you know, these bitches ain't ship, 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:19.880 maybe lie and we know what type of friend the 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:22.920 first one is, so we don't know. But find out 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:24.839 if the baby is his, and see if he even 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:27.520 thinks it his or whatever. And out of the love 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:30.560 for the baby would be the only fucking reason that 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:32.600 I would reach out to her. But to be honest, 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:35.440 if I can give you my like what I would do, 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:38.720 I wouldn't. I wouldn't reach out at all. I wouldn't. 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:41.480 You're gonna get to know the baby, you're gonna grow up. 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.040 And then that friend may even have animosity towards you, 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:47.160 because nobody likes to meet the person that told them 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:49.960 that they would be here one day and they're actually there. 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.240 Nobody likes that I told you so. And even though 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:55.040 you're probably not that type of person, she's gonna feel 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:57.840 that off the rip, and she's gonna already be probably 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:00.040 bitter towards you because now she's in to such a 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:02.280 waition that she never thought she would be in had 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:06.160 she listened to her friend that one year she wouldn't 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:09.520 be here but yes, it's out of the the cookie crumbles. 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:13.079 So only if it's about the baby, if the baby 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:17.080 is his. But if not, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. But 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:19.920 check back in with me, girl, check back in now. 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:21.720 We got a commercial and if you click off of 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:26.360 this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Alright, 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:30.120 moving on, guys, Hi, juss I had a question for you. 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.599 I recently ended my relationship of a year and a 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.200 half with a man. We lived together. We don't have 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:38.640 any children together, but he was very close with my children. 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.560 He didn't have any children of his own. But I 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:44.360 end up the relationship for a couple of different reasons. One, 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:47.200 I had helped him apply for a better job because 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:50.000 he wasn't he was working a minimum wage job, and 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:53.480 through that I found out that he was not a 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:56.880 US citizen, and so he lied to me about his citizenship, 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:59.079 which is a red flag for me because I'm in 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:01.280 the military and that could have affected me and my 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:04.760 clearance to I ended the relationship because over a year 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:06.680 and a half, I never got to meet his family, 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.280 even though they're here locally, and that's a reflect to 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:11.720 me because I want a family who's going to embrace me, 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:16.200 my children and just the lying and all that. But 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:19.000 I still feel so bad about ending the relationship because 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:21.240 I still have love for him. How am I able 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:25.320 to move on from this? Because it wasn't like it 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:28.559 ended nasty per se. It was just I got to 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:31.880 a point where I couldn't accept what was happening anymore 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:36.080 because that was a huge lie. And then the family 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:38.680 thing really threw me off. But my question to you 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:43.040 is how can I move forward and moving on from 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:46.360 this relationship. I could really use any advice that you have. 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:49.079 Thank you so much. I love you and your comedy. 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:52.520 Oh you're so sweet. Thank you girl. I appreciate that. 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:55.400 I appreciate that you love my comedy and also appreciate 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:59.400 what you do for your country. So with that being said, yes, 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:04.000 they're there's no way that he could have possibly thought 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:08.080 to not eventually tell you the truth when he realized, 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:13.040 like how detrimental ship could have gotten for you and 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:15.520 your family, Like you said, they could have affected your clearance. 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:19.040 That's a bold lie. That's a huge lie. Now, I 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:23.640 do understand sometimes people keep these type of things from 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:29.440 people just protecting themselves from being broken up with or 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:32.640 you know, from being looked that crazy or being deported, 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:35.520 or but you loved him. You know, you are in 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:37.520 a relationship for over a year and a half, so 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:41.200 you think I'm gonna be with you and you don't 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:43.440 tell me about this ship, but I gotta find out 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:47.360 because I'm actually trying to help you work, girl. So 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:50.280 what I would say, what could also be an option, 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:54.120 is that he knew that the only way that he 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:56.760 could be granted citizenship is if he could get married. 0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:02.040 I think that he probably wanted to you you, to 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:04.839 marry him, really really fall in love with you, because 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.560 he probably didn't have any money because you obviously you 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:09.160 said he was. He was trying to get him a job. 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:12.120 You know, usually people come over here and they pay 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:14.480 for someone to marry them so they can get their card. 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:16.720 You know what I'm saying. I know lots of people 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:20.440 that has has done it. That's a real thing. But 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:22.600 because he knew he didn't have any money, he just 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:26.240 chose to do it the more fucked up way. And 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:29.280 I think he still felt for you. I'm not saying 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.640 you don't love you. I'm just saying maybe that wasn't 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:35.160 the initial agenda upon meeting you, and you're in the 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:37.280 military and all that, because that could be the only 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:40.520 reason why I'm thinking that this man didn't tell you 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.760 about that ship, like you and your family could be 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:45.920 going through some ship right now because he didn't keep 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:48.440 it up front with you. That's not good to even 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:52.800 put you and your kids at jeopardy like that. So 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:54.480 do you really love me? Was this year and a 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.360 half fake or what? Like? I need some fucking answers, 0:13:57.520 --> 0:13:59.559 you know what I'm saying? Like that, that is me 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.600 speaking as you demanding for answers. They're like, just be 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.240 honest with me. I already love you, We already did 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:07.960 the work in the relationship. Is this real? Do you 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:10.240 love me? Or did you just have a plan to 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:14.760 be granted citizenship and you use me to do so eventually? 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:16.559 Because like you said, you want a family, So I 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:18.800 know you have talked about marriage, y'all had to. I 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.680 don't even have to ask you that. I know that 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:24.960 because you want a family, you want his family to 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.400 accept your kids. You've been his girlfriend for over a 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.400 fucking year and to something that may not be a 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:32.640 lot of time. That's a lot of time to me, 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:35.240 especially if you're around my kids and and you know 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:38.200 you know my family and I don't know yours. Yes, 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.920 that's a red flag, Yes, ma'am. Why the hell didn't 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:43.920 I get to meet your mom? Why the hell can't 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:47.640 I meet your family? What what he said to you? 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:50.680 You said they're locally here. Did he ever give you 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:54.720 an answer on why he hasn't let you meet them yet, 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:56.720 or he hasn't introduced you or even you know what 0:14:56.760 --> 0:14:58.240 I'm saying. Have you ever talked to his mother on 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:00.680 the phone? Have you ever even seen him face time? 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:06.160 Just anything? If not for real, then my point is 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:09.640 proven to be true. He never really had any real 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:15.480 mm hmm, any real plans on keeping you around once 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:17.320 y'all got married, You got that green called girl, that 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:20.400 boy was gonna be out. And I really honestly believe that. 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:23.480 I really honestly believe that, because why the hell haven't 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:25.840 you met his mom and his other family. I'm very 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.240 very sorry that you're going through this. I'm sorry for 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:30.480 you and your babies because I know that they've already 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:33.640 gotten to know him obviously, I mean ship they had to, 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:35.760 they had to get to know him. I do want 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:39.120 to extend an apology, like, oh my god, I hate 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.400 that you're going through that and you don't deserve it. 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:46.840 But I think that you should let it go because 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:51.440 it's already a year and a half of your time wasted. 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.840 And the reason why because I know you love him. 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:58.840 The reason why I say wasted is because I want 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.760 to open your eyes to what funk I think he 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:04.000 was really trying to do. And I know you had 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.040 to think it in the back of your mind, but 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:08.320 because you love him, you probably didn't want to face 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:12.120 it that that's what he was doing, right that was 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:14.760 his process the whole time. Like I said, I won't 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:18.920 say he don't love you, but he definitely had an agenda. 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:22.560 It was a motive behind all this love and this 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:26.200 relationship and all that. I think it's best for you 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:29.160 to leave, I do while you put a whole year 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:32.080 and a half in it, and that is not a 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:35.040 short amount of time. I don't think it's an extremely 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:39.520 long amount of time for you to leave that ship 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.960 alone right now, because imagine y'all could be five years 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:45.160 in and then this motherfucker's life and then it's the 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:49.240 way you found out. You found out because you were 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:50.960 trying to help him get a job, so he would 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:52.840 have never told you this. You understand what I'm saying. 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:54.640 You would have never told you this. That could be 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.120 another reason why he didn't want you to meet his 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:59.400 family either. Now they might tell it and I'm not 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.000 here on it, you know, or unless the family was 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.199 down with the plan from the jump, come here and 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:06.240 meet somebody, marry them, and then you can be with 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:09.600 us forever or whatever the fuck. You know. I'm really 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:12.280 frustrated that she's going through this ship, So don't mind, 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:14.680 my curson, and I'm very sorry about that. But check 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:18.359 back in with me. You are way way wait, wait 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:22.880 to deserve and of something else, of something more than 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:25.680 to be dealing with this. Check back in with me, girl. 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:28.720 If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:34.040 then we'll be right back. That's some bullshit, y'all. Like, 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:36.800 I really don't like that. I don't like that for 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:40.280 her at all. You never know who you're sleeping with, 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:43.080 You never know who you're sucking dealing with. You never know. 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:47.119 She was in a relationship with this man for eighteen 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:50.800 months and he lied. Now what I want to know 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.280 and she didn't tell me, was when she found out 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:57.320 was that recently? Was that when she just broke up 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:58.760 with him? Is that what she just broke up with 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.760 him for or did she continue to be in a 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.240 relationship with him? Because she says she just can't deal 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:06.600 with it anymore, that means that she was actually trying 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.840 to deal with it. And you see what we do 0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:12.520 as women. I can't say men do this, because I'm 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:16.159 not a man. I don't know, but I know women 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:21.120 do this. We often. I'm gonna say it right, I'm 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:22.399 gonna just saying the way I know how to say it, 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:24.640 and then y'all can take it exactly how y'all want 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:29.879 to take it. We actually will dem our happiness for 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:32.159 someone else's and I actually spoken this before in the 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:36.320 previous episode. We'll dem our happiness and even be a 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:40.440 little miserable, a little miserable for somebody else to be 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:43.720 happy for our man, or our women, or our husband 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:47.360 or our wife. Like we we will do that. Why 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:51.240 why why why? Why why should you being happy cost 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:54.680 me any of my happiness? People make love difficult. I 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:57.200 don't really think that love is difficult. I don't think 0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:00.080 that love is working. And listen, I'm actually contradict to 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:03.680 myself because in previous episodes I've said this, love is hard. 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:05.600 Love is work. Love is no. Love is what you 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:08.919 make it. It's not the love. And I was just 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:10.560 talking to my best friend about this. Take this, and 0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:13.080 I'm in this episode. It's not that love is hard. 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:17.720 It's about these people that's jumping in these relationships and 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:19.880 they're trying to love and they're fucked up in their 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:22.520 brains individually. So then when you try to go fucking 0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:25.920 be with somebody, you ain't got yourself together. So now 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:29.040 you're trying to offend for two and you mentally don't 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:31.280 even know what the funk you want or you don't 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:33.800 know what the fund is going on with you. You've 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:36.199 got issues that you don't even know you have, and 0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:40.439 you don't even see the issues until somebody else is 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:44.120 there to ignite that ship in you. That's your significant other. 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:47.200 When you jump in these relationships, people don't know themselves 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:50.040 until they get with somebody else. Because people, you have 0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:53.840