WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: How Do You Deal with Miscarriage Grief?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached

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<v Speaker 1>my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheeky's podcast. I'm here

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<v Speaker 1>to give you a device on anything and everything you

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<v Speaker 1>need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or

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<v Speaker 1>having issues with your family, or maybe you have a

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<v Speaker 1>question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious

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<v Speaker 1>issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at

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<v Speaker 1>the sound of the beeB.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Cheekey's.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you for taking a call from me in the past.

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<v Speaker 3>Or you answered questions about your interior dialogue being Spanish

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<v Speaker 3>or English, and your thoughts on Mariposa about you, and

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<v Speaker 3>I'm hoping you take this call today to take me

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<v Speaker 3>on a deep dive about perfume. I'm a collector and

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<v Speaker 3>a lover. I have several bottles of Reina and I've

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<v Speaker 3>been collecting your mom's perfumes as well. Now, of course

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<v Speaker 3>i've heard you talk about how you helped develop per perfume,

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<v Speaker 3>went to China. All of that tell us about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Go on a deep dive. I have been collecting the

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<v Speaker 3>four women's perfumes that I've seen. There's Forever, There's Jenny,

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<v Speaker 3>they have the same bottle design. There is Jr. And

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<v Speaker 3>Mariposa they have a different but similar bottle design. And

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<v Speaker 3>tell me about it. Were those all ones that you did?

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<v Speaker 3>Were they ones that your mom had any input on?

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<v Speaker 3>And also, as a lover of perfumes, tell me a

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<v Speaker 3>little bit more about what's coming next for you as

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<v Speaker 3>a maker. I actually have created my own the Amnthe

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<v Speaker 3>and Jenay perfumes. I would love to share them with

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<v Speaker 3>you someday. You let me know, let your people reach

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<v Speaker 3>out to my people and I'll get you some sample's girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 3>But yeah, tell us all about it. What was the

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<v Speaker 3>process like, was your mom really involved in all of these?

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<v Speaker 3>What was even the order of the release? All these

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<v Speaker 3>information details I'm dying to know. Let's get into it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, Alyssa, your voice, it's so like beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>You should have your own podcast or like do like

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<v Speaker 1>meditation guides or something. You have a beautiful voice. And

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<v Speaker 1>thank you so much. I'm so glad that I was

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<v Speaker 1>able to answer your question before and I gladly will

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<v Speaker 1>answer your question now. Thank you for the support that

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<v Speaker 1>you've given my perfume and my mom's as well. And

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<v Speaker 1>yes I have Reina, and just let me get into

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<v Speaker 1>it really quick. But I do have a working on

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<v Speaker 1>a new fragrance right now. It's going to be a

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<v Speaker 1>unisex and it's going to be called Actually I probably

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<v Speaker 1>shouldn't say the name yet, but it is a unisex

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<v Speaker 1>and it smells divine. It's so beautiful and I cannot

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<v Speaker 1>wait to smell what you came up with the month.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that. That's actually a great name. So yes,

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<v Speaker 1>we will figure it out to see how I can

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<v Speaker 1>get a sample of it. But yes, so I started

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<v Speaker 1>the perfume. My mom would just have these ideas like

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<v Speaker 1>I want a makeup and skincare line, and we found

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<v Speaker 1>the right person and I, you know, did all the

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<v Speaker 1>footwork and handled all the day to day stuff and

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<v Speaker 1>just made it happen for her. And one day she

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<v Speaker 1>said I want a gene line, and I helped her

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<v Speaker 1>with that too. I would find the manufacturers. And when

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<v Speaker 1>she told me that she wanted to perfume a fragrance

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<v Speaker 1>because she loved fragrances, she would always wear tressoor that

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<v Speaker 1>was like her go to and she wanted to come

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<v Speaker 1>out with her own because people would always tell her

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<v Speaker 1>you smell so good. And she's like, you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>there's something here. I want my own fragrance. And she

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<v Speaker 1>gave me a budget, very small budget. She says, I want,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, here, sixty thousand dollars. Figure out how you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to do it, but I want my own perfume.

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<v Speaker 1>And I looked and I looked, and it was just

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<v Speaker 1>very expensive to make it here in the States. So

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<v Speaker 1>I said, Mom, I'm gonna have to go overseas. I

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<v Speaker 1>need to go to China. And what I'll do is

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<v Speaker 1>have them make it there and then maybe we can,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, replicate it here in the States or whatnot.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's what I did. I was around twenty three

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<v Speaker 1>years old, and I found someone that could help me

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<v Speaker 1>out there. I'm found a manufacturer, and I flew out

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<v Speaker 1>there by myself and it was a very nice experience.

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<v Speaker 1>But the day that I left to China, my mom

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<v Speaker 1>and I were fighting. We got an argument because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what, so we weren't talking and I was

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<v Speaker 1>just like, but it gave me that fire within to say,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, I need to show my mom that

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<v Speaker 1>I can do this, and it just I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I freaking killed it in three weeks. I had a

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<v Speaker 1>whole thing. I knew what my mom liked already. I

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<v Speaker 1>knew her very well, so like the scent and everything.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, because there was no time, obviously, I was

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<v Speaker 1>all the way in China, in Guanzhou to send her

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<v Speaker 1>samples or anything. So I just did it myself. And

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I know she's gonna be happy. I

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<v Speaker 1>know my mother, and thank goodness I did because she

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<v Speaker 1>loved everything. And that was how the Perfume JR. Was born,

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<v Speaker 1>because we didn't really name it anything. It was just JR,

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<v Speaker 1>her logo, her initials, and that's I think, to this day,

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<v Speaker 1>our top seller. And with the other fragrances that you

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<v Speaker 1>have that are also amazing, I did not. I just

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<v Speaker 1>helped with, you know, choosing the set and saying I

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<v Speaker 1>like it, or maybe we should add a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>of this or whatnot. But everything else the old administration

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<v Speaker 1>handled and my siblings. But yeah, I mean, I love fragrances.

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<v Speaker 1>I always have. I want to smell good, So I'm

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<v Speaker 1>so glad that you're enjoying them, and yeah, I mean

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<v Speaker 1>I totally get into it a lot more because there's

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<v Speaker 1>so much of that story, but obviously we're on Dear

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<v Speaker 1>Cheeky so we can't. But maybe one day I can

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<v Speaker 1>do a Cheeki's and Chill episode to talk about that experience,

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<v Speaker 1>because it was definitely a good one. Thank you so much,

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<v Speaker 1>Melyssa for your question, and I look forward to hearing

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<v Speaker 1>from you again. Okay, guys, next question comes from Joscelyn

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<v Speaker 1>Hi Tiggie's.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm a very big supporter of yours and recently met

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<v Speaker 4>you for the first time doing really the amount of store.

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<v Speaker 4>I've always felt that you were such an inspiring and

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<v Speaker 4>comforting person who I admire very much, which is why

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<v Speaker 4>I wanted your advice on this topic. I'm currently a

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<v Speaker 4>senior in high school preparing to go off to college

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<v Speaker 4>later on this year. My question for you is, do

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<v Speaker 4>you have any advice you could give me, as I've

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<v Speaker 4>never really been away from home or my parents, any

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<v Speaker 4>advice that you'd give on how to navigate through a

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<v Speaker 4>completely new chapter while we're taking on that role of

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<v Speaker 4>complete independence. Thank you for being who you are and

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<v Speaker 4>I love and miss you very much and hope to

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<v Speaker 4>see you again soon.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, Jocelyn, thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 5>You're so sweet.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, so, I know it is a little scary. It's

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<v Speaker 1>a scary thought because you're stepping into the unknown, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>moving out. It's something new, and you feel that you

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<v Speaker 1>know your parents protect you and you feel safe, and

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<v Speaker 1>I get that.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>It took me a while to move out. My circumstances

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<v Speaker 1>were a little different, but when I did, that's when

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<v Speaker 1>I really like stepped into my own and it just

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<v Speaker 1>helps you appreciate the value, the real value of money

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<v Speaker 1>and budgeting and stuff like that. So I think my

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<v Speaker 1>advice to you would be, make sure you have a

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<v Speaker 1>job first of all before you move out, because you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to need means to pay for your rent and

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<v Speaker 1>feed yourself and stuff and budgeting yourself and knowing you

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<v Speaker 1>know exactly how much your rent will be, or are

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<v Speaker 1>you going to roommate and we're going to go grocery shopping,

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<v Speaker 1>because all of that stuff matters. So definitely a job

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<v Speaker 1>is number one. And just knowing that you will have

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<v Speaker 1>some bumps in the road that is normal, and don't

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<v Speaker 1>get discouraged. It's part of adulting, and adulting is uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 1>But with that comes you becoming your best self, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and stepping into your own strength and your own courage

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<v Speaker 1>and your wisdom. And that's going to take time, so

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<v Speaker 1>be patient and compassionate. But that is I think the

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<v Speaker 1>number one thing. Definitely getting a job and hopefully finding

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<v Speaker 1>a roommate because carrying that whole weight on your own

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<v Speaker 1>could be a lot, especially if you're moving out for

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<v Speaker 1>the first time on your own. So those are the

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<v Speaker 1>things that I would definitely do. But I think it's

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<v Speaker 1>great that you are willing to do this and start

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<v Speaker 1>your life. I feel like the sooner, the better kind

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<v Speaker 1>of ish and the Latin family, It's like the longer

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<v Speaker 1>you stay at home, the better. Don't leave until you

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<v Speaker 1>get married. But if you are feeling this in your heart,

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<v Speaker 1>then I think that you should try. It's my advice.

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<v Speaker 1>So thank you so much, Justlyn. Okay, guys, next question

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<v Speaker 1>comes from Valerie hi Chieky's.

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<v Speaker 5>I just wanted to stop by and tell you that

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<v Speaker 5>I love your podcast and I love every topic you

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<v Speaker 5>speak about on the podcast. So I have a very

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<v Speaker 5>sensitive topic to speak about, which would be a miscarriage.

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<v Speaker 5>I myself had a miscarriage October twenty twenty four. I

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<v Speaker 5>also struggle with infertility for two years, and I'm finding

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<v Speaker 5>myself struggling and dealing with the miscarriage grief. How did

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<v Speaker 5>you deal with miscarriage grief? And I know this pain

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<v Speaker 5>never ends, but how are you dealing with the miscarriage grief?

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<v Speaker 5>I would love for you to respond back and give

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<v Speaker 5>me some tips of how you're dealing with your miscarriage grief.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you, oh Valerie, thank you so much. Thank you

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<v Speaker 1>first and foremost for supporting being a listener and loving

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<v Speaker 1>my podcast. It means a lot to me. Love the feedback.

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<v Speaker 1>And yes, so miscarriage, Yeah, that was That was a

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<v Speaker 1>tough one.

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<v Speaker 2>It was.

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<v Speaker 1>It was hard. I think what helped me was definitely

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<v Speaker 1>like my faith in God and just knowing and I

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<v Speaker 1>know it sounds cliche and stuff, but like knowing that

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<v Speaker 1>everything does happen for a reason. Also, when I spoke

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<v Speaker 1>to my doctor and my doctor said that most likely

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<v Speaker 1>it wasn't a healthy egg, that also made me feel

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit better. You know, I'm like, Okay, well

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<v Speaker 1>maybe that's just God, you know, helping me make the

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<v Speaker 1>decision for me so I don't have to make the

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<v Speaker 1>decision later. Kind of that also helped me, gave me

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<v Speaker 1>more peace and just you know, leaning on God is

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<v Speaker 1>what really helped me, you know, and and my partner

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<v Speaker 1>and having his support too and medios. But I prayed

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<v Speaker 1>myself through it and I was like, you know, God,

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<v Speaker 1>if this is your will, then helped me accept it,

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<v Speaker 1>heal my heart. And when I think about it is

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<v Speaker 1>something that kind of just tugs at my at the

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<v Speaker 1>strings of my heart a little bit. But I know

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<v Speaker 1>that I have a little angel in you know, in

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<v Speaker 1>heaven and is you know, there to give me love from.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just I know it's just so hard. I get it,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's just going to take time. It happened in October,

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<v Speaker 1>mine happened in June, so so just know it's going

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<v Speaker 1>to take a little bit of time and time heals.

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<v Speaker 1>And just know that God knows what he's doing. God

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<v Speaker 1>knows when, why, and how, so you'll have your rainbow baby.

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<v Speaker 1>Have faith that you'll have a rainbow baby. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know what a rainbow baby was until I had my miscarriage.

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<v Speaker 1>So I will be praying for both of our uteruses

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<v Speaker 1>and praying for God's will to be done. But I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sending you a big hug valery because I know there's

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<v Speaker 1>I'm even like it's tough. I feel like with situations

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<v Speaker 1>like this, there's really nothing that anyone can tell you

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<v Speaker 1>to make you feel better. But all I could say

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<v Speaker 1>is that the faith I had in God and I

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<v Speaker 1>haven't God, should I say it really helped me through.

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<v Speaker 1>So sending you a big hug. K Okay, guys, So

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<v Speaker 1>next question comes. The last question actually comes from Emily.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, Cheeky, how are you. I hope you're doing well.

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<v Speaker 2>And my question to you is what is the most

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<v Speaker 2>valuable thing to you? And I'm just curious to know.

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<v Speaker 2>I love you and I watch all your podcasts all

0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:23.880
<v Speaker 2>the time, like I always look forward to them, and yeah,

0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:27.120
<v Speaker 2>and I always tell my friends family about it. And

0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.679
<v Speaker 2>I really love the advice you give on the podcast.

0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:34.120
<v Speaker 2>I appreciate your honest opinions. And yeah, I love your

0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:36.920
<v Speaker 2>Cheeky's hope you have a wonderful day. Bye.

0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:40.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh I love this. I love when people tell me

0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.760
<v Speaker 1>they love my podcast. Thank you guys so much for listening,

0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:45.720
<v Speaker 1>for taking the time and coming back and you know,

0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:50.400
<v Speaker 1>feeding your soul with positive things. So thank you so much.

0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:52.600
<v Speaker 1>And Emily in regards to your question. That's a good question.

0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:54.160
<v Speaker 1>It's so crazy because I'm like, I feel like I

0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:56.160
<v Speaker 1>can give advice all day long, but then you ask

0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:59.640
<v Speaker 1>me a question and I'm like, oh, wait, what is

0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:02.240
<v Speaker 1>the most valuable thing to me or what's valuable to

0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:06.080
<v Speaker 1>me more than like a materialistic thing. Emily, I'd have

0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:11.760
<v Speaker 1>to say, I think honesty is very valuable to me

0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:17.600
<v Speaker 1>because with honesty comes integrity, and comes trust and so

0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.160
<v Speaker 1>many other things. I think when you are able to

0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:24.439
<v Speaker 1>be honest with yourself and with the world, I think

0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:30.120
<v Speaker 1>that definitely gives you a lot of power within yourself.

0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:33.000
<v Speaker 1>So I feel like that's very, very valuable to me,

0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:36.640
<v Speaker 1>is honesty, Honesty with myself, honesty with others, people being

0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.800
<v Speaker 1>honest with me. So that's the first thing that popped

0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:41.720
<v Speaker 1>into my head when you were asking the question. So,

0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:43.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm sure there's other things that are very

0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:46.040
<v Speaker 1>valuable to me, but that's the first thing that came up.

0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:50.800
<v Speaker 1>And actually, Emily talking about a materialistic thing, because maybe

0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:52.520
<v Speaker 1>if you asked me this question when I was younger,

0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.520
<v Speaker 1>I'd think like, oh my gosh, like a purse or

0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:58.640
<v Speaker 1>some shoes or something. I don't know, But now I

0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:02.760
<v Speaker 1>think if I had to choose something that was materialistic,

0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:08.280
<v Speaker 1>I guess something you know, physical. I would probably for

0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.199
<v Speaker 1>sure take my ring, my wedding ring. It's very important

0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 1>to me. That's definitely valuable for so many reasons, not

0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:17.079
<v Speaker 1>just because you know, I media gave it to me

0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:18.720
<v Speaker 1>and it's a beautiful ring. I love it, but also

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:20.920
<v Speaker 1>because what it stands for, what it means, what it represents.

0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:26.600
<v Speaker 1>My dogs are very valuable, you know. Other than that,

0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 1>I think that's it. Like even my mom's stuff, for instance,

0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.360
<v Speaker 1>that for so long I held onto because they gave

0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:37.320
<v Speaker 1>me comfort. I had a dress, I had some of

0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:42.880
<v Speaker 1>her hair before, and those things I think were keeping

0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:48.640
<v Speaker 1>me from completely healing. So I let them go and

0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:51.079
<v Speaker 1>you guys will probably see those things in my mom's

0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:55.560
<v Speaker 1>museum coming very soon, hopefully. But I even had to

0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:57.360
<v Speaker 1>feel like I had to. Like my mom, I felt

0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:59.559
<v Speaker 1>like was telling me for so long, like you can't

0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:01.360
<v Speaker 1>hold on to that, You got to kind of let

0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:04.440
<v Speaker 1>it go, you know, And when I did, I felt

0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.800
<v Speaker 1>a little bit better. So I feel like my mom

0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:09.080
<v Speaker 1>is in my heart and in my mind, and that's

0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.800
<v Speaker 1>where I keeper, you know, because I was holding onto

0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:14.680
<v Speaker 1>those things with dear life and I think it was

0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:16.679
<v Speaker 1>affecting me more than helping me. So I feel like

0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:20.000
<v Speaker 1>like material things I try not to like don't hold

0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:24.720
<v Speaker 1>that much value for me as much as other things. Anyways,

0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:27.720
<v Speaker 1>I really appreciate your question. I like that so you guys,

0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:30.480
<v Speaker 1>You guys can ask me anything, so you know, it

0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:34.840
<v Speaker 1>could be deeper questions about relationships, about love, about even businesses.

0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:36.680
<v Speaker 1>If you are wanting to start your own business, I

0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:40.160
<v Speaker 1>can definitely give you advice. I mean, you know, all

0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.200
<v Speaker 1>the advice that I give you, guys comes from my

0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.960
<v Speaker 1>own personal experiences, and you know I'm not always right

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.080
<v Speaker 1>and I'm not a professional. Let me remind you, guys,

0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:52.080
<v Speaker 1>but I definitely will give you the best advice that

0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.520
<v Speaker 1>I possibly can. I have your best interests at heart,

0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:56.760
<v Speaker 1>for sure. So if you have a question, you can

0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.560
<v Speaker 1>leave it at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill

0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:02.600
<v Speaker 1>Podcast And thank you guys. Thank you Alyssa, Jocelyn, Valerie

0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:05.680
<v Speaker 1>and Emily for your questions. Mosquio mucho. See you here

0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:12.960
<v Speaker 1>from the next one. This is a production of iHeartRadio

0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:16.800
<v Speaker 1>and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram

0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:19.800
<v Speaker 1>at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c

0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:23.520
<v Speaker 1>h i q u i s. For more podcasts from iHeart,

0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:27.280
<v Speaker 1>visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:28.600
<v Speaker 1>to your favorite podcast