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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes. We'll get

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Speaker 1: into the episode.

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Speaker 3: I chose to live with my stepmother instead of my

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Speaker 3: father after they divorced.

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Speaker 4: Well, is she nice to you?

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Speaker 3: I eighteen female, I am about to graduate high school and

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Speaker 3: things have been weird at home for a while, but

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Speaker 3: now everything's kind of blown up and I'm getting a

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Speaker 3: lot of mixed reactions, so I.

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Speaker 2: Figured i'd post here.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user ad Taylor, and

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So my dad remarried

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Speaker 3: when I was fourteen. His new wife had two kids

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Speaker 3: from a previous marriage who were younger than me. From

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Speaker 3: the start, she was polite but cold, never rude, but

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Speaker 3: definitely distant. She always seems more relaxed and affectionate with

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Speaker 3: her kids, which hurt, but I figured maybe that was

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Speaker 3: just natural. Well, I think both of those things can

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Speaker 3: be true. Yeah, but whenever I came in the room,

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Speaker 3: she stopped laughing and looked at me as if I

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Speaker 3: was a danger of hurting her children.

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Speaker 2: Boy.

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Speaker 3: For years, I felt like I was walking on eggshells

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Speaker 3: around her. I tried being friendly and helping her out

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Speaker 3: with the kids, giving her space, et cetera, but it

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Speaker 3: never felt like I was truly welcome in my own home.

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Speaker 3: It hurt, but I got used to it. But something

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Speaker 3: changed this past year. I don't know exactly what triggered it,

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Speaker 3: but Stepmom started acting.

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Speaker 2: Different, more present, kinder.

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Speaker 3: She started checking in on me, inviting me to sit

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Speaker 3: with her and her kids more, even standing up for

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Speaker 3: me when my dad would snap or criticize me. And

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Speaker 3: that's when things started to click between us. Turns out

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Speaker 3: my dad had told Stepmom a lot of stuff about

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Speaker 3: me when they first got together, things like I was manipulative, dishonest, moody, lazy,

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Speaker 3: emotionally unstable. Basically made me sound like some troubled, dramatic

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Speaker 3: teenager who couldn't be trusted. I found this out because

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Speaker 3: I overheard them fighting about it. She apologized and said

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Speaker 3: she realized how wrong she'd been, and how my dad

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Speaker 3: was constantly nitpicking, belittling, and controlling, and how she never

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Speaker 3: saw it clearly until she started watching how he treated

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Speaker 3: me versus everyone else. They divorced about two months ago.

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Speaker 3: My dad expected me to stay with him. Legally, I

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Speaker 3: could do whatever I want though, since I'm eighteen, But

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Speaker 3: I told him I wanted to live with stepmom. It

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Speaker 3: caused a whole explosion. He said I was choosing a

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Speaker 3: woman who never even wanted me, that I was turning

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Speaker 3: my back on my real family, His parents, my grandparents

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Speaker 3: called me ungrateful. Even a few family friends said I

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Speaker 3: was being disloyal and just trying to hurt him.

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Speaker 4: Bro.

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Speaker 3: But here's the thing, Dana does want me now. She's

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Speaker 3: apologized and made an effort, and she's treating me like

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Speaker 3: a human being. She's the one coming to visit my

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Speaker 3: school competitions and helps me whenever I ask her. My

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Speaker 3: dad hasn't taken a real interest in me in years.

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Speaker 3: She listens, she makes space for me, and showed me

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Speaker 3: what it feels like to be safe. So am I

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Speaker 3: the a hole for choosing to live with my former

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Speaker 3: step mom instead of my dad?

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Speaker 2: Not only are you not an ahole, but your dad

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Speaker 2: is an ale, So flip that whole story around.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Also, you're fourteen. All these people eighteen, it's alone. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 4: graduating high school.

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Speaker 3: Where they got to get They got married when he

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Speaker 3: was fourteen, gotcha.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, it's just like you're their kid. They can't

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Speaker 4: be just accusing you of hurting your parents' feelings on purpose.

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Speaker 4: I don't know. That's just just so extravagant. And if

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Speaker 4: you're the real family, then maybe you should understand him

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Speaker 4: a little bit, or at least try to. Yeah, so

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Speaker 4: not the a hole for sureseys.

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Speaker 3: If the whole family's hitting you up trying to tell

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Speaker 3: you you're bad, just go ahead and be like, hey,

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Speaker 3: so here's what he said about me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, how do you feel now?

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Speaker 4: Expose him?

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Speaker 2: How do you feel now?

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Speaker 3: He lied to my step mom and called me like

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Speaker 3: a I don't know he made up with this story

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Speaker 3: about how I'm like a troubled teen.

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Speaker 2: Because that's the way that was weird to me.

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Speaker 3: Whereas like she walked in and she was like she

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Speaker 3: was acting like I was a danger to her kids.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, what, Yeah, that was weird, and it's well,

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Speaker 3: it makes sense now because she's been told that.

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Speaker 2: She probably is mm.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: A part scene ninety fifty nine says turns out my

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Speaker 3: dad had told stepmom a lot of stuff about me

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Speaker 3: when they first got together, things like I was manipulative, dishonest, moozy, lazy,

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Speaker 3: emotionally unstable. So replying to that part of the story,

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Speaker 3: and the thing that I don't get is why did

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Speaker 3: it take her three years to figure out this wasn't

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Speaker 3: true when you all live together. If all those things

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Speaker 3: are lies and she lived with you, wouldn't she notice

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Speaker 3: it's untrue within months? Opie replies. Throughout most of my

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Speaker 3: high school time, I went to a boarding school. I

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Speaker 3: could have come home at the weekends, but because I

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Speaker 3: did feel unwelcome at home, I stayed there for most

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Speaker 3: of the year.

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Speaker 2: I only came home during the holidays.

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Speaker 3: My senior year, however, I couldn't go back because my

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Speaker 3: father thought the boarding school would only make me entitled,

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Speaker 3: that I would think of myself better than the rest

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Speaker 3: of the family. But that wasn't true at all. How

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Speaker 3: would he even know? My father hasn't taken an interest

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Speaker 3: in me in years. I bet he he doesn't even

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Speaker 3: know what sport I like to play, or the name

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Speaker 3: of my best friend. He only started to pretend to

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Speaker 3: care when I chose to live with stepmom, A mortally

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Speaker 3: wounded one says, not the a hole. He married a

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Speaker 3: woman and immediately turned her against you for absolutely no reason,

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Speaker 3: ensuring that you would have a little to no relationship

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Speaker 3: with the woman he chose to be your step mother.

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Speaker 3: Get away from him and stay away from him as

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Speaker 3: far as I'm concerned.

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Speaker 2: Judgment, not the a hole. Update four days later.

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Speaker 4: Uh oh uh oh.

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Speaker 2: Should be just like make like some folks on a

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Speaker 2: trampoline and just like jump.

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Speaker 4: In, jump right into it.

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Speaker 2: Update four days later, Hi again.

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Speaker 3: I honestly didn't expect my post to get the attention

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Speaker 3: it did, but thank you to everyone who offered support, advice,

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Speaker 3: or even just validation. Reading your comments helped me feel

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Speaker 3: a little less alone in all this. I wanted to

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Speaker 3: give an update, especially since some people asked if my

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Speaker 3: dad ever tried to explain himself.

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Speaker 2: He did.

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Speaker 3: After I moved in with my ex step mom. Things

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Speaker 3: were quiet for weeks. Then last week my dad asked

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Speaker 3: to meet. I agreed, hoping maybe this would be a

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Speaker 3: turning point that he'd acknowledged the way he treated me

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Speaker 3: and maybe even apologize. But instead I got a whole

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Speaker 3: different kind of explanation. He told me that he was

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Speaker 3: still in love with my mom, who passed away when

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Speaker 3: I was ten, and that he had never truly moved on.

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Speaker 3: All right, pops, But who asked about that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: How is this possibly going to tie into you lying

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Speaker 3: about your daughter?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it feels like it's on its way to to's

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Speaker 4: just gilt tripping.

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Speaker 3: It's you know, it's on a direct flight to feel

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Speaker 3: bad for me, Yeah street, feel bad for Me town.

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Speaker 2: He's the mayor of feel bad for Me Town.

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Speaker 3: He said that after she passed away, he felt like

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Speaker 3: he lost not just his wife, but a piece of himself.

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Speaker 3: He admitted that he married Stepmom not out of love,

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Speaker 3: but because he thought building a new family would help

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Speaker 3: him fill the void. But it didn't, and instead he

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Speaker 3: grew bitter and angry and started taking it out on everyone,

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Speaker 3: on step Mom, on her kids, on me. And then

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Speaker 3: he said something that completely shattered me. He said he

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Speaker 3: never wanted her to bond with me because if she did,

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Speaker 3: it would feel like my mom was being erased. That

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Speaker 3: he couldn't handle the idea of me loving someone else

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Speaker 3: in a mother role, that every time he saw Stepmom

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Speaker 3: and I getting along, it felt like I was letting

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Speaker 3: go of my mom and replacing her, which is just

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Speaker 3: not true. I will always love my mom and nothing

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Speaker 3: could ever change that. But I also deserve to have

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Speaker 3: people in my life who care about me now, people

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Speaker 3: who show it. Stepmom has done that. She's trying, and

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Speaker 3: she's here. When I asked him if he realized how

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Speaker 3: much he'd hurt me, how he'd changed from the dad

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Speaker 3: I remembered, he didn't deny it, but he also didn't apologize.

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Speaker 3: He just said he was dealing with his grief the

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Speaker 3: only way he knew how, and that I should respect that.

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Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, not because you.

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Speaker 3: Have feelings doesn't mean your behaviors are in all excused.

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Speaker 4: Yeah no, absolutely. Like, as he's saying all these things,

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Speaker 4: it's like, okay, the explanation, not the excuse. You can

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Speaker 4: maybe explain these things and be like, ah, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 4: it was the wrong way to deal with this. My

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Speaker 4: bad dog, my mess that up. But he's not apologizing.

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Speaker 4: He's just saying, like, no, this is what was happening.

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Speaker 4: I'm so sad, So now you need to forgive me.

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Speaker 2: Right, He's saying, I'm the mayor of feel bad for

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Speaker 2: Me Town.

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Speaker 3: I was feeling bad, So you can't be mad at

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Speaker 3: me through the things that I did. Maybe I shouldn't

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Speaker 3: drag an entire other family into my mess now that

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Speaker 3: I've realized, Hey, this isn't filling the void. This is

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Speaker 3: actually just making me an angry, bitter piece of crap. Guy,

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Speaker 3: he told me stepmom was taking me away from him

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Speaker 3: and that I had replaced my mom. He said, word

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Speaker 3: for word, who chose her over your real mother's memory?

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Speaker 2: Wow, I walked out, good for up.

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Speaker 3: A lot of people at eighteen wouldn't have the understanding

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Speaker 3: that that's when you do that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I will talk to him again unless

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Speaker 3: he does apologize and changes his ways. I'm still processing

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Speaker 3: all of this, and I'm trying to hold space for

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Speaker 3: the version of my dad who was kind, who tucked

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Speaker 3: me in at night and made me waffles on Saturdays.

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Speaker 3: But I'm all so not going to pretend the last

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Speaker 3: few years didn't happen. Grief isn't an excuse for cruelty,

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Speaker 3: and choosing peace and love now isn't a betrayal of

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Speaker 3: the past. We do have a little bit of story left, yes, Like,

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Speaker 3: can I like sympathize with this guy?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, does it excuse all of the mistakes that he's

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Speaker 3: made to the point where he can just go, well,

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Speaker 3: you need to respect that I was going through it

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Speaker 3: when I was doing this.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no.

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Speaker 3: Does that train of thought cause me to question all

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Speaker 3: of his motives?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm not ready to have a relationship with

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Speaker 3: this guy until he reaches out to me expressly apologizing

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Speaker 3: for ruining and sabotaging my relationship with my stepmom. Stepmom

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Speaker 3: is not perfect, but she's trying, and for now, this

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Speaker 3: feels like the healthiest place for me to be.

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Speaker 2: We're rebuilding something strange and new, but it feels more

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Speaker 2: real than anything I've had in years. I don't know

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Speaker 2: what the future holds with my dad, but I know this.

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Speaker 2: I'm allowed to be loved and I'm allowed to choose

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Speaker 2: it wherever I find it. Thanks again, read it and

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Speaker 2: we have some comments to take us on home.

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Speaker 3: Driftwood two fifty six says, not the ale grief isn't

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Speaker 3: an excuse for cruelty and choosing peace in love? Now?

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Speaker 2: Is it a betrayal of the past. You couldn't have

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Speaker 2: put it better? What a crappy father?

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Speaker 3: Glass Confusion four four eight says There is a really

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Speaker 3: great scene in Clueless where Cher explains about her annoying

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Speaker 3: ex stepbrother still hanging around and spending time with her father,

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Speaker 3: and her father says, you divorce a spouse, you don't

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Speaker 3: divorce kids, choosing the parent and home that is best

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Speaker 3: for you in the short and long term. Laughing Dragon

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Speaker 3: seventy seven says stepmom didn't replace your mom, sounds like

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Speaker 3: she replaced your dad. One Recipe seventy four to twenty

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Speaker 3: three says, my useless dad once argued that my ex

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Speaker 3: stepmother now second mother, that she was trying to replace him.

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Speaker 3: She replied back, in the softest voice, that seat was empty.

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Speaker 2: Good luck, o pe. Know that you're not alone. You're bio.

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Speaker 2: Mom would be proud of you and your stepma. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and that's the end of that story. I agree.

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Speaker 4: My parents are trying their best to sabotage my wedding

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Speaker 4: because I'm queer.

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Speaker 2: What are your parents? The Beastie boys.

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Speaker 4: Trigger warning phobia. When I was a little girl, my

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Speaker 4: oma and my girl cousins and I sat around and

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Speaker 4: talked about our future weddings and what we would want

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Speaker 4: our dresses to look like in bouquets and future husbands,

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Speaker 4: number of kids. I was not super engaged in the conversation,

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Speaker 4: but I was included by the way. This comes from

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Speaker 4: Diamine Selah don Kat. If you want to submit your

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Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time

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Speaker 4: stub reddit. So but Mayama knew how to draw me

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Speaker 4: in because we bonded over our mutual love of stuffed animals,

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Speaker 4: something that has followed me into adulthood. She'd hand me

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Speaker 4: downs for all the other little girls in the family

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Speaker 4: to give them for their wedding days, such as jewelry,

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Speaker 4: hand mirrors, other trinkets, shoes, or handbags. They stopped in

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Speaker 4: her vast closet all day, and I sat in her

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Speaker 4: room and played with the stuffed animals. And she asked

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Speaker 4: me if I wanted a tiny palm sized stuffed white

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Speaker 4: mouse to put in my bouquet when I got married.

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Speaker 4: It would be about the size of a peany bloom,

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Speaker 4: lightweight and the right size not to crush the flowers.

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Speaker 4: I was immediately obsessed. She gave the mouse to my

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Speaker 4: mom for safe keeping. My mom held onto the mouse

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Speaker 4: and I would pull it out and hold it reverently

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Speaker 4: and inspect it and make sure that it was clean

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Speaker 4: and knew that it was being saved for a special day.

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Speaker 4: Then in high school, I came out as and suddenly

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Speaker 4: I wasn't. My parents barely tolerated eldest daughter because let's

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Speaker 4: face it, we had problems then too, but they're openly

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Speaker 4: disliked son, and as soon as they could wash their

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Speaker 4: hands of me, they did, And I wasn't allowed to

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Speaker 4: take Almah's mouths with me when I left. I didn't

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Speaker 4: think about it because when I moved out, I didn't

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Speaker 4: have blushing bride to be in the forefront of my mind.

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Speaker 4: My parents are not even willing to mail me my

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Speaker 4: birth certificate to help me leave the country safely. Right now,

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Speaker 4: I'm sure the stuffed mouse is out of the question.

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Speaker 4: I'm still not a blushing bride and I'm not going

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Speaker 4: to marry one. My future husband and I want to

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Speaker 4: have a immemorial bouquet with the mouse in it on

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Speaker 4: a table at our wedding, next to our take a

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Speaker 4: kippa just for today. We promise they don't bite basket.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to just replace the mouse because I know

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Speaker 4: where she bought it originally, but it's discontinued. They're available

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Speaker 4: online but I'm having a hard time finding one that

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Speaker 4: isn't used in warn looking. I just have grief. I

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Speaker 4: won't even have a date yet. We haven't even started

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Speaker 4: planning or anything official. This was my literal first wedding

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Speaker 4: planning thought. Anyways, thanks for listening, cheers. It all has

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Speaker 4: to get better from here. None of my side of

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Speaker 4: the family is even invited, Elmo, and there are some comments.

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Speaker 4: Do you have any comments but.

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Speaker 3: Normalized not inviting people who are bigoted towards you to

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Speaker 3: your wedding, even if they are your family. Yeah, So

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Speaker 3: the love of God, please can we stop inviting people

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Speaker 3: we know we don't like, they don't like us.

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Speaker 2: Why are we inviting them? I don't care if you

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Speaker 2: gave birth to me you hate me.

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Speaker 4: Now, those are all very valid questions. Even if you

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Speaker 4: gave the mouse bag, that doesn't deserve a return of entry,

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Speaker 4: doesn't deserve for control. But some comments, such as missus

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Speaker 4: Sir Walter Scott says, I'm so sorry you're going through

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Speaker 4: all of this so when you're supposed to be having

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Speaker 4: one of the best seasons in your life. I hope

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00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,040
Speaker 4: you can take comfort in the fact that your Alma

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00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,199
Speaker 4: loved you so much. If you want to post a

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Speaker 4: picture of one of the mouse stuffies or the name

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Speaker 4: of it or anything, I can try to help you

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Speaker 4: find one. I'm glad that you're creating a new family hope.

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Speaker 4: He responds, it's ridiculous. It's like the Ikea der ghosting

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00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:26,120
Speaker 4: mouse in white upright. It is so silly because it's

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00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,120
Speaker 4: not an impossible task. I haven't searched high and low

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00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,480
Speaker 4: or anything, but I have balked at spending twenty four

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Speaker 4: to fifty dollars on a ninety nine cent plush and

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Speaker 4: it's not about the cost. And I don't know why

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00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,120
Speaker 4: I'm stuck on it. I think it's because I want

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Speaker 4: my mouse, not someone else's second hand used mouse that

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00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:48,320
Speaker 4: they still think is worth fifty dollars just because it's discontinued. Now, okay.

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00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,560
Speaker 4: Isopod In ninety seven sixty nine says this is super

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Speaker 4: random and it might not scratch the itch for you.

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00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,560
Speaker 4: But I'm a sapphig who knits and sews. I can

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00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,200
Speaker 4: make you a mouse like that. Maybe that'll feel better

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00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,840
Speaker 4: to you than buying from a stranger community stepping in

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00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,240
Speaker 4: for family and all that. My dms are closed because

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00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,480
Speaker 4: I don't like randoms dming me. But if you feel

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00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 4: like that would be a solution that would fix this

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00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,960
Speaker 4: for you, just respond to this comment. I'll open my

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00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,920
Speaker 4: DMS and you can give me some more info about

339
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,000
Speaker 4: the mouse and we can figure out the details from there,

340
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,400
Speaker 4: maybe embroider you or your spouse's initials onto it somewhere

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00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,080
Speaker 4: at a little rainbow, a tiny bow tie whatever. I

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00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,880
Speaker 4: also see your use of omah and if it's any solace,

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00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,720
Speaker 4: I'm German, so in any way, you'd be getting it

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00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,360
Speaker 4: from someone from the same cultural background who can kind

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00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,760
Speaker 4: of understand what your alma would have been like. This

346
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 4: is an incredibly sweet offer and I saw it right

347
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,360
Speaker 4: after someone in Europe found one for a very palatable price.

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00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 4: If that comes through, I'm gonna be so excited. I

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00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,480
Speaker 4: haven't heard back from them. I think I kind of

350
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,720
Speaker 4: want to see what you come up with. Regardless though,

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00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,400
Speaker 4: it's such a lovely offer, and we haven't set a

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00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,040
Speaker 4: date yet, so there's no urgency. And when my community

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00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 4: rallies together, my mouse can have a friend and they

354
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 4: can be attracted to the same gender. Mie mice mie

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00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 4: gouse is symbolic a mouse a gowse with a spouse,

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00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,520
Speaker 4: a gouse spouse is also a gows Gow's mouse. If

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00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,280
Speaker 4: it's all the same to you, that is restless. Dragon says,

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00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 4: not sure if you're interested, But if you want a

359
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,440
Speaker 4: mom who loves you just the way you are at

360
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,080
Speaker 4: the wedding, let me know. That's cute. Opie says, thank

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00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,240
Speaker 4: you so much, you want a very kind over my

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00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 4: fiance and I laugh. I have no loving family, but

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00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,400
Speaker 4: as the child of an amicable divorce, my partner has

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00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:25,160
Speaker 4: four loving parents who co parented really cohesively and continue

365
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 4: to do so. That means he entered the relationship with

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00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,760
Speaker 4: enough family for the both of us, because between the

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00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,400
Speaker 4: parents and the seven siblings it averages out to a

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00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,400
Speaker 4: normal amount of in laws for a couple to have.

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00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,720
Speaker 4: They're just awe of his side. However, they feel like

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00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,600
Speaker 4: my family already, and with the way that they've embraced me,

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00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 4: I feel very fortunate in that way. Lepa says, I

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00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 4: actually have one of these dm me. I'm in Finland,

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Speaker 4: but it is so light he could fly. Opie says,

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00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,040
Speaker 4: I have had in my mice accomplished. I have two

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00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,640
Speaker 4: kind of talks me. If you would still very much

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00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,640
Speaker 4: like to send me one, I am accepting them as

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00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,920
Speaker 4: a symbol of how community has embraced us when my

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00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 4: family did not. And I am thinking about writing a

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00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,080
Speaker 4: small sign of explanation of how we lost the original

380
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 4: mouse to time. I just don't even want to think

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Speaker 4: about my nasty family, and wonderful people around the world

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00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,679
Speaker 4: saved our day to source replacements for us. I am

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00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,960
Speaker 4: of the opinion that the more the merrier, but I

384
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,119
Speaker 4: have the mice. I need to have my perfect day

385
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,640
Speaker 4: and to memorialize my ole mom. If your mouse will

386
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,680
Speaker 4: be missed, please keep it in your home and we

387
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,120
Speaker 4: do have an edit.

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Speaker 2: Keep your mice indoors. We have an edited lot Swedish

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Speaker 2: mouse Mafia.

390
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,440
Speaker 4: So many support of mice here.

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00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,359
Speaker 3: I just have to point out that Josephine earlier in

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Speaker 3: the chat commented in all caps it's.

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Speaker 4: A rat wedding.

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00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 2: Oh my god, rat wedding of mice and men of mice.

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Speaker 4: Of mice. We do have another edit that is the

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Speaker 4: day after the original post edits number three. Three wonderful

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00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 4: people have found solutions to my mouse problem. When initially

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00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,120
Speaker 4: I came here primarily to grieve in a community who

399
00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 4: would not focus on the part, but rather the mouse part.

400
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,880
Speaker 4: I even have been offered a solution that includes something

401
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,200
Speaker 4: so meaningful and moving that I am not mentioning it

402
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,920
Speaker 4: in this edit because I want it to be a

403
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,600
Speaker 4: surprise and I don't want my fiance to accidentally spoil

404
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 4: it for himself if he finds this post. I am

405
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,040
Speaker 4: in absolute tears and I'm not the easy crier in

406
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 4: this relationship. Thank you, folks so much words cannot express.

407
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 4: We've got another addit. I have now received offers of

408
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 4: five mice yes, which has reminded me of the strength

409
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,440
Speaker 4: of the community in times that I have found quite

410
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:37,000
Speaker 4: bleak recently. Because of that, I would like to extend

411
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,080
Speaker 4: invitations to any gossip mouse who would like to attend

412
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 4: my wedding as a visual reminder that family other people

413
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 4: who show up for you, no matter what that ends

414
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:47,960
Speaker 4: up looking like, we will be including a small sign

415
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,440
Speaker 4: explaining that our original mouse was lost a time to

416
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,679
Speaker 4: avoid addressing my lousy family, and that people from our

417
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,800
Speaker 4: community from around the world wanted to help make sure

418
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 4: my oma was honored and our day was perfect. Regardless,

419
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,119
Speaker 4: I am, of course happy to pay travel expenses and

420
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 4: shipping for any mouse who wants to attend our wedding.

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00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,440
Speaker 4: Please do not feel obligated, as I have substantially more

422
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,359
Speaker 4: mice than anticipated and more than I needed. My heart

423
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 4: is full.

424
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:10,640
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

425
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 4: I am only telling my fiance about one mouse, and

426
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,720
Speaker 4: the rest will be a surprise to him on our

427
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 4: wedding day. Some of Opie's comments this ideal let four

428
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:23,119
Speaker 4: thirty nine said, Hi, we're in the Fountain Pen community together,

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00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 4: So I just want to say mazeltop on your engagement.

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00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,200
Speaker 4: From another queer Jew who has inky fingers, Opie says,

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00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,199
Speaker 4: thank you so much. This post that I typed up

432
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 4: in a moment of just cranky grief on the very

433
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,959
Speaker 4: first day of wedding planning has brought me such unexpected

434
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,360
Speaker 4: joy in community in unexpected places. Ninety sixty five says,

435
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 4: your Alma's love is always with you, even though you

436
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 4: won't have the mouse, Opie says, but the beautiful thing

437
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 4: is we will have mice, not the original one, but fairy, loving,

438
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 4: gifted replacements from this community. I cannot put into words

439
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 4: how surprised and grateful I am to the wonderful and

440
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,119
Speaker 4: thoughtful people here who are stepping in to be the

441
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,920
Speaker 4: helpers that my family just aren't. Author one twenty four

442
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,080
Speaker 4: says it's no less and you deserve. I wish you

443
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 4: and your future husband a beautiful wedding day and a

444
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 4: wonderful life together. Opie says, well, good news, we already

445
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,680
Speaker 4: have checked one of those boxes. I moved to his

446
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 4: state to flee DV and get back on my feet

447
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 4: a few years ago and met him some months after.

448
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 4: He has patiently and generally transformed how I think about

449
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,440
Speaker 4: myself and helped me build safety and independence even outside

450
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,159
Speaker 4: of him. Now we have a beautiful home. My dogs

451
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 4: adore him and he adores them, and no small feet.

452
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 4: Their high drive, high energy working dogs and can be

453
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 4: intense to people used to companion dogs. And I have

454
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,719
Speaker 4: never felt so comfortable and understood in a friendship, let

455
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 4: alone a romantic relationship. We have learned how to integrate

456
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 4: and navigate my trauma from growing up with a total

457
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 4: loser parents with the help of therapy and patient practice.

458
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 4: This is definitely the most beautiful season of my life,

459
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 4: and not because it's been easy or free from pain

460
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,439
Speaker 4: or difficult periods. I'm sure that we will check off

461
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 4: the other item too, Okay, and then on March twenty three,

462
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 4: twenty twenty five, ohp says, I have rather lost count

463
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 4: of how many of mice are arriving on this very moment.

464
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,120
Speaker 4: I have been weep all year because of how much

465
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,879
Speaker 4: I missed my oma and how much I wish I

466
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 4: could talk to her, And this feels like a hug

467
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 4: from her. With the help from strangers. Even before the wedding,

468
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 4: we do have an update to a centil mental detail

469
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 4: my parents try to wrap from me.

470
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 2: This is a heartwarmer? Really is warmer de wormer this

471
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 2: update that's just just reviewed saying all the same stuff.

472
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, but to Anny, who I came to share how

473
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,400
Speaker 4: heartbreaking the estrangement for my family is during the time

474
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 4: in my life that should be shared with my loved ones.

475
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 4: I came to wind the My admittedly lazy search online

476
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 4: to replace my step mouse turned up expensive or subpar substitutes.

477
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,160
Speaker 4: I expected others to share similar stories of lackluster family

478
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 4: and maybe give creative ideas and how to honor my

479
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 4: almost memory another way. Instead, the wonderful people in this

480
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 4: community overwhelmed me with an outpouring of kindness and support.

481
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,320
Speaker 4: I had people source me exact substitutions for my Alma's mouse,

482
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 4: and offers to them to me from around the world,

483
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 4: over three continents. I have even had two people offered

484
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 4: a handmake some replica ice. I have stuffed my flooding,

485
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 4: my mailwox, and I am so overwhelmed with gratitude and

486
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 4: of no words for the impact that this has to be.

487
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 4: Right now, I intend to create a display with all

488
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,959
Speaker 4: the mice and a little map from where each one

489
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 4: came from.

490
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:14,439
Speaker 3: That is so cute, little traveling mice. Yeah, to make

491
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 3: a diorama for each mouse, for each location.

492
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 2: This is how the Black Plague started. The mice, mice dioramas, mice,

493
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,160
Speaker 2: mice traveling the world. Of course, of course you'll say

494
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 2: the Black Plague started with a man.

495
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 4: You you're crazy After our wedding, I plan and putting

496
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 4: them in a shadow box and framing them somewhere in

497
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 4: our home. There are still more mice on the way

498
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 4: to me. One is hanging out with my best man,

499
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 4: and another is with a friend of mine closer to

500
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 4: where we are about to move. I am just floored.

501
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 4: Thank you all truly for all your kind words and

502
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 4: your mice, and reminder that family are the people who

503
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 4: show up for you, not the people who give you

504
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 4: genetic material and on the thing, there's an image of

505
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 4: a cute group of stuffed mice. Oh, he says. This

506
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 4: is all reminding me that my family's approval of actually

507
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,640
Speaker 4: not a goal of mine, and that joy is everywhere

508
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,400
Speaker 4: if I look for it. Commenter says this is adorable.

509
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 4: I'm sorry about what your parents have put you through.

510
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 4: Are you still accepting are ke and mice? Another commenters says,

511
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 4: full body goose bumps. Well, I am deeply sorry for

512
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 4: the pain you feel from the heartache your family has cause.

513
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,439
Speaker 4: I'm delighted that the entire world joined forces to.

514
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 5: Cheer you on.

515
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,399
Speaker 4: Congratulations. Ohp he says. I have my oma, who was

516
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 4: very progressive and always proud me for me, and even

517
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 4: when I left my family, she made sure I knew that.

518
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 3: So.

519
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 4: Another commentary says, my first thought was rats, but I

520
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 4: spend too much time on the internet. I'm so glad

521
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 4: that people came through for you. Op responds they can

522
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,880
Speaker 4: beat rats for you. Ikia calls them rats very technically

523
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 4: if you want to mince hairs. I thought of them

524
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 4: as mice, but they're apparently listened as rats. My partner

525
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 4: and I are close enough for me.

526
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 2: Wait, oh, so it's official. We've got men and rats

527
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 2: for the wedding.

528
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 4: But we do have another updates. Oh mg, hi to

529
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 4: the best of red update people. I never expected one

530
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 4: of my posts to blow up like that, posting this

531
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 4: one because it feels like bloatt to the LGBT weddings feed.

532
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 4: I'll post the next pix update here, probably in October.

533
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 4: We finally have a date set for our wedding, which

534
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 4: if you saw my previous posts, we didn't. You're still

535
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 4: accepting mice, and I've opened it to all colors of

536
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 4: gossiing mice and any variety of homemade mice, So now

537
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 4: I can finally tell y'all mice who cannot find airfare

538
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 4: before October first likely won't be able to attend our wedding.

539
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 4: This wedding has been so emotionally fraught for me. The

540
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,919
Speaker 4: enormous joy and redemption I and by extension, my partner

541
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 4: have experienced has brought so much insulation from the anguish

542
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 4: in the outside world because I get to sit in

543
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 4: my very silly stuffed mouse and wedding planning bubble. When

544
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 4: I think about it, I went from worrying that my

545
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 4: side of the wedding would look humiliatingly sparse, to wondering

546
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 4: if we would have enough mice to put mice in

547
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,920
Speaker 4: the seats that felt too empty. These mice have felt

548
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 4: like a very tangible expression of something that I've had

549
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 4: to have my whole life, creative problem solving in the

550
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 4: face of a really lousy family who refused to celebrate

551
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 4: me or anything about me, even on the most joyous

552
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 4: moments of my life, and the people who have shown

553
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 4: up time and time again to help me when I've

554
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 4: needed it. My family of origin sure haven't done it,

555
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,120
Speaker 4: but there have always been people available somewhere. This time,

556
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 4: it feels like there's people literally in every corner of

557
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 4: the globe looking to help us. It's a little unbelievable.

558
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 4: I had to spill the beans about the mice to

559
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 4: my partner. Originally they were keeping it a secret. We're

560
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 4: both going through a lot because of stuff related to

561
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 4: the wedding and surrounding the wedding, a lot of it

562
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 4: having to do with family drama and current politics. Wouldn't

563
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 4: you know, planning an interfaith wedding when your entire family

564
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,120
Speaker 4: voted for not that and has yet to voice any

565
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 4: disapproval of any of it is emotionally draining. He was

566
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 4: just running out of steam anytime we talked about it. Yes,

567
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 4: I'm still getting married, Yes this year, but so discouraged

568
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 4: that he couldn't just have his big, happy family around

569
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 4: without trauma. So one evening I just brought the box

570
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 4: full of mice in from the garage and held it

571
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 4: in my lap and explained it to him. He already

572
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 4: knew about Almah's mouse and that I replaced one. I

573
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,639
Speaker 4: explained that I went online toy and that y'all didn't

574
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 4: take it as whiny but embraced me instead, And then

575
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 4: I started just throwing mice into his lap, one at

576
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 4: a time and explaining that I got mouse after mouse

577
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,159
Speaker 4: after mouse because you folks would just not let it go,

578
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 4: that I just needed one, because y'all wanted our joy

579
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 4: to overflow, not just see minimum needs met. I explained

580
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 4: that when gifting mice to him, it was my way

581
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 4: of reminding him that if Oma was around, she would

582
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 4: have loved him. And he's part of my family now too,

583
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 4: and I'm welcoming him in even if there's no one

584
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 4: else around to do it. We have a bunch of

585
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 4: mouse stand ins who will be much more civil than

586
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 4: my actual family members. Now we get to design the

587
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 4: mouse dis way together. He has such an eye for aesthetic.

588
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,959
Speaker 4: I think it's a good move. There's a little bit

589
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 4: more to this story. Shall I just wrap it right up?

590
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean I love this.

591
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 3: I want to rat wedding every day on this story,

592
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 3: this on this show. I want a story like this

593
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 3: every day.

594
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 2: Please?

595
00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:58,880
Speaker 4: Yeah?

596
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:00,719
Speaker 2: Can we have more rat weddings?

597
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 4: Cattarah rasas the rat dress?

598
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

599
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 4: Can you imagine if you got little rat suits and dresses?

600
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 2: Do you know what these are? What on my blanket?

601
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 4: Oh? Pigeons?

602
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, which are also known as as rats with wings?

603
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 4: Woo, whoa dude? Send someone?

604
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: It's a full circle moment.

605
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is.

606
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 2: Which one of these pitches is?

607
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 3: That's how that works, folks. You can't tell by sight.

608
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 3: Creative solutions to modern problems.

609
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 4: I love it. There's a little bit more. Let's go

610
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 4: ahead and wrap this all up. So we now have

611
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 4: a wedding date to This is probably the last big

612
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 4: update until October. We are still accepting MI so I'm

613
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 4: happy to assist with mouse airfare if they do not

614
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 4: travel with excess luggage. I do request that my set

615
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 4: travel to come to us come with a little note

616
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 4: that we can display as well. I originally thought about

617
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 4: cutting out the postage and making a collage of that,

618
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 4: but I didn't want to tediously censor addresses if I

619
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 4: posted pictures. I am a college artist by hobby, so

620
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 4: it would be nice to include something like that. I

621
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 4: could have to frame behind them when I display them

622
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 4: later on to remember.

623
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 2: You all buy a slightly, says mice Window needs to

624
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 2: show his face. Mice Window.

625
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 4: One of the comments says Jesus, I can't imagine telling

626
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 4: someone that they don't deserve a one dollar stuffed mouse

627
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 4: that they didn't even pay for for one of the

628
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 4: most important days of their life. Opi says. This comes

629
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 4: from the same parents who told me I didn't deserve

630
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 4: a medically necessary shoulder surgery because it was too expensive,

631
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 4: but refuse to take on any kind of financial assistance

632
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 4: because it was beneath them to take handouts. This was

633
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 4: before I even came out, as they simply were uniquely

634
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 4: unsuited to be parents. And that is the end of

635
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 4: that lovely mouse story. Lovely lovely mouse story.

636
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 2: Hey's John og host.

637
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 3: We don't get back to the stories, but a quick

638
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 3: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

639
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 4: My partner and I bought a house, but I'm expected

640
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 4: to pay back the loan.

641
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, you bought the house.

642
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 4: It makes sense you not us. You. I am more

643
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 4: than expecting ninety nine percent of these comments to be

644
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 4: this is why you shouldn't buy a house with someone

645
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 4: before you are married. I deserve them. However, I really

646
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 4: would like an outsider's perspective on this as well. I

647
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 4: think I'm going crazy over this and have never experienced

648
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 4: something so hard. By the way, this comes from house Regrets,

649
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

650
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 4: to the our slash Okay story time separreddit. So I

651
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 4: have been with my boyfriend for two years. We've lived

652
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 4: together for one We have just purchased a home together.

653
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 4: Cooling off period has passed and we're just waiting for

654
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 4: the settlement. The scenario that I'm in, his family offered

655
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 4: a lot of money for a deposit, and so we

656
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 4: had a really good head start. Our loan was lower

657
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 4: and our interest was therefore lower. In no way do

658
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 4: I think that money is mine.

659
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 3: It is his.

660
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 4: And we discussed that if we were to break up

661
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 4: and sell the house, he would get his percentage straight back,

662
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 4: it wouldn't be owned fifty to fifty. It would be

663
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 4: skewed to what I could deposit and what was deposited.

664
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 4: We were going to draw up a contract in the

665
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 4: event that this happened. What ended up happening after the

666
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 4: cooling off period was that his dad sent through spreadsheets

667
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 4: showing what my repayments would be and what his would be.

668
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 4: Given the difference in deposits, I was paying at least

669
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 4: three times as much in this blindsided me. This is

670
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 4: an email I have sent him explaining why I'm so upset.

671
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 4: I hope that helps the show where my mindset is at.

672
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 4: I feel hurt because I feel blindsided, take an advantage of,

673
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 4: and like you don't care about me in this situation

674
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 4: or me in this relationship, slash us as a couple.

675
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 4: I feel blindsided because there are four things that were misleading. One,

676
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 4: when I sent through our budget on what we would

677
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 4: be paying should we move forward, they were equal amounts.

678
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 4: You did not say anything except for the fact that

679
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 4: we both agreed that it was within our budgets. Two,

680
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 4: when you said that you wanted to discuss this further

681
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 4: with me, I told you to present something. I told

682
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 4: you to talk to your dad, get me something to review,

683
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 4: and we will chat about it. Because we didn't have

684
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 4: anything to discuss without this information. You never did that three,

685
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 4: when you said you wanted to discuss further again, I

686
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 4: mentioned that I was stressed with what I was doing

687
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 4: to set it all up, and if it's just about

688
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 4: how we split the ownership of the house, if we

689
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 4: were to break up, then surely that can happen when

690
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 4: everything has settled in a couple of weeks. You agreed

691
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 4: and said it was fine for when we actually applied

692
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 4: for and got the loan alone, is a debt to

693
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 4: the bank that we are both responsible for equally. If

694
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 4: we default on the loan, they come after both of us,

695
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 4: not me for seventy percent and you for thirty percent.

696
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 4: All these things, in addition to the discussion that we

697
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 4: did actually have, led me to believe that we needed

698
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 4: to put an agreement in place for a situation that

699
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,719
Speaker 4: would only occur in the event that we break up,

700
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 4: not that we would split the payments to seventy one

701
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 4: dollars a week from you and two hundred and twenty

702
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 4: six dollars a week from me. Even if you wanted

703
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 4: to discuss these figures and alter them. That was not

704
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 4: what was implied to me. You did not tell me.

705
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 4: And similarly, if your dad had it in his mind

706
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 4: that this was going to happen, I feel that someone

707
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 4: should have told me this was the case, and I

708
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 4: would have never gone ahead with it. I even sent

709
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 4: your dad to the budget too, and if he had

710
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 4: an issue with it, it should have been clarified then

711
00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 4: and there. The reason I feel taken advantage of is

712
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 4: because you have a loan with your dad that is

713
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 4: interest free. You may not even pay it back. You

714
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 4: said you will try. Oh yeah, I'll try to pay back,

715
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 4: try to pay back to my dad.

716
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 2: That's my red flag right there.

717
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 4: Yeah right. I feel like if the dad is giving

718
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 4: out this money and then charging OP for all this money,

719
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 4: I feel like, oh.

720
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 5: Kay, the boyfriend has no idea what the way? He

721
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 5: just got like, oh yeah, he doesn't understand the way

722
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 5: of any of this. Yeah, And the dad might eventually

723
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 5: just be like, A, I don't worry about it. You

724
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 5: don't have to pay me back.

725
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 2: So I mean, good for them with that circase.

726
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 5: But this is weird.

727
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 4: That's fair for sure. You have altered three payments in

728
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 4: a way that I am paying off the amount of

729
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 4: money loaned by your dad plus interest, and you benefit

730
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 4: by getting a lower repayment, which I again am covering

731
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 4: the difference. I am actually offended by this. The reason

732
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 4: I think you don't care about me is because, honestly,

733
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 4: the way this was all gone about was awful. Similarly,

734
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 4: you cannot understand why I am upset. You tell me,

735
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,120
Speaker 4: do you really think that I would just hand you

736
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 4: half of my money? That's one of the most awful

737
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 4: things that you could say. It shows greed and selfishness,

738
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 4: because of course I would not want half of your money.

739
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 4: If we were to split, you would get your fair amount,

740
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 4: so I wouldn't be taking a cent of it. We

741
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 4: are a couple, we are growing a life together. Everything

742
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 4: about the scenario shows you exhibit no empathy towards me,

743
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 4: or faith in our relationship lasting, or interest in working

744
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 4: together as a couple. Wow, there's still a couple. I

745
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 4: think maybe it's not gonna last very long after I

746
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 4: thought in the beginning they broke up. No, so this

747
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 4: is all. They have been together for a couple of years,

748
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 4: lived together for one Now they're getting a house, and

749
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 4: so this is all discussions. If they were to break up,

750
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 4: what would happen to the house. That's the discussion. Okay, Yeah,

751
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 4: I'm just wondering how different this would go if it

752
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 4: was in person rather than a conversation, like you could

753
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,719
Speaker 4: type it out read it in front of the person.

754
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 5: Maybe also say we get a house and my parents

755
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 5: put down a loan, I mean, or vice versa, your

756
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 5: parents put down the loan, whoever's parents put down the loan.

757
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 5: I'm probably thinking the other half would sell that part

758
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 5: of the house to them back to the parents. Or yeah,

759
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 5: so we got a house, we broke up, then I

760
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 5: would probably be like, I'll buy your share. M you

761
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 5: see what I'm saying.

762
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I would understand that, like whoever wants the

763
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 4: house would just.

764
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 5: Buy it, not like oh this other split. Things are

765
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 5: gonna work because you guys are broken up and you're

766
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:31,919
Speaker 5: still gonna live together.

767
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,760
Speaker 4: Very complicated situde. I'm just scared of what the reaction

768
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 4: is going to be after this. Yeah, seems like a

769
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 4: little bit of a scam, but there is a little

770
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 4: bit more to the email. So please also consider if

771
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 4: this situation was reversed and if it was my mom

772
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 4: who put in a significant amount, I would not do

773
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,879
Speaker 4: this to you, and neither would Mom. Points to mention.

774
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 4: I know for a fact that if the situation was reversed,

775
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 4: my mom would not present him with a spreadsheet. We

776
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 4: rent a house from her at a significantly lower rate

777
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 4: than what it would be, and we both get that discount.

778
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 4: She hasn't skewed it, so I pay less and he

779
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 4: pays more. We share it equally. We have had a

780
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 4: conversation after this email, and he basically said that he

781
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 4: wants to treat this as a business venture. We have

782
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,399
Speaker 4: been together for two years, so he is not sure

783
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 4: about me. I said, we are building life together. I

784
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 4: am blindsided by this, and you would get all your

785
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 4: money back if we broke up. I don't see why

786
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 4: we can't stick to the original agreement. He said that

787
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 4: we really didn't discuss it properly, and that was always

788
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 4: his intention. His intention was to buy half a house each.

789
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 4: I wanted to buy a home and build it together,

790
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 4: and if worst came to worse, he'd be protected. Am

791
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 4: I being ridiculous?

792
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 3: Edit?

793
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 4: Thank you all so much for the feedback. I did

794
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 4: comment this when I was sorting everything out this afternoon.

795
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 4: But I have asked his parents to reduce what they

796
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 4: are putting in, and my mom has done everything that

797
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 4: she can do to access the funds to match. She

798
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 4: is awesome. It's now even funds are sorted in relation

799
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 4: to what is going to happen with us as a couple.

800
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 4: I don't know. He is spending the weekend with his parents,

801
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,720
Speaker 4: so I can try not to use emotions as strongly

802
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 4: as I am now. I am not sure that I

803
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 4: can get over this. He is going to counseling with me,

804
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 4: and I hope that that will help. I am willing

805
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 4: to try. If not, the house can go back on

806
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 4: the market or one of us can buy the other out.

807
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 4: I have dedicated another six months of my life to

808
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 4: sort this out, as the location in the house that

809
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 4: we snagged was awesome, so we should be able to

810
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 4: walk away if not in the exact same scenario we

811
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 4: went in with, or better, I do not know what

812
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 4: will happen with our families. My mom is disgusted, his

813
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 4: parents think I'm flaky and they're hurt. He said this

814
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 4: weekend that he wanted to post his version after reading

815
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 4: these replies, and he feels that he came across as

816
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 4: a villain. I don't know how it will differ. I

817
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,320
Speaker 4: really think I was as objective as I could be,

818
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 4: especially including verbatim what my email concerns were. But I

819
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 4: will link it here when he does. Thank you for

820
00:36:57,719 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 4: helping me and giving me an outlet. I have of

821
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 4: obviously told my mom, but am too embarrassed to talk

822
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,919
Speaker 4: to friends right now. I do appreciate even the people

823
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 4: that told me that I'm being ridiculous by getting upset. Oh,

824
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 4: and we do have an update.

825
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 5: I'm a little worried about Bro going to his parents'

826
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 5: house for the weekend. I'm gonna clear my head out,

827
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 5: go to my parents and figure this out myself.

828
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 4: Yeah. I'm not saying that that's like a clear sign

829
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 4: that there's a breakup coming, but I will say that

830
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 4: in a lot of stories we've read, usually people don't

831
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 4: go to the parents' house unless someone like cheated or

832
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 4: something like that. Not saying cheating is happening, yeah, but

833
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,360
Speaker 4: it's just the fact. It's usually like there's a problem,

834
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 4: we're not doing well, I need space.

835
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's totally fine.

836
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 4: M hmm.

837
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 5: It's just the fact the quarrel is happening, yeah, to

838
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 5: parents and him. So he's definitely not gonna be Oh,

839
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 5: whatever I think is gonna happen. No, it's gonna be

840
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 5: whatever the parents think is gonna happen. But we do

841
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 5: have an update.

842
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 4: So I really wanted to say. It's such a since here.

843
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 4: Thank you for the support I really had broken when

844
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 4: I posted it. I do feel better and I am

845
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 4: proceeding with the fifty k each option. I have gotten

846
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 4: less upset at my significant other, and I do see

847
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,720
Speaker 4: that there was a lot of miscommunication on both sides.

848
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 4: He saw it as we are buying half of a

849
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 4: house each, and I saw it as we are buying

850
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 4: a home together. I would have never proceeded had I

851
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 4: known the intention. However, this is the situation that I

852
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 4: am in now, and I'm going to see what happens.

853
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 4: He also posted his side, which not sure if many

854
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 4: of you have seen, but he doesn't use Reddit or

855
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 4: know that he should have linked it, etc. He got

856
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 4: a lot of hate, so he deleted the body of

857
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 4: the thread. He is still adamant that he was just

858
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,399
Speaker 4: trying to be as fair as possible we both buy

859
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 4: half of a house. As for an update, it's not

860
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,320
Speaker 4: really so much what I have done since the update,

861
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 4: but what my next step is. So far, my significant

862
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 4: other is still in his parents. I have seen him

863
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 4: once since posting, and I was too mad to talk

864
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 4: about anything properly or or thoroughly. I am too mad

865
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 4: at his dad because he thinks that the whole reason

866
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 4: that I'm upset about this is a financial naivity that

867
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 4: is completely offensive to me. I am planning to message

868
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 4: my significant other, we haven't talked that much, to arrange

869
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 4: a sit down with both his parents, and I will

870
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 4: focus more on why this is a poor business deal,

871
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 4: since I don't believe that they will understand the emotional side.

872
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,799
Speaker 4: This is my course of action, and I would love

873
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 4: any amendments or suggestions. This is quite nerve wracking. I

874
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 4: want to sit down and say something along the lines

875
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 4: of these dot points. I am offended that you think

876
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,800
Speaker 4: that I'm upset because of financial naivity. I understand the

877
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,320
Speaker 4: numbers and I agree with them. If I were to

878
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 4: buy a house with a friend or an investor, I

879
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 4: would suggest the exact same thing, but not someone I

880
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 4: am in a romantic relationship with and plan to build

881
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 4: a life with. I don't understand why you think that way,

882
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 4: because I feel like if I was buying a house

883
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 4: with someone in a romantic way. I don't think that

884
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 4: would be different from like a friend or something. Maybe

885
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 4: you could talk about it differently because you have different

886
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 4: conversations in a romantic relationship, but I feel like the

887
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 4: numbers would have to be the same, you know, because

888
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:09,839
Speaker 4: you really do have to think, like, well, what if

889
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 4: everything just like went down the drade? What if everything

890
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,800
Speaker 4: just blew up for some reason, you know, not thinking

891
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 4: that that would happen, but expecting or preparing for it anyway.

892
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I don't know.

893
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,800
Speaker 4: I didn't understand I was going to be treated like

894
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 4: a business since this was a business transaction. I think

895
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 4: it was poorly executed. I said, I'm going to try

896
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 4: to pay off as much as our mortgage as I can,

897
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,359
Speaker 4: so we can pay it off sooner and pay less

898
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 4: in the long run. Significant others name boyfriend's response to

899
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 4: this spreadsheet presented to me, Well, you were always going

900
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 4: to pay more. You said that this is just set

901
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,839
Speaker 4: out in a weekly payment structure, which just makes more sense. Well,

902
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,800
Speaker 4: it is not the same as what I said, because

903
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 4: with me paying more the way you have presented, it

904
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 4: doesn't pay off the mortgage sooner. I was misled. I

905
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 4: also said, if this is just about what happens when

906
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 4: we break up and split the house, then why can't

907
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 4: we do it after the dust had settled. Boyfriend was

908
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 4: always going to have more equity in the house. Similarly,

909
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 4: Boyfriend said that he wanted us to all sit down

910
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 4: and talk about this, and my unwillingness to do so

911
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 4: is what caused this confusion. However, I sent the dad

912
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 4: our fortnitingly budget the stamp duty costs prior to signing

913
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,399
Speaker 4: for the loan, a spreadsheet comparing the different interest rates.

914
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,720
Speaker 4: Plus I was at every family tea this occurs every Wednesday.

915
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 4: They are British, by the way, for this whole process.

916
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 4: And even so, there was nothing stopping you setting this

917
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 4: through earlier, picking up the phone or emailing me, since

918
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 4: it was always your intention if you wanted it to

919
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 4: be a business transaction, I was unaware that it was.

920
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 4: You should have presented the terms and conditions to me

921
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 4: prior to signing anything, and I would have rejected your terms.

922
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,839
Speaker 4: We also got a joint and loan. We are both

923
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 4: in debt to the bank on that loan equal which

924
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 4: means that we would pay it back equally. If I

925
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 4: had known that this was how you expected it to go.

926
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 4: No way would I have gotten a joint loan. We

927
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 4: should have gotten two separate loans. I can't believe that

928
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 4: you allow this to proceed knowing what you did. I

929
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 4: never wanted a cent of your money. If we broke up,

930
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,280
Speaker 4: you would have gotten every cent back, plus profit and interest.

931
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,879
Speaker 4: You would have more equity in the house, you would

932
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 4: get more. You would not have gotten back exactly one

933
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 4: hundred forty five thousand dollars extra. Because I do understand

934
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 4: the time value aspect of money, it's offensive to suggest

935
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 4: that I don't. My boyfriend also said that it's concerning

936
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 4: that I feel that I should benefit from this and

937
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 4: it's a gift to him, and that he's the one

938
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 4: that benefits. That shows me how he feels about the relationship,

939
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 4: because I want him to benefit wherever we both can.

940
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 4: My mom gave both of us a discounted rent, and

941
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 4: she did make him pay the market price. If the

942
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 4: situation was reversed, I would never have gotten about it

943
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 4: this way. This has shaken our relationship to the core

944
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 4: because we both clearly have different values. I want to

945
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,760
Speaker 4: be a team and he wants us to be completely

946
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,760
Speaker 4: individual people that won't be a team until we're married.

947
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 4: That's not the relationship I want to be in, and

948
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 4: the relationship I want to be in my boyfriend doesn't.

949
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 4: I think it's a fantastic thing what you're doing to

950
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 4: help boyfriend out, but to suggest that I'm upset because

951
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 4: of financial naivity is just so ridiculous to me. This

952
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 4: talk will hopefully happen on Thursday. I am a nervous wreck.

953
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 4: My significant other will be there, as well as both

954
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 4: of his parents. I need to show I will not

955
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 4: be walked over. I need to also make it known

956
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,800
Speaker 4: that he is not controlling my life. I have no

957
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 4: idea the outcome of this, but I'm hoping that I

958
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 4: gain respect from this approach. I'm hoping that with his

959
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 4: mom there, the most emotional out of the bunch, my

960
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 4: side will get across. My mom has also asked me

961
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 4: to organize his mom to meet with her on Saturday,

962
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,360
Speaker 4: and then I want to try and see my significant

963
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,879
Speaker 4: other on Sunday. I want to hug him. I want

964
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 4: this to just be a blip in the road. Depending

965
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 4: on how all this goes, I do this final sign

966
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 4: off on Monday. If I am happy and comfortable to

967
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 4: move forward. Thank you so much for helping me get

968
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 4: through the most difficult week of my life. I still

969
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 4: don't sleep well and have cried a few times, but

970
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 4: I honestly don't know what I would be doing if

971
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 4: I didn't originally post here. I feel so much stronger

972
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 4: and I'm ready to stand up for myself this week.

973
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:22,239
Speaker 4: If anyone has any suggestions on my approach. I know

974
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 4: this is more directed at the dad, but I really

975
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,360
Speaker 4: am at a loss as to how myself and significant

976
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 4: other deal with this, so I haven't said much, and unfortunately,

977
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 4: I'm hoping that therapy will be the answer. I would

978
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 4: love to hear it and we do have an update.

979
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 4: Do you think that she's going about this in a

980
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,399
Speaker 4: good way? All that stuff that she would say is good.

981
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, because she's on a misunderstanding of how people were

982
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 5: treated and it doesn't seem like she's getting the same treatment. Yeah,

983
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 5: because family is involved on both sides. When her family's evolved,

984
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 5: it was fair, whenever his family's evolved. Nah, doesn't seem

985
00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 5: super fair, right exactly. She just speaking her mind, and yeah,

986
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 5: this would shake me to my core. I'm a little disappointed.

987
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 5: The boyfriend thinking it's not a team effort, because I mean,

988
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 5: relationships are team effort if you're looking to marry someone

989
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 5: and I don't even know if this guy wants a marrier.

990
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:13,880
Speaker 4: He doesn't even know either. I mean he said, like

991
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 4: this is a business venture because I'm not sure.

992
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:17,439
Speaker 3: Yeah.

993
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 5: I know someone that got a rental property the boyfriend

994
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 5: they broke up and now they're like settling it, and

995
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 5: it's like it seems.

996
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 4: Pretty so messy. Like I understand that, like living together

997
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 4: before getting married is a great way to go about things,

998
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 4: because you know, living together is a big part of

999
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 4: your relationship and like that that can say a lot

1000
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 4: about how you guys interact. But at the same time,

1001
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 4: like I'm not gonna move into with someone less like

1002
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure I'm gonna marry him. Yeah you know

1003
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,280
Speaker 4: what I mean, Like that's just like very big commitment.

1004
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,880
Speaker 4: So I'm updating because I really appreciate all the advice,

1005
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 4: and I really mean that. I had a few people

1006
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:58,760
Speaker 4: telling me that I wasn't listening to the overwhelming response

1007
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 4: and not to go through with it. Whilst I agree

1008
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 4: that I looked really stupid and wanted to try, I

1009
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 4: genuinely was taking everything on board together. Whether I acted

1010
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 4: on it or it seemed like a disagreement, I just

1011
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:12,960
Speaker 4: really wanted that to be known. This is exactly why

1012
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 4: I love this community. Anyway, on to the update we

1013
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,800
Speaker 4: went through with it. I am currently sitting in the

1014
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 4: lounge room of the new house. Oh wow, No, that's

1015
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 4: not the update I was speaking. They were gonna get

1016
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 4: she seems like I go with the flow type of

1017
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 4: chick and this is something you should not go with

1018
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 4: the flow on. Well, I just wonder, I mean, she's

1019
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 4: trapped herself. I want to know how that conversation went,

1020
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 4: and I think we're gonna find out. Okay, got the

1021
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 4: quick rundown of what happened at dinner where I confronted them. Basically,

1022
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 4: that's the main outcome of the dinner. So my significant

1023
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 4: other went to them too late for help, which in

1024
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 4: my opinion is still none of their business. But he

1025
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:55,319
Speaker 4: did ask, he apologized for everything. We are still going

1026
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 4: to couple's therapy at the start of January because clearly

1027
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 4: there's a miscommunication issue here and I'm really excited to

1028
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 4: keep working on everything. So really that's sort of apparently

1029
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 4: they weren't trying to go behind my back. With how

1030
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 4: they expected the money to be split. His dad only

1031
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 4: said that there needed to be a set of rules

1032
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 4: in place for people who are buying a house that

1033
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,320
Speaker 4: weren't married. He didn't bring it up at the family

1034
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 4: weekly tea because he said that it wasn't his business.

1035
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 4: It was up to us to ask him for any

1036
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 4: advice that we wanted. I didn't want any, so it

1037
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 4: fell on my partner's head to ask if needed be.

1038
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,360
Speaker 4: My significant other went to him after we signed a

1039
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 4: contract to ask for advice, and he came up with

1040
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 4: one scenario way too late in the game. I think

1041
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,879
Speaker 4: that scenario that he came up with was unfair, which

1042
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:41,800
Speaker 4: was paying different mortgage repayments, and after telling him the

1043
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 4: dad what I thought if we broke up he would

1044
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 4: have more equity, he actually agreed that my way was fair,

1045
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 4: if not more. After this, my significant other and I

1046
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 4: had a big discussion where he profusely apologized was embarrassed

1047
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 4: that I organized the gas, electricity bank meetings, real estate, etc.

1048
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 4: And knew that it was all going to come to

1049
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 4: a head when I confronted his dad. I'm not a wallflower.

1050
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 4: I hate confrontation, but I'm more than happy to do

1051
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 4: so if need be, and he was extremely anxious about it.

1052
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 4: He's an anxious person as it is. After talking to

1053
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 4: his dad more in depth, I understand his position a

1054
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 4: bit better and realize that my anger was misplaced and

1055
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 4: my significant other needs to be able to stand up

1056
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 4: to his parents better if need be. He needs to

1057
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:27,280
Speaker 4: grow up, and that he's getting much older and shouldn't

1058
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 4: really rely on them that much. He agrees and is ashamed.

1059
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 4: That is what we are working on now. There is

1060
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 4: a little bit more to the story. But do we

1061
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 4: agree with the situation that's going on? Do we think

1062
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 4: that this is like a fair situation.

1063
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 5: She confronted him, Yeah, seems like the guy and he's

1064
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 5: like man up and away, like adult up. Yeah, instead

1065
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 5: of relying on his parents to pay his part and

1066
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 5: try to pay back.

1067
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1068
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 5: It seems like he's relying on the parents in a way,

1069
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 5: and the parents there's a lot of miscommunication over Yeah,

1070
00:48:56,680 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 5: and maybe more conversations. I wouldn't feel satisfied with this.

1071
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 4: Yeah. I feel like there's almost reasoning behind her decisions.

1072
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 2: That I'm not aware of.

1073
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:09,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I don't really understand. I don't think it

1074
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 4: was explained why she thinks that if they split up,

1075
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 4: he would get more money if they're paying evenly. I

1076
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 4: don't understand that, but everyone else is like, yeah, that's fair.

1077
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,800
Speaker 4: So I feel like there's maybe something that I'm just missing,

1078
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,320
Speaker 4: but I wouldn't do that. Yeah, it's gonna warn you

1079
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 4: if we're paying evenly, we're gonna split it up evenly

1080
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 4: if need be.

1081
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

1082
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 5: This is confusing me. I don't understand this arrangement. She's

1083
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 5: more because the parents already put it down payment, so

1084
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 5: they're like, oh, just pay us back for our part

1085
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:38,240
Speaker 5: since yeah.

1086
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 4: For like making that sacrifice or something.

1087
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1088
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 4: Maybe, but there is a little bit more to the story.

1089
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 4: As much as everyone is going to tell me that

1090
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 4: this is a mistake, I just wanted to say that

1091
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 4: I'm happy I didn't give up. I'm in a great place.

1092
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 4: I have proven that I know what's right by telling

1093
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 4: his parents what I thought, which was in the last update,

1094
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 4: and his dad told me that he respected me more

1095
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,280
Speaker 4: for being such a strong woman. I'm sure that people

1096
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 4: will still tell me what I'm doing is wrong, but

1097
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 4: I feel secure. I read some stories here that are

1098
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 4: clearly awful, and I think that a lot of the

1099
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 4: reason people post here are because they already know that

1100
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 4: they should end it. However, I still do get really

1101
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 4: excited when people work it out. I hope that I'm

1102
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 4: one of those cases. I'm so appreciative of all the

1103
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 4: responses and if there's any queries, I've unpacked all day,

1104
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,359
Speaker 4: so I'm sitting here relaxing and I want to thank

1105
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 4: you for your feedback. Apologies, this isn't the ninety nine

1106
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 4: percent of advice, but I still did take it on

1107
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 4: board and love this community more than ever. I hate

1108
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 4: that in the current climate we are so spoilt for

1109
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 4: choice and if you can easily find someone else if

1110
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 4: they don't suit you at the current time. That's the

1111
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 4: same of that story. It seems like it wrapped up well,

1112
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 4: oh piece in a good space, so I'm happy for her.

1113
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 3: Good for her.

1114
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1115
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:50,720
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1116
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 4: I said something awful to my boyfriend, but I was

1117
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,359
Speaker 4: under the influence.

1118
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 2: At doesn't count. We all know it doesn't count.

1119
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 4: Before I get started, I just want to say I

1120
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,839
Speaker 4: know I epped up and I am the a hole here.

1121
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 4: My boyfriend is a wonderful human being who loves me

1122
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 4: and only deserves the best. By the way, this comes

1123
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 4: from bet Russy, and if you want to submit your

1124
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime suppredd

1125
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:19,240
Speaker 4: it so okay. So, like I said, I twenty nine female,

1126
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 4: have a wonderful, wonderful boyfriend twenty eight male, and we

1127
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 4: lived together. He had a bit of a rough time

1128
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 4: finding work, and he started a job at the post

1129
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 4: office where he works very hard and works forty to

1130
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:33,439
Speaker 4: sixty hours a week. I'm only saying this next part

1131
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 4: because it's necessary to the situation. But I make more

1132
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:39,400
Speaker 4: than he does and work fewer hours than him, and

1133
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 4: we're struggling with some unexpected finances right now and it's

1134
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 4: been causing some tension between us. Last night, I went

1135
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 4: to a bar with some coworkers and I stayed out

1136
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 4: later than I should have and came home at two

1137
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 4: thirty am pretty wasted. My boyfriend was up waiting for

1138
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,360
Speaker 4: me and told me that he was worried about me,

1139
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 4: and I asked why he stayed up, and he told

1140
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:58,800
Speaker 4: me that he was waiting for me and I shouldn't

1141
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,759
Speaker 4: be out that late on a night when I have

1142
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 4: work the next day. I don't know why this set

1143
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 4: me off, but I got very angry and told him

1144
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 4: that he had no right giving me job advice since

1145
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:13,320
Speaker 4: he doesn't have a real job and can't even afford

1146
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 4: to pull his weight like a loser. Who ouch man ouch.

1147
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 3: I gotta say, working at the post office has got

1148
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 3: to be one of the most real jobs of all time.

1149
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's some for real stuff, especially around the holidays.

1150
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 2: Yeah no, And she already said, like I know I'm wrong. Yeah, yeah,

1151
00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 2: I was wrong.

1152
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:36,239
Speaker 4: She's a little intoxic, definitely wrong. I like, I could

1153
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 4: see getting annoyed at that, being like, hey, I'm fine,

1154
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 4: Like you don't need to tell me what to do,

1155
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:42,240
Speaker 4: Like you don't.

1156
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 2: That is that is also true. It's being like what

1157
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 2: you telling me? Yeah, well, used up past your bedtime,

1158
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 2: You'll ground.

1159
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 4: It right right, Like I'm aware that it's not the

1160
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 4: ideal situation, but definitely not his way to respond. He

1161
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 4: told me that he thought I should go to bed

1162
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 4: and walked me over to my room, helps me get

1163
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,879
Speaker 4: my shoes and us off, and I just got in bed,

1164
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 4: lie down and go to sleep. But the worst part

1165
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 4: was as I was drifting off. I heard him crying

1166
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 4: in the bathroom. Oh no, that hurts my heart. That's

1167
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 4: so sad. When I woke up this morning, he had

1168
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 4: gone to work, and now I'm at work hungover, which sucks. However,

1169
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 4: I have no idea what to say to him now.

1170
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 4: He should be home tonight, but I don't know what

1171
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:25,880
Speaker 4: I can do at this point to let him know

1172
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 4: how sorry I am and how much I do admire him.

1173
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 4: And it was just acting out of wasted stress last night.

1174
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 4: He loves steak and potatoes and he's also a big

1175
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 4: movie guy, so I was thinking of making him steak

1176
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,799
Speaker 4: and potatoes and renting a movie. But I just don't

1177
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,279
Speaker 4: know any advice would be appreciated. And we do have

1178
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 4: an update. But what would you do in her situation?

1179
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 2: I mean, you just gotta say sorry?

1180
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I like the idea of having a gesture

1181
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:54,799
Speaker 4: in there, but yeah, in addition to that, definitely just apologize.

1182
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, like cooking em something could be a

1183
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 3: good way. Yeah the express you're like, you know, it

1184
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:02,800
Speaker 3: was a slip of the tongue.

1185
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, maybe try to figure out why you said that,

1186
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 4: because I think like if I was him, i'd be like,

1187
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:12,000
Speaker 4: is this just what you think of me all the time?

1188
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 3: Right? Ye know? Like, because you've now opened the door

1189
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:18,840
Speaker 3: to a much more real conversation about your relationship and

1190
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,280
Speaker 3: how y'all view each other exactly.

1191
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 4: We do have an update. So I've been meaning to

1192
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 4: write this for four days, but I have just been

1193
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:31,359
Speaker 4: completely wiped of all emotion bandwidth. My boyfriend is working

1194
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 4: hard at his job right now and is racking up

1195
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 4: some overtime, so I figured i'd take a moment to

1196
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 4: post it. First off, some information I left out of

1197
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 4: my original post, in case anyone didn't notice. I don't

1198
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:44,800
Speaker 4: respond well to booze. I have no dependency on it,

1199
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 4: but my self control and decision making are really not

1200
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 4: good when I'm wasted, and I just get extremely vicious

1201
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 4: and it brings out the absolute worst in me. Good

1202
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 4: thing to learn about yourself. On that same note, I

1203
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:58,320
Speaker 4: had a group of coworkers who have been wanting to

1204
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,919
Speaker 4: celebrate a promotion one of us got for the past

1205
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 4: two months, and Sunday it was the first time any

1206
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 4: of us were free, so we were just gonna have

1207
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 4: a Sunday afternoon chill that was gonna end before day. However,

1208
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 4: one bad decision led to another, and we all just

1209
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 4: collectively stayed up until two am with drinks. Okay, if

1210
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,759
Speaker 4: you're drinking very late the night before you have to

1211
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 4: go to work with your coworkers, kind of fun. You're

1212
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 4: all in it together. You're not really fun the next day,

1213
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 4: but at least you're with your friends.

1214
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 2: It's like, hey, you know, this just kind of happened.

1215
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, boopsop, but now we're all doing it together. Yeah exactly.

1216
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:34,800
Speaker 3: But like, yeah, if you know you're if you know

1217
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,759
Speaker 3: you're a mean drunk and don't get drunk.

1218
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 4: It's something to work on. Bad, something to work on.

1219
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 4: A second, I said what I did out of annoyance

1220
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,360
Speaker 4: I had with him regarding some financial decisions over the

1221
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,400
Speaker 4: past two years that we are now reaping the benefits of.

1222
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:51,800
Speaker 4: Long story that frankly doesn't matter because it's not about that.

1223
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 4: I'm still a little unhappy about it, and I expressed

1224
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,800
Speaker 4: that in a very unhealthy manner. I'm so proud of

1225
00:55:57,880 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 4: him pro finding a job and trying to provide for us.

1226
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 4: Now for the update. I read through the comments all

1227
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 4: afternoon and then wrote down a map of the things

1228
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 4: that I wanted to say and waited for him to

1229
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 4: get home. Additionally, I got in contact with my old

1230
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,400
Speaker 4: therapist and he was able to squeeze me in for

1231
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:15,320
Speaker 4: the following morning, so I called out of work the

1232
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 4: next day to meet him. My boyfriend finally came through

1233
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 4: the door, and I asked if we could talk, and

1234
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,600
Speaker 4: he said that I could, but he also had some

1235
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:25,160
Speaker 4: things to say. I started by saying I had no

1236
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 4: idea what to say to express how sorry I am,

1237
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 4: except that I shouldn't have said what I said, and

1238
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 4: I love him and admire him for how hard he works.

1239
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 4: I also told him that I was going to stop

1240
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,880
Speaker 4: drinking and I had an appointment with my therapist the

1241
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 4: next day. I also emphasized how much I appreciated how

1242
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,359
Speaker 4: he waited for me and helped me get into bed

1243
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 4: after I came home, and how he absolutely didn't deserve

1244
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 4: what I said. He told me that I actually covered

1245
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 4: the basis of what he was going to say. He

1246
00:56:52,280 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 4: said that he was very hurt by what I said,

1247
00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 4: but throughout the day he was thinking and said that

1248
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 4: it was so out of character for me that he

1249
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:00,360
Speaker 4: actually started to get worried.

1250
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 3: Oh.

1251
00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 4: Interesting. Both of his parents had problems with booze at

1252
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 4: one point in his life but got sober, and he

1253
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:07,320
Speaker 4: told me that he was going to tell me I

1254
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 4: needed to quit drinking and see a therapist or anger

1255
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 4: management counselor or else he couldn't stay in this relationship.

1256
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 4: WHOA wooh wow. Yeah, that pretty much is what he

1257
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 4: was saying. I told him I thought that that was

1258
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 4: very fair and sensible boundary, and I would do my

1259
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 4: best to do whatever I could. Then he asked if

1260
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 4: I could be honest and asked me if I meant

1261
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 4: when I said. I told him I was being purposely

1262
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 4: vicious because it came from a place of frustration, but

1263
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 4: I was intentionally trying to upset him, so I said

1264
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:39,480
Speaker 4: some terrible things. He said that he'd love to talk

1265
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 4: to me about that place of frustration, but that wasn't

1266
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,000
Speaker 4: the time for it. But he told me that he

1267
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 4: forgave me and was really happy and admired that I'm

1268
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 4: taking the steps to make things better, and we had

1269
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 4: a lovely long hug. Then I had a really emotional

1270
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 4: appointment with my therapist and I told him everything that happened,

1271
00:57:57,240 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 4: and he helped me map out my feelings and how

1272
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 4: to express that to my boyfriend. The appointment went great,

1273
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 4: and I have another one next week. But he thinks

1274
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 4: that I should look into seeing a psychiatrist because I

1275
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:10,680
Speaker 4: may very well have an undiagnosed mental health condition. That's

1276
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 4: the next step, definitely. On Wednesday, I had to sit

1277
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 4: down with my boyfriend where I expressed the frustrations and

1278
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 4: he told me that my feelings were valid, and frankly,

1279
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 4: he still kicks himself that he didn't start a new

1280
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 4: job earlier too, because then his credit card debt probably

1281
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 4: wouldn't be so high. And he talked about how he's

1282
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 4: always felt like he let me down with his financial decisions,

1283
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 4: with being unemployed for such long periods of time. I

1284
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:36,320
Speaker 4: won't get into it any further, but we had a

1285
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 4: really productive conversation. And you know what, you should get

1286
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 4: more into.

1287
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:45,880
Speaker 3: Rypto because that's I'm betting what that guy was into it.

1288
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,480
Speaker 3: Maybe that's my I just had to split.

1289
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:51,600
Speaker 2: That out there. He's like, financial decisions not gonna get

1290
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 2: into it. The benefits not gonna get into it.

1291
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's unemployed for a long time, not gonna get

1292
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 3: into it. Very suple theory right there. This guy was

1293
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 3: trading meme coin. Yeah, anyway, and.

1294
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 4: There is a little bit more to the story. But

1295
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 4: I love their communication.

1296
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 2: Yes, this is good.

1297
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:13,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's all good. This is great, I think. Yeah,

1298
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 4: I don't. I had something to say before, but I Crypto,

1299
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 4: you remember, I don't remember Crypto. But yeah, I feel

1300
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 4: bad that he like feels that guilt of putting them

1301
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 4: in this situation. But I don't know, it seems like

1302
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 4: they're working it out.

1303
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,640
Speaker 2: This is what working it out looks like.

1304
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think this totally is this can look like this. Oh,

1305
00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 4: I remember what I was gonna say. I really like

1306
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 4: that she's being very honest about why she was being mean,

1307
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:45,760
Speaker 4: you know, like, I really like that she wasn't like, oh,

1308
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 4: I didn't mean it, like I just said something random

1309
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 4: Like I like that she was like, I'm gonna be honest.

1310
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 4: I tried to hurt you.

1311
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, he said that to me. I got so annoyed immediately. Yeah,

1312
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 3: and I tried to say the worst thing I could

1313
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 3: say to you. Yeah, and did exactly.

1314
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:03,919
Speaker 4: I love that she's being honest about that, because like, yeah,

1315
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 4: it's a problem, but you're not gonna be able to

1316
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,880
Speaker 4: fix it as a couple if you aren't just like, yeah,

1317
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 4: I was just straight up, straight up being bad, My bad,

1318
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit more to the story. So, yeah,

1319
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 4: we're taking steps and are openly communicating with each other,

1320
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 4: and it looks like we're gonna be okay. We've been

1321
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 4: snuggling together at night, and this morning we even showered

1322
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 4: together before he went to work. I have some trust issues,

1323
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 4: so I'm still very anxious that he's going to come

1324
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 4: back and be like, wait, actually no, I don't forgive you.

1325
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 4: But he's promised me that he's going to be open

1326
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:35,680
Speaker 4: with how he feels, which he has been, So I

1327
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 4: think we're going to be okay. And there's a couple

1328
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 4: comments dinner, and an apology is not going to cut it.

1329
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 4: You struck at his heart and now you will need

1330
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:45,560
Speaker 4: to bear your own spend the day in self reflection,

1331
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 4: be honest with yourself about whatever deep ugly part of

1332
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 4: you wanted to say that to him. Kind of seems

1333
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 4: like she did all that. Yeah, yeah, I.

1334
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:58,080
Speaker 2: Don't yeah, probably just rehash and yeah.

1335
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:00,600
Speaker 4: Or before the update it or something.

1336
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:01,440
Speaker 3: But that

1337
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:04,720
Speaker 4: Is the end of that the ind of that story.