Speaker 1: Good morning, Usa yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
Speaker 1: yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
Speaker 1: yo yo yo.
Speaker 2: Jesse Hilarry asks that morning is Wednesday.
Speaker 3: Happy in New Year's Now, today's show is all about
Speaker 3: self help. Charlamane got some special guests joining us today.
Speaker 4: You always say guests the special. Who are these people?
Speaker 5: Wilo, He's joining us today?
Speaker 1: Very special, that's my guy, Jay Shetty yo Man, very
Speaker 1: very special.
Speaker 4: Now you see you really talking about some special people.
Speaker 5: And doctor sha Ye.
Speaker 4: And Briant very special individuals.
Speaker 1: All three of those people will help people in various ways.
Speaker 1: What I really love about all three of those individuals
Speaker 1: is their commitment to making sure that our people are
Speaker 1: emotionally and mentally healthy.
Speaker 3: That's right, And we're gonna be talking to those three
Speaker 3: individuals next all throughout the show, so that don't go anywhere.
Speaker 5: It's to breakfast club. Good morning, this is your time
Speaker 5: to get it off your chest.
Speaker 6: Eight hundred five eight five one O five one. We
Speaker 6: want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3: Hello, who's this.
Speaker 5: Hey to me? Cause get it off your mama?
Speaker 7: Okay, good morning. He did and be Charlsmagne. I'm a
Speaker 7: saying I just wanted to get off my chest to
Speaker 7: the fact that I did nothing. And now I'm broken
Speaker 7: up with the boyfriend that I've been once for three
Speaker 7: years because his girlfriend, his side girlfriend, thinks that I'm
Speaker 7: her stalker.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, his side girlfriend, did you lost the stalker?
Speaker 5: M hm.
Speaker 4: Explain this to me a little bit more now, So.
Speaker 8: Okay, okay.
Speaker 7: So I've been with this boy for like almost three years, okay,
Speaker 7: and when I came out of my relationship, he came
Speaker 7: out of his relationship for a long time, and he
Speaker 7: still wanted to explore and all that, and we didn't
Speaker 7: know what we was. So he told me like, oh,
Speaker 7: I'm talking to this one, I'm talking to that one
Speaker 7: and talking that one. So it's like, okay, whatever. So
Speaker 7: Tom had passed and he has started moving his stuff
Speaker 7: into my apartment and we started establishing and thinks I
Speaker 7: worked for the city. I put him on my assurance.
Speaker 7: He started established smouldn't make him plans. I didn't realize
Speaker 7: how strong of a connection he was making with other girls.
Speaker 7: But then he comes to me one day and tells
Speaker 7: me that's the other girl.
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, I've heard enough. So you're not his only girl.
Speaker 7: No, I'm not his only girl.
Speaker 4: No, okay, So what are you calling her to ask?
Speaker 3: But she's upset because she put him on insurance.
Speaker 7: I wasn't asking anything.
Speaker 1: Oh, you just you're just mad at yourself for being stupid. Hey, yes,
Speaker 1: how old are you?
Speaker 7: Thirty four?
Speaker 4: Thirty four years old? How many girls has.
Speaker 6: This man got?
Speaker 3: Who knows how.
Speaker 4: Many East infections have you had? Since?
Speaker 1: Your pH balance is always hard?
Speaker 4: Stop it?
Speaker 3: Come on? Oh okay, I understand though, because you put
Speaker 3: him on insurance, he moved in. You thought it was
Speaker 3: more serious than it was, and he was still playing
Speaker 3: the field.
Speaker 1: Well see see, I want to tell you that that
Speaker 1: you know you can do better.
Speaker 7: That's not the part that I'm mad at. The part
Speaker 7: that I'm mad at is that I have nothing to
Speaker 7: do with other relationships and I'm being too of being
Speaker 7: a random girl. So why would you do you notice that?
Speaker 5: Why would you even care?
Speaker 3: You shouldn't even speak care.
Speaker 7: This is what I'm saying. You've ever been a chub
Speaker 7: or something who absolutely did not do yes and just frustrated.
Speaker 7: But then he's also super relief because it's like you
Speaker 7: never trust me in the beginning. But it's just super fussing.
Speaker 3: Stops it.
Speaker 1: Understand your upset, but stop cursing. But understand that the
Speaker 1: truth don't need no defense. It only needs witnesses. So
Speaker 1: as long as you know the truth, that's the most
Speaker 1: important thing. But the truth is you just wanted this
Speaker 1: man's holes. Now you need to ask yourself, do you
Speaker 1: just want to be one of this man's holes or
Speaker 1: do you want to be more to somebody? Because if
Speaker 1: you want to be more to somebody, then you need
Speaker 1: to go find that somebody because it's not gonna be
Speaker 1: with him.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm sorry you went through that, mama, but take
Speaker 5: him went through it.
Speaker 4: He's still going to it.
Speaker 5: Now, take him off.
Speaker 4: She ain't gonna do nothing.
Speaker 9: Still.
Speaker 4: Yeah, who that talking to you in the background.
Speaker 7: Nobody that's on the radio?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, man, you just another one of his holes.
Speaker 1: Man and I and you know, I think that you
Speaker 1: deserve better than that. But you know, he did keep
Speaker 1: it one honey with you from the beginning. It's not
Speaker 1: like he lied in you.
Speaker 3: He didn't lie, And y'all didn't have a conversation. You
Speaker 3: just assumed because he moved in. But that was not
Speaker 3: a great assumption, obviously.
Speaker 1: I know it's hard. I know it's hard. Three four
Speaker 1: years of raw sex. Three you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: him blowing in your bookie. I know it got I
Speaker 1: know it got you a little open man, but you
Speaker 1: know you deserve better.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Mama.
Speaker 4: Have a good day.
Speaker 5: Damn man. She's take him off insurance right now.
Speaker 3: You get it off your chest. Eight hundred five eight five,
Speaker 3: one oh five on the breakfast club.
Speaker 5: Good morning, the breakfast Club, right right, ray.
Speaker 3: Yo, Charla man day, what up are we lying?
Speaker 6: This is your time to get it off your chest?
Speaker 8: I got an indoor pool, outdoor pool.
Speaker 5: We want to hear from you on the breakfast club.
Speaker 10: Get on the phone right now.
Speaker 8: He'll tell you what it is.
Speaker 6: We lie, Hello, who's this?
Speaker 10: It's done to the Haitian therapist?
Speaker 4: You forever, Sandra? Where you've been at?
Speaker 10: I know, working? You know a busy seasons for depression
Speaker 10: and anxiety.
Speaker 4: Yes it is seasonal. Seasonal depression is the real thing
Speaker 4: around this time of you.
Speaker 10: So I listened to the doctor Scheyenne Bryant interview, and
Speaker 10: I just wanted to make clear that she is not
Speaker 10: a licensed therapist. Some of the things she was saying
Speaker 10: was pretty concerning, especially with saying people can't change. That's
Speaker 10: the foundation of our whole you know thing, is that
Speaker 10: you can change, and that it would be completely unethical
Speaker 10: to see a wife and a husband separately and then
Speaker 10: together for couples counseling. That is not something that counselors
Speaker 10: can do.
Speaker 1: I think people took out it, they took it out
Speaker 1: of context when she said you can't change. So she
Speaker 1: was just saying that you got to be willing to
Speaker 1: shift something in you first before you make a permanent change.
Speaker 2: No, because even even you questioned it, like you know
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like she she said that asking you question.
Speaker 3: They don't change. People pivot, she said.
Speaker 4: She said that the basis starts.
Speaker 10: To therapy that you can change. And so doctor Elliott Khannie,
Speaker 10: he is like my number one. If it wasn't for him,
Speaker 10: I wouldn't have gone into private practice because solution focused
Speaker 10: brief therapy is my favorite.
Speaker 5: It's the best modality.
Speaker 2: Yes, he is.
Speaker 4: It is absolutely the best.
Speaker 1: You everybody should pick up Elliot Cohanne's book, Change Your Questions,
Speaker 1: Change Your Futures out right now.
Speaker 10: And thank you for calling because you can't change, no problem.
Speaker 1: And I got the Family Therapist podcast on the Black
Speaker 1: Effect iHeart Radio podcast network, hosted by Elliott Khan.
Speaker 6: Hello, who's this?
Speaker 8: Good morning? This is James called from North Carolina.
Speaker 3: James from the Carolina Get it off your Chest with
Speaker 3: part I'm from Lumberton, Lumberton, All right, get it off
Speaker 3: your chest?
Speaker 5: Brother?
Speaker 8: Uh yeah, I wanted to ask y'all when y'all all
Speaker 8: interviewed Julia White, did he happen to mention what it
Speaker 8: was like to work with Uh, Michael Boogaloo Shrimp Chambers.
Speaker 6: Who the hell is this?
Speaker 5: Michael?
Speaker 8: Y'all, y'all don't remember him? Man, that's Turbo from Breaking
Speaker 8: and Breaking Too.
Speaker 4: Breaking was my movie.
Speaker 5: And then we can't ask about Wow.
Speaker 11: Nah, I ain't no where he worked.
Speaker 4: He was in the movie.
Speaker 7: Nah.
Speaker 8: He was in one of the episodes on Family Matters.
Speaker 8: He played us erkle Bot.
Speaker 4: I don't remember that.
Speaker 1: We didn't ask about that one, Brom Luthor Turbo though,
Speaker 1: you threw me off and you said, Michael Boogaloo, yeah boo, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you ain't asking about that one.
Speaker 8: Brother, Yeah, man, I just I was just wondering.
Speaker 1: Craz I never knew Turbo's real name until you said it,
Speaker 1: and I thought Boogoloo was the light skinned.
Speaker 2: With the head water had m h and the nose
Speaker 2: are Yeah, I ain't know that was ter Get it.
Speaker 3: Off your chest. Eight hundred five eight five one oh
Speaker 3: five one. If you need to vent, hit us up now.
Speaker 3: It's the Breakfast Club. Good Morning, the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 8: Morning.
Speaker 3: Everybody is DJ n V, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne the God.
Speaker 3: We are the Breakfast Club. Laura Ross here as well.
Speaker 3: We got special guests in the building. We have doctor
Speaker 3: Cheyenne Bryant.
Speaker 1: Welcome buff And you are one of the people in
Speaker 1: the mental health space.
Speaker 4: Who are who's us? Who's really using social media?
Speaker 6: Right right?
Speaker 1: Like you know, because you've used it to you know,
Speaker 1: elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health.
Speaker 4: So I applaud you on.
Speaker 11: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
Speaker 12: Yeah.
Speaker 13: I always say I didn't get into this field to
Speaker 13: become a celebrity. But God has his own plans, right,
Speaker 13: So I literally am my master's and my doctorate program.
Speaker 13: I remember my professor was saying, everyone who's gonna get license,
Speaker 13: raise your hand. I didn't raise my hand everybody else did,
Speaker 13: and he's like, Doc, you going you know with Shayan
Speaker 13: at that time, you're going.
Speaker 2: Through all this not your license.
Speaker 13: I'm like no, because I'm gonna be on a platform
Speaker 13: where I'm able to change lives. Didn't think that it
Speaker 13: ended up being a platform where to this magnitude one
Speaker 13: and then to the place where literally I didn't want it,
Speaker 13: the whole celebrity status and lifestyle. And not that I'm
Speaker 13: saying I don't want it now, I don't like it,
Speaker 13: It's just this is not where I expected it to go.
Speaker 13: But again, if God needs to use a celebritiness, you know,
Speaker 13: whether the celebrity status brings me the naysayers or the sayers,
Speaker 13: whatever it brings, as long as they can get a
Speaker 13: tip R two that gives them a better quality of
Speaker 13: life and helps them become better mentally, then run the
Speaker 13: play with it.
Speaker 3: Now, you talked about your calling, so when it came
Speaker 3: when it comes to your calling, what is your calling?
Speaker 3: What do you specialize in? Is it relationships? Is it
Speaker 3: dealing with people's problems?
Speaker 6: Is it just listening?
Speaker 5: What is your specialty when it comes to and what's
Speaker 5: your calling?
Speaker 2: I love that?
Speaker 13: So I started off as a marriage and marriage iman
Speaker 13: child therapist, and I tell God, I said, listen, I'm
Speaker 13: a little girl from the hood.
Speaker 2: You know what I come from.
Speaker 13: Don't put me in the hood, and don't put me
Speaker 13: with court order DCF kids.
Speaker 2: Not that I had a problem with them.
Speaker 13: I didn't want to be triggered dealing with them and
Speaker 13: I didn't want to have to deal with what I
Speaker 13: came from. I wasn't in the system, but I came
Speaker 13: from that type of adversity. And the first place God
Speaker 13: put me was off of Hotdale and Sloughs and I
Speaker 13: don't know if you're familiar with LA, but a block
Speaker 13: away from Sloss and swap.
Speaker 2: Meet in the hood and every one of my clients.
Speaker 13: Were court ordered DCFS Department of Family and Child Services.
Speaker 13: We had mom in there who were pregnant, still hitting
Speaker 13: the pipe asking me can I sign off on the
Speaker 13: documents so they can get the kids back, because I
Speaker 13: was predicated on their reunification with their kids, and so
Speaker 13: started off as doing that. When I got my doctor,
Speaker 13: I transitioned to a psychology expert life coach. My specialty
Speaker 13: then was marriage faman child therapy, So that is my foundation.
Speaker 13: So now that I am a psychology expert life coach.
Speaker 13: I can't get rid of that because that's my foundation.
Speaker 13: I do psyched on MMSCVT, but I couple it, which
Speaker 13: is my hybrid approach with coaching. So it's therapy and coaching,
Speaker 13: which is hybrid. And I say this without humility. That's
Speaker 13: why I'm so effected because therapy is tell me more,
Speaker 13: let me hear about your trauma, your daddy issues, to
Speaker 13: mom issues.
Speaker 2: Why are you who you are? And then once you're
Speaker 2: finished dealing with that and you process that? Okay, DJ ANDV,
Speaker 2: what the hell you going from there?
Speaker 3: I do have one other questions when it comes to
Speaker 3: the therapy aspect. I'm sure the world has been watching
Speaker 3: the Mendas brothers, right, And I had a question, right.
Speaker 3: So the Mendas brothers, if you don't know, they confess
Speaker 3: their crime to the therapists, and they believed that the
Speaker 3: therapists could not tell police officers because it was I guess,
Speaker 3: patient client privilege, but they did. So does that mean
Speaker 3: anything that I tell a therapist or that anybody tells
Speaker 3: a therapist can and can possibly be used against them
Speaker 3: in the court of.
Speaker 2: Law one hundred percent?
Speaker 13: So a therapist is only under confidential oath unless you
Speaker 13: are threatening to kill yourself and someone else, And it
Speaker 13: can't just be a threat, it has to be you
Speaker 13: have you actually have like an action plan to do so.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 13: You can't just come to me and say, hey, Doc,
Speaker 13: look you know I want to kill myself. I will
Speaker 13: help you process through that and hopefully talk you off
Speaker 13: the ledge. But if you say I got a plan.
Speaker 13: At nine pm, I'm leaving the house. I'm going to
Speaker 13: do X, Y and Z to my wife, then I
Speaker 13: have a duty to report. If I'm subpoenaed to court,
Speaker 13: I have to speak on that.
Speaker 1: Can you reach out to the court and say, subpoena
Speaker 1: me I.
Speaker 6: Need to be.
Speaker 13: Would never do that just because I believe in the
Speaker 13: following the oath of and maybe I just love and
Speaker 13: respect my clients too much. But if you came to
Speaker 13: me and said something, I'm just not And I know
Speaker 13: this is dollars in murder, but I've had married couples
Speaker 13: who come separately and together and the husband is just
Speaker 13: lighting it up in his individual sessions, like I'm cheating,
Speaker 13: I'm intimate with this person and that person is family
Speaker 13: members is this and I'm and I'm having to just
Speaker 13: make sure I process my count of transfers, because I'm
Speaker 13: sitting there like.
Speaker 2: Damn, and I have her in one hour, in one hour.
Speaker 8: God.
Speaker 2: Now, of course, if it was like my girlfriend, I'd be.
Speaker 13: Like butlfriend, because my best friend couldn't be that's that's
Speaker 13: a complication. She could never come to me as her
Speaker 13: as a psychology exerting that. But I then I'd be
Speaker 13: I'd be you know, ripping into in talking to me
Speaker 13: from the.
Speaker 4: Human perspective, because you still you're still a real stuff
Speaker 4: like that. When you hear a guy come in one.
Speaker 1: Hour he's doing X, Y and Z and the woman
Speaker 1: coming to the next what is going through your mind
Speaker 1: about to do?
Speaker 13: You know, in my mind, honestly, what I tried to do,
Speaker 13: and and and and and some of my clients have
Speaker 13: followed this guidance. I have one client now, he's he's
Speaker 13: married and the wife is attempted to divorce him, and
Speaker 13: she's divorcing him because he cheated, but she doesn't have any.
Speaker 2: Hard facts on him.
Speaker 13: So I've actually been able to process with him whether
Speaker 13: you're going to be with this woman or not, if
Speaker 13: you want to be with her or you want to be.
Speaker 2: Able to leave and do better.
Speaker 13: At some point, you got to be able to be
Speaker 13: real with yourself and real with her, and you got
Speaker 13: to be transparent. When do you plan on doing that?
Speaker 13: So he just literally this week or last week, because
Speaker 13: this week you told me doc. I sat with her
Speaker 13: and I told her that has been you know a
Speaker 13: few times that I did cheat. And I said, how
Speaker 13: does she respond? He said, she said, now we can
Speaker 13: have a conversation because now you're keeping it real. And
Speaker 13: when I had her in session, I said, listen, dragered right.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 13: When some guys said, look, you have two options, said either,
Speaker 13: if you're willing to learn to love a dog, we
Speaker 13: can start that process because you know, or we could
Speaker 13: start the process of you leaving and starting over. And
Speaker 13: she goes, what do you mean by a dog? He said,
Speaker 13: but he didn't. We've been together for ten years.
Speaker 2: He's never cheated.
Speaker 13: The first time I said no, no, baby, I said, he'd
Speaker 13: been quiet for ten years. He decided to bark on
Speaker 13: your number ten Jesus.
Speaker 14: So you don't think that he could change in that
Speaker 14: marriage and not cheat anymore.
Speaker 13: First of all, nobody changes, including me. We shift, and
Speaker 13: that changes our life. And when I say we shift,
Speaker 13: we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't
Speaker 13: serve us after we learn they're not working, gotcha, And
Speaker 13: then we have to learn to manage those. So I
Speaker 13: am very firecrackery. When I was younger, I was very temperamental.
Speaker 13: I was very you know, who.
Speaker 2: Are you talking to? Real quick?
Speaker 13: I just because of my trauma, because of things, I
Speaker 13: just had a very protective by all means necessary. I'm
Speaker 13: an otus of seven, so I was you know, I've
Speaker 13: like this place up? Is that still in me after
Speaker 13: all of my healing?
Speaker 8: Hell?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Do I manage it? Absolutely?
Speaker 13: Managing it just means that I'm high function I'm able
Speaker 13: to regulate my emotion, identify my emotions, don't get into
Speaker 13: my feelings because emotions are healthy. Feelings cause problems, and
Speaker 13: I can just say, okay, identify that I'm angry, I'm frustrated.
Speaker 13: So now let me choose my response. Before I was
Speaker 13: low functioning. Once I felt it, I was triggered and
Speaker 13: everybody here was going to know and it was gonna
Speaker 13: be a problem.
Speaker 2: So does that still come up? Yeah? But do I
Speaker 2: have self talk that says we're not doing that?
Speaker 3: So you would never date a man that cheated before
Speaker 3: because you feel like he will always be a cheated
Speaker 3: Is that what you're saying.
Speaker 13: I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that
Speaker 13: different relationships bring out different things in us. I was
Speaker 13: also in extreme alpha in my first engagement. I had
Speaker 13: two engagements called off, two weddings my first relationships I
Speaker 13: was engaged to.
Speaker 2: I was extreme alpha.
Speaker 13: So even if he tried to be alpha, I left
Speaker 13: no space. It was like hell no, by all means necessary,
Speaker 13: because I said, so you can walk like I'm chasing
Speaker 13: my career.
Speaker 2: I know my value. I'm not fatherless. I got a daddy.
Speaker 2: He spoiled me good day. So even in that, do
Speaker 2: you feel like that he wasn't man enough for you?
Speaker 2: Or like, what was that? Do you think that's your fault?
Speaker 2: Do you look back and be like, ugh, I was
Speaker 2: trying to be the man, not trying to be the man.
Speaker 2: But I actually I gave him because you just said
Speaker 2: you gave no work for him to do it. So
Speaker 2: do you regret that part of me? That's a duality.
Speaker 13: I think he chose a woman who was alpha because
Speaker 13: it fed something in him that was beta. I chose
Speaker 13: a man who was veda because my alpha needed to
Speaker 13: be inflamed. But my second engagement, he was alpha. That's
Speaker 13: why I say its circumstantial. But not only was he alpha,
Speaker 13: I was ready. I had these submissive fills in me already.
Speaker 13: So by the time we got in a relationship, I
Speaker 13: was a hybrid. By then I was alpha submissive, so
Speaker 13: I was cooking. He was daddy. I was soft. I
Speaker 13: was in my feminine And the blessing of that is
Speaker 13: I got to experience both, and I learned that I
Speaker 13: fell more in love with myself in my softness than
Speaker 13: he probably did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that thing all right.
Speaker 3: We have more with doctor Shanyenne Bryant when we come back,
Speaker 3: so don't move.
Speaker 4: It's the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 5: Good morning, the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3: Warning everybody, It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne the God.
Speaker 3: We are the Breakfast Club. We're still kicking it with
Speaker 3: doctor Shanyenne Bryant. Of course, she has her show Truth
Speaker 3: Talks on Fox Soul Monday through Friday, eight pm. She's
Speaker 3: a psychology expert, a life coach.
Speaker 5: Jess.
Speaker 2: So the interview with Cam and also saw that she
Speaker 2: sat down with Nick. Did they reach out to you
Speaker 2: or did you reach out to them.
Speaker 13: So Nick reached out to me and said, Doc, what's up, Like,
Speaker 13: I want to work through some thing, but I want
Speaker 13: to work through it on camera. And I said, okay,
Speaker 13: no problem, but I'm going to penetrate. So we're not
Speaker 13: doing penetrate.
Speaker 5: The trigger is crazy, So he likes penetration.
Speaker 2: Nick always goes, Doc, do you have to use that word.
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I am.
Speaker 13: I'm penetrating you at the space that obviously is broken and.
Speaker 11: That the man just don't change, no twelve year old
Speaker 11: girl right now? Boy definitely President definitely.
Speaker 2: So when he says all right, I need to work
Speaker 2: through some things, You're like, okay on camera? Does that
Speaker 2: then in your mind say is this for real? For real?
Speaker 2: Or do you want to appeal to a certain market,
Speaker 2: you know, to a certain audience. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: great observation.
Speaker 13: I didn't look at it like that because I look
Speaker 13: at it like I have a job to do. And
Speaker 13: so my intent was to use next situation and shift
Speaker 13: a whole culture of black men saying with cam and
Speaker 13: it happened. There were a lot of naysayers, but a
Speaker 13: lot of black men were actually in there creating the
Speaker 13: vironus and saying listen, Doc is right, we need to
Speaker 13: create more husbands and less baby daddy. Cam was resistant,
Speaker 13: but Cam had answered a lot of questions in his household.
Speaker 13: Cam had a lot of stuff, He had a lot
Speaker 13: of different conversations he had to have with that woman.
Speaker 6: Y Ca.
Speaker 1: Cam said that you know, it affected his relationship with
Speaker 1: his first two baby moms and his current situation that no, yeah, because.
Speaker 13: I'm here to interrupt that past No, yeah, like it
Speaker 13: should have been interrupted a long time, a long time.
Speaker 13: You know, Cam, and you come from and not that
Speaker 13: this breeds good decision making people, but Cam comes from
Speaker 13: He's a pastor's child. He comes from two parents that
Speaker 13: are still married and they're still very their pastors, very
Speaker 13: much involved with the church that goes to show you,
Speaker 13: like the Bible said, it was good for me that
Speaker 13: I was afflicted because you got people who come from brokenness.
Speaker 13: This is why I said, these kids are not doomed
Speaker 13: who make different decisions because it's not about where.
Speaker 2: A lot of times it's not.
Speaker 13: Where you go, and they gets you where you where
Speaker 13: you're going, it's where you trying to get the hell
Speaker 13: away from. And a lot of times parents, Yeah, like
Speaker 13: I was telling Rayja this. Ray J is my client
Speaker 13: as well, Jesus. And I was telling ray I said,
Speaker 13: ray I love your parents. They showed you everything to
Speaker 13: do right, they didn't show you what not to do
Speaker 13: and see. For me, I had a circumstances an environment
Speaker 13: that showed me everything not to do. So sometimes knowing
Speaker 13: what not to do saves you from doing the wrong.
Speaker 2: I was just going to ask, how do you deal
Speaker 2: with your other clients if you have ray J, I do,
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I have that.
Speaker 13: I have wise counsel Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a
Speaker 13: nice group, a nice, really healthy ecosystem of people who
Speaker 13: are in you know, counselors and coaches, and who are not.
Speaker 5: What do you say? What do you say to people
Speaker 5: that say, you know?
Speaker 3: How do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples
Speaker 3: when you're not married?
Speaker 6: That was what do you say to those people?
Speaker 13: I love that, I say that I don't want to
Speaker 13: hear you've been together fifteen years of miserable thirteen. I
Speaker 13: rather take advice from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful,
Speaker 13: meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value,
Speaker 13: then someone who is miserable in the marriage with a
Speaker 13: side dude in a side check, and you want to
Speaker 13: give an advice that you give yourself that you're using
Speaker 13: your failed marriage.
Speaker 2: I'll pass better, all pass, all pass.
Speaker 13: And what happens is married people like to shun on
Speaker 13: single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy
Speaker 13: people that look that up. It says marriage la discipline. No,
Speaker 13: it says marriage take discipline.
Speaker 3: And a lot of times they say that you reach
Speaker 3: out to older couples that's been married longer because they'll
Speaker 3: tell you how to deal with the marriage than people.
Speaker 3: You know, like some people say, don't you said, don't
Speaker 3: you know with your single friends, you talk to married
Speaker 3: couples that's been in that situation.
Speaker 13: And you know why that's true because folks who have
Speaker 13: been marriaging fifty twin years, they've been through the trenches.
Speaker 13: So they're not gonna teach you how to be happy.
Speaker 13: We got that single sist, We got that. I've had
Speaker 13: that all my life. They're gonna teach you how to
Speaker 13: get through the times when you ain't happy. Y'all, married,
Speaker 13: you know that, let's not play this game.
Speaker 2: You married, you know that.
Speaker 5: You think people get married too early.
Speaker 13: I think people choose the wrong people. I think people
Speaker 13: choose their fairyitar ideology, they're not choosing the person. See,
Speaker 13: people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing
Speaker 13: marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage,
Speaker 13: you get the title, you get the looks of it,
Speaker 13: but you're not getting a person.
Speaker 2: So you're a beautiful house who's homeless.
Speaker 4: You're like the idea of.
Speaker 2: The idea, the idea.
Speaker 13: And those are people who are fatherless sometimes motherless, who
Speaker 13: just need something to be a part of. I just
Speaker 13: need this companionship. I want the title. I don't feel value,
Speaker 13: I don't for validated. So because we're married, I got
Speaker 13: somebody who's checking from me. I got somebody who can
Speaker 13: get me through the day. But you got to be
Speaker 13: able to check even in marriage.
Speaker 2: I was engaged for ten years, you know, because I
Speaker 2: kept calling it off, calling it off.
Speaker 13: And he was like, you keep getting these degrees. You
Speaker 13: keep saying, wait for the next degree, where get married?
Speaker 13: And my time I want to get my doctor. He's like, baby,
Speaker 13: you done.
Speaker 2: Got four degrees. Yeah, engage, you know, And I.
Speaker 13: Can't putting it off because I knew that that wasn't
Speaker 13: my person. And I ended up leaving. I ended up
Speaker 13: leaving him, you know, unfortunate for him for gun ten years.
Speaker 2: And she said he was a great guy, great guy.
Speaker 2: He was a great guy. He just wasn't my guy, right,
Speaker 2: And so.
Speaker 3: For ten years he thought he was the guy you
Speaker 3: scro along for ten years.
Speaker 4: Why you let him go be great with somebody else
Speaker 4: that would appreciate him and love him.
Speaker 13: So I'm not saying for ten years, I knew he
Speaker 13: wasn't the one. When we got about your number five
Speaker 13: or six, and I've seen that his work ethic and
Speaker 13: his ability to provide at the level that I wanted
Speaker 13: our family to be at, I knew that he wasn't mine,
Speaker 13: my guy. And when I say provide, I'm not talking
Speaker 13: about like he was making six figures and I was like,
Speaker 13: now make millions.
Speaker 2: I'm saying. His thing was, baby, I'm cool with me.
Speaker 13: You a dog in a one baite in my apartment
Speaker 13: and just no work at all. So for the first
Speaker 13: six years, I thought, while I'm out here getting it,
Speaker 13: I have a legal company, you know, I own property.
Speaker 2: I'm only twenty two and all.
Speaker 13: These college degrees. How can he not be inspired by me? See,
Speaker 13: that's that age appropriate young woman.
Speaker 2: He got potential. Let me stay. That's why people should
Speaker 2: take their time.
Speaker 13: When I seen you number seven and eight, this guy
Speaker 13: was the same guy who was I hate talking because
Speaker 13: he's such a good guy. I was protecting when I
Speaker 13: talk about him. But where he was lazy and had
Speaker 13: no work ethic, I had a pivot.
Speaker 6: Did he acquire more in the future.
Speaker 2: No, he's still in the same place, So I made
Speaker 2: the right decision.
Speaker 3: We have more with doctor Shyenne Briant when we come back.
Speaker 5: Don't move.
Speaker 4: It's the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 5: Good morning, what.
Speaker 3: Everybody your dj MV Jess hilarious, Charlamagne the guy.
Speaker 5: We are the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3: We're still kicking it with doctor Chanyenne Bryant, psychology expert,
Speaker 3: life coach. You know she has her show Truth Talks
Speaker 3: on Fox Soul. Now I want to ask you about
Speaker 3: some internet rumors that I see. You know, Corey hol
Speaker 3: Comes said some things about you about not having your
Speaker 3: degree and where you started off as a I guess
Speaker 3: working in the strip club.
Speaker 5: Is any of that stuff?
Speaker 4: You said, you're not a real doctor.
Speaker 5: He said, yeah, you're not a real doctor.
Speaker 13: No, So I have four degrees. Three are in psychology,
Speaker 13: ones and Pan African studies. My doctor degree is in
Speaker 13: counseling psychology. My master's the marriage I mean YID therapy.
Speaker 13: All degrees are in psychology.
Speaker 2: Where this Corey Holcom thing comes from, is we did.
Speaker 13: I was on a show ten years ago when I
Speaker 13: actually I think it was before even had my doctor degree.
Speaker 13: And Corey is used to being able to be very
Speaker 13: disrespectful to woman and doing things.
Speaker 2: He was a guest on the show. I was co hosted.
Speaker 13: He was a guest, and I drill dis asked to
Speaker 13: be honest, it's on YouTube, people, could you know look
Speaker 13: at it? And I cut into him and I said,
Speaker 13: you seem like you are inferior to white man, and
Speaker 13: you seem like you got daddy issues, and you seem
Speaker 13: like you got mommy issues. You got kids that don't
Speaker 13: even talk to you or respect you, they don't like you.
Speaker 2: It tell us a lot about your character.
Speaker 13: This was ten years ago, okay, And obviously he's still
Speaker 13: in his feminine because he's still holding a grudge over it.
Speaker 13: You know, this is like interviews or interviews, so you're
Speaker 13: saying you do them and you move on to the next.
Speaker 13: And so was very upset and I feel like that
Speaker 13: in that space he was, y'all could watch it. He
Speaker 13: was done, found it Like usually he comes back with
Speaker 13: the you know, f you b or he has something
Speaker 13: to say.
Speaker 2: That Corey is just a broken person, period, and I
Speaker 2: do feel like you'll need help. He needs help.
Speaker 13: Corys off camera if Corey came again and said, doc,
Speaker 13: let's do off camera sessions if he wants to do
Speaker 13: it on camera, because it's just gonna be a rhetoric.
Speaker 13: I'm not doing that to help his career. I will
Speaker 13: help him as a man, but I'm not here to
Speaker 13: help him in his career. That's his job. I'm not
Speaker 13: here to carry a man that ain't minds or float
Speaker 13: a man that ain't mind, but to help you with
Speaker 13: your mental health or help you as a person. He's
Speaker 13: an alcoholic, he drinks a lot. You know, he's he's
Speaker 13: over compensating. Those areas, those are places he needs help with.
Speaker 2: Did you guys see.
Speaker 13: What he looks like on Cam Newton interview. I'm not
Speaker 13: talking about looks many attractiveness. Do you see how unwell hygienically.
Speaker 2: Clean he looks?
Speaker 3: Say why no?
Speaker 13: This ties into mental health? That man's hygiene was on
Speaker 13: negative two hundred. What I'm saying is he needs deeper
Speaker 13: help than me coming on fifty one fifty to bring
Speaker 13: him a bigger audience. He can seal do fifty one fifty,
Speaker 13: but he needs to be able to fifty one fifty
Speaker 13: himself and get the help that he needs.
Speaker 14: Lord, I saw you said too that you comment on
Speaker 14: the fact that Kamala didn't come out the first night
Speaker 14: when she didn't win. Speak to that and speak to
Speaker 14: the comment because we were upset.
Speaker 2: About Oh yeah, another unpopular opinion. I don't care.
Speaker 11: She proved why the people.
Speaker 13: Men and women who are not ready for a woman
Speaker 13: president are not ready for a woman president because society
Speaker 13: and some men not all, deem women as emotionally unstable
Speaker 13: and unable to regulate our emotions when you knew you.
Speaker 2: Weren't winning or weren't in the lead.
Speaker 13: And these kids, these babies, these adults were at a
Speaker 13: historical black university that you went to, Howard waiting hours
Speaker 13: for you. They had volunteered, I'm sure they had to contributed,
Speaker 13: and they probably voted for you and supported you this
Speaker 13: entire time. You couldn't come out and address the people
Speaker 13: who supported you. That's proven to the people who don't
Speaker 13: believe women could lead at that level, that a woman
Speaker 13: can't regulate her emotions enough to come out and take
Speaker 13: an ail.
Speaker 2: I don't care if she would have came out in tears. Listen,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry we lost. Whatever that looks like.
Speaker 1: I'll give a little pushback on that, because Donald Trump
Speaker 1: never gave a concession speech, nor would he even admit
Speaker 1: that he lost.
Speaker 13: But we're talking about Trump who runs on being that
Speaker 13: type of person, so his people never expected that. Just
Speaker 13: like when someone says, well, Trump's a racist, he's running
Speaker 13: on that.
Speaker 2: Trump is talking about getting rid of the U d I.
Speaker 2: He has said that.
Speaker 13: Kamala came out and showed us all this love and support.
Speaker 13: But when you took the l not only did you
Speaker 13: not come out, you sent a man to come out
Speaker 13: and address these people.
Speaker 2: He was fine too. You didn't even send another woman
Speaker 2: or black woman. This was a woman's moment.
Speaker 13: And in my opinion, that all that did was tell
Speaker 13: the folks who said women can't lead, see she sent
Speaker 13: a man out to do it and then came out
Speaker 13: the next day. That's not leadership.
Speaker 15: To me.
Speaker 13: Leadership is commitment, and commitment is doing what you said
Speaker 13: you would doue regards of how you feel. I don't
Speaker 13: care how you felt, Kamala, come out and address us.
Speaker 13: Those kids left what they had down. They weren't sad
Speaker 13: just because she lost. They were sad because they were
Speaker 13: looking for who was still their leader, whether she lost
Speaker 13: or not. To come out and address those kids.
Speaker 3: I was going to ask, what was the last time
Speaker 3: you apologize or last time you were wrong about something
Speaker 3: you remember?
Speaker 1: Good question?
Speaker 3: It probably probably.
Speaker 2: It probably was to my best friend Lola and my assistant.
Speaker 13: We work so closely together. We're always together because I'm
Speaker 13: so comfortable with her. She gets all of my moving
Speaker 13: part to be honest with What about to a man
Speaker 13: that you're dating.
Speaker 5: Didn't get an apology?
Speaker 14: I actually got to know because you you are very
Speaker 14: strong in opinion and stuff like that. And I think
Speaker 14: men think that women that are structured like you don't
Speaker 14: know how to be accountable and don't know how to apologize.
Speaker 2: I'm very accountable.
Speaker 13: I do apologize, And that's why I said, I want
Speaker 13: a man who will say with respect and me, he
Speaker 13: ain't about to just dominate, like shut your ass up
Speaker 13: to you know, he could be disrespectful, but I want
Speaker 13: a man who's like, hold on, you're out of pocket
Speaker 13: right now. You know, like, we don't do that. This
Speaker 13: is not what we do. And I like you strong,
Speaker 13: but this is not strong. This is disrespectful, baby. But
Speaker 13: I want him to be able to know how to
Speaker 13: say it, and then I will be like, you know,
Speaker 13: even if it's not in that moment, I can process
Speaker 13: and be like, you know what, you're right, and I do.
Speaker 2: I will apologize.
Speaker 13: I will come to myself because I have the discipline
Speaker 13: of that self talk of saying stock you know, or
Speaker 13: I will say, listen, you've already apologized. You've done everything
Speaker 13: you could right now. It's not a youth problem. I'm
Speaker 13: still trying to get out of my ego. So just
Speaker 13: give me thirty minutes, because baby, you've apologized, like you've.
Speaker 2: Done your job. And then I come around in twenty
Speaker 2: thirty minutes and I'm like, okay, I'm back and I'm
Speaker 2: sorry too.
Speaker 4: That's awareness, that's kind of ability.
Speaker 8: Sorry.
Speaker 13: And the thing is when you really want peace, and
Speaker 13: that's the thing about being single for so long, though.
Speaker 11: You can, yes, you find it, you figure it out.
Speaker 2: You find a piece and enjoy that.
Speaker 11: You do get in a relationship, you gotta make sense.
Speaker 13: And when you do get a relationship though, you're really
Speaker 13: saying let's dead this let's deadness argument.
Speaker 14: Yes, have you ever got afraid that you're going to
Speaker 14: get so used to that piece that you're not gonna
Speaker 14: want to do nothing? Because I tell myself the all
Speaker 14: the time, like I'm in such a good state, I
Speaker 14: don't want nothing to bother me.
Speaker 13: No, because I have been I have been serial dating
Speaker 13: for the six years I've been single. So when I
Speaker 13: say single, it means I haven't.
Speaker 2: Been committed but committed.
Speaker 13: But have I had like three months six months relationships
Speaker 13: that went that long season A word exclusive and we're
Speaker 13: committed in that season Because I am very into exclusivity.
Speaker 13: I don't like casual sex, and so I will accidentally
Speaker 13: go a year, year and a half Cellivan because I
Speaker 13: don't like the casualty of sex. And when I decide to,
Speaker 13: I would choose that one person to be around for
Speaker 13: the long term. Well when does that decision happen for you? Now,
Speaker 13: I'm in my choosing stage, so it's gonna happen now
Speaker 13: like soon. I'm in my choosing stage.
Speaker 2: But but I'm not.
Speaker 13: I'm not desperate, so it's not like again, I'm not
Speaker 13: choosing just a high valued man. I would even take
Speaker 13: a man who's a little less value, meaning a little
Speaker 13: less income money. But I just love this man. He's
Speaker 13: my person, right, so yeah, yeah, I mean he could. Yeah,
Speaker 13: so I would, And I would regular rather have a
Speaker 13: regular man who isn't in the limelight, who we both
Speaker 13: don't have to straddle this this whole industry thing, and
Speaker 13: he can go run a business or go be a
Speaker 13: corporate guy. He can come to my shows and we
Speaker 13: can go home and have intellectual pillow talk. I can
Speaker 13: go home and put my hair in a in a
Speaker 13: bird's nest and walk around with sweats and a tank
Speaker 13: top and no brawl.
Speaker 3: He is always.
Speaker 2: You know what, So you got the show truth Talks.
Speaker 13: I do Truth Talks before we get out of here.
Speaker 13: Truth Talks is my new talk show. It's on Fox.
Speaker 13: It's Monday through Friday, eight weeks.
Speaker 5: Not at all.
Speaker 13: Sometimes the producers are like, Doc, you know, give the
Speaker 13: other co hole time to talk. I'm like, I'm like,
Speaker 13: I gotta do that. But it's coolcause we're pretty much.
Speaker 2: We're a global news.
Speaker 13: We're a CNN that gives you the black voice, the
Speaker 13: black perspective and we're.
Speaker 2: Bringing truth to everything news with culture twist to it.
Speaker 2: So we're every night a PM frime time.
Speaker 1: Love that.
Speaker 13: Yeah, follow follow me on Underscore, Doctor Brian on Instagram,
Speaker 13: social media, or you can go to doctor Brian dot
Speaker 13: com and that's doctor Brian dot coeo not dot com
Speaker 13: and then I'm on my speaking to our Yeah, that's.
Speaker 5: Doctor and Brian.
Speaker 3: We appreciate you, you have thank you'll having me.
Speaker 5: It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, thank you, The Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3: Good morning everybody. It's DJ n V Jess Hilarious, Charlamage
Speaker 3: the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. Jess is on
Speaker 3: maternity leaves a lawns filling in and we got a
Speaker 3: special guest in the ability.
Speaker 6: It's going down Wallow. Listen, man, welcome to the Breakfast
Speaker 6: Club this morning, presented to you by million dollars worth
Speaker 6: a game. Listen, man, we didn't board to the company. Man,
Speaker 6: it's as good. It's going down man, We're doing it
Speaker 6: big now. Man, I'm my brother right here. I'm so
Speaker 6: proud of you. Listen, man, listen, I want to give
Speaker 6: you before I start. I gotta give you your flowers
Speaker 6: because you've been man, you me and you had something.
Speaker 6: Phone calls. We had a thousand phone calls. A couple
Speaker 6: of years ago. You hit me up. He was like, Wowow,
Speaker 6: you need a book. This is years ago and you
Speaker 6: was talking about how you and keV was talking about
Speaker 6: you and Kevin Hart was talking about the man Wallow
Speaker 6: would be crazy on the audio book, which I did
Speaker 6: my own audio book. Shout out to you know, shout
Speaker 6: out the Yana Van's aunt also who did the audio.
Speaker 6: She did the forward for me. Shout out to thirteen A,
Speaker 6: my publisher, man for you know, yes, for making it
Speaker 6: happen Simon and Schuster. But we're here now. You told me.
Speaker 6: You keep telling me about the book of your book,
Speaker 6: the book change your life. That's right. And the book,
Speaker 6: the book, that's all you kept saying. And now we
Speaker 6: hear it. Man, all will good attentions is game changed.
Speaker 1: The book title is perfect for you because there's not
Speaker 1: too many people on this planet who come with good
Speaker 1: intentions like.
Speaker 6: Wallow does appreciate that.
Speaker 4: When did you develop that mentality?
Speaker 6: I don't know, Man. I was on the street corners,
Speaker 6: I was, I was, I had good intentions on the
Speaker 6: street corners. I just wanted to still American dream, and
Speaker 6: I said, man, it's too slow. The only people that
Speaker 6: got respected my neighborhood was successful criminals. So even though
Speaker 6: I was a good person growing up, my grandma raised me,
Speaker 6: well my mom, you know, you know, I was like,
Speaker 6: I got to figure this out. So I said, I
Speaker 6: got to I got man. The only people they respect
Speaker 6: out is the people that's winning by any means. And
Speaker 6: then even in America, I was like, damn, hold up, America.
Speaker 6: They only respected Scarface, they only respect the Godfather. They
Speaker 6: don't respect nobody else. I gotta go get some money.
Speaker 6: So even though my heart was good, I had to
Speaker 6: go figure it out. And that led me to prison
Speaker 6: most of my life. And and but you know, even
Speaker 6: in their prison thirteen years right twenty twenty, I did
Speaker 6: twenty penitentiary five years, and then out the juvenile system.
Speaker 6: And even in that, I remember, you know, oh here said,
Speaker 6: all I did was laughing jail and just do what
Speaker 6: I needed to do, educate myself because I realized that,
Speaker 6: and to the point where somebody said I was one
Speaker 6: of the nicest dude in prison because I knew why
Speaker 6: I was there. I did mine so I was accountable
Speaker 6: for my books. So, you know, and that helped me
Speaker 6: change and develop into what I become today. You know,
Speaker 6: I'm just happy to be here and I and I
Speaker 6: try my best this year all the knowledge that I got,
Speaker 6: as you know, with our people to show let's listen,
Speaker 6: we're bigger than what y'all think we are. Because I
Speaker 6: always say this, and it's crazy to me. It's like,
Speaker 6: you know, back in the day, we didn't have nothing,
Speaker 6: but we had everything because we had at each other
Speaker 6: and that was important. And it's like it seemed like
Speaker 6: now we find so many reasons not to deal with
Speaker 6: each other, and it's like, God, damn, who you working for?
Speaker 6: Like you go on social media, it's like who you're
Speaker 6: working for? But I had to realize something a lot
Speaker 6: of us don't want to look in that mirror and
Speaker 6: deal with it. I don't hate envy because of his money,
Speaker 6: his cars, his family's marriage. I hate envy because m
Speaker 6: be getting love for doing something that I always wanted
Speaker 6: to do, but I ain't have enough heart to go
Speaker 6: out here and do it. Well. No, I'm not talking
Speaker 6: about that. I'm just talking about the gentlemen. Yeah, he
Speaker 6: do got that, Beijing, But I'm just saying, like shut
Speaker 6: up to Beijing, give me deals, but but like this
Speaker 6: and therapists, damn, okay, you better be paying you the
Speaker 6: way you need. But what I'm saying is like that's
Speaker 6: how culture became. It became like this in social media media.
Speaker 6: Like a lot of people got to look in the
Speaker 6: mirror and say, damn, I didn't materialize my dreams. And
Speaker 6: that's the hardest thing to do, is you know. So
Speaker 6: it's more easy to say Charlemagne the sucker, envy this, lord, this,
Speaker 6: just this. It's much more easy to say it than
Speaker 6: to say, let me get off my ass, and we're
Speaker 6: here to do something with my life. So but it's
Speaker 6: just it's just sad out here. When you see it now,
Speaker 6: it's like we just I don't know, man, and all
Speaker 6: we ever had was each other. That's the only way
Speaker 6: we ever made it in life.
Speaker 1: You said in the book, you said it's actually in
Speaker 1: the chapter Arm of Good Intentions, you said you screamed
Speaker 1: out one day and you made it a daily reminder
Speaker 1: that nobody will save you.
Speaker 6: Nobody. Especially when I was in prison, I'm like, we
Speaker 6: complain in the we doing I'm like, yo, bro, we
Speaker 6: inside these white folks spot ain't nobody coming. Like if
Speaker 6: they go off anything else, we're gonna be locked in
Speaker 6: these selves. Ain't nobody coming, But that's the same thing
Speaker 6: in the ghetto. Ain't nobody never come and save nobody?
Speaker 6: Who saves her?
Speaker 5: What was the change for you? What was because you
Speaker 5: said you were in and out? What was the change?
Speaker 6: You said?
Speaker 5: I gotta get this right and I gotta change myself.
Speaker 6: Like to be realistic, man, I got tired of being
Speaker 6: in jail with a bunchet. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: I wanted to take a butt nugga shower, you know
Speaker 6: what I mean. I couldn't do that. I wanted to
Speaker 6: slip neked in the bed. I couldn't do that because
Speaker 6: I'm in the SEC. Gotta sell you. I don't know
Speaker 6: if he might wake up in the middle of night
Speaker 6: and be like, yo, man, let me I need parts
Speaker 6: of that, like what we're doing. Yeah, straight up. He
Speaker 6: might wake up in the middle of night and be like, hey,
Speaker 6: my man, let's let's figure something out, you know what
Speaker 6: I mean. So I don't know. I'm just being real
Speaker 6: because listen, you know what's crazy. I think one of
Speaker 6: the reasons I maade it through jail, so smoothly because
Speaker 6: I was always a comedian doing a low you know
Speaker 6: what I'm saying. I was always funny. They was like, hey,
Speaker 6: because I was in there scared to death. You know
Speaker 6: how dudes come on from jail. I'll be trying to
Speaker 6: wonder that I did all this time in jail. I'll
Speaker 6: be like, what program was you on that you wasn't
Speaker 6: scared in jail? That you was just so tough because
Speaker 6: I was scared to death? Soon would they listen? As
Speaker 6: soon as that judge gave me them numbers and they
Speaker 6: you know you SHO had your thing together? Nothing mean,
Speaker 6: say my little words back before you see them. It's
Speaker 6: back and forth. Word player I had with the judge
Speaker 6: is that he'a be back on walked in the joint,
Speaker 6: you know what I mean? Now you got to do
Speaker 6: the walk back in because now you're going back into
Speaker 6: the cages where everybody looking at you when you come down.
Speaker 6: What they give you with it about nothing. Man, It
Speaker 6: gain't me a little twenty minutes by the time I
Speaker 6: get to my cell later on that I threw that
Speaker 6: tie up, crying like a baby man for a new boy. Damn.
Speaker 6: Then and then once you the shackles hit you box
Speaker 6: like an animal, the shackles going from your arm to
Speaker 6: your feet. You get upstate, you hit that penitentiary yard
Speaker 6: and you like, my mom, man, I know it was
Speaker 6: like this. I'm seeing people with knights longer than the
Speaker 6: giraft trump you. I was. I was. I went to
Speaker 6: the penitential when I was seventeen, but I hit the
Speaker 6: big prison yard when I turned eighteen. I was in
Speaker 6: Dallas Penitentiary in Pennsylvania, and uh, that was that was
Speaker 6: a different type of Joe. Man. I'm seeing people get
Speaker 6: married in the yard and all that. I'm like, I
Speaker 6: ain't trying to be nobody wife. I ain't signed up
Speaker 6: for this, so I'm I'm looking.
Speaker 5: Like married in the yard.
Speaker 6: You know, people was getting married in the yard. I said,
Speaker 6: damn man, though it was real weddings like it wasn't though,
Speaker 6: like if you got the Bible when you got somebody
Speaker 6: that's officially like you were just.
Speaker 5: In the yard.
Speaker 6: I was walking the yard.
Speaker 11: I was, you know, I wasn't a guest.
Speaker 6: I was in the backdround because I was walking in
Speaker 6: the yard. So I'm like, I'm sitting there and I'm like,
Speaker 6: I ain't trying to get married in the yard man, damn.
Speaker 6: And then I'm seeing people getting stabbed in on. I'm like, yo,
Speaker 6: I'm not trying to So I would go to my
Speaker 6: seald and be like, Yo, what the going on? I
Speaker 6: ain't signed up for this because nobody tell you this,
Speaker 6: because only stories that we hear back in the hood
Speaker 6: about jail is that you come home and you get
Speaker 6: rewarded and you get acknowledged and you tough and all
Speaker 6: this other you get muscles. But I'm like, I'm like, damn,
Speaker 6: ain't nobody talking about the scary part. So I had
Speaker 6: to be the one that a scary part to tell
Speaker 6: a real part because I was scared, especially listen. So
Speaker 6: I get up to the penitentiary this shower time I
Speaker 6: go down there, I got my boxes on and all that.
Speaker 6: So I'm like, damn, we go down there, and this
Speaker 6: is my first time in a real because I went
Speaker 6: to the penitentiary when a lot of younger dudes started
Speaker 6: to go like you was getting certified as adulty created
Speaker 6: new law, so a long time it was no young
Speaker 6: boys in the one penitentiary. I went to dollars penitentiaries,
Speaker 6: mostly old heads, and they had the most lifers in
Speaker 6: the state of Pennsylvania at this time. So you could
Speaker 6: be in a cell with anybody. You could do one
Speaker 6: year of being a cell with a life. It don't matter.
Speaker 6: So I go, I go to go to the shower.
Speaker 6: So I got my towel on, my boxes on, and
Speaker 6: when I went to the shower, right, I go down there,
Speaker 6: steamed up in everything. This shower is probably maybe fifteen
Speaker 6: shower heads and the block got one hundred and something
Speaker 6: dudes on there. So when I go in the shower room,
Speaker 6: it was like a movie. Like everybody looked at me,
Speaker 6: like while you got the boxes on? Anybody, I'm telling
Speaker 6: me it was I'm talking about it was a sword
Speaker 6: showing that joint man work with. No. No, I'm just
Speaker 6: like no, it's like that's not normal, like you, and
Speaker 6: I'm like, you know what, that day I really realized
Speaker 6: that a shower wasn't important than the bird bath. I said,
Speaker 6: I could go back to myself and just wash up there.
Speaker 6: Why would I need what? Why do a shower really
Speaker 6: mean that.
Speaker 3: You ain't taking shower your whole time, the whole way.
Speaker 6: No, I took it for a while till I just
Speaker 6: you know, went down there and short comfortable because because
Speaker 6: I had that, I was like, damn, man, like why
Speaker 6: everybody gotta be naked in this joint?
Speaker 15: Man?
Speaker 6: And then they looking at you and then they talking
Speaker 6: like like they be asked. They talking you see the game?
Speaker 6: Oh man, what's the name?
Speaker 5: Went off?
Speaker 6: Immi Smith. I'm like, man, like we ain't suposed like
Speaker 6: y'all supposed to be doing it.
Speaker 14: When did you get like like like comfortable with it?
Speaker 14: Like your first decade shower were you never got a show?
Speaker 6: But no, no, I got one when I got to
Speaker 6: the jail where you get your own booth.
Speaker 4: Okay, I wasn't trying to be a.
Speaker 6: Party because it's like it's like a volunteer, like you
Speaker 6: volunteering something.
Speaker 4: How long it took to do that?
Speaker 6: Oh years? It took years. But different jail, different part
Speaker 6: of the jail got different sections where you get a
Speaker 6: single shower. So in that jail was jings, we got
Speaker 6: the single shower locked in. But it was like, man,
Speaker 6: I always feel like that was the volunteer services, like
Speaker 6: you was giving imitations to something.
Speaker 3: So I didn't know, all right, we got more with
Speaker 3: Wallow when we come back, it's the breakfast club.
Speaker 5: Good morning.
Speaker 3: Why Everybody's dj NV, Jess, Hilaris Charlamage, the God we
Speaker 3: Are the Breakfast Club. Lauryn la Ross was filling in
Speaker 3: for Jess and we're still kicking it with Wallow. Now,
Speaker 3: I got a question, what did you realize this is
Speaker 3: what you wanted to do when you came home and
Speaker 3: you said you took that drive and you went back
Speaker 3: to you had the McDonald's with the grandma's house. When
Speaker 3: did you realize this is what you wanted to do
Speaker 3: and how you wanted to change for the next generation.
Speaker 6: I was in a shout out to the life of
Speaker 6: these Life for Brothers, this organization NWACP, and all the
Speaker 6: brothers that was in the penitentiary with me, the elders.
Speaker 6: There's an organization called Real Street Talk. So I'm in
Speaker 6: there in one of the old OG's brother, Minister Rob,
Speaker 6: shout out to him. He come to me, said, Wallow,
Speaker 6: we need you to come down here and talk. It
Speaker 6: was a bunch of brothers shere, Sharif it was ike
Speaker 6: a Big Shannon. It was a bunch of brothers that
Speaker 6: was getting together the talk to the two three hundred
Speaker 6: inmates a week that was coming in to talk to
Speaker 6: them about listen while you in jail used as your
Speaker 6: time to educate yourself. So you go back out there
Speaker 6: and make something happened with yourself. And it was called
Speaker 6: real street. So I was one of the dudes that
Speaker 6: spoke in a way to whereas though they really understood
Speaker 6: what I was saying because I was like one of
Speaker 6: the youngest dude. Even though the og spoke too, and
Speaker 6: I seen it they was listening. They was tapped into it.
Speaker 6: And it was a brother, brother, Rob Griffin. It was
Speaker 6: from the used to do security for Malcolm Xican the
Speaker 6: Nation Islam back in the day. And he came to
Speaker 6: myself one day and he was like, brother, not too
Speaker 6: many brothers out here speak, whereas though multiple generations could
Speaker 6: listen to understand it. And then that like you speak clear,
Speaker 6: keep doing that. So when I got out, just started
Speaker 6: grabbed it, grabbed that phone and just start popping it
Speaker 6: because nobody was doing it, and I knew that I
Speaker 6: had to do it in a unique way because I
Speaker 6: was battling on the timeline. I was battling for attention,
Speaker 6: you know when you go down the time I'm looking
Speaker 6: at it. I said, okay, I got to battle the girl.
Speaker 6: This ass naked. I got to battle my man with
Speaker 6: a pound of jerry On. I got to battle the rapper,
Speaker 6: the athlete, I said, I got him. That's why you've
Speaker 6: seen a lot of my videos. In the beginning. I'll
Speaker 6: be running across the highway eighteen Willer come laying on
Speaker 6: the ground, catch him on my head. They laughing. But
Speaker 6: I'm giving you the message as long as you listening.
Speaker 6: Because what everybody was afraid to tell us, like, yo,
Speaker 6: you can be great, you amazing, like we build pyramids
Speaker 6: with no cranes. I don't know what I read it
Speaker 6: in the gem, I holding, we did you mean to
Speaker 6: tell me? We came about a slavery. This little lady
Speaker 6: got us about a slavery. Sister got us about a slavery,
Speaker 6: and that ingenuity? Hold, what is going on? Frederick Douglass
Speaker 6: was who he did. What I realized this, if you
Speaker 6: can make them laugh, you can make them listen. I
Speaker 6: always love comedy because I used to listen to Paul
Speaker 6: Moody Richard probably all of my uncle played the records
Speaker 6: Red Fox, and I'll be laughing, but they'd be saying
Speaker 6: some deep and they lace it up. So I'm like, okay,
Speaker 6: I just gotta give it to our people in a
Speaker 6: different way, because I just couldn't get the whole Harriet
Speaker 6: Tubman thing to just have me just like yo, there's
Speaker 6: nothing you can't do. So I just be looking like no,
Speaker 6: it's just a different way, in a different language you're
Speaker 6: doing it. And one thing that I'm always doing. You'll
Speaker 6: never hear me talk down to hate any of our people.
Speaker 6: You know why never all of our people. They might
Speaker 6: have a different message. And no matter what you're doing
Speaker 6: business this that I don't care what you're doing. We
Speaker 6: don't have to be doing the same thing. And just
Speaker 6: because we ain't doing the same don't even if we
Speaker 6: might be doing something a similar wing gotta be mad
Speaker 6: at each other. I ain't got to hate you, ain't
Speaker 6: gotta hate me, because at the end of the day,
Speaker 6: is this really about the uplookment of our people? If
Speaker 6: it is, how can I go online and say anything
Speaker 6: bad about our people? If I really care about our people,
Speaker 6: I can't hear you down to lift them up. Mathematically,
Speaker 6: it don't work. So what I do is no matter
Speaker 6: if you say something about me, say somebody, I'm never
Speaker 6: going to say nothing about nobody because that's not going
Speaker 6: to add value to the whole plan of us.
Speaker 1: That's Wallow really like this. I'm not gonna do that
Speaker 1: even off camera. He's like you the generational curve break
Speaker 1: or Wallow.
Speaker 6: That's why I'm that.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you put out a book, man, because
Speaker 1: I need to see you on every platform having these conversations.
Speaker 6: I want to see you on the view. I want
Speaker 6: to see you. I'm getting But you know what. You
Speaker 6: know what's crazy though, and this is why our Brothers
Speaker 6: Club is a major platform for our culture and will
Speaker 6: always be. You get it when it's not cool. You
Speaker 6: get it before it go popular, you get it before
Speaker 6: it goes shiny. You get it and understand that a
Speaker 6: lot of these people don't get about it. Even though
Speaker 6: you name platforms. They don't care about that. They just
Speaker 6: want some shiny. Now, Willow come out of prison. I'm
Speaker 6: probably one of the greatest comebacks ever to come out
Speaker 6: of prison in life. But they not gonna get that
Speaker 6: to a New York Time bestseller. Here at all that stuff.
Speaker 6: They don't understand us. And we control cool, but a
Speaker 6: lot of times we don't own it. So they try
Speaker 6: to get a close proximity our coolness. And we so
Speaker 6: much suck as we don't be understanding that we don't
Speaker 6: even know why when we're being used out here. That's
Speaker 6: why it's a lot of that I see online. I'll
Speaker 6: be like, damn, we googies. Can't nobody outside of us
Speaker 6: validate us but us. I'm never gonna let nobody tell
Speaker 6: me that you're not cool, that you not cool that
Speaker 6: outside our culture. And I'm never gonna let nobody give
Speaker 6: an approval of what's cool and what's not outside of
Speaker 6: our culture of this blackness. I love being black. I'm
Speaker 6: a die blackst right. My family is black. I look
Speaker 6: at us and I say, we some extraordinary people. And
Speaker 6: it's not taking that enough from any other group of people,
Speaker 6: but everybody else love themselves. So I'm gonna love me
Speaker 6: and you know, and I got some extraordinary people that's
Speaker 6: not black, this family, that's bus. But at the end
Speaker 6: of the day, until we start loving us on all levels,
Speaker 6: we're gonna be left behind.
Speaker 3: What do you think about when when Michael Rubin was
Speaker 3: up here and said pretty much the same thing that
Speaker 3: you just said right now, but he just said we
Speaker 3: heard our.
Speaker 5: He basically said, our community hurts ourselves.
Speaker 6: That's what even saying. Let me say this though. Let
Speaker 6: me say this though, everything is the messaging because I
Speaker 6: can't speak on behalf of you know, different races. I
Speaker 6: can't do that because they gonna like so that's normal.
Speaker 6: But one thing that I can say is that everybody
Speaker 6: is speculating everybody's around. On that day that Meek was
Speaker 6: in that courtroom, I was in that courtroom to come
Speaker 6: to speak for me. Michael Rubin was in that courtroom.
Speaker 6: And when we took that break after the the you know,
Speaker 6: the judge was roughing me up I'm talking about. She
Speaker 6: was like, she was roughing me up. We went outside
Speaker 6: to the hallway and Mike looked at us and said,
Speaker 6: what's going on in here? Like this guy was really shocked.
Speaker 6: I'm like, this is being black in America. He was like,
Speaker 6: what the I'm talking about? He was personally pissed because
Speaker 6: he didn't understand them to be going because a lot
Speaker 6: of people just don't know.
Speaker 1: He said, he didn't realize there was two Americas until
Speaker 1: that he.
Speaker 6: Listen that day. He looked at and then he attempted
Speaker 6: to walk back in the courtroom after we had the conversation,
Speaker 6: and she slapped him around and he like what the
Speaker 6: like cause he stood up and spoke and stood up,
Speaker 6: and she was like all right, writing in the paper
Speaker 6: like he went and done something. I respect Mike for that.
Speaker 6: You know, people when have their opinions on people. But
Speaker 6: I'm talking about when I see a good person, I
Speaker 6: see a good person, I salute a good person. That's it.
Speaker 6: I ain't with all that other because I'm gonna tell
Speaker 6: you something. Man, to be real with you, I got
Speaker 6: a lot of people that's not black. They help out
Speaker 6: of me because they really people that really believe that.
Speaker 6: And I ain't talking about business. I'm talking about in life,
Speaker 6: people that people that love you love you. It's not
Speaker 6: it's not always gonna be a colored thing. And I
Speaker 6: know we fight so much to get us together, but
Speaker 6: at the end of the day, while you spend your
Speaker 6: time on this planet, you better love who loved you,
Speaker 6: and you better figure out who loved you and who
Speaker 6: got your back. Because I'm gonna tell you something. I
Speaker 6: don't know what anybody else doing out here, but I'm
Speaker 6: forty five and I'm saying to myself, hopefully I get
Speaker 6: another forty five out here because my grandma ninety. So
Speaker 6: I'm measuring it by my uncle James, rusting piece of him.
Speaker 6: He died, he was ninety three or ninety four. But
Speaker 6: we gotta we got a nice limp in our joint.
Speaker 6: Oh was that a pause camp? I gotta run that podcas,
Speaker 6: because I'm talking about the lift of years. I'm not
Speaker 6: saying but oh yeah, pass definitely, I got to call it.
Speaker 6: But what I'm saying is, well, you was a pause champion.
Speaker 6: He got the more of you and the guinnis. But
Speaker 6: I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this though I'm
Speaker 6: looking at it like I'm forty five. Now, there's a
Speaker 6: big chance I'm getting out of this joint one day.
Speaker 6: I can't worry. I'm gonna be going. I gotta go.
Speaker 6: I gotta go, and when I go, my whole thing.
Speaker 6: I want to be able to say I left that planet.
Speaker 6: That's why, that's why I live the life that I live.
Speaker 6: I do me. If I want to buy someone buy it.
Speaker 6: If I wanna go somewhere, I gonna somewhere. I'm not
Speaker 6: living my life based off of some fears because guess what,
Speaker 6: you know, how many mothers in the graveyard sitting there, Madge,
Speaker 6: Like damn, I should have got busy. Damn I should
Speaker 6: have went here. Damn I should have done this. We
Speaker 6: don't do it enough. We don't live enough. We don't
Speaker 6: we don't put more positive energy out enough. Because I'm
Speaker 6: saying to myself, Damn, I gotta I got a lot
Speaker 6: of shit to make up on because I know, you know,
Speaker 6: when I see God, I don't want it to be
Speaker 6: like that. And I'll tell you because God get funky
Speaker 6: with people. You know what I mean. I don't want
Speaker 6: to be the one who, like you, had plenty of time.
Speaker 6: You know where you gotta go at the end of
Speaker 6: the day. I just try to put the best energy
Speaker 6: possible out there to our people to let them know, Listen, man,
Speaker 6: we ain't got time. We ain't gonna be he if ever,
Speaker 6: love each other, do what you gotta do and keep
Speaker 6: it moving. But one day you gotta get up out
Speaker 6: of here.
Speaker 5: We got more with Wallow.
Speaker 3: When we come back as the Breakfast Club, Good Morning,
Speaker 3: everybody is dj n V Jesselari Charlamage the God. We
Speaker 3: are the Breakfast Club. Law on the Roaster is feeling
Speaker 3: in for Jess. We're still kick it with Wallow. His
Speaker 3: book On With Good Intentions is out right now. One
Speaker 3: thing I want you to talk about before we leave,
Speaker 3: you said.
Speaker 1: You said the feeling of not being punished for doing
Speaker 1: something you knew was wrong was equivalent to your first orgasm.
Speaker 1: How long did it take for you to actually feel
Speaker 1: guilt when when you did something wrong?
Speaker 6: Man, it took me a while because you're young and
Speaker 6: you just don't know, so it takes you a while,
Speaker 6: and then when it hit you just be like, damn,
Speaker 6: there's some crazy. But it was a while. It was
Speaker 6: just a thirsty It was just I don't know. I
Speaker 6: think I was just part of stealing an American dream.
Speaker 6: I was doing my thing because I wanted to be
Speaker 6: You understand, I'm looking at these movies, man, I'm looking
Speaker 6: at rayleiol In Modude Feelers, and you know the part
Speaker 6: where he burning the cars up, He's throwing the joint.
Speaker 6: He said. By the time I was fourteen, I was
Speaker 6: making more money than the grown ups around my neighborhood.
Speaker 6: I'm like, damn, I wanted to be there. I wanted
Speaker 6: some money. Because we're gonna be obvious, I always tell
Speaker 6: people that when that guy in the eighties pull up
Speaker 6: with that Benz and if you know what I'm telling me,
Speaker 6: he got the Bens in the eighties. He got that
Speaker 6: gold chain on, he got that Felix sweatshoot on with
Speaker 6: them felas, he got them rings on them, nugget rains
Speaker 6: and all that. And he pulled up to the neighborhood.
Speaker 6: He's pulling up to our black communities to deal with
Speaker 6: the most beautifulest girl in our neighborhood. And when he
Speaker 6: up to get her, as he opened in the car door,
Speaker 6: and she get in the car door, you know, speaking
Speaker 6: to him, Mims Johnson, Ms Brown, Miss Green, They hey, baby.
Speaker 6: But at the same time, you seeing mister john come
Speaker 6: back from work. He's a plumber or dirty and anybody
Speaker 6: speaking to him. I'm sitting on the step watching all
Speaker 6: they take place. So I said, Damn, I gotta be
Speaker 6: a part of the in the black community. The women
Speaker 6: dictate who the men want to grow up to be
Speaker 6: based off of who they date. Real So I'm looking
Speaker 6: at it like I'm only seeing these girls. They the
Speaker 6: dealers and dudes. They got nice cars. I gotta get
Speaker 6: me some nice cars to get me some asks. I
Speaker 6: gotta get some I gotta get some jury, I gotta
Speaker 6: get some fly. I gotta get fly. That's what it
Speaker 6: was about.
Speaker 1: And the way you saw to get fly people set
Speaker 1: they only respected the criminals in the game.
Speaker 6: Listen, do you go ask any judges, lawyers, prosecutors and
Speaker 6: all that. What's your favorite movies? Gott Fovers, what's your
Speaker 6: favorite series? The Sopranos, Everything Gonna Be. They love the
Speaker 6: successful criminals. So I grew up to try to be that.
Speaker 6: But as I grew older, I took responsibility say oh, yeah,
Speaker 6: I want I did wrong. You never heard me say
Speaker 6: it was no. I wasn't in jail for some magically
Speaker 6: did or because of the white man. I was in
Speaker 6: jail because I wanted to get busy, and I did
Speaker 6: what I did.
Speaker 14: To your point about women shaping everything, you talk a
Speaker 14: lot about black women and see no women and how
Speaker 14: you staff your team with women, can you talk like
Speaker 14: why that's important and how that's helped you along your
Speaker 14: journey as you like, Bill.
Speaker 6: Shout out to my manager, business part of the desiree Ivy,
Speaker 6: shout out the Amrin, shout out the sham lost in
Speaker 6: my attorney. These women. Let me say a something to
Speaker 6: you about these women. They get done, that's right. They
Speaker 6: not playing games at all. I don't know what it
Speaker 6: is about. Know that getting them going crazy? They lose
Speaker 6: their mind about No, I'll be like, damn, what happened?
Speaker 6: Somebody told me, No, todath what what's going on? Don't
Speaker 6: worry about mind your business. I'll get to the bottom.
Speaker 6: I'll tell you when I get it done. They move different,
Speaker 6: and you know what, you know what's going on. I
Speaker 6: just want to say this, and a lot of these
Speaker 6: companies in America, they be playing games, and a lot
Speaker 6: of times people don't see them because they be in
Speaker 6: the shadows. But when it comes to our culture, black
Speaker 6: women running absolutely. I'm talking about from not just from
Speaker 6: the consumer side, not just from the marketing side, but
Speaker 6: from the boardrooms. The sisters. I went to the ballroom
Speaker 6: of Rich Claiming Company was sisters running there. Sisters running everywhere, like,
Speaker 6: I don't think you're gonna get something off. You ain't
Speaker 6: got no sts in that folk.
Speaker 1: Every single inpathy I got a black woman running.
Speaker 6: Shout out to all the dollars, Dolley's a monster, She's
Speaker 6: no joking, Nicole. Shout out to all the sisters out
Speaker 6: there that's doing it, going up against all the books,
Speaker 6: all the racism, in these companies, y'all, y'all going to HR.
Speaker 6: HR is playing games with y'all. They they trying to
Speaker 6: weed y'all out. Because as soon as the sister get
Speaker 6: up and she stand up for usself, oh she's being
Speaker 6: everybody played victims. Soon as the sisters speak up for herself,
Speaker 6: these people being, these corporations throwing all these rocks. As
Speaker 6: soon as the sisters say, I'm not going for that,
Speaker 6: oh my god, she's being aggressive. Oh my god, I'm scared.
Speaker 6: Locked the door. Get that. That's cat because the sisters
Speaker 6: stepped up for us. One thing about a black woman.
Speaker 6: I don't care who. She's not dealing with, no book.
Speaker 6: Why do you think we scared of?
Speaker 1: That's right?
Speaker 6: But I just want to shout out to everybody out
Speaker 6: there that's doing anything, and I need to say this
Speaker 6: to you. I don't care if you gotta what I stand.
Speaker 6: You got a T shirt company, you gotta put the
Speaker 6: tape out music, you're doing art, you won yes away
Speaker 6: from your world changing. Stop looking on Instagram and thinking
Speaker 6: everybody's beating you and you running late and you ain't enough.
Speaker 6: And I want to say something to the sisters out there.
Speaker 6: You are enough they'll never let nobody finish you on.
Speaker 6: Tell you that you got to be this, and you
Speaker 6: gotta have this, you gotta wear this, you gotta go head,
Speaker 6: you gotta take Libya like do you in every way possible.
Speaker 6: And tell them young brothers out there, y'all kings, y'all
Speaker 6: ain't slaves. What y'all gotta do is y'all got to understand,
Speaker 6: y'all the most fearless group of young men ever on
Speaker 6: the history of life. This generation right now, it's the
Speaker 6: most fearless Black men ever. Y'all do not give off.
Speaker 6: Just imagine if y'all switch that up. Imagine what you
Speaker 6: could do when you go when you say, you know what,
Speaker 6: I don't want to be a drug deal I want
Speaker 6: to be a business man. I don't want to be
Speaker 6: a killer. I want to be a healer. I want
Speaker 6: to be a giver. I'm saying they could change, and
Speaker 6: to my young brothers in the rap community, stay away
Speaker 6: from them drugs man. And it's coming from a man
Speaker 6: that never did a drug a day in his life.
Speaker 6: I never did it because I had to watch my homies.
Speaker 6: I had to make sure they get home at night.
Speaker 6: And my homies smoked you know they didn't smoke. PCP
Speaker 6: did all that type of you know, to snort. The
Speaker 6: little coach you know, did a little bit of little
Speaker 6: but I always watched it and I said, that ain't
Speaker 6: for me. And I don't know who told you this.
Speaker 6: If you feel as though you're going through somebody, find
Speaker 6: somebody to talk to, get a therapist, get a therapist.
Speaker 6: Stop trying to self medicate yourself because you don't know
Speaker 6: what you doing it. And I'm gonna tell you something, brothers,
Speaker 6: when you hit the town, you young brothers, and I'm
Speaker 6: gonna be real with you, everybody is trying their way
Speaker 6: to get some drugs to you. And you don't know
Speaker 6: if anybody drugs is drugs. I'm just being straight up.
Speaker 6: I don't know you know what I mean. I'm just saying,
Speaker 6: you got all these people making fake this, fake this.
Speaker 6: You don't know what you're taking. And when you get
Speaker 6: that money, young brothers, stay out of it. Don't stay
Speaker 6: off them handcuffs. Man, Please please, man, don't disrespect your
Speaker 6: blessing because God ain't gonna keep blessing you. Man. You
Speaker 6: think God, listen, God gotta work with billions of people.
Speaker 6: You think God would just keep coming around blessing you.
Speaker 6: God ain't gonna keep blessing you. Take advantage of these blessings,
Speaker 6: keep doing your thing, and just know, anytime you see
Speaker 6: donks stop me, I'm gonna say something to you. I'm
Speaker 6: gonna tell you what's going on. And a lot of
Speaker 6: y'all know I'll reach out. I DM y'all, I talk
Speaker 6: to y'all regular man. Just know that you kings, know
Speaker 6: that you queens, and know that the world is waiting
Speaker 6: for all of us. Listen, Am with Good Intentions is
Speaker 6: out now. Man, everybody go pick this book up from Wallow.
Speaker 6: We gotta make this in New York Times Best sell up.
Speaker 1: You see it when Today tonight we're gonna be at
Speaker 1: Uncle Bobby's in Philadelphia, me and my man Wallow having
Speaker 1: more conversation.
Speaker 4: Bobby's yes about this book. Armed with Good Intentions.
Speaker 6: Make sure we get you, my man spyed. Make sure
Speaker 6: to give you them cheese steaks. You like them, taste
Speaker 6: cheese steaks.
Speaker 4: I had some joints something when I was like she
Speaker 4: was he was home, he too.
Speaker 6: The way you made them.
Speaker 1: Damn yeah, yeah, yeste sleut. The taste sell cheese tak.
Speaker 1: It's a little crazy. Now I like that type of stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know, and uh find find your way to
Speaker 1: support local businesses. Make wallow a New York Times best Fellers,
Speaker 1: what happened? I can't wallow on tammering and.
Speaker 6: All that stuff all up. We gotta Also, if you're
Speaker 6: out there, if you have any hair killing companies, d
Speaker 6: J mvious looking for sponsors like the sponsors gentleman.
Speaker 3: Intentions.
Speaker 6: Now pick it up. It's the breakfast club.
Speaker 5: Good morning.
Speaker 6: I heard them.
Speaker 3: Donkey again, man donkey Uh.
Speaker 6: Eyas true?
Speaker 1: Yes, donkey today goes to Reginald renods in Mia bagging Stuce.
Speaker 1: I'm sure I pronounce that name wrong, but we can
Speaker 1: call her me a bag of dope. They are thirty
Speaker 1: five and thirty seven years old, respectfully. They are from Portland, Oregon.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why. When I saw this story
Speaker 1: any day, I thought to myself, either I'm experiencing dejapu
Speaker 1: or I've done this story before. But I figured out
Speaker 1: the issue. The issue is there's this bag that people buy.
Speaker 1: In the bag says things about drugs on it. This particular,
Speaker 1: in this particular case, Reginald and Mia had a bag
Speaker 1: that said definitely not a bag full of drugs. That's
Speaker 1: what it's said on the bag. Definitely not a bag
Speaker 1: full of drugs. Now, if I was a police officer
Speaker 1: or any type of law enforcement and there was a
Speaker 1: bag in your car that said definitely not a bag
Speaker 1: full of drugs, guess what bag, I'm gonna probably search first. Now,
Speaker 1: granted I wouldn't actually believe someone is stupid enough to
Speaker 1: have a bag full of drugs in a bag labeled
Speaker 1: bag full of drugs, but this is this is her, Okay,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. Whatever level of stupidity your brain can conceive,
Speaker 1: there is a donkey on this planet who can.
Speaker 4: Let's go to ABC ten for the report.
Speaker 12: Police Tony, We're looking into a story that seems hard
Speaker 12: to believe. It claims a couple was arrested after officers
Speaker 12: found drugs in a bag that had definitely not a
Speaker 12: bag full of drugs printed on it, and focus on
Speaker 12: a true The Portland Police Bureau in Oregon look at
Speaker 12: this posted this picture on social media. They say they
Speaker 12: discover the bag, along with cash, a gun, and scales
Speaker 12: during a traffic stop tuesday. Inside the bag, you guessed
Speaker 12: that they found more than ten grams of fentanyl and meth. Yeah,
Speaker 12: the couple was booked on drug charges along with unauthorized
Speaker 12: use of a vehicle and possession of a stolen vehicle.
Speaker 1: See some of these donkeys be layered. Why would you
Speaker 1: be riding dirty in a stolen car? Can you please
Speaker 1: commit to one crime at a time? Do you simultaneously
Speaker 1: have to be committing multiple fellow the offenses? And if
Speaker 1: you're going to be in a stolen car where the
Speaker 1: four Taurus's ignition has been visibly tampered with, why would
Speaker 1: you have baggies of drugs just visible in a stolen car?
Speaker 4: Not to mention, you got this.
Speaker 1: Big brown canvas bag labeled definitely not a bag full
Speaker 1: of drugs, And in that bag, and in that bag
Speaker 1: with seventy nine blue fens and all pills three fake.
Speaker 4: What like your mouth waters?
Speaker 11: Just that's crazy?
Speaker 4: Are you doing in Delaware?
Speaker 1: Three fake oxycodone tablets and two hundred and thirty grams
Speaker 1: of meth?
Speaker 4: Not to mention a loaded thirty eight.
Speaker 1: I know I wrote a book called Getting on Us
Speaker 1: to Die line, But damn okay, rech no lema. You
Speaker 1: know they probably was telling the officers like, look, officer,
Speaker 1: we'll just practicing radical honesty.
Speaker 4: You know, transparency in crime is.
Speaker 1: A new movement, and that officer was like, thank you
Speaker 1: for making my job easier.
Speaker 6: By the way, this.
Speaker 1: Transparency and crime movement still comes with fifteen years to life. Now.
Speaker 4: I know what some of you might be thinking, it's
Speaker 4: organ aren't drugs legal? And Oregon?
Speaker 1: Well, in twenty twenty, organ decriminalized the possession of small
Speaker 1: amounts of hard drugs in an effort to readirect city
Speaker 1: funding from criminalization and toward treatment of substance use disorders.
Speaker 1: To measure pass with high levels of public support, that
Speaker 1: faltered as overdose and homelessness rates roles in the state
Speaker 1: during the COVID nineteen pandemic when Rihanna makeup became widely available.
Speaker 1: But in September, the state recriminalized drug possession.
Speaker 4: So the moral of the story is all of this
Speaker 4: was illegal. Okay. There's absolutely no right way.
Speaker 1: To do the wrong thing, even in Oregon, and everything
Speaker 1: Reginald and Mia did.
Speaker 4: Was completely wrong. Okay.
Speaker 1: Reginald and Mia might be the first criminals in the
Speaker 1: history of crime who actually labeled the evidence for the police.
Speaker 1: And I know they thought labeling it not a bag
Speaker 1: full of drugs would throw people off, like, there's no
Speaker 1: way folks would think they were that dumb.
Speaker 4: But it's not about what we think.
Speaker 1: It's about what you know about yourself, Reginald and Mia Okay,
Speaker 1: you had to know that you are.
Speaker 4: Indeed that dumb.
Speaker 1: Okay, please get Reginald Reynolds and Mia Baggings, the Sweet Sounds.
Speaker 4: And the Hamiltones.
Speaker 15: Oh oh they.
Speaker 4: That is ridiculous. A question that's like Lauren wearing a
Speaker 4: T shirt that says definitely not single.
Speaker 11: Like you wearing a T shirt saying definitely healed because.
Speaker 4: It's a journey is yes, okay, okay, what is your question?
Speaker 11: Like weed and portchit and guess who's.
Speaker 4: Need I love to be thank you very much, my girl.
Speaker 14: But everybody knows that the real cat like the comebacks.
Speaker 14: It's mean, it's the house that you need Leaks built.
Speaker 14: But anyway, my question before I was rudely interrupted, yes'm
Speaker 14: is this.
Speaker 11: Not entrapment though? Because why would you be allowed.
Speaker 14: To sell a back that says definitely not drugs knowing
Speaker 14: that someone might put drugs in it because they think
Speaker 14: it's like funny or something.
Speaker 1: There's this thing called attire, and so whoever made that
Speaker 1: bag was just making it, probably just to be funny,
Speaker 1: and they knew that, you know, people would walk around
Speaker 1: with the buggers just like up. The bag is like
Speaker 1: a fashion statement, but they didn't think they actually put
Speaker 1: drugs inside of it.
Speaker 6: You got a burket?
Speaker 5: What is this on your berkey?
Speaker 4: Not fake?
Speaker 11: Yes, like this shout out the Sunday Saturdays.
Speaker 1: You take like this.
Speaker 11: Burken but that that has nothing.
Speaker 6: I hate this.
Speaker 11: I just was that was a whole tree. You playing today,
Speaker 11: baby in the soil. Alright, don't worry. I got a
Speaker 11: new bob and I got.
Speaker 5: Some I'm ready to breakfast club.
Speaker 3: Warning everybody, as Steen j n V. Charlamage the goud
Speaker 3: we are the breakfast Club. We got a special guest.
Speaker 4: In the building, my guy.
Speaker 3: He's an author New York Time best selling author. He's
Speaker 3: an entrepreneur, he is a podcast host and now he
Speaker 3: is a model as well. Ladies and gentlemen, j she
Speaker 3: a mother.
Speaker 1: By the way, Jay Sheddy is more than a podcast hole.
Speaker 1: She has one of the top ten biggest podcasts in
Speaker 1: the world. Right, Okay, I think that's a very important
Speaker 1: to note because everybody got a podcast.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 1: Jay said he had one of the top ten biggest
Speaker 1: podcast in the world was the number five.
Speaker 6: I think.
Speaker 9: I think so that's on Spotify. I think that's what
Speaker 9: it came out us. But no, thank you for having me, guys.
Speaker 9: I love being here with you, guys. I'm so grateful
Speaker 9: to be back with you. Congrats on the new studio
Speaker 9: and that's not new you for your viewers, but it's
Speaker 9: new for me being in with you. But thank you,
Speaker 9: Thank you guys.
Speaker 1: You just sat down with First Lady Michelle Obama. Conversation
Speaker 1: was everywhere right, and she expressed how terrified she was
Speaker 1: about this election year. What was it like hearing that
Speaker 1: from her? And how do you process that? Did that
Speaker 1: give you anxiety when you hit it?
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's an interesting thought process because I can't vote
Speaker 9: in this country. I moved here eight years ago. I
Speaker 9: have a green card, but I don't you know, I
Speaker 9: don't have voting rights, and I moved here the Trump
Speaker 9: became president in twenty sixteen, and so I've had an
Speaker 9: interesting education in the United States. I haven't you know,
Speaker 9: I didn't grow up learning American history or American politics,
Speaker 9: so I'm also very uneducated in that space. Specifically, I
Speaker 9: think for me, I look at most things as things
Speaker 9: I can and can't control. And when I think about
Speaker 9: things that make me anxious on a global scale, I
Speaker 9: often ask myself what is the root of that anxiety
Speaker 9: in my community? So if I'm seeing whether it's ignorance,
Speaker 9: whether it's a lack of understanding, whether it's a lack
Speaker 9: of curiosity, openness, compassion on a global scale, I'm asking myself,
Speaker 9: where does that exist within me and my friends and
Speaker 9: my society, And how do I start impacting that because
Speaker 9: that I can control. And so I've been practicing that
Speaker 9: for a long time because I feel that there's a
Speaker 9: lot of things that give me anxiety, Like there's a
Speaker 9: lot of things that can stress me out. There's something
Speaker 9: new in the news every day that can do that.
Speaker 9: So to me, I try and bring down global events
Speaker 9: into the personal and intimate because otherwise it's so chaotic
Speaker 9: and so hard to deal with.
Speaker 4: How many times do you how often have you broken
Speaker 4: your own eight rules of love?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Every day?
Speaker 4: Every day? Man, every day.
Speaker 9: I don't think it's you know, it goes back to
Speaker 9: that how can I heal someone? I'm still healing myself,
Speaker 9: And it goes to the reality of and I think
Speaker 9: we all know this at this table. Everything in life
Speaker 9: is a process, right, Like even if you took something
Speaker 9: really tangible, Like we say this person is rich, we
Speaker 9: talk about them as if they can never lose it
Speaker 9: and that will always be theirs. That's actually not true.
Speaker 9: People could lose all their money. We talk about someone
Speaker 9: being famous, you could lose that. So in the same
Speaker 9: way healing progress, development, you can lose it. And I
Speaker 9: think we've got so lost in that destination addiction, the
Speaker 9: belief that you get to a point from which there
Speaker 9: is no return. And I think that destination addiction is
Speaker 9: really misleading in the wellness space because we feel like,
Speaker 9: oh now I'm healed. And I think it comes from
Speaker 9: this idea of if you think about it right, social
Speaker 9: media is full before and off the pictures, this where
Speaker 9: I used to be, look at where I am now, right,
Speaker 9: And it's always like saying I used to be in
Speaker 9: a bad place, now I'm in a great place. No process,
Speaker 9: no process, and linear when the real life life is
Speaker 9: this every day it's just cyclical. And I think we've
Speaker 9: made our minds feel that journey's are linear. It's like
Speaker 9: A to B, like going from LA to New York
Speaker 9: or New York to LA it's linear, but we know
Speaker 9: that life is so much more cyclical. And so yes,
Speaker 9: I've broken the eight Rules of Love every day, every
Speaker 9: week of my life.
Speaker 1: One of the things you said, man, that I think
Speaker 1: is so important that I want people to really get
Speaker 1: from this if they don't get nothing else from this conversation,
Speaker 1: is like, there's no manual for any of this. You're
Speaker 1: not going to be the perfect husband, You're not going
Speaker 1: to be the perfect father. I spend so much time
Speaker 1: simply apologizing to my wife and apologizing to my kids
Speaker 1: because I don't ever want them to think that I'm
Speaker 1: trying to come off with some perfect human who never
Speaker 1: gets anything wrong right.
Speaker 4: And I think that is that's very important to do.
Speaker 1: And just being present, like when you're when.
Speaker 4: You're when your wife calls, your child calls.
Speaker 1: You, even if you in that moment you weren't present.
Speaker 1: As soon as I'm done whatever I'm doing, I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry that you know I had to do that, but
Speaker 1: I had to go do X, Y and Z in
Speaker 1: that moment.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 9: Absolutely, And I think I think the thing about the
Speaker 9: point you just made, and I hope this is what
Speaker 9: someone takes away from this as well is I think
Speaker 9: a lot of us in our minds when we do introspect,
Speaker 9: we're quite heavy and harsh on ourselves. I think a
Speaker 9: lot of people are walking around with a internal in
Speaker 9: a critical voice that is completely making them feel terrible,
Speaker 9: and so when anyone says something externally, it's worse. And
Speaker 9: I just want to remind people that you can't hate
Speaker 9: yourself into change, Like you can't guilt yourself into growth.
Speaker 9: You can't blame yourself into a breakthrough. When was the
Speaker 9: last time you changed who you were because someone hated you?
Speaker 4: Never when was.
Speaker 9: The last time you supported someone you hate deeply? So
Speaker 9: if you're hating, blaming, guilty yourself, it may get you started,
Speaker 9: but it won't get you there. And so anyone who's
Speaker 9: giving themselves a hard time, I'm not saying to give
Speaker 9: yourself an easy time, but that inner grace, that inner
Speaker 9: forgiveness is such an important part of you actually becoming better.
Speaker 9: So you're not doing it because you're trying to take
Speaker 9: it easy on yourself. You're doing it because it's going
Speaker 9: to let you get through the hard times.
Speaker 3: The most important thing, I think for a lot of
Speaker 3: people is back to what you said with forgiveness and grace.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 5: A lot of things that we do is learn behavior.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 3: Why do people pop their children usually because they got
Speaker 3: popped as a child. You know a lot of the
Speaker 3: things that we learned and we were taught with.
Speaker 9: Yeah, there's that famous quote you just reminded me of
Speaker 9: that says, by the time you realize that your parents
Speaker 9: are right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong.
Speaker 9: And it's that awkward position that we end up in.
Speaker 9: But you know what's really interesting about that. I was
Speaker 9: talking to someone about this at dinner last night, and
Speaker 9: there's this old story that I heard a while ago,
Speaker 9: and it's always resonated with me, even with my own childhood,
Speaker 9: not in particular, but in essence. So the story goes
Speaker 9: that these two men were interviewed and one was an
Speaker 9: alcoholic and the other one had never drunk alcohol, and
Speaker 9: they were brothers, and they interviewed them and then they
Speaker 9: asked the one who drank alcohol and was an alcoholic,
Speaker 9: he said, why are you an alcoholic? He said, my
Speaker 9: dad was an alcoholic. And then they asked the other brother,
Speaker 9: why don't you drink? And he said, my dad was
Speaker 9: an alcoholic. And so I think a lot of us
Speaker 9: got an education and what not to do, but we
Speaker 9: ended up repeating it instead of breaking the cycle. And
Speaker 9: I feel like in my life I had to. I
Speaker 9: got a great education in a lot of my areas
Speaker 9: of life in what not to do and who not
Speaker 9: to be, and I took all those little notes down
Speaker 9: and I think that's what's improved my life. So I
Speaker 9: think if we're constantly waiting for the perfect example and
Speaker 9: the perfect space and the perfect surroundings and the perfect
Speaker 9: aren't an uncle and the perfect parent, it's like we
Speaker 9: may be waiting forever because no one's perfect. So we
Speaker 9: almost have to make a list of what not to do,
Speaker 9: but what not to do also how.
Speaker 1: To That's why that's why podcast on Purpose is so important.
Speaker 1: That's my podcast, like you know, Debbie Brown deeply Well,
Speaker 1: is so important because we learn how to, you know,
Speaker 1: break break a lot of these cycles.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, we got more with Jay Shetty when we come
Speaker 3: back keeping lock this the breakfast club, Good morning morning.
Speaker 3: Everybody is the DJ en Vy Charlamagne the guy. We
Speaker 3: are the breakfast Club. We're still kicking it with Jay Shetty, Charlamagne.
Speaker 4: Are you wearing gap right now?
Speaker 9: No, no, right now, Okay, I'm just because you saw
Speaker 9: that the gap caps, that's.
Speaker 4: Just thought he was handsome. I was like, all right,
Speaker 4: j you know, you know I wasn't expecting that from you.
Speaker 4: Thank you, man.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you know you and your wife do the
Speaker 1: holiday holiday gap campaign.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, we we were just you know, when we
Speaker 9: got asked to do that, it was like we couldn't
Speaker 9: believe it.
Speaker 4: We're like, what is this?
Speaker 9: You know, like we grew up watching the gap campaigns,
Speaker 9: like the holiday campaigns especially, and any I've said to
Speaker 9: my wife, any time I get to do any work
Speaker 9: with her is my favorite thing because I have to
Speaker 9: hang with all day. And so that shoot was fun.
Speaker 9: They made it fun. The creative team was fantastic, Like
Speaker 9: it was a good time. We walked out of there
Speaker 9: having had a great day. So yeah, it was a
Speaker 9: lot of fun. And then was it was surreal because
Speaker 9: you know, yeah, definitely never been a model, So I.
Speaker 4: Wanted to ask you to do you get pushed back from.
Speaker 1: People who watch you sit down with a Michelle Obama
Speaker 1: or a Jada Pinkey Smith.
Speaker 4: Why didn't you challenge them on this? Why didn't you
Speaker 4: challenge them on that?
Speaker 9: Yeah, I don't get pushed back for not challenging people
Speaker 9: because I think the questions I ask are challenging in
Speaker 9: a different way. But I think I'll get pushed back
Speaker 9: because someone doesn't like that person. Yeah, but what I've
Speaker 9: found every single time is that when someone actually listens
Speaker 9: to the episode or watches it on YouTube, if you
Speaker 9: look at that comment section, it is spectacular, like when
Speaker 9: someone's actually taking out time out of the day to
Speaker 9: listen for an hour or watch for an hour, and
Speaker 9: then you see the comment section, you'll see people having
Speaker 9: complete I had people reaching out about both those episodes,
Speaker 9: the President Biden interview as well that we did earlier
Speaker 9: last year, and the comments of people who actually listened
Speaker 9: to it. And by the way, a lot of people
Speaker 9: were like, hey, I don't agree with this person's politics.
Speaker 9: I'm actually on completely on the other side. But I
Speaker 9: just want you to know that listening to this interview
Speaker 9: was so enlightening from a human perspective. Thank you for
Speaker 9: putting it out there. And I respect that approach because
Speaker 9: I think that's why I do the interview. I don't
Speaker 9: do the interview for any other reason apart from us
Speaker 9: looking at the broken mirror and looking back and saying, Okay,
Speaker 9: where can I resonate with the humanity of this individual
Speaker 9: or where can I relate to this person? So yeah,
Speaker 9: I think that's generally the pushback. But the comments section.
Speaker 9: I encourage you on those episodes to go look at
Speaker 9: the YouTube comment section. It's phenomenal to read what people
Speaker 9: are getting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think your conversation with Jada Pinkett Smith
Speaker 1: the clips is what's set off the Jada pinker hatred,
Speaker 1: not because of you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But if you didn't watch the whole conversation in context
Speaker 1: and you just saw clips.
Speaker 9: Yeah, she got a tech yeah, yeah, and Jada's a
Speaker 9: dear friend for me. So it's yeah, it's it's a
Speaker 9: tough one because I think any clip about anyone I said.
Speaker 4: I had someone say this to me today.
Speaker 9: Yesterday they said to me Jay, they met me for
Speaker 9: the first time and they were like, Jay, you're so
Speaker 9: much nicer in person. I didn't like you off of
Speaker 9: your Instagram and I was like, fair enough, Like that's cool,
Speaker 9: but it's so hard for me to be all of
Speaker 9: myself in thirty seconds and I'm trying my best. You're
Speaker 9: trying your best you'll try your best, but it's hard
Speaker 9: for any of.
Speaker 4: Us like not to like about you on Instagram. You're
Speaker 4: with your wife.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, puppy's looking your fate.
Speaker 9: No, in the sense of I think he was just
Speaker 9: like you know, I feel like you feel a bit
Speaker 9: like whatever it was, like whatever he's I don't even
Speaker 9: know what it was. But I think all of us,
Speaker 9: if you judged any of ourselves at thirty second real, oh,
Speaker 9: I'm sure all of us would agree it's not who
Speaker 9: we are, you know.
Speaker 4: So, and that's why I have stuck.
Speaker 9: I do stuff with my wife because I feel I'm
Speaker 9: most myself when I'm with my wife because naturally it's
Speaker 9: the person I spend the most time with.
Speaker 4: And so, but even.
Speaker 9: Even with all of us, like, I've got to meet
Speaker 9: you guys in person a few times now. We win
Speaker 9: canned with iHeart on, you know, for the festival last
Speaker 9: year together, And I think when you've met people in person,
Speaker 9: that's the only time you're going to feel like you've
Speaker 9: got to know them. I don't think anyone under I
Speaker 9: feel like if someone if someone okay, if someone follows
Speaker 9: me on Instagram, they understand maybe ten percent of who
Speaker 9: I am. If they listen to my podcast, they probably
Speaker 9: understand seventy five percent of who I am, because they're
Speaker 9: really dialing into who I am. If they've read my
Speaker 9: books and my podcast, they're probably like at that eighty
Speaker 9: nine percent. If they've seen me live, there at the
Speaker 9: ninety five percent, and then when someone's met me in person,
Speaker 9: it's one hundred percent. And so I think it's all percentages.
Speaker 9: And I, you know, I hope that we all again
Speaker 9: going back to forgiveness and grace. I hope that we
Speaker 9: can all give each other a bit more benefit of
Speaker 9: the doubt because I think it will go a long
Speaker 9: way for people.
Speaker 1: You say, language has created the word loneliness they express
Speaker 1: the pain of being alone, and it has created the
Speaker 1: word solitude, express the glory of being alone. Could you
Speaker 1: could expound on that?
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's a Paul Tillich quote. The writer Paul Tillich
Speaker 9: said that, and to me, I extrapolated from his work
Speaker 9: for my book because I was realizing that language and
Speaker 9: the way we use words completely defines how we think
Speaker 9: about things. So when you hear the word loneliness, you
Speaker 9: think sadness, you think potentially depression, you think negativity. Of course,
Speaker 9: solitude is spending time alone with yourself, but with strength,
Speaker 9: with courage, as Paul Tillet says, glory. So what I've
Speaker 9: realized is we've got to be so careful with the
Speaker 9: language we use in our minds. Every single word is
Speaker 9: a seed for either a weed or a flower, and
Speaker 9: so every single word that you say is defining. So
Speaker 9: if I keep saying I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely,
Speaker 9: that's going to impact how I feel. But if I
Speaker 9: say I'm in solitude, all of a sudden, there's a
Speaker 9: strength that comes with that. And so I just want
Speaker 9: to encourage people to recognize that being alone doesn't have
Speaker 9: to be a weakness. It can be a time of
Speaker 9: strength and self awareness and personal growth. But it is
Speaker 9: about the language that we use with ourselves. And so
Speaker 9: I would ask everyone to this one activity. Think about
Speaker 9: the one word that comes to your mind the moment
Speaker 9: you wake up or the moment you go to sleep.
Speaker 9: Make that word a word that you want it to be.
Speaker 9: Don't let the word you go to sleep with, and
Speaker 9: don't let the word you wake up with be a
Speaker 9: word that makes you feel negative, unhealthy, or weak, Because
Speaker 9: those studies show we have sixty to eighty thousand thoughts
Speaker 9: per day, and eighty percent of them are negative and
Speaker 9: eighty percent of them are repetitive, which means you're having
Speaker 9: the same negative word or thought repeating. It's not like
Speaker 9: we're having lots of different thoughts. It's the same thought. Now,
Speaker 9: you can't control sixty to eighty thousand thoughts, but you
Speaker 9: can control two thoughts of the day. So just master
Speaker 9: the first thought of the day and the last thought
Speaker 9: of the day and make it a thought and a
Speaker 9: word that you want it to be.
Speaker 4: I wonder what when that study was done.
Speaker 1: I wonder was it before social media after because I
Speaker 1: feel like when social media is probably tripled it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I probably read it that. That's that probably I read.
Speaker 9: In the last three to four years, So I guess
Speaker 9: while social media is around. But yeah, I mean now
Speaker 9: it could have totally tripled. But it's interesting because it's
Speaker 9: the same thought often. Yeah, right, A lot of time
Speaker 9: we keep saying the same thing. I'm so tired, I'm
Speaker 9: so tired that talk could life last a year? Or like,
Speaker 9: oh god, i'm so scared at work, I'm so anxious,
Speaker 9: that could last a year.
Speaker 4: So, oh, one more thing, yeah, Man, is there anything
Speaker 4: Jay Shady hates?
Speaker 9: Ooh, The answer is I don't because I think hate
Speaker 9: personally collectively individually doesn't lead to greatness.
Speaker 4: What about the notebook? You hate the notebook?
Speaker 9: I don't hate the notebook, but I have heard I
Speaker 9: have thoughts about the notebook, Charlie Man, I don't hate
Speaker 9: the number. I find it hilarious as to how many.
Speaker 9: And I was, like I said, I'm a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 9: I've been like that my whole life because I grew
Speaker 9: up watching Hollywood movies thinking that that's how I was
Speaker 9: meant to fall in love. I was that dumb person
Speaker 9: who felt for that. And now I've read about something
Speaker 9: that they call Disney Princess syndrome, where people walk around
Speaker 9: like feeling like they're going to be saved by their partner,
Speaker 9: Like you're going to have a night in shining armor,
Speaker 9: Who's going to come in and rescue you? And I
Speaker 9: think there's Disney Prince syndrome as well, what we want
Speaker 9: to go in and save someone and we want to
Speaker 9: be the be all and end all of everything. So
Speaker 9: the Notebook just has some really questionable lines. So yeah,
Speaker 9: I don't hate the Notebook.
Speaker 5: Well, Ja Shetty, Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 4: Where can they follow you?
Speaker 6: Jay?
Speaker 9: To come and check out on the podcast On Purpose.
Speaker 9: It's where I'm pouring my heart and soul and you know,
Speaker 9: excited to share so many more amazing, maybe thought provoking,
Speaker 9: maybe even pushing you slightly conversations to come and join
Speaker 9: us on Purpose.
Speaker 1: And his latest book was Eight Rules of Love that
Speaker 1: came out last year, how to Find It, Keep It
Speaker 1: and let it Go.
Speaker 4: You got a new book coming, are you?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 9: No, no, This was just I was just excited to
Speaker 9: be back with you and hanging and actually, do you
Speaker 9: know what, sometimes I love these conversations because I came
Speaker 9: here not knowing where it was going to go, and
Speaker 9: then you guys just guide it beautifully. So this was
Speaker 9: wonderful man. Yeah, thank you guys.
Speaker 6: Jay Shetty.
Speaker 5: It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 4: Morning.
Speaker 3: Everybody's DJ Envy just Hilary Charlamine the guy. We are
Speaker 3: the breakfast Club or leave us. On a positive.
Speaker 1: Note, the positive notice of this maturity is when you
Speaker 1: know the other person is lying, but you just smile
Speaker 1: and let it go.
Speaker 6: Breakfast club bitches, y'alla finish. So y'all done,