Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be.
Speaker 4: There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim to give us.
Speaker 4: Time and they turn and al and gay, we want
Speaker 4: to send you off inside.
Speaker 3: Do you wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all
Speaker 3: about every scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 3: Porn? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need ride?
Speaker 2: Ride with Karen and Chris? Hi, welcome to Do you
Speaker 2: need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks and this is
Speaker 2: Karen gl Gariff. How are you Karen?
Speaker 3: I mean I'm feeling a strong sense of discovery right
Speaker 3: now between the two of us.
Speaker 2: Oh that sounds yeah, it was. I opened the show
Speaker 2: with a real quizzical tone. I love it, like I'm
Speaker 2: ready ready to learn?
Speaker 3: Yeah, like where are we on our own podcast?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Wow? It takes place in the car. We're picking
Speaker 2: up a comic. We're taking a death to lax. That's
Speaker 2: a great idea.
Speaker 3: This is fascinating.
Speaker 2: Tell me more, well, I would accept. I'm reminded now
Speaker 2: that you thought of it, Karen.
Speaker 1: Oh, maybe that's why I asked that question.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you are experiencing extreme loss of your own memories.
Speaker 3: Which or extreme ego maniacal behavior on me.
Speaker 2: A lot of people need to have someone else say
Speaker 2: what they've done or what they've thought of to kind
Speaker 2: of boost them back up.
Speaker 1: Who in this car was on wings?
Speaker 2: It was you, Karen.
Speaker 3: Who in this car was in a European car commercial
Speaker 3: doing a stunt driving?
Speaker 2: Hey wait a minute, that was me. But I feel
Speaker 2: like you made mine seem like I'm just like a
Speaker 2: dumb stunt driver guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was trying to do.
Speaker 2: Oh so your brain that's.
Speaker 1: Trying to make you look dumb.
Speaker 2: That's another thing that ego maniacal like people do. They
Speaker 2: take other people's things. They disguise it as a compliment. Yep,
Speaker 2: and then they're like, oh, yeah, remember that posthole you digged?
Speaker 2: That was amazing. Do you still want to do a
Speaker 2: lot of post hole digging? I was fifteen, I was
Speaker 2: helping my mom's friend.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I wasn't trying to do it for a living. No, no, no,
Speaker 3: I thought you were great at it.
Speaker 2: I think it's one of the best things you've done.
Speaker 2: I mean, comedy, you should do. Comedy is great too.
Speaker 3: Comedy is good, but you excel. I mean you come
Speaker 3: alive when you dig post holes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you see immediate progress, which, let's be honest
Speaker 2: with your comedy career, there not a lot of benchmarks.
Speaker 3: Did you have one of those special shovels that has
Speaker 3: two shovels on each side to dig those postals?
Speaker 2: Yes, it is the most poorly designed tool if you
Speaker 2: don't have brand new posthole diggers. The Honestly, I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna say that the handles get floppy.
Speaker 3: Are you saying it's bad postal service?
Speaker 2: It's it really is that.
Speaker 3: Maybe there's a reason I'm so.
Speaker 2: Stuck up because you're Yeah, if you're someone that just
Speaker 2: is able to make a postal service joke out of,
Speaker 2: you know, a conversation about manual labor, Yeah, that's the
Speaker 2: kind of mind that should be.
Speaker 3: I feel like that's what we're appear to do.
Speaker 2: That's what we're trying to Your brain should be on
Speaker 2: these stilts that would otherwise hold up a fabrige, a egg,
Speaker 2: fabric fabrige.
Speaker 3: Egg like the June You know what perfume was by faberge.
Speaker 2: Brute, by fabri also by men and by men today
Speaker 2: in Los Angeles is the LA Marathon. And come on,
Speaker 2: you guys. I know you want to run until there's
Speaker 2: diarrhea running down your legs like a young Bruce Jenner.
Speaker 2: But some people still have to function in a in
Speaker 2: a metropolitan city, they insist on running through the middle.
Speaker 2: Look at this traffic. Traffic is bumper to bumper, just
Speaker 2: so some people could get some exercise within city limits.
Speaker 2: You can't take that ship to Burbank with your diarrhea shorts.
Speaker 3: Take it over. Well, I'm I live in Burbank. Let's
Speaker 3: take it to Downey. We're nothing matter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why don't you take that shit to Downey? Leave
Speaker 2: the sweet people of Bourbank, like Karen and and everyone
Speaker 2: else in legitimate Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Leave us alone, Leave us alone.
Speaker 2: I get it. You want to run, and I say
Speaker 2: diarrhea because I think of that one picture of a guy.
Speaker 2: I think he looks like a young Steve Buscemi in
Speaker 2: so much pain in the face, and he's like running
Speaker 2: towards the finish line and his legs are just coated
Speaker 2: and yeah, I've been running too hard, diarrhea.
Speaker 1: I kind of love the fact that.
Speaker 2: People, I mean, literally, where is the finish line? I'm
Speaker 2: out of curiosity. Turns out I actually want to run
Speaker 2: a marathon, and I'm angry at myself for never having
Speaker 2: the discipline or or free time. What do you I
Speaker 2: call it.
Speaker 3: The shit discipline.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'd love it. Let's wear this is officially Colon
Speaker 2: Colon the poop episode.
Speaker 1: Let's just try to weave it in.
Speaker 3: We won't tell our guest, Bridger Winger, that it's officially that.
Speaker 3: We'll just see if he catches on.
Speaker 2: Tell me a little bit about Bridger.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing his last name correctly,
Speaker 3: but he's a very good friend of mine, and that's
Speaker 3: his last name. It's Winger, yes, oh yes, winnegerk And
Speaker 3: Bridger is a Mormon name and uh it I looked
Speaker 3: it up. It's commonly the name is Bridger. A twelve truly,
Speaker 3: I think is fascinating.
Speaker 2: A twelve, A twelve with the number. Yes, the letter
Speaker 2: and the number are so all of the Bridger Mormons
Speaker 2: are like a digital human, like a robot, A twelve.
Speaker 1: I mean, we can ask him about it.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure if he is religiously Mormon or if
Speaker 3: he's just from Utah.
Speaker 1: I don't know that much about him.
Speaker 2: His name is Bridger and he's originally from Utah. Yep, Okay,
Speaker 2: it's safe to assume.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it is very safe.
Speaker 2: See up here, yep, there's a Department of Transportation ballard,
Speaker 2: some cones, and uh it's also people can getting a
Speaker 2: little exercise.
Speaker 3: Now, Christ did you ever work for the city, because
Speaker 3: I didn't know those were called ballards.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not exactly I don't know that they are.
Speaker 2: I think it's just a caution sign. A ballard, I'm incorrect.
Speaker 2: A ballard is further along the road here. Ballard is
Speaker 2: one of those yellow poles that are only made to
Speaker 2: back into in a parking lot.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, they're made.
Speaker 2: Of cement on the inside, their metal on the outside. Actually,
Speaker 2: speaking of my manual labor past, once in Austin, I
Speaker 2: was getting paid so little to feature at cap City
Speaker 2: that during the day I picked up a gig painting ballards.
Speaker 3: And I am not kidding, just one color, just yell,
Speaker 3: it wasn't because your artistic background.
Speaker 2: Drove around the city with a roller and some oil
Speaker 2: based paint. Wow, high gloss. God, they were shiny.
Speaker 1: I bet they were gorgeous ballards.
Speaker 2: I went to art school, Karen and when Yeah, I
Speaker 2: do bring that up couple times a day, and I
Speaker 2: I bring that art ability into my ballard painting, even
Speaker 2: though I know it's just a utilitarian use of paint.
Speaker 1: Look at this fool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, now you're trapped. What do you do with
Speaker 2: rules when you find out about him, lady? Do you
Speaker 2: just snap him in half like a swim gym?
Speaker 3: I love it in Los Angeles if you've never driven here,
Speaker 3: there's a lot of people who think they're going to
Speaker 3: do it their way and then like that, lady, they
Speaker 3: get trapped in a little circle of cones that somebody
Speaker 3: got out of the car and they're moving the cones.
Speaker 2: That's great, that is amazing.
Speaker 3: It's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2: I hope he had some sarcastic comments for her when
Speaker 2: he got out. So the road is closed, the road.
Speaker 3: Is closed down there. We're what we're trying to do
Speaker 3: is get right by Labret and Hollywood, so I think
Speaker 3: will be okay.
Speaker 2: Oh I thought he is a hollywoodland a.
Speaker 3: Uh, well that's it's you know, that's that block okay
Speaker 3: where the Kimmel Show is Okay, Well, he works on
Speaker 3: the Jimmy Kimmel Show.
Speaker 1: And I guess he's there for work.
Speaker 2: Today, okay, and that's where we're picking him up. Well,
Speaker 2: I certainly hope we can get to him. This is
Speaker 2: actually are you nervous?
Speaker 3: No, I don't care about anything.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, Well I'll be the one that cares because
Speaker 2: I'm gonna let it affect my you know, podcasting ability. No, no,
Speaker 2: I will. I am nervous. I'm sweating that we won't.
Speaker 2: That that was a roadblock. I know Orange will be
Speaker 2: closed to that would take us directly to him.
Speaker 1: But it's those people are turning down the street that
Speaker 1: just stops.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3: Those people don't even know what the age they're doing. Also,
Speaker 3: this is ten minutes fast, Okay, I should tell you that.
Speaker 2: Well, I know to never look at someone's car clock,
Speaker 2: because that's a trick that I've never tried on myself,
Speaker 2: where I'll wake up or see a clock and it
Speaker 2: lights a fire under my ass to hurry. Yeah, even
Speaker 2: though I know I said it, it's really ten minutes earlier. Right,
Speaker 2: I've never tried that trick on myself.
Speaker 3: It's so stupid. All it does actually is make me
Speaker 3: do math in my head while I'm trying to figure
Speaker 3: out whether or not I'm late.
Speaker 2: Which takes more time, and you're later, and I'm always late.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm irresponsible in that way.
Speaker 2: And there's nothing more time consuming than math.
Speaker 3: People I know, and stressful.
Speaker 2: Oh oh no.
Speaker 1: Okay, So here's what we're gonna say.
Speaker 2: Now you're nervous like I was.
Speaker 3: Yep, because this is truly cut off. But here's what
Speaker 3: we're gonna do. Okay, We're gonna pull over up here
Speaker 3: on Franklin and he's gonna walk over because.
Speaker 2: That's from where he's at.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he's right down there.
Speaker 2: Okay, the El Capitan is substantially down there.
Speaker 3: Yes, but he said he was on Hawthorn.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Well I don't know where he is and
Speaker 2: how did that carget? Oh my god, he's gonna have
Speaker 2: to run a little marathon of his own.
Speaker 3: This is crazy. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't I'm a little worried.
Speaker 3: I wonder if we can look back.
Speaker 2: They this is at first, and do you need a
Speaker 2: write history where we are? There are roadblocks keeping us
Speaker 2: from our guest. He is, he's in.
Speaker 3: The spot like he might have to take an uber
Speaker 3: to where we are. This is nuts. Wait, I have
Speaker 3: to call him.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, that is job one right now. Oh oh,
Speaker 2: he's going to be upset.
Speaker 3: Let's see.
Speaker 2: But just for podcasting purposes in a car, I guess
Speaker 2: we should put him on speaker. I want to hear
Speaker 2: the disappointment drama to this episode.
Speaker 1: Oh he has already texted me.
Speaker 2: Huh uh? Did he say?
Speaker 3: There's no said? Everything is a nightmare here? So I'll
Speaker 3: meet you by Sunset and Highland. Maybe that Chick fil
Speaker 3: a corner?
Speaker 2: Okay, I terrific.
Speaker 3: The thing is, can we get to the Chick fil
Speaker 3: a corner?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: Let me? Let me see is something he's writing back
Speaker 3: right now?
Speaker 2: I think I don't think anyone was prepared for how
Speaker 2: the only marathon, while making some people live longer, causes
Speaker 2: others to want to end their lives. I'm going to
Speaker 2: go that far. That's how much I don't like the marathon.
Speaker 2: It really is bizarre. This is a city that and
Speaker 2: I know it's Sunday, but people have mass. This is
Speaker 2: a marathon against Jesus.
Speaker 3: Well, what I think is super weird. Oh look at
Speaker 3: see there's a camera. I wonder if the end is
Speaker 3: near here because a cameraman from ABC seven just walk
Speaker 3: by us holding his camera.
Speaker 2: He is literally walking. Yeah, which is is this going
Speaker 2: to be our first walking podcast?
Speaker 1: No way, I'll quit this podcast.
Speaker 2: If we have to walk, and he will be quitting
Speaker 2: his flight.
Speaker 3: Well, we'll just figure this out, okay as we go.
Speaker 2: You you're calm, You've been in a situation where you've
Speaker 2: managed people. I am a manic, scared child at most
Speaker 2: points in the day.
Speaker 3: I understand that though, because uh I was just talking
Speaker 3: to somebody about that and it could have been my
Speaker 3: therapist for sure, Thank you, ma'am. How kind they still?
Speaker 2: There are some nice people.
Speaker 3: To have the kind of I think we had very
Speaker 3: similar mothers in some ways. Yes, and I have a
Speaker 3: kind of mother that would go make you do things
Speaker 3: without kind of thinking it through, so like it would
Speaker 3: be like you're fine, go do it, and then you'd
Speaker 3: get in it as a child and it would not
Speaker 3: be okay, and then you, as like an eight year old,
Speaker 3: had to figure out how to do things where there
Speaker 3: was like adults that were mad at you, right I'm
Speaker 3: specifically talking about and I just tweeted about that.
Speaker 2: Or just learn to not trust your mother.
Speaker 1: Exactly, Like this is cut off.
Speaker 2: This is cut off. Okay, this is.
Speaker 3: He's gonna have I don't know. I guess he's gonna
Speaker 3: have to walk down here.
Speaker 2: Is there any way we can get Yeah, everything is
Speaker 2: cut off.
Speaker 1: This is hilariously.
Speaker 2: How did your get to work? Because they were doing
Speaker 2: this last night? I left the Tomorrow show. Come on, yeah,
Speaker 2: with your electric hot rod. Hi, you're a pretty lady.
Speaker 2: We know that you have a winning formula, which is
Speaker 2: your face.
Speaker 1: Your face, and your your Tesla.
Speaker 2: Okay, a lot of people think Tesla ripped off Edison.
Speaker 1: Or vice versa Edison.
Speaker 3: That's right, because Tesla wanted all electricity to be free
Speaker 3: and they would not let him do that.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, okay, so still is the thing?
Speaker 3: Yes, Sorry, I'm so unclear.
Speaker 2: It's quite all right. I'm just gonna just have conversation
Speaker 2: with our audience on our own while you text. We
Speaker 2: are watching some people that are preparing for the No,
Speaker 2: this man is in it. He has no business being
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 3: These people are in it?
Speaker 2: How is this man? Look at that man sauntering, he's
Speaker 2: doing it. He has bruises on his leg from walking.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's a tattoo. It's okay, it's well, he's
Speaker 2: working out so hard that his tattoos are melting. These
Speaker 2: are all people that, Oh I could totally take that lady,
Speaker 2: the lady in Capriz. Are you kidding you're gonna take her?
Speaker 2: No one's ever accused her of being a fit. I
Speaker 2: mean normally I don't call people up, and this person
Speaker 2: treats it like some sort of a parade. Look at
Speaker 2: how she's dressed. She looks kind of like she's wearing
Speaker 2: a Von Dutch hat and a pink sports spra And
Speaker 2: I think she's pregnant.
Speaker 3: Yes, she does, look well she does. No, I bet
Speaker 3: you she just likes beer.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I'm an asshole. Then how quickly you become
Speaker 2: insensitive just by being someone with vision? I am. So
Speaker 2: it's happening right now, and it's happening on sunset. He
Speaker 2: told us to meet us on the street that the
Speaker 2: marathon is a curry, which is very impossible.
Speaker 3: It's it's literally impossible. But I think what he did
Speaker 3: was walk down from where.
Speaker 2: He was and then discover.
Speaker 3: Also, yeah, we're basically having this discovery at the same time.
Speaker 2: Oh, I see, Well, God, why they make him going
Speaker 2: to work on Sunday morning.
Speaker 3: Well, it's because it's light.
Speaker 2: That show is demanding that.
Speaker 1: Show is going to Austin.
Speaker 3: It's a daily show, okay, which so it's not Oh,
Speaker 3: look at your girlfriend back there. Oh is she here
Speaker 3: in the back of that truck.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: What's happening with that lady?
Speaker 2: She is without pants.
Speaker 3: She's not wearing pants everybody, but.
Speaker 2: There's a lady just kind of hanging out of her
Speaker 2: quite literally hanging out of the back of her She's
Speaker 2: one of those you know those vans where it's just
Speaker 2: filled to the brand with newspaper because they are just
Speaker 2: love journalism. She is that kind of a what do
Speaker 2: you call it hoarder, and but she's never hoarded a
Speaker 2: pair of sweats sweat pants apparently, so her her front
Speaker 2: but was sacking over her naked legs, and the hatch
Speaker 2: back of the van was just open, and she was
Speaker 2: on the phone, probably a new iPhone. It's always amazing
Speaker 2: when it's like, well, I because I get my phone
Speaker 2: turned off all the time, and it's like it's okay,
Speaker 2: it's normal. But that lady barely is a part of society.
Speaker 2: Yet she has everything all time, minutes and and unlimited data.
Speaker 2: But she lawyer. She has limited pants. I just I
Speaker 2: can't stop talking about how she was naked in the legs.
Speaker 2: This is we're making progress. We're at least going east,
Speaker 2: hold on oh Bridge. I just want to apologize beforehand,
Speaker 2: like crazy, yeah I remember now, I remember the La
Speaker 2: Marathon ruining my year, my day many years ago. All
Speaker 2: just so you can experience a high pulse. It's so
Speaker 2: weirel better than other people.
Speaker 1: I mean, And now the entire city.
Speaker 3: Is like this weird game where everyone is trying to
Speaker 3: see where they can get to.
Speaker 2: Oh. Yeah, they don't solve the problem. They don't provide
Speaker 2: a solution. They're just like, yeah, we hope you folks
Speaker 2: don't mind. But everything in your life has to stop.
Speaker 2: So some guy can get diarrhea pants and some greenstick
Speaker 2: fractures in his foot. And what's that Well, it's like
Speaker 2: a hairline fracture, but kind of like a highway divider
Speaker 2: instead of a ballard. Look at this, follow that, but
Speaker 2: follow those.
Speaker 1: Kids out of my way, nerds.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is very good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is much better.
Speaker 2: We are just I have a feeling we are going
Speaker 2: to have to backtrack. We've chosen a serpentine route and uh,
Speaker 2: we're gonna have to probably backtrack that way. We just
Speaker 2: got to get to that damn freeway. Yeah, oh my god,
Speaker 2: this is not looking good. This is a bunch of
Speaker 2: you turns. You're gonna have to tell him to meet
Speaker 2: us here. I think this is as close as we
Speaker 2: can get. We are on Orange's Orange and the street
Speaker 2: we're on I think Lakewood?
Speaker 3: What is this street?
Speaker 2: What is this street? Do you think that when people
Speaker 2: are like, oh, this is like what? How do you know?
Speaker 2: You're Los Angeles? There?
Speaker 1: Orange and Lakewood?
Speaker 2: Yep, We've got to that's good.
Speaker 1: He's very close here.
Speaker 2: And are we Am I about to watch this bus
Speaker 2: do a U turn.
Speaker 1: Into the back of me.
Speaker 2: Yes, he would only just be backing into you. Well,
Speaker 2: this is a very special traffic uh oriented episode of
Speaker 2: Do You Need to Ride?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: This is this is insane.
Speaker 2: A lot of times that alienates people that don't live
Speaker 2: in this city because they're like Orange and Lakewood. I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm listening to the doll up instead.
Speaker 1: I can't learn anything from this.
Speaker 2: You're fascinating?
Speaker 3: Is this is you're learning why people in La bitch
Speaker 3: so much about that?
Speaker 2: Yes? Exactly.
Speaker 1: Hold on, Can I show you something?
Speaker 3: There's kids in there that hand Look at the front
Speaker 3: wheel that has the spikes like Mad Max coming out
Speaker 3: of it.
Speaker 2: Oh, what a weird bus choice.
Speaker 1: This must be a punk rock bus.
Speaker 2: This is a school bus filled with kids. It says
Speaker 2: town ride on it, yet the wheels belong at a
Speaker 2: no means no concert.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is super weird.
Speaker 2: Look at that that is straight out of grease.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: When he chops up a tire, that is awesome. Oh
Speaker 2: I wish we got to start adding photos to our podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I could have taken one.
Speaker 1: It just backed up so closely behind me.
Speaker 2: Well we and yeah, there's a lot we need to do,
Speaker 2: and one of them is to somehow provide visuals because
Speaker 2: that was noteworthy. That was visibly noteworthy. And this guy
Speaker 2: in this overpriced Doudy, he's driving under it. He's driving
Speaker 2: under it, he's moving it with his arm, you obligated,
Speaker 2: son of a gun.
Speaker 3: But also he's not gonna get anywhere because he's going
Speaker 3: down to Sunset and it's closed.
Speaker 2: He just needs some Chick fil A or whatever's on
Speaker 2: the corner. So just tell him we're right across from
Speaker 2: the Wellness center at Hollywood High. Don't say that. That
Speaker 2: won't help him. So we so far.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm just texting with Bridgers, so I'm not helping.
Speaker 2: It's quite all right, It's quite all right. This is
Speaker 2: I knew there would be some occupational hazards with having
Speaker 2: a podcast where we pick people up, where we have
Speaker 2: to go to the airport, where we're driving. Chances are
Speaker 2: gonna get sidetracked and it's not gonna be all. You know,
Speaker 2: top can do a guest or fun. Sorry, if your
Speaker 2: podcast has to be all the time fun.
Speaker 1: Entertaining, or two people actually talking.
Speaker 2: Yes or or providing information applicable to your life, it's
Speaker 2: your fault. You don't live in Los Angeles. If you
Speaker 2: don't live in Los Angeles or New York, you're wasting
Speaker 2: your time. And you're probably happy, and you probably have
Speaker 2: a healthy family, and you're spiritually fulfilled. Like all my
Speaker 2: friends in Missoula, Montana.
Speaker 3: You don't know that they're all spiritually fulfilled.
Speaker 2: No, a lot of them are riddled with darkness. You
Speaker 2: are right.
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like that's the human condition wherever
Speaker 3: you live or wherever you go, that's that that doesn't
Speaker 3: go away because you have nice surroundings.
Speaker 2: A lot of people are chasing happiness and they think
Speaker 2: it's going to be in a relationship or in a job.
Speaker 2: It's in you.
Speaker 1: It's you know what, happiness someone I.
Speaker 2: Read this is a warm gun. I heard it, that's right.
Speaker 1: I heard that in a song.
Speaker 2: Oh, this lady needs us to do something.
Speaker 1: Too bad, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2: We're all on our own.
Speaker 3: Oh think, So Bridger is a couple of blocks away
Speaker 3: and he's walking to us. Oh, isn't that crazy? It's crazy.
Speaker 3: He's gonna walk the marathon route.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I hope does he have bags with him?
Speaker 3: Well, he's they're going to Austin for a couple of days,
Speaker 3: so he probably has a suitcase.
Speaker 2: Oh no, Oh, look at her.
Speaker 3: She's rolling by and her is she in the marathon?
Speaker 3: There's a woman in a kind of what do you
Speaker 3: call that?
Speaker 2: A lark? I've kind of I started calling them all
Speaker 2: rascal scooters, but it is some sort of a you know,
Speaker 2: an assistant's cart. Let's just call it that. She's very popular.
Speaker 2: Everyone's saying hi to her.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm texting him the exact where we are.
Speaker 2: Yes, maybe we should drop a pin. A lot of
Speaker 2: people drop pins.
Speaker 1: This is so fucked.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is. I had a feeling. I mean last night,
Speaker 2: I had trouble sleeping last night because I was thinking
Speaker 2: about this happening. Yeah, so for it now be happening. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's really making me wish i'd slept.
Speaker 3: Because it's gonna happen anyway.
Speaker 2: It happened anyway, which is.
Speaker 3: Kind of bringing me back to what I was kind
Speaker 3: of saying before, which is, you can't you know.
Speaker 1: This shit goes down? Yeah, and that's why we I.
Speaker 3: Built in Uh, at least we did, like at least
Speaker 3: an extra hour for this podcast so that he would
Speaker 3: be on time.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: I think we can still make it.
Speaker 2: I think we can still make it too.
Speaker 3: I mean, who knows, though, who knows what's going to
Speaker 3: happen in this goddamn We have not had.
Speaker 2: A guest miss their flight yet, No, have we? I
Speaker 2: don't think so.
Speaker 3: No, Unless they did, they just didn't tell us.
Speaker 2: Oh I don't want to hear about that. Wow. Sounds
Speaker 2: like I'm not sleeping again tonight.
Speaker 1: Oh I can see him, you can.
Speaker 2: I wish I knew you know, I was red hair
Speaker 2: one time I did the Scar Brothers podcast, and they
Speaker 2: did so much research about me. One they knew what
Speaker 2: I looked like two. They knew my last name, and
Speaker 2: they knew all these details about my life and my
Speaker 2: interests and brought them up and had things to say
Speaker 2: about them. And they were both on iPads, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh wow, if I ever have a podcast,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put that kind of work into it. But no,
Speaker 2: he screw those guys, and screw them for putting the
Speaker 2: pressure on me. Jason Randy, we you know how hard
Speaker 2: it is to just the logistics of there he is there,
Speaker 2: he is there, He is with his beautiful he's got
Speaker 2: red hair and a nice stride.
Speaker 3: And he looked like he should be, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: in like a j crew.
Speaker 1: He's so young and he.
Speaker 2: Is well, now I realize that's gotta be someone Karen
Speaker 2: has a crush on. He's handsome, Anthony's filled with gusto.
Speaker 2: I'm now alone in the car. Richard's getting in the car.
Speaker 2: I'm exhausted, as if I have run the marathon myself.
Speaker 2: I like these guys, they're just walking by, smoking high.
Speaker 2: Good to meet you. How what is this madness?
Speaker 3: We're in it to win it this morning?
Speaker 2: Let's see.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, let's be safe, can you.
Speaker 2: You might be Yeah, there's the blanket. We put down
Speaker 2: the blank It's a decision you need to make. Do
Speaker 2: you like of dog hairs or safety? I prefer Actually
Speaker 2: it's a toss up for me. It is it's usually
Speaker 2: covered with some kind of hair. I have safety. That's great, good,
Speaker 2: Okay that ever, well, then you've made your decision. That
Speaker 2: often is the decision. But I'm myself am allergic to dogs,
Speaker 2: so I sometimes when I'm having a bad attack, I'd
Speaker 2: rather be flying through a windshield. How are you operating
Speaker 2: in this car?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Really, it's certain dogs, Pugs, any kind of a any
Speaker 2: kind of a pug or bulldog type pugs orthis. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they really are pretty. They have little to know worth. Yeah,
Speaker 2: garbage they are. There's one fun thing to do with
Speaker 2: pugs though. If you're ever in a body of water
Speaker 2: where you're waiting in it, and you're holding a pug,
Speaker 2: and you lower the pug towards the water, they will
Speaker 2: start swimming above the water and when you set them down,
Speaker 2: they'll take off like a motor boat. Have you done
Speaker 2: this personally? And yes, and I've only done it with
Speaker 2: that one breed of dog. That's something that may be
Speaker 2: multiple dames where did this opportunity come from? Oh in
Speaker 2: Montana right near the where they shot a river runs
Speaker 2: through it, and that was my This dog also would
Speaker 2: get excited and you're like that, lady, now do you
Speaker 2: want to make it out and move cold? Done that
Speaker 2: and the dog would get excited and his eyes it
Speaker 2: was disgusting. His eyes would pop out and she had
Speaker 2: to push them back in like that lady that was
Speaker 2: on Letterman in the eighties.
Speaker 1: Sorry, this is.
Speaker 3: All of these people have gone down the street illegally.
Speaker 2: I had to drive through a barricade.
Speaker 5: I just gave up eventually because I had to get
Speaker 5: to my parking spot. So I just drove literally threw
Speaker 5: a cone, and the police state.
Speaker 2: Now, d you go to work today or late this morning?
Speaker 5: I got there at like ten forty five. I just
Speaker 5: left my car there because I don't have a parking
Speaker 5: space in my apartment.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's fair, and they let you do that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the good people great at Kimmel.
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, tell us a little bit about your job. Yes,
Speaker 3: you feel comfortable talking about that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, doesn't make you uneasy.
Speaker 5: It makes me incredibly uneasy. Just the thought of it
Speaker 5: makes me shiver. No, it's great. It's I've been working
Speaker 5: there since last September. And what do you want to know.
Speaker 2: Is there's a guy named Andy Fisher that used to direct.
Speaker 2: He doesn't work there anymore, does he not? As far
Speaker 2: as that's my only name. Drop.
Speaker 3: You're a staff writer, right, I'm.
Speaker 2: A staff writer. I work with a variety of wonderful people.
Speaker 3: And have you done anything that's been that you can say, Oh,
Speaker 3: I wrote that that's been on the air and people might.
Speaker 2: Have gone viral those where all you you influence culture?
Speaker 3: And anyway, all of oh your mean tweets was your idea?
Speaker 3: Good to know? Bridge your winger?
Speaker 5: Wait listen, one of my dreams of being on a
Speaker 5: podcast is being able to say my name correctly in public.
Speaker 3: Okay, please do it, because I just did it wrong.
Speaker 5: Well, because eighty percent of my close friends at this
Speaker 5: point don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, that makes Karen feel.
Speaker 5: Better because and this is my fault, because about two
Speaker 5: years ago I heard somebody correct somebody on their name pronunciation,
Speaker 5: and I just thought, that's the what are you doing?
Speaker 5: Who cares like? They were very mean about it? And
Speaker 5: so I just gave up correcting people on my name altogether. Right,
Speaker 5: And Now that's obviously just causing problems because everyone calls
Speaker 5: me Bridger, Winneger or Bridge your winger.
Speaker 2: It's Bridger Wineger?
Speaker 1: Is it wineger?
Speaker 2: Wow? But it looks like vinegar.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I believe a minute ago you just called him
Speaker 2: Deborah Winger.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm lazy, so I just whatever comes out of
Speaker 3: mine you want. But is it true?
Speaker 1: Because because Sean ted Roch and I looked up.
Speaker 3: Some Mormon names, one of the ways people have the
Speaker 3: name Bridger is Bridger A twelve.
Speaker 2: What's that?
Speaker 1: You've never heard of that?
Speaker 3: Are you?
Speaker 1: Are you Mormon by faith?
Speaker 2: My parents?
Speaker 3: Are your parents? Are? We looked at I don't he was.
Speaker 3: I think Sean was trying to write a list of
Speaker 3: names for some reason, and he likes to look up.
Speaker 3: He finds Mormon names very interesting because a lot of
Speaker 3: them are kind of like culturally, they're not not ones
Speaker 3: anyone's ever heard of it?
Speaker 1: Sure, And one of them is Bridger A twelve eight?
Speaker 2: And is it like the.
Speaker 1: Letter A a dash and the number twelve.
Speaker 2: That sounds like a code name.
Speaker 3: I know. I thought maybe that was your name and
Speaker 3: you had just kind of shortened it for Holly.
Speaker 2: I dropped a twelve that we should all get plenty
Speaker 2: of A twelve because it's good for your skin.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right for your health.
Speaker 2: I'm the guy that comes in with jokes that may
Speaker 2: or may not make sense. Now back to the legate conversation.
Speaker 2: You had kept going with that, I would have just
Speaker 2: believed A twelve.
Speaker 1: Twelve.
Speaker 3: You get it mostly in the American Southwest. No, that's
Speaker 3: just well, that's winegar.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and Bridger comes from a There was a mountain
Speaker 5: man named Jim Bridger who I think was the like
Speaker 5: the first European to discover the Great Salt Lake.
Speaker 2: And he thought it was the Pacific. That was Paul Bunyan.
Speaker 5: That's not that I did a lot of things, but
Speaker 5: he did not.
Speaker 2: Salt Lake. It really is a huge lake. I last
Speaker 2: time I was there, I was actually an Ogden, But
Speaker 2: that that lake is so impressive. It is another planet.
Speaker 2: It's like the ocean, the waves lap onto the beach. Really,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I may have made that up so huge,
Speaker 2: that's kind of true. But it does smell terrible.
Speaker 1: Does it?
Speaker 3: It's yeah, so salty.
Speaker 2: Explain why it's salty? What what is that?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 5: Utah used to be covered by something called Lake Bonneville,
Speaker 5: which like covered essentially.
Speaker 2: The entire state or half of the state or something.
Speaker 2: I think it was kind of.
Speaker 5: Now I'm just going to say I'm making things, Yeah,
Speaker 5: but I think it was sort of oceanesque in its
Speaker 5: saltiness and has just kind of receded to the point
Speaker 5: that it's now the Great Song.
Speaker 2: It's so bizarre to me because that is that explained?
Speaker 2: Is that? Are there other salty lakes in America in
Speaker 2: the middle of the not in the United States? As
Speaker 2: far as that, that's so amazing. I wonder what the
Speaker 2: fish are like in there. There are no fish. There
Speaker 2: are no fish. Well, there are a lot.
Speaker 5: Of brine shrimp, are also sea monkeys, sea monkeys.
Speaker 2: There are no fish in Salt Lake? Is that? Does
Speaker 2: everyone know that? That to me is amazing.
Speaker 5: Maybe there are no I'm just saying things, but me too.
Speaker 5: It just is so it's like so dead. That's right,
Speaker 5: It's like the dead.
Speaker 2: This podcast has been me saying so many empty promises
Speaker 2: and acts have no basis.
Speaker 5: The Great Salt Lake is full of beautiful tropical fish.
Speaker 2: That's what I want to hear.
Speaker 5: Money, money, there's just saw that gold along the bottom.
Speaker 3: No, that's why so salty money.
Speaker 5: Those coins are just disintegrating into salta Is that where
Speaker 5: the Bonneville Salt Flats are?
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so that's where because I saw the Indian
Speaker 3: motorcycle racing.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 3: I never saw that the fastest Indian which is actually great.
Speaker 5: I've heard it's great. It's a what's.
Speaker 3: His name, Anthony Hopkins?
Speaker 2: Yeah, riding a motorcycle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, true story.
Speaker 3: He's like the fastest land speed. He set the record
Speaker 3: for the fastest land speed.
Speaker 5: Now in that movie, is he like a seventy year
Speaker 5: old man riding a motorcycle.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I was saying, and that sounds dangerous.
Speaker 3: Now, this is gonna be my chance to make some
Speaker 3: stuff up.
Speaker 2: Let's hear it. Because I.
Speaker 3: Often remember movies and all the different parts, as you know,
Speaker 3: and maybe.
Speaker 1: Picked from other movies as well.
Speaker 3: But from what I remember, he was like a middle
Speaker 3: aged man in Australia who was tinkering around with a
Speaker 3: motorcycle that he got to go really fast and then
Speaker 3: he came to set the record. Because the Bontoville Salt
Speaker 3: Flats are I guess, like the biggest open space where
Speaker 3: you can go crazy speeds.
Speaker 1: And nothing.
Speaker 3: You just go and then slow back down and there's
Speaker 3: nothing to hit and nothing bad happens, and it's perfectly flat.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
Speaker 3: So that's the whole.
Speaker 2: And then he met an Indian in a cupboard. Yes,
Speaker 2: got on him and he was so fast.
Speaker 3: They found an iron giant in the forest.
Speaker 2: It's my favorite with Babe his big blue hawks and
Speaker 2: talking to the discovery of the lake. I yeah, I did.
Speaker 2: I did stand up on the show that you work
Speaker 2: on in two thousand.
Speaker 5: And three on Kimmel. Yeah, and it was actually live
Speaker 5: back then, oh.
Speaker 2: Sure, like radio. Yeah, so it live in New York,
Speaker 2: I think when it was taping here, so you know,
Speaker 2: I'd to write out all my jokes for Batim and
Speaker 2: uh and then right before I went. He used to
Speaker 2: have Super Dave Osborne all the short time, which is
Speaker 2: why I thought of this. I imagine an old guy
Speaker 2: on a motorcycle, which just being Super day. They he
Speaker 2: went along with the mystery Box or whatever segment and
Speaker 2: they said can you do three minutes instead of four
Speaker 2: and a half as like, or can you come back tomorrow?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I can't come back tomorrow. Yeah, I'll
Speaker 2: do last time. So I went out there and I
Speaker 2: just opened with a new joke, and the Q card
Speaker 2: person was jumping up and down and pointing like the
Speaker 2: show was new, so new that whoever told me that
Speaker 2: didn't know they should probably run it by the guy
Speaker 2: who cleared everything with standards and practices, so they just
Speaker 2: bleeped sentences so I'd be online. No, that's the only
Speaker 2: time I've ever had something removed to me personally. I
Speaker 2: don't even have a copy of it, because what's sad
Speaker 2: about it is I felt good. I felt like it
Speaker 2: had gone well sure, and me and my friends all
Speaker 2: went to a bar and I'm like, hey everyone, I
Speaker 2: just looked like I was going, fuck, shit, fuck, piss fuck.
Speaker 2: I don't care that I'm on TV, asshole. And then
Speaker 2: my dad called, why did you do that? Why did you?
Speaker 2: I didn't They just they didn't know. It was when
Speaker 2: I like had a burst of something. It sounded like
Speaker 2: maybe I swore, and they're like, no, we're not gonna
Speaker 2: risk it.
Speaker 3: It's also because I'm sure they freaked out that it
Speaker 3: wasn't what they exactly knew it was, so and they
Speaker 3: can't risk it.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, this is one of those guys that's
Speaker 2: just gonna lay down its political views or No.
Speaker 3: It's like FCC finds if you had come out with
Speaker 3: a fuck or a ship or something, you were off script.
Speaker 3: So they were paranoid.
Speaker 2: Yeah this was pre Super Bowl. Yes, yes, basically my
Speaker 2: verbal ted flopped out.
Speaker 1: And but you pulled that out on purpose.
Speaker 2: Some say yeah, some people say some people say because
Speaker 2: of my romance with JT.
Speaker 3: It's super weird.
Speaker 2: Karen, you may have figured this out. I mean I
Speaker 2: think we're in the clear and you're getting on an
Speaker 2: airplane and the clear.
Speaker 3: But yeah, we got a Now this is there is
Speaker 3: going to be an element of excitement. Please know that
Speaker 3: this is ten eleven minutes.
Speaker 5: Mine is sixteen minutes fast, and I just don't change it,
Speaker 5: and we.
Speaker 2: Can turn up the air conditioning. I'll just turn down
Speaker 2: the mic. It's been established clearly. Wearing a car. Yes,
Speaker 2: I don't need to have the we have a mic.
Speaker 2: That just kind of proves it. With traffic noise. Oh sure,
Speaker 2: sure that down and you're headed to Austin to the
Speaker 2: show is going to tape.
Speaker 5: Their life then, yeah, we're taping five shows next week.
Speaker 5: So I can't remember the name of the theater. We're
Speaker 5: doing it in but somewhere within the heart of Texas.
Speaker 5: Maybe the paramount of you know, maybe I'm I started
Speaker 5: stand up in Austin, Oh.
Speaker 2: But then you would probably know better than about five
Speaker 2: five years. I wouldn't say that it's not a competition.
Speaker 6: I mean, if it is, you're so have I mean,
Speaker 6: if there were any lone Star trivia in this car
Speaker 6: in the Capital.
Speaker 2: Near the Capitol building. Oddly those are spelled differently. A
Speaker 2: lot of people don't know that's true, Capitol being the
Speaker 2: I don't know, I'm not sure which is anyway, beautiful town.
Speaker 2: You're gonna love it, but you're about to experience Actually
Speaker 2: that is sounding kind of terrible.
Speaker 5: But do you drink for I don't drink, so yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm going to be surrounded by drunk people.
Speaker 1: Good good, good, Well, I know that feeling.
Speaker 2: I'm drunk right now, and I you know what I
Speaker 2: I do. We need a cooler in here. But that
Speaker 2: mic is really I'm just gonna put my hand over it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that the town so many people go forout south by Southwest.
Speaker 2: Now that it's it's gonna be just like what we
Speaker 2: experienced with the Helle Marathon. All the streets are blocked
Speaker 2: off and there's just one hundred thousand new people, yeah,
Speaker 2: all drunk, and there's a.
Speaker 3: Lot of bands that play like there's tons of bands
Speaker 3: in you know, a bunch of different bars and playing
Speaker 3: all as you walk down the street. And to me
Speaker 3: when I was there, they just all sounded like they
Speaker 3: all sounded like they were inspired by Incubis. It's that
Speaker 3: kind of feel of like it's like like rocky basslines
Speaker 3: and yeah, heavy bass rock boys that had their feelings
Speaker 3: hurt by their dad.
Speaker 5: And Okay, I was thinking three eleven. I'm sorry Incubus
Speaker 5: is also terrible, but.
Speaker 2: Yes, Incubis is the worst. At least three eleven. They
Speaker 2: have some kind of more reggae ballads where the guy
Speaker 2: where the guy doesn't rap. When I saw three eleven
Speaker 2: live and when the guy wraps, I don't really notice
Speaker 2: when I'm just hearing it, but he had this look
Speaker 2: on his face where I'm rapping this yeah totally now
Speaker 2: seeing other guy and then it's like that that whole
Speaker 2: rapping singing white guy like and now we're gonna sing.
Speaker 2: It just works, It just works, and it gets my
Speaker 2: blood pumping and it makes me want to tear the
Speaker 2: graphic te off some bro and head butt gatorade out
Speaker 2: of his ass. I should have said monster Energy drink close,
Speaker 2: but it's but yeah, it's a live music capital of
Speaker 2: the world. So not only is there that band, there's
Speaker 2: a band that's just like them doing a cover across
Speaker 2: the street and their sounds are overlapping. Yes.
Speaker 3: And then in the middle there's like a girl with
Speaker 3: a weird kerchief as a tank top and a strange
Speaker 3: beer in a plastic cup who's just kind of like
Speaker 3: having her having her day and then.
Speaker 2: Music without them, that it's not music if she isn't there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And that the other thing about mainly six Street, where
Speaker 2: a lot of the festival is going to be and
Speaker 2: where you'll see the most horribly drunk people. Cops are
Speaker 2: on horses, they have tattoos, they're really waiting to get
Speaker 2: in some stick time, and they they ask for phone
Speaker 2: numbers and stuff from girls like hey, come here. I
Speaker 2: just totally saw on duty cop with a full sleeved
Speaker 2: leg tattoos on his horse and she's like trying to
Speaker 2: pet the horse. He's like, you compet her this weekend
Speaker 2: if you give me a call or I don't have
Speaker 2: a problem with any of this, okay, I have problems
Speaker 2: with all of it.
Speaker 5: Well, Michael is for a cop to ask me for
Speaker 5: my number on to be trampled by a horse, so
Speaker 5: this is perfect.
Speaker 3: They just sweeps you off your feet onto his police horse.
Speaker 2: Exactly. Would just let me know if I don't know
Speaker 2: how that situation will go. But anything you do to
Speaker 2: a police horse, it's considered you're doing it to an office.
Speaker 2: Just horses are police.
Speaker 1: They When I was in south By, Southwest last year,
Speaker 1: we had this big.
Speaker 3: I was there with a p home show and also
Speaker 3: to perform, and so for the show, they rented this
Speaker 3: humongous suv. It was like a Delano or it was
Speaker 3: a large Mith Milana, and we dropped it off to
Speaker 3: have it parked in a hotel while we walked. And
Speaker 3: when I got back, they were like, oh yeah, someone
Speaker 3: hit it while we were It was so hilarious and
Speaker 3: so it was just like I had.
Speaker 1: There was a cop right there when it happened.
Speaker 3: So I got the ticket, the car back, the police report,
Speaker 3: and this whole it was almost like the whole thing
Speaker 3: had been taken care of. All I was gone.
Speaker 5: This is this happened to me on my street last year?
Speaker 5: I went out like eleven o'clock at night. My car
Speaker 5: was basically perpendicular with the street and there was a
Speaker 5: giant ticket on it that was like the size of
Speaker 5: a road map, and the police this woman had backed
Speaker 5: up and hit seven cars on her way. Oh no,
Speaker 5: Sandy Gomez and that. So they just left the whole
Speaker 5: report for me and it was taken care of. I
Speaker 5: didn't have to worry about talking to anyone that I
Speaker 5: just got insurance money and it was oh nice. I'm
Speaker 5: still being contacted by her insurance company, which doesn't seem
Speaker 5: to be as on the ball, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's Sandy.
Speaker 2: I have a deposition this weekend from my wreck that
Speaker 2: happened when we first stared podcasting kind of on Koanga,
Speaker 2: going down and just stopped and someone slammed into me
Speaker 2: and my ex girlfriend and we got really hurt. But
Speaker 2: they were uninsured. And whatever money comes out of her
Speaker 2: insurance to take care of uninsured motors hitting you, we
Speaker 2: exceeded that with like physical therapy. So now even though
Speaker 2: it's like the victim and a wreck, I owe over
Speaker 2: ten thousand dollars. Oh my gosh, ridiculous. So I have
Speaker 2: to prove lost wages. So it's insane. Yeah, it's it's
Speaker 2: very it's it's really they It really sucks when people
Speaker 2: don't have ensured. How long ago was this It was
Speaker 2: almost a year and a half. It was January twenty fourteen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it's the worst it is. So, Karen, was your
Speaker 2: car still operating? Was the suv?
Speaker 3: Yeah? It was just like someone's like drove by. I'm
Speaker 3: sure they were probably drunk. They just like there was
Speaker 3: just big long streak marks because it was a big
Speaker 3: white suv, so it was just like someone skimmed down
Speaker 3: the side of it as they were trying to park
Speaker 3: it or I don't know something.
Speaker 2: And you experienced a horrible, horrible thing. You probably don't
Speaker 2: want to talk about that. The person that there's someone
Speaker 2: like just was evading the police and drove through a
Speaker 2: crowd of people.
Speaker 3: And yeah, I just told you.
Speaker 2: Yeah story right, it's.
Speaker 3: A terrible story that it's so funny because I love
Speaker 3: to tell that story. When I first got back, didn't
Speaker 3: love it, but it was like, listen, insane thing happen.
Speaker 2: Probably just on your mind.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also because the part that I love that
Speaker 3: that uh or I can't say love, but the part
Speaker 3: that's amazing to me is I was standing in the
Speaker 3: back of the line that got cloud through moments before
Speaker 3: it got plowed through, and I just walked away. So
Speaker 3: instead of being the first person hit by the car,
Speaker 3: I just was over on the side and was completely
Speaker 3: untouched by it.
Speaker 2: I did not know that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's the part that but but when you but,
Speaker 3: and it's probably my fault in the way I told
Speaker 3: the story was because the story itself is horrible and
Speaker 3: it you know, all these people got hit by this
Speaker 3: car that went through.
Speaker 2: A barrier and people died.
Speaker 3: No one on that street died though, Okay, I mean
Speaker 3: there were people that were very seriously hurt and injured.
Speaker 3: But the people that died were the people that that
Speaker 3: guy hit.
Speaker 2: Before he turned I forgot. God, Yeah, he's forever in jail, right, Yes,
Speaker 2: Texas is not a place you want to break the law,
Speaker 2: not at.
Speaker 1: All and evade like he was. I think he was.
Speaker 3: He was. He had a warrant already, so he was.
Speaker 3: They were trying to pull him over.
Speaker 2: Oh he was on the run from the police, right.
Speaker 2: But it was something like I'm not paying that child support,
Speaker 2: yes exactly.
Speaker 3: Someone then three people get killed because of it.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: But every time I told the story, I was trying
Speaker 3: to convey the part of like can you believe I,
Speaker 3: you know, buy the skin of my teeth. But I
Speaker 3: would bum people out so badly, like I was there
Speaker 3: when that hideous thing happened that I started realizing, we
Speaker 3: just don't don't tell people that story.
Speaker 1: You're just basically going remember the worst thing ever.
Speaker 2: But it is interesting. I mean, the fact that you
Speaker 2: went through that is pretty Oh.
Speaker 5: I would I couldn't have. I would have never stopped
Speaker 5: throwing up. I would have just found a garbage can and.
Speaker 2: Just eating the rest of your life to support all
Speaker 2: the vomiting. Yeah, that sounds awful.
Speaker 1: It was pretty bad.
Speaker 3: But then my both my parents were like my dad's
Speaker 3: a fireman, my mom was a nurse, so they're used
Speaker 3: to like emergency situations. They're very like calm, oh sure.
Speaker 3: And I remember talking to both my sister and my
Speaker 3: dad and I said to my sister, like, I feel
Speaker 3: more grateful that it didn't happen to me than I do,
Speaker 3: like caught up in the horror of it.
Speaker 1: And my sister said, I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 3: My favorite uh saying, which is not my circus not
Speaker 3: my monkeys. So it's like, don't take on problems if
Speaker 3: you don't have to. Like if I had gotten hit
Speaker 3: or if I'd witnessed something that was like keeping me
Speaker 3: up at night, that's one thing. But if you don't
Speaker 3: have it, don't look for it.
Speaker 2: I is it okay if your sister's favorite saying is
Speaker 2: now mine? Because because it's not my circus, not my monkeys,
Speaker 2: your life is hard enough.
Speaker 3: I don't go looking for product.
Speaker 2: Don't work here, and I specifically don't have the job
Speaker 2: of monkey trainer.
Speaker 1: Sorry, those monkeys are everywhere.
Speaker 3: Well you're going to have to collect them up yourself
Speaker 3: because those they're not mine.
Speaker 2: So do you have a temporary.
Speaker 5: Office then when you're in Austin yea, as far as
Speaker 5: I know, I think we're all of the writers will
Speaker 5: be in one room, so we'll see. But uh I,
Speaker 5: I honestly, I have not asked enough questions about this
Speaker 5: week is going to entail.
Speaker 2: I know I'm going there.
Speaker 5: And hopefully somebody can shepherd me in the correct direction,
Speaker 5: because yeah.
Speaker 2: I went there for work once when I worked on
Speaker 2: a show, but it was to interview, like go and
Speaker 2: interview bands, So I was in the sea of drunk
Speaker 2: Peach Shore. It seems like you'll probably be able to
Speaker 2: avoid it. Maybe see music. Will you be able? I
Speaker 2: hope to see some music. I always say that.
Speaker 5: I mean just about concerts here, and I'm so lazy
Speaker 5: that I can imagine just sitting in my hotel room.
Speaker 5: But I know like at least the show is going
Speaker 5: to have Spoon, so at the very least I'll get
Speaker 5: to see them live.
Speaker 2: Which I'm excited about. Are they from Austin? They are
Speaker 2: because they used to my friend Chip, Chip's friends with that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he had Spoon. He wore a Spoon shirt on Austin's Stories.
Speaker 3: Do you have their most recent album?
Speaker 2: Do you like gat?
Speaker 5: I'm so good that I constantly They've been a very
Speaker 5: consistent band.
Speaker 3: Yeah, are great. That's very cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that'll be fun. I would I've never seen Spoon,
Speaker 2: but I have plenty of opportunities.
Speaker 5: They're very good live, but I would like to. Maybe
Speaker 5: one night I'll find the courage to go see a band.
Speaker 5: But I feel like I have to have some lanyard
Speaker 5: on or something.
Speaker 1: So you'll get one though, because from from being with
Speaker 1: the show.
Speaker 5: Well, I pray, but you know, I don't count on
Speaker 5: anything your prayers. I'm saying I've been praying every night.
Speaker 3: There are a couple of bands twelve to get that
Speaker 3: connection your ee.
Speaker 5: That sounds like food die yes, Eminem.
Speaker 3: I wasn't sure whether or not to bring it up
Speaker 3: to because.
Speaker 2: If I started crying that up.
Speaker 3: I mean, because it is fascinating to me, but also
Speaker 3: I don't want to be like pointing, like look at
Speaker 3: weird things.
Speaker 2: I need to know more about that.
Speaker 1: I just love that you have had no idea.
Speaker 3: That's fascinating.
Speaker 2: It's very weird to me. It's bingos square good go on.
Speaker 3: Well, I was just going to bring up that Bridger
Speaker 3: is very is what many people call it Twitter liberty.
Speaker 3: No one ever says that.
Speaker 1: Is that how you introduced whatever.
Speaker 5: I'm in line at restaurants, whatever, just to get a
Speaker 5: better seat.
Speaker 3: You're holding up your phone at people. Look at that
Speaker 3: number count. But you are one of my favorite people
Speaker 3: on Twitter, and Bridger w on Twitter, and when you
Speaker 3: when I first started Twitter, you were recommended to me
Speaker 3: by several people who were very funny.
Speaker 2: And I just I want to interrupt a lot of
Speaker 2: people don't know that you started Twitter, Karen. You're one
Speaker 2: of the early inventors.
Speaker 3: My idea, I was like, where can we all go
Speaker 3: to write bad pun jokes and pretend we're depressed. Let's
Speaker 3: start this website. But I thought because of your name,
Speaker 3: I thought you were a girl. And also because of
Speaker 3: that picture you're Abviy Bridger's wearing really high uh molastic
Speaker 3: band jeans, but there's no head, so it just looks
Speaker 3: like a late something a lady would do. And I
Speaker 3: didn't like you because you were so funny and I
Speaker 3: thought you were a girl. I was like, she thinks
Speaker 3: she's so great. Like I did a very sexist thing
Speaker 3: in my head of like kind of being like whatever, Bridger.
Speaker 1: And then when I found out you were a guy,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my.
Speaker 3: God, I love him so much.
Speaker 2: Well, you're you are not alone.
Speaker 5: I have had so many people say, wait, you're a
Speaker 5: guy or I thought you were a woman, And I
Speaker 5: don't know what to tell people.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm definitely not helping. Like nothing I tweet
Speaker 2: about could be I.
Speaker 3: Mean so much volleyball team stuff.
Speaker 5: There's a lot of volleyball and crafts. But if you
Speaker 5: do even a little bit of research on the internet,
Speaker 5: you can discover my gender.
Speaker 2: There's pictures of your torso and your head.
Speaker 3: There is separate, always separate now.
Speaker 5: And separate well actually, and if you click on my picture,
Speaker 5: it brings up, but it just looks like I could
Speaker 5: be a hideous woman, just like just like a woman
Speaker 5: that was recently released from prisoner or something. So it's
Speaker 5: not I'm not helping anyone.
Speaker 2: I don't care.
Speaker 5: I like the confusion. I would prefer for everyone to
Speaker 5: just think that I'm this this lady who is tweeting
Speaker 5: from jail.
Speaker 2: Is it? Would you credit your Twitter celebrity what it's
Speaker 2: the word your Twitter celebrityism, thank you with with like
Speaker 2: the job you've got and everything. Oh yeah, oh that's
Speaker 2: so great. It's crazy.
Speaker 5: I mean for a long time, I mean I didn't
Speaker 5: have any other way to present you what I would
Speaker 5: do or whatever. No, I don't stand up or anything,
Speaker 5: and I don't have entertainment connections. And I know I
Speaker 5: saw other people were a handful of people got getting
Speaker 5: jobs from it. So I was like, well, I guess
Speaker 5: I'll just keep doing this and if it doesn't work out,
Speaker 5: I've wasted thousands of hours of my life.
Speaker 2: So you you, like Rob Delaney or maybe a better example,
Speaker 2: treated it like a job and you weren't sure why
Speaker 2: you were doing it, but you were just tweeting out
Speaker 2: jokes and and observation. Yeah, all day it was I
Speaker 2: mean it was fun.
Speaker 5: I like, yeah, like reading other people's tweets or whatever.
Speaker 2: I'm late to get into it, and I don't think
Speaker 2: Twitter celebrities are coming up anymore. No, it's like hard.
Speaker 2: People hate it. Ye still, Yeah, it's weird and I
Speaker 2: still enjoy it. But do you still do it as
Speaker 2: as much as you used to? Just getting this job? No?
Speaker 5: Just because I mean my last job, I was sitting
Speaker 5: in front of a computer for eight hours a day
Speaker 5: looking at pictures of food.
Speaker 2: So it was a lot easier. Oh that's funny.
Speaker 3: But wait, weren't you were the writer's assistant on Craig
Speaker 3: Ferguson for a long time.
Speaker 2: I was a researcher there.
Speaker 1: Oh, a researcher sorry, And that job.
Speaker 2: Didn't require much of me. A lot of pictures of
Speaker 2: food are going to come up in that situation, too,
Speaker 2: plenty of pictures of food.
Speaker 3: Wait, what was the job you had about the food picture?
Speaker 5: And that was my on my own personal time, That's
Speaker 5: what I was doing with my job each day. I
Speaker 5: was looking at food on the internet because I was starving.
Speaker 1: What kind of food did you like to look at?
Speaker 2: I like, I like looking at.
Speaker 5: Melted cheese, meatballs, burritos cut in half, fried eggs on hamburgers.
Speaker 5: I'm honestly pretty much any sort of food, I'm into it.
Speaker 2: But I do like the aesthetics of a barely eaten
Speaker 2: out of castle role that's beautiful, just where you can
Speaker 2: get a little profile.
Speaker 5: Exactly, you get to see the architecture of the cast,
Speaker 5: those layers exactly.
Speaker 3: Have you ever seen those old recipe carts from the
Speaker 3: seventies like that? There's one with bananas and hollandaise.
Speaker 5: Sauce that oh yes, so hard. Those pictures, those are
Speaker 5: I get. I probably should have been looking at pictures
Speaker 5: like that to keep myself from getting hungry. Yeah, that's right,
Speaker 5: I was doing the wrong thing.
Speaker 3: You're getting hungry or instead of using them.
Speaker 2: Exactly, I should have been like feeling repulsed. Do bananas
Speaker 2: make you unhungry?
Speaker 5: Oh no, I love bananas, but covered in basically mayonnaise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, bacon.
Speaker 3: And there's these set these recipe cards from the seventies
Speaker 3: that I keep seeing on Tumblr every once in a while,
Speaker 3: and they are so hilarious. It's like lard and it's yes,
Speaker 3: it's like a housewife in the seventies who's clearly on pills.
Speaker 3: It's making up shit that like you would never It's
Speaker 3: like a toss salad over here and some like jars
Speaker 3: of you know, oil and vinegar dressing over here, and
Speaker 3: then in the center it's a cast role that looks
Speaker 3: like someone shat and barth and then put some mashed
Speaker 3: potatoes near it. It's like the most upsetting looking food.
Speaker 1: Just everything was like that.
Speaker 5: And my mom owns a lot of cookbooks like that.
Speaker 5: Yeah that she Yeah, I'll go through and just feel
Speaker 5: very ill.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's that classic one that is like red uh.
Speaker 1: Gangham, like table cloth, better homes and gardens.
Speaker 2: It is like Betty Crocker. Yeah, that's the one I'm
Speaker 2: And so there was a and I loved it my
Speaker 2: whole life. My mom. It was one thing she made
Speaker 2: where I get excited. It was clam sauce spaghetti. And
Speaker 2: then one time when I moved off to Austin to
Speaker 2: start my life alone, I my sister wrote out a
Speaker 2: bunch of recipes for me, and there was a whole
Speaker 2: thing of cream cheese. There was an entire block. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there was cream and mushroom soup and and clams like
Speaker 2: one Canada the clams, and then one without the juice,
Speaker 2: and then an entire bucket of Philadelphia, like a bunch
Speaker 2: of it. Five thousand calories. You're eating it was and
Speaker 2: I would sit in with a big bowl of it
Speaker 2: and just eat it and wonder why my back jiggled
Speaker 2: on speedbots. It was so much cream cheese.
Speaker 3: That's what every This was like pre light food or
Speaker 3: diet food, like pre when everyone before people realize everyone
Speaker 3: was dying of heart disease. And my mom used to
Speaker 3: make an appetizer that I've made at Christmas parties where people,
Speaker 3: especially when they're drunk, would line up waiting for them
Speaker 3: to come out of the oven. You were there, right.
Speaker 2: My spaghetti was such a hit, yes, because.
Speaker 3: It has all that good stuff in it. But they
Speaker 3: were those little toasted cheese things that I make, and
Speaker 3: it's basically equal parts mayonnaise and craft parners together and
Speaker 3: then put on sliced up baguette and you broil. Put
Speaker 3: them in the broiler for three minutes and if you
Speaker 3: as long as people don't see you mixing that combination,
Speaker 3: because that's so disgusting if you just keep that a mystery,
Speaker 3: like people would get in. They were lining up in
Speaker 3: my kitchen at a Christmas party and they were taking
Speaker 3: them hot off the cookie train and I was like,
Speaker 3: don't put that in your mouth, just from the broiler,
Speaker 3: and they've just like.
Speaker 2: Them.
Speaker 3: It was hilarious because they're so delicious. But if you
Speaker 3: know what it is, it's it's worth.
Speaker 2: The burning your skin is just that's that's That explains
Speaker 2: why my mom never when she's cooking and she's like,
Speaker 2: you want me to see that there's a bucket a
Speaker 2: lard being siphoned into it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: There's a very popular Mormon dish called funeral potatoes, which
Speaker 5: is just the least a feeling title for any food ever.
Speaker 2: You can eat them anytimes.
Speaker 5: The thing is as you do. You eat them at
Speaker 5: any get together out of an open casket. But it's
Speaker 5: essentially just hash browns. It covered in your favorite relatives ashes. No,
Speaker 5: I think it's hash browns, sour cream, cheese and cornflakes.
Speaker 2: And you just put it in the oven. I've had
Speaker 2: something like that, fantastic.
Speaker 3: Sour cream cheese and corn.
Speaker 2: What someone's atheist parents call that because I know I've
Speaker 2: eaten that.
Speaker 1: Oh they just called that Sunday's for Sundays times.
Speaker 2: This lifetime layoff my get out of here with that book. Well,
Speaker 2: I I I when I did stand up in Ogden,
Speaker 2: most of the crowd, I think there was a show
Speaker 2: of hands at one point. It's just opening for Greg
Speaker 2: barn and it was mostly Mormon folks. Sure, and it
Speaker 2: was the best. I wanted to go back and record
Speaker 2: an album there. Yeah, because they because I'm I'm not
Speaker 2: that dirty of a comic shirt some of the stuff,
Speaker 2: they were totally willing to go anywhere, the most open mind.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I felt bad at the end because I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, better only have jokes about diet coke
Speaker 2: or whatever. My and they were so great and so
Speaker 2: gracious and like excited every single night. Greg went back
Speaker 2: and did record something there. It was the best, and
Speaker 2: it was the It wasn't even and Ogden apparently has
Speaker 2: like shady areas, right, Austen does have some fair but.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it just seemed like an outdoorsy Yeah. I think
Speaker 5: it's been rated as like one of the best cities
Speaker 5: to live in or something. But then on some hillside.
Speaker 5: They said, yeah, but that's where all the stabbings happened.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about forest, Well, there's a MASHETI
Speaker 2: gang all the sacks. Do you know what I'm talking
Speaker 2: about there? I'm not familiar with. Okay, I would love
Speaker 2: to be. That sounds like me describing a salt lake.
Speaker 2: I just made up, I swear. They said that on
Speaker 2: the hillside, the hillside of Ogden. Yeah, there was like,
Speaker 2: what year was this? I love it? Well, two thousand
Speaker 2: and eight. Okay. I was a wise guys comedy, That's
Speaker 2: what it was.
Speaker 1: There's just a lot of wise everybody's gotta be funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: No, But as far as I know, Utah audiences really
Speaker 5: are kind of known to be good audiences. I think
Speaker 5: because Mormon people are generally polite and friendly, and then
Speaker 5: there are non Mormons who are ready for something different,
Speaker 5: so they're excited too.
Speaker 2: Exactly. That's why they're like, no, talk about stuff that
Speaker 2: we don't get to do. Yeah, exactly. And then there
Speaker 2: was no one there with their arms crossed with the
Speaker 2: whole make me laugh the thing that I used to
Speaker 2: in Austin. There was a lot of like, I'm funny
Speaker 2: than this guy. Remember what I said at the picnic
Speaker 2: once ten years ago.
Speaker 5: Well, and the other thing is is there's not a
Speaker 5: ton of good stand up going through Utah, Like I
Speaker 5: had not seen stand up before I moved to La
Speaker 5: other than at Wise guys. I saw dustin Diamond that
Speaker 5: we went as a joke obviously, and a twelve year
Speaker 5: old comedian, so that was also we went as a joke.
Speaker 5: But and both were special experiences but were not good
Speaker 5: for comedy obviously.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I went back there in Salt Lake. There
Speaker 2: was like a tour for that Ratituey movie and I
Speaker 2: got to open for Patton and Janine Gravlt just a
Speaker 2: real quick set. But that too, it was the best, sure,
Speaker 2: and it was kind of democratic. Moms shown up to
Speaker 2: see it was when she's still doing America. Is that
Speaker 2: what it called? Yeah, that's also a Robert Downey junior movie, I.
Speaker 3: Think where he's the helicopter pilot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, oh god, let's think about that for But yeah,
Speaker 2: it was like at a rock club, and they were
Speaker 2: so great because this was the other side, like, oh,
Speaker 2: we're the tattoo. We exactly ' your your daddy's Salt
Speaker 2: Lake Citians, Saltake Citians, Salt Lake Citians. At one point,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get quiet in here. But uh, but they
Speaker 2: were they were so they were so great they were
Speaker 2: I Yeah. So anyway, my whole point is, I like
Speaker 2: where you're from. It's a great I like Mormons. I'm
Speaker 2: an open minded person who doesn't believe in anything.
Speaker 3: You know, it's like any other thing where you hear
Speaker 3: about the extreme, you know, the extreme versions of anything.
Speaker 3: But like my friend Betsy Labass, who was the teleprompter
Speaker 3: lady for the five years I worked at Ellen, She's
Speaker 3: Mormon and her parents were Mormon, and she used to
Speaker 3: invite me over we go to have dinner or like
Speaker 3: for Christmas, and it was like people who have there
Speaker 3: being like almost like life magazine version of all American people. Sure,
Speaker 3: and they were like both her parents were in their
Speaker 3: late seventies or early eighties. They both looked like they
Speaker 3: were in their sixties, like so healthy, just bright faced,
Speaker 3: fun to talk to, Like you know, they look like
Speaker 3: you know, she had like a little beehive and he
Speaker 3: looked like a little farmer. And they were just like
Speaker 3: the loveliest people. Yeah, it was it was great. I mean,
Speaker 3: like I definitely had like a weird Warren Jeff's bias
Speaker 3: going in of like, what's this.
Speaker 2: Going to be like? Right Orange Jem he is Voldemort.
Speaker 3: It's true, like he has his own whole town.
Speaker 2: I want to go there so bad.
Speaker 1: You're but are You're not allowed in right now?
Speaker 2: I think you can pass through.
Speaker 5: It's called Colorado City and maybe right now, I'm just
Speaker 5: going to tell you a about a TV show called
Speaker 5: Polygamy USA, which was on National Geographic unfortunately just for
Speaker 5: one season, but it was the splinter group for Warren
Speaker 5: Jeff's group that they were covering. They're like the good
Speaker 5: version of his cults or whatever, but definitely recommend Polygamy USA. Who,
Speaker 5: by the I'm just going to keep talking about this
Speaker 5: because this is this is the one interesting story of
Speaker 5: my life. I went to the University of Utah and
Speaker 5: I had a math professor there named Teresa Colly, who
Speaker 5: I suspected might be a polygamist. She addressed fairly conservatively.
Speaker 2: The way she spoke is a long denim skirts that's
Speaker 2: a bigo And the thing was like it was like
Speaker 2: that but just slightly updated. So it's like, what, You're
Speaker 2: definitely not a normal person.
Speaker 5: Uh yeah. The bangs were a dead giveaway, but I
Speaker 5: suspected but never confirmed. This was in like two thousand
Speaker 5: and eight or nine, and she was, by the way,
Speaker 5: a very good math professor, which was part of the
Speaker 5: conflict for me. I thought, well, if she's a polygamist,
Speaker 5: how is she why is she an educated person on
Speaker 5: any level?
Speaker 2: Plus one exactly.
Speaker 5: But twenty thirteen, I think Polygamy USA aired and I
Speaker 5: was watching it alone in my apartment at about eleven
Speaker 5: thirty at night, and suddenly one of the sister wives
Speaker 5: being interviewed was Teresa Collin. Wow, and I gasped so loudly,
Speaker 5: Oh wow, she's moved.
Speaker 2: Down to this. She wasn't solid at the time, but
Speaker 2: now she's down in Arizona or something final about book
Speaker 2: smart only Yeah, it's crazy, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: She was one of several wives.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she was one of several wives. And she's kind
Speaker 5: of like a crusader for polygamy. She's because I think,
Speaker 5: I mean, she is book smart, so she's able to
Speaker 5: go out and argue their cause or whatever, and I
Speaker 5: mean polygamy is whatever. Like these people, they're idiots, but
Speaker 5: they're not like abusing each other. It just happened to
Speaker 5: be insane.
Speaker 2: If you can make it work, if you can make
Speaker 2: it happen, I mean it's kind of I think most
Speaker 2: people look down on it because they're jealous, Like the
Speaker 2: guy that's like, I fight against jab, he's gay you
Speaker 2: and then they find him at a high octane clubs. No, No,
Speaker 2: I'm doing research about things I don't like.
Speaker 3: Well, but also, you know, I.
Speaker 2: Want to have a bunch of wives. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: What you do if we all do about the desert
Speaker 2: he does.
Speaker 3: The only thing is I think it's in fairness you
Speaker 3: should also be able to have a bunch of husbands.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely right, But that.
Speaker 3: Doesn't really work out that way because that's kind of
Speaker 3: not the setup. But to me, it's like, yeah, but
Speaker 3: then why is that any worse than standard one husband,
Speaker 3: one wife, but people cheating on it?
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah it isn't that is worse?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, like, why let's not be uh, let's
Speaker 3: not be bullshitters about it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's all just garbage, and everything's garbage. Everything's garbage,
Speaker 5: So why do we have to separate it?
Speaker 2: I realized, Yeah, I've liked more. I just realized, like
Speaker 2: Mormon people my whole life, My two best friends when
Speaker 2: I was a kid, they had and they had so
Speaker 2: many brothers and sisters and the house was just fun
Speaker 2: and active and they had huge houses and trampolines. It
Speaker 2: was my fun in Montana. But there isn't a whole
Speaker 2: lot of Mormons.
Speaker 3: Do they always have trampolines.
Speaker 5: Bridger Mormons. At once, we didn't, but so many of
Speaker 5: my friends had trampoline.
Speaker 2: My dad's childhood friend moved there. We went to visit
Speaker 2: them and they had neighbors who we when we want.
Speaker 2: And I was maybe eleven years old. We walked into
Speaker 2: their house inside trampolines, a trapeez, their home in the
Speaker 2: home padded everywhere, bean bag chairs, yes, and they and
Speaker 2: they were gymnast kids, they were and they were flipping
Speaker 2: around and I walked in and they were so nice
Speaker 2: and they were like, do you want to play on
Speaker 2: the And I'm like yeah, yeah. I was so excited.
Speaker 2: I never even jumped on a trampoline. Then this kids
Speaker 2: comes swinging and that's a flip and Lance and I go, gee,
Speaker 2: es is Christ? And they said, oh, oh yeah. When
Speaker 2: I said Jesus Christ, it was just an expletive And
Speaker 2: they said I was not allowed. I was forced to leave,
Speaker 2: and I was I was I remember being you were
Speaker 2: excited about trampoline. Maybe maybe I wasn't that, but they
Speaker 2: made me feel so guilty that I just sat down
Speaker 2: and got quiet. I think that that's OK. And then
Speaker 2: I left on my own accord, because even as a kid,
Speaker 2: I'm like, these people don't like me. I have to
Speaker 2: get out of here. I wish this was age twenty
Speaker 2: eight or something. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: It was right after my set crackers, so.
Speaker 2: I did in my head all Mormons had like trampoline.
Speaker 2: I know they definitely do.
Speaker 5: And it's weird because like maybe a few years ago
Speaker 5: VH one had like a look at rich people's houses thing,
Speaker 5: and I remember them saying, like the annouswer being like,
Speaker 5: and he has his own personal trampoline and everything that
Speaker 5: who cares. Everyone in my neighborhood had a trampoline.
Speaker 2: And saying personal to it makes you think of the exercise,
Speaker 2: but that you'd get excited. Ye, those I put my
Speaker 2: head through my basement sailing with I really did cartoonishly.
Speaker 1: It was shaped like my did you were you injured?
Speaker 2: No? No, it was just as beest, just chippy panel spark. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the kind that goes in your lung. How perfect? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I was keep your mouth open. I've been coughing this
Speaker 2: whole episode.
Speaker 1: Kimmel, Is your first writing job?
Speaker 3: It is, yeah, first staff writing job, And what do
Speaker 3: you think so far?
Speaker 2: It's great.
Speaker 5: It's a I mean coming from my last job, which
Speaker 5: I described earlier, which was nothing with no work and
Speaker 5: like the sort of job where I last year, I
Speaker 5: skipped a week of work.
Speaker 2: I didn't come in and no one noticed.
Speaker 5: So that just to give you an idea of the
Speaker 5: job I was coming from, Like what effort I had
Speaker 5: to put in. It's definitely been like a there's a
Speaker 5: learning curve obviously or whatever. But everybody there's so nice
Speaker 5: and yeah, I worked with was friends with my friend
Speaker 5: Jeff Loveness before I started working there. He's great and
Speaker 5: he's great, the hardest working person on the planet. He's
Speaker 5: like I don't think he sleeps. But he and my
Speaker 5: office made best we've They've been so good at at
Speaker 5: just like helping me because I don't know how to
Speaker 5: do anything, yeah, comedy, writing or otherwise. So it's nice
Speaker 5: to have two people just guiding me through life essentially.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's nice. How they've been there for a while.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they've been there for two or three years each. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that's great. I wish you would work Mike. Mike,
Speaker 2: he was a very good friend Andy in Austin. He
Speaker 2: was in a sketch duo okay, and he all he
Speaker 2: did is edit those their sketches, and then he moved
Speaker 2: here and got a job there as an editor and
Speaker 2: within a handful year, two three years, all of a
Speaker 2: sudden just directing the show and he showed up as
Speaker 2: an editor. Oh that's great. Yeah, yeah, it's it's uh,
Speaker 2: and I never we kind of lost touch because he's
Speaker 2: all that sure, but he probably knows your pals.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a That's a nice thing about the show
Speaker 5: is like they they notice you and like try to
Speaker 5: help you and make you a better person, like better
Speaker 5: for the show, which I coming from other jobs has
Speaker 5: not been the same situation.
Speaker 3: So usually it's a little more, uh, you're expected to
Speaker 3: be a bit more independent.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and this is like, well, we wanted to be
Speaker 5: a good show. We want everyone to be working, everyone
Speaker 5: working on it to be good at their jobs, so
Speaker 5: why not do that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great. It's because also the daily shows are
Speaker 3: so stressful, are so exhausting that oftentimes it can very
Speaker 3: much be every man for himself or sure, you know,
Speaker 3: like or if you start to fall behind a little bit,
Speaker 3: it just like people are like, we don't have time
Speaker 3: to help you. Of course we're being eaten alive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's nice.
Speaker 5: An intense schedule, but it's nice. It feels like I'm
Speaker 5: just in an intense training course and I feel like
Speaker 5: I'm catching on.
Speaker 2: So it's cool. I think that's what I need. I
Speaker 2: have no schedule, and I've been like sleeping in. Well,
Speaker 2: that sounds wonderful. Yeah, it is great. It is great,
Speaker 2: but after a while it starts to affect everything. You're like,
Speaker 2: well what am I doing? And I remember back when
Speaker 2: I worked on a show and just had to show
Speaker 2: up somewhere every day. It probably wasn't as long as hours,
Speaker 2: but I have it makes you get all these other
Speaker 2: things done. Even your weekends are productive. You just become
Speaker 2: a productive person. The show not require nine hours of
Speaker 2: sleep every night.
Speaker 3: Well, and also I think if you're on a daily
Speaker 3: show you do it is like being in a boot
Speaker 3: camp of a kind, because then everything after that is
Speaker 3: so much easier.
Speaker 2: I'm sure.
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean the job I have now is
Speaker 3: difficult in other ways, but scheduling wise, and it feels
Speaker 3: very it almost feels luxurious.
Speaker 5: Sure, much time there is well, and you're kind of
Speaker 5: working towards a bigger idea all the time rather than
Speaker 5: just resetting every day. And yeah, which is good in
Speaker 5: some ways and bad and others. Like if you have
Speaker 5: a bad day, you're like, well, tomorrow, maybe I won't
Speaker 5: be awful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like the second taping starts, it's like, well, yeah,
Speaker 3: this ship is sale. There's nothing you can do.
Speaker 2: But I imagine on a sitcom you're like, the week
Speaker 2: is a little slower paced.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's very slow paced.
Speaker 2: I'm in the even slower paced world of occasional commercial audition.
Speaker 2: I also just burped into the mind like if I
Speaker 2: could tell more that, oh, you guys work a lot,
Speaker 2: I did a skippy peanut butter voice.
Speaker 3: You're also in that weird position of when you're a
Speaker 3: comic and an actor. Yeah, I mean you you do
Speaker 3: commercials a lot exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so lately so yeah, my sense of.
Speaker 3: Worth is it's it's purely based on.
Speaker 2: You guys. Yes, And I have not been getting them,
Speaker 2: So my position has gotten more fetal during slumber times, but.
Speaker 3: Then pilot seasons. Right around.
Speaker 2: Pilot season, it's kind of curving the corner. It's it's
Speaker 2: rounding it. When does it end? When does it start?
Speaker 2: When did it start? For others? That's and does it
Speaker 2: matter anymore? It kind of doesn't. I like where this
Speaker 2: is going well, but let's be I feel like like last.
Speaker 5: Year, Fox made an announcement basically saying we're going to
Speaker 5: do pilot season all year, right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, why because of cable? Why does there have to
Speaker 2: be a seat? Is it because of weather?
Speaker 5: It's not the fifties anymore. We don't need a season
Speaker 5: season and they don't.
Speaker 3: Make deals anymore. It used to be pilot season. Then
Speaker 3: you get a pilot deal or a holding deal. All
Speaker 3: that's out the window.
Speaker 2: Now everyone just makes a pilot and doesn't get picked up.
Speaker 3: And then yeah, everyone's like, I'll pay for my own pilot. Please.
Speaker 1: I beg you to look at it.
Speaker 2: It's it's fully produced. I'm trying to sell it to Netflix.
Speaker 2: It's already finished, there's twelve episodes.
Speaker 3: I got my own advertisers.
Speaker 2: I even made shot my own commercials, which was very difficult.
Speaker 3: Please doesn't look at it.
Speaker 2: Nope, nope, no, thank you, it does doesn't have crystallia
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite television show these days?
Speaker 5: For that's that's a good can. I have several answers.
Speaker 5: I'll try to narrow it down. I'll narrow it down to.
Speaker 2: A favorite comedy program and a favorite drug okay, okay, genre,
Speaker 2: favorite dramedy Okay.
Speaker 5: I have so many favorite dramedies. That's where the list
Speaker 5: gets along. Favorite comedy. Last Man on Earth is just
Speaker 5: is wonderful.
Speaker 2: I love it. I have his voice in my Ways navigation.
Speaker 2: I wasn't aware that was a accidentally. I guess I
Speaker 2: don't have ways, so it doesn't. It's a great idea
Speaker 2: for a show. I was excited about that. He's lived
Speaker 2: up to my expectations.
Speaker 3: It's great.
Speaker 5: He's so funny, and it's it feels different from other shows.
Speaker 5: Kimmy Schmidt's great too, But I feel like this is
Speaker 5: like a very different thing that I haven't seen before.
Speaker 5: And drama drama, uh the Americans, I think, which I
Speaker 5: don't know what's going on eighty percent of the time. Sure,
Speaker 5: but the acting is so fine and occasionally they'll play
Speaker 5: a Fleetwood Max song and you get to see someone
Speaker 5: get shot to it, and it's very cool.
Speaker 3: A lot of people like I keep seeing articles like
Speaker 3: Americans the show.
Speaker 1: No one's watching that should they should be watching around?
Speaker 5: Oh, it's so Have either of you seen it? It's fantastic.
Speaker 5: It's FX. Oh okay, yes, FX. And it's so good.
Speaker 5: I mean, and if you understand even the Cold War,
Speaker 5: even five percent more than I do, you'll definitely like,
Speaker 5: oh wow.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's such a huge part of my childhood that era,
Speaker 2: you know, sure, being scared and get ready to hide
Speaker 2: under my desk at any moment. Yeah, yeah, it's uh
Speaker 2: what about you two? Do you have Transparent for me
Speaker 2: to watch that? It's so it's the best. It's just
Speaker 2: the best acting I've seen in a thing. Okay, with
Speaker 2: the exception of one person in it, So I just
Speaker 2: kind of can you name that person? No, I don't, don't.
Speaker 2: It's they're terrible, They're everyone is so good in it.
Speaker 2: It's just great. And Jill, what's she I don't look
Speaker 2: what has she done? She just wrote on she wrote
Speaker 2: on sixty number.
Speaker 5: Okay, it's so good. Yeah, it's I loved the pilot,
Speaker 5: but I just have been. There are one hundred TV
Speaker 5: shows I need to watch, and it's and like.
Speaker 2: You mentioned, it's the music and everything, Like the music
Speaker 2: is beautiful and shot whimsic, whimsically.
Speaker 5: I just it's just like a dream world at all,
Speaker 5: not at all, that's not whimsical, a huge fantastical element, all.
Speaker 2: The interstitial lighting things from punch drunk Love and all
Speaker 2: that kind of I just have to compare it to.
Speaker 1: I Love That though, which just pretty yeah, and that's.
Speaker 2: Great, and Jeffrey Tampoor is my new favorite person and
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 1: Wait to see it.
Speaker 3: I haven't. I feel like I'm holding that, like I
Speaker 3: want to watch it, but I haven't figured out how
Speaker 3: to do it yet, and I just I'm like holding
Speaker 3: it like there's a little treat I.
Speaker 2: Got wrong eyed and that was It's perfect. Two days
Speaker 2: I watched the whole season.
Speaker 1: I guess, well, right now I'm obsessed with the jam.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: I need to watch that so bad because.
Speaker 1: Because that's my that really is.
Speaker 3: I don't like watching comedy that much. I feel it's
Speaker 3: so so emotional when I watch comedy. Either I get
Speaker 3: like crazily jealous or I love it so much. I
Speaker 3: feel like my head's gonna explode, like it's too much.
Speaker 3: I might be a bipolar but so I like watching
Speaker 3: murder shows. I also really am fascinated by rich people.
Speaker 3: So the Jinx has everything I love all in one beautiful.
Speaker 2: But it's it's a documentary but kind of packaged like
Speaker 2: it's a it's a.
Speaker 3: Series, but it's like six. Yeah they did it like
Speaker 3: staircase style where they're they needed it out over six.
Speaker 5: Staircase style, that staircase show, Staircase document, staircase.
Speaker 2: Although I am familiar with the staircase style of of comedy. Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: well you want to have.
Speaker 3: It build, let's staircase this one guy. Okay, everybody, such.
Speaker 2: A great thing. You could say them just with confidence
Speaker 2: in a meeting. Oh yeah, people would just agree with you.
Speaker 2: Take up jargon like that and then have people agree
Speaker 2: with you and then call that's I'm describing an asshole.
Speaker 2: But yeah, a Staircase style fraud.
Speaker 3: Just prank someone politely agreed with me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're nodded and smile.
Speaker 3: You're a dip.
Speaker 2: Should make me feel supportive even though you didn't know
Speaker 2: what I was talking about, But that means you're dumb.
Speaker 3: I also wait, There's another one that I liked, well,
Speaker 3: The Last Man. Sunday Night got crazy where there was
Speaker 3: tons of shows.
Speaker 5: I feel like that happens twice a year when suddenly
Speaker 5: there are nine shows on Sunday Night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to pick one up. Is that the
Speaker 2: night Mike and Molly's on? That's the Mike and Molly.
Speaker 1: No, it's mad Ment. I'm just thrilling mad Men's coming back.
Speaker 3: I love that show.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be a mess. I'm going to be
Speaker 2: a falling mess by the end of it.
Speaker 3: It's I love it.
Speaker 2: Do you watch as I like John Hamlot, but I
Speaker 2: Mad Men kind of. I just lost track and then
Speaker 2: I tried to jump back in. But yes, like everyone
Speaker 2: that first season, I was like, oh, this is a
Speaker 2: different kind of terrific show. But yeah, I feel like
Speaker 2: there's I'm excited. I'm when I'm a Dorg. I'm very
Speaker 2: excited for Game of Thrones to be me too. I
Speaker 2: like everyone love that, and I love that.
Speaker 5: Game of Thrones is wonder It is great. Have either
Speaker 5: of you read those books books?
Speaker 3: I can't read.
Speaker 5: Oh, that's why neither you can read them? So embarrassed,
Speaker 5: which is.
Speaker 2: Why I'm sorry we were going nowhere near l a X.
Speaker 2: What is that green sign with white squigglies on it? Oh,
Speaker 2: it's that your American language again, but I sound smart.
Speaker 2: That would be it. That's my new favorite character? Am
Speaker 2: I saying that right there?
Speaker 1: Do you recommend the books?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And if you like the show, it almost feels
Speaker 2: like you're reading.
Speaker 5: I liked it because it felt like I was just
Speaker 5: reading history books about these characters in this crazy world.
Speaker 5: There's so much that I couldn't follow, and if you
Speaker 5: ask me any specific question about them, I would not
Speaker 5: be able to answer you.
Speaker 2: At this point.
Speaker 1: You haven't read these books.
Speaker 5: The covers are so beautiful, and I just go to
Speaker 5: Barnes and Noble and gaze at them.
Speaker 1: Lightly.
Speaker 5: No, there's extremely long, and the fourth and the fifth one,
Speaker 5: I think this is kind of the general opinion are
Speaker 5: not that exciting, But the third book is great.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, they're enough people read those books that I
Speaker 2: remember all this. Uh you know, all these people were
Speaker 2: up in arms about the Red Wedding or some episode
Speaker 2: where it was a little rapier or it was consent.
Speaker 2: I don't know that something that was consent in the
Speaker 2: book was serious.
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, yes, yeah, with uh Jamie and Ceruss.
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you. Yeah that remember people getting all mad.
Speaker 5: I think they made it rape here in the show, right,
Speaker 5: and in the book it's not like that at all,
Speaker 5: but I.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was just I'm like, wait, we're talking about
Speaker 2: villains here. I mean, I don't want anyone to get raped,
Speaker 2: but if anyone in the show was going to get it,
Speaker 2: I choose seriously, I'm probably there would probably is going
Speaker 2: to be some backlash to whatever. But she's really crucified.
Speaker 2: She wanted to Oh well, if you're mad that I'm
Speaker 2: happy she got raped, then you're happy that a little
Speaker 2: kid got pushed out of a window and it's forever
Speaker 2: Paralyz is a super villain. Yeah, yeah, she's not a
Speaker 2: good person. It doesn't make up for it that he
Speaker 2: can enter wolves spiritually make up.
Speaker 3: Oh right, you're right, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: But I do love Brown. That's his name.
Speaker 2: Brend's wonderful. Uh.
Speaker 3: The first episode that he was in, I was like,
Speaker 3: oh no, I have a crush on a nine year
Speaker 3: old boy.
Speaker 1: Everything about his face and.
Speaker 3: Like he was all like, man, I'm gonna go I'm
Speaker 3: a whole building or whatever.
Speaker 2: I was just like, oh, I love him, just a
Speaker 2: brave little boy.
Speaker 1: But he is in an adolescence now that has made.
Speaker 3: My crush end. He's a year old bird, right right, Yeah,
Speaker 3: he looks like he's like the birds he's entering.
Speaker 2: And then yeah, one turned eighteen. I quit looking at photos.
Speaker 2: I know what you're talking about, Joe. Come on, I
Speaker 2: was doing an old Bob sag it Joe. You guys
Speaker 2: don't like it when I sag it up. Gotta sag
Speaker 2: it up, No, dig got to sag it up. Sorry,
Speaker 2: we're we're doing an extra long episode.
Speaker 5: I think he's a four hour episode. Well, did you
Speaker 5: already talk about the marathon.
Speaker 2: On your way? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, goddamn Well, I'm I.
Speaker 5: Just want to say I will never run a marathon
Speaker 5: after today. I will actively tell people not to run marathons.
Speaker 5: It's not fair less.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just all I think of is, well, it's
Speaker 2: inconvenient for the rest of the world, your narcissistic desire
Speaker 2: to run, and there's got to be a better way
Speaker 2: to get a Facebook photo, yeah of you with diarrhea
Speaker 2: running down your mask. I am Yeah. I just don't
Speaker 2: understand why they insist on doing it in the middle
Speaker 2: of town. One of the worst days I had a
Speaker 2: few years ago, was also during the marathon. It is.
Speaker 2: It is a cause of heartbreak to.
Speaker 3: Man, Just don't I really wish I had Like Ridgin
Speaker 3: and I talked about this yesterday and I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look at what the path is and then
Speaker 3: I'll let you know what time we're going to get you.
Speaker 3: The key element that I forgot to do is look
Speaker 3: at where the path was. Sure, so I was like,
Speaker 3: we'll get you at eleven or whatever.
Speaker 1: But I was like, it's I kind of felt like
Speaker 1: I knew.
Speaker 3: I was so shocked to see that it really was
Speaker 3: on Sunset like the least convenient. Oh, it's the way
Speaker 3: to fuck everything in the entire city is to fuck
Speaker 3: up Sunset Boulevard.
Speaker 2: And that's not like a it's a pleasant place to run.
Speaker 2: That's the worst place in the world. Exactly why there?
Speaker 2: What is the novelty of it? Is it some kind
Speaker 2: of a power pedestrian power move? The pedestrians are taking
Speaker 2: it back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're so sick getting hit and run.
Speaker 2: On every other day.
Speaker 1: This is right, isn't it.
Speaker 2: Yeah? You're doing great? Yeah, it's uh. I knew that.
Speaker 2: Last I was nervous. I had trouble sleeping last night
Speaker 2: because I was worried about I think we're in good shape,
Speaker 2: by the way. Yeah, it's only twelve thirty, right, Oh,
Speaker 2: wonderful shape. Yeah, okay, I was so I kept waking
Speaker 2: up because I had a late show last night that
Speaker 2: started at midnight. And oh, we screened this thing I
Speaker 2: was working on and all the comics did twenty minutes.
Speaker 3: Oh, I thought you meant you screened it with your friends.
Speaker 3: You screened it at the midnight show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what is the thing that's great? It's uh
Speaker 2: me being forrest gumped or green it's me acting in
Speaker 2: a green screen and then added to the movie cocktail
Speaker 2: character and we kind of reap, oh kind of and
Speaker 2: made it more of a thriller where I'm stalking Tom
Speaker 2: Cruise and there's some scientology jokes. But it looks amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I would like you to see it. It's will this
Speaker 2: will be a place on the internet. But that's last night.
Speaker 2: It was so funny. There's a little Q and a
Speaker 2: kind of and someone said where can we see it?
Speaker 2: And he said, well, I want to put it on YouTube.
Speaker 2: It'll probably get taken down. Uh, just look for it
Speaker 2: and when you find it, show its all your friends
Speaker 2: like that. I'm like, oh, that's how viral, that's how
Speaker 2: that happened. So we're gonna put it on Vimeo. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Vimeo is kind of a more lawless and because it's
Speaker 2: as long as too many cooks, I think a lot
Speaker 2: of people will see something almost twelve minutes and get scared. Sure,
Speaker 2: so I feel like we should edit a little movie
Speaker 2: trailer and have that be a minute long with all
Speaker 2: the highlights. But anyway, it's gonna put it on Vimeo.
Speaker 2: And this has been a ton of work. It has
Speaker 2: been months of work because there's all these reshoots, like
Speaker 2: we look at what comes up and then it's not
Speaker 2: lit right and my eyeline isn't where good Brian Brown
Speaker 2: is and so it's like, oh, we have to reshoot that.
Speaker 2: Also our mic broke, so we have to redo the sound.
Speaker 2: So I was doing all the adr like looping and
Speaker 2: it was disgusting, but it was it's where it looks
Speaker 2: so good. It looks I mean that commercial was it
Speaker 2: Snickers where it's a Brady Bunch scene and ooks, it
Speaker 2: looks like that. It's that technology but with jokes and
Speaker 2: not just Steve Blue Shemmy you don't know what I
Speaker 2: have to say, Marsh. That was abstinct. It was not
Speaker 2: That was not the Brady Bunch movie. But we want
Speaker 2: to do something with it. It's some mystery science theater
Speaker 2: type repurposing of movies. Sounds wonderful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't wait to see you.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. I'm excited about it. I want
Speaker 2: to talk about it, but I keep it inside, you know,
Speaker 2: like a lot of my feelings. We're on Century Boulevard.
Speaker 2: We were closing in on the airport, so many of
Speaker 2: our original sponsors. Remember that first Taco.
Speaker 3: On top about it?
Speaker 2: Everywhere we went we said it was a sponsor. It
Speaker 2: didn't really work. Does this episode have a sponsor? Not yet.
Speaker 3: We're working on that right now, Marathon.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're going to pour money this episode. All
Speaker 2: things Comedy as a whole is getting sponsored by some
Speaker 2: mattress company and all the money will go to everyone. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's coming. I haven't told you about that.
Speaker 3: I saw the email.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean, if it's a little bit of scratch,
Speaker 2: why mattress company wants to give you money. I don't
Speaker 2: know what they're called yet, but we aren't sponsored by
Speaker 2: them yet, so I can just call them pins and needles.
Speaker 1: Don't say that. We do not recommend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very or nothing. My wife dumps while I
Speaker 2: drink wine.
Speaker 3: When is your birthday?
Speaker 2: Yeah? My birthday is in October. Oh, and do you
Speaker 2: want me to tell you where? Which airline? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Can we guess?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah? And then his birthday in October October twenty.
Speaker 2: It's my birth today.
Speaker 3: You're flying Alaska October ninth.
Speaker 2: I knew it. I know it was the twentieth of
Speaker 2: the night and you are on Alaska horizon. Nope, southwest southwest? Oh, god,
Speaker 2: third one And that was good. That was It's a
Speaker 2: very austin flight. Southwest. You're gonna love it there. Maybe
Speaker 2: I don't know, Maybe you'll be frustrated and locked in
Speaker 2: a rooming hours. But I hope you get a seaspoon.
Speaker 2: Get to seaspoon and eat some food. Will be if
Speaker 2: you don't get a seaspoon. When you eat the food,
Speaker 2: you should eat it with a spoon. Perfect. That was dumb.
Speaker 1: A lot of do you eat barbecue?
Speaker 2: I love barbecue.
Speaker 3: You're gonna have a lot of great opportunities.
Speaker 5: You're just gonna to fill myself with meat and tacosh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do have breakfast tacos while you're there. That's
Speaker 2: been my dream for at least five years. It's the
Speaker 2: best to have breakfast in Awesome. There's people go crazy
Speaker 2: about them. Just all that text Max, you'll gain a
Speaker 2: few pounds. But god, it's just when I lived there,
Speaker 2: I just I got I ate a lot, and I
Speaker 2: got big, and then I enjoyed every minute of it.
Speaker 2: I was also drinking beer every night. Oh thank you.
Speaker 2: It's just kind of fishing. I hope you can say that.
Speaker 3: Now, do you have anything you want to plug?
Speaker 2: I can plug? I mean, can I just plug products?
Speaker 2: I love?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 5: Because I need to get the word out about Mother's
Speaker 5: brand peanut Butter Gaucho cookies. What I cannot stop talking.
Speaker 5: For the last year. I have been bothering people to
Speaker 5: buy these.
Speaker 3: I've never heard.
Speaker 5: I've never had a Nutter butter. This is that times
Speaker 5: a billion. This is such a superior cookie sea And
Speaker 5: they are a little expensive at Ralph's, so I went
Speaker 5: for them to go on sale. But when they do
Speaker 5: go on sale, I will buy six to eight packages
Speaker 5: at a time. They are phenomenal. It's a sandwich cookie
Speaker 5: with peanut butter. But for some reason, it's it's the
Speaker 5: best an taste.
Speaker 2: Think they say the mothers gaucho peanut butter gauchos, and
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm pronouncing.
Speaker 1: That you are gauchos correct.
Speaker 2: Gaucho is a type of cookie. I mean, I.
Speaker 3: Referred to as a cookie, but the word gaucho is
Speaker 3: like that's a it's a Mexican cowboy.
Speaker 2: No, that's right. I believe that's correct. Peanut butter gauchos.
Speaker 5: Mothers has other types that are fine, fine or I
Speaker 5: haven't tried to have the taffy, the chocolate sandwich, but
Speaker 5: the peanut butter gaucho is another world.
Speaker 3: I think mothers are famous for those, their circus or
Speaker 3: animal cookies.
Speaker 2: And those for me are not That is not weird
Speaker 2: waxy sugar.
Speaker 3: But what's the deal with a Gaucho's So it's like
Speaker 3: a peanut butter oreo, but.
Speaker 5: I feel like that's under selling it. Yeah, the texture,
Speaker 5: the flavor, everything about this is so good. I can't
Speaker 5: I cannot tell.
Speaker 2: I hate that I don't like certain words to where
Speaker 2: I don't like the word gaucho with a cookie, I
Speaker 2: like it with the Mexican cowboy. It makes me think
Speaker 2: of the name gringo oa and you know peanut butter gringos.
Speaker 2: The gauchos used to sit and a lot of the
Speaker 2: cowboys used to sing a song called Green Grows the Grass,
Speaker 2: and so in mimicking the cowboys, they'd say, gringos, that's
Speaker 2: where gringo comes from. No funny, because this is real.
Speaker 2: Google that stuff, gringo, and then green Grows the Grass
Speaker 2: the song pop up and Albert BROCCOLI's family invented broccoli
Speaker 2: by crossbreeding cauliflower. And you're just saying, yeah, I'm right
Speaker 2: about the green coat.
Speaker 3: Is that the only product you want to play?
Speaker 2: Let's let me see if I can. Can I plug
Speaker 2: an album? Yeah? Yeah, we're just gonna a band called Dick.
Speaker 5: Diver Melbourne in Florida, fantastic Australian band singing sad songs,
Speaker 5: wonderful sad songs.
Speaker 1: Diver's I've never even heard.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's a I think a lot of people
Speaker 5: assume they're going to be like this obnoxious band because
Speaker 5: they're called Dick Diver, but I think it's an f
Speaker 5: Scott Fitzgerald character or something.
Speaker 2: So it's a you know, this is multiple levels. It
Speaker 2: does make me think of a tiny guy in Espeedo
Speaker 2: diving into someone's your throat. That sounds if it's anything
Speaker 2: like a swab a right, Okay, I've been to a
Speaker 2: doctor sue me.
Speaker 5: So that's an album I do have. It's been in
Speaker 5: the work since last July. A web series coming up.
Speaker 5: I don't want to give anything away. It's gonna be
Speaker 5: I'm hoping to shoot for like six seasons of this.
Speaker 5: We've got the first season done. My friend Matti Gabreton
Speaker 5: and I worked on it. It's got a beautiful Matt
Speaker 5: is my friend and mine.
Speaker 2: He's great.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's fantastic. And my friend Jordan Kim is editing it.
Speaker 5: So it's going. It's almost done, and I think it's
Speaker 5: gonna really change the way people think about web series.
Speaker 5: It's got everything you need and I think it's going
Speaker 5: to be I think the first season is ten episodes.
Speaker 2: It's got so look forward to that in the future.
Speaker 2: I don't know that I can describe it. Wait a minute,
Speaker 2: that's a non existent.
Speaker 5: No, this is it's absolutely but I don't want to
Speaker 5: give anything away because.
Speaker 2: I won't.
Speaker 5: It has a beautiful theme song sung by my friend
Speaker 5: James Girard, I composed the lyrics, it's got. It just
Speaker 5: has got so many things working for it.
Speaker 1: When does it come out?
Speaker 2: Hopefully soon?
Speaker 5: Jordan has been busy editing other projects, but he's I
Speaker 5: believe almost done.
Speaker 3: So And are you gonna put like on Twitter or
Speaker 3: how are you going to I'm.
Speaker 2: Just gonna blast this all over the internet. That's where mine,
Speaker 2: that's where mine's coming out to.
Speaker 5: You know, it's gonna we're gonna have it on the internet.
Speaker 5: We'll have it on the on YouTube, and then I'm gonna,
Speaker 5: you know, just politely ask people on Twitter to spend
Speaker 5: some time watching it. But uh yeah, ten episodes, ten seasons,
Speaker 5: and look forward to that little thing in the next year.
Speaker 3: And you're the star of it.
Speaker 5: I am the star of it, Okay, you know, Matt
Speaker 5: has a small part, and there, you know, I go
Speaker 5: through something that I think a lot of people can
Speaker 5: relate to and have struggled with, and there people are
Speaker 5: gonna love it. It's gonna really we're looking at a
Speaker 5: you know, I don't know any web series to compare
Speaker 5: it to, but it's gonna be the best.
Speaker 2: That sounds terrific. Okay, that's not fair, really dumb, Well,
Speaker 2: normally with our sign we honk. But I yeah, I
Speaker 2: feel like it's made it here. There's jack Allison. No way,
Speaker 2: do you know that guy who is it? Oh? Not
Speaker 2: that guy that's like a fellow writer. Wow, there is Jackson. Well,
Speaker 2: well we'll wrap it up. Yeah, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that we had terrific This was a struggle today. No,
Speaker 2: it was fun. It was a great special episode. We're
Speaker 2: gonna hank at your friend because I'm gonna say thank
Speaker 2: you for being on d ride y n A r.