Speaker 1: So you're saying powerade is better because somebody put a
Speaker 1: friend Stone vitamin and that bitch and let its solve. Yes,
Speaker 1: it tastes better, is better for you? What's gatorade doing
Speaker 1: besides getting dumped on the back of coach's next gatorade?
Speaker 1: Out here, lazy trifling? All right, Hey, everybody, welcome to
Speaker 1: hold up. It's a big show about pretty pretty small things,
Speaker 1: pretty little, pretty, pretty insignificant. I am one of your
Speaker 1: co hosts. My name is Josh Johnson. I'm a writer
Speaker 1: for the Daily Show, and I am joined by Dosey's
Speaker 1: little Doosay sloan. Yeah, I'm of course writing on a
Speaker 1: daily show and just genuinely the person who annoys jos
Speaker 1: the most, because if I won't do it, who will?
Speaker 1: Great question. So we come to you today humbly seeking
Speaker 1: your approval. We seek your validation because we are diametrically
Speaker 1: opposed as usual. But this time I think I think
Speaker 1: there's a line in the sand. I think that I
Speaker 1: can't see any concessions being drawn. I can't see us
Speaker 1: really coming to any common ground at all. Today's topic
Speaker 1: is Powerade versus Gatorade. Okay, wolf, which one do you drink?
Speaker 1: More if you drink either which one leaves you feeling
Speaker 1: hydrated and which one just makes you feel a little ill.
Speaker 1: I'll say, as someone who never really enjoyed Gatorade, m
Speaker 1: but realize that there were absolutely no beneficial quality is
Speaker 1: the power because Gatorade you could taste that it was
Speaker 1: like salty. You're like, oh, I might be getting something
Speaker 1: out of this, but there's so much sugar in a Powerade.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm drinking kool aid. So that's why
Speaker 1: I can't condone or participants. Also, I don't see like
Speaker 1: remember like also remember when we were in like because
Speaker 1: when you graduate from high school two thousand and eight,
Speaker 1: okay you just oh no, you were seven years after
Speaker 1: you never mind, I don't know. I was in high
Speaker 1: schools when powerade was like popping, popping, and so like
Speaker 1: you see everybody drinking a powerade or whatever. But I'm
Speaker 1: just like, this can't This doesn't taste like it's being helping.
Speaker 1: This don't taste like it's restoring anything. I just feel
Speaker 1: like I'm drinking this is this is an uncarbonated soda.
Speaker 1: So I only go Gatorade because Gatorade tastes like Okay,
Speaker 1: you can taste it. There's a little like saltiness too
Speaker 1: a gatorade, guess because of the electrolytes and shit, and
Speaker 1: then but there's a sweetness, so you'll keep drinking it.
Speaker 1: So Gatorade I'll go in only because I feel like
Speaker 1: it might actually be doing something. Powerade is just an
Speaker 1: uncarbonated it's a soft rate. Okay, all right, so let's
Speaker 1: let's Those are some great opening points. Some of them
Speaker 1: were actually correct. A couple of them were really on point. Okay,
Speaker 1: But power aid what you understand about power ad, what
Speaker 1: you understand about the power that we're covered with with
Speaker 1: power rate, okay, is that power aide actually has less
Speaker 1: calories and more micronutrients than gatorade. You were right about salt?
Speaker 1: What is right about the salt? What is so you
Speaker 1: were on point? Okay? What's the salts? The electrolytes, the
Speaker 1: micronutrients in there or vitamins B six and twelve as
Speaker 1: well as magnesium. Like we're coming through with actual sustenance.
Speaker 1: So you're so just because you googled what the hell
Speaker 1: was in a power right? You know you didn't know
Speaker 1: what was in a game. You did not know before
Speaker 1: two seconds ago while I was talking. Got a damn
Speaker 1: thing about what all up be in these powers of aids. Okay,
Speaker 1: you would you rather even in the wording, would you
Speaker 1: rather have Gator aid or Power Aid? Would you have
Speaker 1: rather have the aid to be powered or the aid
Speaker 1: of Gator? Do you know where Gatorade got its name from? Florida? Right,
Speaker 1: Florida Gators. M Now, I don't give a shit. But
Speaker 1: because I'm not a Gator fan, I'm any I'm a
Speaker 1: fan of anything that's not U G five. Okay, because
Speaker 1: Gator aid M M have been tried and true and
Speaker 1: tested on real professional college athletes, you know it has
Speaker 1: all of the things, the nutrientent taste, Okay, not a word,
Speaker 1: what's about Listen, it's got The earliest version of it
Speaker 1: consisted of water, sodium, sugar, potassium phosphate, and lemon juice. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: Gatorade was the reason M got the Florida Gators one
Speaker 1: in their first Orange Bowl over the Georgia tech Yallow Jackets. Okay,
Speaker 1: how was it the reason? How they said it was?
Speaker 1: They said it was a contributing factor, so it is credited.
Speaker 1: They're saying it's a performance enhancing team credited gatorade. Okay,
Speaker 1: coach m doping? No, no, the star quarterback not joking. Water.
Speaker 1: You think water and water. I don't know what goes
Speaker 1: in their big bodies to help them move big bodies.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about that. I'm just saying it
Speaker 1: sounds like doping to me. Soudio, water, sugar, potassium, and phosphates. Mmm,
Speaker 1: what's in those phosphates? Doping? What's it the phosphates? Check phosphates. Okay,
Speaker 1: check the file. What's it? What's the popha? Don't phosphates? Me? Okay.
Speaker 1: A phosphate is in anan salt functional group or esther
Speaker 1: derived from a phosphoric acid, So basically it's more salt.
Speaker 1: Does it have a bunch of chemistry stuff next to
Speaker 1: it when you google it? Yes? Okay, can't No, No,
Speaker 1: this is a naturally occurring thing in nature. Okay, hold on,
Speaker 1: it was dope because you looked up all that ship
Speaker 1: was not not. Hold on, Now, this is the thing.
Speaker 1: This is just the early this is just the early
Speaker 1: chemical makeup. M okay of a gatorade? Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: they got thirst quenchers because for a long time all
Speaker 1: they had was lemon, lime and orange let's see, they
Speaker 1: started getting more flavors in the mid nineties. As I remember,
Speaker 1: like people just sucking out, oh, Gatorade ice. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: don't know what that was about, but there was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I remember G two, Gatorade rain. Gatorade Tiger was a
Speaker 1: Gatorade thirst quencher. Okay, as a result of um, I
Speaker 1: guess juicing tiger woods. Okay, they put them in a
Speaker 1: machine and squeeze them. This is the thing. I think
Speaker 1: that the flavors of Gatorade went a bit wild, went
Speaker 1: a little too far, stopped becoming flavors and started becoming
Speaker 1: just experiments. So you're telling me that this gatorade frost
Speaker 1: glacier freeze. Yeah, m I mean it is just blue. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just gross. Don't know that gross, lou. I don't
Speaker 1: know what a glacier tastes like. Yeah. And also there's
Speaker 1: a glacier freeze and a glacier something else too, So
Speaker 1: glacier is just a sort of accent mark on the
Speaker 1: taste of freeze. But this has given me. This is
Speaker 1: rehydrate replenished refuel electrolytes to help replenish what you lose,
Speaker 1: and sweat carbs to help fuel refuel working muscles. Because
Speaker 1: people don't know is that sugar is a carb. So
Speaker 1: people like I'm cutting out cards, I'm cutting out cards,
Speaker 1: putting out carbs. Guess what, motherfuckers, you can't have fruit. Yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: we work with he was on niketo. Yeah, he couldn't
Speaker 1: have fruit. Listen, I think the three of the blueberry.
Speaker 1: You can have clueberries and you can have but you
Speaker 1: can't have wormelon cap pomegranate. You can have anything that's
Speaker 1: like high in sugar, and you can't have anything that.
Speaker 1: Uh maybe this isn't fair to say, but I feel
Speaker 1: like all the hardy fruits you can't have. I know
Speaker 1: when I was working on my on my meal plan,
Speaker 1: I couldn't have any tropical fruits. Oh okay, I could
Speaker 1: have apples and berries. I could have what category your
Speaker 1: fruit is? An apple? I don't know, but apple's got
Speaker 1: a lot of fibers. So you don't want to load
Speaker 1: up on too many apples because it makes your boops. Yep,
Speaker 1: that's good. Oh. I remember when I was in Chicago.
Speaker 1: I was just telling somebody about this. I'm sure I
Speaker 1: remember what I was talking to. When I say Chicago,
Speaker 1: I was like um, this is so bad. Oh no,
Speaker 1: I didn't have any thing. It doesn't have any money.
Speaker 1: And so I went to a grocery store. I saw
Speaker 1: a bag of apples. I was like, that's dinner, and
Speaker 1: I was just I just ate dinner, like alluded to it.
Speaker 1: Just ate four apples, and you know, it's a lot
Speaker 1: of chew it, so you get tired of chew it,
Speaker 1: or you get full off of just really try to
Speaker 1: break down apples in your mouth. And then that is
Speaker 1: way too much fiber that that had me sat down
Speaker 1: pressed you shaking together and running over. What I'm saying is, yeah,
Speaker 1: you should at least had some peanut butter that had
Speaker 1: some oil. Hey, I'm with you, I understand. I recognize
Speaker 1: my mistakes. Yeah, Bro, sometimes these stories you tell, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that Josh isn't a better Listen. All
Speaker 1: I know is, don't act like you really believe in
Speaker 1: it because you you just already had it there. Don't
Speaker 1: act like you went and got a real gatorade. I
Speaker 1: did already have this because I was dehydrated. So yeah,
Speaker 1: but if you had known better, you would have got
Speaker 1: a powerade. No, if I'd have known better, i'd have
Speaker 1: got a pedia light fair enough, fair enough. But the
Speaker 1: thing is I have not seen a powerade in years
Speaker 1: is still in business. Yeah, go to a Dwayne read
Speaker 1: what Yeah, go go to any I don't know. I
Speaker 1: feel like even the sports armor store sells them sports armor.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, under armour. That's my bad. No, that's my bad.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm a little tired. And I
Speaker 1: let I let what I was thinking mash up with
Speaker 1: what I was saying, and let me say something. Them
Speaker 1: under armour shirts started becoming outer armor shirts real quick, right,
Speaker 1: real quick. The level of confidence people have to wear
Speaker 1: those under armours, but just casually the idea, because first
Speaker 1: of all, you know how skin tight those things are.
Speaker 1: They are a body stocking for a man. They soak
Speaker 1: up every part of you and it is the closest
Speaker 1: to a hug. A lot of people have had their
Speaker 1: male spanks because it's while. What I can say is,
Speaker 1: in my life I've seen the men that I've seen
Speaker 1: wearing under armor as outerwear are never men that play sports. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what are we what are we doing here?
Speaker 1: What's happening? It's very interesting what it what it did
Speaker 1: because it's like, you know, to see this man who
Speaker 1: you know is not playing a sport because they because
Speaker 1: they are a moisture wicking I got the benefit. I
Speaker 1: have no idea what you just said, moisture wicking meter. Okay,
Speaker 1: did you wear them under your clothes when you're playing
Speaker 1: a sport because it pulls a sweat away from the body. No,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I don't think so. I don't want to
Speaker 1: lie on them, but I don't think so. The thing
Speaker 1: is that what I found it does, and what I
Speaker 1: think a lot of guys think that it does for them,
Speaker 1: is that because it's skin tight given that body. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if there's any muscle definition that you have at all, yeah,
Speaker 1: under armour will follow it. So it's like you'll see
Speaker 1: dudes with even a decent back, right, like even love back.
Speaker 1: I love arms. Uh, I'm an arms, birt, I'm an arms,
Speaker 1: like a man with just a nice uh huh because
Speaker 1: I like hugs, so a nice arm. Yeah, but I do.
Speaker 1: Some men do have a very weird hand. What. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some men have weird hands. What are you talking about? Hands? Weird? Weird? How? Ye?
Speaker 1: He don't go right? What does go right? Man? Like?
Speaker 1: Every he a man? Who his hands are too small
Speaker 1: for his body. I hope not what seen it? It
Speaker 1: looked like muppets, just a little like grown man with
Speaker 1: little kid hands. Like if you're a man who was like,
Speaker 1: I'm a woman who's five four, Okay, if you were
Speaker 1: a man who's taller than me but whose hands are
Speaker 1: smaller than mine, I'm worried because it's weird. I don't
Speaker 1: want to hold your hand and be the big spoon. Wow. Okay,
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that that. Wow, I feel like it.
Speaker 1: I just feel like I just woke you up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was that was insane. Um. I like hands, I
Speaker 1: like arms. I pay attention to those things. Um. The
Speaker 1: guy who came up with it was um Kevin Plank.
Speaker 1: He said it's a full back of the North of Maryland.
Speaker 1: Plank got tired of having to change out of the
Speaker 1: sweatsiak T shirts worn under his jersey. However, he noticed
Speaker 1: that his compression shorts Warren during practice say try this
Speaker 1: inspired him to make a T shirt using moisture wicking
Speaker 1: synthetic material. So, yeah, so moisture ricking and he that's wild.
Speaker 1: I came Wow, you really called it? Yeah? I don't
Speaker 1: even know what half a compression stuff is for really well,
Speaker 1: I think my homeward was telling me that he wore
Speaker 1: compression shorts when he played football, one of them sports,
Speaker 1: to keep his man parts still. I think it would
Speaker 1: keep them still. I think you're right, just to stop
Speaker 1: him from banging into each other. That is tough when
Speaker 1: you're running and you won't go faster. Is that happening? Wait?
Speaker 1: So testicles banging to each other? Yeah? Huh? Like like
Speaker 1: with what you mean within or next two stuff? Within
Speaker 1: like your legs? Not? No, not really, not not like
Speaker 1: I thought you meant. Do they bang into stuff as
Speaker 1: in like swinging from side to side? Do they hit thigh?
Speaker 1: Does that happen? Yes? They are a pendulum shape if
Speaker 1: you get if you get old enough. Now I don't
Speaker 1: know how true this is all. They'll hit the water
Speaker 1: in the toilet. No, no, no, what I've heard that.
Speaker 1: I've heard that too, But that's not because I wasn't
Speaker 1: where I was going. It took me. I feel like
Speaker 1: the water in the toilet was just too high. Maybe
Speaker 1: you don't know how long they get I doubt so.
Speaker 1: The underarmer shorts makes sense because it's like they compared. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you don't want your man parts to be moving
Speaker 1: a bit. I do. There was the day you would
Speaker 1: I think you and Devin, but mainly you get so
Speaker 1: annoyed with me because I asked you if you had
Speaker 1: to be what, could you just put your finger on
Speaker 1: the end of it and stop from Sometimes you do
Speaker 1: ask questions that make me worry about, like have you
Speaker 1: have you met mister pains all we reason I asked
Speaker 1: the questions because I know if I have to pee
Speaker 1: and I have to wait, I can squeeze my thighs
Speaker 1: together or wrap my or like you know, put my
Speaker 1: legs one over the other. Yeah. Men don't have that
Speaker 1: option because everything's in front. Yeah. Like if you put
Speaker 1: your legs together, nothing happens. Yeah. So like you don't
Speaker 1: even like the I have to pee kind of thing.
Speaker 1: And it's just like, yeah, you're not doing anything. You
Speaker 1: gotta bend it in half like a hose. What do
Speaker 1: you mean? What has more? You're in it? Let's see. Okay,
Speaker 1: power a vers since Gatorade it already came up here.
Speaker 1: Bum Sorry, I don't even be doing that. Um, it's
Speaker 1: power Aid better for you than Gatorade. Gatorade contains one
Speaker 1: hundred and sixty milligrams of sodium and forty five milligrams
Speaker 1: of patasting per server, whereas power Aid contains one hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty milligrams of sodium and thirty five milligrams of
Speaker 1: fatassium per serving. In comparison, Gatorade is slightly better at
Speaker 1: replacing loss electroly depending on if that's what you need
Speaker 1: you need? What do you drinking it? Do you need
Speaker 1: some BEA twelve? Do you need some rehyderational logside it?
Speaker 1: You know, maybe gatorade is over here, like, oh I
Speaker 1: got electrolyte, I got some salt in it, but I
Speaker 1: got some lemon water in case you hate your life. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: what sports drink is best for hydration? Best overall? Gatorade? Oh,
Speaker 1: body armor. I tried this drink. It's actually pretty good.
Speaker 1: So who conducted the study? Let's see? Was gatorade dot com?
Speaker 1: Let's see? Is it a reputable source, reputable, repet rip riputable?
Speaker 1: It was food network dot com? Who did it? M
Speaker 1: and you're gonna trust them? You're gonna trust them? You
Speaker 1: want to touch trust the was it dives, dig ins
Speaker 1: and dashes? Huh? Is that who you want to trust? Another?
Speaker 1: Is that what is that what you want to trust?
Speaker 1: You want to put your faith in um in uh dinner,
Speaker 1: destitute and and dogs, ma'am, ma'am, m ma'am. Do you
Speaker 1: want to put your faith in dugouts, ditches and drains?
Speaker 1: The test was listen. This is from Dana Angelo White
Speaker 1: ms okay suspicious. She's a registered dietitian, certified athletic trainer
Speaker 1: and owner of Dana White Nutrition Ink with specializes in
Speaker 1: culinary in sports nutrition. She's the one that did it,
Speaker 1: she wrote the article. She's the owner of Dana White
Speaker 1: Nutrition Ink. Lots of d's lots of lack of trust
Speaker 1: from ma'am. She specializes in culinary in sports nutrition. She's
Speaker 1: got some recipes. M hmm. Yeah, keep making that face.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, I'm throwing out there. This is the
Speaker 1: person that you want to teach you to dip, dive,
Speaker 1: dodge thisne This is not Guy Fietti. Okay, she said
Speaker 1: best overall Gatorade your friend power A Yeah, yeah, wasn't
Speaker 1: even on the list. Mm hmmm. So just trust this
Speaker 1: list because it exists. A tress the list because a
Speaker 1: nutrition has made it. Okay. Also, now, hold on, what
Speaker 1: are the best drinks to replace electrolts. Here are a
Speaker 1: electrolyte rich beverage you may want to add to your
Speaker 1: health and Williams toolkit. One coconut water or coconut juice.
Speaker 1: Two milk? Oh, what milk? That doesn't sound right at all.
Speaker 1: If you worked out and then you had a tall
Speaker 1: glass of milk, I think you're dad. This is that
Speaker 1: nineteen fifty two. No one is exercises and having a milk.
Speaker 1: What do you mean? No one? They're they're putting them
Speaker 1: on electrolyte lists. Hold on, are there? I hope somebody
Speaker 1: to just swerve their car when they fucking heard milk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the way to my inserts bro. In addition to its okay,
Speaker 1: are there electrolytes and milks without google in a ditch.
Speaker 1: In addition to its rich supply of electrolytes like calcium, celdium,
Speaker 1: and potassium, milk provides a healthy combination of carbs and protein.
Speaker 1: These are two macro These two macro nutrients can help
Speaker 1: you refuel and promote muscle tissue repair after a workout.
Speaker 1: Oh so when you hurt your boob, you should have
Speaker 1: been drinking milk. Never mean you and like milk? I
Speaker 1: don't like it enough to drink it after a workout, like, like,
Speaker 1: at what point? Imagine if you finished a race and
Speaker 1: somebody hand you a glass of milk, You'd be like,
Speaker 1: I didn't know you wanted to fight. I'ma have to
Speaker 1: come up with with my own powerade slash Gatorade. If
Speaker 1: milk is doing such a great job with all of
Speaker 1: the signs that I have read is that no one
Speaker 1: can tell me why parade is even worth drinking. Wow,
Speaker 1: I feel like an entire time. It's not a conversation conversation.
Speaker 1: The articles are out, It's been proven the articles are hack. Okay,
Speaker 1: remember that you are too sleepy to have this conversation
Speaker 1: with No, I'm no, I'm awake. You're well, and I'll
Speaker 1: tell you right now. Tell me. I don't care what
Speaker 1: Dana White's nutrition says on dip dive, Dash, drink and drool. Okay,
Speaker 1: these are not real stats. You want to get hydra powerade,
Speaker 1: but it's a proven fact that there is literally more
Speaker 1: milligrams of potassiums and things and Gatorade grams. You lost
Speaker 1: me once you talk about milligrams and not really getting
Speaker 1: it in when you're when you're not talking about getting
Speaker 1: in the nutrients that you need, Holly right fully. Okay,
Speaker 1: then it's better because somebody put a Frindstone vitamin and
Speaker 1: that bitch and let its solve. Yes, it tastes better,
Speaker 1: is better for you? What's gatorade doing besides getting dumped
Speaker 1: on the back of coaches? Next? Gatorade out here, lazy trifling,
Speaker 1: all right, not the back of coaches. Next. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: are a mess. I'm a menace, real menace. Gatorad's a minute,
Speaker 1: all right. The most excited kids get about gatorade is
Speaker 1: to dump it. No, no one's even drinking Powerade though, Powerade. Listen,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. At least Gatorade. Gatorade gave you
Speaker 1: hydration throughout the game, and then you won nounce a
Speaker 1: celebratory act. Okay, Power eight ain't even on the field.
Speaker 1: Power A ain't even come to practice whenever they want
Speaker 1: to dump a gatorade on a coach. Andn't it always full?
Speaker 1: Why is it always full? Because nobody's drinking it. They
Speaker 1: bought it, but they didn't drink it. They've been playing
Speaker 1: for four outs. This game was four hours long. You
Speaker 1: only think they got one container. You bake a fresh batch,
Speaker 1: put ice in it, and then you make this coach
Speaker 1: sticky for the next three months. You're gonna you're gonna
Speaker 1: put Yes, you're gonna put ice. You know there's multiple
Speaker 1: coolers that gatorade outside. Stop it in an already worthless drink.
Speaker 1: You're telling me you're gonna have reserve gatorade to jump
Speaker 1: on top of the real gatorade that you drink. That's
Speaker 1: not happening. I'm interested in what gatorade does to the ground.
Speaker 1: All right? Does that grass grow hard or does it die?
Speaker 1: Or does it do that grass grows better than any grass? Really,
Speaker 1: that grass has nutrients. Okay, you think that grass has
Speaker 1: electoral lights? Are you serious that grass got electro lights?
Speaker 1: I think that don't even need electro lights. If you
Speaker 1: pour gatorade into a farm's soil and then you let
Speaker 1: the grass grow, and then you let a cow eat
Speaker 1: the grass, by the time you eat the burger, the
Speaker 1: cow would be like, you don't want to eat that?
Speaker 1: Can gatorade make plants grow faster? Because we've all been
Speaker 1: in the eighth grade? Okay, and let's get into it.
Speaker 1: Let's get into it. This is the most research we've
Speaker 1: ever had in a episode. It's the first time we've
Speaker 1: ever been accurate about anything. Oh man, we'll just be guessing.
Speaker 1: Plants need a mixture of water light. Okay, somebody must
Speaker 1: use a comma. Plants need a mixture of water, light, water,
Speaker 1: and soil with a lot of nutrients and minerals in it.
Speaker 1: Oh what the fuck I wrote this? Adding gatorage to
Speaker 1: the soil will stunt the plant's growth before it even starts.
Speaker 1: This happens as a result of the added sugar from gatorade.
Speaker 1: Now to your point, to make it fair, will power rate.
Speaker 1: I can already see where this is going. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you right now. Maybe the research haven't been done because
Speaker 1: maybe people haven't stumbled onto the hidden effects of powerade.
Speaker 1: How much power it gives you, how much aid it
Speaker 1: aids you. We concluded that powerade does not help a
Speaker 1: plant grow. Haters, we also care to the conclusion that
Speaker 1: it is best to give a plant water. You're not
Speaker 1: reading that. I'm telling you. What. Did you ever play football?
Speaker 1: Come on, okay, sorry, you played a sport. Let's think
Speaker 1: of said come one, let's not let's act like we
Speaker 1: know each other. You know what I mean? Stay? Stay
Speaker 1: h Yeah, I played a little bit of soccer, and
Speaker 1: we would we would sometimes have um orange slices on
Speaker 1: the sideline and parade and what power rade. That's where
Speaker 1: I first had powerade was was playing soccer. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: had gatorade, don't lie. Look some kids brought their dusty
Speaker 1: gatorade to practice and and I'm sure it helped keep
Speaker 1: them slow. And the rest of the kids had powerade.
Speaker 1: So I think the bully in them, you bullying them?
Speaker 1: I think you fuck a powerade so heavy? Because power? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing. This, this is what people don't
Speaker 1: understand about sports, all right, This is what they don't
Speaker 1: understand about physical activity. Okay, but they understand about strength
Speaker 1: and conditioning. About what? All right? Strength and conditioning. No,
Speaker 1: you're Louisiana a sent hop down. That's fine, I know it.
Speaker 1: They don't know, but that you need power to pull
Speaker 1: off all of these Jesus. And when you need power,
Speaker 1: where do you go? Do you go to something that
Speaker 1: doesn't even have it in the name, or do you
Speaker 1: go to power aid? Jesus? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Do you do? You go ahead? And if you need
Speaker 1: a big squat, right, let's say let's say you're trying
Speaker 1: to trying to hit a pr in the gym. PR
Speaker 1: is a personal record for those that don't know. Do
Speaker 1: you try to hit a pr in the gym? You
Speaker 1: try and get that power going? You need some power aid?
Speaker 1: All right, why are you hanging like that? Just to
Speaker 1: emphasize how important it is, Yeah, I would have believe
Speaker 1: that order come, no, no, Sometimes you have to say
Speaker 1: things between your teeth. Yeah, like whenever your mom wanted
Speaker 1: to scary, she'd be like, like that is true. Also
Speaker 1: because it's like I'm I'm you know, I'm trying not
Speaker 1: to y I do. Remember, I don't know how I
Speaker 1: said I was when one of my friends went on,
Speaker 1: but I did the talking through the teeth thing. And yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's like when someone talks to you between their teeth,
Speaker 1: it's like they already bit you. That's the level of
Speaker 1: scared you get where like you're it over your mouth.
Speaker 1: Here your mouth, you're not sure not to ask for
Speaker 1: the scoodles. It is a thing that children will get
Speaker 1: you to that place. Yeah. Yeah, because now you'll see
Speaker 1: these videos like you saw that dude straight up press
Speaker 1: his teacher, like really want to fight his teacher. That's
Speaker 1: always happened, Okay, there's a video of Like the reason
Speaker 1: this one went viral though, is because the teacher did
Speaker 1: swing on him, right, is a black boy? He was
Speaker 1: once you move on, I believe he was hispanic and
Speaker 1: the teacher was black, right, And the kid is like
Speaker 1: up and like in his face and everything. And I
Speaker 1: didn't watch a whole video because I was just like, ah,
Speaker 1: I don't need to spend my day doing this. But
Speaker 1: it was just like he was really prestive and no
Speaker 1: one obviously I don't expect the other students to do anything,
Speaker 1: but people forget. People always have an opinion on when
Speaker 1: people swing, no matter who it is, but people forget
Speaker 1: that before anyone ever swings, there's usually, like there was
Speaker 1: in this situation, people holding up cameras filming instead of helping,
Speaker 1: and then people just being bystanders instead of getting in
Speaker 1: the way and trying to diffuse it. So it's like
Speaker 1: you could be doing your best to be like sit down,
Speaker 1: get out, whatever, whatever, and then if somebody's like in
Speaker 1: your facing, you're facing your face at a certain point,
Speaker 1: being in your face, I don't know what to tell you,
Speaker 1: Like there's an instinct that kicks in, you know, at
Speaker 1: a certain point because it's like when I think about
Speaker 1: like my male friends would tell me of like when
Speaker 1: they got to a certain agea would then challenge their
Speaker 1: father m and I was like, what happened? He's like,
Speaker 1: but every friend was like, my dad punched me in
Speaker 1: my chest. Yeah, and then I sat the fuck down.
Speaker 1: Also like that. That's the other thing too, is it's
Speaker 1: like I don't know what this kid's home life was.
Speaker 1: I don't know what. I don't know anything about either
Speaker 1: one of these people. All I know is like if
Speaker 1: someone is people like everyone on the internet is such
Speaker 1: a saint when it's other people's problems. But it's like
Speaker 1: everyone commenting was like, you know, oh, he has to
Speaker 1: hold himself to a higherstand. And also that shocking punch,
Speaker 1: that shore punch. But this guy is getting pressed for
Speaker 1: longer than I was watching the video. The videos like
Speaker 1: I think it's two and a half minutes long. Punch
Speaker 1: that kid. And so that's when somebody started feel big.
Speaker 1: And it's just getting closer because you didn't see the
Speaker 1: altercation beforehand. You did see the argument, you see a
Speaker 1: little what hop up then walk to the class. This
Speaker 1: ship's probably been going on for ten in full minutes
Speaker 1: and so it's like after a while with the kids
Speaker 1: like all right, ah, I don't know, I don't know
Speaker 1: what to tell you. And then they started. Then they
Speaker 1: started swinging on each other, and now you're fighting a
Speaker 1: grown man. And then this is the most annoying thing
Speaker 1: is that. So I did. I was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna watch this whatever, right, and then someone later I
Speaker 1: saw it because it went super viral. Then later I
Speaker 1: saw just the ending, and it does seem like as
Speaker 1: soon as the fight started, that's when the principle and
Speaker 1: the officer at everybody showed up. It's like, guys couldn't
Speaker 1: have been here fifteen seconds earlier. This thing has clearly
Speaker 1: been going on for a while. Yeah, I've had an
Speaker 1: argument for a teacher. Argument with a teacher laughs forever forever,
Speaker 1: because neither one of you will back down. There's long
Speaker 1: moments of silence, like the longest I remember one of
Speaker 1: my teachers in high school arguing with him because like
Speaker 1: my economics class, I just could never get one and
Speaker 1: I need to see things two Economics is completely made up.
Speaker 1: Of course we're going recessions. Of course we're going to depressions,
Speaker 1: because all of this ship is fucking fictional right, And
Speaker 1: I'm going and I'm just in class, going back and
Speaker 1: forth with him, back and forth with him, back and
Speaker 1: forth with him, and then eventually I just go whatever, coach.
Speaker 1: And he was like, Oh, that's your big comeback. Whatever, coach,
Speaker 1: that's what you're gonna say. I said, either I cuss
Speaker 1: you out and get suspended or say whatever, coach. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say whatever, coach. And he's like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's that's a good plan. Like he completely agree. He
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, y'all, I would have to kick
Speaker 1: you out, all right. Yeah yeah yeah. That's also where
Speaker 1: he realizes as an adult, it's like, maybe I've taken
Speaker 1: this thing too far. The sixteen year old is the
Speaker 1: one that shut this down. Yeah yeah, maybe the fact
Speaker 1: that I wanted more of this is like a little weird, sir,
Speaker 1: I'm stirring that moment. He was like, she can't be
Speaker 1: I'm forty. I also can't let her be right for
Speaker 1: long in the classroom, like if like if he lets
Speaker 1: you be right for a quick second, it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: all right, he's still in charge, right right, So it
Speaker 1: seems like this this moment right now, it's the perfect
Speaker 1: time to kick it to the listener and let them know. Ay,
Speaker 1: you don't even really have to vote, You don't even
Speaker 1: have to let us know how you feel as much
Speaker 1: as other episodes, because powerade is better. And that's that's
Speaker 1: not why it is. No, it's not. It's better. Listen,
Speaker 1: it's not. Just doesn't get it. And that's all right, nigga.
Speaker 1: The whole point of a sports drink is to rehydrate you,
Speaker 1: and there is science that proves that gatorade hydrates you
Speaker 1: better because of the components of Gatorade. It's not like,
Speaker 1: who is he even looking Who is he looking at?
Speaker 1: Do y'all know who he's looking at it? Uh? You know,
Speaker 1: let us know what you think. Let us know if
Speaker 1: it's gatorade for you, powerade for you. Let us know
Speaker 1: which one quenches your thirst, which one makes you feel
Speaker 1: like you're ready to get back out there on the field,
Speaker 1: on the court. When was the last time he was
Speaker 1: on the field. Really have to answer, yes, you do, Yes,
Speaker 1: you do. I've never been an athlete and never never
Speaker 1: tried to act like I was an athlete. Us, on
Speaker 1: the other hand, no me, okay, yes, use Joshua Ezekiel
Speaker 1: Johnson sitting up acting like that just because listen, if
Speaker 1: you was playing soccer at the same time he was
Speaker 1: getting orange slices, you wasn't. You wasn't even varsity, baby,
Speaker 1: you weren't even j V. Wow, we're talking about varsity that. Okay, look,
Speaker 1: let me just let you know where I am today. Okay,
Speaker 1: help me from falling out on that field, help me parade?
Speaker 1: Got you doing a podcast in a padded room? You'd
Speaker 1: rather I go with your gatorade, with your your your
Speaker 1: ditch dined and dug out data eight. But yeah, y'all,
Speaker 1: let us know how you feel. Yeah, let us know
Speaker 1: that Josh is once again wrong, wrong, wrong, y'all have
Speaker 1: a great rest of the day and a wonderful weekend,
Speaker 1: all right, Po'll say, just doesn't get it. Josh is
Speaker 1: always wrong. Hey, everybody, I'm gonna be out on the
Speaker 1: road as part of the Freshman Tour doing stand up.
Speaker 1: You can catch me in Kansas City March tenth and eleventh,
Speaker 1: in Oklahoma City March sixteenth and eighteenth, in Fort Collins
Speaker 1: March thirty first and April first, in San Diego April
Speaker 1: twentieth through the twenty second, and in Dayton Ohio, June
Speaker 1: twenty third to the twenty fourth. If you were looking
Speaker 1: for tickets or any of that stuff, you can find
Speaker 1: it at Daily show dot com slash Josh Johnson. Can't
Speaker 1: we just hear there? Hello? Friends? That's your girls. Don't
Speaker 1: say slump. And I got some shows coming up ann
Speaker 1: Arbor Comedy Showcase in Annearbur, Michigan, March nineth to tenth
Speaker 1: and the eleven. And I'm going to be at the
Speaker 1: Blue Room Comedy Club April fifth through the sixth in Springfield, A, Missouri.
Speaker 1: Come chext me out, Love you bye,