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Speaker 1: You have to protect your strengths. You're calling your passions,

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Speaker 1: your interests, your skills. You have to protect them like

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Speaker 1: a precious jewel, because the whole world will come at

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Speaker 1: you and tell you that it's worth nothing, and if

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Speaker 1: you don't protect it, it can't protect your value back.

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Speaker 1: The cat eyed mystic is in the house a favorite

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Speaker 1: phrase of mine, coined by her friend Russell. Yes. Absolutely, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Russell has a lot of names to me over the years.

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Speaker 1: He seems to come up with them relatively spontaneously. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he does, he does. He I mean, that's who he is, right,

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Speaker 1: He's one of the worst, one of the most spontaneous

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Speaker 1: people have over them there. I know, he's great. Welcome,

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Speaker 1: great to have you here. Thanks for driving all the

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Speaker 1: way out here. It's spent a long time in the works.

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Speaker 1: It's my pleasure. I'm so grateful to be out here. Rich.

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Speaker 1: I know we've become recent friends and I'm excited. I'm

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Speaker 1: excited to bond more and get to do this. Likewise

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Speaker 1: two times in like two weeks, because I was did

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Speaker 1: your show the other day, so this is great. We're

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Speaker 1: on the precipice of your book coming out, which will

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Speaker 1: be out when this comes out, which it's got to

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Speaker 1: be an exciting time for you. It is, man, it's

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Speaker 1: I feel like every year I try and do a

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Speaker 1: new first, and this time it's the book. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like I get all the nerves, I get anxious,

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Speaker 1: and in a good way. I love it. It's cool.

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Speaker 1: In preparation for today, I was poking around the internet

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Speaker 1: and you know, I've been following you for some time,

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Speaker 1: but just trying to get up to speed. And I

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Speaker 1: gotta tell you, I'm falling in love with your wife.

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Speaker 1: She's adorable, so you know, I get literally, so this

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Speaker 1: is the story of my life. Basically, people like me

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Speaker 1: to some degree. I hope they spend time with me,

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Speaker 1: and then I introduced them to my wife and then

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Speaker 1: they go oh, and then it's over. Yeah. Literally, no

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Speaker 1: one ever wants to see me ever again. It happens

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Speaker 1: all the time. Saw my wife, Yeah, and she's amazing.

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Speaker 1: Like we talked about it with you with your wife too,

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Speaker 1: and it's my wife is amazing. She's incredible. I'm not

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Speaker 1: surprised that people love them more than me. We both upgraded,

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Speaker 1: which I feel good about. You know, I'm happy to

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Speaker 1: be with someone who's better than me. It's it's a blessing.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I've had that experience many times over. We

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Speaker 1: do this I was telling you earlier. We do this

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Speaker 1: retreat every year in Italy. Uh And and people show

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Speaker 1: up from all over the place, you know, forty people

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Speaker 1: for this week long experience, and most of them arrive

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Speaker 1: under this idea that they're gonna like a trail running

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Speaker 1: with me, and they're gonna learn about plant based cooking

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Speaker 1: and maybe do a lot of little meditations. She's gonna

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Speaker 1: be fun. Like, expectations are low, and then it becomes

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Speaker 1: like a whole Julie experience. They're like, I didn't know

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Speaker 1: that we were going to get this, and then they

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Speaker 1: all fall in love with her and I become very

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Speaker 1: secondary to the entire experience. Okay, so we've got a

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Speaker 1: lot in common. Yeah, we've got a lot of comment.

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Speaker 1: What's the plant based thing? I urvadea all this stuff?

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Speaker 1: Yeahs cool. Yeah, No, my wife is she's a real

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Speaker 1: she's a real, genuinely powerful soul. And yeah, she does

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Speaker 1: everything from a huh. And she's always been that way.

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Speaker 1: And you guys have been together for a long time.

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Speaker 1: We've been together for seven years and been married for

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Speaker 1: four and we just feel like we've got stronger and stronger.

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Speaker 1: It's been really interesting for us because our life literally

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Speaker 1: turned on it turned it on its head when when

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Speaker 1: my career really started to take off. And so in

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Speaker 1: twenty sixteen, we I move job three times, we moved country,

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Speaker 1: we bought our house, put it on rent, found an

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Speaker 1: apartment to rent, and got married all in the same year.

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Speaker 1: And it was a It was a lot, but it

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Speaker 1: was also a lot of bonding together and forming and

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Speaker 1: I think we had a moment where I think it

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Speaker 1: could have gone either way, like it literally could have

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Speaker 1: broke us or it could have made us. And thankfully,

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Speaker 1: because of how she is and how I am and

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Speaker 1: what we both wanted from our relationship, we've we've really

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Speaker 1: been able to build something special. But you know, it's

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Speaker 1: it's taken a lot of work, and that was definitely

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Speaker 1: a tough time. Yeah, I have no doubt. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think that level of change could easily and most

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Speaker 1: likely splits apart most couples, especially when one person in

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Speaker 1: the relationship suddenly goes on a crazy trajectory that isn't like,

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Speaker 1: that doesn't where the other person isn't kind of in

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Speaker 1: a in a parody type situation, you know, and without

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Speaker 1: you know, a lot of relationship skills and communication that

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Speaker 1: ends up, you know, planning the seeds of you know,

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Speaker 1: the demise of many a relationship. Yeah, exactly. And you know,

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Speaker 1: we had our tough times. Like I remember knowing that

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Speaker 1: every time I went out to work that my wife

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Speaker 1: was at home, my new wife, like as in my

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Speaker 1: you know, very new in terms of time, she's at

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Speaker 1: home crying because she's just been moved away from her

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Speaker 1: family and her home, and you're off like in your

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Speaker 1: bliss totally. I'm trying to follow my bliss, as Joseph

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Speaker 1: Campbell would say, and just like trying to build my purpose.

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Speaker 1: But in the back of my mind, I'm feeling the

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Speaker 1: pain of the fact that I'm like, my wife doesn't

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Speaker 1: have any friends here, we don't have any family in

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Speaker 1: New York, we don't have a community here, Like we're

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Speaker 1: feeling that gap and then me trying to play both

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Speaker 1: roles and wanting to I used to set up on

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Speaker 1: these dates. So I would literally set up on dates

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Speaker 1: with women that I've met that I thought would get

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Speaker 1: along with her, and she Why you keep trying to

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Speaker 1: set me up on dates with women. But it was

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Speaker 1: just I was trying so hard and I really made

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Speaker 1: it my priority that she became my priority. I was like,

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Speaker 1: if she's not happy here, if she doesn't feel like

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Speaker 1: this is her home, if she doesn't feel satisfied here,

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Speaker 1: then it doesn't matter what happens with my purpose. So

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Speaker 1: I would say she actually became my top priority when

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Speaker 1: we lived in New York, and when we moved to La,

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Speaker 1: it's actually been the opposite. Where she loves La and

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Speaker 1: has made the best friends of her life and has

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Speaker 1: an incredible community around her, and I haven't had to

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Speaker 1: have that, whereas in New York, I really felt that

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Speaker 1: sense of pressure to help her feel at home. It's

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Speaker 1: interesting because usually it's the other way around. New York

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Speaker 1: is a place that that feels it easier to get

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Speaker 1: socially acclimated than La. I think La can be an

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Speaker 1: incredibly lonely place. Interesting when you arrive and you're new

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Speaker 1: and you don't have a community because everybody is so

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Speaker 1: dispersed and in their cars, it's just not as spontaneous

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Speaker 1: as New York or or it's difficult to connect. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think the onus is on the individual to really

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Speaker 1: make something happen. Yeah, I think we were lucky we

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Speaker 1: had we had a couple of friends here who really

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Speaker 1: opened us up to their world and their friends, and

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Speaker 1: that led to us making friends. But also just I

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Speaker 1: found in New York. And I guess it also depends

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Speaker 1: where you are in your career and all of that

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff too, But I felt like in New

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Speaker 1: York people like came late to meetings and left early

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Speaker 1: and always had thirty minutes to see me. And also

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Speaker 1: one this was the biggest one, and this is huge.

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Speaker 1: It's it's a weird one, but when you think about it,

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Speaker 1: really it really resonates. People in LA have homes or

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Speaker 1: they have larger apartments, and so people invite you to

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Speaker 1: their home, like today, we're in your home, and you

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Speaker 1: have a beautiful home. And when people come to your home,

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Speaker 1: you end up spending more time with them. So I

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Speaker 1: remember the first weekend we came here, my friend threw

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Speaker 1: a party and we went out and we spent eight

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Speaker 1: hours with someone, right, And I was like, well, we

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Speaker 1: just spent eight hours, So I never spent eight hours. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you're in New York, you'd meet at a borrow,

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Speaker 1: a restaurant totally. And I think that's it Pop and Run,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's a big thing about it. I

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Speaker 1: think when you meet people in their homes, when you

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Speaker 1: meet people in their genuine, natural habitats and environments, I

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Speaker 1: feel like you get an opportunity to really see them

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Speaker 1: and they feel exposed in a genuine, natural, vulnerable way

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Speaker 1: to you as well. Yeah, that's part of the reason

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Speaker 1: why I like doing the podcast at my house. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I like having people over. And I have this theory

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Speaker 1: that each person that arrives and spends time here deposits

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Speaker 1: this place with their wisdom and their operation, and it

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Speaker 1: just elevates, you know, the whole experience of living here.

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Speaker 1: That's beautiful. It's like it's like a deposit. You must

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Speaker 1: be very careful about who you allow it. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that I snuck in this is I try to,

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Speaker 1: you know, I try to be mindful of that. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I've been holding onto your crystals ever since to make

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Speaker 1: sure I don't. Yeah. So when I when I take

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Speaker 1: a ten thousand foot view of who you are and

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Speaker 1: what you do, it seems to me that your your gift,

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Speaker 1: or your your real facility is this ability, this facility

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Speaker 1: for taking Asile's wisdom, these spiritual precepts, these philosophical tenets

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Speaker 1: and ideas, and translating them in an entertaining way and

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Speaker 1: a digestible way for a very broad mainstream and and

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Speaker 1: perhaps young you know audience. Is that fair sounds good

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Speaker 1: to me? Yeah? No, it's you know, it's there. There's

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Speaker 1: a statement by Albert Einstein which kind of underpinds all

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Speaker 1: my work, and it's if you can't explain something simply,

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Speaker 1: you don't understand it well enough. And when I was

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Speaker 1: exposed to the Invaders and all these spiritual texts that

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Speaker 1: some of them date five thousand years back, I was

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Speaker 1: reading them and I was like, there is magic in

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Speaker 1: these texts, Like there is so much energy in these texts.

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Speaker 1: There's so much weight and gravitas, and there's so much power.

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Speaker 1: But guess what, most people will never be able to

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Speaker 1: experience it because it's in another language. And when I

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Speaker 1: say another language, I don't just mean Sanskrit or Hindi

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Speaker 1: or you know, and you know Chinese, I mean another

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Speaker 1: language of it's speaking to a different age. And there's

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Speaker 1: beauty in that, and I love that and I appreciate that.

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Speaker 1: But I could see that I wanted to try and

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Speaker 1: see if I could explain these things to people that

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Speaker 1: I grew up with. And I was always connecting with

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Speaker 1: the person who grew up in London. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: born and raised in London. I grew up liking anything

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Speaker 1: an average londoners into. But I got so fascinated because

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Speaker 1: of the way the philosophy was presented to me, and

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Speaker 1: I felt a responsibility to want to do that for others. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that's a that's a pretty good breakdown in

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Speaker 1: ten thousand foot view, And I appreciate you saying that

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Speaker 1: because that's what fascinates me. That's where I get my

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Speaker 1: buzz from is how do I read, study and learn

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Speaker 1: so that I can share, support and serve. And that's

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Speaker 1: that's where I get my meaning from. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: crystallizing these texts down to these kernels of wisdom or

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Speaker 1: teachable moments. There's no small thing. I mean, if you

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Speaker 1: you know, if you read the Bug of our Guida,

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Speaker 1: I mean, it takes a prodigious mind to just keep

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Speaker 1: track of all the characters. Like these stories are insane,

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Speaker 1: you know, So it's like, all right, you know, our

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Speaker 1: Juna is doing this, and you know, so and so

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Speaker 1: is over there do it's spirit, you know, killing these people,

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Speaker 1: and what's the lesson that I'm supposed to get up?

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Speaker 1: So I leve to send you when I when I

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Speaker 1: studied it, I made a family tree, so I literally

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Speaker 1: had to physically. For anyone who doesn't know what we're

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Speaker 1: talk about, we're doing about the bug Geta, which is

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Speaker 1: part of the Mahabara, and there are million characters, and

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Speaker 1: I remember having to not million literally, but I remember

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Speaker 1: having to literally piece together the family tree because I

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Speaker 1: was the same I couldn't and and the messages are

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Speaker 1: so profound and so powerful, and you know, yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: it's it's it's a blessing to be even be able

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Speaker 1: to be exposed to them, let alone trying to share them. Well,

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Speaker 1: let's take it back. Tell me about you know, what

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Speaker 1: it was like being a kid growing up in London,

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Speaker 1: North London. Yeah, North London. So I grew up in

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Speaker 1: the most common place that people would know is a

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Speaker 1: place called Tottenham more specifically you know, yeah, North London

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Speaker 1: for anyone who doesn't know. And I grew up as

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Speaker 1: a you know, I was a very obedient kid growing up,

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Speaker 1: especially in my up to four teen years old, I

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Speaker 1: was very I would say I worked very hard at school.

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Speaker 1: I was a good son, I followed the rules. I

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Speaker 1: was very overweight at that time as well, so I

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Speaker 1: got bullied a lot. So I was bullied for my weight.

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Speaker 1: I was probably one of the few Indian kids at school,

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Speaker 1: so I was bullied for being Indian and parents first generation. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I just was very fortunate because I guess it

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Speaker 1: was a mixture of love at home but also resilience.

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Speaker 1: I never really felt that affected by any of it.

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Speaker 1: I just I kind of accepted it as normal. I

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Speaker 1: didn't see myself as different. I was just like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is just what kids must go through. And I

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Speaker 1: kind of got it. And then at fourteen it kind

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Speaker 1: of switched where I was like, well, being good doesn't work, like,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't add up to anything. I'm not happy, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't make me more successful. I still experienced racism and bullying,

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Speaker 1: so I might as well be a jerk. Like and

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Speaker 1: I don't mean the jerk is a bad person to people.

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Speaker 1: I meant like, I might as well not follow the rules.

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Speaker 1: I might as well experiment with everything else, whether it

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Speaker 1: was getting drunk or whether it was you know, experiment

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Speaker 1: with smoking or weed or whatever it was at the time,

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Speaker 1: and just feeling like I wanted a thrill in an

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Speaker 1: experience in life, and that being good didn't stack up

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Speaker 1: to what I was told. I was told if you

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Speaker 1: were good, that you'd be successful and things would work,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't feel that. So I kind of you

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Speaker 1: have a conscious memory of making that decision. What's that

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Speaker 1: meaning at some point when you were fourteen, thinking like

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Speaker 1: I'm going to change tack here. I don't know. That's

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Speaker 1: a good question. I don't know if it was conscious

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Speaker 1: in the sense I was like, oh, this is not working,

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Speaker 1: let me try this. It wasn't like that. In hindsight,

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Speaker 1: I can see my reasoning behind wire because people of

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Speaker 1: like I've I've always considered myself to be a well intentioned,

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Speaker 1: good person, Like that's that's who I am at the

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Speaker 1: heart and the core of it. I could never hurt anyone.

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Speaker 1: It's not who I am, and so it's it was

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Speaker 1: weird when I when I got involved in the wrong

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Speaker 1: circles and I started doing things I can never imagine,

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Speaker 1: and I became the opposite. And when I reflect on that,

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Speaker 1: that's what I feel is the reason. So no, I

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Speaker 1: don't think it was a conscious decision at the time,

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Speaker 1: but when I reflect on it in hindsight, it's very

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Speaker 1: clear to me that that was the reason that brought

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Speaker 1: it out. Right. So you're getting into a little bit

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Speaker 1: of trouble, but not too much trouble. You're still you know,

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Speaker 1: are you the eldest son. I'm the eldest son. There's

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Speaker 1: a certain mantle that you have to carry, yeah, exacertain

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Speaker 1: level of expectation and you know, academic prowess that you

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Speaker 1: have to demonstrate to your parents to remain in good steady. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't good at that because my parents, you know,

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Speaker 1: Indian parents are generally like, if you do well in school,

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Speaker 1: that's all that matters, and so I kind of took

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Speaker 1: that too literally. I was like, Okay, as long as

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Speaker 1: I'm doing well in school, I can do anything I want.

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Speaker 1: So I was performing well in school, but I started

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Speaker 1: to really when I was fourteen, really dive into what

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Speaker 1: I was fascinated by. And I found that there were

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Speaker 1: three subjects that really took my attention. So it was economics,

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Speaker 1: art and design, and philosophy, and those became my three

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Speaker 1: favorite subjects. At school and it was very different to

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Speaker 1: what my parents wanted or what I thought at primary school,

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Speaker 1: where the maths and sciences were more stressed. But I

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Speaker 1: started to see that I was connecting. I would talk

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Speaker 1: to my art teacher for hours about different art that

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Speaker 1: we would, you know, dissect together and think about why

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Speaker 1: the artist had juxtaposed those two items like that, and

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Speaker 1: the meaning behind certain brushes and strokes. And I loved

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Speaker 1: like breaking something down philosophically. And I really own my

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Speaker 1: art teacher a lot for that because he made me

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Speaker 1: gain that taste for questioning why things were the way

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Speaker 1: they were rather than just accepting them at face value. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but that seed kind of was under germinated. It seems

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Speaker 1: like finance originally kind of want out in that race war.

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Speaker 1: I would say that I thought that I would go

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Speaker 1: off and do graphic design or marketing at university, or

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Speaker 1: I really was about to apply, remember for Central Saint Martins,

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Speaker 1: which is an incredible art school in London. And I remember.

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Speaker 1: It's funny you say that because I remember applying, and

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Speaker 1: then my art teacher, I think messaging me or saying

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Speaker 1: to me at the time however we did at that time,

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Speaker 1: I can't even remember, but I guess emailing me and saying, oh,

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Speaker 1: you sold out and just like calling me out on it.

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Speaker 1: And it was just it was just my young Indian

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Speaker 1: mind in London of just feeling that there were a

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Speaker 1: finite number of options and that I didn't really even

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know that there were other careers, like genuinely,

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Speaker 1: like if you asked me then, like what careers existed

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Speaker 1: in the world. I literally could only think of medicine,

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Speaker 1: law and finance, like I didn't even know that anyone

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Speaker 1: did anything beyond that, or that anything beyond that was

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Speaker 1: even available. And so for me, I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: well can't do the first two, so I'm going to

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Speaker 1: end up doing this one. And so it wasn't that

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Speaker 1: it won from the heart, It's that it won from

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Speaker 1: a safety, security, stability, reliability platform. And the reason why

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Speaker 1: this is so important to talk about is I think

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Speaker 1: today people look at me, or may perceive my work

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Speaker 1: if they're aware, to be quite risk taking. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I think I'm very different now, But there was a

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Speaker 1: time in my life where I made decisions based on

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Speaker 1: feeling I wanted a secure future and a stable future,

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Speaker 1: right medicine, law, law or a failure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I had three options growing up. What about engineering,

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Speaker 1: That seems that that would have passed the test, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I wasn't know, But I wasn't. I think that's

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Speaker 1: very India centric. But like British Indians, I feel, are

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Speaker 1: not as good as engineering, so you don't find it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe maybe it's just me, but but yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: it was just I was always I never, I never.

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Speaker 1: I realized very very early on that I didn't engage

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Speaker 1: with the same things as the people around me, and

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Speaker 1: I couldn't even force myself. My intuition was so strong,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know it's called intuition at that time,

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Speaker 1: but I knew that it was so strong. It was

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Speaker 1: dragging me towards art in design and philosophy and all

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Speaker 1: of this kind of stuff. But you're a social animal.

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Speaker 1: I suspect that you had lots of friends and ran

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Speaker 1: in popular circles. I did in my teens, but not

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Speaker 1: up to my teens and even in my Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: did in my teens, but I felt that I felt

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Speaker 1: at that time that you know, you're just finding yourself,

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Speaker 1: Like when you're in your teens, you don't know who

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Speaker 1: you are, you don't know where you stand for, you

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Speaker 1: don't know where your values are, and everyone at that time,

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Speaker 1: I mean I went to a school where majority of

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Speaker 1: people were probably smarter and smarter than me that you know,

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Speaker 1: super smart kids in my school and really accomplished and

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Speaker 1: getting the best grade and you know, best resumes and

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Speaker 1: all of that kind of stuff, so you never really

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Speaker 1: it was good. It was very humbling being at my school.

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Speaker 1: You got a very every year, they would literally we'd

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Speaker 1: get a report which would rank you in every subject

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Speaker 1: one to one hundred and eighty. So we had one

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Speaker 1: hundred and eighty students in my year and for every subject,

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Speaker 1: and it would you'd get it sent to your parents

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Speaker 1: to you and you get a number one to one eighty,

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Speaker 1: so you can know when you're at one forty four,

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Speaker 1: and there were some subjects where I was at one.

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Speaker 1: That's true ceremony. It was so bad, but it was,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was humbly. But the good thing about

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Speaker 1: it was very early on my school was able to

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Speaker 1: show us what our strengths were and what wasn't. And

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Speaker 1: now when I look back and behind something like wow,

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Speaker 1: My school really pointed out to me what I was

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Speaker 1: going to be successful in, what I wasn't to the

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Speaker 1: point that my school didn't allow us to take certain subjects.

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Speaker 1: Later one, between ages sixteen age, you're done with that, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's not going to work for Yeah. Literally, that's that

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Speaker 1: you would go into this room with your parents and

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Speaker 1: the teacher would sit you down and they'd be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we don't think Jay can take chemistry. It was literally

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Speaker 1: salis that I'd be so scared of those meetings because

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Speaker 1: you'd be scared of how your parents are going to react.

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Speaker 1: So you go to university and you study business. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I studied management science and I focused on behavioral science.

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Speaker 1: So all of my thesis and my dissertations and all

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Speaker 1: of that, I was focused on analyzing behavior. And that's

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Speaker 1: kind of what I got fascinated. So walk me up

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Speaker 1: to this pivotal monk moment. Yeah, I think you know,

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Speaker 1: I've talked about it before, and this is a great

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Speaker 1: conversation already because I'm telling you stuff I've never said before,

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Speaker 1: which I always loved. So you know, I mean, this

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Speaker 1: is this is really fun for me right now, and

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Speaker 1: I want to approach this as well, I'm always whenever

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Speaker 1: I tell this, I'm always trying to relive its It's

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Speaker 1: this thing, you know, I'll enter apologies for interrupted that.

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Speaker 1: When you're in the process of telling and retelling your

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Speaker 1: story time and time again. What I always I'm always

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Speaker 1: sitting here thinking when I'm doing it, myself thinking because

400
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Speaker 1: I'm just repeating because I have, like, you know, I

401
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 1: know the thing, and I know what to say, and

402
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Speaker 1: I think, is that really what happened? Yeah? Can me

403
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Speaker 1: really be honest with myself? Did this happen differently? Or

404
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,439
Speaker 1: is my is my memory playing tricks on me and

405
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 1: telling me that something happened? Because I've just repeated it

406
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Speaker 1: so many times, I'm always kind of like using that

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Speaker 1: as a reference point. Absolutely, Yeah, me too, And I'm

408
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,480
Speaker 1: always trying to what I find is I know? And

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Speaker 1: I've asked myself that question as well, And i know

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Speaker 1: that I'm telling what happened, but I'm always trying to

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Speaker 1: discover a new truth about it. So whenever I'm telling you,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, what can I discover this time about me?

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Speaker 1: Ask let's do it this way though, I mean, basically,

414
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Speaker 1: as the story goes, you developed a proclivity for seeking

415
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Speaker 1: out interesting people to go here, talk businesspeople, sports figures, etc.

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Speaker 1: And suddenly there was this monk who was going to

417
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Speaker 1: be speaking. You were initially not interested in hearing what

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Speaker 1: that person had to say, and you agreed with your

419
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 1: friends to attend only on the assumption that you guys

420
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Speaker 1: would go to a bar afterwards. That that is the story.

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Speaker 1: So let me ask you this. Let's talk about where

422
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Speaker 1: that resistance came from. The resistance just came from I

423
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 1: think this skeptical version of me that didn't really believe

424
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Speaker 1: there was anything beyond success. And that's partly why I

425
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Speaker 1: called the book Think like a Monk, because I think

426
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Speaker 1: a lot of people look at them. Why would I

427
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 1: want to think like a monk? Like? Why? You know?

428
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 1: But that's the point, Like, I'm trying to break through

429
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,119
Speaker 1: that barrier of I think so many of us have

430
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 1: been conditioned to believe that success looks a certain way,

431
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 1: and that happiness looks a certain way, and that joy

432
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 1: looks a certain way. And I was one of those

433
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 1: people that was very skeptical about anything else outside of

434
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 1: my space, Like if someone wasn't pulling up in their

435
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 1: fast car, or if someone wasn't pulling up in the

436
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 1: best clothes, did I give them the time to really

437
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,440
Speaker 1: share their perspective. And I love the fact that that

438
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 1: the best moment of my life, that moment uptil that

439
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 1: point was also the most humiliating moment of my life

440
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 1: for myself, because I was being humiliated to myself, like

441
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 1: it was so humbling to walk out and then and

442
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 1: be like, ah, you had it all wrong. And so

443
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,439
Speaker 1: I love that. I really celebrate the humbling that that

444
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 1: moment gave me. And it's exactly that that when you

445
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 1: hear someone speak and they speak about things that you

446
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 1: never knew you were interested in. You never thought that

447
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,120
Speaker 1: you'd be fascinated by someone talking about service. But when

448
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 1: he spoke about service, it just penetrated my soul and

449
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 1: it just spoke so deep to my core in a

450
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 1: way that nothing ever has. That I could hear about

451
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,479
Speaker 1: someone talking about making a billion dollars and it wouldn't

452
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: feel the same way. What was it that he said? Specifically,

453
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 1: he was quoting another writer and he mentioned this phrase.

454
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 1: He said, plant trees under whose shade you do not

455
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: plan to sit. He said that the best use of

456
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 1: your talents and skills is not to use it to

457
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 1: become rich, famous and successful, but to use it in

458
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: the service of others. When he said that, I was like, wow,

459
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,719
Speaker 1: like that's a pretty bold statement. And I think for

460
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 1: me it was, you know, it was partly my openness

461
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 1: just came because and I've said this before, but I'll

462
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,640
Speaker 1: repeat it because it really hit me. It's like when

463
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,640
Speaker 1: I was eighteen, I'd met people who were beautiful, I'd

464
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 1: met people who are rich, I'd met people who are strong,

465
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,879
Speaker 1: and met people who are powerful, but I don't think

466
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,399
Speaker 1: i'd ever met anyone who was truly happy. And he

467
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 1: looked and I still know him. He's really happy. What's

468
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 1: his name, Goads So's. He's like, he's just like this big,

469
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,199
Speaker 1: joyful like anytime I spend time with him, and he

470
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 1: has a crazy schedule, like the way he lives and

471
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 1: how powerfully like he's He went, you know, he went

472
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 1: to I went to the Indian Institute of Technology. He's

473
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 1: super smart, like one of the smartest people in his year,

474
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: like very accomplished, and he gave it all up. And

475
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 1: I was like, either he's really smart or he's really crazy.

476
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: And I wanted to find out. And I think that's

477
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: all I had is that. I was like, he must

478
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 1: be onto something because if he had it all lined up,

479
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 1: but he gave it up and he's really happy, what

480
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 1: is it? Right? Like that's that's kind of where the curiosity. Yeah,

481
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds more like confusion, like I don't understand,

482
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,439
Speaker 1: you know, I need, I need, I need to square

483
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:32,639
Speaker 1: this equation. Yeah. Yeah, partly confusion, but partly all curiosity

484
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: in the sense of just like he must be really smart,

485
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: he must be really crazy. Like if he's smart, he's

486
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 1: onto something Like how did he gain so much joy,

487
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 1: satisfaction and contentment in not chasing the dream that everyone

488
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: around him was chasing and that society is constantly sort

489
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,439
Speaker 1: of pushing us towards. Absolutely absolutely, and I was I

490
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 1: was fascinated. But what was his or he's still young?

491
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 1: What's his uh particular genus of you know, spirituality? Like

492
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,920
Speaker 1: what tradition? So he's a Hindu monk. He's a Hindu monk,

493
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 1: and he's what I would consider I in the book,

494
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,200
Speaker 1: I break down and think like a monk. I break

495
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 1: down dharma and purpose and calling. So he would probably

496
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: sit under the leader type of individual. He's very ambitious,

497
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 1: very focused. He can get a lot done. He's a

498
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 1: powerhous to be around. At the same time, he works

499
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,479
Speaker 1: up a two am to meditate every day, takes care

500
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 1: of his health. He's just he's one of these like

501
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 1: all rounder types of people who's just yeah, really good

502
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: at taking care of his mind, body and spirit. But

503
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: at the same time he really wants to do something

504
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: for the world. He has that energy. There is something

505
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: about certain individuals I'm reluctant to say the word enlightened,

506
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 1: but people who are carrying a higher level of consciousness

507
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 1: that when you're in their presence, it's undeniable, like it's

508
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 1: you can't you can't reduce it to words, but there

509
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: is a sensation of what it feels like to be

510
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: in that person's presence. And he introduced me to his

511
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: spiritual teachers, also one of my suppositual teachers rather than

512
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: at Swammy, who's been a monk for forty years now

513
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: and he's in England, in India and India, and he's

514
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 1: older as well, and it's like I feel like that

515
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 1: when I'm with him every time, like it's just yeah,

516
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 1: it's that undeniable presence. And I always say to people,

517
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 1: you need to you need to feel it to believe it,

518
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: like you need to be there. You can't, like you said,

519
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 1: you can't reduce it to words. And yeah, I feel

520
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 1: that now when even when I go to temples. When

521
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 1: I was in South India particularly, and your home reminds

522
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 1: me a lot of South India because there's a lot

523
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 1: of these stone statues and the mountain out there. We've

524
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 1: had we had some proper swammy here or while we've

525
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: had lots of swammis past career, over the years. Yeah,

526
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: And one of them looked out of the mountain across

527
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: the way and he said, this feels like my home.

528
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 1: And in his home is anah yeah, yeah, which is

529
00:25:56,440 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 1: a very kind of like powerful spiritual for attack absally yeah,

530
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 1: and vortex is the right work. So when I went

531
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: to South India, it's a city with these powerful gates.

532
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: So if you look at South Indian architecture, it's like

533
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: these in you You've got a lot of in your home.

534
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: But it's like this incredible kind of like almost like

535
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: Avengers Marvel meets spiritual culture kind of like spaceship kind

536
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: of these these doors and gates and and it's you

537
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: know the temples that are like five thousand years old.

538
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,239
Speaker 1: And when you walk through those corridors, there's one that

539
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 1: literally feels like you're going to walk through it and

540
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: be transported to another dimension because the way the pillars

541
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: are built. And this is a bolt a thousand years

542
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: like Star Trek. Yeah literally, yeah, exactly, it's just yeah,

543
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 1: it's super what's it? What's what's some more up to

544
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,439
Speaker 1: date reference point kind of like Doctor Strange because like

545
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 1: Doctor Strange but on steroids, Like it's just yeah, it's expansive.

546
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 1: And I think that is one of those things that

547
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: you have to sit in that present. You have to

548
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: go there to believe it. And and I think anyone

549
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 1: who has whether they have a faith or not. And

550
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 1: and that's really what's important to me is how do

551
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: we share these ta teachings in a way that it's

552
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 1: not bound by faith or religion or spiritual tradition even

553
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 1: for me, Like this book isn't about becoming a spiritual

554
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 1: tradition or a particular philosophy. It's it's about living like

555
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 1: you and thinking like a monk. Right, That's that's the ballet. Yeah,

556
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: I mean two things, there's two powerful precepts here. One

557
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 1: is you can't transmit something you haven't got Like when

558
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 1: you're in the presence of somebody like that, you know

559
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 1: it and you know there are a lot of pretenders

560
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: to that type of vibration, but it's pretty transparent, like

561
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: who's really carrying that kind of wisdom and who's pretending

562
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: to And second to that is this idea that you

563
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: really fully embrace, which is meeting people where they're at.

564
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 1: Like if you show up in robes and you're you're

565
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: framing your presentation in a way that creates a distance

566
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 1: between you and the person you're trying to communicate, then

567
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 1: you're already you know, basically behind home plate in terms

568
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 1: of like trying to connect or transmit. Yeah. Yeah, And

569
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 1: there's two things you were about there which I think

570
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 1: are really interesting. It's the first is it's all about

571
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 1: the frequency you're operating at. So if someone is fooling

572
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 1: your pretending or trying to be something, if you're operating

573
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 1: at lower frequency, you may follow for a while and

574
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 1: you may not know. But when you start upping your frequency,

575
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: that's when you can really see that, Oh right now,

576
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 1: I can see the difference. And it's not in a

577
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 1: judgmental way or a critical way. It's just frequencies, and

578
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 1: at the second point, you're making there around, you know,

579
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: really really speaking to people about where they're at, or

580
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 1: meeting them where they're at and connecting with them. For me,

581
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 1: it's just I think compassion is not expecting people to

582
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 1: be more advanced than they are. And that's what people

583
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: have done with me. I mean when I went to

584
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: the usherroom and when I split up with these monks,

585
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: I mean I am in no way and even now

586
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:53,959
Speaker 1: I'm not. I mean, their compassion even to spend time

587
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: with me now. And I feel like when you've experienced

588
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: that level of compassion where people see you, they look

589
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: through your so they watch you and they just think

590
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: they can see everything about you that you don't like

591
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: about yourself, and they will still find that spark of

592
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: potential and the spark that makes them believe that we

593
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: should invest and serve and help this human being. And

594
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 1: for me, when you've experienced that level of compassion, even

595
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 1: if you are still dealing with stuff yourself, you want

596
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: to pass it on. And so when I see anyone

597
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: at any level, I don't judge anyone because hey, hey

598
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: I've been there before. Hey I'm still there kind of

599
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,719
Speaker 1: in some ways, and I know how hard it is

600
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,719
Speaker 1: to get out of that mess, and so how can

601
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: I judge someone just because there are three steps behind? Yeah,

602
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: so you have this experience with this spark. Yeah, apparently

603
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: everything changes. So how does it change? Well, my lifestyle,

604
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: and I've talked about this before, like my personal lifestyle

605
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: styled the same. I was still dating. I was still

606
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 1: I'd given up alcohol by that time, and they'd given

607
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: up like you know, drugs and stuff. So I wasn't

608
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: really playing. And I was always very experimental. I've never

609
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: been an addict or a regular consumer of anything. I've

610
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: just been an experiment in my whole life. But for me,

611
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 1: it was my Yeah, I was still dating, I was

612
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 1: still doing everything that anyone ever did. There was nothing

613
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: changed in that, but I was now mentally curious and

614
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: checking it out. So I spent the next four years,

615
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: half of them in my summer vacations interning at financial

616
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 1: companies in London, where I thought I would end up

617
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: working just because my university recommended that. And the other

618
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: half of my breaks, I'd spend them living in India

619
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 1: with the monks to experience that lifestyle. So I would

620
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 1: literally go as I explain it, from steakhouses, bars and

621
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: suits to robes, sleeping on the floor and meditating every day. Right,

622
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: So was that was that this Monk's teachers ashram. Yes, yeah, no,

623
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: it's two hours outside of Mumbai, so it's in the

624
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: middle of nowhere. But it's yeah, that two hours, said Mbai. Yeah.

625
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: And were there other Westerners there, Yeah, yeah, yeah, plenty, yeah,

626
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 1: plenty of visitors from all over the world, people from Australia,

627
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 1: people from Europe, people from London, and yeah, they'd definitely

628
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: have a lot of visitors even to us. Yeah, So

629
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: initially it was a couple of years of half the summer. Yeah,

630
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: it wasn't It wasn't long. I'd go there for like

631
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 1: two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, like I would go

632
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 1: there for short bursts of time and just just experiencing,

633
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: just just live like them and live with them. And

634
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 1: for me, and I didn't know this again, in hindsight,

635
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 1: it was me really getting to live both options of life.

636
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: Like I was getting to live in the city, I

637
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: was getting to wear a fancy suit to work every

638
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 1: day and get to perform well in the workplace and

639
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: you know, go through all of whatever that is networking

640
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: and meeting people, and then I would get to do that,

641
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 1: and I just got so much more satisfaction from it.

642
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: I felt satisfaction from the service we did, I felt

643
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: satisfaction from the meditations, and if I'm completely honest, the

644
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: biggest thing that that got me at that time was

645
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: I didn't have to think that ego and humility and

646
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 1: vulnerability and empathy and compassion, these weren't just going to

647
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: be concepts anymore. These were going to be real practices

648
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: and weaknesses, yeah, weaknesses, These could become focuses that I

649
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: could really wrap my head around them. Because when I

650
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: was back in the city and I was trying to

651
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: perform and I was trying to show my boss who

652
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: was the best and who was performing well, it was

653
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 1: hard to maintain that level of gravity because not because

654
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 1: it's impossible, because it's not that that's what I lay

655
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 1: out and that's what I'm trying to teach right now.

656
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 1: It was harder because I hadn't had that training. And

657
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 1: so now that I've come out of the astroom, I

658
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: feel like my Monk training has allowed me to continue

659
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: to practice those principles in the real world. Whereas at

660
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: that time I was just an eighteen year old kid

661
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 1: who was still conditioned by everything else. I suppose the distinction.

662
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: It's one thing to make a decision after you'd lived

663
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 1: as a monk during that like three year period, making

664
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: this hardline decision Okay, I'm going back into the world,

665
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 1: But when you kind of have one foot in both worlds, Yeah,

666
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: I suspect that it probably became progressively more difficult to

667
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 1: relate or connect with your friends back in Wonder. Yeah.

668
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: I was, you know, I was very open with the

669
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 1: closest friends. I remember one of my friends saying to me, like, oh, well,

670
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 1: you know, he was always we would always talk about

671
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: women together, right, We would always talk about girls, like

672
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: which girls we liked and who he was dating and

673
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 1: all this kind of stuff. And all of a sudden,

674
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: I don't time, I would come back from being a monk.

675
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: I'd have a monk moment and and you know try

676
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: and like resist the urge to just talk about women

677
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 1: in that way and the way it can be done.

678
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: And my friend would just be like, what We're not

679
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 1: what we're going to talk about it? You know, it's

680
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 1: just like confused, like where's this life going? And other

681
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: parts of other parts and having to say, And I

682
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 1: want to give credit to my friends too. Some of

683
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 1: my other friends were just really intrigued and so they

684
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 1: actually wanted to learn. And so I ran a society

685
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: at university called Think out Loud, and every week I

686
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: would present a topic based on philosophy, science, and psychology.

687
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 1: So I would take a movie, I would dissect the characters,

688
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 1: I would we would watch half the movie together and

689
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: then would break down the roles and I would talk

690
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: about philosophy, science, and spiritual reality and psychology to students.

691
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 1: And when I started it, we had like ten students.

692
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 1: By the time we finished, university had one hundred students

693
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 1: coming every week. And it was totally free. There was

694
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,920
Speaker 1: no catch, there was no followers, there's not nothing. It

695
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: was just this beautiful experience. And that's kind of where

696
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 1: I got into the habit of everything I learned as

697
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 1: a monk, I would teach it. So if I was

698
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: learning about karma, I would teach it that week. If

699
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: I went that summer and I learned about ego, I

700
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 1: would talk about ego. And so I just started sharing

701
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 1: what I was learning because I found that to be

702
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 1: the best way of letting people connect. And that's kind

703
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 1: of where I got fascinated with this whole thing. So

704
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 1: this whole trajectory gets planned then, like you're you're starting

705
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: to teach and share even before you go off and

706
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,799
Speaker 1: be a full time mom way before, and that experience

707
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 1: of reviewing movies and discussing it really is, I mean,

708
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 1: that's the germination for these videos that you do now,

709
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: one hundred percent like that, that really was the beginning.

710
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 1: And that was when I was eighteen years old, so

711
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: fourteen years ago now, and I just loved putting on

712
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 1: a session every week. And then I got invited to

713
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,400
Speaker 1: other universities, so I go to the London School of

714
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 1: Economics in present and I go to this other university

715
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 1: and I was just loving the fact that I was

716
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,399
Speaker 1: finding so many young people in London that wanted this

717
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: over anything else. Like that's what I was impressed by

718
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,240
Speaker 1: the most, that there was a need, and that convinced

719
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: me very early on that if presented effectively, there wasn't

720
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 1: community for this, and people really were searching. It's very

721
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 1: similar to Andy Pottocomb's Andy's yeah, yeah, I mean he's

722
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:29,320
Speaker 1: the only other person who's had right I know, but

723
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,760
Speaker 1: him coming back from that experience and returning to London

724
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,879
Speaker 1: and then kind of hosting these salons. He meets rich

725
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: and then they start kind of you know, basically doing

726
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 1: informal get togethers that then you know, become and grow

727
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 1: into Headspace. But the idea started in a similar way

728
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: to kind of what you're telling about. Yeah, exactly, And

729
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 1: this was I actually remember I told Andy this. I

730
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 1: said to him that the year I first found out

731
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: about headspace is the year I became a monk. And

732
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 1: I told him this. I was so impressed by what

733
00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: he was doing. And I said to him, if I

734
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 1: would have had the money, I would have invested, but

735
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 1: I had no money. I've said this Andy. He's been

736
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: on my podcast and we've done a few panels together.

737
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,919
Speaker 1: But yeah, he's amazing. I love Andy, and I said

738
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: that to him. I was so impressed by what they

739
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 1: did because I was just starting that journey and I

740
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: saw what he'd done. I was like, Wow, that's fascinating,

741
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 1: you know, it's so great to see that. But yeah, yeah,

742
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: I think this is the reason why I'm sharing this

743
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: too with you Riches. You know, I've been doing this

744
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: online for like three to four years, but in my

745
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 1: life I've been doing this for fourteen years. Like I've

746
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: literally done this every single day of my life for

747
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 1: the last fourteen years in some way, shape or form,

748
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: whether I was reading, studying, or teaching or sharing. And

749
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 1: so for me, it's become my life. And when I

750
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: left being a monk, I didn't want to not do

751
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 1: that anymore. And what I get to do now is

752
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 1: what brought me back to that to be able to learn, study, teach,

753
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: share and live in that element which I feel so

754
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:55,320
Speaker 1: much connected to. Yeah, and meet people where they are. Yeah,

755
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: that was That's always been my thing because because I've

756
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 1: been you know, I've been plucked out, Like you know,

757
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 1: it's when you've been drowning in an ocean of material

758
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:09,280
Speaker 1: thought and someone had the compassion and empathy to reach

759
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: down and grab you. You feel like you want to

760
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 1: do the same thing. And that's just my meditation constantly.

761
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: You know, you don't you can't ever go back from that,

762
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: the amount of gratitude I have for the people that

763
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: have invested in me, and that opened up my eyes.

764
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: I was eighteen years old, I would have gone down

765
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 1: the path of becoming an I probably if I had

766
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: it my way, I probably would have wanted to become

767
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: an art director and a massive company. I probably would

768
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 1: have done pretty well for myself. I would have traveled

769
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,280
Speaker 1: the world and wasted my life like that's I always

770
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 1: think about that moment of sliding doors, what could have been,

771
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: And that's why I would have been. But because I

772
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 1: met these incredibly powerful people who wanted nothing from me

773
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: but just to give, it changed my life. And that's

774
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 1: the opportunity I want. And for people, it may not

775
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 1: be a monk, but when you think like a monk,

776
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,840
Speaker 1: you you recognize that, actually, am I exposing myself to

777
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: as many alternative methods of thought? Am I really allowing

778
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: myself to experience everything the world has to offer? Because

779
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: if I'm not, I'm already limiting myself in a world

780
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 1: that's actually unlimited. And that's the challenge I see, is

781
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 1: that we are living at a time when you have

782
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,240
Speaker 1: the most choice available, you have the most experiences available,

783
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 1: but we still put ourselves in these prisons. Not only

784
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 1: that those prisons are one of self seeking. I mean

785
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 1: you mentioned giving. I mean giving is you know, service

786
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 1: is the cornerstone of this whole thing. Yes, being in

787
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: selfless service to others, Yes, which is just counterprogramming to

788
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 1: the way entire you know, our entire infrastructure of Western

789
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: civilization is constructive. Yes, absolutely, yeah, complete counterprogramming. I remember

790
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: when I was giving a talk this was probably about like,

791
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 1: oh yeah, probably about four years ago, and I was

792
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: speaking to a group of executives and one of them

793
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: came up to me afterwards and he said, how old

794
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 1: were you when you became among I was like twenty two,

795
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 1: And he said, when did you get the realization that

796
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,240
Speaker 1: life was about selfless service? And I said, well, I'm

797
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: still getting there. I'm not there yet. But the first

798
00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: time I fell in love with that idea, I was eighteen.

799
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 1: He goes, the first time I realized that life was

800
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: beyond me, I was forty two years old, when you know,

801
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 1: my child was growing up. And he goes, that was

802
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 1: the first time I realized that life was not just

803
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: about me. And I was thinking, wow, like to me,

804
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: it was. To me. It's weird because I got exposed

805
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,800
Speaker 1: to it at eighteen. I couldn't believe that someone didn't

806
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 1: understand that even today. Like the reason why we're all

807
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 1: repeating messages and continue to I think remind people of

808
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 1: these messages and even ourselves is because you could hear

809
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,720
Speaker 1: that life is about service a million times, but until

810
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 1: you practice it and until you really until you really

811
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: mold it into every era of your life, like this

812
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: podcast is your service. I think we think of service

813
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: also very limited. We think service means to go out

814
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: and help a charity or being at the Superkochen correct,

815
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 1: And that is beautiful and people should do it's it's

816
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 1: wonderful and I think we should all do it, and

817
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 1: I try and do it as much as I can.

818
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 1: But service is also serving through your calling, your talents,

819
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 1: your skills, your purpose that benefits other people, and it

820
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 1: can be different, like you know, yeah, so yeah, there's

821
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 1: so many methods. Well, the ultimate is when you can

822
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 1: find that thing that lights you up and channel that

823
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 1: in a way to give back to others and also

824
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 1: support yourself and your family in doing it. I mean,

825
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 1: that's the secret. That's what this does for me. I

826
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: just feel like the luckiest person in the world too. Yes,

827
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: you know, live in this time where this is possible

828
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,720
Speaker 1: and to have kind of stumbled into this, Yeah, for sure.

829
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,399
Speaker 1: There's there's a beautiful story that I share that you've

830
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 1: reminded me of now and it's It's the story of

831
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: two monks that washing their bowls, and while they're washing

832
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: their bowls, they see a One of the monks sees

833
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,359
Speaker 1: a scorpion drowning, and so he helps the scorpion out

834
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: of the water and puts it onto the side, and

835
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 1: in that process he gets stung by the scorpion, and

836
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,279
Speaker 1: the other monk says, what are you doing? Like you

837
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 1: know this stupid He sit dount, don't worry about don't

838
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: worry about it. This scorpion falls in again into the water.

839
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,319
Speaker 1: The monk picks it up again get stung in the

840
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 1: process and puts it onto the side, so that the

841
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 1: other monks just like, Okay, now you're just being ridiculous,

842
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 1: Like what are you doing? He said, why are you

843
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: saving the scorpion when you know that it's nature is

844
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: to sting, And among replies goes, I know that the

845
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 1: scorpions nature is to sting, but my nature is to save.

846
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:16,280
Speaker 1: And so he understood how hard wired his service mindset

847
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 1: was that he was willing to go through the pain

848
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 1: to act in that way. So what I'm trying to

849
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: share with that story is that we're all wired to

850
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: serve naturally as children, as kids as people, as humans,

851
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 1: but we've been educated for greed. And you see this,

852
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:35,319
Speaker 1: there's countless viral videos of kids who like walk up

853
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: to their television screen and wipe the cartoon characters tears

854
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 1: off with their tissues, or like kids like running to

855
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 1: help the person next to them, and we were all

856
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 1: once that person. But it's just the education that we get.

857
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: And I'm not just too much school. I'm just staying

858
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 1: generally the education of becoming self centered. And whether you

859
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,720
Speaker 1: look at from a scientific point of view, the studies

860
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 1: that have been done when people help people, their depression

861
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: goes down, their mental health goes up. When people help people,

862
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 1: they're able to feel more joy and experience more happiness

863
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,800
Speaker 1: in their lives. Like we are happier when we serve

864
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 1: and help people, and that I think has been so

865
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: lost that if someone genuinely awesome so because I think

866
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 1: everyone hearing that will say, oh, yeah, but I like

867
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 1: to help people. I try if you really did an

868
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 1: audit of how much time you spend every week genuinely

869
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: helping someone who is giving you no help, or is

870
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: genuinely helping someone who does nothing back for you, I'd

871
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 1: find that we'd say a very very little amount of

872
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 1: t Yeah. The key is doing it when it's not convenient.

873
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 1: Correct what I mean? Yes, exactly, that's the best fair

874
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 1: to say. Yeah exactly. Yeah, it's tough. I mean, listen,

875
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 1: you know you hit it on the head. I mean,

876
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 1: it's not it's not your school. It's like by osmosis.

877
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 1: It's like I hear what you're saying, Jay, that's great,

878
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 1: but like I gotta get mine, dude. Yeah, you know,

879
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 1: times the clock's ticking and time's running out and I

880
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 1: got my hustle on. Yeah. So you want my response

881
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: to that, sure, Yeah. My My response to that is

882
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:09,359
Speaker 1: that mentality will get you the thing, and it will

883
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: get you the number, and it will get you the

884
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: money in the bank, but you won't feel satisfied. And

885
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: that's my hypothesis. So go test it, and I would

886
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 1: gladly let anyone test that, and I guarantee you that's

887
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: how you feel. What happens, though, is you get it.

888
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 1: You have that experience of momentary elation that quickly fades

889
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: the half life on that is very short, and then

890
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: you think your next thought isn't I need a new path?

891
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 1: Your next thought is, well, when I get that next

892
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 1: thing exactly gonna lock in. Absolutely, it's the habster wheel, right,

893
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 1: It's it's it's the conveyor belt, and it's that's it's

894
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 1: the treadmill. That's the that's the challenge with that. And

895
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 1: I think that's why we have to learn from people

896
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: who have got there and feel that way. I think

897
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 1: we have to. It's like, you know, when you hear

898
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: Jim Carrey say like everyone should get everything they want

899
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: and become everything they ever wanted, just to realize it's

900
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 1: not the point when you see everyone who gets to

901
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:08,439
Speaker 1: the peak of financial or fame or beauty success, they

902
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 1: then try and serve like that's just what everyone ends

903
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,319
Speaker 1: up having to do. We're in the world capital of

904
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 1: that right here. Yeah, you know what I mean, absolutely,

905
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 1: And you see it like you know, I can't remember

906
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: who said this, but you know it's it's talked about

907
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: like your success. I can't remember who said it, but

908
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:28,320
Speaker 1: your success is based on the depth of the problem

909
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: you solve, right. And it's like if you look at

910
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: any success, even if it's Jeff Bezos and Amazon, and

911
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: someone goes, I want to be Jeff Bezos, Jeff has

912
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 1: solved not that I know him, but Jeff has solved

913
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 1: a issue that people had, So it's still service. And

914
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: I think that's what we miss. That anyone's winning, even financially,

915
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: whether we agree with their business model or not, they

916
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 1: are performing some type of service to people. And because

917
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 1: he's serving more people with an issue that they have,

918
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: he's able to make more money. So even from a

919
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: totally financial perspective, service still wins. Like there's no there's

920
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,399
Speaker 1: no you know, there's no taking away at that. It's

921
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 1: it's a more it's just an expansive definition of service, correct, correct,

922
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 1: But it's still sold. Service ultimately is solving a problem

923
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 1: that really is a core need in people's lives. And

924
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: I think that could be a starting point for someone

925
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 1: if they're still like, ja, I don't go right, I'm

926
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 1: still I'm just trying to be people where there. I'm

927
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 1: with you, all right, So you make this decision to

928
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 1: go be a month full time? You live in the

929
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: sash ram for three years, yes, yeah, yeah, and we

930
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,360
Speaker 1: traveled a lot too, so we lived in ushrooms across London,

931
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: Mumbai and Europe as well. Oh wow, um yeah, I

932
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 1: think similarly. And he was in he went, he was

933
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 1: in crush he was in Russia and Scotland. Yeah, so

934
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 1: walk me through like a typical day in the life

935
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 1: of that experience. Yeah, so you wake up at four

936
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 1: am every day no matter where you are. And four

937
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 1: thirty is collective prayers and meditation. So four thirty till

938
00:45:56,239 --> 00:46:01,799
Speaker 1: about five fifteen. Then five fifteen till seven thirty is

939
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 1: personal meditation time. So that's personal meditation practice often in

940
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 1: a communal space with other people, can be private. Two

941
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 1: and then seven thirty to eight is seven thirty to

942
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: eight thirty is a class or class on philosophy from

943
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: the bargut Geeta or the Schumant Bargutum or one of

944
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 1: these spiritual texts or punishads puranas. Instead, I'll be an

945
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 1: hour class given by one of the senior monks or

946
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 1: senior teachers. Usually one of my favorite things to look

947
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: forward to in the day because that's I was like

948
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 1: kind of like I was always waiting for that, because

949
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 1: the classes were just so powerful and hearing people who've

950
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,439
Speaker 1: studied all the commentaries in the books. And then eight

951
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 1: thirties breakfast. Breakfast is usually in India would be some

952
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,480
Speaker 1: kind of Indian dish kind of similar to I don't

953
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 1: know how to describe it, it's called flat rice. That's

954
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: the easiest way to describe it. So some simple food

955
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 1: and then from then on it wouldn't be different every day.

956
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 1: So the way it was split up is the morning

957
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 1: was about yourself, and the afternoon and evening were about service.

958
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 1: And that's where I I fell in love with this

959
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: routine of self and service. And I think today now

960
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,360
Speaker 1: the world's coming a lot back to self love and

961
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,359
Speaker 1: I feel like that's where we got to experience both

962
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: very clearly. When you spend half your day taking care

963
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 1: of yourself, you spend the other half serving, you get

964
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 1: this beautiful synergy between the two. So for the rest

965
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 1: of the day, we'd be out feeding children, we'd be

966
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: out building the sustainable village that we were at, we'd

967
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 1: be out teaching, we'd be out helping, like, we'd be

968
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 1: out doing something and that would change every day depending

969
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 1: on what the need was. Sometimes would be chores as well,

970
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 1: like washing your clubs. I mean washing monk robes are

971
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 1: not fun at all. They're these huge bed shoots. So yeah,

972
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 1: that's sounds like seven days a week. Do you get

973
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: a day off or you can go, you know, do

974
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,439
Speaker 1: whatever you want. You know. I always I was one

975
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,759
Speaker 1: of those guys who wanted that day off. I was like,

976
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: I was like, if I make it a five of

977
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 1: the four ams, can I skip the other note? You

978
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 1: don't get to It doesn't work like that. And I

979
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 1: mean there's a lot of reflection time in the day

980
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: that you get and you have to really work through

981
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff because your ego gets in the way,

982
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,800
Speaker 1: your opinions start to get in the way. And living

983
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 1: community is a real experience. Like when you live community

984
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 1: with that many men in one place, it's like you

985
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:18,400
Speaker 1: really have to face your ego, your pride, your competitive mentality,

986
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 1: your comparison on a daily basis. It's really tough. Did

987
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 1: humanity ever just percolate to the surface and dudes start fistfighting? No, like,

988
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: no one ever actually, Like the only time monks would

989
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 1: ever get from the humans are humans. Yeah, I don't

990
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 1: care how much you're meditating now at some point, you know, No,

991
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: it was never that that. The only time the monks

992
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 1: ever got into physical was when the special sacred food

993
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 1: came out. So there's sacred food that's often and like

994
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 1: there's these sweets and we didn't you know, we didn't

995
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 1: eat a lot of sugar or anything like that there.

996
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: So whenever these sweets came out there, these milk sweets sometimes,

997
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 1: and so these sweets were like the kind of like, yeah, yeah,

998
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 1: I've never spent time in an ashram, but I've been well,

999
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:05,319
Speaker 1: we should go to I would like to. I mean,

1000
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 1: I like to take you. I would enjoy that. I'm

1001
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 1: being serious, I'm being deadly serious. We should go together

1002
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,359
Speaker 1: to the I go back every year. Yeah, I still do. Yeah,

1003
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,280
Speaker 1: every year. So I go back every usually December January

1004
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 1: appeared because the weather is good to go then. Yeah,

1005
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 1: for anyone who's not from India, like I struggled during

1006
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,879
Speaker 1: the hot times in India too, So that's the best

1007
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: time if you're visiting. But I'd love to take You'd

1008
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,400
Speaker 1: be so fun, it would be cool. Yeah. In my

1009
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 1: experience of you know, sitting in meditation with various you know,

1010
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 1: swamis over the years and and and being around you know,

1011
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 1: various types of those kind of communities, Yeah, the thing

1012
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 1: that I noticed, like the humanity that I see in

1013
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:49,879
Speaker 1: that is the um is the institutionalization of the guru. Right,

1014
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,240
Speaker 1: and then it becomes like this pecking order of who's

1015
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 1: close to the higher consciousness, and there seems to be

1016
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 1: a lot of jockeying around. Like that's where I see

1017
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 1: like the sort of character like the you know, our

1018
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 1: innate humanity percolating the surface and manifesting and character flaws. Yeah,

1019
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: for sure, that's a really good point. And I saw

1020
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 1: that too, And I feel like, I feel like my

1021
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: teachers did a very good job of not trying to create, enjoy,

1022
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:26,360
Speaker 1: or build that type of culture. They tried their best,

1023
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: but the follower's mentality is so strong. So I'll give

1024
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 1: an example, like, so, so whenever I was with one

1025
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,959
Speaker 1: of my teachers, if we travel together, whether and and

1026
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 1: you know, I'm I'm you have to put yourself in

1027
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: the mindset of I'm a very junior monk and spiritually

1028
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: very junior too. So I'm like, I'm like right at

1029
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 1: the bottom of the pile, right, And it's like when

1030
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 1: I would travel with the senior most teacher, there was

1031
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 1: a respect in where we pay physical respects as you've

1032
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 1: probably seen before, where people pay physically bow on the

1033
00:50:56,480 --> 00:51:00,080
Speaker 1: floor to show respect to teachers, to etc. And and

1034
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:03,839
Speaker 1: he at seventy years old, there was never a day

1035
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 1: behind closed doors when no one else was watching that

1036
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 1: he wouldn't get back and pay those respects on the floor,

1037
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:11,239
Speaker 1: And to me, that was the that was the moment

1038
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 1: where I was like, he's real because there was no

1039
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 1: more no one to show off to. I was not

1040
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 1: senior that I deserved it, like there was no you know,

1041
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,359
Speaker 1: from from the point of view of a hierarchy, even

1042
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 1: though there wasn't one. But he would have the humility

1043
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:28,360
Speaker 1: and the human humanity to recognize that if a soul

1044
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: or if a person is showing me respects, and I'll

1045
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 1: showed those respects back. And I felt that at seventy

1046
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: years old, I'm you know, I'm like twenty two years old,

1047
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 1: like a seventy year old man, Like that's beautiful. Like

1048
00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 1: then there was some beauty in there, and that was

1049
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 1: that was part of it, and the other part was

1050
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,800
Speaker 1: the you know. And it's funny because we talk about

1051
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 1: this a lot, even even with the other monks and

1052
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 1: other people that about. My teacher would never have a

1053
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 1: favorite or a number one, and he never verbalized this,

1054
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 1: but we all knew it. And and one of the

1055
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:58,399
Speaker 1: senior monks he always said to me, he said, if

1056
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: you want to be the number one, you won't last

1057
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 1: very long right, and he literally said it to me.

1058
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 1: He goes, if you want to be his number one,

1059
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 1: go to right hand man, all that kind of stuff.

1060
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 1: He goes, you're not going to last long here, because

1061
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 1: he said, anyone who wanted that position, they never got

1062
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 1: it because he doesn't want it to exist, and so

1063
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: you will fail. And I remember having this conversation with

1064
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 1: him and he's, you know, because he's been so close

1065
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 1: to him for so long, and he said to me,

1066
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 1: he said, there are times this is wrong with us.

1067
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 1: He goes, there are times when I've had to be

1068
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: really close to support him, and there are times when

1069
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:29,399
Speaker 1: I've had to move away and step back and let

1070
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 1: him do what he needs to do. And it's like,

1071
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,000
Speaker 1: he goes, it doesn't work like that. So I think

1072
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 1: that good leaders always try and avoid creating that culture.

1073
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 1: But our follower mentality is so strong that we want

1074
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,799
Speaker 1: someone to worship and idolize, and we want that we're

1075
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 1: seeking on. Our identity is informed by proximity to that person. Yeah,

1076
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,439
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Yeah, And there's two types

1077
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:02,879
Speaker 1: of proximity. So I'll tell you anyways, sparking all these memories,

1078
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:04,799
Speaker 1: so we're walking on this beach in South India. It's

1079
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: called Setubund. It's a very holy place and like literally

1080
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 1: the tip of South India if you were to look

1081
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,439
Speaker 1: at a map. And so we're walking on this beach,

1082
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,840
Speaker 1: it's about twenty five months and our senior teacher and

1083
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,919
Speaker 1: we're all walking behind him, and everyone's trying to walk

1084
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 1: close to him, and he's just walking like he's not

1085
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,399
Speaker 1: even talking to anyone. He's just walking and he's doing

1086
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,759
Speaker 1: a walking meditation and everyone's around him. And it was

1087
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 1: there that I had had a realization. I was like,

1088
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,000
Speaker 1: there are two ways of being close to him. Either

1089
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: I push everyone away and try and walk through the middle,

1090
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: or I push everyone closer and be close because everyone

1091
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:43,360
Speaker 1: else is closer too. And I was like, I remember

1092
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 1: having a real reflection point at that moment. I was like, wow, like,

1093
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: these are the two options in life we always have.

1094
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:49,759
Speaker 1: You either get closer to people because you try and

1095
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: push everyone else out of the way, or you get

1096
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 1: closer to people because you take everyone with you. And

1097
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to try to do that

1098
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 1: second one for the rest of my life. If I

1099
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 1: want to be close to someone, I'm going to take

1100
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: everyone close to that person. I'm going to be that

1101
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: guy who's trying to and that's my hope, you know,

1102
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 1: that's my meditation. Yeah, that requires that you dispense with

1103
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 1: the zero sum game mentality. Explain it meaning that your

1104
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: success can only come at the expense of others, right, Yeah,

1105
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: as opposed to the universe is infinitely abundant. Yes, and

1106
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 1: there's room for everybody here. Yeah. Yeah, a non fear

1107
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 1: based perspective. Yeah, and think like a monk, I call it.

1108
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:29,240
Speaker 1: There are an infinite number of seats in the theater

1109
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 1: of happiness. So we in our minds have started to

1110
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 1: believe that every we thing. Now, if you're booking a

1111
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:37,799
Speaker 1: cinema theater or a movie theater, there's a finite number

1112
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: of seats. You got to get tickets to the Olympics,

1113
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 1: there's a finite number of seats. There's tickets to the Coachella,

1114
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 1: whatever it is. It's like, there's a finite number of seats.

1115
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:48,800
Speaker 1: And so that finite, finite, finite finite has been drilled

1116
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 1: so deeply into us. But there are an infinite number

1117
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 1: of seats, and there's a seat with your name on

1118
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 1: it in the theater of happiness. And just because I'm

1119
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:58,040
Speaker 1: already in there, doesn't mean you can't be in there.

1120
00:54:58,120 --> 00:54:59,719
Speaker 1: Just because you're in there doesn't mean I can't be

1121
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 1: in there. And as soon as you realize that, you

1122
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 1: free yourself from realizing there is a seat with your

1123
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 1: name on it, and all you've got to do is

1124
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: claim your own seat, and no one else can take

1125
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,479
Speaker 1: that seat from you. And when you start living like that,

1126
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 1: you can collaborate, you can grow together, you can build together,

1127
00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 1: and you see this as being the epitome of I

1128
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 1: was just reading Bob Iger's book, and in there he

1129
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 1: talks about how it was and I may get a

1130
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: few of the names wrong, but I think it was.

1131
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:29,360
Speaker 1: It was Steven Spielbok for sure. As George Lucas, I

1132
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 1: think it's Quentin Tarantino. You're saying they used to get

1133
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 1: together and they would critique each other's movies before they

1134
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 1: came out, so to give each other feedback. You're talking

1135
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,799
Speaker 1: about some of the best of all time, like being

1136
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 1: comfortable showing their work to their competitors. Now that's the point, right,

1137
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,919
Speaker 1: Like I've never watched the Quentin Tarantino film and felt

1138
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 1: I was watching a Steven Spielberg film and I've never

1139
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:54,000
Speaker 1: watched a Spielberg film thinking I'm watching a George Lucas film,

1140
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 1: which just shows a how incredibly creative and talented they are,

1141
00:55:57,239 --> 00:55:59,879
Speaker 1: but also how much they trusted what they were off

1142
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 1: to the game. Yeah, and that to me is such

1143
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: a powerful metaphor. And I mean it's not even metaphor,

1144
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 1: it's literal of how you live in a There are

1145
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 1: an infinite number of seats in the theater of happiness.

1146
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 1: On the subject of happiness, you know, I think you

1147
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 1: would agree that we're suffering from an epidemic of loneliness

1148
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 1: and you know, depression, and you know, people are seeking

1149
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 1: for answers in different ways of living. There they're sensing

1150
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 1: their lack of you know, their lack of contentment with

1151
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:33,799
Speaker 1: the path that they've chosen for themselves. And you go

1152
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 1: online and somebody's telling you to, you know, find your

1153
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 1: bliss or you know, seek out your passion. And I

1154
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:47,000
Speaker 1: think that that's although perhaps coming from a good place

1155
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:51,919
Speaker 1: is not necessarily helpful and perhaps damaging because it leaves

1156
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,239
Speaker 1: that person thinking, well, I don't I don't know what

1157
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 1: my passion is or you know, I'm not happy, but

1158
00:56:56,840 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 1: I don't understand the path forward to find that happy penis,

1159
00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:05,200
Speaker 1: And I'm unsure about what steps I need to take

1160
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,799
Speaker 1: in order to gird my life with more purpose and

1161
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:12,799
Speaker 1: to try to find more fulfillments. So with the experiences

1162
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: that you've had, like, how do you speak to that

1163
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 1: person or meet them where they're at to try to

1164
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 1: get them to reframe their perspective on how they're living. Yeah,

1165
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:24,600
Speaker 1: So I think, first of all, it has to be

1166
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 1: a twofold approach. And what I mean by that is

1167
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 1: there is an aspect of it that is thinking and reflection,

1168
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 1: and there is a part of it that is action

1169
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 1: and experimentation. These are the two aspects of anything in

1170
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,720
Speaker 1: our life. And the biggest mistake we make is we

1171
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:41,800
Speaker 1: do too much action and experimenting without reflection, or we

1172
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 1: do too much reflection without action and experimentation. So let's

1173
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 1: let's bring them down. So let's start with the thinking

1174
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 1: and reflective approach. This is approach you can do on

1175
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 1: your own. This is the approach you can do right

1176
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,040
Speaker 1: now listening to this. This is approach that I half

1177
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 1: of it that I lay out in think like a monk.

1178
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: So the first thing I ask people to reflect on

1179
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 1: is four areas. The first area, it's things that you

1180
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 1: have an expertise in but have no passion for. Make

1181
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:11,960
Speaker 1: a list of three things that you have a expertise

1182
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 1: in but no passion for. So for me, I give

1183
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 1: the example of Microsoft Excel in numbers. I'm okay at it,

1184
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 1: but I don't enjoy it, like I don't have a

1185
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:25,480
Speaker 1: passion for it. Right, So write down three things in there.

1186
00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 1: Then the next box that I want you to fill

1187
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 1: out is ask yourself, what do I have no expertise

1188
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: in but I have a deep passion for. So for me,

1189
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 1: it's neuroscience. I am not an expert in neuroscience. I

1190
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 1: couldn't perform brain surgery on anyone, and I couldn't scan

1191
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 1: anyone's brain, but I'm super passionate about it. I love

1192
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 1: reading about it. I love speaking to neuroscientists. It's something

1193
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 1: for me. Social media used to be in that category

1194
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: for me, once upon a time. Social media is something

1195
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,439
Speaker 1: I wasn't an expert in or didn't know much about,

1196
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 1: but I was passionate about learning how to communicate. Then

1197
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 1: the third box things that you're not tease and no passion.

1198
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 1: What are those things in your life that you're like, Oh,

1199
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 1: don't like them, not good at them? Right? Maybe doing

1200
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: your taxes, I don't know whatever, right, like pretty much

1201
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 1: everything everything else, everything else. Yeah, And then the fourth

1202
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:15,800
Speaker 1: and final boxes, what are you passionate about? And what

1203
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 1: are you an expert? And that's the box that you're

1204
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 1: trying to find. So that box may be empty right now.

1205
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: This is the thinking of so do that reflection experts.

1206
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 1: The reason why it's so important is because most of us,

1207
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 1: first of all, don't even know what expertise is and

1208
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: a passion is. And now when I say passion, I'm

1209
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 1: not just saying find your passion, I'm saying what do

1210
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 1: you like doing? What do you get joy from reading about? What?

1211
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 1: Even if you're watching a TV show? What is it

1212
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 1: about that TV show that keeps you captivated? Well, when

1213
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 1: you listen to this podcast, what part about it? Which

1214
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 1: person stands out to you? It's you having to read

1215
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 1: in to every part of your It's like, start with

1216
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 1: something as simple as what's your favorite cuisine? Most people go,

1217
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 1: I don't know what my favorite cuisine is? Well, think

1218
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: about the last time you walked out of a meal.

1219
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,760
Speaker 1: You were happy when you ordered it, you're happy when

1220
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 1: you ate it, and you're happy the next morning. That's

1221
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:02,000
Speaker 1: probably your favorite quisine. Try and find those patterns in

1222
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 1: your life, because all of us have a karmic pattern

1223
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 1: in our life that we've just not zoned into. So

1224
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 1: I'll give you another example. Let's look at the pattern

1225
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:15,000
Speaker 1: of the best decisions you've made. If you looked at

1226
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 1: the best decisions you made in the last decade, and

1227
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 1: let's say you pick three right, Three is a pattern?

1228
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 1: For me, That's where I'm gonna I'm making that up.

1229
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:25,920
Speaker 1: It's totally my choice. It's subjective, but it's my opinion.

1230
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 1: Three things are a pattern. Look at the three decisions

1231
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:30,960
Speaker 1: you made in your life where you knew it was

1232
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 1: the best decision when you made it, not when you've

1233
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 1: got the best result, but you knew it even before

1234
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 1: the result happened, that you made the best decision. I

1235
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 1: guarantee you, if you reflect on those three decisions in

1236
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 1: the last decade, you will find the same parameters, the

1237
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:50,360
Speaker 1: same environment, and the same decision making thoughts and thought

1238
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 1: process that got you to your best decision. So I'll

1239
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 1: give an example. When I decided to become a monk,

1240
01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 1: I believe that was my best decision when I made

1241
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: it not because one day I'd be able to write

1242
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 1: a book about it, Because no idea or I'd even

1243
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: be here. So I was going against the grain. No

1244
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 1: one agreed with me, and most people thought it was

1245
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: the worst idea. When I left being a monk, I

1246
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 1: was going against the grain because most amongst I joined

1247
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 1: with status monks. No one agreed with me, and I

1248
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,280
Speaker 1: was completely solved that I was doing the right thing

1249
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 1: for me. When I quit my safe corporate job to

1250
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 1: do what I do now, I was going against the

1251
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 1: grain because most of my friends were happy with their salaries.

1252
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:29,520
Speaker 1: I was doing something that felt really right to me,

1253
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 1: and no one agreed with me, And so I found

1254
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 1: that that's generally the pattern of my life. My best

1255
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 1: decisions are those three things now that may not be

1256
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 1: for you. Your best decisions may be the opposite, So

1257
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 1: that reflection is really important. Second half action. Take the

1258
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:47,000
Speaker 1: next month, Take the next thirty days, and every weekend

1259
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 1: plan a new activity, workshop, seminar, course, book, podcast, to

1260
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:56,400
Speaker 1: listen to, person to shadow, person to experience with. Take

1261
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 1: a Saturday and Sunday and try it out. You've got

1262
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 1: eight things you can now test. There are eight days,

1263
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 1: eight weekends in a month roughly test something new on

1264
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 1: each of those, going actually do something. So this is

1265
01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:10,120
Speaker 1: no more thinking, no more reflecting. If you want to

1266
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:11,240
Speaker 1: be a chef, where you think you want to be

1267
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,480
Speaker 1: a chef, go and do a cooking class. See how

1268
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 1: naturally it was for you. See how much fun you

1269
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:18,240
Speaker 1: had doing the process. Take eight different things and try

1270
01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 1: them out. When you do both of those together, within

1271
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 1: thirty days, you could figure out what you genuinely are

1272
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:26,720
Speaker 1: passionate about as a starting point. That may change, it

1273
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:29,120
Speaker 1: may evolve, but at least you've got somewhere to start.

1274
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: And the biggest mistake is we're sitting there doing a

1275
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 1: personality test trying to figure out what our passion is.

1276
01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 1: Obviously you're not going to know right. A lot of

1277
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:40,640
Speaker 1: it goes back to if you could just live in

1278
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 1: the mindset of the child within, like what did you

1279
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 1: what were the choices that you made when you were

1280
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 1: a kid about what you like to spend time doing.

1281
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 1: I think that's also a good place to say. I agree,

1282
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:54,840
Speaker 1: and I think those are really powerful exercises. The expertise

1283
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 1: piece can come later. Yeah, it's not about that at

1284
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:01,800
Speaker 1: that moment. Absolutely, and more you engage with those activities

1285
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 1: that you naturally enjoy. You're creating opportunities, You're creating an

1286
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 1: environment in which opportunities can come later. To further explore that,

1287
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: there's a difference between a lack of expertise and inexperience. Right,

1288
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 1: we think we lack expertise in something, but actually we're

1289
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 1: just inexperienced at it. And that's the point of that

1290
01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:27,480
Speaker 1: second element of you don't have to be the best

1291
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 1: at something when you start doing it, but as soon

1292
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:31,120
Speaker 1: as you start doing it, you've now given yourself that

1293
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 1: opportunity to grow. And I think we all know this.

1294
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:37,560
Speaker 1: There's always something we've all learned and become better at it.

1295
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 1: But if you're fascinated by you're probably more likely to

1296
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:42,960
Speaker 1: invest more time, right, And so yeah, don't but it

1297
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:45,360
Speaker 1: is also important. There may be things in your life

1298
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:47,200
Speaker 1: that you have an expertise in but you don't have

1299
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 1: a passion in. But then ask yourself the question why

1300
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:53,360
Speaker 1: don't I have a passion here? Because you could add

1301
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:56,360
Speaker 1: meaning to it, Like there are so many skills that

1302
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,280
Speaker 1: we have that if you added a bit of meaning,

1303
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 1: you added some purpose to it, you added why you

1304
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 1: are doing it, you could actually find a great use

1305
01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:04,720
Speaker 1: for it, and I think a lot of us are

1306
01:04:04,800 --> 01:04:10,320
Speaker 1: underestimating how powerful expertise is. You may have strengths that

1307
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:13,400
Speaker 1: it's just underutilized by your current job, but actually it

1308
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:16,400
Speaker 1: could be really well utilized by someone that you felt

1309
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 1: activated you. Essentially, everything that you're saying are tools for

1310
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:26,240
Speaker 1: greater self awareness. So when you say, when I made

1311
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:28,040
Speaker 1: this decision to go be a monk, I knew in

1312
01:04:28,080 --> 01:04:32,280
Speaker 1: my heart it was the right decision for me despite externality.

1313
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 1: Same thing when you made the decision to leave. But

1314
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 1: you're somebody who had spent an inordinate amount of time

1315
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:42,240
Speaker 1: developing your self awareness. You're a very integrated person because

1316
01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:45,080
Speaker 1: of all the inside work that you've done to get

1317
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 1: to a place where you not only are in tune

1318
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:53,440
Speaker 1: with your instincts, you're able to rely upon them, you

1319
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:55,200
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And I think most people are

1320
01:04:55,240 --> 01:05:00,400
Speaker 1: so disconnected from themselves and either lack adequate self awareness

1321
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:03,800
Speaker 1: or are just living their lives so reactively that their

1322
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: impulses or their instincts are either unheard or entirely unreliable.

1323
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 1: And I think that people make decisions and set goals

1324
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 1: for themselves in that state that lead them terribly awry.

1325
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:19,400
Speaker 1: But intuition is a muscle that everyone can build, right,

1326
01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 1: it really is. I really believe that. There's a study

1327
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:23,160
Speaker 1: that I mentioned and Think like a monk where I

1328
01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:25,320
Speaker 1: talk about how men and women are asked to be

1329
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:28,200
Speaker 1: alone with their thoughts for fifteen minutes or give themselves

1330
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 1: an electric shock. Thirty percent of women chose an electric

1331
01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 1: shock and sixty percent of men chose an electric shock

1332
01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:37,400
Speaker 1: because they didn't want to be alone with their thoughts

1333
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:40,200
Speaker 1: for fifteen minutes. Now here's the root of all human suffering. Yeah,

1334
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:47,000
Speaker 1: now here's the thing. That Intuition comes from asking yourself questions,

1335
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:50,720
Speaker 1: basic questions, simple questions, just as it would getting to

1336
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:54,000
Speaker 1: know Rich. Getting to know Jay is the same process.

1337
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 1: After I eat something, did I like that? Did I

1338
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,320
Speaker 1: not like it? The next morning? Did I like that?

1339
01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:00,080
Speaker 1: Did I not like it? When you ask people what

1340
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 1: are your favorite movies? You know how you feel when

1341
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:04,680
Speaker 1: you walk outside a movie. You don't need to do

1342
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 1: a personality test. You don't need to do three months

1343
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 1: away in Costa Ricaller. You don't need to do that

1344
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:13,480
Speaker 1: to know whether you like something or you don't like something.

1345
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:16,960
Speaker 1: You can do a sense check with yourself every single

1346
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:19,840
Speaker 1: day after doing an activity, and if you literally after

1347
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:23,760
Speaker 1: you did anything anything you do, stop and just ask yourself,

1348
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,400
Speaker 1: did I enjoy that? Yes or no? Simple question. So

1349
01:06:27,560 --> 01:06:30,440
Speaker 1: let's say I say yes, what did you enjoy about it?

1350
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:33,080
Speaker 1: Let's have that conversation. What did I enjoy about it?

1351
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 1: What part of it was uncomfortable but you still got

1352
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:39,640
Speaker 1: excited about it? These are three simple questions that can

1353
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:42,560
Speaker 1: lead you to greater self awareness. I've done the same

1354
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 1: with every area of my life, and you should really

1355
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 1: become like an encyclopedia in your own life. Like if

1356
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:48,680
Speaker 1: someone goes to me, what's your favorite movie, It's like,

1357
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 1: I am a big fan of thrillers. My favorite director

1358
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 1: and producer of all time is Christopher Nolan. My favorite

1359
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 1: movies A Memento, The Prestige, Inception, Interstellar, and The Downright Trilogy.

1360
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 1: They're all Christopher Nolan movies. It's there's such a pattern

1361
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 1: in our lives, and everyone has that pattern. We just

1362
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:09,640
Speaker 1: have to look beyond the debris that's all there, of

1363
01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:13,160
Speaker 1: the noise and the dirt that's stopping us because there's

1364
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 1: just so much distraction. But that practice of self inquiry

1365
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:23,000
Speaker 1: is really the definition of leading an examined life. Yes, exactly,

1366
01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:24,880
Speaker 1: And that's all we have to do that. We just

1367
01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:28,800
Speaker 1: have to ask ourselves questions. The problem is we are

1368
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:36,160
Speaker 1: demanding the answer from our partners, the universe, our teachers, people.

1369
01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:38,560
Speaker 1: We demand, we go, why is this happening to me?

1370
01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 1: What's the meaning of this? That's not a question, that's

1371
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 1: a demand, and a question is a genuine heartfelt request.

1372
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 1: A question is do I like this? Like? That's a

1373
01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:57,560
Speaker 1: question is soft and powerful. A question is not loud

1374
01:07:57,600 --> 01:08:01,560
Speaker 1: and weak. And our questions are actually demands, and that's

1375
01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:04,200
Speaker 1: why we don't find the answers well. Their demands be

1376
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:08,920
Speaker 1: also because they're they're foisted outward. Yes, if they're turned inward,

1377
01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 1: the questions become, you know what, what what is? You know,

1378
01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:14,960
Speaker 1: what is the fear that compelled me to do that? Like?

1379
01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:18,160
Speaker 1: What what childhood wound am I trying to solve by

1380
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:22,280
Speaker 1: you know, having this exchange with this person or making

1381
01:08:22,400 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 1: decision X, Y or z exactly, And that's exactly it.

1382
01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:29,280
Speaker 1: Demands are outwards, questions are inwards. It's beautiful, absolutely, that's it.

1383
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:34,760
Speaker 1: So you spend three years in the ashram, and you emerge,

1384
01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:37,360
Speaker 1: you make this decision to return. First of all like,

1385
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:39,960
Speaker 1: you know, what, was there a sense at some point

1386
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:42,439
Speaker 1: that you were going to always stay there? And if so,

1387
01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:45,240
Speaker 1: what changed? Yeah? So my my dream was that I

1388
01:08:45,240 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 1: would do it for the rest of my life, and

1389
01:08:47,240 --> 01:08:49,479
Speaker 1: I believe that as a monk, I'd be able to

1390
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:52,840
Speaker 1: write and teach and share and hopefully be able to

1391
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:55,240
Speaker 1: share that message anywhere and everywhere and where the where

1392
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:58,200
Speaker 1: are your parents at this point? What do you mean intends?

1393
01:08:58,520 --> 01:09:02,640
Speaker 1: How are they processing? So? I've always described my parents

1394
01:09:02,439 --> 01:09:06,280
Speaker 1: as very neutral. They've been neutral participants in a beautiful way,

1395
01:09:06,360 --> 01:09:08,320
Speaker 1: and I mean they're a good way. I love my parents.

1396
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 1: They've they've never been overly pushy, and they've never been

1397
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:15,760
Speaker 1: overly encouraging. They kind of always been neutral. It's a

1398
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 1: really weird situation to be in. So my parents don't

1399
01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:21,719
Speaker 1: massively celebrate everything I do, but they don't get upset

1400
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:24,280
Speaker 1: when things don't go the way they thought it would.

1401
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:26,439
Speaker 1: So your mom's not asking you when you're going to

1402
01:09:26,479 --> 01:09:28,559
Speaker 1: go to medical school stuff? No, no, No, he knew

1403
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:31,080
Speaker 1: I wouldn't get in. You know, I didn't go to

1404
01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:33,400
Speaker 1: my graduation ceremony, so I never got that picture of

1405
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,880
Speaker 1: me holding the I graduates, but never got the picture,

1406
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:39,040
Speaker 1: and so my parents really gave up on me. Maybe no,

1407
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:40,960
Speaker 1: they you know, they gave in to me at that

1408
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:42,680
Speaker 1: time when I decided to make this decision, and then

1409
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:45,280
Speaker 1: they were open to whatever happened. And I wanted to

1410
01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:46,240
Speaker 1: do it for the thirst of my life. And then

1411
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:49,800
Speaker 1: two things happened. One was I was really pushing it

1412
01:09:49,880 --> 01:09:54,760
Speaker 1: and really testing myself physically, and I could see that

1413
01:09:54,840 --> 01:09:57,400
Speaker 1: my health was was stumbling from it because I was

1414
01:09:57,479 --> 01:09:59,920
Speaker 1: just like trying to do all the fasts and meditating

1415
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:04,760
Speaker 1: for longer, and my almost competitive ego and also competition

1416
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:07,800
Speaker 1: with myself mindset constantly wanted to test. And at the

1417
01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:11,640
Speaker 1: same time I started to feel like and this was

1418
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:14,040
Speaker 1: really tough, like to admit it, and I don't think

1419
01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:16,760
Speaker 1: I admitted it then, and it's only happened afterwards. I

1420
01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,240
Speaker 1: think that my meditation and self awareness got me to

1421
01:10:19,280 --> 01:10:21,720
Speaker 1: a point where I realized I wasn't a monk in

1422
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:24,080
Speaker 1: the sense of that that wasn't my path. That I

1423
01:10:24,200 --> 01:10:29,160
Speaker 1: felt that I wanted to share wisdom in a certain way,

1424
01:10:29,200 --> 01:10:31,599
Speaker 1: that I wanted to serve people in a certain way,

1425
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:33,839
Speaker 1: and a big part of me felt that that wouldn't

1426
01:10:33,880 --> 01:10:36,519
Speaker 1: be realized through that lifestyle. And that doesn't mean that

1427
01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:38,880
Speaker 1: I knew that one day we'd have billions of views

1428
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,439
Speaker 1: or that, you know, all that kind of stuff. Like

1429
01:10:40,479 --> 01:10:43,439
Speaker 1: it wasn't It wasn't like numbers, and it wasn't fame.

1430
01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:45,680
Speaker 1: It was just like, I feel this deep calling to

1431
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:48,679
Speaker 1: be with people and serving this way and share wisdom

1432
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,000
Speaker 1: in this way and teaching this way, and talk about

1433
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:52,600
Speaker 1: movies in the way I talk, and I wanted to

1434
01:10:52,600 --> 01:10:54,519
Speaker 1: be immersed in mainstream culture. And as a monk, I

1435
01:10:54,560 --> 01:10:56,680
Speaker 1: didn't even know who won the World Cup that year,

1436
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:59,439
Speaker 1: like I didn't, I had no idea, and so that

1437
01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:01,479
Speaker 1: was a big part of it. And then my teachers also,

1438
01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:04,800
Speaker 1: I think, started to see that I definitely consider myself

1439
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:06,439
Speaker 1: a rebel, and I think becoming a monk is one

1440
01:11:06,439 --> 01:11:08,720
Speaker 1: of the most rebellious things you can do because it's

1441
01:11:08,760 --> 01:11:11,680
Speaker 1: totally anti society. But I think they could see that

1442
01:11:11,760 --> 01:11:16,240
Speaker 1: rebelliousness in me, and they could see that I wouldn't

1443
01:11:16,280 --> 01:11:20,240
Speaker 1: necessarily last with that mentality as a monk. I think

1444
01:11:20,240 --> 01:11:23,519
Speaker 1: as a monk it comes with sacred, sacred commitment. It's

1445
01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:25,639
Speaker 1: a sacred commitment to what you're doing. And I think

1446
01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:28,920
Speaker 1: I realized and they realized around the same time that

1447
01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:31,240
Speaker 1: it wasn't like that, and I didn't realize that at

1448
01:11:31,240 --> 01:11:33,240
Speaker 1: the time. I realized in hindsight, And so when my

1449
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:34,880
Speaker 1: teacher said to me that he felt that I should

1450
01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:37,599
Speaker 1: leave so I can share what I've learned, at that time,

1451
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:40,080
Speaker 1: I hadn't yet admitted to myself that I even knew

1452
01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:42,040
Speaker 1: what I would do, and said that really felt like

1453
01:11:42,439 --> 01:11:44,439
Speaker 1: a breakup. It really felt like he was like, you know,

1454
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:46,719
Speaker 1: it's not you, it's me. It's kind of like also

1455
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:52,680
Speaker 1: a breakup, right, less relief, more like he was condescending

1456
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:55,240
Speaker 1: to you. Correct like, because I hadn't yet admitted it

1457
01:11:55,280 --> 01:11:58,000
Speaker 1: to myself, it felt like I had failed. And I

1458
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:00,320
Speaker 1: think that's why what failure actually feels like when you

1459
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:02,920
Speaker 1: haven't admitted something to yourself is it feels like failure.

1460
01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:04,720
Speaker 1: Whereas now I look back and I go, wow, I

1461
01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:07,040
Speaker 1: should have felt relieved. I should have felt like someone

1462
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:09,800
Speaker 1: just opened up a gateway for me to go off

1463
01:12:09,840 --> 01:12:12,960
Speaker 1: and be myself. And I didn't know that then. Yeah,

1464
01:12:13,040 --> 01:12:15,160
Speaker 1: So when I left, I was probably in the most

1465
01:12:15,160 --> 01:12:17,599
Speaker 1: depressed day of my life. I moved back in my parents,

1466
01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 1: everyone around me now saying we told you so, you

1467
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:23,040
Speaker 1: wouldn't make it like and then you know what is

1468
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:25,439
Speaker 1: making it deciding to spend your entire life and that

1469
01:12:25,760 --> 01:12:27,720
Speaker 1: what I think. No one knows what made it mean

1470
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,680
Speaker 1: for me, but it's it's what I mean is it's

1471
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:32,280
Speaker 1: that perspective of like, oh, you couldn't even live as

1472
01:12:32,280 --> 01:12:34,080
Speaker 1: a monk, like why would you come back? Or like,

1473
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:36,200
Speaker 1: oh no, who's going to hire you now? And I

1474
01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:38,519
Speaker 1: heard that over and over again, like how are you

1475
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:40,759
Speaker 1: going to make money? Who's going to hire you, who's

1476
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:42,160
Speaker 1: going to talk to you? Like will you be able

1477
01:12:42,160 --> 01:12:45,360
Speaker 1: to reintegrate? And it was hard, like hearing that noise

1478
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:47,240
Speaker 1: as soon as you come back, rather than like, oh,

1479
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:48,680
Speaker 1: we so have it every like. It wasn't like a

1480
01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:51,040
Speaker 1: welcoming party. And that's what my parents. My parents were

1481
01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:54,120
Speaker 1: very supportive. I'm talking about the external Yeah noways, yeah,

1482
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:56,559
Speaker 1: I got it. But you emerged from that experience with

1483
01:12:56,600 --> 01:13:00,879
Speaker 1: a very powerful tool box, and it's one thing to

1484
01:13:01,360 --> 01:13:05,680
Speaker 1: implement or practice those tools in the construct of a

1485
01:13:05,800 --> 01:13:09,920
Speaker 1: very controlled environment at the Ashram, versus trying to take

1486
01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:13,840
Speaker 1: them into the chaos of the world. Yeah. Absolutely, So

1487
01:13:13,880 --> 01:13:17,000
Speaker 1: what was that re emergence process like and how do

1488
01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:21,360
Speaker 1: you think about the applicability of that timeless wisdom and

1489
01:13:21,520 --> 01:13:25,400
Speaker 1: that toolbox in terms of how we navigate the you know,

1490
01:13:25,520 --> 01:13:29,120
Speaker 1: vicissitudes of the modern age. Well, I even foold myself

1491
01:13:29,240 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 1: that the tools I'd learned were non transferable. So in

1492
01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:35,800
Speaker 1: the in the in the immediate moment, even I, even

1493
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:40,639
Speaker 1: after having all that trade is useless. I was just like, great,

1494
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:42,720
Speaker 1: like what do I do now? And and and it

1495
01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:46,879
Speaker 1: came from again the noise because I applied to forty companies.

1496
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:49,160
Speaker 1: And when I say forty companies, I mean I send

1497
01:13:49,160 --> 01:13:54,479
Speaker 1: them all specific tailored resumes and cover letters. And I

1498
01:13:54,520 --> 01:13:57,920
Speaker 1: got rejected from all forty before into ad agencies. And

1499
01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:01,160
Speaker 1: I'm talking about entrustment banks doing it. Yeah, investment banks,

1500
01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:05,960
Speaker 1: financial institutions, consulting firms, strategy, that's just the universe doing

1501
01:14:05,960 --> 01:14:08,599
Speaker 1: you a favor. True, But I didn't know that then.

1502
01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:09,920
Speaker 1: Like you know, I was like, I can't rely on

1503
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:12,800
Speaker 1: my parents forever. And my parents are not financially well

1504
01:14:12,840 --> 01:14:14,800
Speaker 1: off or you know, so I can't just leach off

1505
01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:16,320
Speaker 1: of them, and I need to figure out how to

1506
01:14:16,320 --> 01:14:18,840
Speaker 1: make money. I'm twenty six years old, and what am

1507
01:14:18,840 --> 01:14:20,200
Speaker 1: I going to do? So I was applying to companies

1508
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:22,040
Speaker 1: that would have given me a job three years before,

1509
01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:25,880
Speaker 1: and I'm struggling and I'm getting all these nose and

1510
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:28,320
Speaker 1: you know, when you're seeing rejection after rejection after rejection,

1511
01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:31,559
Speaker 1: you really start to question what you have. But I

1512
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:34,559
Speaker 1: realized that those three years, and I describe it this

1513
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:36,799
Speaker 1: way and the way you said that the three years

1514
01:14:37,320 --> 01:14:40,320
Speaker 1: being a monk were being at school, and the last

1515
01:14:40,360 --> 01:14:42,880
Speaker 1: seven years since I've left have been the exam. And

1516
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:45,640
Speaker 1: I can genuinely say so far that every tool that

1517
01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:49,559
Speaker 1: I have tested from my monk talk, it works. And

1518
01:14:49,760 --> 01:14:52,879
Speaker 1: the biggest one, or most most likely the most powerful

1519
01:14:52,880 --> 01:14:55,080
Speaker 1: one that I've felt is there's a beautiful verse in

1520
01:14:55,120 --> 01:14:58,040
Speaker 1: the Monu Smithee I talk about in the book, and

1521
01:14:58,200 --> 01:15:03,360
Speaker 1: it says that when you protect your purpose, your purpose

1522
01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:05,760
Speaker 1: protects you. And what I mean by that, and I

1523
01:15:05,840 --> 01:15:08,080
Speaker 1: will broaden purpose to mean what it needs to mean

1524
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:14,120
Speaker 1: for anyone listening. You have to protect your strengths, your calling,

1525
01:15:14,200 --> 01:15:16,719
Speaker 1: your passions, your interests, your skills. You have to protect

1526
01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:20,160
Speaker 1: them like a precious jewel, because the whole world will

1527
01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:22,599
Speaker 1: come at you and tell you that it's not a jewel.

1528
01:15:22,640 --> 01:15:24,200
Speaker 1: The whole world will come at you and tell you

1529
01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:27,679
Speaker 1: that it's worth nothing. And if you don't protect it.

1530
01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:30,920
Speaker 1: It can't protect your value back. And most of us,

1531
01:15:31,000 --> 01:15:32,920
Speaker 1: as soon as we get questions, we just chuck the

1532
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:36,120
Speaker 1: jewel out. We just chuck it away and we go, oh, yeah,

1533
01:15:36,160 --> 01:15:38,880
Speaker 1: that wasn't worth anything. And then later on in life

1534
01:15:38,880 --> 01:15:41,320
Speaker 1: you realize you threw away a precious jewel. So I

1535
01:15:41,360 --> 01:15:44,000
Speaker 1: love that verse because that's what I was being tested

1536
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:46,599
Speaker 1: to do. Is I was about to go sell myself sure,

1537
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:48,840
Speaker 1: and just go back into the world that I came

1538
01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:51,599
Speaker 1: from and just chuck out that jewel rather than like, hey,

1539
01:15:51,640 --> 01:15:53,360
Speaker 1: I learned all these things I wanted to serve. I

1540
01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:55,840
Speaker 1: became a monk because I wanted to serve. How can

1541
01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:57,960
Speaker 1: I still serve? How can I not just throw that

1542
01:15:58,000 --> 01:16:00,240
Speaker 1: all out and pretend that it doesn't matter, And how

1543
01:16:00,240 --> 01:16:03,240
Speaker 1: can I apply the discipline and the mentality and all

1544
01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:06,280
Speaker 1: of the great skills because guess what, when, surprise, surprise,

1545
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:08,000
Speaker 1: no one wants to hire someone with monk on their

1546
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:11,759
Speaker 1: resume for three years. And that's what I had because

1547
01:16:11,760 --> 01:16:14,800
Speaker 1: they couldn't see the transferable skills. I had to see them.

1548
01:16:14,920 --> 01:16:16,439
Speaker 1: So they were thinking, oh, he's probably just going to

1549
01:16:16,479 --> 01:16:18,360
Speaker 1: be really quiet in the office, right, Like, what is

1550
01:16:18,360 --> 01:16:20,599
Speaker 1: he going to do? But I knew that that choir

1551
01:16:21,280 --> 01:16:25,240
Speaker 1: was intuition. I knew that that choir was solitude, not loneliness.

1552
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:28,719
Speaker 1: I knew that that quiet was the power, that ability

1553
01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:32,360
Speaker 1: to read things, reading between the lines, to connect with people.

1554
01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:35,759
Speaker 1: And so I ended up still getting a job at Accenture.

1555
01:16:36,240 --> 01:16:38,599
Speaker 1: That's the first thing I did was it came about

1556
01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:41,400
Speaker 1: nine months, ten months after I had left the Ushram.

1557
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:43,639
Speaker 1: For ten months, I spent every day in the library

1558
01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:48,120
Speaker 1: reading spiritual book, spiritual text like The bugget Eater, and

1559
01:16:48,160 --> 01:16:51,519
Speaker 1: then reading self development books and business books and trying

1560
01:16:51,520 --> 01:16:54,360
Speaker 1: to reintegrate. So it spent I spent about ten months

1561
01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:58,320
Speaker 1: literally reintegrating. And then when I get my job, I

1562
01:16:58,360 --> 01:17:01,240
Speaker 1: remember they did an induction day. And you know at

1563
01:17:01,439 --> 01:17:03,639
Speaker 1: these big companies, they have these induction days where they

1564
01:17:03,640 --> 01:17:05,720
Speaker 1: try and do team bonding. So my first day of

1565
01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:10,479
Speaker 1: work was a pizza making class with all a hundred

1566
01:17:11,080 --> 01:17:13,640
Speaker 1: graduates who had also been hired by the company. So

1567
01:17:13,680 --> 01:17:17,320
Speaker 1: I turned up at this pizza making class and I'm

1568
01:17:17,360 --> 01:17:19,200
Speaker 1: just like, what am I can I do? Like, I

1569
01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:21,240
Speaker 1: don't drink alcohol. I've never gone back to drinking, so

1570
01:17:21,200 --> 01:17:24,080
Speaker 1: I still don't drink. I was like, Oh, I don't

1571
01:17:24,080 --> 01:17:25,240
Speaker 1: know if I'm going to be able to eat half

1572
01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:27,519
Speaker 1: the pizzas that we make, and how am I going

1573
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:29,760
Speaker 1: to engage and how do I talk to people? And

1574
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:34,360
Speaker 1: I remember being really uncomfortable that day because I was

1575
01:17:35,080 --> 01:17:37,280
Speaker 1: having to decide again who I was going to be

1576
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:39,559
Speaker 1: in a world that I knew who I would have

1577
01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:42,920
Speaker 1: been before and now with everything else I learned. So

1578
01:17:42,920 --> 01:17:45,439
Speaker 1: I remember just finding one or two people having a

1579
01:17:45,439 --> 01:17:48,639
Speaker 1: really deep, meaningful conversation with them, and I found my people,

1580
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:50,439
Speaker 1: and I found a smaller group, whereas I think if

1581
01:17:50,479 --> 01:17:52,240
Speaker 1: I'd gone before, I would have been the loudest person

1582
01:17:52,280 --> 01:17:54,639
Speaker 1: in the room and networking I was. I was totally different.

1583
01:17:54,680 --> 01:17:57,160
Speaker 1: And I'm still really close friends with one of the

1584
01:17:57,240 --> 01:17:59,040
Speaker 1: guys that I met that day, and I love it.

1585
01:17:59,080 --> 01:18:02,320
Speaker 1: You know, it's been it was. Accenture was an amazing experience.

1586
01:18:02,600 --> 01:18:06,160
Speaker 1: So at Accenture your job was it originally or did

1587
01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:08,400
Speaker 1: you morph into this role as kind of the social

1588
01:18:08,479 --> 01:18:11,080
Speaker 1: media person there? Yeah, I don't really understand how that

1589
01:18:11,200 --> 01:18:13,680
Speaker 1: what happened? So I started out as as an as

1590
01:18:13,720 --> 01:18:15,960
Speaker 1: an average analyst. I had the company where you just

1591
01:18:16,040 --> 01:18:19,800
Speaker 1: get a typical job, correct, correct, And what happened is

1592
01:18:19,840 --> 01:18:23,080
Speaker 1: that in our first year they ran a competition where

1593
01:18:23,120 --> 01:18:24,760
Speaker 1: they were going to choose a group of people to

1594
01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:28,120
Speaker 1: be trained by some social media experts that they were

1595
01:18:28,160 --> 01:18:31,160
Speaker 1: working with to try and build the social media and

1596
01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:34,240
Speaker 1: digital department inside the company, because that was new then.

1597
01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:36,000
Speaker 1: It was like a big, big area of growth at

1598
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:39,360
Speaker 1: that time. And so thankfully I got into the twenty

1599
01:18:39,400 --> 01:18:43,080
Speaker 1: in the competition, and then I came out number one

1600
01:18:43,120 --> 01:18:45,479
Speaker 1: in the full competition and one, and so I got

1601
01:18:45,479 --> 01:18:48,720
Speaker 1: this coaching. And this coach not only became a coach

1602
01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:50,719
Speaker 1: from a professional standardpoint, he became one of my closest

1603
01:18:50,720 --> 01:18:54,519
Speaker 1: friends names Thomas Power. He lives in London, and he

1604
01:18:54,760 --> 01:18:58,439
Speaker 1: just I don't think he taught me everything about social media.

1605
01:18:58,479 --> 01:19:00,240
Speaker 1: I think he really opened in my mind. He would

1606
01:19:00,280 --> 01:19:04,240
Speaker 1: constantly push me to never settle. So if we made

1607
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:06,000
Speaker 1: a breakthrough or something like I got a promotion of

1608
01:19:06,080 --> 01:19:09,240
Speaker 1: the company, he would never see that successful. What's next?

1609
01:19:09,240 --> 01:19:10,760
Speaker 1: What are we going to build? Like? He would just

1610
01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:14,440
Speaker 1: give him gave me this mentality of just growth mindset,

1611
01:19:15,080 --> 01:19:17,719
Speaker 1: believing more was possible, and just being able to apply

1612
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:20,439
Speaker 1: all the tools that I'd learned. And so I end

1613
01:19:20,520 --> 01:19:25,200
Speaker 1: up creating this social media role at Accentia, where I'm

1614
01:19:25,240 --> 01:19:28,040
Speaker 1: creating all of this content. I'm learning how the biggest

1615
01:19:28,040 --> 01:19:30,280
Speaker 1: brands in the world use social media. I'm working with

1616
01:19:30,360 --> 01:19:34,080
Speaker 1: executives on social media presence and understanding Twitter and LinkedIn,

1617
01:19:34,600 --> 01:19:37,280
Speaker 1: and I just get exposed to this incredible world and

1618
01:19:37,320 --> 01:19:39,360
Speaker 1: that's where I get to learn these skills. Right. So

1619
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:43,559
Speaker 1: that's basically, you know, the Ashram for learning how to

1620
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:47,280
Speaker 1: become this social media maven with the unbelievable knack for

1621
01:19:47,439 --> 01:19:49,880
Speaker 1: creating virality. Yeah, and it wasn't that like I never

1622
01:19:49,920 --> 01:19:53,040
Speaker 1: created you know, viral content while I was at Accentia,

1623
01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:55,960
Speaker 1: but it just started opening up my mind to what

1624
01:19:56,080 --> 01:19:58,559
Speaker 1: was possible. Right. It was just like, oh, these are

1625
01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:02,080
Speaker 1: the tools. Feeling comfortable with failure, getting it wrong. It

1626
01:20:02,120 --> 01:20:04,640
Speaker 1: gave me a playground, right, It gave me an opportunity.

1627
01:20:04,640 --> 01:20:07,320
Speaker 1: And this is what anyone who's listening in to this

1628
01:20:07,439 --> 01:20:09,559
Speaker 1: right now, watching this, and you're working at a company,

1629
01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:12,800
Speaker 1: your company is giving you an opportunity to learn, to grow,

1630
01:20:12,880 --> 01:20:16,600
Speaker 1: to test. I learned so much about digital and strategy

1631
01:20:16,680 --> 01:20:19,160
Speaker 1: working at Extension that I could never have got from

1632
01:20:19,200 --> 01:20:21,400
Speaker 1: reading a book or going to a course or a

1633
01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:23,920
Speaker 1: seven because it was there, like I was there with

1634
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:26,599
Speaker 1: it every day with a company that was five hundred

1635
01:20:26,600 --> 01:20:30,360
Speaker 1: thousand people, you know, a global organization. So that's when

1636
01:20:30,800 --> 01:20:33,200
Speaker 1: when I hear that people are dissatisfied with their jobs

1637
01:20:33,200 --> 01:20:35,040
Speaker 1: and their companies. My biggest question is have you learned

1638
01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:38,720
Speaker 1: everything you possibly could from that place, because the truth is,

1639
01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:41,439
Speaker 1: you could find a lot more meaning and passion in

1640
01:20:41,479 --> 01:20:43,960
Speaker 1: a place that you don't want to be in because

1641
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:46,640
Speaker 1: you realize it could be the answer and key to

1642
01:20:46,720 --> 01:20:48,880
Speaker 1: what you could do in the future, and there is

1643
01:20:48,920 --> 01:20:52,000
Speaker 1: so much to gain. Yeah, that's a cool lens. So

1644
01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:56,959
Speaker 1: what's interesting about this is I didn't really fully understand

1645
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,120
Speaker 1: like that you kind of went into this corporate world

1646
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:00,800
Speaker 1: before I thought you kind of we're hired as a

1647
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:03,400
Speaker 1: consultant after you already figured out all this social media

1648
01:21:03,439 --> 01:21:05,639
Speaker 1: stuff and they hired you for that purpose. No, no, no no,

1649
01:21:06,080 --> 01:21:09,200
Speaker 1: So that's fascinating. But what I think is really interesting

1650
01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:13,559
Speaker 1: here is from an outsider's perspective looking in, it would

1651
01:21:13,560 --> 01:21:17,519
Speaker 1: appear that so many of these these you know, timeless

1652
01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:22,719
Speaker 1: wisdom concepts don't square with living in the modern world.

1653
01:21:22,720 --> 01:21:25,160
Speaker 1: Like when we think of detachment, we think of asceticism.

1654
01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:28,120
Speaker 1: When we think of competition, we think of you know,

1655
01:21:28,240 --> 01:21:31,080
Speaker 1: the zero sum game, etc. But I think when you

1656
01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:34,960
Speaker 1: peel back the layers, they're they're they're really highly compatible.

1657
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:37,200
Speaker 1: So I'm interested in kind of exploring. Yeah, that's how

1658
01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:39,559
Speaker 1: you take these ideas into the world and how they

1659
01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:42,799
Speaker 1: that's how they inform and how they inform your decision

1660
01:21:42,840 --> 01:21:46,760
Speaker 1: making and kind of how you you you know, see yourself. Yeah,

1661
01:21:46,800 --> 01:21:50,439
Speaker 1: I love that. And there's a big difference between, especially

1662
01:21:50,439 --> 01:21:51,960
Speaker 1: from the bug with Gita's point of view, but there's

1663
01:21:51,960 --> 01:21:56,479
Speaker 1: a big difference between detachment and indifference. And I think

1664
01:21:56,600 --> 01:22:00,439
Speaker 1: in our limited mindset sometimes we think that detachment means difference,

1665
01:22:00,560 --> 01:22:06,760
Speaker 1: or detachment means disconnecting, and actually detachment means and I

1666
01:22:07,200 --> 01:22:13,240
Speaker 1: quote this incredible writer where he said that detachment doesn't

1667
01:22:13,280 --> 01:22:17,519
Speaker 1: mean that you own nothing. Detachment means that nothing owns you.

1668
01:22:18,240 --> 01:22:20,120
Speaker 1: And when you look at detachment through that lens, it

1669
01:22:20,160 --> 01:22:23,519
Speaker 1: means can I use everything that I have for a

1670
01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:26,720
Speaker 1: higher purpose? Can I use it and engage it rather

1671
01:22:26,760 --> 01:22:28,760
Speaker 1: than be consumed and used by it? Now, granted, that's

1672
01:22:28,760 --> 01:22:30,840
Speaker 1: a very high platform to live on and it's not easy,

1673
01:22:31,200 --> 01:22:34,000
Speaker 1: but the point being that detachment is not indifference, that

1674
01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:36,320
Speaker 1: detachment doesn't just mean, oh I don't want anything to

1675
01:22:36,360 --> 01:22:38,519
Speaker 1: do with this it's actually, how can I use this

1676
01:22:39,120 --> 01:22:41,519
Speaker 1: for more than what it's being used for right now?

1677
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:48,080
Speaker 1: And that's what's known as by Rupagaswami's He quotes about

1678
01:22:48,120 --> 01:22:51,679
Speaker 1: probably about five hundred years ago, he created and coined

1679
01:22:51,680 --> 01:22:55,240
Speaker 1: a term called yukta veriragya, which means using everything for

1680
01:22:55,320 --> 01:22:59,440
Speaker 1: a higher purpose. So he talks about how real renunciation,

1681
01:22:59,640 --> 01:23:03,240
Speaker 1: real detachment, real asceticism is how can I use this

1682
01:23:03,640 --> 01:23:06,160
Speaker 1: for something more than myself and it's not about just

1683
01:23:06,160 --> 01:23:07,760
Speaker 1: getting rid of it? And I love that principle and

1684
01:23:07,760 --> 01:23:11,760
Speaker 1: I think that that's a very that's a very practical

1685
01:23:11,760 --> 01:23:14,679
Speaker 1: principle that we can all employ living in the real world.

1686
01:23:14,800 --> 01:23:17,760
Speaker 1: So for monks, detachment is real. Like we didn't have beds, right,

1687
01:23:17,840 --> 01:23:19,639
Speaker 1: we didn't have a place that we slept. We slept

1688
01:23:19,680 --> 01:23:21,439
Speaker 1: in a different place every night. But if you're not

1689
01:23:21,520 --> 01:23:24,560
Speaker 1: a monk and you want to apply that same principle,

1690
01:23:24,760 --> 01:23:27,360
Speaker 1: this is how you think about it. You recognize that

1691
01:23:27,600 --> 01:23:29,479
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a position where I

1692
01:23:29,520 --> 01:23:34,320
Speaker 1: am consumed by everything. Another addition to detachment is detached

1693
01:23:34,360 --> 01:23:38,320
Speaker 1: from the result, focused on the process. That's another definition

1694
01:23:38,320 --> 01:23:40,240
Speaker 1: in the above good get to that you're not attached

1695
01:23:40,240 --> 01:23:43,440
Speaker 1: to the fruits of your labor, but you're completely committed

1696
01:23:43,640 --> 01:23:47,200
Speaker 1: to the labor, the process itself. And that's something that

1697
01:23:47,240 --> 01:23:49,400
Speaker 1: we miss so often that we think being detached means

1698
01:23:49,439 --> 01:23:52,400
Speaker 1: not caring about what happens. Actually it means caring about

1699
01:23:52,400 --> 01:23:55,400
Speaker 1: the process and not caring about the result. So when

1700
01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:57,479
Speaker 1: we're talking about writing a book, and you know you've

1701
01:23:57,479 --> 01:24:00,679
Speaker 1: written books, and when you're writing a book, if you're

1702
01:24:00,680 --> 01:24:03,240
Speaker 1: writing a book and all you're thinking about is how

1703
01:24:03,280 --> 01:24:06,080
Speaker 1: many copies am I going to sell? Now you're not

1704
01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:08,320
Speaker 1: going to write a good book. Now you're dead out

1705
01:24:08,320 --> 01:24:10,680
Speaker 1: of the gate totally. You're dead straight away because all

1706
01:24:10,680 --> 01:24:12,519
Speaker 1: you're thinking about how many copies am I going to sell?

1707
01:24:12,720 --> 01:24:14,679
Speaker 1: Is this going to rank? If that's what you're thinking about,

1708
01:24:14,680 --> 01:24:16,600
Speaker 1: you're now not present, which means you're not going to

1709
01:24:16,680 --> 01:24:18,040
Speaker 1: write a good job, a good book. Whereas if you

1710
01:24:18,040 --> 01:24:21,479
Speaker 1: would dedicate to the process, the result is a given,

1711
01:24:21,520 --> 01:24:25,320
Speaker 1: the results a natural end. To dedicate to the process,

1712
01:24:25,360 --> 01:24:29,240
Speaker 1: I fully get having a process oriented mindset and approach

1713
01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:32,679
Speaker 1: to everything that I do. On the higher purpose piece,

1714
01:24:33,160 --> 01:24:37,360
Speaker 1: what I find myself doing is deluding myself a little

1715
01:24:37,360 --> 01:24:41,080
Speaker 1: bit sure, treating a little bit of denial. Like perfect example,

1716
01:24:41,520 --> 01:24:44,760
Speaker 1: we're here doing the podcast. Now I can say, and

1717
01:24:44,840 --> 01:24:47,840
Speaker 1: there is a sliver of honesty in this, that I'm

1718
01:24:47,920 --> 01:24:50,040
Speaker 1: doing this for a higher purpose. I am like, when

1719
01:24:50,040 --> 01:24:52,840
Speaker 1: I sit down for these conversations, I'm trying to be

1720
01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:58,280
Speaker 1: as present as possible and you know, deliver the best

1721
01:24:58,520 --> 01:25:01,760
Speaker 1: content that I can in service to the audience. At

1722
01:25:01,760 --> 01:25:05,360
Speaker 1: the same time, I'm profiting off of this, really, and

1723
01:25:05,479 --> 01:25:07,960
Speaker 1: I know that if I grow the audience, that then

1724
01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:11,519
Speaker 1: I can charge more and get more advertised. You know,

1725
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:14,200
Speaker 1: Like sure, there is a very self serving as I

1726
01:25:16,040 --> 01:25:20,040
Speaker 1: and I'm always you know, unsure about how those two

1727
01:25:20,080 --> 01:25:23,200
Speaker 1: worlds like butt up against each other. So intentions are

1728
01:25:23,200 --> 01:25:26,160
Speaker 1: all percentages. So what you just broke down, you may

1729
01:25:26,240 --> 01:25:29,479
Speaker 1: have and this is me everyone included. You may have

1730
01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:33,599
Speaker 1: a fifty percent pure motive and fifty percent impure motive.

1731
01:25:34,080 --> 01:25:36,080
Speaker 1: Or you may have a seventy five percent pure motive

1732
01:25:36,240 --> 01:25:38,720
Speaker 1: and you maybe twenty five percent impure. The point is

1733
01:25:38,720 --> 01:25:42,160
Speaker 1: it's a process of purification. But guess what, running away

1734
01:25:42,200 --> 01:25:47,959
Speaker 1: from it doesn't remove the impure intention doing it, being humbled,

1735
01:25:48,200 --> 01:25:51,960
Speaker 1: seeing it fall apart, failing growing, being told you're terrible,

1736
01:25:51,960 --> 01:25:55,040
Speaker 1: and having to reprocess that. That is what purifies you.

1737
01:25:55,320 --> 01:25:58,599
Speaker 1: So the belief that if I run away from that

1738
01:25:58,680 --> 01:26:01,920
Speaker 1: which brings me down, and you'll run away with it

1739
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:04,640
Speaker 1: like it stays with you because it doesn't become purified.

1740
01:26:04,640 --> 01:26:07,880
Speaker 1: And that's the process of purification. When you look at

1741
01:26:07,880 --> 01:26:11,120
Speaker 1: a muddy glass of water, it needs to be purified

1742
01:26:11,160 --> 01:26:13,320
Speaker 1: to be drinkable, and we're the same. We just get muddy.

1743
01:26:13,360 --> 01:26:15,400
Speaker 1: But with us, what happens is when you're in the world,

1744
01:26:15,680 --> 01:26:17,559
Speaker 1: when you're a monk, you're getting cleansed a lot every

1745
01:26:17,640 --> 01:26:21,040
Speaker 1: day when you're in the world. It's described in India

1746
01:26:21,120 --> 01:26:23,519
Speaker 1: as to a dirty elephant. So the elephant goes and

1747
01:26:23,640 --> 01:26:26,200
Speaker 1: bathes in the water, and then it rolls in the mud,

1748
01:26:26,479 --> 01:26:28,160
Speaker 1: and then it bathes in the water, and it rolls

1749
01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:29,599
Speaker 1: in the mud, and it does this all in So

1750
01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:32,759
Speaker 1: that's what we're doing. When we have impure and pure motives,

1751
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:36,120
Speaker 1: we're doing both. But guess what, when you're aware and

1752
01:26:36,160 --> 01:26:38,080
Speaker 1: you start being honest with yourself and what you just

1753
01:26:38,120 --> 01:26:40,439
Speaker 1: did was beautiful, you're like this, I'm not going to

1754
01:26:40,479 --> 01:26:42,639
Speaker 1: be in denial. I'm not going to let myself delude myself.

1755
01:26:43,120 --> 01:26:45,360
Speaker 1: And what happens with that greater self awareness, you'll get

1756
01:26:45,360 --> 01:26:48,280
Speaker 1: closer and closer and closer to being able to do

1757
01:26:48,400 --> 01:26:51,720
Speaker 1: things with a purer motive. And that may mean at

1758
01:26:51,760 --> 01:26:54,280
Speaker 1: some point that you're like completely going to detach from

1759
01:26:54,600 --> 01:26:57,600
Speaker 1: ads or sponsorships or whatever it may be. But that

1760
01:26:57,640 --> 01:27:00,320
Speaker 1: won't just happen if you stop that. That desired doesn't

1761
01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:03,080
Speaker 1: go away just because you don't externize it. Well, the

1762
01:27:03,160 --> 01:27:07,400
Speaker 1: irony is that the more the more service minded I

1763
01:27:07,439 --> 01:27:10,640
Speaker 1: am and the more pure I am in my approach,

1764
01:27:11,280 --> 01:27:14,120
Speaker 1: the better it all is. And that ends up being

1765
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:17,000
Speaker 1: more enriching to you know what I mean. So you

1766
01:27:17,040 --> 01:27:21,840
Speaker 1: can make the argument that that somebody should be selfless

1767
01:27:22,040 --> 01:27:25,960
Speaker 1: and in service for selfish motives, like you can be

1768
01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:28,320
Speaker 1: like if I if I'm trying to appeal to somebody

1769
01:27:28,360 --> 01:27:32,439
Speaker 1: who is a selfish person, the appeal is, well, if

1770
01:27:32,439 --> 01:27:34,920
Speaker 1: you're in service to people, your life will improve. So

1771
01:27:35,120 --> 01:27:37,400
Speaker 1: even if you're doing it for selfish reasons, it's still

1772
01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:41,040
Speaker 1: the right thing to do. Exactly. That's it, That's exactly.

1773
01:27:41,080 --> 01:27:43,519
Speaker 1: It hit the nail on the head, that's it. Yeah,

1774
01:27:43,520 --> 01:27:45,439
Speaker 1: that's it. And if that's what gets you started, Hey,

1775
01:27:45,479 --> 01:27:47,840
Speaker 1: that's what gets you started. So what trips you up?

1776
01:27:47,920 --> 01:27:50,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, now you're in the world, you're very successful.

1777
01:27:50,360 --> 01:27:52,559
Speaker 1: You've got a million things going on, the books coming out,

1778
01:27:52,640 --> 01:27:55,439
Speaker 1: your videos are you know, you've got billions of views

1779
01:27:55,439 --> 01:27:57,760
Speaker 1: and all this kind of stuff. I would imagine your

1780
01:27:57,840 --> 01:28:02,439
Speaker 1: life is lined with spiritual minefields. That's right. I mean

1781
01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:05,040
Speaker 1: you're being we're all being tested. But you know, what

1782
01:28:05,080 --> 01:28:07,080
Speaker 1: are the tests that you're facing and where do you

1783
01:28:07,080 --> 01:28:10,840
Speaker 1: still find yourself tripping yourself up? What is it that

1784
01:28:10,880 --> 01:28:14,000
Speaker 1: you're continually having to revisit? Well, I think the biggest

1785
01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:17,240
Speaker 1: test is so since I turned eighteen, I've always had

1786
01:28:17,320 --> 01:28:20,439
Speaker 1: my two hour meditation practice a day. And when I

1787
01:28:20,439 --> 01:28:23,320
Speaker 1: was a monk, obviously we did more, but the majority

1788
01:28:23,320 --> 01:28:25,000
Speaker 1: of the quality of it happened in the day in

1789
01:28:25,040 --> 01:28:28,639
Speaker 1: the morning. For me, now with my crazy schedule, one

1790
01:28:28,680 --> 01:28:31,719
Speaker 1: of the biggest things being tested is my routine, my depth,

1791
01:28:31,880 --> 01:28:35,960
Speaker 1: my quality. And you know, in in the modern world

1792
01:28:36,760 --> 01:28:39,400
Speaker 1: people may say, oh, yeah, you meditate for two hours.

1793
01:28:39,880 --> 01:28:42,720
Speaker 1: My monk teachers would say how deep with those two hours? Like,

1794
01:28:42,760 --> 01:28:44,959
Speaker 1: they don't care about the two hours, you know, they

1795
01:28:45,040 --> 01:28:48,280
Speaker 1: talk about depth and quality, not quantity. So for me,

1796
01:28:48,360 --> 01:28:52,760
Speaker 1: the quality and quantity of my meditation is constantly being

1797
01:28:52,800 --> 01:28:56,680
Speaker 1: tested because there are supposedly more important things that I

1798
01:28:56,680 --> 01:28:58,799
Speaker 1: have to do, whether it's social media, whether it's audience,

1799
01:28:58,840 --> 01:29:02,160
Speaker 1: whether it's writing, whether it's doing right instead of being.

1800
01:29:02,640 --> 01:29:05,720
Speaker 1: And so my being is challenged, and that, to me

1801
01:29:05,880 --> 01:29:08,479
Speaker 1: is the biggest thing that I have to watch out

1802
01:29:08,520 --> 01:29:10,879
Speaker 1: for constantly is when I'm traveling, I have to prioritize

1803
01:29:10,920 --> 01:29:13,599
Speaker 1: my routine. When I'm moving around and I'm waking up

1804
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:15,360
Speaker 1: later than I always am, or I'm on a plane

1805
01:29:15,400 --> 01:29:17,680
Speaker 1: for too many hours a day, I can't let go

1806
01:29:17,760 --> 01:29:19,800
Speaker 1: of that. And I think that I'm sharing that as

1807
01:29:19,840 --> 01:29:23,519
Speaker 1: a very real battle right now because that's what I'm

1808
01:29:23,560 --> 01:29:26,200
Speaker 1: grappling with. And so for me, that's that's a big one.

1809
01:29:26,400 --> 01:29:30,400
Speaker 1: And I really think that my meditation is is where

1810
01:29:30,400 --> 01:29:33,280
Speaker 1: the purity comes from. Like that's my bath, that's my

1811
01:29:33,360 --> 01:29:36,000
Speaker 1: purity bath every day, Like you miss your bath, like

1812
01:29:36,040 --> 01:29:38,800
Speaker 1: you'll smell it's the same thing. Well, it's rigged that way.

1813
01:29:38,840 --> 01:29:41,040
Speaker 1: I mean, all this, all the being got you to

1814
01:29:41,080 --> 01:29:44,080
Speaker 1: this place to where now you don't have time for

1815
01:29:44,160 --> 01:29:47,000
Speaker 1: the being because it provided you with so many gifts

1816
01:29:47,040 --> 01:29:51,120
Speaker 1: and opportunities. Correct, And so I'm just very uh I'm

1817
01:29:51,160 --> 01:29:54,120
Speaker 1: I'm saying this as much to answer you a question

1818
01:29:54,160 --> 01:29:56,120
Speaker 1: as I am for my own vigilance. Like the more

1819
01:29:56,160 --> 01:29:58,519
Speaker 1: I say this, the more I verbalize it, the more

1820
01:29:58,600 --> 01:30:00,760
Speaker 1: vigilant I become. Well, God would just tell you to

1821
01:30:00,760 --> 01:30:03,479
Speaker 1: wake up earlier. Yeah, and you know, like, I mean,

1822
01:30:03,760 --> 01:30:06,280
Speaker 1: that's part of it. But I think it depends how

1823
01:30:06,880 --> 01:30:10,000
Speaker 1: and you may find this. I find that mentally creative

1824
01:30:10,960 --> 01:30:16,120
Speaker 1: careers or purposes are different and they require good sleep.

1825
01:30:16,880 --> 01:30:19,479
Speaker 1: And so I'm a big believer. I'm a big believer

1826
01:30:19,560 --> 01:30:21,160
Speaker 1: in eight and a half hours of sleep. I sleep

1827
01:30:21,240 --> 01:30:24,839
Speaker 1: eight and a half hours a day. I'm sleeping before midnight,

1828
01:30:24,960 --> 01:30:28,440
Speaker 1: usually by nine thirty ten PM, to get my HGH

1829
01:30:29,120 --> 01:30:31,160
Speaker 1: to be maximized. And I think people I know a

1830
01:30:31,280 --> 01:30:33,160
Speaker 1: human growth homemone for anyone who doesn't know, but I'm

1831
01:30:33,160 --> 01:30:35,880
Speaker 1: sure your whole audience would know. But sleeping after twelve,

1832
01:30:36,640 --> 01:30:38,720
Speaker 1: your human growth hormone is not having the moment that

1833
01:30:38,760 --> 01:30:41,360
Speaker 1: it could have, and so you're limiting the quality of

1834
01:30:41,360 --> 01:30:43,840
Speaker 1: your sleep when you sleep after midnight. So for me,

1835
01:30:43,880 --> 01:30:46,800
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a big believer in figuring out your routines.

1836
01:30:47,080 --> 01:30:49,240
Speaker 1: So that's one thing. That's one thing that I'm challenged by.

1837
01:30:49,439 --> 01:30:52,840
Speaker 1: Another thing that I'm challenged by is and I'm trying

1838
01:30:52,880 --> 01:30:55,000
Speaker 1: to share. I want to give you real ones that

1839
01:30:55,320 --> 01:30:57,840
Speaker 1: I'm grappling with rather than the obvious easy ones of

1840
01:30:57,960 --> 01:30:59,840
Speaker 1: like oh, there's so many opportunities and what to say

1841
01:30:59,840 --> 01:31:03,280
Speaker 1: no to and stuff like that. But I'd say another

1842
01:31:03,360 --> 01:31:12,080
Speaker 1: one is finding spiritual community. So finding deep community. I

1843
01:31:12,080 --> 01:31:14,360
Speaker 1: think I've been very fortunate. I think La has been

1844
01:31:14,360 --> 01:31:16,519
Speaker 1: good to me and we've made some really amazing friends here.

1845
01:31:16,560 --> 01:31:19,280
Speaker 1: But I think I go back to India every year

1846
01:31:19,880 --> 01:31:21,599
Speaker 1: to live with the monks. I take my wife as well.

1847
01:31:21,640 --> 01:31:24,800
Speaker 1: We go together every year, and that for me is

1848
01:31:24,880 --> 01:31:29,280
Speaker 1: my reconnection to remind me of how important that practice is.

1849
01:31:29,280 --> 01:31:31,280
Speaker 1: Because even while I'm here and I'm like, oh, I'm

1850
01:31:31,280 --> 01:31:33,080
Speaker 1: doing all right. I've been meditating every day, I'm doing good.

1851
01:31:33,120 --> 01:31:34,320
Speaker 1: I'm doing good, and then you go back and go,

1852
01:31:34,439 --> 01:31:37,040
Speaker 1: oh wow, like you know, there's so much more that

1853
01:31:37,080 --> 01:31:40,879
Speaker 1: I've totally missed. So that kind of reawakening and humbling

1854
01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:43,000
Speaker 1: every year is really powerful for me. When you go

1855
01:31:43,040 --> 01:31:45,360
Speaker 1: and meditate with the experts and you're like, oh, okay,

1856
01:31:45,400 --> 01:31:47,000
Speaker 1: I get it. Yep, I've got a lot of work

1857
01:31:47,000 --> 01:31:50,080
Speaker 1: to do. And I think that looking in the mirror,

1858
01:31:50,600 --> 01:31:52,400
Speaker 1: and you can only look in the mirror when you're

1859
01:31:52,400 --> 01:31:55,679
Speaker 1: surrounded by people who are who are practicing with greater depth,

1860
01:31:56,080 --> 01:31:58,240
Speaker 1: and so I think that that's a real challenge as well,

1861
01:31:58,320 --> 01:32:03,840
Speaker 1: of surrounding yourself with people who who are aspiring for

1862
01:32:03,880 --> 01:32:06,719
Speaker 1: the same levels of death right. And it goes back,

1863
01:32:06,840 --> 01:32:10,240
Speaker 1: you know, to kind of reiterate your sliding doors example,

1864
01:32:10,800 --> 01:32:14,280
Speaker 1: to this experience. You had this blessing of being exposed

1865
01:32:14,320 --> 01:32:17,160
Speaker 1: to this monk at an impressionable moment in your life.

1866
01:32:17,240 --> 01:32:19,559
Speaker 1: Like had that not happened, your life would have had

1867
01:32:19,560 --> 01:32:23,880
Speaker 1: a completely different flavor to it totally. And it goes

1868
01:32:23,960 --> 01:32:27,479
Speaker 1: to this point of you know, not only seeking out mentors,

1869
01:32:27,479 --> 01:32:30,400
Speaker 1: but putting yourself in a position where you're exposed to

1870
01:32:30,600 --> 01:32:34,519
Speaker 1: different ideas, right, Like, you can't model or become something

1871
01:32:34,560 --> 01:32:37,280
Speaker 1: that you're not exposed to. Yeah, exactly, no, you can't.

1872
01:32:37,280 --> 01:32:39,920
Speaker 1: And that's the biggest thing, right We've all heard it before.

1873
01:32:39,960 --> 01:32:42,760
Speaker 1: You can't be what you can't see, and I think

1874
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:46,479
Speaker 1: we don't see If we don't see enough of something,

1875
01:32:46,520 --> 01:32:49,560
Speaker 1: you don't realize how important it is. And that's why

1876
01:32:49,640 --> 01:32:53,120
Speaker 1: I mean the biggest, the biggest monk approaches to everything

1877
01:32:53,680 --> 01:32:56,040
Speaker 1: are so powerful. Like we talk about routines. Monks have

1878
01:32:56,080 --> 01:32:59,760
Speaker 1: incredible morning routines, mindfulness and meditation practice is we know

1879
01:32:59,880 --> 01:33:02,200
Speaker 1: that you know some of the most successful people in

1880
01:33:02,240 --> 01:33:04,360
Speaker 1: the world, and you've interviewed some of them, and I've

1881
01:33:04,360 --> 01:33:06,360
Speaker 1: interviewed some of them, and They've all got a deep

1882
01:33:06,400 --> 01:33:10,000
Speaker 1: meditation practice. You know, breathwork is so powerful. Like I'm

1883
01:33:10,200 --> 01:33:13,400
Speaker 1: I'm breaking this all down in the most simplest ways

1884
01:33:13,439 --> 01:33:16,200
Speaker 1: of how even just self and service like that to

1885
01:33:16,360 --> 01:33:18,479
Speaker 1: me as a concept of how monst of their lives

1886
01:33:18,479 --> 01:33:21,280
Speaker 1: of half self half service, like all of those is

1887
01:33:21,360 --> 01:33:27,599
Speaker 1: such brilliant foundation points of how we can construct our

1888
01:33:27,680 --> 01:33:31,439
Speaker 1: lives to find peace and to and to live with purpose,

1889
01:33:31,560 --> 01:33:34,320
Speaker 1: Like there are these simple constructs that we can all adopt.

1890
01:33:35,080 --> 01:33:39,799
Speaker 1: Clarity is a superpower for sure. As said by somebody

1891
01:33:39,920 --> 01:33:42,439
Speaker 1: we both interviewed, you've all know a Harari love you right,

1892
01:33:42,640 --> 01:33:47,120
Speaker 1: who also has a you know, strong meditation. He goes away.

1893
01:33:47,160 --> 01:33:48,880
Speaker 1: I think this year he did or did he do

1894
01:33:48,960 --> 01:33:50,880
Speaker 1: sixty He was telling me we were talking just before

1895
01:33:50,920 --> 01:33:52,920
Speaker 1: and he he told me he used to do sixty

1896
01:33:52,960 --> 01:33:54,679
Speaker 1: days and now because of his busy schedule, he still

1897
01:33:54,720 --> 01:33:57,400
Speaker 1: at thirty days. Yeah, exactly every year. Yeah, And I

1898
01:33:57,439 --> 01:33:59,760
Speaker 1: love that about him, and he will tell you, and

1899
01:33:59,800 --> 01:34:03,360
Speaker 1: I'm sure he told you as well. That his books

1900
01:34:03,360 --> 01:34:07,960
Speaker 1: are a product of that practice, because he requires that

1901
01:34:08,160 --> 01:34:12,920
Speaker 1: level of solitude to develop the clarity that's necessary to

1902
01:34:12,960 --> 01:34:15,879
Speaker 1: write his books, which really are these ten thousand foot

1903
01:34:15,880 --> 01:34:19,880
Speaker 1: perspectives on how we live right. And it's one thing

1904
01:34:19,920 --> 01:34:23,120
Speaker 1: to be on of opossmum meditation or in an ashram

1905
01:34:23,240 --> 01:34:26,320
Speaker 1: where you're stripped away of those distractions, but you know,

1906
01:34:26,400 --> 01:34:30,400
Speaker 1: we live in a world where the noise is overwhelming

1907
01:34:30,520 --> 01:34:35,760
Speaker 1: and the distractions are not only omnipresent, they're they're specifically

1908
01:34:35,800 --> 01:34:39,120
Speaker 1: constructed to be as highly addictive as possible. And this

1909
01:34:39,200 --> 01:34:43,800
Speaker 1: is an interesting dynamic because your work requires you to

1910
01:34:43,960 --> 01:34:48,440
Speaker 1: have distance from those things, but you leverage those mediums

1911
01:34:48,479 --> 01:34:52,080
Speaker 1: to basically, you know, to have this career that you have. Yeah,

1912
01:34:52,320 --> 01:34:55,080
Speaker 1: and I think that it's a It's a beautiful thing

1913
01:34:55,160 --> 01:34:59,479
Speaker 1: because the tools are not going to go away, and

1914
01:34:59,640 --> 01:35:01,920
Speaker 1: social media is not going to go away, so learning

1915
01:35:01,920 --> 01:35:04,080
Speaker 1: how to use it effectively. Like I was just listening

1916
01:35:04,120 --> 01:35:06,120
Speaker 1: the other day, I really want to interview him too.

1917
01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:09,040
Speaker 1: I was just I watched an interview with Jake Joke

1918
01:35:09,920 --> 01:35:11,560
Speaker 1: Jay Cole the other day and mixed him up with

1919
01:35:11,600 --> 01:35:15,760
Speaker 1: a football player nearly, but j Cole the rapper. His

1920
01:35:15,920 --> 01:35:19,400
Speaker 1: music is fantastic, And I was watching he's very reflective,

1921
01:35:19,560 --> 01:35:21,720
Speaker 1: and he was saying that he took a break from

1922
01:35:21,760 --> 01:35:24,960
Speaker 1: social media to get away and he realized that when

1923
01:35:25,000 --> 01:35:28,400
Speaker 1: he came back, nothing went away. And and and this

1924
01:35:28,479 --> 01:35:30,720
Speaker 1: was the point that I'm making that learning how to

1925
01:35:31,000 --> 01:35:36,840
Speaker 1: engage is more important than disengaging. And this is something

1926
01:35:36,880 --> 01:35:41,240
Speaker 1: that's missed. Disengaging is the first step to re engage

1927
01:35:41,280 --> 01:35:44,599
Speaker 1: more effectively. It is not the step and the final step.

1928
01:35:44,960 --> 01:35:47,080
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of us look at disengagement

1929
01:35:47,560 --> 01:35:51,120
Speaker 1: as the achievement or the final step, when actually disengagement

1930
01:35:51,160 --> 01:35:54,439
Speaker 1: is the beginning step of effective re engagement. Does that

1931
01:35:54,479 --> 01:35:57,120
Speaker 1: make sense? Yeah? Like that, And I think that that's

1932
01:35:57,120 --> 01:35:58,680
Speaker 1: the mistake. People may people say, oh, I went on

1933
01:35:58,680 --> 01:36:00,600
Speaker 1: my social media seven day as I'm going to be

1934
01:36:00,600 --> 01:36:02,320
Speaker 1: brilliant when I come back. No, because you haven't still

1935
01:36:02,360 --> 01:36:04,800
Speaker 1: figured out how to re engage. When I became a monk,

1936
01:36:05,280 --> 01:36:08,720
Speaker 1: it disconnected me from the noise, but my re engagement

1937
01:36:08,720 --> 01:36:12,600
Speaker 1: into society has been more powerful because of the disconnection.

1938
01:36:12,600 --> 01:36:15,439
Speaker 1: But not seeing the disconnection as an end. And so

1939
01:36:16,120 --> 01:36:20,360
Speaker 1: when you decide to disengage from anything, learn that actually

1940
01:36:20,479 --> 01:36:23,559
Speaker 1: re engaging is the skill you want to develop. When

1941
01:36:23,560 --> 01:36:26,840
Speaker 1: you learn how to re engage, reconnect, renew, like, when

1942
01:36:26,880 --> 01:36:28,960
Speaker 1: you can do all of that effectively, that's when you

1943
01:36:29,000 --> 01:36:31,880
Speaker 1: win the battle. So for me, what helps me re

1944
01:36:32,040 --> 01:36:35,200
Speaker 1: engage with social media is, first of all, I am

1945
01:36:35,439 --> 01:36:41,519
Speaker 1: a creator, not a consumer. I consume to create or

1946
01:36:41,560 --> 01:36:43,680
Speaker 1: I create and I don't consume. So what I mean

1947
01:36:43,680 --> 01:36:45,200
Speaker 1: by that is when I come on too social media,

1948
01:36:45,439 --> 01:36:49,640
Speaker 1: I'm going there to share or to infuse energy. I

1949
01:36:49,720 --> 01:36:52,320
Speaker 1: don't go there to get energy. And if I go

1950
01:36:52,400 --> 01:36:55,519
Speaker 1: there to consume, it's to learn to create better. So

1951
01:36:55,560 --> 01:36:57,320
Speaker 1: that's a very clear rule for me. I'm not a

1952
01:36:57,360 --> 01:37:00,439
Speaker 1: consumer of soci not scrolling and looking at what everyone

1953
01:37:00,439 --> 01:37:02,559
Speaker 1: else is saying, not in an unintentional way. Like I

1954
01:37:02,560 --> 01:37:04,720
Speaker 1: may follow you to see if you've interviewed someone, and

1955
01:37:04,760 --> 01:37:07,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, Rich, ask that really good question. I

1956
01:37:07,120 --> 01:37:09,240
Speaker 1: won't ask that question. I can ask you from this angle,

1957
01:37:09,439 --> 01:37:11,760
Speaker 1: so that that will help my audience, right, Like, that's

1958
01:37:11,920 --> 01:37:16,240
Speaker 1: that's consuming to create Or oh Rich got that amazing guest,

1959
01:37:16,280 --> 01:37:17,519
Speaker 1: Like maybe I should reach out to them, you know

1960
01:37:17,560 --> 01:37:20,360
Speaker 1: that kind of like And so I think being a

1961
01:37:20,439 --> 01:37:23,040
Speaker 1: consumer is important to being a creator, but it is

1962
01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:27,320
Speaker 1: not consuming just randomly and unintentionally and even if I'm

1963
01:37:27,320 --> 01:37:29,639
Speaker 1: being random on social media, it's intentional. I'm like, I'm

1964
01:37:29,640 --> 01:37:31,559
Speaker 1: going random to see what comes up on my feed

1965
01:37:31,680 --> 01:37:34,599
Speaker 1: because I want to see what's winning. So that's one point.

1966
01:37:34,640 --> 01:37:36,519
Speaker 1: The other barrier that I've made is me and my

1967
01:37:36,560 --> 01:37:40,760
Speaker 1: wife have created no technology times and zones in the home,

1968
01:37:41,000 --> 01:37:42,960
Speaker 1: and we break this all the time, but it's a

1969
01:37:43,000 --> 01:37:46,839
Speaker 1: good rule. So we decided that we would not have phones.

1970
01:37:47,520 --> 01:37:50,400
Speaker 1: And I recommend this to have phones in the dining

1971
01:37:50,479 --> 01:37:52,240
Speaker 1: room or the bedroom because it's more fun to eat

1972
01:37:52,240 --> 01:37:55,639
Speaker 1: and sleep with people. So don't you know, don't ruin

1973
01:37:55,720 --> 01:37:59,280
Speaker 1: those spaces where there's time for bonding and connection and conversation.

1974
01:37:59,640 --> 01:38:02,160
Speaker 1: And most people these days are sitting in their beds

1975
01:38:02,200 --> 01:38:04,320
Speaker 1: on their phones, on their devices and then go to

1976
01:38:04,400 --> 01:38:07,719
Speaker 1: bed right rather than talking or reflecting on the day

1977
01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:09,880
Speaker 1: or asking someone how their day was, whatever it is

1978
01:38:09,920 --> 01:38:12,080
Speaker 1: that you want to do. So I feel like creating

1979
01:38:12,120 --> 01:38:14,400
Speaker 1: barriers and times have really helped me. And even if

1980
01:38:14,439 --> 01:38:17,200
Speaker 1: I fail at it sometimes and we don't always follow it,

1981
01:38:17,200 --> 01:38:20,599
Speaker 1: it's still a useful thing to have. The other thing

1982
01:38:20,640 --> 01:38:22,519
Speaker 1: I have is I make sure and this has changed

1983
01:38:22,600 --> 01:38:25,000
Speaker 1: my life. Just don't look at your phone in the

1984
01:38:25,040 --> 01:38:28,160
Speaker 1: morning like that just the morning time is so powerful.

1985
01:38:28,439 --> 01:38:31,040
Speaker 1: So I wake up at six on my best days,

1986
01:38:31,080 --> 01:38:33,800
Speaker 1: and that's my generic across the board, five days a week,

1987
01:38:34,360 --> 01:38:36,879
Speaker 1: and I don't look at my phone until eight fifteen

1988
01:38:37,120 --> 01:38:39,679
Speaker 1: when I go down to the gym because I'm meditating

1989
01:38:39,680 --> 01:38:42,760
Speaker 1: in the morning and I've got my personal practices. So

1990
01:38:42,840 --> 01:38:44,960
Speaker 1: that just not looking at the phone in the morning,

1991
01:38:45,000 --> 01:38:47,760
Speaker 1: you're already now not starting the day as a consumer.

1992
01:38:47,800 --> 01:38:50,000
Speaker 1: You're starting the day as a creator. I think I

1993
01:38:50,040 --> 01:38:52,439
Speaker 1: heard you say that you lock your phone in your car.

1994
01:38:52,600 --> 01:38:55,120
Speaker 1: It's true, it's a true story. So I literally that

1995
01:38:55,160 --> 01:38:56,519
Speaker 1: was when I came back from being a monk. So

1996
01:38:56,600 --> 01:38:58,200
Speaker 1: when I came back from the usher, when I moved

1997
01:38:58,200 --> 01:39:00,519
Speaker 1: back in with my parents, I used to leave my

1998
01:39:00,600 --> 01:39:03,599
Speaker 1: phone and my laptop in the car, locked in the

1999
01:39:03,600 --> 01:39:07,519
Speaker 1: trunk outside because I knew that if I kept it downstairs,

2000
01:39:07,520 --> 01:39:09,360
Speaker 1: I would trick myself into going to get it, even

2001
01:39:09,400 --> 01:39:12,000
Speaker 1: after three years at the ash room, even after three

2002
01:39:12,080 --> 01:39:14,960
Speaker 1: years at the ashram, because that's how stuff, this stuff

2003
01:39:15,000 --> 01:39:18,439
Speaker 1: is designed. But again, it was disengaging to learn how

2004
01:39:18,479 --> 01:39:22,000
Speaker 1: to re engage, and re engagement means rules. You have

2005
01:39:22,040 --> 01:39:24,599
Speaker 1: to set rules for yourself. You have to set rules

2006
01:39:24,600 --> 01:39:26,760
Speaker 1: that you can follow and rules that you can commit to.

2007
01:39:27,439 --> 01:39:31,320
Speaker 1: And I think the simplest one for me is if

2008
01:39:31,320 --> 01:39:33,000
Speaker 1: you don't like and I don't know how you live,

2009
01:39:33,040 --> 01:39:37,240
Speaker 1: but I live. My life is very scheduled by the

2010
01:39:37,240 --> 01:39:39,600
Speaker 1: minute in the hour, even if it's free time or

2011
01:39:39,640 --> 01:39:42,680
Speaker 1: reflection time. And I like living like that because it

2012
01:39:42,720 --> 01:39:44,800
Speaker 1: doesn't give me an excuse. I don't really have many

2013
01:39:44,840 --> 01:39:48,639
Speaker 1: gaps in my day where I can just aimlessly do stuff. Well.

2014
01:39:48,640 --> 01:39:51,599
Speaker 1: It takes the decision fatigue out of everything, correct. I mean,

2015
01:39:51,640 --> 01:39:53,720
Speaker 1: one hard and fast rule that I have that I

2016
01:39:53,800 --> 01:39:59,840
Speaker 1: break fairly regularly is I never schedule anything before twelve nice.

2017
01:40:00,080 --> 01:40:04,479
Speaker 1: So my morning time is meditation, journaling, and then I

2018
01:40:04,560 --> 01:40:07,240
Speaker 1: go out and a train and that's usually that's that's

2019
01:40:07,280 --> 01:40:10,879
Speaker 1: my solitude. That's an active version of meditation that involves

2020
01:40:10,880 --> 01:40:13,679
Speaker 1: trail running or you know, going swimming or whatever I'm doing.

2021
01:40:14,439 --> 01:40:18,120
Speaker 1: But I give myself like that seems very indulgent to

2022
01:40:18,160 --> 01:40:21,439
Speaker 1: most people. And I have the privilege of being self employed,

2023
01:40:21,479 --> 01:40:23,080
Speaker 1: so I can do that, and I understand most people

2024
01:40:23,120 --> 01:40:26,599
Speaker 1: can't do that. But by adhering to that rule like I,

2025
01:40:26,840 --> 01:40:28,479
Speaker 1: you know, people will say, oh, can you do this

2026
01:40:28,520 --> 01:40:30,280
Speaker 1: conference call at nine in the morning, I was like, no,

2027
01:40:30,560 --> 01:40:33,439
Speaker 1: I'm not available until twelve. Sometimes I I, you know,

2028
01:40:33,479 --> 01:40:36,360
Speaker 1: I have to bend for that or whatever. But by

2029
01:40:36,520 --> 01:40:40,400
Speaker 1: making that kind of a parameter and a priority, that's

2030
01:40:40,439 --> 01:40:44,200
Speaker 1: improved my life tremendously. Exactly. Yeah, that's beautiful, and I

2031
01:40:44,240 --> 01:40:46,559
Speaker 1: think that, like you said, if there are people out

2032
01:40:46,600 --> 01:40:50,240
Speaker 1: there who can't make those decisions, make it in the

2033
01:40:50,360 --> 01:40:53,519
Speaker 1: power that you do have. So if that for you

2034
01:40:53,640 --> 01:40:56,000
Speaker 1: is you don't do anything before nine am. If if

2035
01:40:56,040 --> 01:40:59,439
Speaker 1: your idea is you don't do anything on Sunday before noon,

2036
01:40:59,600 --> 01:41:01,960
Speaker 1: you know, whatever it is, like, find your mini version

2037
01:41:02,040 --> 01:41:04,880
Speaker 1: of that and see how that changes your life. You

2038
01:41:04,920 --> 01:41:06,479
Speaker 1: may not be able to do it to the degree

2039
01:41:06,479 --> 01:41:09,000
Speaker 1: of saying I'll never do anything before that time, but

2040
01:41:09,200 --> 01:41:10,880
Speaker 1: you can do it one day a week. You can

2041
01:41:10,880 --> 01:41:12,080
Speaker 1: do it for an hour a week, you can do

2042
01:41:12,120 --> 01:41:14,960
Speaker 1: it for ten minutes a week. Like that expands. I

2043
01:41:14,960 --> 01:41:17,639
Speaker 1: feel like the better we use our time, the more

2044
01:41:17,680 --> 01:41:20,679
Speaker 1: time expands for us. And I think we feel time

2045
01:41:20,760 --> 01:41:24,400
Speaker 1: is limited because we often don't use our time effectively. Yeah.

2046
01:41:24,520 --> 01:41:26,400
Speaker 1: One thing I wanted to touch on with you is

2047
01:41:26,439 --> 01:41:31,640
Speaker 1: this idea of element environment and energy. Oh yeah, yeah,

2048
01:41:31,720 --> 01:41:35,800
Speaker 1: so I talk about how there are there, Yeah, there

2049
01:41:35,800 --> 01:41:38,519
Speaker 1: are three things that we're all missing in our lives

2050
01:41:38,640 --> 01:41:41,759
Speaker 1: or we're not aware. It's self awareness. So the first

2051
01:41:41,840 --> 01:41:44,160
Speaker 1: is our element, and that to me is your your dharma,

2052
01:41:44,240 --> 01:41:47,080
Speaker 1: your passion, you're calling. It's when you feel you're performing

2053
01:41:47,160 --> 01:41:53,360
Speaker 1: at your best. It's what what what power? What power situation?

2054
01:41:53,439 --> 01:41:56,120
Speaker 1: But not not external, but what power mode do you

2055
01:41:56,160 --> 01:41:58,840
Speaker 1: find yourself? And so I love being in this mode.

2056
01:41:59,200 --> 01:42:03,679
Speaker 1: I love beaking on stage. I love reading, studying and learning.

2057
01:42:03,720 --> 01:42:07,000
Speaker 1: I love writing, I love synthesizing, Like that's my power mode,

2058
01:42:07,040 --> 01:42:10,280
Speaker 1: that's my element. I love being in the element. Now

2059
01:42:11,000 --> 01:42:13,240
Speaker 1: that comes with figuring out your dharama and your passion

2060
01:42:13,240 --> 01:42:15,439
Speaker 1: and your purpose and everything we spoke about. The second

2061
01:42:15,439 --> 01:42:19,080
Speaker 1: area of environment is what environment do you thrive in? Now?

2062
01:42:19,200 --> 01:42:20,760
Speaker 1: The reason why I fell in love with your home

2063
01:42:20,960 --> 01:42:24,640
Speaker 1: is because I love solitude and I love silence and

2064
01:42:24,680 --> 01:42:26,680
Speaker 1: I love being alone. And so right now it's just

2065
01:42:26,720 --> 01:42:28,519
Speaker 1: me and you, and I was just like, wow, this

2066
01:42:28,600 --> 01:42:32,040
Speaker 1: is really nice. And so I have an office for

2067
01:42:32,160 --> 01:42:35,800
Speaker 1: my team, but I work from my home office because

2068
01:42:35,840 --> 01:42:38,559
Speaker 1: I don't like being around lots of noise and people.

2069
01:42:38,560 --> 01:42:41,000
Speaker 1: And you're going to manage all these people? Yeah, exactly.

2070
01:42:41,040 --> 01:42:43,880
Speaker 1: But driving the big social media machine. Yeah, and it's hard,

2071
01:42:43,920 --> 01:42:45,680
Speaker 1: and so you know, and I'm still and this is

2072
01:42:45,680 --> 01:42:47,439
Speaker 1: what I mean by this is a challenge, right, do

2073
01:42:47,479 --> 01:42:50,160
Speaker 1: you protect your purpose or do you give in? This

2074
01:42:50,240 --> 01:42:53,040
Speaker 1: is exactly It's like, I have to work from home

2075
01:42:53,520 --> 01:42:56,000
Speaker 1: because that is who I am. I love being alone

2076
01:42:56,040 --> 01:42:59,200
Speaker 1: to create. I need time, I need space. I needn't.

2077
01:42:59,479 --> 01:43:02,280
Speaker 1: I can't deal with too much distraction. I don't enjoy it.

2078
01:43:02,400 --> 01:43:03,920
Speaker 1: And so I've had to craft my life in a

2079
01:43:03,920 --> 01:43:07,760
Speaker 1: way to do that. And just just to clarify, when

2080
01:43:07,760 --> 01:43:09,679
Speaker 1: I was at Accentia, I did not have my own office.

2081
01:43:09,720 --> 01:43:11,160
Speaker 1: I did not have a corner office, I did not

2082
01:43:11,240 --> 01:43:13,360
Speaker 1: have any office. I worked on the floor. And I

2083
01:43:13,400 --> 01:43:15,639
Speaker 1: was able to do this then by putting on my headphones,

2084
01:43:16,120 --> 01:43:18,080
Speaker 1: or by being very careful about who I spoke to

2085
01:43:18,120 --> 01:43:20,760
Speaker 1: and who I connected with, or finding a space where

2086
01:43:20,760 --> 01:43:22,840
Speaker 1: I could build my own. So you can craft these

2087
01:43:22,840 --> 01:43:27,560
Speaker 1: spaces too, even if you don't have them. But environment,

2088
01:43:27,600 --> 01:43:30,160
Speaker 1: it's really important to know what environment you thrive in,

2089
01:43:30,200 --> 01:43:32,439
Speaker 1: because I think for most of us, our environment is

2090
01:43:32,439 --> 01:43:35,720
Speaker 1: just something we accept based on what we get, and

2091
01:43:35,760 --> 01:43:38,000
Speaker 1: we're not good at crafting. Environment. Could be something as

2092
01:43:38,040 --> 01:43:42,040
Speaker 1: simple as playing the right song. It could be having

2093
01:43:42,080 --> 01:43:45,120
Speaker 1: the right background on your desktop because it brings you

2094
01:43:45,160 --> 01:43:47,400
Speaker 1: to life. It could be having crystals in front of you.

2095
01:43:47,479 --> 01:43:49,320
Speaker 1: This is an environment. When I walked into that, I

2096
01:43:49,360 --> 01:43:52,280
Speaker 1: was like, oh, books and crystals kind of table. You know,

2097
01:43:52,320 --> 01:43:55,599
Speaker 1: It's like there's so much This is an environment and

2098
01:43:56,080 --> 01:43:58,639
Speaker 1: everyone can create the environment, whether they're at an office desk,

2099
01:43:58,720 --> 01:44:01,000
Speaker 1: where they're in a cubicle, whether they're on the train.

2100
01:44:01,360 --> 01:44:04,519
Speaker 1: You have to create that environment. And finally, it's what

2101
01:44:04,720 --> 01:44:06,479
Speaker 1: energy do you vibe with? And what I mean by

2102
01:44:06,520 --> 01:44:07,960
Speaker 1: that is you can look at it as simple as

2103
01:44:08,000 --> 01:44:11,160
Speaker 1: fast paced energy or slow energy, but you can also

2104
01:44:11,240 --> 01:44:15,320
Speaker 1: look at it as frequency of do you succeed and

2105
01:44:15,360 --> 01:44:19,720
Speaker 1: are you more challenge when you're around people that are

2106
01:44:19,760 --> 01:44:21,840
Speaker 1: teaching you and guiding you, or do you succeed in

2107
01:44:21,880 --> 01:44:25,479
Speaker 1: an energy that is where you're teaching. Like, knowing your

2108
01:44:25,640 --> 01:44:29,320
Speaker 1: energy of power is so important, and I feel for

2109
01:44:29,360 --> 01:44:34,480
Speaker 1: so many people their energy is low because they're constantly

2110
01:44:34,560 --> 01:44:40,680
Speaker 1: in low energy spaces, so places like bars and restaurants

2111
01:44:40,720 --> 01:44:43,240
Speaker 1: every day. Of course you feel tired, of course you

2112
01:44:43,240 --> 01:44:45,639
Speaker 1: feel exhausted. Of course you don't feel energized in the morning.

2113
01:44:45,720 --> 01:44:47,720
Speaker 1: It's probably one of the worst ways to end the day,

2114
01:44:48,280 --> 01:44:52,880
Speaker 1: and we think that it's decompressing, and actually no, it's

2115
01:44:52,920 --> 01:44:56,080
Speaker 1: just depressing, right, It's like there's no decompression, there's just

2116
01:44:56,160 --> 01:44:58,840
Speaker 1: depression that comes with that because you just get exhausted

2117
01:44:59,439 --> 01:45:02,080
Speaker 1: and you're body in your mind are now dealing with

2118
01:45:02,120 --> 01:45:04,840
Speaker 1: what's called cognitive load, because your mind in a bar

2119
01:45:05,280 --> 01:45:07,000
Speaker 1: is not only trying to listen to the person talking

2120
01:45:07,040 --> 01:45:09,759
Speaker 1: to you. Your mind is trying your brain is trying

2121
01:45:09,760 --> 01:45:13,519
Speaker 1: to process all the other cluttered sound because it's trying

2122
01:45:13,520 --> 01:45:15,320
Speaker 1: to make sense of it. Now, guess what, your brain

2123
01:45:15,360 --> 01:45:17,280
Speaker 1: doesn't realize for a long time that there is no

2124
01:45:17,320 --> 01:45:20,280
Speaker 1: sense in it because it's still trying to process, process, process,

2125
01:45:20,280 --> 01:45:22,519
Speaker 1: So it's getting drained. And so you have to know

2126
01:45:22,560 --> 01:45:24,360
Speaker 1: what energy you thrive in, and if you need a

2127
01:45:24,439 --> 01:45:26,600
Speaker 1: day to take care of your energy every week, you

2128
01:45:26,680 --> 01:45:29,679
Speaker 1: have to invest in them. Well. I think answering those questions,

2129
01:45:29,680 --> 01:45:32,559
Speaker 1: like grappling with like what is the energy in which

2130
01:45:32,600 --> 01:45:35,080
Speaker 1: I thrive? What environment suits me? You know, what is

2131
01:45:35,120 --> 01:45:37,519
Speaker 1: my element? All of this goes back to self awareness

2132
01:45:37,640 --> 01:45:40,639
Speaker 1: to it. You know, I think if you ask most

2133
01:45:40,640 --> 01:45:42,760
Speaker 1: people what kind of environment do you thrive best in?

2134
01:45:43,120 --> 01:45:46,080
Speaker 1: I would venture to imagine that most people aren't really sure.

2135
01:45:46,200 --> 01:45:48,839
Speaker 1: They don't answer that they don't know. And my answer

2136
01:45:48,920 --> 01:45:50,439
Speaker 1: is to that is that that's what I expect, And

2137
01:45:50,479 --> 01:45:53,120
Speaker 1: that's why I'm encouraging that, because I'm not trying to

2138
01:45:53,160 --> 01:45:55,559
Speaker 1: give you the answers for you because I don't know,

2139
01:45:55,680 --> 01:45:58,000
Speaker 1: and I can't know, and no one can know. But

2140
01:45:58,080 --> 01:46:00,000
Speaker 1: what I do know is that if you ask yourself

2141
01:46:00,000 --> 01:46:03,280
Speaker 1: of the right questions more often, you will very quickly

2142
01:46:03,320 --> 01:46:05,759
Speaker 1: find out. Just like everyone knows whether they like Mexican

2143
01:46:05,800 --> 01:46:09,640
Speaker 1: food or not, it's the same thing. It's not complicated,

2144
01:46:09,680 --> 01:46:11,599
Speaker 1: Like it's really that simple. It's like, you know whether

2145
01:46:11,600 --> 01:46:14,120
Speaker 1: you like Mexican food or not. Okay, you like Mexican food.

2146
01:46:14,120 --> 01:46:16,240
Speaker 1: Do you like burritos or tacos? You know the answer

2147
01:46:16,240 --> 01:46:18,320
Speaker 1: to that, Like, it's not complicated, And it's the same

2148
01:46:18,360 --> 01:46:21,400
Speaker 1: with energy and environment and element it's just no one's

2149
01:46:21,400 --> 01:46:23,880
Speaker 1: ever asked us. No one's ever asked us what's your

2150
01:46:23,880 --> 01:46:25,880
Speaker 1: favorite energy? Right, imagine being on a first date and

2151
01:46:25,920 --> 01:46:27,760
Speaker 1: someone goes to you, what environment do you drive it?

2152
01:46:27,800 --> 01:46:29,519
Speaker 1: No one asked that. Everyone asked what's your verite color,

2153
01:46:29,600 --> 01:46:33,120
Speaker 1: what's your favorite food, what's your favorite movie? Start applying

2154
01:46:33,160 --> 01:46:38,000
Speaker 1: that same questioning to how you live your life. It's

2155
01:46:38,080 --> 01:46:41,519
Speaker 1: asked that about people you meet when you you live

2156
01:46:41,560 --> 01:46:46,040
Speaker 1: to I remember I was given a very interesting offer

2157
01:46:46,080 --> 01:46:51,880
Speaker 1: once by a very wealthy individual, and I remember and

2158
01:46:52,120 --> 01:46:53,720
Speaker 1: it would have been very lucrative for me. And I

2159
01:46:53,720 --> 01:46:57,880
Speaker 1: remember coming back from that evening and speaking to a

2160
01:46:57,960 --> 01:47:00,280
Speaker 1: very dear friend of mine and he was like, how

2161
01:47:00,280 --> 01:47:02,280
Speaker 1: did he go? Because I was very excited for that meeting.

2162
01:47:02,400 --> 01:47:03,680
Speaker 1: It was very early in my career. I was very

2163
01:47:03,680 --> 01:47:05,240
Speaker 1: excited for that meeting. I didn't think I've ever met

2164
01:47:05,280 --> 01:47:09,000
Speaker 1: someone of that caliber before, and it was quite a

2165
01:47:09,040 --> 01:47:11,080
Speaker 1: moment for me. So I told him I was excited.

2166
01:47:11,080 --> 01:47:12,519
Speaker 1: I wasn't when I come back. When I got back,

2167
01:47:12,520 --> 01:47:14,080
Speaker 1: he said to me, like, so, how do you go?

2168
01:47:14,120 --> 01:47:16,479
Speaker 1: And I said, I said, I don't think I'm going

2169
01:47:16,520 --> 01:47:18,040
Speaker 1: to work with him, And he was like, why not.

2170
01:47:18,120 --> 01:47:20,400
Speaker 1: It sounds like an amazing opportunity, it's lucrative everything. I

2171
01:47:20,439 --> 01:47:22,920
Speaker 1: was like, I just didn't vibe with this energy, Like

2172
01:47:22,960 --> 01:47:25,559
Speaker 1: there was just something about it that just I didn't

2173
01:47:25,600 --> 01:47:30,080
Speaker 1: feel like. I felt like if I failed, he'd say

2174
01:47:30,120 --> 01:47:31,920
Speaker 1: I told you so, and if we won, then he'd

2175
01:47:31,920 --> 01:47:34,559
Speaker 1: take the credit. And I just that's not the kind

2176
01:47:34,600 --> 01:47:36,599
Speaker 1: of partnership I like. I like partnerships which are win

2177
01:47:36,640 --> 01:47:39,040
Speaker 1: win where we're supporting each other and so so easy

2178
01:47:39,080 --> 01:47:41,519
Speaker 1: to judge that. But you will forget that if you

2179
01:47:41,560 --> 01:47:43,920
Speaker 1: don't ask yourself when you walk out. See, when we

2180
01:47:43,920 --> 01:47:45,560
Speaker 1: walk out of parties, we talk about the food in

2181
01:47:45,600 --> 01:47:48,760
Speaker 1: the drink, We talk about what people were wearing, all

2182
01:47:48,880 --> 01:47:52,120
Speaker 1: useless information. We rarely go do I like hanging out there?

2183
01:47:52,240 --> 01:47:53,479
Speaker 1: Or do I not like hanging out there? Do I

2184
01:47:53,840 --> 01:47:56,160
Speaker 1: energized or do I not? Those are much better questions

2185
01:47:56,200 --> 01:47:58,439
Speaker 1: to ask then oh, did you like her shoes? Well?

2186
01:47:58,520 --> 01:48:01,320
Speaker 1: Expanding that level of self earness to better understand how

2187
01:48:01,320 --> 01:48:05,920
Speaker 1: other human beings operate is incredibly valuable, especially if you're

2188
01:48:05,960 --> 01:48:09,680
Speaker 1: in a relationship, Like if you're somebody who who you

2189
01:48:09,720 --> 01:48:13,400
Speaker 1: know needs solitude, like you said, that doesn't mean that

2190
01:48:13,439 --> 01:48:16,640
Speaker 1: the person that you're with thrives in that dynamic, Like

2191
01:48:16,720 --> 01:48:20,080
Speaker 1: that person may need something different and being able to, like,

2192
01:48:20,320 --> 01:48:24,559
Speaker 1: you know, grock that will provide you with incredibly powerful

2193
01:48:24,680 --> 01:48:28,880
Speaker 1: and important relationship tools to maintain that relationship. Otherwise, if

2194
01:48:28,920 --> 01:48:31,960
Speaker 1: you're expecting them to process in the way that you do,

2195
01:48:32,320 --> 01:48:34,920
Speaker 1: you're setting yourself up for a lot of problems. Exactly

2196
01:48:34,960 --> 01:48:37,400
Speaker 1: so for me and my wife, it's a really good point,

2197
01:48:37,439 --> 01:48:39,360
Speaker 1: which I'm really glad you raised that for me. For

2198
01:48:39,439 --> 01:48:43,439
Speaker 1: me and my wife, she succeeds and thrives when she's

2199
01:48:43,479 --> 01:48:47,200
Speaker 1: around her friends and family, and I succeed and thrive

2200
01:48:47,280 --> 01:48:49,360
Speaker 1: when I'm when I'm on my own or with her,

2201
01:48:49,439 --> 01:48:51,479
Speaker 1: but on my own in terms of a creative way.

2202
01:48:51,720 --> 01:48:53,960
Speaker 1: And so we know that when I want that time,

2203
01:48:54,439 --> 01:48:56,639
Speaker 1: that's when she usually goes back to London and spends

2204
01:48:56,640 --> 01:48:57,880
Speaker 1: time with her family, or when she wants to go

2205
01:48:57,960 --> 01:49:00,680
Speaker 1: spend time with her family in London or has our

2206
01:49:00,720 --> 01:49:02,439
Speaker 1: friends over here, that's when I'm going to get more

2207
01:49:02,439 --> 01:49:04,840
Speaker 1: time to do that. And so we found that we

2208
01:49:04,960 --> 01:49:07,760
Speaker 1: both require very different things, but we've tried in our

2209
01:49:07,760 --> 01:49:11,080
Speaker 1: relationship to time them, her for me and me for her,

2210
01:49:11,520 --> 01:49:13,320
Speaker 1: timed them at the same time so that we both

2211
01:49:13,360 --> 01:49:17,000
Speaker 1: get that and so I can be traveling alone, like

2212
01:49:17,040 --> 01:49:18,559
Speaker 1: I just went to New York for a week, but

2213
01:49:18,640 --> 01:49:20,439
Speaker 1: she was here and her friends had moved into our

2214
01:49:20,439 --> 01:49:22,320
Speaker 1: place for a week with her. You know, it's like

2215
01:49:22,800 --> 01:49:25,280
Speaker 1: it's it's finding out the things that work, and it's

2216
01:49:25,320 --> 01:49:29,879
Speaker 1: you supporting them to have that environment, and they support

2217
01:49:29,920 --> 01:49:32,519
Speaker 1: you to have your environment, rather than like you saying,

2218
01:49:32,520 --> 01:49:34,120
Speaker 1: oh well, I like being alone, so you should be

2219
01:49:34,160 --> 01:49:36,960
Speaker 1: okay being alone too, Like, we both know that doesn't work,

2220
01:49:37,000 --> 01:49:44,120
Speaker 1: so yeah, yeah, yeah, respecting that and also understanding that

2221
01:49:44,120 --> 01:49:48,800
Speaker 1: that person has their own independent experience and and and

2222
01:49:50,240 --> 01:49:54,000
Speaker 1: being in a place where a healthy, healthy place where

2223
01:49:54,479 --> 01:49:57,599
Speaker 1: you're trying to support that person in their own personal

2224
01:49:57,880 --> 01:50:01,639
Speaker 1: self actualization journey as a poe those to making it

2225
01:50:01,840 --> 01:50:06,519
Speaker 1: like a compliment to your own journey. I think it's important, right, Like, yeah,

2226
01:50:06,600 --> 01:50:08,880
Speaker 1: it's important to be to have your independence within a

2227
01:50:08,960 --> 01:50:12,080
Speaker 1: relationship and not be you know, overly defined by the

2228
01:50:12,080 --> 01:50:15,680
Speaker 1: other person. Yeah. I could couldn't agree more. And I

2229
01:50:15,760 --> 01:50:19,080
Speaker 1: think with with couples, that's the challenge. We look for

2230
01:50:19,240 --> 01:50:24,840
Speaker 1: similarities in likes and dislikes, you know, when you when

2231
01:50:24,840 --> 01:50:26,800
Speaker 1: you're dating someone or you're meeting someone yours, like, oh,

2232
01:50:26,840 --> 01:50:28,880
Speaker 1: do we like the same food, do we like the

2233
01:50:28,960 --> 01:50:31,160
Speaker 1: same things? Do we both like being alone? Do we

2234
01:50:31,200 --> 01:50:33,320
Speaker 1: both like this? And you look for likes and similarities

2235
01:50:33,320 --> 01:50:37,000
Speaker 1: and quite superficial things that are not actually relevant to

2236
01:50:37,040 --> 01:50:39,760
Speaker 1: the quality of a relationship. What's what's really the heart

2237
01:50:39,800 --> 01:50:42,800
Speaker 1: of a quality of relationship is do you have the

2238
01:50:42,840 --> 01:50:46,799
Speaker 1: same likes and dislikes? As to how to build a

2239
01:50:46,880 --> 01:50:50,679
Speaker 1: relationship in terms of your values about a relationships about values. Yeah,

2240
01:50:50,720 --> 01:50:53,360
Speaker 1: I mean you can be my wife and are completely

2241
01:50:53,400 --> 01:50:56,439
Speaker 1: different and so me too. Is that you know, a

2242
01:50:56,479 --> 01:51:00,479
Speaker 1: lot of people are shocked that it works. I mean,

2243
01:51:00,479 --> 01:51:03,200
Speaker 1: we've been together for twenty years, so we figured a

2244
01:51:03,200 --> 01:51:06,879
Speaker 1: few things out. But it's because we share core of values,

2245
01:51:07,040 --> 01:51:10,960
Speaker 1: even though you know, and from a surface perspective we

2246
01:51:11,080 --> 01:51:13,960
Speaker 1: look very different. Yeah, and core values not just from

2247
01:51:14,000 --> 01:51:17,799
Speaker 1: the point of view of the deeper thing that builds

2248
01:51:17,800 --> 01:51:19,840
Speaker 1: you both, but I mean core values of how you

2249
01:51:20,000 --> 01:51:23,320
Speaker 1: view a healthy relationship. Yeah, like me and my wife

2250
01:51:23,400 --> 01:51:26,559
Speaker 1: both view a healthy relationship as one where we support

2251
01:51:26,600 --> 01:51:30,080
Speaker 1: each other to reach our own goals. That's a value

2252
01:51:30,120 --> 01:51:32,920
Speaker 1: in a relationship. It's not even just a value. Another

2253
01:51:33,000 --> 01:51:36,320
Speaker 1: value of ours is that we both know that we

2254
01:51:36,360 --> 01:51:39,400
Speaker 1: can trust each other, that we're always acting for each

2255
01:51:39,400 --> 01:51:42,479
Speaker 1: other's benefit. Right, That's a value we both share that

2256
01:51:42,520 --> 01:51:45,400
Speaker 1: we both share the value of. Once you sleep on it,

2257
01:51:45,400 --> 01:51:48,720
Speaker 1: it's done. We both have that. So when we've fought

2258
01:51:48,760 --> 01:51:50,760
Speaker 1: about something, or we've disagreed about something, when we've got

2259
01:51:50,840 --> 01:51:52,479
Speaker 1: to sleep the next day, we're not bringing it back

2260
01:51:52,560 --> 01:51:56,040
Speaker 1: up is as ammunition. It's gone. And we both had

2261
01:51:56,080 --> 01:51:59,520
Speaker 1: that value before we met, and so those are relationship

2262
01:51:59,600 --> 01:52:02,400
Speaker 1: value and that's what you need. Values that are similar

2263
01:52:02,479 --> 01:52:05,720
Speaker 1: or not just values in Oh, we both value spirituality,

2264
01:52:05,840 --> 01:52:08,920
Speaker 1: that's that's there. But this is a deeper level of that. Yeah,

2265
01:52:08,920 --> 01:52:12,519
Speaker 1: it's not about avoiding conflict or not arguing or not

2266
01:52:12,600 --> 01:52:16,040
Speaker 1: having definitely fights over things. It's about how you process

2267
01:52:16,160 --> 01:52:19,160
Speaker 1: that and communicate to get to the other side and

2268
01:52:19,240 --> 01:52:22,479
Speaker 1: you know, minimize the half life. Yeah, I mean, I

2269
01:52:22,520 --> 01:52:26,559
Speaker 1: mean John Gottman, who whose institute is phenomenal. Yeah, he's

2270
01:52:26,560 --> 01:52:28,800
Speaker 1: been at the Gartman Institute. I haven't been. Yeah, I

2271
01:52:28,840 --> 01:52:30,560
Speaker 1: met and met a confidence that we both spoken. I

2272
01:52:30,600 --> 01:52:32,599
Speaker 1: can't wait to have him on my podcast. But John

2273
01:52:32,600 --> 01:52:34,599
Speaker 1: Gottman's done all the research on relationships, and he talks

2274
01:52:34,600 --> 01:52:39,080
Speaker 1: about the number one skill needed to have a long

2275
01:52:39,160 --> 01:52:42,720
Speaker 1: lasting relationship is not date nights. It's not walks on

2276
01:52:42,760 --> 01:52:46,440
Speaker 1: the beach, it's not flowers, it's learning how to fight. Yeah,

2277
01:52:46,479 --> 01:52:48,600
Speaker 1: And when I read that in his work, I was

2278
01:52:48,640 --> 01:52:51,839
Speaker 1: just like, that is so true. I love that because

2279
01:52:52,080 --> 01:52:54,559
Speaker 1: you are going to fight, but most people don't know

2280
01:52:54,560 --> 01:52:57,600
Speaker 1: how to fight. And just as there's love languages that

2281
01:52:57,760 --> 01:53:01,439
Speaker 1: Gary Chapman so beautifully explained, I believe that there are

2282
01:53:01,520 --> 01:53:04,240
Speaker 1: fight languages, and what I mean by that is there

2283
01:53:04,280 --> 01:53:08,280
Speaker 1: are fight responses or languages that you naturally have. So,

2284
01:53:08,360 --> 01:53:11,280
Speaker 1: for example, my wife's fight language is she likes to

2285
01:53:11,280 --> 01:53:14,960
Speaker 1: be quiet, reflect and think and not talk about things

2286
01:53:15,000 --> 01:53:18,160
Speaker 1: until she processes. My fight language is totally the opposite.

2287
01:53:18,200 --> 01:53:19,680
Speaker 1: I want to figure it out right now, I want

2288
01:53:19,680 --> 01:53:21,519
Speaker 1: to open up. I want to extrapolate on to break

2289
01:53:21,520 --> 01:53:24,320
Speaker 1: it down. Guess what. In the beginning of our relationship

2290
01:53:24,400 --> 01:53:26,760
Speaker 1: that really didn't work because she was quiet and I

2291
01:53:26,800 --> 01:53:28,200
Speaker 1: was like, why are you quiet? Why are you not

2292
01:53:28,240 --> 01:53:30,439
Speaker 1: telling me what's going on? Have I done something wrong?

2293
01:53:30,720 --> 01:53:33,120
Speaker 1: And I'd be forcing her to share it, and then

2294
01:53:33,120 --> 01:53:36,679
Speaker 1: she would share prematurely and feel like she said something

2295
01:53:36,720 --> 01:53:38,559
Speaker 1: she didn't mean now and now I'm upset at what

2296
01:53:38,600 --> 01:53:41,280
Speaker 1: I forced her to share with me. And so we

2297
01:53:41,320 --> 01:53:43,240
Speaker 1: really had to learn each other's fight languages. And I've

2298
01:53:43,320 --> 01:53:46,160
Speaker 1: learned that her fight language is better than mine. And

2299
01:53:46,200 --> 01:53:49,679
Speaker 1: so now the approaches she needs space, I need space,

2300
01:53:49,680 --> 01:53:51,320
Speaker 1: and we come back together and discuss it when we're

2301
01:53:51,320 --> 01:53:54,600
Speaker 1: both ready. And it sounds basic, but so many relationship

2302
01:53:54,640 --> 01:53:58,639
Speaker 1: issues occur because people's fight languages don't match mindful fighting.

2303
01:53:58,840 --> 01:54:02,920
Speaker 1: Mindful fighting fighting is that is the antithesis of mindfulness

2304
01:54:02,960 --> 01:54:06,519
Speaker 1: in the sense that you're you're being reactive in the moment,

2305
01:54:06,680 --> 01:54:08,960
Speaker 1: like something comes over us and we're just we're just

2306
01:54:08,960 --> 01:54:12,519
Speaker 1: spouting whatever, and we're repeating these recursive patterns that are

2307
01:54:12,640 --> 01:54:15,519
Speaker 1: embedded deep within us. And to the extent that you

2308
01:54:15,520 --> 01:54:19,080
Speaker 1: could take a step back and deploy the skills that

2309
01:54:19,120 --> 01:54:23,599
Speaker 1: you learn through meditation and the experiences that you had

2310
01:54:23,600 --> 01:54:28,639
Speaker 1: in this ostramp to create distance between your impulse, yeah

2311
01:54:28,880 --> 01:54:32,600
Speaker 1: and the next best move. You're taking out an insurance

2312
01:54:32,640 --> 01:54:36,440
Speaker 1: policy for a better outcome. Absolutely, yeah, I agree with that.

2313
01:54:36,560 --> 01:54:39,120
Speaker 1: It's well said. Well, I appreciate you coming here to

2314
01:54:39,160 --> 01:54:42,080
Speaker 1: talk to me. You are an inspiration to me and

2315
01:54:42,320 --> 01:54:44,880
Speaker 1: millions of people out there. The content that you're putting

2316
01:54:44,880 --> 01:54:49,320
Speaker 1: out into the world is definitely raising the the vibration

2317
01:54:49,360 --> 01:54:51,800
Speaker 1: of consciousness, and that's what we need now more than ever.

2318
01:54:51,960 --> 01:54:54,560
Speaker 1: We need to bridge these gaps and learn how to communicate.

2319
01:54:54,680 --> 01:54:57,840
Speaker 1: Long form conversations are one way to do it. The

2320
01:54:57,960 --> 01:55:01,080
Speaker 1: videos and everything that you kind of you know, produce

2321
01:55:01,200 --> 01:55:03,680
Speaker 1: as as really like a spiritual offering to the world.

2322
01:55:03,760 --> 01:55:05,960
Speaker 1: I think is m is a gift. So thank you

2323
01:55:06,000 --> 01:55:09,320
Speaker 1: for thank you, and I'm excited to see how this

2324
01:55:09,360 --> 01:55:12,120
Speaker 1: book is received by the world, and uh, and what

2325
01:55:12,160 --> 01:55:14,200
Speaker 1: you decide to do next, my friend, and you've always

2326
01:55:14,200 --> 01:55:16,520
Speaker 1: got a welcome seat across from me here. Thank you. Man.

2327
01:55:16,560 --> 01:55:18,440
Speaker 1: I was also going to say, you've I've been I've

2328
01:55:18,440 --> 01:55:20,600
Speaker 1: been school today and how to host a really good podcast.

2329
01:55:20,640 --> 01:55:22,440
Speaker 1: This has been from a veteran. This has been a

2330
01:55:22,440 --> 01:55:25,200
Speaker 1: lot of fun and it's uh, yeah, you're brilliant to

2331
01:55:25,200 --> 01:55:27,600
Speaker 1: talk to him. And I've really explored so many things today.

2332
01:55:27,640 --> 01:55:30,480
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for helping me re explore

2333
01:55:30,560 --> 01:55:33,520
Speaker 1: and learn and question so many of my own beliefs

2334
01:55:33,520 --> 01:55:36,080
Speaker 1: and values. I really appreciate anyone who can help me

2335
01:55:36,120 --> 01:55:38,600
Speaker 1: do that. Thanks. So the book is think like a monk,

2336
01:55:38,640 --> 01:55:42,680
Speaker 1: available everywhere. Support your local booksellers, but you can also,

2337
01:55:42,800 --> 01:55:44,720
Speaker 1: of course, always get it on Amazon. You can learn

2338
01:55:44,760 --> 01:55:48,840
Speaker 1: more about Jay Jetty dot me. He's a beast on Facebook,

2339
01:55:49,280 --> 01:55:52,160
Speaker 1: which is interesting because it's like I thought we were

2340
01:55:52,160 --> 01:55:55,120
Speaker 1: done with Facebook, but you're like huge on Facebook. That's

2341
01:55:55,120 --> 01:55:58,640
Speaker 1: a whole other podcast. Just google Jay Chetty you can

2342
01:55:58,640 --> 01:56:02,160
Speaker 1: find him everywhere. Than man, Thank you so much. Manche Hey,

2343
01:56:02,200 --> 01:56:04,760
Speaker 1: we didn't even talk about being vegan. We didn't do that.

2344
01:56:04,760 --> 01:56:06,520
Speaker 1: Next time, Yeah, next time. Yeah, we got a lot

2345
01:56:06,560 --> 01:56:09,200
Speaker 1: more tea. We should do more stuff together regularly. Right on.

2346
01:56:09,400 --> 01:56:11,120
Speaker 1: That's great. That was awesome man, Thank you. I hope

2347
01:56:11,120 --> 01:56:12,080
Speaker 1: that was good for your audience.